• Yoko Ono turned up to the Tokyo launch of Comme des Garçons' Beatles-inspired line. [WWD]
• Christian Lacroix may not have a confirmed buyer for his bankrupt fashion line, but he will design a tower in Dubai. [AB]

• 14-year-old style blogger wunderkind Tavi Gevinson is in Tokyo this week for Comme des Garçons' holiday party. In between expressing her admiration for her idol, Rei Kawakubo, Tavi will do photo shoots with Japanese magazines. [WWD]
• EBay has started doing pop-up designer sales, like Gilt Groupe. It also has a holiday store in Manhattan, selling Norma Kamali's line for the site. [NItrolicious]
• Now that Celine has creative director Phoebe Philo, it wants to open 10 new stores conceptualized by her. Meanwhile, it is closing several of its existing stores. [UK Vogue]
• Philo's debut line for the brand has been so popular with retailers the company has gained new accounts across the U.S. [WWD]
• Forever 21 is getting into the beauty business. This month, its full 145-piece line of cosmetics will hit stores. The products look appropriately glittery. [WWD]
• The ladies at Nylon saw the gorgeous sequined socks on Miu Miu's runway, balked at the $450 cost, and made their own for about $20. Speaking as one who still wears her handknit holey Rodarte fall '08-inspired tights, I approve this DIY message. [Nylon]
• Tom Ford not only financed the $7 million cost of A Single Man himself, and wrote into the script elements of various episodes from his own life, he went so far as to fill the characters' homes with his own furniture. He even painted the paintings on their walls himself. [IndieWire]
• SATC stylist and designer Pat Field and Kim Cattrall did an ad for Bailey's. It features Cattrall wearing a red dress with a bow on it, since Bailey's is being sold in holiday-promo bottles with red bows this year, and everyone involved seems to think they are totally making fashion history, as opposed to doing some rather literal-minded if inoffensive shilling. "This dress is one of the most daring garments I've ever worn," enthuses Cattrall. [SB]
• Christian Louboutin, the shoe designer who once said "comfort is not part of my creative process," maintains he learned the value of comfortable shoes when he left school at 15 to intern at the Folies Bergère, and the dancers sent him out for veal carpaccio, which they used to line their shoes. Now he uses "technical secrets" to make his shoes "easy to walk in." But his biggest enemy in life is the ankle, because, as he puts it, "You can do a design, and it looks good on paper — then when you put it on it makes your legs look fat." We would point out that a design that only looks good on paper isn't really a great design. [Independent]
• Alber Elbaz received an honor with the rather long name the Grande Médaille de Vermeil de la Ville de Paris from mayor Bertrand Delanoë on Friday. When asked what he loved most about the city, the Lanvin designer said, "There's so many things. It's a dream city and it's a city of dreamers...I will be original, and I will say Parisians!" [WWD]
• Look at what Tyra has wrought: 1,500 girls lined up on Saturday in New York, and another 1,000 in Los Angeles, to try to be chosen as America's representative to the Ford agency's Supermodel of the World competition. [UPI]
• Alessandra Ambrosio's "diary" of the week before the Victoria's Secret fashion show is mostly a tale of her yearning for free time to work out, and skipping meals. Don't worry, she has a cheeseburger after it's over! [People]
• "When I was a kid, I remember telling my mom I was going to be the first woman president, an actor, then a veterinarian on the weekends," says Brooklyn Decker, the Sports Illustrated and Victoria's Secret model. "I somehow decided to be an uneducated model instead." [NYTimes]
• Helena Christensen says she dreams of "situations inspired by the work of artists such as Egon Schiele and Carl Larsson, Laura Ingalls Wilder's Little House on the Prairie book series, and the intricate yet utterly simple compositions in nature." And her dream house would be the late Edward Gorey's place on Cape Cod. Ours too. [Independent]
• This year's Pirelli calendar, shot by Terry Richardson, features no retouching. "A great photographer captures the moment — that's why I shoot without extra equipment and without assistants," claims Richardson, oddly, because he does in fact have assistants. (Perhaps they weren't used for this job?) [WWD]
• François-Henri Pinault, owner of Pinault Printemps Redoute, is looking to spin off several of his company's largest, cheapest chains, like FNAC and the mail-order empire La Redoute, in order to free up capital to invest in mid-market brands that would have both higher margins, and would sit better in a stable that includes Stella McCartney and Gucci. What this means in practice is that PPR might buy Abercrombie & Fitch. [Telegraph]

We read this book with interest. Especially instructive were what to say when deflowered by famous crooner.

Famous crooner visits town on one night stand, and through a series of lucky breaks, you get autograph. After deflowerment, he leaves town and when you tell story to girl friends, they do not believe you. You refuse to be laughing stock. On crooner's return engagement at local theatre, you storm his dressing room with mob of skeptical girl friends. You show autograph to crooner to refresh his memory. He says, "That's not my handwriting." You say: "Then may I come back for your real autograph later?"

