• Lindsay Lohan is speaking out about her dad. "I hate him so much," she told Gossip Cop. And:

"My father knows nothing other than how to sell stories for money instead of getting a real job like normal people do, including myself." [MSNBC via Gossip Cop]

• Dina Lohan called TMZ last night and said that Michael Lohan releasing these old phone conversations is "so hurtful" and that for him to use a moment of weakness of his own child is "inconceivable." She also said that all of the calls were before Lindsay went to Cirque Lodge for rehab, and that Lindsay thinks that the whole situation is sad. Dina pointed out that she was a victim of domestic abuse when she was married to Michael, and for her to see him hurting her daughter is "unforgivable." [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, there's new phone recording audio on Radar, courtesy of Michael Lohan. Dina says of Lindsay: "Time is running out with this kid." [Radar Online]
• For the love of blond. WHY? Why is Al Roker going to interview Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt again? As you may recall, Al talked to the two in June — video here — and afterward, Heidi accused him of sexism, when really he was treating them BOTH as vacuous nincompoops. Because they are. Gah. [Us]
• Lou Dobbs quit CNN abruptly last night. [NY Post]
• The Perry-Brands — Katy and Russell — have "secretly" recorded a duet of Edward Lear's 1871 poem The Owl And The Pussycat. Russell's part goes, "'Oh lovely Pussy! Oh Pussy my love, what a beautiful Pussy you are." A "source" says: "They often use the nicknames Owl and Pussycat. Russell is 'Owl' because he's wise and, well, it's fairly obvious that Katy's a sex kitten, isn't it?" [The Sun]
• Carrie Prejean was on Larry King Live last night, and when Larry King asked about her settlement with Miss California USA, she unplugged her mic and threatened to walk off the show. Her haughty self-righteousness makes me want to scream. [TMZ]
• Carrie Prejean's ex-boyfriend says that she called him last week and tried to get him to lie and say she was 17 when she shot her "solo sex tape." Maybe she was hoping it wouldn't get released if she was a minor? In any case, she was 20 when the footage was shot. [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin is accusing TLC of violating child labor laws. He also claims that during filming, TLC wouldn't let him take pictures at home… meaning he "could not photograph or record his own family moments and hallmark events in his family's life." [Radar Online]
• Tara Reid has a German internet entrepreneur/billionaire boyfriend, to whom she may or may not be engaged. She is currently wearing a "massive" pink diamond ring and "was overheard" talking about her engagement. The ring is here, and it is indeed a whopper. [Daily telegraph, via E!]
• Mike Tyson has been detained on suspicion of battery after an incident and LAX — involving paparazzi. Few details at the moment, stay tuned. [USA Today]
• Oh wait here we go: Mike Tyson and a photographer made citizen's arrests of one another! The snapper was taking his picture in the terminal, and Mike allegedly punched the guy in the face with one hand, knocking him to the ground. The photographer suffered a laceration to the forehead and went to the hospital; Mike was booked at a nearby LAPD station and then released. He'd been traveling with his wife and 10-month-old baby. His rep says: "Mr. Tyson did absolutely nothing wrong, he was the victim in this case." [People]
• Susan Boyle has a stalker, "a middle-aged American woman who has become obsessed with her." Or maybe she dreamed a dream? [The Sun]
• Taylor Swift was named the Country Music Awards entertainer of the year and won all four awards for which she was nominated. [NY Daily News]
• Meryl Streep to a 9-year-old reporter: "That's the most sophisticated question that anyone in this entire press line has asked me. Really, really good." [Page Six]
• If you are interested in stalking Jared Leto, this list of his favorite places in New York should make the job a lot easier. [BlackBook]
• Ron Livingston and Rosemarie DeWitt were married November 2 in San Francisco. [People]
• Ashley Jensen, aka Christina on Ugly Betty, Maggie on Extras and Olivia on Accidentally On Purpose, has given birth to a son, Francis Jonathan Beesley — whose nickname is "Frankie Jack." [People]
• Eddie Murphy has had a long-term effect on ad agency diversity, and this piece explains how. It's kind of awesome. [Ad Age]
