[New York, March 29th. Image via Getty]

"Only when couples understand the source can they avoid the mistake, which is thinking any growing distance between them is a relationship problem," Dr. Ruth counsels. In addition to open lines of communication, Dr. Ruth also prescribes naked snuggling. "Even if a couple doesn't feel like making love, they should make an appointment, take their clothes off and climb into bed together. Most of the time this will be enough to get them started," the good Doctor notes.

And speaking of recession sex, there is a super sad personal essay on Nerve.com from Sarah Hepola about a one night stand with a transactional lawyer. She and the lawyer had a steamy night of multiple orgasms, and she did not hear from him again…until several days later, when he sent the following text: "I lost my job this week. I lost all my money in the stock market. I think my mom is seriously ill, and I'm probably moving back to Florida later this week. I don't think we can date right now." Oh. shit. Some of Hepola's friends believed that the guy was lying, but like Sarah, I choose to believe him. How awful!

You guys, there's also this article from Time about how the recession may or may not make you get a divorce, but honestly I need to pull back from this ledge of romantical despair!! To sum it up, basically your unemployed husband is totally going to get obsessed with online porn to distract him from the terror of his real life and then once he's totally broke he'll divorce you, because then you won't get any of his precious money. Or something. Seriously I couldn't get through it without wanting to die. Let's all just look at the nice picture of Dr. Ruth and think happy thoughts instead.

Sexual Recession [Forbes]
How The Financial Crisis Ruined My Love Life [Nerve]
Will the Market Kill Your Marriage? [Time]

Earlier: Dr. Ruth Personally Advises Us On Period Sex

• Remember when Ellen came out and everyone was like, "yeah, we know, but thanks"? Her confirmation that she's the new Cover Girl is kinda like that. [People]
• Our unreasonable dislike of fame whore/hockey player/Vogue intern/fashionisto Sean Avery grows apace. He is now involved with a Bravo reality show. [NY Mag]
• Hey, remember how YA author Lauren Conrad's designing the gowns for the "trophy girls" at next Sunday's Emmy Awards? "'I did green because green [is the] theme for the Emmys this year,' said Conrad, who also mentions using a diamond brooch, signifying the Emmy's 60th anniversary, to accessorize the gown." [FabSugar]
• Model Erin Wasson: "The people with the best style for me are the people that are the poorest. Like, when I go down to Venice beach and I see the homeless, like, I'm like, 'Oh my God, they're pulling out, like, crazy looks and they, like, pulled shit out of like garbage cans." Indeed, moddle. Indeed. [Nylon TV via Fashionista]

• The Dow crisis is — surprise, surprise! — disastrous for retail stocks, too. [WWD]
• Apparently spoiled for models by having a bunch of dolls wear their creations earlier this year, Viktor & Rolf decide not to do a runway show. Speculation is they'll do something weird instead. [Style.com]
• Yup, it's all virtual. [VogueUK]
• Kate Moss was afraid the thief who broke into her car took this two hundred thousand pound diamond ring. But he didn't. He just took a chocolate bar. [The Mirror]
• The verdict is in: rompers and jumpsuits will once again be big for spring. [WWD]
• Also, sequins. [Fashionista]
• Weirdly, Gordon Brown hosts fashion week party. [ElleUK]
• Neighborhoodies is having personalities ("one blogger, writer, artist, or all-around cool person a week") do designs for them. Nerve's Erin Bradley kicks it off with a Dr. Ruth tee. [Neighborhoodies]
• Kicked to the curb by Liz Claiborne, designer Sigrid Olsen turns to art. [WSJ]
• Viv Westwood launches that album she compiled, reveals she's collaborating with robot rockers Queens of the Stone Age. Oh, and apparently she's nice, but we'd heard that.[The Mirror]
• Buyers (and us bloggers!) underwhelmed by NYC Fashion Week. [WWD]
• But! No fewer than five Top Model contestants spotted on the NYC runway. [NY Mag]
• Aww! Luella Bartley had pink and white meringue pigs at her pre-show breakfast! We'll assume no more sinister or insulting implication.[WWD]
• "Veronica Webb turned frosty at the Us Weekly 25 Most Stylish New Yorkers party at Hudson Terrace Friday night when she ran into Gretta Monahan - who replaced her as co-host on Tim Gunn's Guide to Style. A source said, 'They sat right next to each other but Veronica wouldn't even look at her. She's furious she was replaced on the show.'" [Page Six]

Cable Vibrator Commercial Acknowledges That Masturbation Is For Women Of All Ages

• This week started off with a literal bang when ex-Top Model contestant Elyse Sewell was knocked around by her crap of an indie rock boyfriend, Marty Crandall of the Shins.
  
