• 3 are dead and 12 wounded after a man in Belgium went on a rampage in a daycare center. The suspect is a local man with a history of mental illness. • Ugh: America apparently has its own Joseph Fritzl. A rural Missouri man is facing charges for the murder of at least one of the four children he has fathered with his now-19 year old daughter. • Even Girl Scout cookies are feeling the harsh bite of the recession: due to costs, several kinds of cookies were recently re-sized (which sadly includes thin mints). • A controversial art exhibit in London has been charged with violating decency laws. The project is a "make your own Maddy McCann porn," and encourages visitors to paste images of the missing toddler onto pornographic images. • A pair of lions from the Gaza Zoo were some of the only animals to survive the recent attacks, and are now expecting cubs. • An Iowa woman has been arrested for failure to return a library book. The book in question is valued at $13.95. • Following Pepsi, Starbucks has decided to cash in on the Obama image, with this ad, which copies an Obama video down to the music. • George Anthony, grandfather to murdered toddler Caylee Anthony, is being held on suicide watch, and faces psychiatric evaluation after leaving a five page suicide note in the family car. • A new study has found that out of women who IM their partner, the ones who used the pronoun "I" a lot are happier than those who used "we." • On a recent survey, more than half of the respondents looking after a relative with dementia admitted to mistreating their ward. Most of the reported abuse was verbal, but 3 of the 220 people questioned copped to physical abuse as well. • Pakistani newlyweds Pervez Chachar and Humera Kambo are currently living in the local police headquarters out of fear of their families. Chachar and Kambo were from rival tribes, and Chachar's family believes that they are honor bound to kill his wife. • Mattel Inc is set to introduce several new toys for 2009, including the creepy-sounding "Elmo Tickle Hands." The "hands" are furry red gloves that vibrate and laugh when they touch flesh. • Black students may be preforming better in school this week because of the "Obama effect," a study says. • More change! The Obama administration is expected to reopen the Statue of Liberty's crown to visitors. • Click here to learn 10 random facts about Dr. Seuss stories. • New research has found that drinking three cups of tea a day could slash the risk of breast cancer by 37%. • Feeling overwhelmed? Read this story about Adwai Madual, a single mother of quintuplets, and suddenly your end of the week workload won't seem so bad. • And if that doesn't work, here's a slide show that documents the medical history of circumcision. Did you know only 50% of U.S. males were circumcised in 2008? • And finally, a slide show of the top ten gay movies. Unsurprisingly, "Brokeback Mountain" is number one. • 

• Gwyneth's mom Blythe Danner says Gwyn's marriage is a-ok, despite rumors of a split. “They don’t take pictures together if they can avoid it. It’s a strategy. They don’t want the pandemonium.” [Fox News]

