• Forbes has released the top-earning celebrities over 50, and Oprah is at number one! To put things in perspective, Forbes' Lauren Streib writes:

"Her earnings power is equal to that of the creator of Star Wars and the Material Girl, combined." [Forbes]

• Oprah's O magazine has a power list — with a twist. For example: Venus Williams has "The Power Of Female Strength"; Donna Brazile has "The Power Of Ambition"; Sarah Silverman has "The Power Of Transgression." [Newser]
• Gwyneth Paltrow smells like moth balls. [PopCrunch]
• Michael Phelps was in a three-car accident in Baltimore last night, but he was not injured. A woman in another car was taken to the hospital with head and arm pain. Alcohol was not involved. [TMZ]
• VOM: Heidi Montag says she has 20 to 30 orgasms a day with Spencer Pratt, and claims: "I was never very sexual before I met Spencer. Sex was just something that happened. Now it's something I look forward to every minute of the day… it makes me want to try every new thing, doing it all kinds of ways — indoors, outdoors, upside down." [Page Six]
• Wait, what?!?! "Amy Winehouse has set up a Facebook profile pretending to be her cat as a way of keeping in secret contact with Blake Fielder-Civil… She has created a profile for her pet pussy Shirley and is using it to post messages to Blake at his remote Yorkshire rehab centre." [The Sun]
• "Not only have Jon and Kate Gosselin lost their marriage, they've lost about 7 million viewers since the reality show couple announced their split." [MSNBC]
• Mischa Barton showed up for work with wet hair and a cigarette dangling from her lips, and this paper calls her "messed," "pale and haggard." [NY Post]
• Mariah Carey has pulled out of an appearance on VH1 Storytellers and a concert on the Today show and gone back in the studio as her album has been delayed again. Is she all shook up by Eminem's dis track? [Reuters]
• Sherri Shepherd tried to help Andy Dick find God. "[Andy] said, 'Sherri, can God love someone like me? He needs me, too, Sherri. You ain't the only one who needs a parking space.'" [Gatecrasher]
• Scarlett Johannsson is Brigitte Bardot-inspired in Pete Yorn's new video, and I have three letters for the whole thing: Zzz. [Gatecrasher, JustJared]
• New Moon swoon! Twihards and Team Jacob/Buff Werewolf fans: Video of Taylor Lautner wrestling with Kristen Stewart at the link. [EW]
• Kristen Stewart on Taylor Lautner: "I love that kid. I would do anything for him. I would kill for him, literally." [NY Daily News]
• TMZ has obtained the search warrant used to raid the pharmacy where Dr. Conrad Murray purchased the Propofol that killed Michael Jackson. They're calling it the smoking gun. [TMZ]
• TMZ actually called the manufacturer of Propofol to see what they knew about the case? [TMZ]
• Dr. Conrad Murray says he didn't know about Michael Jackson's "very unusual problems" when he agreed to be his personal doctor, and didn't know what drugs MJ was taking when he accepted the job. [TMZ]
• LaToya Jackson has something to say: "I've been approached to do Dancing With the Stars. The fact of the matter is, I won't be doing it, simply because of the circumstances that [are] going on at the moment. I can't see myself putting myself into there right now, dancing every single day when I'm still trying to find out what exactly happened to my brother." [Access Hollywood]
• LaToya was interviewed while working at AIDS Project Los Angeles, a charity Michael Jackson often helped. She says: "We're doing the best that we can. Everyone has just been going through what they're going through at the moment. It's a very trying time for all of us." [E!]
• Scott Disick is the one who got Kourtney Kardashian pregnant, but you knew that, right? [E!, Page Six]
• Today in bizarre celebrity feuds: Courtney Love vs. The Veronicas. She thinks they stole her clothes; they're calling her a "twat" and "delusional." [Perez]
• For some reason Vanessa Hudgens has haters? But her Bandslam costars say "She's such a sweet person, such a nice girl." So. [E!]
• Whoa: Kate Winslet will star in Mildred Pierce, a miniseries project (possibly for HBO). The 1945 film of the same name won the incomparable Joan Crawford (and her eyebrows) an Oscar. [Variety]
• Aerosmith has canceled its summer tour "with great regret" after frontman Steven Tyler fell from the stage. Quoth he: "I just want to say that I' m plain grateful that I didn't break my neck. In truth, after thousands of live shows, falling off the edge four times ain't too bad." [AP]
• Christie's will conduct a London auction of art and furniture belonging to the late Indian-born film producer Ismail Merchant in October. Merchant, along with James Ivory, made over 40 films including A Room With a View, Howards End and The Remains of the Day. [Reuters]
• Jonathan Demme has walked away from directing a documentary about Bob Marley; last May, Martin Scorsese dropped out of the project. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which recently single celeb wasn't so faithful to her last boyfriend? She'd been sleeping with a big-name hip-hop artist for the last four months of her relationship." [Gatecrasher]
• "It would've been smart to take some time off too, but I'm really glad I did Runaways. If it was Twilight all the time, I would go mad. To just play one character for four years, it's not what I do. I like to have variation. I like to change it up. To live one experience, it would be like I have this weird alter-ego, alternate life, instead of slipping into a character for 6 weeks, sucking it dry, and leaving. It would be like 4 years of living like a fucking psycho person, thinking that I'm like Bella. You know what I mean? It would just be impossible for me. The tabloids would have a lot of crazy shit to say about me in that case." — Kristen Stewart. [EW]
• "[I wasn't] one of the industry kids who they groom on the fucking Disney channel and who do what they are told. [Being a star was like] being strapped to a rocket ship. But some of us weren't built for speed. I was almost overwhelmed by it all. I had this house — not a giant house, but three or four nice rooms, and a jukebox. And it had this laundry room, and I would sit in there with an ashtray that I trusted. It was like the world couldn't get me in the laundry room." — Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder. [Guardian]
• "I was doing the Tyler shuffle and then I zigged when I should have zagged ... and I slipped, and as I live on the edge ... I fell off the edge!" — Steven Tyler, on his accident hat left him with a broken left shoulder and 20 stitches on the back of his head. [People]
• "It's remarkable what a new kidney does to your life. I have no complaints…I'm pretty amazed. I have been working on my stamina." — Natalie Cole, who would love to meet her donor, saying, "I would probably kiss them all over the place." [People]
• "I get a lot of e-mails and photos of people that are dressing like [Don Draper]. That was pretty strange. People will say to me, ‘Oh, I just saw you in a mall.' I guess it's pretty easy. Slick your hair back, put a nice suit on, and you're ready to go." — Jon Hamm. [WWD]

