After a month on the lam, former Ed Hardy and FHM model Simone Farrow has been taken into custody on charges of heading a drug ring out her Hollywood apartment. The model, who has also been attempting a pop career under the name Simone Starr™, is accused of internationally trafficking in high grade crystal meth.…

• Precocious-in-the-bad-way tween "designer" Cecilia Cassini, who sells $500 dresses, says she took "like, three" sewing classes, but quit because her teacher was "like, rude." We have a feeling one day soon Cassini will be horribly embarrassed of all this.

Annabelle DeSisto—who appeared on an episode of season two of Jersey Shore in which The Situation booted her from the house after refusing his advances—is speaking out, painting an unflattering portrait of the infamous guido's behind-the-scenes creepiness.

• WWD writes that Angelina Jolie needs to up her style game because Salt had boring clothes. Jolie is failing in her duty to all womankind because, "fashion needs aspirational icons; it always has. Michelle Obama can't do it alone." [WWD]

Miami's annual festival of spray-tan and spandex, otherwise known as swimwear fashion week, packed up its bronzers and stiletto sandals yesterday. While there were some pretty suits, there was also a whole lotta fug.

• Lindsay Lohan is apparently no longer welcome publicity for designers. The ankle-braceleted starlet has been — horrors! — banned from borrowing clothing by most fashion houses, according to one tipster. Lohan has been clothing herself by buying things. [E!]

• Crystal Renn is either too big or too small, say some folks who evidently take an interest in other people's weight. "She is not trying to lose weight at all," says Gary Dakin, her agent. "She fluctuates." [People]

There are numerous Jersey Shore jokes to be made here, but I'll go with this one: If you find yourself faced with one of these, you're definitely got a Situation on your hands. [The Gloss]

• Victoria Beckham got an 18-page spread in the new German Vogue. [FGR]
• Tara Subkoff, now recovered from her brain tumor, says, "I've decided to bring back Imitation Of Christ in its most basic incarnation: easy-to-wear staples with an edge." [Harper'sBazaar]

• An Australian designer told the press that she will not extend her size range beyond an Australian 14 — roughly a U.S. 8 — because to do so would "endorse unhealthy living." Said Rosemary Masic, of label Nevenka: