George Clooney Is Not A Fashion Designer

• Holy fuck: George Clooney, fashion designer?! [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• No: Just a prank pulled by some douchey Italians. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Says Clooney: "This is a hoax. I have no connection whatsoever with any clothing line bearing my name, and more specifically GC Exclusive by George Clooney." Ok,ay well now we know. [Vogue UK]
  
• And how did Vivienne Westwood celebrate Easter? By marching for nuclear disarmament, of course. [Vogue UK]
  
• Whoah: they serve cake every Friday at the H&M design offices?! [WWD]
  
• The Banana Republic green line is, um, literally green. [Nylon]
  
• Nicole Richie is starting a jewelry line. Which is only a bit less offensive than starting a handbag line. [Off The Rack]

Rachel Zoe Is Not Very Nice

• Celebrity stylist and stylist-cum-celebrity Rachel Zoe is rumored to forbid designers who loan her pieces from loaning them out to competing clients, but Zoe denies so we're gonna give her the benefit of the doubt. [NYP]
  
• "I have high anxiety from having two teenagers who tell me I have no taste. I love them, and even though they insult me, and make fun of me, it is what it is," says Vera Wang. Um, who taught your daughters to talk to their mother that way? [WWD, 4th item]
  
• Dean and Dan Caten, the twin bros who design DSquared, are going to be exclusively styling the America's Next Top Model contestants for cycle 10. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• George Clooney and Julia Roberts will be joining Anna Wintour in chairing the Costume Institute at the Metropolitan Museum of Art's annual gala this year. Oh, so that's why George looks like he's lost so much weight lately? He's Anna-rexing? [Vogue UK]

Gucci Sucks, Marni Full Of "Sad Sacks": The Critics Speak

As Milan winds down, some of our favorite fashion critics [Ou est tu, Robin Givhan?] waxed not-so-poetic on what they've seen over the past few days. Gucci was universally slammed. Marni, Ferragamo, Dsquared, and Missoni got words good, bad, and ugly all thrown at them. The poison pens are out, there, and we're looking forward to the start of Paris Fashion Week on Monday - who shall be Cathy Horyn's next victim? In the meantime, we mourn those slain by Horyn this week.