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New York, 8:51 AM
Mon Nov 23
18 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #douchebags more →

    Discrimination Against Douchebags Continues

    Douchebags Unite, You Have Nothing To Lose But Your (Gold) Chains

    Nominations: The Ass-Hat, Cat-Call Hall Of Fame

    Get Rid Of Vaginal Odor With Stainless Steel Douche

    Japanese Students Form "Miscarriage Club" • Virginia Madsen Supports Ski-Jumping

    Sarah Haskins Explains The Sheer Evil Of Carl's Jr. Ads

    Spike TV Makes Us Stabby • Woman Arrested For Streaking In IHOP

    "I Suspect That Rather Than Your Boyfriends Being The 'Bad Element' Of Your Past Relationships, In Some Way You Were"

    Dear Models Of The World: Are We All Too Busy Starving Ourselves To Form A Union Already?

    Paul Janka, John Fitzgerald Page Try To Out-Douche Each Other On Dr. Phil

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of hellosunshine hellosunshine
    11/13/09

    In reply to Discrimination Against Douchebags Continues
    Hey Dallas? HINTY HINT HINT. #metrosexuals
     Reply
    hellosunshine was starred hellosunshine was unstarred
    Image of chi-girl chi-girl
    11/13/09

    In reply to Discrimination Against Douchebags Continues
    First they came for the Ed Hardy tees, and I did not speak out—because I eschew graphic prints;
    Then they came for the fake tanners, and I did not speak out—because I was not permanently orange;
    Then they came for the popped collars, and I did not speak out—because I was rockin a hoodie;
    Then they came for the patent leather shoes, and I did not speak out—because I like boat shoes better anyway;
    Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak out for me. #metrosexuals
     Reply
    WashingMyHair promoted this comment chi-girl was starred chi-girl was unstarred
    Image of WashingMyHair WashingMyHair
    11/13/09

    In reply to Discrimination Against Douchebags Continues
    Great, now they'll all be partying at the Jersey Shore this summer. #metrosexuals
     Reply
    WashingMyHair was starred WashingMyHair was unstarred
    Image of funzette funzette
    11/13/09

    In reply to Discrimination Against Douchebags Continues
    Banning douchebags from nightclubs is like banning pandas from bamboo forests - You're forcing them out of their natural environment. I suggest banning them from government, the media, and your pants instead. #metrosexuals
     Reply
    funzette was starred funzette was unstarred
    Image of funzette funzette
    11/13/09


    I am, however, in favor of a douchebag-panda interaction ban at nightclubs.
     Reply
    Edited by funzette at 11/13/09 10:45 AM funzette was starred funzette was unstarred
    Image of mbprice mbprice
    11/13/09

    In reply to Discrimination Against Douchebags Continues
    But the douchebags will adapt! They always have! Shakespearean douchebags were banned from the Globe for wearing ruffled frocks and codpieces. So they turned to doublets and breeches! Then they banned doublets and breeches from St. Peter's Basilica, so they turned to waistcoats and tricorne hats! Then those were banned from the American colonies (except in the Province of New Jersey), so they turned to cravats and trousers!

    Don't you see! The douchebags adapt! They always adapt! #metrosexuals
     Reply
    mbprice was starred mbprice was unstarred
    Image of ElleL ElleL
    11/13/09

    @mbprice: Cockroaches and douchebags, related? #metrosexuals
     Reply
    ElleL was starred ElleL was unstarred
    Image of brokenscope brokenscope
    11/13/09

    @ElleL: Highly related, they might survive the fallout but once there was nothing left to scavenge they would die. #metrosexuals
     Reply
    ElleL promoted this comment brokenscope was starred brokenscope was unstarred
    Image of ElleL ElleL
    11/13/09

    @brokenscope: We can only hope! #metrosexuals
     Reply
    ElleL was starred ElleL was unstarred
    Image of rd2uk rd2uk
    11/13/09