• Back in June, Gene Simmons said that coming out would ruin Adam Lambert's career; now Glambert is calling Gene "obnoxious" and a "hypocrite," adding "He's not the greatest singer. He's a good businessman, I'll give him that." [Gatecrasher via Rolling Stone]
• Joss Whedon's Dollhouse: Cancelled. [NY Daily News]
• Jay Leno's new show has "limp" ratings; David Letterman's ratings remain strong despite his scandal. [NY Daily News]
• The late Dominick Dunne outs himself in his autobiographical novel, which comes out December 15. The main character is "deep in the closet." Earlier this year, Dunne told the Times of London: "I call myself a closeted bisexual celibate… That's just the way I am. At 83, it's too late to start on a new path." [Page Six]
• Rumor has it Marc Christian, the lover of Hollywood icon Rock Hudson, has died of a drug overdose. More info to come, hopefully. [Michael Musto]
• "My grandmother once told me, you should be honest with your kids, but you don't bare your soul to them." — Jon Gosselin. [NY Post]
• "I used to drink an awful lot of coffee, but I was told after the age of 40 you have to be careful with coffee and wine. Apparently, that can be one of the reasons older women get bloated around their stomach… I don't miss having a glass of wine because I've switched to vodka. I don't really like vodka that much but if I'm at a party I have a small one with a lot of fizzy water and a huge squeeze of lime. Initially it's like medicine but I've got used to it now." — Liz Hurley. [Daily Mail]
• "I always said in my life that when it doesn't feel joyous any more, then it will be time to quit. But the joy is getting better and better." — Clarence Clemons, 67, who still tours with Bruce Springsteen and the E street band, though both knees have been replaced and he spent a long time in a wheelchair. He also says: "I'll be 70 years old in a couple of years. I don't know how much energy I'll have left. That energy, I want to spend with my family. [But] I really believe that this is something that is going to go on forever. When I say `retiring,' I don't mean `stop playing music.'" [AP]
• "At school when a teacher asked me a question I would almost pass out. I was terrible and I still can be. It overwhelms me. I can be having dinner with people and I find I can't say a word. So being an actress is kind of masochistic." — French bombshell Eva Green is super shy and hates being the center of attention. [Daily Express]
• "I was at a movie and a woman was whispering to a man the entire time what was going on-like 'Oh, he's walking through the door now, look, he's doing this, he's doing that.' And I got so mad that as they were rolling credits, I turned around and said, 'Thank you for the ongoing commentary.' And the guy said, 'I'm blind!' and I said, 'Well, then, sit in the back.' My friend who I was with was mortified. I don't know where that came from — my Sue Sylvester came streaming out. I'm telling a blind woman she can't sit up here with the rest of us who can see." — Jane Lynch. [Double X]
• "Everybody bitches about everything." — Stephen King, on the Internet. [Page Six]

• Kylie Minogue was in Jean Paul Gaultier's front row yesterday because she's looking for outfits for her American tour, which kicks off in October. Might we suggest this? [Elle UK]

• In the 1930s aesthetic of some of the couture shows — especially Gaultier's — some observers see the influence of our current economic crisis. We'd argue that anyone who saw Jean Paul Gaultier's crocodile overalls and furs and thought "This is the new frugality!" is blind, but whatever. [Reuters]
• Marc Jacobs is extending his reach in the West Village of Manhattan. The designer already has five stores in a radius of as many blocks, but he still expects to open a sixth in the neighborhood next February. The space, at the corner of Bleecker and West 11th Sts., has been occupied by the Biography Book Shop for over 20 years. "The space is now worth eight times what the Biography Book Shop was paying," said building owner Alexander Brodsky, who added that Marc Jacobs would be paying more than $400/sq. ft. The fate of the book store is unknown. [WWD]