• We also had some rousing and interesting political discussions in the wake of Hillary Clinton's New Hampshire victory.
  
• Dr. Ruth advised us on period sex.
  
• And Dr. Oz advised us on pinworms, the scariest ass-affliction of all.
  
• We also learned the 5,689th reason why Jessica Alba sucks.
  
• But we learned new words this week! Like Mrs. Dranklesworth and arse trinket.
  
• Uh, those fat hookery outfits we tried on at American Apparel were a far cry from trinket town.
  
• But then Slut Machine gave us a good, ol' fashioned American Photoshop diet.
  
• All the way from Vegas! Where SM's blogging about her Adult Entertainment Expo tomfoolery. Look out for her second diary installment later tonight, and read it while you tipple on some Sizzurp, because after this week, we all deserve it.

I don't really remember how I exactly put it, but I mumbled (so as not to alert the other diners what a sicko I am) something about the pros and cons of period sex. 'Cause I don't know about anyone else, but I get crazy horny on my period. Not like the first two days when I'm like all diarrhea and cramping and it's super heavy, but like around day three or four. It can be difficult to talk guys into fucking you then, especially if you don't know them that well. Some dudes just get freaked by it, and don't recognize it for what it is — extra lube.

Anyway, whatever I said didn't faze Dr. Ruth at all. Without missing a beat, she said, "Just use a diaphragm to make it less messy." She cupped her hands up to illustrate, "It will catch it and keep it up there." Then she smiled, looked back down at her book and literally shooed us away with her hands. Best. Dismissal. Ever.

I had my period that day, and had plans to hang out with this dude later that night. We'd made out a few days before, but that was it. No feeling up or anything. But it was obvious that we were gonna bang, 'cause, you know, that's how I do. In the middle of fooling around, I jumped up to pull out my tampon, because I was scared I would come with it in and I have a weird phobia about that. We ended up having sex, but unfortunately, I don't have a diaphragm (even though I love the idea of one, it's so retro-feminist, single gal) so my sheets ended up paying the price for my good time. But I'm seriously thinking about taking Dr. Ruth up on her advice, and getting fitted for a diaphragm, so I don't have to deal with stain-sticking uterine lining from my linens.

Earlier: How About You Don't Ask To Come On My Face On The First Date?
Period Sex: A Do Or A Don't?

• Amy Winehouse's flat was raided yesterday, as part of an investigation that led to the arrest of four men and "has nothing to do with drugs." Plus, Amy is fine, and has not been charged or arrested. Phew! [E!]
  
• But! One of the four men arrested was Blake Fielder-Civil! Amy's husband! He's suspected of trying to fix his upcoming assault trial. Back in September, Blake and a buddy were in a bar fight that ended with bartender James King needing medical attention. Blake and the friend supposedly offered the bartender £200,000 to drop charges against them... Busted! [The Sun]
  
• Nicole Kidman is still upset over her "falsely reported" pregnancy when she was with Tom Cruise — she tells Maire Claire it was actually an ectopic pregnancy. "It was incredibly traumatic for me," she says. [Page Six]

• David Letterman, Jay Leno, Jon Stewart and Conan O'Brien are all supporting the striking Writers Guild members, but Ellen DeGeneres is not. Ellen crossed picket lines on Tuesday to tape her show. She did make a statement saying, "I love my writers." But the buzz is that she treats writers like crap, tsk, tsk! [Page Six]
• Dr. Ruth gave a copy of her book Sex For Dummies to Ivana Trump and fiancé Rossano Rubicondi, who said, "We certainly don't need that." Jeez, we did not need to think about Ivana sex this morning. [Page Six]
• Rosie O'Donnell's talk show talks with MSNBC? Over. Maybe because she'd only commit to one year, maybe because she spilled the beans about the negotiations. Big mouth! [Rush & Molloy, 8th from bottom]
• Shaquille O'Neal's soon-to-be ex-wife has filed papers so she can find out the amount of cash Shaq really rakes in. Because she won't know how much she deserves until she knows how much he's got! [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan left her home in Beverly Hills and was "ambushed" by the sprinklers, which almost got her new boots. OMG! [ET]
• Johnny Depp has purchased a 150-year-old mansion in Somerset, UK. Feel free to daydream about Johnny starring in a romance novel set in a castle nestled in the English countryside for the rest of the day. We'll get you started: It's late, and there's a frosty chill in the air. You're supposed to be picking up a long-lost heirloom. The taxi deposits you on the front steps of a huge chateau. You're about to knock, when you hear a galloping in the mist. Johnny materializes on horseback... [The Sun]