I have the sneaking suspicion that I will watch this and then go have sex, just as Intervention makes me want to drink. I can't be the only one... #sexrehabrecap
I'm not sure why you would find the co-ed aspect of sex rehab difficult to understand. Firstly, you seem to be working on the assumption that SA only involves heterosexual sex, which is ridiculous. Some addicts are straight, some are gay, some are bi and, as the show points out, even masturbation can become problematic.
Secondly, SA has, in some ways, more in common with things like eating disorders than drug or alcohol abuse. A healthy functional adult should still have relationships (including, where appropriate, sexual relationships) just as we all need food to survive. Unlike the substance abuser who simply becomes abstinent for life, the sex addict, like the anorexic, aims eventually for some degree of 'normality' (I hate using that word, but trust that people here know what I mean). This is unbelievably difficult. Anyone who has suffered with any form of addictive or obsessive/compulsive behaviour can tell you that learning moderation is the hardest thing of all. For the sex addict, learning to have normal, non-sexual relationships with other people is vital to their recovery.
@huls: See that's what I thought, it just seems like a lot of preparation for giving head. And I too cannot think of anything else they could be for. #sexrehabrecap
Rich did an earlier interview with the show's other therapist, Jill, where she discusses the co-ed aspect. Apparently there's only one sex-segregated sex-addiction facility in the whole country. Who knew?
@ninles: No need for speculation--the interview I linked gives the reasoning for the integrated program. The relevant quote:
What happens is that the flirting brings up whatever their real issues are: objectifying and sexualizing the opposite sex. Or maybe they’re using that to avoid really being intimate and showing their true colors, because they’re kind of acting out and kind of getting a high off of the sexualizing and the obsessing and the fantasizing. When you see it in action and you call them out on it, they get to admit that they’re doing it, they get to see how they do it, how it shows up in their lives. And it gives the therapist a chance to see how it shows up, as well. And then you get to really go in and do the work and look at what’s underneath and what’s driving it: the fear of really being known, the fear of being intimate in a healthy way, and not sexualizing everything. When people sexualize and objectify, it’s because they don’t really think that they have anything to offer other than their sexuality, and they also have a hard time seeing other people are real human beings: they seem them as objects. It’s actually really helpful when the flirting does happen.#sexrehabrecap
GAWD I wish Dr. Drew was around to figure out who gave me HPV.
In fact, I know a lot of guys that would be interested in being tested for HPV. Are there other ways to detect it in men (especially the non-wart kinds) beyond random growths like this? #sexrehabrecap
@Superrrdupa: 50% of sexually active people have HPV. I think you should just assume you have it (other people have it) and be as safe as possible. #sexrehabrecap
@whoneedslight: Actually, my doctor told me 80% of sexually active people have some form of HPV. So yeah, go ahead and just assume everyone has it and make sure you get regular pap smears. And she also said beyond the obvious growths, or abnormal paps, there's no test for it. #sexrehabrecap
@AlmostDream: Are all these forms ones that appear in the HPV test? I'm surprised that I tested negative when my new ob/gyn tested me.
I'd never been tested, am in my early 30s, have been sexually active and at plenty of times not used protection (with longer-term partners). I fully expected to test positive having heard the same statistics, so was really surprised it was all clear.
Certainly was a relief, and I apparently I don't need a pap smear for 2 years now... #sexrehabrecap
@formergr: If you were indeed exposed, it could be that you had it and it cleared up before you were tested, which is often the case with HPV. #sexrehabrecap
@kkatt: Oh definitely still going (for breast exam and other to look out for any other issues), but I just won't have to have the actual Pap at the exam... #sexrehabrecap
Well, I learned something new, HPV leads to throat and neck cancers. I knew you could get it even with condom use. Now the next question: if one has HPV growth on the uvula, can it be transmitted to one's partner through kissing or oral sex?
I'm going to go do some research and put plastic wrap around everyone!
@ecahill001: Don't know about transmission through kissing, but I do know that it also can cause anal cancer (like Farrah Fawcett had), in addition to neck and throat cancer. #sexrehabrecap
I think it makes sense that this is co-ed. What are these people going to do when they leave an all-male or all-female environment and get back out into the real world? Being able to suppress the addiction in a safe, closed environment is just preparing for reintroduction to the rest of the world. Also, with the way that sexuality and attraction works for some cast members, its obvious that the fix could be obtained in a single sex environment. I would die without touching, though. #sexrehabrecap
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Lizard in the Wires - synthesizer signals suspense! was starred
Lizard in the Wires - synthesizer signals suspense! was unstarred
I'm curious as to how you can keep someone from masturbating. Some (lucky) people can do it just by crossing their legs and flexing their muscles. Are they on camera 24/7? Is there night vision?