• And here's Jacobs on those bunny ears Madonna wore to the Met ball, which she also sports in the fall Louis Vuitton ad campaign: "There's a girl who works for us, Lucy, she's on the design team, and Adrian, one of the boys, was tying a little bit of fabric around and it reminded me of bunny. We were thinking of all these different things like can-can dancers, and I saw this piece of fabric wrapped around Lucy's head and said, 'Bunny ears, that's what we need to finish this look.' So we made all these radzimir bunny ears and that's how it happened. I like the kind of Playboy, French coquette aspect to it." Jacobs also referred obliquely to the extensive use of Photoshop — "The solarization that they're doing to the pictures is going to give a really dramatic effect" — and confirmed that the painter Tamara de Lempicka had been a reference. [Fashionologie]
• Celebrity fashion lines are not faring well in the market downturn. A round-up of those that have closed: Mandy Moore's Mblem, Heidi Montag's Heidiwood, and Jennifer Lopez's Sweetface and JLO by Jennifer Lopez. Paris Hilton also closed her unsuccessful line with Dollhouse, and Lauren Conrad put her clothing line "on hiatus" (although she did hit back with a lower-priced range for Kohl's). Interestingly, lines where the celeb doesn't have the star branding role — Justin Timberlake's William Rast, Gwen Stefani's L.A.M.B., Jay-Z's Rocawear — are proving more resilient. [WWD]
• That doesn't mean fashion houses don't still believe celebs can move product. Marion Cotillard is in another new ad for Dior's Lady Dior handbag. [GlamChic]
• Diane von Furstenberg totally wishes Brüno had crashed one of her shows. [WWD]
• New York bumped into prominent couture consumer Daphne Guinness on the street, and asked her about her outfit. Guinness was wearing a fitted black dress by L'Wren Scott, black scarves, asymmetrical cat-eyed sunglasses, and 7" red platform Mary-Jane heels. [The Cut]
• An exhibit at the Museum at FIT, which opened Tuesday, explores fashion's relationship with politics. Included is everything from white suits worn by suffragettes to Jean-Charles de Castelbajac's sequined dress with Obama's face. Of course, also still open at the Museum at FIT is the Isabel Toledo retrospective that features Michelle Obama's inauguration day outfit. [WWD]
• We've officially found the limits of Mrs. Obama's fashion appeal: Russia, apparently, is immune to the charms of her sheath dresses and belts. "Her clothes are modest and neutral," said local designer Denis Simachev. A Russian fashion historian attributed the cool reaction to a difference in taste, the Russian being somewhat more outré: "A lot of Russians think that when something shines, it's beautiful." [WWD]
• Meanwhile, the White House is locked in a war of words with an Italian luxury goods brand over a clutch purse. VBH claims that Michelle Obama carried its black crocodile envelope clutch, sticker price $5,950, during a meet-and-greet with President Medvedev and his wife Svetlana. The White House says the purse was a black patent clutch that cost $875. Please let the Obamas not be stupid enough to lie about something so minor and so easily disproven. [NYDN]
• Everybody's favorite pervy photographer, Terry Richardson, is being immortalized in a 7.5" action figure. [Slamxhype]
• The Wall Street Journal road-tested some vegan shoes, and found that faux leather and suede are getting realer looking by the minute. Pity two of their four offerings cost over $150, and one costs over $1,200. [WSJ]
• Isaac Mizrahi curated a summer show at the Julie Saul Gallery in Chelsea, which opens tonight. The busy designer modestly says the principal theme is just "work I like by people I like," but Mizrahi goes on to explain how his famous sense of color has been informed by his favorite artists over the years. "Every time I think about color I refer to Julia Sherman," says Mizrahi. "Those Julia Sherman reds next to pale, pale pink, my Spring collection is going to be all about that. I feel like people are really open to color now. When I launched in ‘87 and I did super-bright colors, they loved it, but they didn't buy it. They'd shoot it, they'd laud it, but they'd wind up buying black. I'm talking about New York, now. The South is a different story-that's always been a haven for me. But here in the city, these days-it's nuts, color is what flies off the rack. My own line, and Liz Claiborne, too. More color sells better."
  [Style.com]
• Shoe designer Jimmy Choo says you should wash your feet in warm, salted water every night before you go to bed. Also he says that Malaysia is beautiful and you should visit. [Daily Mail]
• In case you're not already reading BryanBoy, plus Susie Bubble, the Sartorialist, Jak & Jil, and Fashion Toast, here are a few reasons why you might want to.