These, incidentally, are the top ten most trafficked posts of the year — not our favorites — and some of them, you'll notice are from last year. The winners in ascending order, and links to the original posts, directly below.


10. Animals and amore:
Adorable Dog Adopts Orphaned Baby Bunnies


9. Extreme breastfeeding:
At What Age Is A Kid Too Old To Breastfeed?


8. Bad fashion:
American Apparel Will Make You Look Like A Fat Hooker


7. Sex and the Shitty:
Extended Sex And The City Trailer: Carrie Gets Jilted! (LOL)


6. Online dating:
New Rule: When 'Dating' Online, Add 20 Years, 100 Lbs. To Your Partner's Profile


5. Reality television :
The Real Housewives Of Atlanta: We Think We Know Who Kim's "Big Papa" Is


4. Making Late-Night Comedy Out of Economic Tragedy:
Wanda Sykes Campaigns For Cabinet Position On Last Night's Leno


3. Ladymag Liars:
The Annotated Guide To Making Faith Hill 'Hot'


2. The election of Barack Obama:
Donna Brazile Is Not Going To The Back Of The Bus


1. Celebrity Photoshopping :
Here's Our Winner! 'Redbook' Shatters Our 'Faith' In Well, Not Publishing, But Maybe God

This is truly a historic night — a moment many of us prayed for, marched for, organized for and some even died for. This is not the end of a journey, but the turning of a major page in American history. […] Throughout his long journey, Obama built a campaign based on three factors: It was inclusive, engaging and empowering. […] Obama planted seeds of hope. He harvested the votes of those who gave up on politics and now America can celebrate this moment. Anything is possible again in America.

While it would have been amazing to see Ms. Brazile covering election night live on CNN, at least we have her clip from the New Yorker panel earlier in the fall. Our first clip was of poor quality (but still went viral!); here's a much better version:

Commentary: America's Historic New Chapter [CNN]
Earlier: Donna Brazile Is Not Going To The Back Of The Bus

• Less than a month until the election, folks, and it's getting really ugly.
• John McCain sounding like a total loon during the debates, calling Obama "That One": ugly.
• Illogical republican strategists yelling at Newsweek for putting a (gasp!) un-retouched photo of Sarah Palin on the cover: ugly!
• Nikki Blonsky kicking Bianca Golden's mom in the vagina at an airport: ugly!
• At least we have the unarguably awesome Sarah Vowell and Donna Brazile to guide us through the ugliness.
• Though they can't really fix the ugly in this mess of the economy... or this Free People catalog.

