Would like to see some of them being caught out as total hypocrites though...

 Reply

YOU CANNOT WRITE THIS SHIT, IT IS TOO GOOD.

Aside from that, I thought the emails to his mistress were awfully sexy and romantic for a milquetoast Repub, though I guess I should have learned by now that they do dirty in ways we'd never suspect. Gov Sanford, who knew? Hypocrite's a fuckin' poet.

 Reply

Step 2: When the house of lies crashes, talk about God a lot. In ways that most normal people can't follow. Bring His name into each sentence at least three times. Then blame everything on Him ("In God's vision I try to walk. But God tested me, God made me fail. His fault for testing me).

Step 3: Talk about how fabulous your wife and kids are. Ad nauseum. Use a lot of God talk here, too. And TONS of self-recrimination-but a tiny bit of blame here too. (...My family is perfect, a perfect shiny gem of god... I wouldn't have had an affair on these perfect Godlike beings had the stimulus package been rejected".

Step 4: Start wrapping up the self recrimination, and jump on the looking forward bandwagon. All should be forgiven with that much self flagellation. In the future, should anyone ever bring up the affair, brag about how much blame you took, and how much God helped you heal.

Step 5: Finally admit the affair was with an 18 year old of the same sex. Go back to step 1.

 Reply

That said, I enjoy it when Republicans try and fail to have discreet, crazy sex. Cracks me right the hell up. It makes sense, they try so hard to pretend they don't do things like that that when they do.... On one of the news channels a Repub. pundit was, hypothetically, asking if they should abandon the family values platform b/c Repubs have difficulty practicing them. He then went on to ask if they should abandon the pro-life movement b/c Repubs have abortions. He seemed to think that it was ridonkuolous that the platform should match the politico.

Those people (the ones who expect you to behave in a certain manner- like, You were the one who had sex -therefore you must carry that baby. Rape? Incest? Sorry, your womb is not your own) won't ever get it.

P.S. They are all dicks, though. Including Bill Clinton. You do not cheat on a spouse. You do not subject a person you once loved to ridicule, public humiliation, and STDS simply because you want to have sex with someone else. Divorce them. Or have an open marriage. Whatever. Self-centered dicks cheat.

I have stepped off my soapbox.

 Reply

Cause him being in politics, it seems like there's basically a 0% chance he's been faithful.

 Reply