  [TDB]
• Once upon a time, Kira Plastinina was just another teenaged Russian orange juice heiress with a love for pink clothes. Then Kira wanted a fashion chain, so her dad bought her one. The stores did well enough in her home country and in Ukraine, but Plastinina had her her eyes set on a higher prize: the American market. So her dad agreed to pay for Kira Plastinina stores all over the East and West coasts, and threw a launch party/16th birthday where he paid Paris Hilton and Usher to show up. Within seven months, the whole hot-pink operation had been shuttered, and Kira's U.S. vehicle, the K.P. Clothing Co., was in Chapter 7 liquidation with debts of over $54 million. Which outcome, one might think, would put paid to little Kira's notions of world chain store domination — but no! Cleverly disguised under a new business name (Pink Square) and a new brand (K. Plastinina), the teenaged tycoon reopened two of her former Los Angeles locations. Which is where protesters from a building company that did $2.5 million worth of unpaid work went to go find her yesterday. "The point of all this is that there are still people suffering because of what [the company] did," says Aaron Rectenwald, who built Kira eight of her original American stores. "We haven't gotten the attention of management yet so we'll be coming back until we do." [WWD]
• The 17 workers suing New York-based retailer Scoop for allegedly giving them bogus promotions to salaried positions to avoid paying them overtime staged a protest outside Scoop's SoHo store yesterday. The former employees, most of whom are from West Africa, also allege that Scoop fired people who were in fact legal residents for supposed immigration violations. Scoop's current owners released a statement that read, "Although these allegations are against Scoop's previous management, we've conducted an internal audit to insure the company is in compliance with local, state and federal wage and hour laws. Scoop's current wage and hour practices are conducted in accordance with all state, local and federal laws." The chain's founding owners had no comment. [WWD]
• Gap Inc. expects to expand into Thailand by next Spring. The company as a whole will, however, close more stores than it will open in the next fiscal year — 100 compared to just 50. [WSJ]
• Over 3,000 pairs of Charles by Charles David high heeled shoes sold at Nordstrom Rack from April to June of this year are being recalled. The recall affects various colors and styles of shoe, and was put into effect because the heels of the shoes can easily detach while the wearer is walking. If you're affected, you can take yours back to the store for a full refund. [UPI]

• Could Oscar winner Jamie Foxx play Frank Sinatra in the highly anticipated upcoming biopic directed by Martin Scorsese? "Cool is colour-blind," says an industry source, "Jamie would seem to be born to the role." [DailyExpress]

• However, other industry sources say that Martin Scorsese has narrowed his finalists down to Johnny Depp and James Franco. "One issue for Johnny is his age. He's 45. But he's youthful enough to play nearly anybody," says a source. Mark Wahlberg, Harry Connick, Jr., and everyone's Mom's boyfriend, Michael Buble, have also been mentioned for the role. [PageSix]
• Bradley Cooper is denying rumors that he and Jennifer Aniston are a couple: "My mom loves it, but unfortunately it's not true." [People]
• Aniston, meanwhile, hopes to direct someday: ""I'm just waiting for the right thing. When you get to a place in your career where you're like, ‘OK, I feel like I can breathe and I can make some choices that creatively stimulate me.' I don't know if acting is always going to be it, but I love it." [ShowbizSpy]
• Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr., are expecting a baby girl. "Sarah wants the room to look sophisticated, so nothing too frilly or princessy," says a source, "She's been shopping for earth tones to mix with plum or magenta accents." [Star]
• "There were certain moments when I was 18 and I'd look out of the window to see girls going to parties with their boyfriends and think, ‘How am I ever going to meet anybody?' I couldn't just go on a date, and nobody was going to ask me out. I was working too hard and not exposed to people my own age. But now I'm in such a great place and I'm happy that I've found the person I've found. I wouldn't trade it for anything."- Beyonce [Mirror]
• Blind Item: "This B-/C+ actor from a hit network drama who has had a very famous girlfriend in the past year, thinks he has a life coach that he hired last year. What he really has is a tabloid reporter who is writing a book about the show and the people on it." [BlindGossip]
