Hillary Clinton Wins Puerto Rico Primary
According to projections by CNN and the Associated Press, Hillary Clinton will win Sunday’s Democratic primary in Puerto Rico, leaving her less than 30 pledged delegates and superdelegates away from the 2,383 she needs to clinch the nomination.
Donald Trump Officially Says No to Fake Debate He Was Never Really Considering
After Trump gave a half-joking sort of non-answer to Bernie Sanders’ request to debate during Jimmy Kimmel Live earlier this week, Trump has finally clarified his answer that “if [Bernie] paid a nice sum for a charity, I would love to [debate]!” The clarification being that Trump, in fact, meant “no.”
Clown Recognize Clown
For the first time in his life, Donald Trump is a winner. How does he celebrate?
Big-Name Writers Sign Petition Condemning Trump and Swiftly Ending His Candidacy
In a demonstration of optimism, a group of over 450 writers, including Junot Diaz, Stephen King and Cheryl Strayed, released a petition on Tuesday to decry Donald Trump’s candidacy. I guess we can all go home!
What Exactly Is Drudge Report Implying?
As of 3:45 p.m., the Drudge Report was leading with a story about Bill Cosby. “COSBY TO STAND TRIAL IN SEX ASSAULT CASE,” the homepage screamed, underneath a photograph of Bill Cosby speaking as Hillary Clinton clapped approvingly in the background. The implication, of course, is that as long as Clinton stays silent…
Is Donald Trump’s Hair a $60,000 Weave? A Gawker Investigation [Updated]
Presumptive GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump has generated an unceasing torrent of press attention that some estimate to be worth roughly $2 billion. Yet the central mystery at the very core of his persona—his inscrutable hairdo—has somehow, impossibly, remained unsolved. Until, perhaps, now.
'No More Oreos' For Chris Christie, Trump Decides
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, who is currently not (wink) being held hostage by Donald Trump, has demonstrated the pitfalls of campaigning with a narcissistic bowl of rotten gazpacho—for example, in addition to everything else that is terrible about Donald Trump, he will also publicly berate you for being…
Trump Dismisses Groping Allegations Against Him, Says Bill Clinton Was Accused of Rape
Donald Trump, still spiraling loudly nearly a week after the New York Times published a story that depicted his dealings with women in a negative light, is now contending that “it’s not the worst things, okay, when you look at what Clinton’s gone through and all the things that he’s done.” My, what a wonderful cast of…
Ivanka Trump, For One, Is Convinced Her Dad Is ‘Not a Groper'
You know what’s bad? When you are so numb to the fact that a pair of chapped lips superglued to a hairball is running for president that you don’t even find it all that weird, at first, that his daughter Ivanka is going around clarifying that said hairball does not “grope” people. But it is weird! America, let us…
Marco Rubio Stops Being Polite, Starts Getting Real
Former Republican presidential candidate and soon-to-be ex-Senator Marco “Roboto” Rubio has oiled his hinges and let off some steam via one beautifully catty late night tweetstorm directed at the Washington Post.
Obama on Trump: Don't Be an Idiot
In a blistering condemnation of Donald Trump’s political platform, President Obama told graduating seniors at Rutgers University to be smart and not dumb on Sunday, NPR reports.
Elizabeth Warren Finally, Actually, Really Tears Donald Trump Apart
Elizabeth Warren, who is doing a far better job humiliating Donald Trump than Hillary Clinton’s own campaign, let loose a scathing string of tweets earlier this evening. I cannot recommend them highly enough.



