Match "Rich Guys & Hot Girls" Matchmaker Jeremy Abelson With His Offensive Quotes!

Meet Jeremy Abelson! We met him thanks to the ever-life-affirming Page Six Magazine. (Thanks to also-affirming P6M contributor Josh Stein!) If "Crap Email From A Dude" generally serves to remind you why you made that pledge never to date another bartender/bike messenger/Sad Aging Literary Man, the role of such Douche… »6/23/08 1:00pm6/23/08 1:00pm

Meet Chris, Scruffy British Everydouche. He Interviewed All His Ex-Girlfriends For A Documentary. Turns Out They're Still Scarred!

I am fairly certain Chris Waitt is an incorrigible douchebag but I will pay to see his movie anyway because he has done something horrendously cynical and at once infuriatingly smart/totally obvious, which is to say: he went back and interviewed all his ex-girlfriends to ask why they kept dumping him and made it into… »6/20/08 2:00pm6/20/08 2:00pm

V.S. Naipaul Is Worse Than Mike Cherico And John Fitzgerald Page And Also Norman Mailer

Comrades, there's a new Douche Du Jour in service for your virtual lashings and denunciations: novelist and Nobel laureate V.S. Naipaul! (Just call him "Naipaul Janka"!) Okay, so if you knew who V.S. Naipaul was, you knew he was a jerk. He's an unapologetic racist who fucked whores, beat his mistress, and never gave… »4/08/08 3:30pm4/08/08 3:30pm

What Turned Feminist Author Ben Straight Into A Raging Misogynist? His Book Holds A Clue...

We're getting a better picture of Benjamin Straight, author of yesterday's controversial Portrait of the Female Law Student as a pathetic, fake baguette-toting Carrie Bradshaw idolizing exercise anorexic full of misplaced righteousness and drowning in a whirlpool of media-condoned denial. (Wait, I am making it sound… »2/14/08 2:00pm2/14/08 2:00pm

"I Am A Law School Girl (Snatch, Gunch, Clam, Whisker Biscuit — Pick Your Subject Synonym)..."

"This accounts for some 80% of the gunch at law school," claims a University of Florida law student who goes by the name of Benjamin Straight, before cutting and pasting a charming essay he's composed about a sort of tragic character that, depending upon your point of view, describes either the average "law school… »2/13/08 12:30pm2/13/08 12:30pm

Corey Worthington Is Terribly Sorry He Cannot Apologize For Being Totally Awe$ome

DOOOOD. This 16-year-old Australian kid is the KING OF ALL PARTY$. Maybe u hav heard. How could u NOT? We've gotten like 20,00000.99 emails about Australian Corey Worthington, who through a RAGINNNG kgger and put the video on MySpace!! But his parents got madd :-0 when they returned to descover TWENTY THOUSAND $$$$… »1/16/08 11:30am1/16/08 11:30am

Mike "No Chubbies" Koralchyk: Portrait Of The New American Hyperasshole

Mike Karolchyk owns a place in Denver called the "Anti-gym." (Slogans: "Too chubby, never find a hubby", and "Vanity leads to sanity," and "Have sex with the lights on.") He likes to demean women and smoke a lot of pot. His first gym advertisement featured a model with cum all over her face. The gym itself boasts a… »1/08/08 1:30pm1/08/08 1:30pm