David Revealed; Supermodel To Design Spring Line

• Before digesting the latest round of layoffs, garment worker intimidation, stupidly expensive luxury crap, and magazine turmoil, say a hearty Good mornin' to David Beckham in his fancy new Armani underwear ad. Hello David. [People]

Designers Dress Up; Lindsay Wants A Job

• No plain yearbook headshot for this year's CFDA nominees: Jason Wu, Marc Jacobs, Alexander Wang, et al posed for Craig McDean while wearing their own creations. [WWD]
• Leggings impresario Lindsay Lohan is rumored to be seeking a position as Ungaro's "creative consultant." Designer Esteban Cortazar is allegedly spitting pins. [P6]

Kim Kardashian: Not Full-Figured; A Little Offended

• Kim Kardashian is ticked Us used a picture of her alongside a story about Forever 21's just-launched plus-size line. "I love my curves, but curvy and plus-sized are two very different things," Kardashian protested. [PerezHilton]

Naomi Campbell Sobers Up, Puts Down The Crack(Berry)

• Naomi Campbell: "Some people can handle a drink or a line of cocaine, but I've finally come to realize that for me, it's all or nothing — and it has to be nothing." [E! Online]

Michelle Obama Travels The World And All Anyone Cares About Are Her Clothes & Her Color

Anne Hathaway To Model For Marc?

• Could Anne Hathaway be taking Posh's gig as Marc Jacobs' favored campaign model? [Daily Mail]

Donna Karan Gives Cancer Patients New Hope With Yoga

Gwyneth Paltrow Learns, Shares, Looks Great

Why Are The Germans Being So Mean To "Heavy" Heidi Klum?

• German fashionisto: "She's is no runway model. Heidi Klum is simply too heavy and has too big a bust. And she always grins so stupidly. That is not avant-garde - that is commercial." Me-ow! [VogueUK]

Dear Vivienne Westwood: SATC Probably Isn't That Into You

• Vivienne Westwood wants to write the sequel to the Sex and the City movie. Westwood, who critiqued Patricia Field's costumes, is "obsessed" and has allegedly contacted producers and SJP about the scenario. [Telegraph]

Zooey Deschanel Loves Clothes, Channels Fraulein Maria

• Zooey to Topshop: "...you have a choice every day when you put on your clothes to present yourself to the world...Also, my first love was musicals like 'Singing in the Rain' and 'The Sound of Music'." [TopShop]

Katie Holmes As The New Face Of Miu Miu?

• Katie Holmes is the new face of Miu Miu. Srsly? [New York Magazine]
• Marc Jacobs' company has been accused of bribing a state official so the designer "could get a desirable venue for his fashion show." They're paying $1 million in fines. [TMZ]
• In happier news, Marc is open to marriage! Even if California isn't. “I refuse to let anyone tell me who I can and cannot marry, and who I can and cannot love. That’s just bullshit...Wherever we’d have to go. If he’s up for it, I’m up for it.” [New York Magazine]
• Are women overreacting about American Apparel's latest ads? Reverse Cowgirl's Susannah Breslin thinks so. Personally, I just hate leggings as pants! Seriously, we're talking blouses tucked into leggings, kids. [Reverse Cowgirl]
• Jessica Biel is not, we repeat, not, designing handbags for William Rast. [Fashionista via People]

P. Diddy Is No Barack Obama

• Diddy likens himself to Obama. Speaking of his new fragrance, "I Am King," he declares, "When you see Barack Obama, you see a strong, elegant black man and when people see my ad, it's almost like that's the trend." [WSJ]
• "Mr. Obama sometimes wears jeans, as he did for a rally on Oct. 28, but his jeans are the loose, jingle-the-change-in-your-pocket type. He belts them at the waist, and when he wears them with white sneakers and a windbreaker, one could almost say he had stolen the look from Jerry Seinfeld’s character on the television series." — Cathy Horyn. [NY Times]
• Meanwhile, Donna Karan is rarin' to dress Michelle. “It’s not about her clothes, it’s really about who she is, and her passion for children, culture and wellness. I’m hoping to get to work with them — it would be my dream. They are so committed to ideals that are much in alignment with mine.” [WWD]