• Questions about pelvic exams? We're at your cervix.
• Speaking of pelvic exploration, Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist has an endearing and accurate depiction of teen sex.
• Thank jebus it's the weekend. So kick back with a career romance like the young modern you are, and have a fantastic 48 hours with Hortense!

Donna Brazile: "If I Were Running This Campaign" [New Yorker]
Donna's World [New Yorker]

Image via Young Manhattanite

MEGAN: I had a dream the night before last that Dolly Parton was having a three-way with two guys on a helicopter maneuvering to escape enemy fire. And I was watching. What does this say about our psyches?

MOE: That's a rhetorical question right? Good.

MEGAN: Yeah, I don't want to know either

MOE: So let's see. I sort of feel like it's a snow day because Obama's turnout in Indiana actually kept rising after I fell asleep. Also, I'm taking off the rest of the day so there is that. And because I've been watching Fox I've been hearing nothing but "Clinton is going to pull through, she's our girl; she's a working class hero; he's arugula-class Hegel" blah blah so this was really fun. Last night Shep Smith was outright rolling his eyes dramatically at anyone who said she still had a chance.

MEGAN: Shep does a lot of things very dramatically

MOE: Unrelated: Michelle and the persimmon color: hot! I wanted Shep to weigh in on that but he didn't.

MEGAN: I switched channels around 10:30 or so when they did a whole piece on McCain and conservative judges and I couldn't take it anymore.
MEGAN: Yes, actually, I liked the colors of both Michelle's and Hillary's outfits last night. I particularly appreciated Hillary's jewelry choice for once.
MOE: OH I don't notice jewelry because I don't really do jewelry — I'd say because I am trying to do that whole "urbane tomboy aesthetic" thing but actually just because I will lose it — what did it look like?
MEGAN: It was like, simple and silver, rather than a huge chunky thing. Check it out.
MOE: Even Fox & Friends, which this morning was like "It's a big day for Obama, it's a big day for Hillary; it's a big deal for the host of Fox & Friends because it's his birthday..." Uh, happy birthday right wing conspiracy!
MEGAN: Doocey? If you emerged fully formed from the gaping mouth of hell, do you get to call that day your birthday?
MOE: Oh my god right now on Fox News they're blowing their outrage wad on the fact that some American Idol contestant last night didn't remember the words to the Byrds song he was performing. HOW COULD HE NOT REMEMBER THE WORDS TO THAT SONG IT'S LIKE THE FUCKING NATIONAL ANTHEM FOR CHRISSAKE.
MEGAN: Hey, it's no Proud to Be an American.
MOE: AAAAAH
8:45 AM
MEGAN: Sorry, couldn't resist. I didn't watch American Idol because the future of our democracy was at stake or some shit.
MOE: Okay now there are lots of kids on the Fox & Friends. The guy whose birthday it is is Brian. He has a Goodfellas unsinister bad guy face. And now here's Mike Huckabee! And he's chastising Brian for having such a big birthday cake!!! Is this what happens when Fox is temporarily forced to try and clear its viewers' mental caches so they forget how forcefully they've all been claiming things were the way they provably as of yesterday aren't?
MOE: Hey, here's a birthday cake! Here's a folksy governor! Here's some protest music! Kiddies!
MEGAN: Is there a clown?
MOE: Is there a clown...
MEGAN: I know! I was trying to throw you a joke softball.
MEGAN: Have you ever watched all of Obama's surrogates on TV and wonder why they are all so Midwesternly white?
MEGAN: (Sorry, some communications guy just came on MSNBC and he looks like a young Karl Rove only without the red glowing eyes)
MOE: I told you I don't have sound.
MOE: On my other news stations.
MOE: They haven't really had many Obama surrogates on Fox.
MOE: I'm switching to CNBC. Let's see what the market is saying about this.
MEGAN: Ah, ok. Well, they are. It's like they're coming to all of us and being like, no, it's cool, he has white friends. I'm honestly trying to remember a senior campaign official of his or national surrogate who is a person of color.
MOE: Oooh, weird, the first commercial was for something called Salesgenie.com and it is entirely in Mandarin.
MEGAN: Ok, so, the markets have decided that none of us have any money to buy anything anyway? Great.
MEGAN: I mean, in my case it's true, but still.
MOE: That's true I can't think of any black Obama surrogates. I feel like I've seen other minorities but not black surrogates and that's a very salient thing that hasn't been pointed out. I'm thinking this was incredibly calculated and it's entirely to blame for the entire Jeremiah Wright Al Sharpton rage thing. And maybe that is why this Wright scandal didn't cast the terrible "shadow" all the headlines were saying it would cast. Because if there is one thing I have learned recently it's that Boomer Fatigue is not just something White People Like. It's color bline.
MOE: blind
MEGAN: Ok, so, we could talk about something else because I totally have primary fatigue. Hey, look, Putin's buttboy/puppet just got inaugurated in Russian. That's vaguely interesting.