    In reply to Discrimination Against Douchebags Continues
    metrosexuals fight? I may be completly wrong but in my mind its the drunken fat boy/jocks that get into fights? or are those metrosexuals as well? well i suppose many a frat boy are metrosexuals. i dont know! #metrosexuals
     Reply
    rd2uk was starred rd2uk was unstarred
    Image of morninggloria morninggloria
    11/13/09

    In reply to Discrimination Against Douchebags Continues
    ... but without douchebags, how am I supposed to know if my ass is lookin' fine tonight? #metrosexuals
     Reply
    morninggloria was starred morninggloria was unstarred
    Image of hortense hortense
    11/13/09

    @morninggloria: How will I get my recommended exercise in if I haven't been running through a douchebag's mind all day? #metrosexuals
     Reply
    hortense was starred hortense was unstarred
    Image of KingCouth KingCouth
    11/13/09

    @morninggloria: Yeah, and how will I know I need to get to the gym without them reminding me? #metrosexuals
     Reply
    hortense promoted this comment KingCouth was starred KingCouth was unstarred
    Image of MsAnthrope MsAnthrope
    11/13/09

    @hortense: ...how will I know if God is missing an angel? #metrosexuals
     Reply
    hortense promoted this comment MsAnthrope was starred MsAnthrope was unstarred
    Image of Newsgirl Newsgirl
    11/13/09

    @morninggloria: How will I know if there's a mirror in my pocket? #metrosexuals
     Reply
    Newsgirl was starred Newsgirl was unstarred
    Image of morninggloria morninggloria
    11/13/09

    @Newsgirl: How will I know if I'm wearing astronaut pants? #metrosexuals
     Reply
    morninggloria was starred morninggloria was unstarred
    Image of CynicalPink CynicalPink
    11/13/09

    @morninggloria: How will I know if it's time to "get our Goose on?" #metrosexuals
     Reply
    J.D.Regent promoted this comment CynicalPink was starred CynicalPink was unstarred
    Image of Notes from the underwhelmed Notes from the underwhelmed
    11/13/09

    @morninggloria: Um, walk past the McDonalds next to my apartment. The dudes standing outside will let you know. #metrosexuals
     Reply
    Notes from the underwhelmed was starred Notes from the underwhelmed was unstarred
    Image of Notes from the underwhelmed Notes from the underwhelmed
    11/13/09

    @morninggloria: And how will we know if those astronaut pants were washed with Windex? #metrosexuals
     Reply
    Notes from the underwhelmed was starred Notes from the underwhelmed was unstarred
    Image of morninggloria morninggloria
    11/13/09

    @Notes from the underwhelmed: I walked past those dudes one day when my eyes were completely bloodshot due to a bad contact lens situation. I was wearing sweatpants, no makeup, and "ST OLAF BASEBALL" hooded sweatshirt. I looked like ass flourentine.

    They still shouted stuff. #metrosexuals
     Reply
    morninggloria was starred morninggloria was unstarred
    Image of Notes from the underwhelmed Notes from the underwhelmed
    11/13/09

    @morninggloria: Oh yeah. I go grocery shopping in my pajamas and get a standing ovation for my loveliness from them. Someday I'm going to try walking past in curlers. Just to see. #metrosexuals
     Reply
    Notes from the underwhelmed was starred Notes from the underwhelmed was unstarred
    Image of frugal frugal
    11/13/09

    In reply to Discrimination Against Douchebags Continues
    That's douchescrimination! Now, how much do you want for those Spears tickets? #metrosexuals
     Reply
    frugal was starred frugal was unstarred
    Image of telecomic the thoughtful red panda telecomic the thoughtful red panda
    11/13/09

    In reply to Discrimination Against Douchebags Continues
    this word, metrosexuals, I do not think it means what you think it means. #metrosexuals
     Reply
    colormeroutine promoted this comment telecomic the thoughtful red panda was starred telecomic the thoughtful red panda was unstarred
    Image of colormeroutine colormeroutine
    11/13/09

    @telecomic the thoughtful red panda: No self respecting metrosexual would wear ed hardy #metrosexuals
     Reply
    colormeroutine was starred colormeroutine was unstarred
    Image of madeofawesome madeofawesome
    11/13/09

    @colormeroutine: And popped collars are sooooo 2006.

