For The Steps:
Albertus Swanepoel, 2008 Fashion Fund Winner, says"I actually believe she should wear a pillbox—the new era of Camelot!" We say: a tad literal, no?


Karl Lagerfeld's suit is way cuter than his gown. And there's something to be said for classic Chanel...


Doo-Ri Chung, 2006's Fashion Fund Winner, says, "The inauguration will be a historic occasion, so I wanted the dress to be something in her comfort zone. I stayed with the tailored, fitted silhouette that she prefers but used a print that I felt was celebratory." We say: srsly? We've seen rocks that felt more celebratory.



May We Suggest...?


Grace Kelly's look from High Society is both chic and whimsical!













For The Ball:


The Good:
How gorgeous is this ethereal Rodarte?


Loving Marc Jacobs' Poiret-esque drape.


Yeah, Peter Som's hitting us over the head with "Jackie O," but still...


This Diane von Furstenberg is lovely. Downside: we really don't want to see Whitney Port at the Inaugural Ball, and you know she'd "need" to be there.


Derek Lam's "nile green crepe" is one of our faves of the bunch: the simple lines and unconventional hue would feel fresh but classic, and he'd still be a fun and surprising choice.



The Bad:
Georgina Chapman and Keren Craig of Marchesa say, "For the ball Michelle should wear this ivory one-shoulder silk crepe column with draped overlay and crystal hand-embroidered bodice." We say: Dynasty much?


We know Barack loves Lincoln, but Zac Posen's Mary Todd is a bit much!


Alexander Wang says: "It's sexy but sophisticated…business in the front, party in the back. It is the inauguration ball!"
We say: Maybe that's why you might want to wear something slightly more fun than a friggin' LBD?!


We dig the drama of Monique Lhuillier's gown, but red? Really? It just feels so...First Lady!


The Not Happening:
The Vena Cava designers, Sophie Buhai and Lisa Mayock, would like to see Michelle rock "this floor-length gown made out of silk and polyester twill in one of our signature prints." We say: with all due respect, we don't think the country's ready for quite that much change.


All the Lacroix sketches are totally absurd, like he knows there's no way she's going to choose them. Still, imagine how impressed the French would be!


Maybe Betsey Johnson should just costume the whole capital, like it's a big George M. Cohan show!


May We Suggest:
If you want to channel 60s, it doesn't get better than Doris Day in Pillow Talk!


Hey, why not?

Michelle Obama: What Should She Wear? [WWD]
Runway to Change [Style.com]

• Pseudo-alt schlockmeisters Urban Outfitters have pulled a tee from their California stores bearing the words "I Support Same Sex Marriage," while presumably continuing to carry shirts that say "Lebowski 08." Urban remains unrepentant. [Racked]
• Can you stand it? Probably: Now you can see the full ten minutes of Karl Lagerfeld's silent treatment of Coco Chanel! [Fashionologie]
• Okay, maybe you can stand that, but what about this: Mariah Carey has selected the fan's dress design that best captures the spirit of her new fragrance, "Luscious Pink!" [ET Online]
• Grateful Dead Converse premiere. University of Vermont rejoices! [Telegraph]
• Still standing? Well, clearly you haven't heard about Nicole Richie's trip to Moscow with the Russian Peaches Geldof! [WWD]

• Wait, what? Conde Nast is launching a new British fashion magazine! You know, those things that are closing all over the world? But you see, this one is called Love, and it's "edgy" and "high-end." Our prayers are with you. [WWD]
• Nigel Barker and his wife have a presumably stunning baby girl, Jasmine. [Us]
• Not shockingly, New York retailers are down. [WWD]
• Sergio Rossi is an economic casualty: they're closing all U.S. stores. [New York]
• Those vibrating mascara brushes are a recession bright spot. Tear-proof formula, we assume! [WSJ]
• Also presumably doing OK, H&M opens its first Israeli store. [WWD]
• Kenneth Cole says his new collection's going to do well, because it's better. Does this translate to fewer smug puns - or more? [Crains]
• New York Times reporter finds the Paul Stuart store a pleasantly classic antidote to outmoded excess. We find our bank balances serve the same salutary function! [New York Times]
• Of her naked romp for CK, Eva Mendes: "I certainly don't consider it modelling." [Telegraph]
• Will Monique Lhuillier be collaborating with Cinta? Or was she just having lunch with the designer? Or are they just good friends?[WWD]
• Some good news! A new report has found fewer creepy chems in perfumes and other personal care fripperies! [USA Today]
• We're liking reports of a new, lower-priced line from Doo.Ri. Let's think more Go! for Target then Moschimo "Cheap and Chic," 'k? [WWD]
  [Image via Support Shirts]

(Click on any image to begin gallery)

Instead, Jenny found a handful of South African tourists, confused by all the hullaballoo, a kind merchandising director named Theo who made sure she photographed both him and his window displays from their best sides, and a surly store manager (name withheld to protect the innocent) who placed her on Gap probation.

