Welcome back To Midweek Madness, in which Heidi Montag calls herself Frankenstein, Britney digs sexual enhancement herbs, Jack Nicholson eats a sandwich and Brad Pitt is forced to wear leather pants. Come on in!

• Madonna has opened a new gym in Mexico City.

Looking at the current plastic surgery-palooza, one can't help but wonder: whatever happened to the Hippocratic oath, anyway?

• The National Enquirer is reporting that John Travolta has been cheating on Kelly Preston for years, "And when the details emerge, he's gonna make Tiger Woods look like a boy scout."

• Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson have reportedly broken off their engagement, eight months after he proposed on stage in Paris.

• In the new issue of U.K. Harper's Bazaar, Megan Fox announces, "I've only been with two men my entire life. My childhood sweetheart and Brian [Austin Green]," not that it's any of our business.

• Despite earlier reports that Heidi Montag's mother was shocked and horrified by her recent plastic surgery, Heidi says, "Actually she was excited for me and she's asking me... for her surgery next." She continues:

"I couldn't have done that," says Heidi Montag's plastic surgeon, Dr. Frank Ryan. "Sitting down there with the wisdom of someone much older and thinking: 'What is it I really need to do to propel my career?'" Tila Tequila disagrees: