donnamartin - Jezebel

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The Many Faces Of Jezebel: Confessions Of A Prude
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Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!
05/20/09

In reply to The Many Faces Of Jezebel: Confessions Of A Prude
I've never really experienced or observed prude shaming. Even when I was a virgin I knew plenty about sex and wasn't opposed to having it, per se, given the right circumstances. It also helped that the average age of first sexual experience among my closest, hottest friends was like 20. Seriously, most just knew boys they liked would be hotter in a few years, and that worrying about pregnancy and STDs would screw them over at exam time.
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kemperboyd
05/19/09

In reply to The Many Faces Of Jezebel: Confessions Of A Prude
The closest I've come to losing mine was two years ago, I was 'seeing' a guy who goes to uni up north, I went to visit we fooled around had a really nice time. I came home and we arranged for him to come and visit soon after. He then phoned 3 days before he as coming to break up with me because of the distance. When I told a close friend about it her response was "you didn't sleep with him, good, dodged a bullit." But I think he was an over all good guy who broke it off for the right reasons.
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MediasBlue
05/19/09

In reply to The Many Faces Of Jezebel: Confessions Of A Prude
Thank you Sadie! I only slept with one person - my boyfriend who is now my husband. And I'm fine with that. And I'm fine with that fact that he had many previous partners.

As many people have said here today - each person makes their own choices and as long as we respect ourselves, who cares?
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Beets.Go.On is the Fat Yogini
05/19/09

In reply to The Many Faces Of Jezebel: Confessions Of A Prude
good for you for staying so true to yourself and not giving in to the social pressures! I have been a sex worker and have been with oodles of people professionally and personally, but I realize that that's what works FOR ME. I don't understand why anyone would mistreat you on account of not being promiscuous. As a friend of mine often says, it's never a bad idea NOT to sleep with someone. You don't wake up with guilt/shame/STIs/babies/etc from NOT sleeping with people.
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Shamrockette
05/19/09

In reply to The Many Faces Of Jezebel: Confessions Of A Prude
I see it like this:

If I don't have that many experiences, who cares? If what I have now is good and I enjoy it, why give it up for something that seems better, but might just be a complete fluke, just for the 'experience'? It doesn't make sense to me.

I admire your choice to do what you want and not listen to people. I'm doing the same thing and I've been ridiculed and poked fun at for being a virgin at age 20. And this crap is from people who lost their virginities at 14 and 15! If that's what they want to do, fine. But I won't judge you for your choices if you won't judge me for mine.

And that's what being a Jezebel is all about: promoting a choice to live the life YOU want to live, whether you want to fuck 1000 people, one person or none at all!
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Ann.in.the.middle
05/19/09

In reply to The Many Faces Of Jezebel: Confessions Of A Prude
Just want to throw this question out there...The general agreement here is that women shouldn't be judged for their choices. If you want to wait until your 22 or save sex for very serious relationships, that's cool. Sleeping around a lot is OK, too.

Question: What if you were dating a guy and find out that he's a 22 year old virgin. Is that OK?
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Shamrockette
05/19/09

@Ann.in.the.middle: My ex was a 22-year-old virgin, and I was a 19-year-old virgin. It didn't affect me, but he "didn't want the pressure" to perform. He didn't really care if he was a virgin or not.
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aureliajones
05/19/09

In reply to The Many Faces Of Jezebel: Confessions Of A Prude
I'm sorry, am I supposed to feel bad for prudes? There is so little prude shaming going on, and so much slut shaming, it's really hard for me to feel bad for prudes.
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hortense
05/19/09

@aureliajones: You should read this again. You're kind of missing the point, I think.
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Susie Bright
05/19/09

In reply to The Many Faces Of Jezebel: Confessions Of A Prude
But Sadie-- Why are you "HURTING WOMEN" ??

Thank you for a much needed wholesome laugh.
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tinydundie42
05/19/09

In reply to The Many Faces Of Jezebel: Confessions Of A Prude
I turn 23 in a couple of days and one of the facets of my recent depression has been that I have never had sex, a kiss, nothing, and only one guy has ever asked me out (four years ago). Thank you so much for this post, Sadie. It's so nice to know that there are a lot of people out there like me.
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That_little_attention_whore
05/19/09

In reply to The Many Faces Of Jezebel: Confessions Of A Prude
Represent!

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Sadie!

I always felt a bit weirdly out of place in this arena. Glad to know I'm not alone.
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MilointheMeadow
05/19/09

In reply to The Many Faces Of Jezebel: Confessions Of A Prude
I've had many partners, positions and subsequent orgasms, but after all these years, I've concluded that sex is pretty overrated. Most of the time, I'd rather just make a bowl of popcorn and comment on Jez.
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Devonna
05/19/09

In reply to The Many Faces Of Jezebel: Confessions Of A Prude
Sadie, I am glad you put this out there. One of the many things I love about Jezebel is it's not some cult of groupthink, especially among the editorial staff.

I always appreciate your posts and thank you for sharing your experiences, be they sexytimes related or not.
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Liz11685
05/19/09

In reply to The Many Faces Of Jezebel: Confessions Of A Prude
I am a 23 year old and have been with my boyfriend for the past 4 years. He is my first real boyfriend, after a string of interested parties that never really materialized into anything. Sometimes I think that I'm not getting the true experience of being young in my 20s because I've only been with one person (he is the only person I've had intercourse with) but I'm also doing what I want.

Also, I got called a slut when I was 18 or 19 because I made out with 3 boys in one night. I couldn't believe that my friend was judging me in that way- so I've seen both sides of this coin. And being called a "prude" or a "slut" both kinda suck.
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SylvanSylph
05/19/09

In reply to The Many Faces Of Jezebel: Confessions Of A Prude
You guys, a very long time ago, at the dawn of Christianity's popularity, women flocked to the burgeoning religion because it allowed them to choose chastity over marriage. And that was a good thing, because before that women would be forced into marrying someone and pretty much performing at his whim. It added another choice. That is, in those few hundred years before it took them all away.

So yeah. The choice to not sleep with anyone if you don't want to is just as much if not more important to feminism than any other choice you could make.
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J.D.Regent
05/19/09

In reply to The Many Faces Of Jezebel: Confessions Of A Prude
The real question is, when did Linda Hirschman lose her virginity? Fess up Linda.
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