Bill Weld Stands By His Comparison of Donald Trump's Immigration Plan to the Holocaust

Former Massachusetts governor Bill Weld has confirmed he is standing by recent comments made earlier this week in which he compared probable Cheeto Donald Trump’s plan to deport undocumented immigrants from the U.S. to Kristallnacht, a historically significant event which took place during the Holocaust.
'No More Oreos' For Chris Christie, Trump Decides
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, who is currently not (wink) being held hostage by Donald Trump, has demonstrated the pitfalls of campaigning with a narcissistic bowl of rotten gazpacho—for example, in addition to everything else that is terrible about Donald Trump, he will also publicly berate you for being…
Trump Dismisses Groping Allegations Against Him, Says Bill Clinton Was Accused of Rape
Donald Trump, still spiraling loudly nearly a week after the New York Times published a story that depicted his dealings with women in a negative light, is now contending that “it’s not the worst things, okay, when you look at what Clinton’s gone through and all the things that he’s done.” My, what a wonderful cast of…
Ivanka Trump, For One, Is Convinced Her Dad Is ‘Not a Groper'
You know what’s bad? When you are so numb to the fact that a pair of chapped lips superglued to a hairball is running for president that you don’t even find it all that weird, at first, that his daughter Ivanka is going around clarifying that said hairball does not “grope” people. But it is weird! America, let us…
Shocking Surprise Twist: Donald Trump and Megyn Kelly Are Fine Now
In a twist no one (everyone) saw coming, Fox anchor Megyn Kelly and blackening scab artfully hiding in your Raisin Bran Donald Trump have patched up their feud. Their soft-focus, zealously cordial interview Tuesday night served to further legitimize Trump and to launch Kelly’s new career as solo host of her own…
Melania Trump Wants You to Know That Donald Trump 'Is Not Hitler'
In a recent interview with DuJuor magazine, Melania Trump has finally assured us all that her husband, presumptive GOP nominee and cryogenically frozen bog man Donald Trump, is “not Hitler.” Okay.
Your Slightly Embarrassing Mexican Tío ¡Jeb! Is BACK
Jeb Bush, an ally so loyal to Mexicans that he has in the past marked “Hispanic” on the census despite being so white that his good American stock dates back to Massachusetts, has rushed to criticize Donald “taco truck” Trump for his extremely stupid Cinco de Mayo tweet, in which Trump posed with a freakin’ taco bowl…
Trump Organization Won't Sue Over Times Story About His Gross Behavior With Women After All
Donald Trump, a horsehair mattress stuffed with molding copies of Hustler, is deeply upset by a New York Times story suggesting he can be sexist and somewhat creepy in his private dealings with women. After petulantly tweeting about the story for a while, then calling CNN to yell about it, he moved on to the part…
Bonkers Breitbart Headline Denounces Bill Kristol as a 'Renegade Jew' For Not Supporting Trump
One of the curious sideshows of this election season has been watching right-wing news site Breitbart topple entirely off the cliff of relative sanity into the roiling fecal sea of open support for Donald Trump. On Sunday, they published a particularly nutty headline denouncing neocon pundit and Weekly Standard editor…
Obama on Trump: Don't Be an Idiot
In a blistering condemnation of Donald Trump’s political platform, President Obama told graduating seniors at Rutgers University to be smart and not dumb on Sunday, NPR reports.
Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin Are Very Much in Love, Thank You
A muralist with either ardently delightful and/or disturbing political fan fiction-related fantasies has created a mural of Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin making out. How aroused are you on a scale of “I didn’t know kissing involved so much staring, also why am I having a panic attack” to “my sexy fun time organs…
Imagine Sarah Palin in the White House
Sarah Palin may soon exchange her current occupation as professional rambler for another more structured job as the second hand to a shouting, shriveled piece of dried mango.
'Don’t You Think My Daughter’s Hot?' Donald Trump Once Reportedly Said of His Biological Child
Donald Trump has never been one for cautious restraint—or any restraint—and a few decades of treating women like pieces of meat while masquerading as a “playboy” is starting to catch up with him.