MOE: Sorry I had to get the door
MEGAN: No worries, I just thought you thought Russia was boring. The new guy is cute for a dictator.

MOE: We've discussed how Medvedev was sort of Putin's protege at school, when Putin was a KGB agent...but he was really a narc...I know we've discussed him before. Oh yeah and he's the former chairman of Gazprom. In other news Burma accepted storm aid.
MEGAN: Now just let's hope that the junta can keep their sweaty palms off of it, though I'm not that hopeful on that point.
MOE: Perhaps we should incorporate the sassy exchange from last night's CNN that a reader just implored us to excerpt.

So stop the divisions. Stop trying to split us into these groups,
Paul, because you and I know both know we have been in more campaigns.
We know how Democrats win and to simply suggest that Hillary's coalition
is better than Obama's, Obama's is better than Hillary's — no. We have
a big party, Paul.

BEGALA: That's right.

BRAZILE: Just don't divide me and tell me I cannot stand in
Hillary's camp because I'm black, and I can't stand in Obama's camp
because I'm female. Because I'm both.

BEGALA: That's — Donna -

BRAZILE: And I'm wealthy so I might go with McCain and sit with
Bill Bennett, Paul.

BENNETT: That's funny.

BRAZILE: Don't start with me, baby.

MEGAN: Ooh, by the way, the AP is just now reporting that Hillary loaned herself another $6.4 million in the last month, in addition to the $5 million she never paid back.
MEGAN: Despite the $10 million she raised in 2 hours after Pennsylvania
MOE: Yeah apparently she said something along the lines of, "Forget post-racial, the Clinton argument has become post-rational."
MOE: And then there was that amazing appendage comment.
MEGAN: The appendage comment?
MOE: It's referenced here. Regarding the math. You know: Well, if she manages to reason with all the superdelegates, and wins 72% of the delegates in the remaining races, and engineers some strategy whereby Michigan and Florida take on Obama before the Supreme Court, and Operation Chaos ramps up, then she can still... And then some dude was like "And if my aunt had a male appendage, she'd be my uncle."
MEGAN: Oh, right. Also, Hillary needs 72% or so of the remaining vote to retake the pledged delegate lead including Florida and Michigan, according to MSNBC.

MOE: Is this why we are finding this boring now?
MOE: I mean, he couldn't have had a more negative news week.
MOE: Oh shit, and PEGGY NOONAN WAS RIGHT AGAIN
MEGAN: Obama? I mean, I suppose it could come out that he beat someone or had gay tendencies or something, but barring that, it wasn't a good news week.

MEGAN: But I think the beneficial thing about the 24 hour news cycle is that eventually 95% of people tune out and nothing pundits say matter anyway, which is why most people are just happy to not hear about Reverend Wright anymore.

MOE: One thing I didn't quite understand that I learned from the New York Post is that last night Obama picked up 69 delegates to Hillary's 63, which seemed...uh...a little off. But I don't do math.
MEGAN: In North Carolina?
MEGAN: No, I think that's just wrong.

MEGAN: CNN says Obama picked up 64 in NC and 38 in Indiana, and Hillary got 44 and 41, respectively. I can't do math, but I think the NYP is wrong.
MOE: that's 85 for hillary and 103 for obama
MOE: So yeah
MEGAN: Mere bloggers have proved actualy journalists wrong. The world might need to stop turning on its axis.