    Also, can we ban "manly" pink shirts? I've had enough of that "irony." And anyway, melon brings out your eyes so much better.
     Reply
    Notes from the underwhelmed promoted this comment Edited by madeofawesome at 11/13/09 10:39 AM madeofawesome was starred madeofawesome was unstarred
    Image of Notes from the underwhelmed Notes from the underwhelmed
    11/13/09

    @madeofawesome: They will always give me traumatic highschool flashbacks. The biggest downside to switching schools was having to read "A Separate Peace" twice. #metrosexuals
     Reply
    Notes from the underwhelmed was starred Notes from the underwhelmed was unstarred
    Image of madeofawesome madeofawesome
    11/13/09

    @Notes from the underwhelmed: Ew. The other day I had to explain the cultural significance/major themes of the book to a bunch of high school kids. I probably single-handedly wrote their essays for them. #metrosexuals
     Reply
    madeofawesome was starred madeofawesome was unstarred
    Image of Notes from the underwhelmed Notes from the underwhelmed
    11/13/09

    @madeofawesome: Stupid tree of life. #metrosexuals
     Reply
    Notes from the underwhelmed was starred Notes from the underwhelmed was unstarred
    Image of Zombies make the heart grow fonder Zombies make the heart grow fonder
    11/13/09

    In reply to Discrimination Against Douchebags Continues
    Cue South Park references from last week...1...2....3... #metrosexuals
     Reply
    Zombies make the heart grow fonder was starred Zombies make the heart grow fonder was unstarred
    Image of IndignationCoordinator IndignationCoordinator
    11/13/09

    In reply to Discrimination Against Douchebags Continues
    "We are really trying to push a party night that is a safe place to go and have a good time without worrying about safety," the 27-year-old said.

    Ain't nothing scarier than a polo shirt with a popped collar. Tuck that bad boy back in and I'm in my safety zone.

    Now if only they can add "snapping fingers and approaching me all Jets-like" to the list of faux pas. #metrosexuals
     Reply
    IndignationCoordinator was starred IndignationCoordinator was unstarred
    Image of GirlFailer GirlFailer
    11/13/09

    In reply to Discrimination Against Douchebags Continues

    But what about over tanned hides? #metrosexuals
     Reply
    GirlFailer was starred GirlFailer was unstarred
    Image of PaigeTurner PaigeTurner
    11/13/09

    @GirlFailer: these just need to be banned. everywhere. #metrosexuals
     Reply
    GirlFailer promoted this comment PaigeTurner was starred PaigeTurner was unstarred
    Image of KaneBaker KaneBaker
    11/13/09

    @GirlFailer: Orangeface has to offend someone. I think Carrot-Americans need to speak out against this. #metrosexuals
     Reply
    GirlFailer promoted this comment KaneBaker was starred KaneBaker was unstarred
    Image of GirlFailer GirlFailer
    11/13/09

    @KaneBaker: Those poor people with excessive vitamin A disease don't deserve this! #metrosexuals
     Reply
    GirlFailer was starred GirlFailer was unstarred
    Image of BetteD BetteD
    10/29/09

    In reply to Douchebags Unite, You Have Nothing To Lose But Your (Gold) Chains
    "Like a fucking...mint"

    Beautiful. #douchebags
     Reply
    BetteD was starred BetteD was unstarred
    Image of salthegeek salthegeek
    10/29/09

    In reply to Douchebags Unite, You Have Nothing To Lose But Your (Gold) Chains
    My school has a big greek community so I see allot of these types of guys. One frat I think has a thing where they call a girl and mess with emotions or something. Hence me calling them the Purplebellies for that (I'll heart any one who gets that reference). #douchebags
     Reply
    salthegeek was starred salthegeek was unstarred
    Image of Mary McCarthyite Mary McCarthyite
    10/29/09