Fashion Show: Donna Karan

Fashion Show: DKNY

Tom Ford Is Kind Of A Hack, Says Bitchy YSL Successor

• Keeping alive the fashion industry's carefully-cultivated reputation for bitchy pettiness, current Yves Saint Laurent creative director has his former boss Tom Ford in the Times mag: "Tom is talented but not gifted. That's the way he managed the business. Tom would say: 'We can't do this silhouette because she looks fat.' Or, 'Oh, no — women don't like this fabric; we can't use it.' That mentality was something to learn but was so far from my way of thinking." In sum, Ford "didn't challenge women." [WWD]
• How many times does she have to say it? Dita Von Teese is committed to glamor! "People always think I just hang around in jeans or a tracksuit, and I’m like, Well, no. I’m sitting here right now, having just rolled out of bed, wearing a vintage slip. I don’t have any makeup on, my hair is probably a disaster, but that doesn’t mean I’ll put on jeans and a T-shirt because no one’s looking." [BlackBook]
• In one of the oddest collaborations we've run across this week, model Erin Featherston is teaming up with LU Biscuits, described by Fashionista as "the little crackers with chocolate boys on them." We're "collaborating" with a chocolate-chip muffin right now. [Fashionista]

Vogue Brazil Learns Nothing From Vogue Italia

• Obviously, all the models on the cover of Brazilian Vogue — only one of the most racially diverse countries in South America — are Caucasian. [Models.com]
• And speaking of models! The ones at the Emmys (you know, the ones who come out and hand people envelopes) will be sporting Lauren Conrad Collection. [Fashionista]
• Is it just me, or is Mary-Kate Olsen incredibly uninteresting? 'What I find odd though is that a weekly [magazine] will come out describing my outfit as a fashion disaster, while the fashion industry actually respects what I wear," muses the mini-mogul. [ElleUK]
• More from self-described "dirty fairy" and Gwen Stefani sorta-stepdaughter Daisy Lowe: "One of the best lessons my mother ever taught me was not to always rely on designers. Fashion at its best is when it is mixed up. If I had to name a favorite piece, it would probably be an all-in-one sailor striped jumpsuit by Marc by Marc – completely off-key!" Um, good for every under-20-year-old to keep in mind! [New York Magazine]
• Jovovich-Hawk is no more! Milla's non-explanation? 'It's like, When one door closes...I'm in a time of rediscovery, from my career to my personal style.' [Racked]

Is Marc Jacobs Married Or Not!!!???

• Whom to believe?! Page Six? "Marc Jacobs is a newlywed. The designer and his hot Brazilian love, Lorenzo Martone, were married in a civil solidarity pact Sunday in France. "He's totally excited," said an insider. "He said he's head-over-heels in love with Lorenzo. His life is coming together now." Civil solidarity pacts were instituted in France in 1999, but they are not legally binding. Jacobs isn't taking his honeymoon yet - he's busy with his show for New York Fashion Week in September." [Page Six]
• ...or Perez Hilton?! "Despite erroneous reports to the contrary…Sources reveal exclusively to PerezHilton.com that design god Marc Jacobs and his hot new Brazilian boyfriend did not get married in Paris on Sunday. However, insiders close to the couple tell us that M.J. and Lorenzo Martone (pictured above) are "very happy" together." They're both such infallible sources! [Perez Hilton]
• Model Jodie Kidd on being busted for drugs by the tabloids: "I was just someone minding their own business, plodding on in life. They had no need to do it because I'm not a bad person. I was very shocked. It was totally out of the blue," [Telegraph]

Keep Up With The Kardashians!

• Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian are auctioning some stuff, including a Gucci tote, a Dior purse and an Herve Leger dress. A percentage goes to the Dream Foundation, which grants wishes to terminally-ill adults — but the price is high: As People ominously puts it, "Now you can look as good as Kim, Khloe and Kourtney." [People]
• Capitalizing on the key fashionista/teenage boy demographic, Nintendo introduces POP CUTIE!, the "street-style" video game that lets you make like the sartorialist from your own home. "Players will buzz through virtual streets in Tokyo, New York, and Paris picking out their favorite 'trends.'" An insidious plan to force fashion types to put on weight?! [fashionista]
• Finally women's education gets some serious funding: Victoria's Secret goes to college! "VS Pink Collegiate Collection," which cobrands with universities across the country, will carry sweatpants, hoodies, panties, T-shirts and totes and will retail in campus bookstores. [WWD]

