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All In The Family
New York, 11:29 AM
Wed Dec 2
70 posts in the last 24 hours
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All In The Family |
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.
12/30/08
12/30/08
i'm so glad i spent the day with my boyfriend's family several states over.
12/29/08
On Christmas Eve, my entire family visits my grandparents in Fredericksburg. I have an aunt who is 40 and down on her luck. She just had a baby with a bunch of health problems (things that will require surgery, but aren't really life-threatening), so she is understandably stressed out. Combine this with two other kids from the same no-good alcoholic father and her financial hardship, and she's not exactly jolly. Ever. Well, my mother, who is several years older and married up, was holding my aunt's baby and cooing over him in the other room when I hear my aunt say to her friend on the phone, "Someone's drinking a leeeettle too much, if you know what I mean. I bet she's an alcoholic," obviously referring to my mom, to which my older sister exclaimed, "Oh! She is. She definitely is." Calling my mom an alcoholic in front of me, and hearing it from my sister, made me want to crawl under the table and sob for hours. Merry fucking Christmas.
12/29/08
And my Dad is already asking when we'll be coming back. If we get my truck fixed, I'm not going to tell him for a few weeks.
12/29/08
Everyone turned and looked at me. My grandma asked why I didn't want to hold the baby.
I replied with "I don't like babies."
Everyone gasped.
"How could you not like a baby?"
"I find them annoying and don't like things that might poop on me. It's not this particular baby, I'm just not a fan of babies."
This lead to pretty much no one talking to me for half an hour while they played with the baby. I was fine with this, because I find tetris to be much more stimulating than babies.
Then my other grandma called to say merry christmas and asked when I was going to give her a great grandchild. I said I wasn't sure, because I learned earlier in the night that saying you don't like babies doesn't go over well. Then she responded with, "You don't even have a boyfriend, why are you not trying harder at this?" Thanks grandma. Apparently being a babyless 21 year old is a fate worse than death.
Basically, babies ruin Christmas.
12/29/08
Also, I may be dead inside.
12/29/08
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12/29/08
I guess it means we're lucky.
12/29/08
@Mkp-hearts-NYC: I fear we are the dreaded "Normies." We are like the poster children for the success of the nuclear family. My friends generally don't trust our normalness, and my fiance was totally freaked out when he met us all for the first time and everyone burst into song for grace before dinner. I think it made him seriously question his desire to bind his life to mine.
12/29/08
Stayed at mom's til about 10 pm. Baby cranky, husband pissed.
Slept at nice hotel Xmas Eve. Husband happy, mom pissed because it's not the holidays unless everyone is crammed into her house.
Had an OK Xmas until I got food poisoning and had to stay at mom's house after all. Too delirious to know how everyone else was feeling.
Stayed an extra couple days til I felt normal. Husband pissed. Mom pissed every time I say "food poisoning," as this suggests it was her fault.
Had fight with husband in car ride home.
12/29/08
-Needless to say, if I hear, "so how's married life," one more time, I may lose it. This is only shortly followed by, "Uh-oh, the honeymoon is over."
-One of my aunts got Christmas with Jesus ornaments for my dad and his siblings, which hit some of them really hard--resulting in crying, or not at all--resulting in awkward silence. That was only made more awkward when my grandpa and his partner (there was a messy divorce a long time ago) asked to see what they were and could only respond with, "Well, that's nice."
-We had one family member ask about the babies of the future and my mom shut them down with the assertion that we require genetic workups before procreating.
-***the best** My sister and I picked up a reasonably stylish outfit for my mom that included a pair of trouser style jeans. My mom said the waist was too low and she didn't feel comfortable and wouldn't wear them because she was worried her belly would show (they came to right below the naval) to which my sister responded, "Your underwear comes up another 5 inches, so I don't think you have to worry about that." And I spit out my champ pag nee.
12/30/08
12/29/08
My uncle, upon seeing my new lip piercing said: "So you're quitting school?"
Me: "Um no, why would getting a lip piercing mean I'm quitting school?"
My aunt: "People in the helping professions tend to be fairly liberal."
My cousin: "You're a liberal!? I hate the liberals. I think immigration needs to be banned and I don't believe in gay marriage either. God made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve."
Major face-palm.
12/29/08
Her: "He's a vegetarian you know. What's that all about? What's going on?"
Me: "What does that have to do with anything?"
Her: "I don't know, but why isn't he eating meat?"
Me and my dad: "There are plenty of reasons people become vegetarian..."
Her: "Hmmm, I just don't know."
Like she thinks vegetarianism is a cult that's turned my cousin into an asshole.
12/29/08
12/29/08
12/29/08
I feel like the older you get, the more holidays seem to serve as a reminder of those loved ones who are missing (I know I never thought I'd miss my yearly tree decorating argument with my mom)
12/29/08
12/29/08
12/29/08
It's not as good as her funk dancing aerobics idea from three Christmas's ago, since she danced to James Brown to illustrate that one, but its still pretty good!
12/29/08
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12/29/08
I think I appreciate the holidays more now than i did as a kid. In the past two years, my mom, grandma and uncle have died (did I mention I am only 23?) so I am starting to realize that holidays are precious in a way. I didn't appreciate being able to decorate the tree with my mom until she was gone so now I take no holiday events for granted. Even when certain family members act a little insane (thanks a lot, boxed wine)
12/29/08
12/29/08
I kept trying to stop crying because I was totally bumming my husband out too, but I couldn't help it. I missed my mommy!
Mom, dad, and college-age sib drove down through the horrific weather on the 26th to see me and have at least a little Christmas. (Other two sibs are employed and were too time-crunched.) Because they're awesome.