(Miss Hyacinthe Phypps, the book's author, editorializes: "Obviously, someone in this situation is completely confused.")

Illustrations are also suitably intriguing. Particularly well-rendered were "the fraternity boy" and the "blind date" (dressed, as they always are, in double-breasted plaid mac and leghorn hat.)

If we had one quibble with the estimable book, it is that we wish the author had been able to address conundra of the modern age. To wit:"Deflowerment by Webcam," "Deflowerment by Sparkly Vampire," "Deflowerment by Gay Friend While Both Drunk," "Deflowerment at Locavore Restaurant When You Don't Know Partner's Provenance" and "Deflowerment by Giggling Animated Belgian Penis."

In sum, however, this is a useful and instructive manual, a necessity to any well-stocked library, and possibly the most inappropriate graduation gift since the Sex and the City box set.

The Recently Deflowered Girl: The Right Thing to Say on Every Dubious Occasion [Amazon]

• Katie Holmes made the cover of AnOther Magazine — along with Vanessa Paradis, Kate Moss, and Natalie Portman. [DesignScene]
• Apparently, we're supposed to support Gwyneth Paltrow's absurdly high-priced clothing line for Zoetee's because the profits are for charity. [People]

• Those pictures starring a Victoria Beckham lookalike, wearing Beckham's dresses, which the Daily Mail mistook for a lookbook from the line yesterday, are actually from an online-only editorial in V, and therefore not associated with Posh at all. Model Heidi Mount was cast by the magazine to impersonate La Beckham, and she does a mighty good job. [V]
• But the leaked images of Scarlett Johanson from earlier this week are indeed campaign shots for Dolce & Gabbana's new scent, Rose The One. [People]
• Marc Jacobs will have an after-party following his fashion show this season! And not just any party: He's doing it with Lady Gaga. [The Cut]
• Marc Jacobs said Anna Wintour is "Very maternal and caring," and then added the all-important follow-up, "to the people she cares about." [People]
• Because of Wintour's famed dislike of tardiness, all the bold-faced names at the September Issue premiere were remarkably prompt to arrive. Except for P. Diddy, who got to the red carpet, realized he was the only one there, and sprinted for the doors. Anna Wintour can make P. Diddy run. [NYObs]
• Maggie Gyllenhaal may be presenting Dries Van Noten with his award at the Couture Council of the Museum at FIT luncheon, which kicks off New York Fashion Week. Gyllenhaal has worn the Dutch designer several times in the past. [Stylefile]
• Michael Bay, the director the New Yorker called "stunningly, almost viciously untalented," is doing the Victoria's Secret holiday commercial again this year (he last got the credit in 2002.) And he just uploaded some behind-the-scenes shots of Doutzen, Adriana, et. al., to his website. [MichaelBay]
• Meanwhile, Hayden Christensen is shilling for Lacoste's scent, Challenge. [ONTD]
• We do not look forward to the day when celebrities, after developing exhaustive arrays of perfumes, launch into home fragrances, as Ferragamo is doing. [WWD]
• Christian Audigier says Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman, who flew to St. Tropez to holiday with the designer as reality TV star and reality TV star stylist, respectively, were not an item at first. But, "by the time two weeks passed it was a completely new story." Audigier also says that Gosselin "is not the same as he was. He has a more complicated life now." [People]
• Ralph Lauren went to a bar in Williamsburg, the ticking heart of New York hipsterdom, walked around, and left. This is news. [The Cut]
• Kellie Pickler is going to do an event next month for the charity Soles4Soles. [WWD]
• Could Haider Ackerman be in the running to take over Maison Martin Margiela? Margiela himself has been rumored to have stepped back from his namesake label for several seasons now — before the Fall 2009 show, there was a rumor that Margiela had taken on a consulting role, and just a couple months ago he was rumored to have left completely. Ackerman, when asked about the rumors that he might take over the house, said only, "When you meet the person you have admired for so many years, how can you possibly replace him? Sometimes it's better never to meet your heroes." [T via Fashionologie]
• And Jean Paul Gaultier is said to be resigning from Hermès, effective after his Spring/Summer show this October. [FWD]
• Perhaps we should be happy Rachel Zoe is a stylist, because if she hadn't ended up dressing small women in psychedelic tent dresses, she would have been "A psychiatrist. I am endlessly fascinated by people's minds and what makes them tick." [W]
• Electronic Arts is producing a line of video games targeted at 8-12-year-old girls, all of which will feature heavy product placement courtesy of Claire's, the costume jewelry chain. To wit: "My Fashion Mall, available for Nintendo DS, allows players to manage their own mall, taking it 'from drab to fab.' Girls can compete in mini-challenges at Claire's, which is featured in the game, as well as add Claire's charms to their virtual jewelry box." [BrandWeek]
• Christian Siriano is launching a line of makeup with Victoria's Secret, a collaboration that actually makes some sense because Siriano worked as a makeup artist when he first moved to New York. The products all reflect Siriano's Egyptian influence for his Fall 2009 collection, and include lots of bronzers and gold-flecked eye colors, named things like Oasis and, naturally, Gilded Fierce. And there's a kohl eye pencil that Siriano says is "really dirty and downtown — like, I dunno, you're going to go home with someone after you put it on." Or, as Edward Gorey put it, "The Wanton, though she knows its danger / must needs smear Kohl about her eyes / and catch the attention of a stranger / with drawn-out, hoarse, erotic sighs." [The Cut]
• Victoria's Secret just suffered a 27% decline in its second quarterly profit, so the chain is moving its focus to lower-priced items. Perhaps this means no more $80 tee shirt bra? [WSJ]
• Henry Holland loves "Walking. I just spent loads of money on a pair of studded Prada brogues and my justification was that my shoes are my car." We, car-less and broke and shoe-loving, wish we had never heard this justification. [W]
• Gap is apparently launching a pop-up store with the French concept shop Merci. All profits will be donated to charity, and the store will open on September 10 — just in time for fashion week — on the corner of Fifth Avenue and 54th Street. [WWD]
• A tipster claiming to work at Gen Art, the group that gives seed money to fashion designers and film-makers — Zac Posen is among the young talents to have received funds in the past — says the company, which has long been struggling financially, is the victim of its own leaders' mismanagement, and that while the staff experienced multiple rounds of pay cuts and layoffs, the brothers who run the show never even docked their own pay. [Gawker]
• Despite declining sales, cost-cutting at the Gap has meant the retailer saw a slight increase in its earnings for the second quarter, beating analysts' expectations. Sales fell by 7% across all the chains the Gap owns, but profits held virtually steady at $228 million, versus $229 million during the same period last year. [AP]
• Gap is also opening its first Israeli store in the city of Jerusalem on Monday. [UPI]
• Ann Taylor experienced a quarterly loss of $18 million. [TS]
• There is going to be a Twilight range of beauty products. By this point, we're only surprised there isn't one already! [WWD]

