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audience amusements
Posts Tagged “
Dr. Phil
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audience amusements
clips
Paul Janka, John Fitzgerald Page Try To Out-Douche Each Other On Dr. Phil
"Casanova Caveman" Paul Janka and "The Worst Person in the World" John Fitzgerald Page both appeared on Dr. Phil today for a show about men with huge egos. I, for one, would be shocked if either of these 'bags get laid anytime soon — if ever again — because they just let millions of women know just what giant tools they are. Here's the thing: It's not necessarily bad that Janka just wants to get laid, or that Page wants to date a "certain caliber" of women. It's the way they go about it that sucks. Dr. Phil caught Page — a man who complains about the lack of honesty women exhibit in online dating — in a lie about his age. And Janka's whole being is a huge front. The fact that he views sexual relationships as a game, in which he wins (which I guess makes the women he sleeps with the losers?), is insulting. Plus, he admits to eating Clif bars for "player power." Clip above, and after the jump, some priceless audience reaction shots. More »
clips
Coming Up On Dr. Phil: Paul Janka, Caveman Casanova
Dr. Phil has been running commercials for all-new, jaw-dropping episodes coming up in May, and guess who is among the guests? Paul Janka. In a brief 30-second spot, we learn that, while in the Dr. Phil studio, he hit on the show's staff, and that he continues to embrace his inner Neanderthal. "I invoke the idea of a caveman. I take charge and the women like it," he says. Ha! What a douche! After the jump, check out the audience's reactions to his ridiculousness. More »
dirt bag
Britney Gets In Fender Bender
- Britney Spears was involved in a minor car accident Saturday night; no one was injured and no vehicles were damaged. [AP]
- Apparently Brit was in stop and go traffic, driving at about 10 m.p.h. and putting on her makeup before the accident. Brit passed a field sobriety test. [TMZ]
- Dr. Phil is so classy and generous! He allegedly posted bond for one of the cheerleaders arrested for beating a teenage girl on videotape because her grandmother told reporters she didn't have the money to bail her granddaughter out. Of course, that means that Dr. Phil would have "exclusive" rights to her story. [TMZ]
- But wait! It wasn't Dr. Phil but a production assistant from his show. Also known as a scapegoat. [TMZ]
- A source says "It's getting desperate" behind the scenes of Dr. Phil's show. Ya think? [MSNBC]
news roundup
Hillary And Barack Can't Morph Into One Supercandidate, But Wouldn't It Be Cool If They Could?
- Yeah, how do we know when the this fucking nomination process has gone on too long? When the candidates' lives have not only been covered breathlessly in US Weekly, ostensibly dignified magazines like The New Republic have started co-opting their "if they mated" feature. [TNR]
- The Hillary campaign is now pinning its future on an "Electoral vote" strategy, basing her appeal to the conventioneers on the notion that she should win the nomination because she managed to win big states important to winning the electoral vote. Because California is in grave danger of voting for McCain over Obama? [NYT]
- Will her concession to Sinbad re the "sniper fire" mess up her chances? [NY Times]
- Speaking of comedians who are not Sinbad, this little Q&A with Tracey Ullman reminded me how much I missed Dave Chappelle. What's he up to? No performances I can find. [WSJ]
- New York risks losing as many as 20,000 finance jobs. I would be sad, but it's also sort of a "And at long freaking last they came for the bankers, and I didn't say anything because I had already spend much of my twenties unemployed kthanxbai" situation. Also, no industry finds fresh liquidity faster than finance, so, you know, they'll be back. [Reuters]
clips
Dr. Phil Counsels MySpace Addict, Discovers He Has A Profile Of His Own
An engaged couple were on Dr. Phil today to discuss the biggest issue in their relationship: MySpace. The man is a MySpace addict—he has four different profiles for his different "projects"—and was even checking his profile while in the delivery room while his grandchild was being born. But what really bothers his fiancé is that he lists himself as single in his personal info, receives flirty comments and messages from women, and has even cheated on her twice through the networking site. While talking to them, Dr. Phil learned from his producers that he has a MySpace page, too, which was totally news to him. Clip above.
dirt bag
Are The Beckhams Adopting An African Kid?!?!