The World, Too, Is Bipolar

• Hillary Clinton won't wear Donna Karan anymore because it makes her look too well-dressed. Four words, Hillary: Nancy Pelosi is Speaker. [Times UK]

At Costume Institute Gala, Bad Tries To Triumph Over Good; Fails

God Bless Ridiculous Fashion Folk, Every One Of Them

• God bless Vivienne Westwood for being so undeniably herself. Says the fashion designer-cum-philosopher: "I'd like to do less, but there are people dependent on me now. My thing has always been, just let me finish this pair of trousers and then I can read my book. We've all got to wear something, I suppose. So my advice would be to buy quality. Choose well. I think there's a certain status in seeing someone wearing the same thing over and over again." [Vogue UK]

Tribeca Film Festival: The Stars Dress Up For Robert DeNiro

ELLE Continues To Toy With Nina Garcia's Affections

• The latest on the Nina Garcia saga: If she takes the editor-at-large gig she'll only be there til mid-October, when ELLE's contract with Project Runway ends and then she'll be let go for reals. (Dear Nina: You can do better than that.) Meanwhile, no one at ELLE or its publisher Hachette Filipacchi Media has issued a single comment on the entire situation. [WWD, 1st item]

Woody V. Dov: It's A Battle Of The Lolita-Loving Asian Fetishist Jews!

• Woody Allen is suing American Apparel for $10 million for using his image in its ads without consent. And to think if not for this minor infringement the two seem, well, cut from the same (sweatshop free knit jersey) cloth, if you know what I mean! [WSJ]

Melanie Griffith's Daughter Dakota Is A Big Fat Liar

• Oh look! It's Melanie Griffith and her 17-year-old daughter Dakota, who is a model, entirely on her own merit. Oh what? You would rather have nepotism in charge of some less-influential realm of the public sphere? Hey, look who's on TV talking about the troop surge! So the scandal here is: does Dakota's modeling card lie about her size? [More »

Luke Wilson Golf Wear: What The World Needs Now

• Luke Wilson is "designing" a line of golf products and accessories for Puma. Ah, the insatiable American hunger for the consumption of stuff and celebrity! Or the perception of the insatiability, or whatever. [WWD, sub req'd]

The Fashions At Flawless Were Anything But

Marc Jacobs, The No Country For Old Men Of The CFDA?

• Who will win the Council of Fashion Designers of America's Womenswear Designer of the Year award, the "Best Picture" of fashion? The nominees are: Marc Jacobs, Francisco Costa of Calvin Klein, and Lazaro Hernandez and Jack McCollough of Proenza Schouler (who tied last year with Oscar de la Renta.) Bets? [WWD, sub req'd]

Keith Richards For Louis Vuitton: Old And Leathery

• Keith Richards for Louis Vuitton = Awesome. [WWD, sub req'd]

Miuccia Prada Puts End To Fashion Week Apartheid!

• Designer Miuccia Prada has broken her longstanding ban on black models in fashion shows! At the label's Milan show last night, British model Jourdan Dunn walked the runway and showed those white girls a thing or two. [Oh No They Didn't]

M.I.A. "Owned" New York Fashion Week

• M.I.A. on playing the role of spokesmodel, DJ and popular celeb sighting during NY Fashion Week: "Last year I wasn't let into the Marc Jacobs party and this year I own it!" Ah, groundedness. [Fashion Week Daily]

PETA: Now Targeting Donna Karan

• An incognito PETA operative posing as a style-maven turned up at Donna Karan's Manhattan home on Wednesday; the undercover "agent" was invited in, offered a beverage, and when Donna came home, shoved a portable DVD player with footage of animals being slaughtered alive for their pelts in the designer's face. Said Donna, "I've seen all these [videos], but for me it's just purses and accessories." [Page Six]

Even Fashionistas Rock The Vote

Heidi Klum Makes It Work; Designs For Jordache Jeans

• The facts speak for themselves: Heidi Klum is designing a capsule collection for Jordache, for which she has been modeling over the past year. Think she'll offer hair extensions to cover nipples as well? [WWD, sub req'd]

Naomi Campbell Will Make An Awesome Model Mentor

• British Fashion Council head Harold Tillman wants to start a "Big Sister" program in which old skool supermodels mentor malnourished up-and-coming mannequins. Leading the way in this admirable new endeavor? Naomi Campbell. [Vogue UK]