• OMG NOOOOOO: rumor is that Paris Hilton is dating Gerard Butler. First Shanna Moakler, and now this? Say it ain't so, Gerry. Say it ain't so! [ Perez]
• It really sounds like Nicole Kidman is ready to throw in the towel with this whole acting thing. "I have to say I'm not that interested in making films any more," she tells the Telegraph. "I know I'm not meant to say that, but that's where it is for me now. I'm 41 years old and very happy being in Tennessee with my baby and with my husband. I obviously have creative blood in me and it needs to come out in some way but I just don't have that burning desire any more. I'm not saying I'm never going to work again, but I'm at peace with whatever happens, which is a nice place to be at this stage of my life." [Telegraph]
• Aw, Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams are star cross'd lovers! Says a source: "He still loves Rachel and Rachel still loves him, but the timing is off and they can't make each other happy right now." [People]
• Vanessa Hudgens canceled her 20th birthday at Chateau Marmont because she didn't want to come off as a party monster. “She canceled because she didn’t want the bad press because it’s a bar…She could have gotten in though, because they serve dinner as well." [E! Online]
• Pete Wentz, that charmer, has been dishing to Howard Stern about sex with his post-preggers wife. "Wentz revealed everything from how Simpson's body looks post-pregnancy to her bra size and the details of the couple's sex life post-birth…Seaking of the first time he and Ashlee had sex, Wentz said, 'It was the single best sexual encounter I've ever had. We were in the Soho Grand Hotel, and there was a mirror, and I was like, 'Oh my God, you're banging the girl of your dreams and you're watching it right now.'" There's more at MTV.com if you wanna read the entire TMI trainwreck. [MTV]
• Katy Perry is engaged to Travis McCoy of the Gym Class Heroes. We are way too old to really know or care who those people are. [Star]
• Carlos Leon, the father of Madonna's daughter Lourdes, is weighing in on Madge's recent split. "It is a bad situation for both Guy and Madonna and I send them a lot of love and all the children involved. I think it is too early to say if the divorce will make things better or worse for the family." [Perez]
• Jessica Alba will make a cameo on The Office episode that's airing after the Super Bowl. As we noted this morning, Jack Black will also make an appearance on that special ep. Star Studded! [EW]
• After her album of Tom Waits covers was so successful, Scarlett Johansson says she's ready to move on to writing her own material. "It'd be a project that I have to dedicate myself to. I feel like that's something for the future." [ONTD]
• Did you know there's a California Hall of Fame? Well there is! And Dr. Seuss, Jane Fonda, Tom Cruise and Jack Nicholson were all inducted in last night because they embody "the state's spirit of inspiration and innovation." [UPI]
• Apparently Suri Cruise has a "huge vocabulary." Does it already include the words "glib," "Xenu" or "psychotropics"? [People]
• Australian tennis whiz Lleyton Hewitt had a baby boy named Cruz. He totally stole that name from the Beckham brood! [People]
• During a concert in Paris the other night, Enrique Iglesias took crotch shot of himself with fan's camera. We are liking him more and more these days. [Sun]
• John Walsh, the host of America's Most Wanted started hosting the TV show after his six-year-old son was tragically murdered in 1981. His son's murderer has now been identified: according to TMZ, "Police are expected to ID the killer as Ottis Toole, a convicted pedophile who died in prison in 1996." [TMZ]
• Brad Pitt says that despite the fact that he and wife Angie are richer than God, they don't spoil their kids with lavish gifts. "We have gifts, but we try to keep the money spent to a minimum. The rule is that everyone’s got to make something for someone else, you got to put time into it." [The Sun]
• Matthew Broderick says that doing the voices for the main mouse in The Tale Of Despereaux was kinda lonely. "Happy as I am to be in it with [co-stars Sigourney Weaver, Kevin Kline and Dustin Hoffman], they're not there. The challenge is you end up behind a piece of glass with a microphone and a lot of people telling you what to do." [ Mirror]
• Jason Schwartzman is giving away a song from his side project Coconut Records for free. The lil' ditty is called "Microphone" and you can find it here. [Perez]
• Fox Reality Channel is launching a new series called "House Husbands" which is exactly what it sounds like — a show about stay-at-home hubbies whose wives are the breadwinners. "The cast includes Tempestt Bledsoe ("The Cosby Show") and husband Darryl M. Bell ("A Different World"), Jillian Reynolds (formerly Barberie, from "Good Day LA"), her husband Grant and former Los Angeles Dodger Billy Ashley, among others." Sounds…delightfully trashy. [ONTD]
• Kate Hudson cannot stop talking about how she loves-loves-loves being single. This time she's talking about it in In Style, but seriously. We've read about it in every fashion magazine ever. Dear fashion magazine writers: please stop asking Kate Hudson about being single. [People]
• Sad news for Columbo fans: Peter Falk has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and dementia. [People]
• Hilary Duff says that she's a lady who does not dirty dance in smutty nightspots! "I've been accused by the press of giving lap dances at clubs. I mean, little ol' me? It's shocking. People love to believe it. It's way more exciting to talk about than the truth! And they're so descriptive about these lap dances. I don't even know how to do a lap dance!" says the Duffster. The lady doth protest too much! [E! Online]

But it got me to thinking: What other songs could be used as ridiculous pro-choice anthems? The Smiths' "I Started Something I Couldn't Finish"? Or maybe Black Sheep's "The Choice Is Yours"? Earnest no-brainers: Aretha Franklin "Think (Freedom)" Bobby Brown "My Prerogative"

How about these:
Britney Spears "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman"

I'm not a girl,
Not yet a woman.
All I need is time,
A moment that is mine,
While I'm in between.

Got my own mind
I wanna make my own decisions
When it has to
do with my life,
my life
I wanna be the one in control

And oh
Don't cha like the way I roll
And play wit my bushy
Tell me what's on your mind when your tongues in the pussy
Is it marriage?
Baby carriage?
Shit no, on a dime shit is mine

But actually, when I was undergoing an abortion about seven years ago, the radio was on, and, as they were prepping me for the anesthetic, the song that came on was "Sexual Healing." I remember staring up at the water stain on the drop-ceiling thinking, "You have got to be kidding me."

Anti-Abortion Group Using Horton's Message [UPI]