In January, neo-fascist real estate golem Donald Trump skipped a Fox News debate to hold a fundraiser for veterans’ causes, which he later said had raised $6 million. Since then, the completely unreasonable media has asked Trump—a man with an extremely loose conception of charitable giving—to account for where those…
This election season, the media has found itself wrapped up in a perpetual cycle of self-loathing and self-adulation. We are, by our own estimation, both acutely to blame for the rise of abandoned roadside ham hock Donald Trump, and unimpeachable public servants, guilty only of doing our job.
The American public has yet again been reminded why the GOP primary resembles a literal fight of the tummy sticks after Marco “Automaton” Rubio apologized on air for insinuating that Donald Trump, a human/Komodo dragon hybrid, has a tiny dick.
At a rally in San Diego last Friday, presumptive GOP nominee Donald Trump, a man who could one day become the first hobgoblin to enter the White House, publicly criticized the judge who ordered all business records relating to the billionaire’s real estate school to be unsealed.
After Trump gave a half-joking sort of non-answer to Bernie Sanders’ request to debate during Jimmy Kimmel Live earlier this week, Trump has finally clarified his answer that “if [Bernie] paid a nice sum for a charity, I would love to [debate]!” The clarification being that Trump, in fact, meant “no.”
For the first time in his life, Donald Trump is a winner. How does he celebrate?
In today’s Tweet Beat, Mario Lopez makes a poor decision, Reese Witherspoon tries to make sense and Lin-Manuel Miranda is his own right hand man,
Donald Trump, a bewildered, golden-helmeted astronaut who’s just landed on this planet from a distant galaxy, wants to debate Bernie Sanders. He will only do so, however, in a giant arena and only if someone pledges millions of dollars to “women’s health issues or something.” Tragically, nobody asked him which ones.
Welp, here it is: Donald Trump, a monument to human hubris crafted out of rotting Spam, has gone from presumptive nominee to actual nominee. Republicans, here is your bed, and we hope you enjoy lying in it.
Heaving carcass Donald Trump’s campaign has been as bad to women as the man himself.
It’s another great day in the presidential campaign of stately hot dog casing Donald Trump, whose spokeswoman accidentally emailed a Politico reporter the inside details about a new plan to attack Hillary Clinton over a very old real estate scandal. Hope Hicks appears to have confused the reporter with a Trump…
In a report released on Wednesday, the State Department inspector general said that Hillary Clinton violated the agency’s rules with her private email server. The report also said that Clinton was not cooperative with the investigation and declined to be interviewed by the auditor. Clinton aides Huma Abedin, Jake…
Just in case you needed a dose of dread to ruin your probably perfectly lovely and/or normal day, presumptive GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump, a man with the hair of a radioactive skunk, will most likely win the Washington state primary.
In a demonstration of optimism, a group of over 450 writers, including Junot Diaz, Stephen King and Cheryl Strayed, released a petition on Tuesday to decry Donald Trump’s candidacy. I guess we can all go home!
As of 3:45 p.m., the Drudge Report was leading with a story about Bill Cosby. “COSBY TO STAND TRIAL IN SEX ASSAULT CASE,” the homepage screamed, underneath a photograph of Bill Cosby speaking as Hillary Clinton clapped approvingly in the background. The implication, of course, is that as long as Clinton stays silent…
Presumptive GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump has generated an unceasing torrent of press attention that some estimate to be worth roughly $2 billion. Yet the central mystery at the very core of his persona—his inscrutable hairdo—has somehow, impossibly, remained unsolved. Until, perhaps, now.
Last week, Donald Trump told Reuters he would have “no problem” speaking with Kim Jong-Un, the fellow follicular innovator he once praised as “pretty amazing.” Unfortunately for Trump, North Korea isn’t sure it can trust a guy who just makes shit up.
On Monday, swollen earthworm gizzard Donald Trump posted a short Instagram video in which interviews with women who allege that former President Bill Clinton assaulted them are spliced together with Hillary Clinton’s laughter, coupled with a question: Is Hillary really protecting women? The ad is exploitive, foul,…
Donald Trump, a piece of shit whose only conviction is that he always deserves to win, has engaged in some truly insane climate change denial on Twitter, writing things like “This very expensive GLOBAL WARMING bullshit has got to stop” and “The concept of global warning was invented by and for the Chinese.” So,…