And is it really wrong to masturbate? You'd think that would be more of a therapy than having sex with multiple, random strangers. #sexrehabrecap
@Tippi Hedren: Like all addictions, it's not about what you use, it's about the obsession to change the brain chemistry and need to sate the craving. Like drug addicts, sex addicts tend to be thrill seekers and can have trauma relating to sex in their pasts., and they also tend to have other addictions as well. To be addicted to sex (or more often porn), you're not addicted to orgasms or to the sex act, you are just focused on keeping a near constant state of arosal, no matter the cost. Sex addicts sleep with their spouse's friends, they sleep with their best friend's partner, because it's not about who they hurt, it's about curing the craving. Attraction is rarely a cause for sexual arousal in sex addicts, which is why they seem to turn to physical acts to maintain arousal. Some sex addicts don't even focus on having orgasm, just being in a state of sexual arousal at all times. Sexual arousal causes changes in the chemistry of the brain, similar to using drugs, which is what is believed to be the brain state that sex addicts are seeking. And sex addicts seem to need more sex from whomever, and dirtier more profane sex as their brains get "used" to the state of arousal. #sexrehabrecap
@Tippi Hedren: I think I understand what you're saying here- I dislike that we pathologize every aspect of mental health as well, but I think this is a matter of semantics- I dislike the word "addiction" being applied to everything, and really prefer "psychological compulsion", which is what I usually hear in a medical setting. The best description I ever heard for sex addiction, or shopping addiction or really any other addiction without a chemical withdrawal component is that you aren't really treating the addiction- the compulsive behaviors that negatively affect their life, you're treating the emotional damages that causes them to pursue those behaviors.
I.e. sex addiction is not like heroin where you're addicted because you have a physical dependency and you vomit and have seizures and physical pain when you stop, but it IS a compulsion that indicates you have serious problems that need to be addressed in a medical setting. Things that you do that interfere with your ability to have the life that you want are REAL mental health issues.
That being said- I don't think any one is getting any REAL treatment on a reality show. I think Dr. Drew is sincerely interested in people's well-being, but I think he's totally misguided. #sexrehabrecap
@All: these were mostly really interesting and informative comments that explained in a way I hadn't thought of. Thank you.
For the person who implied that I was saying being gay wasn't real: nice try, but no. Being gay isn't an addiction and has nothing to do with this. You were just using a hot button to try to make me look wrong. #sexrehabrecap
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Secondly, SA has, in some ways, more in common with things like eating disorders than drug or alcohol abuse. A healthy functional adult should still have relationships (including, where appropriate, sexual relationships) just as we all need food to survive. Unlike the substance abuser who simply becomes abstinent for life, the sex addict, like the anorexic, aims eventually for some degree of 'normality' (I hate using that word, but trust that people here know what I mean). This is unbelievably difficult. Anyone who has suffered with any form of addictive or obsessive/compulsive behaviour can tell you that learning moderation is the hardest thing of all. For the sex addict, learning to have normal, non-sexual relationships with other people is vital to their recovery.
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i'm pretty sure that's what she had them for because i cannot think of any other reason why she would have them. #sexrehabrecap
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What happens is that the flirting brings up whatever their real issues are: objectifying and sexualizing the opposite sex. Or maybe they’re using that to avoid really being intimate and showing their true colors, because they’re kind of acting out and kind of getting a high off of the sexualizing and the obsessing and the fantasizing. When you see it in action and you call them out on it, they get to admit that they’re doing it, they get to see how they do it, how it shows up in their lives. And it gives the therapist a chance to see how it shows up, as well. And then you get to really go in and do the work and look at what’s underneath and what’s driving it: the fear of really being known, the fear of being intimate in a healthy way, and not sexualizing everything. When people sexualize and objectify, it’s because they don’t really think that they have anything to offer other than their sexuality, and they also have a hard time seeing other people are real human beings: they seem them as objects. It’s actually really helpful when the flirting does happen. #sexrehabrecap
11/02/09
In fact, I know a lot of guys that would be interested in being tested for HPV. Are there other ways to detect it in men (especially the non-wart kinds) beyond random growths like this? #sexrehabrecap
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I'd never been tested, am in my early 30s, have been sexually active and at plenty of times not used protection (with longer-term partners). I fully expected to test positive having heard the same statistics, so was really surprised it was all clear.
Certainly was a relief, and I apparently I don't need a pap smear for 2 years now... #sexrehabrecap
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I'm going to go do some research and put plastic wrap around everyone!
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To Dr. Drew. #sexrehabrecap
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Also, the last video is hilarious and it makes it impossible for me to take their addiction seriously. Sorry dudes.
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I'm also hard pressed to think of a time I gave a BJ, or ate anyone one on hard wood floors. But maybe I'm just not that classy. #sexrehabrecap
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@token_illiterate_commenter: "3 weeks you'd be humpin' the turkey."
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And is it really wrong to masturbate? You'd think that would be more of a therapy than having sex with multiple, random strangers. #sexrehabrecap
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I.e. sex addiction is not like heroin where you're addicted because you have a physical dependency and you vomit and have seizures and physical pain when you stop, but it IS a compulsion that indicates you have serious problems that need to be addressed in a medical setting. Things that you do that interfere with your ability to have the life that you want are REAL mental health issues.
That being said- I don't think any one is getting any REAL treatment on a reality show. I think Dr. Drew is sincerely interested in people's well-being, but I think he's totally misguided. #sexrehabrecap
11/02/09
For the person who implied that I was saying being gay wasn't real: nice try, but no. Being gay isn't an addiction and has nothing to do with this. You were just using a hot button to try to make me look wrong. #sexrehabrecap
08/31/09