- Rumor: After his moving visit to Sierra Leone, David and Victoria Beckham are hoping to adopt a baby girl from Africa! Spokesman for the couple: "While they admire people who go through the adoption process, their focus is raising their own three boys." Still! Posh needs a little girl she can dress up, no? [Telegraph]
- Eric Dane has skin cancer. He's on the cover of OK! re: the malignant tissue on his lip, caused by sun damage. More on that in Midweek Madness later today. [Perez Hilton]
- Did Angelina Jolie get pregnant to keep Brad? A source says she was worried he would leave her, so she went to an in vitro specialist. Whatever, OMG twins! [MSNBC]
- As reported yesterday evening, Britney's manager/"friend" Sam Lutfi probably stole from her. [TMZ]
Loose Lips
Jason Biggs is engaged to actress Jenny Mollen. The adorable couple met right before filming the forthcoming My Best Friend's Girl together. • Allison Janney thinks Jamie Lynn Spears should go see Juno, because "It's not pro-life, it's not pro-choice; it's pro-individual... It's [about] having a supportive family who listens." And in other Spears family news, Dr. Phil says he regrets making a public statement about Britney's mental health. We regret that the good "Doctor" continues to make public statements at all. • Has Katie Holmes had it with Scientology? Women's Day is reporting that Katie stormed out of a Scientology meeting and is pissed at Tom for forcing her to make the dud Mad Money. [Us, Us, AP, Dlisted]
Jason Biggs is engaged to actress Jenny Mollen. The adorable couple met right before filming the forthcoming My Best Friend's Girl together. • Allison Janney thinks Jamie Lynn Spears should go see Juno, because "It's not pro-life, it's not pro-choice; it's pro-individual... It's [about] having a supportive family who listens." And in other Spears family news, Dr. Phil says he regrets making a public statement about Britney's mental health. We regret that the good "Doctor" continues to make public statements at all. • Has Katie Holmes had it with Scientology? Women's Day is reporting that Katie stormed out of a Scientology meeting and is pissed at Tom for forcing her to make the dud Mad Money. [Us, Us, AP, Dlisted]
dirt bag
Amy Winehouse Is On Crack
- Diva drug discovery! Before she went to court to support her jailed husband, Amy Winehouse snorted ecstasy, cocaine, and smoked crack. Friends asked her to come out with them and she said, "I'd be useless to you because I've had about six Valium." Wait, what? [Page Six]
- Holy crap and here are pictures — and video of Amy smoking crack. Ugh. [The Sun]
- Britney showed up for her deposition. She testified for two and a half hours, and could come back for another round. Progress! [TMZ]
- "Britney calls the paparazzi before she goes out," says photographer Alison Silva. "We know 15 minutes before she leaves the house. It's all staged." [Page Six]
dirt bag
Lindsay Lohan To See Dead People
- Lindsay Lohan's DUI sentence includes working at a morgue for two 4-hour days. The court designs the program to show the deadly consequences of drunk driving. Think LL can handle a cadaver or two? [ET]
- As mentioned last night, Lily Allen has suffered a miscarriage. [The Sun]
- Your girl Britney Spears had the Kitson store opened for her at 1:30 AM and dropped $10,000 on like, hoodies. [TMZ]
- Hmm, sources are reporting that Britney has multiple personality disorder: When she speaks in a British accent she's "the British Girl" and when she loses the accent, she can't remember anything she did or what happened. Of course, we don't know who these "sources" are, so, you know, grain of salt and all that. [TMZ]
dirt bag
Matthew McConaughey To Be A Majorly Cool Dad