• Wonder what the cast of The Facts of Life is up to? Find out here. [Yahoo]
• Amy Adams, who got engaged last year, says her work schedule has made it impossible to do any planning for her wedding. "I'm working too hard." [People]
• Good news for Dollhouse fans: the show has been renewed. [EW]
• "We were a rich kids' school but with good morals. Stefani was a straight-A student who wore her skirt to her knee, as we were supposed to, and knee-high socks," says one ofLady Gaga's former classmates, "I was so shocked when I first saw her perform as Lady Gaga. It was at a Lower East Side club, the Slipper Room, and she was in a coned bra and little hot pants. I said, "Damn, you have changed. But when we got to talking, she hadn't changed at all. She wasn't even drinking. She was still one of the nice girls. I really think her morals are still intact." [DailyMail]
• After a "blazing row" with her boyfriend, Doug Reinhardt, Paris Hilton decided to take her father to the premiere of her new reality show. [DailyMail]
• Meanwhile, MTV has bought the rights to a documentary called Paris, Not France, that aims to show that Paris Hilton isn't as ditzy as she appears.KansasCityStar]
• "I'd never want to become famous now. I feel like there's a real cockiness with young people today. Maybe it's protective, a shell. But the new celeb daughters and sons, the pop stars, are wise beyond their years. And that really irritates me."-Chloe Sevigny [TimesOnline]
• A source claims that Amy Winehouse "has knocked the drugs on the head but replaced them with alcohol." Amy is currently on St. Lucia, doing gymnastics, horseback riding, and attempting to prepare for summer festivals. [DailyExpress]
• Carrie Prejean is in trouble again for booking a Fox & Friends appearance without clearing it with the Miss California USA organization. ""We did not know about Carrie hosting Fox and Friends on May 27," says pageant director Keith Lewis, "She did not ask us if she could host the show, and once again Carrie is not in compliance with her Miss CA USA contract and obligations."[ONTD]
• Jeremy Piven is "not welcome" on Broadway after his mercury-poisoning Speed the Plow fiasco last year: "He's not welcome here," says Steven Pasquale of reasons to be pretty, "He should stay on the West Coast forever and . . . never, never return. It's sort of like the Broadway-producer Mafia . . . They certainly don't want him in town." [PageSix]
• Me, personally, if I don't write all the time, if a couple of weeks go by and I'm not writing, I feel shitty. I need to write, just as little exercises to feel like I'm doing something."-Eminem [Guardian]
• "I don't see myself as funny. I am definitely low-key, not the kind of person who is always ‘on', especially with strangers," the actor tells Britain's Sunday Mirror newspaper in a new interview. "I think people approach me with certain expectations that I don't always live up to. I have never been a stand-up comedian. I can't tell a joke. Actually, I don't know any jokes."- Ben Stiller [ShowbizSpy]
• "I mean, in Harry Potter people likes the characters, but they don't want to sleep with them. And I guess it kind of adds a different intensity to it, which I still haven't got my head around."-Robert Pattinson, who clearly has never read any Potter fanfic. Yikes. [ShowbizSpy]

• Rihanna is currently on a beach in Mexico, and this picture on the cover of the NY Daily News is the first we've seen of her in a long while. [NY Daily News]

• Chris Brown's March 5 arraignment may be postponed because the LAPD is still investigating the case. A source told E! News, "The D.A. is being even more thorough than usual with this case. They don't want to mess it up." [E!]
• Kevin Federline is starting his own children's clothing line because he doesn't want to pay a lot for jeans. He says: "It's a really tough business, I'm trying to take it seriously and make a quality product for kids but not have parents pay like $500 or something ridiculous for a pair of jeans. You buy your kids a pair of True Religions, then they roll around in the dirt like kids do and a $200 pair of jeans is gone. With this economy, I'm looking to do something much more reasonable." Uh… All you have to do is shop at The Children's Place or Old Navy or Target or somewhere they don't sell True Religion for children. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Meanwhile, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are suing baby buggy company Silver Cross, claiming the manufacturer unlawfully used a picture of the celebrity parents pushing twins Emme and Max in their strollers. Don't you know if you want J. Lo and Marc to endorse your product, you have to pay? [E!]
