After going through over a thousand entries for the dumbest must-get-laid story, we narrowed it down to ten tales of lust and loss. But now the votes are in, and there can be only one winner...

Victor LaValle's account of his two years of (almost) celibacy — alleviated occasionally by phone sex — makes the case that not getting any will drive you crazy. But actual lack of sex may matter less than just plain loneliness.

Last week, we asked readers to share their dumbest "must get laid" stories, resulting in over a thousand different tales of the pursuit of tail. Here are the ten best.

Kit Naylor says she's "55 years old, a spinster long past my sell-by date, no kids — and I haven't had sex in a decade and a half." In her article on Salon, she writes that she could probably score some casual sex, but she wants to be in love — and historically, she's fallen in love with unavailable men. So for the past…