- Matthew McConaughey's girlfriend, model Camilla Alves, is pregnant. These are the eloquent words the actor and surfer dude wrote: "My girlfriend Camila and I made a baby together. Its 3 months growin in her womb and all looks healthy and lively so far. We are stoked and wowed by this miracle of creation." There's more, but you get the point. Also: The kid's gonna be gorgeous. [Us Magazine]
- RIP Brad Renfro, star of flicks like The Client and Apt Pupil. The 25-year-old was found dead in his home yesterday. [TMZ, NY Times]
- Britney Spears was completely naked in a Betsey Johnson store over the weekend, says an employee at the boutique. "Then she disappeared in the dressing room with Adnan for 45 minutes. They were making weird noises. It was disgusting." Uh, maybe he was helping her try on clothes? [Page Six]
clips
Dr. Phil Tells Entertainment Tonight About His Visit With Britney
We know that Britney technically wasn't Dr. Phil's patient — actually, she was reportedly pissed that he showed up to see her during her stay at Cedars Sinai — but what the hell ever happened to doctor-patient confidentiality? His people were pretty quick in issuing press releases regarding his visit, and he sat down with Entertainment Tonight and The Insider for some diffused-lighting interviews on the matter. Supposedly Phil just really wants to help Britney, but we're not entirely convinced that he's acting out of pure altruism, judging by his little publicity tour he's been conducting.
dirt bag
Britney Still Alive; Has Brunch With Paparazzo
- Okay, get ready for this: The UK'sNews Of The World alleges that, the night she ended up in the hospital, Britney Spears took 10 sleeping pills, 12 Vicodins, six Ritalins and 10 Zantacs — and washed them all down with her "purple drank", i.e. vodka, NyQuil and Red Bull. She also supposedly phoned her sister and shouted, "You're not going to be the only fucking Spears on the front cover of a magazine next week!" As for reports that Brit will be on Dr. Phil, a source says, "Based on the interaction between Dr. Phil and Britney . . . it'll be a cold day in hell before Britney goes on his show." [New York Post]
- Doctors at Cedars-Sinai hospital are pissed that Dr. Phil visited Britney in the first place — the patient has to give consent for stuff like that and it was a violation of her rights. [TMZ]
- Dr. Phil says he went to see Britney at the request of one Lynne Spears, her mother. [TMZ]
clips
Kids Who Want To Murder Their Moms Make Us Not Want To Be Moms
A child featured on an episode of Dr. Phil today is basically a living, breathing contraceptive: He's just totally out of control. He throws fits, screams, cries, scratches, scars himself, spits on people, barks for hours at a time, runs to the kitchen for sharp objects when he's upset, and has even threatened his siblings with a butcher knife. Worst of all, he tells his mother on a daily basis that he wants to kill her, and goes into detail, telling her he will eat her carcass. He has been diagnosed as autistic, which surely must make things more complicated, but his disorder doesn't really get him of the hook for the death threats, in our book.
Related: Excessive Tantrums In Preschoolers May Indicate Serious Mental Health Problems [Science Daily]
dirt bag
Pots, Kettles: Britney Serves Mom With Legal Notice Alleging Substance Abuse, Bad Mothering
- Britney Spears classily served her mother Lynne with legal papers in full view of the paparazzi. [TMZ]
- Shocker: Lindsay Lohan had cocaine in her system when she crashed her car last month. [People]
- Legendary NYC restaurant owner (no spring chicken herself!) mistakes a "fumbling" Paul Newman for a common drunk. [PageSix]
- More rumors about the troubled marriage of novelist Salman Rushdie and Top Chef's Padma Lakshmi. [PageSix]
- Michael Jackson defends charges that he takes pills, does not defend charges of total and complete insanity. [Rush&Molloy, 2nd item]
- In case anyone cares, Jacko's ex-wife, Lisa Marie Presley, may be planning to get pregnant. [Rush&Molloy, 5th item]
