Dolly Parton, perfect human announced today that she may be working on a new album soon. Something more upbeat. Dancey. Gay.

In today's Tweet Beat, Carly Rae Jepsen will be rich forever because she knows how to save money, Miley Cyrus is being stalked by the paparazzi via drones and Dolly Parton offers to adopt a dog.

In today's Tweet Beat, Dolly Parton is pleased, Richard Branson wore a tie even though he didn't want to and Sean Hayes has a strong #tbt.

There's not much you can say about a Monday opened by the Supreme Court's Hobby Lobby decision except: Well, balls to THAT. But luckily the deities have blessed us with this magnificent clip of Dolly Parton playing "Yakety Sax," the theme from The Benny Hill Show, on a small, bedazzled saxophone.

For years, a biopic of Dolly Parton has been crawling over broken glass, attempting to escape development hell. Now it's come to our attention that somebody apparently thinks that Scarlett Johansson would be a great choice to play the country music legend. Let me stop you right there, Hollywood: No.

Dolly Parton is putting her California house on the market and it's a steal at 1.39 million. So if you've got that kind of cash laying around, you may want to head over to your nearest real estate agent and place a bid on this house, because this "whimiscally eclectic" (that sounds like a description of a Cirque show…

Dolly Parton alert! Parton appeared on The Tonight Show Tuesday to discuss her world tour, growing up in the South and her famous collection of blonde wigs.

Well, it's not so secret anymore! Appearing on Today this morning, Dolly Parton was asked about the tattoos that were rumored to cover her breasts and arms and she came clean, saying, "I have a few, but they're mostly for my husband."

Jealous much? Don't worry — Burt will be finished sneakin' around with Dolly Parton in plenty of time to provide you with your evening's worth of internet giggles.

In today's Tweet Beat, Gillian Jacobs needs help with a gingerbread emergency, Tyra Banks rocks a long braid and Dolly Parton we love you!

Dolly Parton crashed her car a little bit, but Dolly Parton is okay. I repeat. DOLLY PARTON IS NOT IN DANGER. Ladies and gentlemen, as living, breathing, flesh-and-blooded animals, I realize that you get very upset when Dolly Parton faces any sort of peril—or even mild inconvenience—so I am deeply relieved to tell…

Rapping. The woman who wrote "Jolene," "I Will Always Love You," several dead-baby jams in the early part of her career, and the rhythm of "9 to 5" on her nails, is turning a new musical corner and rapping. In a white afro. On the talk show of a woman who was once among the greatest rappers of her time.

Does it get any better than Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton? Islands in the stream, that is what they are.

On the list of people universally adored, Dolly Parton likely ranks in the top 10. Everyone loves Dolly and there's no wondering as to why — she's talented, down-to-earth, sweet as sugar and progressive. All of these ingredients add up to an extremely well-liked person and they're also why Parton makes such a perfect…

Someone took a 45 rpm record of Dolly singing Jolene — her famous track about a woman who steals her man just because she can — and slowed it to 33 rpm. Doesn't it sound like something that could be on a Breaking Bad soundtrack? Or am I just obsessed? Or both?

Boston's Kiss FM has cancelled a contest to get a picture backstage with Taylor Swift because the winner was a "creepy" 39-year-old man named Charles who intended to troll Swift after securing his victory with the help of 4chan, Reddit and spambot votes. Earlier this month, someone posted on behalf of ol' Chuck:

The CMA Vault, which includes one of the world's largest privately owned Dolly Parton Collections, is on display during the 2013 CMA Music Festival at the Music City Convention Center on June 5, 2013 in Nashville, Tennessee.