    In reply to Douchebags Unite, You Have Nothing To Lose But Your (Gold) Chains
    Actually the Northeast title of "Guido" is misleading because I know a lot of Greek dudes in Queens who fall under that description. They are in their post-college 20s and all still live with their moms. #douchebags
     Reply
    Mary McCarthyite was starred Mary McCarthyite was unstarred
    Image of clevernamehere clevernamehere
    10/29/09

    @Mary McCarthyite: I think Guido is completely ethnically neutral. You can live with your mom or on your own. You an be unemployed, a builder or a broker. You can be a nice guy or a douche. It's a look, not a value judgement. #douchebags
     Reply
    clevernamehere was starred clevernamehere was unstarred
    Image of booter26 booter26
    10/29/09

    @Mary McCarthyite: I was thinking something along those lines-- that chart really fails to take into the diversity of California douchebaggery. Yes, we have a profusion of SoCal BroCals (actually the least offensive kind of douchebag I know...I barely suspected those guys were douchebags until now! I actually just thought they were called "50% of the guys who live in this city.") The "popped collar" Saguar-bro (who usually live in parts of California that people in the good parts don't really consider California so they even fit the criteria of "Wishing they were from California") is the most scorned of the species around here...and in rural areas, you are sure to come across more than your fair share of Ghetto Rednecks.

    I imagine that the chart purposefully avoided getting "all racial and shit" (you know, unless you consider "Guido" a racial slur, which it um, kinda is), but what about a little shout out to culturally diverse douchebaggery?

    Any culture with a language that includes a word for "stupid idiot" (probs all of them) has a population of douchebags.

    California has, give or take, ~8 million Latino males and it's simply a given that some of them are going to be Pendejos. And the Californian Latino douchebag has several subcategories, with some overarching themes across the board.

    Now, not that there aren't gang- affiliated douchebags, but if you are actually in a gang, then I think you have some credibility to dress, talk, and behave in the manner expected from One Affiliated With an Organization. Wouldn't call a Shriner a douchebag just for wearing his fez and riding a little bike in a parade, would you? You would?! It's for charity, people, charity!! Okay, bad example. My point being it's not the look alone, it's who that's wearing it. Douchebags are inherently posers trying too hard to be something they aren't, and so I would say the quintessential Pendejos of SoCal are 2nd or 3rd generation sons of the large Hispanic Upper-middle class in our area who dress like Guillermo in "Weeds", and threaten to start knife fights in between Honors English and AP Chemistry, leaving their parents bewildered, wondering why generations of their families have worked SO FUCKING HARD SO THEIR SONS COULD DRESS LIKE GANGBANGER TRASH??? And oh, how I cherish the California Persian douchebag penchant, the younger and richer of which are duly noted in Clueless: ("That's the Persian mafia. You can't hang with them unless you have a BMW.") The Persian community of my area does douchebaggery with such flair, I sometimes find myself willfully ignoring both the universal and culturally specific douchebag red flags all together and start threatening my boyfriend that I am going to leave him for my exotic suitor (i.e. the guy who sells me cigarettes and gum at the liquor store down the street). "Don't think I won't do it, Mister! He's a BUSINESS OWNER!!" I'm blinded by all the Gold jewelry. Plus, he knows a guy, owns a dealership. Can help me out if I'm ever in the market for a very expensive car with a prominent logo, like say, that one that he himself owns that he's pointing to outside. Yes, the one with the rims.

    As a disclaimer, I mentioned the only two prominent non-Caucasian communities I am familiar with. I would hate to make uninformed, broad sweeping generalizations about people I've never met. God forbid. That would be completely against the spirit of this original post. ;-) #douchebags
     Reply
    Mary McCarthyite promoted this comment booter26 was starred booter26 was unstarred
    Image of Mary McCarthyite Mary McCarthyite
    10/30/09

    @booter26: Wow. Slow clap! I think you should write an article on this. Or a thesis! #douchebags
     Reply
    Mary McCarthyite was starred Mary McCarthyite was unstarred
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