Having been tossed out on her ass before for her renegade fashion photography tactics (note to the Prada security guard — Jenny hasn't forgiven or forgotten), she revised her scheme, pulled her favorite items, and took to the dressing room to hide and play dress-up.

Jenny's more detailed timeline, after the jump.

8:53 am - All quiet on the western (store) front. Only 7 minutes until the big shebang, and the employees of The Gap on 42nd Street are still furiously assembling their window displays. Perhaps part of the delay comes from the fact that the window-dressing boy would rather pose for pictures for me then finish hanging the display.

8:55 am - "No, no! Photograph the straight one! The straight one!" Theo, this store's merchandising director (and the coordinator of the last minute window hustle), rushes towards me. He wants the world to know his windows are straight. (Insert obligatory joke here). As he is the nicest employee I come in contact with all morning, the least I can do is indulge him.

9:02 am - "So, are you here for Doo.Ri? Rodarte?" I say to the perturbed-looking women hovering outside the store's entrance. They turn to me in shock, looking like I've asked them how often they practice anal sex. I soon learn that they are tourists from South Africa who have already gone through all their clean clothing. They are anxious to buy new clothes so they can start their day. They have no idea what the CFDA is, nor do they care to learn. They are angry because the store should have opened two minutes ago. They do not want to talk to me anymore.

9:05 am - At last! The doors open! The manager tries to make some sort of speech, welcoming us. It's awkward, because at this point it's just me and the South African tourists. I try to muster some enthusiasm from our meager crowd, and encourage an unnecessary mad-cap dash up the stairs to the second floor, women's wear. And there at the top of the stairs, it greets us: Doo.Ri. Thakoon. Rodarte. All here at The Gap.

9:08 am - There is a moment of panic when no more medium-sized Doo.Ri dresses seem to be around. The floor staff informs us that there are plenty more in the back. During the crisis, however, I befriend Suzanne Donaldson, the Photo Director at Glamour magazine. She tells me she had no idea these items even existed until reading the item in the Times this morning and has been sent to purchase on behalf of several of her co-workers. She thinks the Rodarte pieces are best, and says she fears not about keeping her whites whiter and her brights brighter as she's a self-proclaimed "bleachaholic." The sight of this much white is heaven to her. Suzanne, I'm sure your co-workers thank you for doing the dirty work for them.

9:15 am - Though some employees seem somewhat distracted, this is not the case for the store's manager Phillip. Phillip says he understands "how thrilling all these white shirts are," but informs me that taking photos inside The Gap is a big no-go. My choices? Camera away, or leave the store...

9:16 am - ...or just snatch up my favorite items, hide in the dressing room, and snap away! Here's the before shot: Me in one of my favorite Gap pieces from two seasons back, the giant Boyfriend v-neck sweater. See, Gap, I love you — why don't you love me back?

Now the fashion show begins:

Look One: The Rodarte bow top isn't just cropped, it's cruel. It would be too short for even a slutty four-year old. Fashion-Victim Me is tempted, though, to buy it to prove my street cred. Cheap Me refuses to shell out $78 to be in on the joke. Frugality trumps style, but just this time.

Look Two: Fresh and sleek and smart is Rodarte's high-neck trapeze-shape tunic. Architectural yet wearable: I think I'm in love.

Look Three: I love everything about Thakoon's shirt-waist dress...except for its massive leg-of-mutton sleeves. The seaming in the back, which creates an insta-bustle the moment you tie the sash, is sheer genius. I try to see past the disastrous sleeves, which look like they're eating me alive, but then I realize I can't. That's how big they are.

Look Four: My life-long wish to wake up one day and find myself to have morphed into Charlotte Gainsbourg is actualized the moment I put on Doo.Ri's neck-tie blouse. Magical thinking? Maybe. Magical clothing? Yeah.

Look Five: Doo.Ri's phenomenally full-skirted shirt dress makes me want to go back to the future, become June Cleaver, bake a pie, and seduce the mailman. Duplicitous, it feigns modesty while oozing sex.

Look Six: In a stroke of (self-proclaimed) styling genius, I undo the tie on the Doo.Ri dress, and find myself sheathed in a gorgeous trapeze sheath. If I were Nina Garcia on Project Runway, this look would be endowed with the highest of compliments: It's very modern and very expensive looking.

9:49 am - As I exit the dressing room, I behold a stiletto-clad woman clutching a quilted Chanel bag in one hand and a giant camouflage GQ tote in the other. "Where did that girl go? Where are my dresses? Why aren't you people moving any faster?" The Nasties have arrived, clearly, so I take my cue and proceed to check-out.