Jezebel 
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New York, 3:19 AM
Sun Nov 22
23 posts in the last 24 hours
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04/23/09
Last week, I am a failure in her eyes, and too useless to ever do anything. This week, all is well? Exhausting.
Note to self: never make love for children conditional.
04/22/09
04/23/09
04/22/09
I recently found out that my husband's been paying her bills with our money. I'm sure she's guilting him into it. She makes me feel like crap because I have a career and don't devote all my time to making sure my husband is happy.
My MIL is a serious problem in my marriage. I'm totally at the end of my rope.
04/23/09
I hope you and your spouse can get outside help or support. He is in the toughest position stuck between you and his mother. You and your hubby need support.
As difficult as it is IGNORE YOUR MIL'S comments. She is trying to wrest power away from you,so she can get a firmer (iron clad?) grasp on her son.
Good luck.
04/22/09
Honestly, sometimes I feel like such a loser that I'm in my mid 20's I've traveled met amazing people, had amazing experiences and really grown as a person, yet I still can't get over the horrible things that were said to me when I was as young as four.
04/23/09
You are still young--and I mean this in the best and sincerest way--so you are still early in your journey of establishing your identity. Keep developing your strengths, establish healthy relationships, don't let your shortcomings define you, use your mistakes as learning tools.
Do not label yourself a loser. You still have so much life to live and learn.
04/22/09
04/22/09
God, my mom is awesome.
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04/22/09
How me and my mom roll... Italian wedding style.
04/22/09
04/22/09
From Dancing
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04/22/09
We are contact, I see her every holiday and she calls me at three times a week. I try to be very neutral but there are times where I just can't take it. I moved out of the house four years ago, about to be married (next week) and we have a very strange and complicated relationship. However, it's a lot less volatile and overwhelming now that I've physically removed myself from the house.
I'm still working on the emotional :)
04/22/09
Stay strong. Focus on the progress you've made--not easy to do all the time, I know. My therapist gave me the analogy of being a dock in the water. No matter what the tide is doing just stay still and grounded.
04/22/09
She doesn't like that I am getting my PhD. She doesn't like that I moved out of the house, but she spent all the time I lived with her telling me how much she wanted me to move out of the house. She doesn't like my boyfriend, mainly because I like him and he doesn't try to buy my love, affection, or body. She thinks he should be taking me on vacations and buying me diamond rings. I'm like, I don't want diamonds, the process of mining them is too morally sketchy for me. She thinks I'm overreacting and I just need to calm down. She thinks I'm a horrible daughter.
I go to my grandmother's house (they live next door to one another) every week to clean it. I go to church with them on holidays and the masses they have dedicated to my grandfather. I fucking wear makeup, shave my legs, and wear specific clothes whenever I see her.
And yet I can't stop going out to dinner with them when they call, going over there when they invite me to dinner, always saying yes. I love them. My boyf doesn't get it, I don't think. He keeps telling me to disengage, or to cut them out. When I decided to go to grad school, she was basically like, "My friend's brother is a professor. He has a PhD in communications. He doesn't make any money, isn't tenured, and has to keep moving around the country because he can't hold down a job. If he can't do it, what the hell makes you think that you can do it?" Reeeeally supportive, mom.
But it's because all her life she just lived like it was 1964 and she did what she was expected to do. We come from a town that still pretends it's the early 60s. She never wanted kids, but she thought she wanted them. She thought she did because EVERYone wants kids, right? But she couldn't stand us, we made her depressed. She was always the size zero cheerleader, popular girl. Then we came along, she gained weight, couldn't go to bars anymore, had to stay at home and raise us, but still worked full time. No wonder she hated us.
04/22/09
[www.health.am]
04/22/09
04/22/09
Sigh...now I have to call her. :)
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04/22/09
I don't regret it, and I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything other than some Gilmore Girls style birthday parties. My dad is more than wonderful, and has filled both the mother and father roles very well.
04/22/09
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04/22/09
@PromQueen: My mom goes around our tiny town telling everyone how much my father beat her. They look at her, picture my father, and roll their eyes. My dad has Mr. O'Hara's temperament, and everyone who meets him knows he is a teddy bear within 30 seconds.
How did people react to her doing that?
04/22/09
that said, my quasi s.o. and i watched hbo's grey gardens and he felt that they both exhibited classic bipolar/manic depressive signs. i think that mental illness was definitely in the mix, but so much of their problems came from big edie's delusion of what her life was vs. what she wanted it to be. she was indoctrinated since birth to marry a rich man..not the right man. her life was all about keeping up appearances...even faking her maid's voice. little edie was stressed out from a desire to protect her, and i don't doubt that she was talented, but it didn't have any room to bloom.
my two cents.