Agreed, this chap is likely getting some psychological jollies from providing the biological material to create lotsa kids. And agreed, the world needs less people and adoption is an eminently sensible and wonderful choice.
But at a basic, human level, I appreciate what he's done. I do. I just found out last week that my sweet cousin Andy and his wife are going to have a baby. And the egg was not hers. They're in their early forties, solvent, and are the kindest, most generous people you'd ever be lucky enough to know. Just really fantastic, gentle, hilarious human beans. They've been trying to get pregnant for years, but it just hasn't happened for them.
And a really decent person came along and gave them some of her eggs, and it worked, and now they get to have a family of their own. And the joy it has given them makes me kind of misty just thinking about it.
So yeah, maybe the Ed Houben is a bit strange. And yeah, we all need to be having fewer kids. But man, it's still an AWESOME thing to do for a family. It really is. It's not curing cancer, and it's not creating world peace. But it is bringing just a tiny bit of happiness into the world, and you know? We can always do with more of that.
I require a photograph and resume (beyond his excellent ejaculation skills. I like a guy who's also well skilled in Microsoft Office) of this man. And I want at least 3 references.
"I do it because I know how hard it is for people who desperately want a child."
Call me a pessimistic, east coast liberal skeptic, but I'm also thinking you get something either emotionally, egotistically, or sexually satisfying out of this deal, too.
@LaComtesse: Yes he seems to be going to a lot of effort to spread his spermies around Europe. I just wonder what his kids will think years later when they found out their dad was a traveling sperm provider - coming to a Travel Lodge near you, for one night only!
@BeckySharper: Oh yes, judge on! Right there with you and bringing the Doritos. I'm just unwilling to harshly condemn him for it, since, like I said, no one seems to be getting hurt.
This past weekend, while arguing with friends over a drinking tab, I briefly considered donating an egg or two. I have more and I don't really want to have kids so whatever. Apparently, it's not whatever. Although you can make $8,000-$10,000 for an egg, you also have to take hormones for a while and undergo surgery. I wish I could masturbate and be done. I'd be rich.
@KiddyKat: I've considered it myself, especially since I would like to go back to school and I would have to take off work completely for at least a semester to complete onsite training. I don't think I would even mind the hormones, etc--it's several thousand dollars! But while I'm very supportive of couples who choose to go with a surrogate or an egg donor or something, a lot of it comes down to whether I want to be so intregal in a system that kinda screws over kids who need to be adopted.
I will also say this, though I know it's a polarizing issue: I really wish that people seeking artificial insemination or sperm donors would just look to adoption instead. The planet is massively overpopulated. Even with a billion less people, we'd still be strained beyond sustainability. And there are so, so many unwanted children in the world already. I understand there's a biological urge to have children of your own, but you know if that's just not working out for you, maybe do something good for the planet. I also realize it's not as black-and-white an issue as I just stated, but that's my own $.02.
@AuntieEm: Very much agreed. But those restrictions are in place to ensure good, safe homes for these children, and while I agree that there needs to be a much better, more efficient system in place, there do need to be very strict guidelines. Not everyone seeking children is doing so for the sake of the children.
@mbprice: I agree with you. As sad and as frustrating as it is, there need to be guidelines. There needs to be a processing period. It's hard, though, watching friends of mine (who have three children of their own) wait for everything to go through on their adoption from China. The saddest thing to me about it is that they'd be very unlikely to do so again because of how long it takes. They'd want to, but it's just a lot to handle.
@mbprice: I do agree with you up to a point. There are extenuating circumstances to every situation. A friend of mine recently became pregnant via artificial insemination. She would never be a viable candidate for adoption (single, young, lesbian with a non-traditional job).
@mbprice: Adoption costs a fucking lot more than a $500 vial of sperm and artificial insemination. You want to do something about the children who need homes, then you cough up the $20,000/adoption.
I do feel bad sometime when I get my period and I'm like well there's an egg wasted that could have helped someone. It seems less weird as someone else would carry the pregnancy so the biology seems intertwined for the"mothers" more than a sperm donor.
@water baby: If we just conserved more there'd be plenty of room especially with dwindling birth rates in central Europe. And I don't think your reasoning would make a desperate childless couple feel any better. Moreover if you want a 401k you do need a new generation to actually sustain taxes. A fall in the population would be economically crippling.
@mepo: I was specifically addressing mepo in a light-hearted way regarding her feeling guilty over not using her eggs. Where did you pull out childless couples from?
@bellesouth: Yeah, I clicked on the link to the article in hopes of seeing a photo or a list of his gifts/accomplishments. Not that good looks or outrageous intelligence is a prerequisite for being a good father/donor, but if people are seeking him out? Inquiring minds want to know: Why this one? Is it just his supersperm?
Oprah had an show about this and she interviewed sperm donor children and they all wanted to meet their biological fathers, and some of them had. Its a complicated issue and I would not be happy to find out that my partner had donated sperm. At the same time they provide a valuable service. I think it best however to reduce amount of donations.
One of the men interviewed had been regularly donating - twice a week at €40 a pop for over three years while in college. In the present financial climate it may become an attractive option for many men. Regulation needs to be tightened though to prevent clusters of genetically connected individuals.
@hortense: Lots of kids have fathers who are/were married to their mothers and it's no guarantee they'll be any happier with their daddy situation than kids whose biological fathers are sperm donors. Don't judge.
@hortense: You can't assume that they are all fatherless, nor that it's important. Children raised in gay and lesbian relationships are just as happy, statistically, as kids raised by straight couples. Also, plenty of straight couples need to use donor sperm (or eggs) to get pregnant, and nothing precludes a woman with a child or children from dating and marrying then.
@MissPeacock: That was totally a Private Practice storyline recently! A married couple seeking infertility treatment turned out to come from the same sperm donor.
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But at a basic, human level, I appreciate what he's done. I do. I just found out last week that my sweet cousin Andy and his wife are going to have a baby. And the egg was not hers. They're in their early forties, solvent, and are the kindest, most generous people you'd ever be lucky enough to know. Just really fantastic, gentle, hilarious human beans. They've been trying to get pregnant for years, but it just hasn't happened for them.
And a really decent person came along and gave them some of her eggs, and it worked, and now they get to have a family of their own. And the joy it has given them makes me kind of misty just thinking about it.
So yeah, maybe the Ed Houben is a bit strange. And yeah, we all need to be having fewer kids. But man, it's still an AWESOME thing to do for a family. It really is. It's not curing cancer, and it's not creating world peace. But it is bringing just a tiny bit of happiness into the world, and you know? We can always do with more of that.
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*headdesk*
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Call me a pessimistic, east coast liberal skeptic, but I'm also thinking you get something either emotionally, egotistically, or sexually satisfying out of this deal, too.
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One of the men interviewed had been regularly donating - twice a week at €40 a pop for over three years while in college. In the present financial climate it may become an attractive option for many men. Regulation needs to be tightened though to prevent clusters of genetically connected individuals.
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But how hard is it for 46 kids who desperately want a father?
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was born of the Virgin Larry,
and became man.
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