[Venice, May 14. Image via Getty]

Found Objects has unearthed the 1965 book The Recently Deflowered Girl — illustrated by Edward Gorey and ostensibly written by "Hyacinthe Phypps" — an etiquette book parody that instructs young ladies on what to say after losing their virginity. A variety of common first time scenarios are covered, including deflowerment by a mustachioed marimba player, a famous crooner, and the ghost of Rudolph Valentino at a seance. The book is out of print, but fortunately every page has been scanned, so it can continue to "serve the current generation of young ladies as it served their mothers." [Found Objects]

THE THING emerged soundlessly from the shallow end of the pool one humid August afternoon, whilst Millicent and Cordelia were reciting lines from Medea and contemplating what they ought to have for tea. They grew silent. The creature was very still, very beautiful, with an oddly bronzed hide.
"Shall we invite it to stay for scones?" Millicent asked quietly, her hushed voice small under the mute and blazing sun.
"It would be unseemly not to," Cordelia answered haughtily. "But we must notify Myrtle at once."

The creature refused to follow them inside the house, and they soon discovered that it preferred to remain as close to the water as possible. Dinner was a lavish affair with mousse for dessert. Cordelia deemed the thing a "nuisance" and went out of her way to pointedly ignore it. Millicent was filled with a gnawing sense of dread, which she blamed on menstrual cramps.

On Thursday, the creature killed Myrtle.
Cordelia began to suspect that The Hamptons had been a poor choice.

The creature became agitated without copious amounts of water being made available at all times. Harriet was enlisted to hose the thing down, as she'd once worked with elephants in Bombay.

On Friday, the thing killed Lucinda. The mood in the house was changing; was the entire summer to be ruined?

By Labor Day, all of the houseguests had grown weary of the creature's antics. Lenore announced she'd be spending next summer in Saint-Tropez.

The last bash of the season was a lively 1920s-themed bathtub gin-soaked soirée. They would be shutting up the house for the fall and returning to the city.
"Are we going to leave it here, or shall we take it with us?" questioned Eloise.
"Take what?" Imogen yawned.
"The creature," Eloise replied. There was a long silence, and then Violet slowly turned and gave Winnifred a quizzical look.
"What creature?" Violet seemed annoyed.
No one had any idea what Eloise was talking about.

Earlier: Valentino In Vogue: Models With Ennui Playing Invisible Croquet

At whist drives and strawberry teas / Fan would giggle and show off her knees/ But when she was alone / She'd drink eau de cologne / And weep from a sense of unease


There was a young lady named Rose / Who fainted whenever she chose / She did so one day while playing croquet / But was quickly revived with a hose


There's a rather odd couple in Herts / Who are cousins (or so each asserts) / Their sex is in doubt / For they're never without / Their moustaches and long, trailing skirts


Having made a remark rather coarse / A young lady was seized with remorse / She fled the room, and later, a groom / Saw her rolling about in the gorse

(Text taken from "The Listing Attic", via Amphigorey.)

Related: 2008: Valentino Is The Best Of First New Ads [Portfolio]