• Holy fuck: George Clooney, fashion designer?! [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• No: Just a prank pulled by some douchey Italians. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Says Clooney: "This is a hoax. I have no connection whatsoever with any clothing line bearing my name, and more specifically GC Exclusive by George Clooney." Ok,ay well now we know. [Vogue UK]
  
• And how did Vivienne Westwood celebrate Easter? By marching for nuclear disarmament, of course. [Vogue UK]
  
• Whoah: they serve cake every Friday at the H&M design offices?! [WWD]
  
• The Banana Republic green line is, um, literally green. [Nylon]
  
• Nicole Richie is starting a jewelry line. Which is only a bit less offensive than starting a handbag line. [Off The Rack]

• I can't tell if it makes me happy or sad that Topshop is going to be featuring Helmut Newton photos in their stores. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Mazel tov to Saks Fifth Avenue for having the first-ever video catalog. Because now it's easier and more visually exciting to have expensive shit shilled at you! [MediaPost]
• New York Fashion Week: Moving to to the Port Authority, probs. [NYMag]
• Breaking news: Proctor & Gamble just bought Frederic Fekkai. [WSJ]
• India Fashion Week brought all the boys to the yard. [WWD, sub req'd]
• DSquared2: Doing eyewear. [Vogue UK]
• Perry Ellis: Doing a bed and bath line. [MediaPost]
• Versace helicopters! [Chic Report]
• No money for beauty treatments because of the recession? Just wipe some aspirin across your face. [BellaSugar]
• Leaping lizards, Batman! A smiling model! [Sassybella]
• I would actually wear a bra if I had a Twin Peaks Bra. [UPI]

• Celebrity stylist and stylist-cum-celebrity Rachel Zoe is rumored to forbid designers who loan her pieces from loaning them out to competing clients, but Zoe denies so we're gonna give her the benefit of the doubt. [NYP]
  
• "I have high anxiety from having two teenagers who tell me I have no taste. I love them, and even though they insult me, and make fun of me, it is what it is," says Vera Wang. Um, who taught your daughters to talk to their mother that way? [WWD, 4th item]
  
• Dean and Dan Caten, the twin bros who design DSquared, are going to be exclusively styling the America's Next Top Model contestants for cycle 10. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• George Clooney and Julia Roberts will be joining Anna Wintour in chairing the Costume Institute at the Metropolitan Museum of Art's annual gala this year. Oh, so that's why George looks like he's lost so much weight lately? He's Anna-rexing? [Vogue UK]

• Designer Dries van Noten in this month's Details magazine: "David Beckham - he's trying very hard. I'm not so fond of his look, but I think a lot of people consider it extremely stylish. So who am I to say it's unstylish? I'm not a dictator." Aw! [Sassybella]
• Consider this a Jezebel PSA: "There is no such thing as an organic pair of jeans. It's not just about the fabric. It's what happens after you wash it," Mel Matsui, founder of denim line Christopher Blue. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Status property ventures are the new status meals are the new status bags? Giorgio Armani unveiled the residences bearing his name in Dubai yesterday, just after revealing his plans for an Armani hotel and resort in Marrakech. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Fashion Week in Moscow vs. Russian Fashion Week: We'll err on the side of Putin! [WWD, sub req'd]
• Kate Moss to make cameo appearance in British soap opera EastEnders! Report back to us, British Jezzies! [Vogue UK]
• Hans Stern, who created the jewelry line H.Stern, died Friday in Brazil at age 85. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Whoah: Control top thong. [FabSugar]

As Milan winds down, some of our favorite fashion critics [Ou est tu, Robin Givhan?] waxed not-so-poetic on what they've seen over the past few days. Gucci was universally slammed. Marni, Ferragamo, Dsquared, and Missoni got words good, bad, and ugly all thrown at them. The poison pens are out, there, and we're looking forward to the start of Paris Fashion Week on Monday - who shall be Cathy Horyn's next victim? In the meantime, we mourn those slain by Horyn this week.

"[A]nother Gucci glam slam for after dark" "energetic attempt to turn rock chick into rock chic just didn't happen" "pert party dresses and 1960s graphics...just seem so passé" "for people who party harder than they work" "many of her instincts are good" "parade of cute, commercial outfits" —Suzy Menkes, International Herald Tribune

"[A] difficult thing to categorize" "boyish checked shirts, and the odd little cropped biker jacket, including a noticeably good one in black snakeskin" "unrelenting combination of black, white, and a particularly harsh sunflower yellow" "the show was bumpy" "an off moment" —Sarah Mower, Style.com


Marni:
"A dungeon might be more fun than some of Consuelo Castiglioni's sad sacks" "cruelly linear shapes" "take some expensive cotton, print it with a streaky esoteric pattern and then make a shift that's gathered in random places" "If this weren't such a cool label, you'd wonder how much design or thought was involved." "just seemed boring" —Cathy Horyn, The New York Times

"[T]he story of the season" "the colors were a modern art riff" "intriguing example of the Marni duality" "plasticized finishes have lost their shock value" "powerful collection" "interpretation of the new fashion volumes" —Suzy Menkes, International Herald Tribune

"[A] staple formula" "one of the brands upon which Italy's pride as a style leader rests" "Castiglioni took the don't-mess-with-success approach" "easy-on-the-body loose-waisted shifts" "wonky-but-right abstract gathers and tucks" "seen before" "cute petaled cone hats" "didn't seem overly concerned with breaking too much new ground" —Sarah Mower, Style.com


Missoni:
"[F]resh" "sensuous lightness" "terrific tunics and smock dresses" "[o]ccasionally it worked" "hard to see what connected a baby-doll dress of beige silk knit and stone-embroidered chiffon with a mustard tunic of lace-cut cotton" —Cathy Horyn, The New York Times

"[A] friendly-scale line of highly identifiable knits and prints" "a bit of this and a bit of that" "has a place in a sunny holiday setting" "any piece would make a girl stand out at a relaxed party" "Missoni would do better to devise a more intimate way of showing them" —Sarah Mower, Style.com




D-Squared:
"[G]leaning the top notes of a supermarket tabloid and spitting them back to us" "a knucklehead version of Dolce & Gabbana" "popular fashion fantasy of an auto-repair garage" "you might wear at Cannes if your film career was tanking" "Rihanna looked fabulous and the gross guys in the front row grinned their heads off" —Cathy Horyn, The New York Times

"Rihanna...took to the runway for a very believable turn as a top model" "a lot of skin for a 9 a.m. show" "pretty standard stuff" "theme, loosely, was party girls and the grease monkeys who love them" "wasn't all trash and vaudeville" "cheap yet satisfying thrills" —Nicole Phelps, Style.com


Ferragamo:
"[O]n the wild side" "just a whiff of Africa" "sophisticated clothes" "accessories are king" —Suzy Menkes, International Herald Tribune

"[S]eized on the seventies" "hopscotching back through the decades...probably wasn't the best tack" "not without its better moments" "[t]he clothes could stand to be more distinctive" —Nicole Phelps, Style.com