• It's hard to focus on this story about how Lily Allen likes naked lapdances and partying with Lindsay Lohan because the picture of Lily and Lindsay wearing black masks and showing off their "shh" tattoos is oddly mesmerizing. Question: Did we ever figure out what LL meant when she said the "shh" tattoo was a "woman empowerment thing"? [The Sun]
• Katie Holmes may be working on a flick in New York, but she plays "fourth fiddle" behind Kevin Kline, Paul Dano and John C. Reilly. Fox's Roger Friedman calls her movie career "over." [Fox 411]
• Slumdog's Dev Patel is in talks to appear on the real Who Wants To Be A Millionaire to raise cash for kids living on the streets. [The Sun]
• What's next for the stars of Slumdog? Lots more movies. [NY Daily News]
• Madonna is helping Rosie O'Donnell get through menopause. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Dita Von Teese signed a record deal. She will be singing now. Of course, she won't be warbling "All The Single Ladies" or anything: She plans to cover Irving Berlin's "Lazy." [E!]
• Keira Knightley was to play Cordelia in a £25 million film version of King Lear, but it's been scrapped. [Telegraph]
• Peaches Geldof was not allowed to drink at the NME awards; she placed an alcohol ban on herself. [Daily Mail]
• Jay Leno was questioned by a Writers Guild panel yesterday; they are trying to determine if he violated strike rules by delivering a monologue last year (during the strike). [Variety]
• LOL: Ever since Kellogg's dumped Michael Phelps, there have been oodles of negative stories about the brand. [Silicon Alley Insider]
• DMX is in jail, where he is not behaving himself: He stole a tray of food from the dining hall and threw it at a corrections officer. How would they handle this on Oz? [Perez]
• Chris Isaak has his own talk show, The Chris Isaak Hour, on the Bio channel. It starts tonight! Guests play songs and chat and hang out with Chris's dog. [USA Today]
• If you get divorced, the guys you date afterward, who put a "spark" back in your heartbroken life — Jennifer Aniston calls them "defibrillator men." [Daily Mail]
• "Big Poppa" has moved in with Real Housewives' Kim Zolciak. Yeah, he's married. [NY Daily News]
• In case you've been wondering what the hell she's been up to, Kate Bosworth is producing the film based on a book called Lost Girls and Love Hotels. [Gatecrasher]
• What the world needs now: A Jerry Seinfeld marriage-oriented reality show. Celebs, comedians and athletes will "judge couples in the midst of marital disputes while recommending various strategies to resolve their problems." I thee dread! [Hollywood Reporter]
• Brenda Blethyn opened a new library in her hometown and paid a fine for a book she borrowed 50 years ago. Bet Hortense loves this one. [The Sun]
• Clint Eastwood is the second person ever to received a lifetime achievement honor from the organizers of the Cannes Film Festival; he hot the Palme D'Or yesterday. Ingmar Bergman got one in 1997. [Reuters]
• The James Brown museum may be on hold, but there is a James Brown exhibit at South Carolina State University. See glittering suits and glossy shoes and the comb he used to neatly sculpt his hair. [AP]
• Star Jones's ex, Al Reynolds, is maybe getting engaged again, if you care. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which sleazy reality star is going to have a cow when he finds out there's a sex tape of him floating around? In it, he's having a threesome with his very best friend." [Gatecrasher]
• "I'm probably a little bit shocked but I remember the overwhelming thing was feeling like I was just floating on a cloud. I went into that event knowing that was my last rally but no one else knew that. So when I crashed and I realised we were both OK, it was a massive relief." — Eric Bana, on crashing his race car during a Tasmanian rally. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I sincerely hope that this tragedy will make people realize that great apes should never be kept as pets or exploited for films, television, or advertising. Their lives are miserable from the day that they are taken from their mothers... until they are cast off to roadside zoos or meet a violent end, as Travis did in this tragic case." — Anjelica Huston, on the chimpanzee attack. [Daily Express]
• "I think that at 12:30, either you're awake or you're not. I don't think the 10 p.m. will affect me at all. If we can do decent ratings, hold on to Conan's numbers, I'll be happy. It's a marathon, not a race. It's a long, long thing if it's going to work." — Jimmy Fallon. [USA Today]
• "The stars made by television who were once so big you just couldn't believe it-Johnny Carson, Carol Burnett, people like that, Sid Caesar-they were enormous stars made by television, but there were lots of real stars in America. Now everything is so vitiated because there is so much media, if we want to dignify a lot of it, it begins to just all run together. At least when you said "Clark Gable" or "Elizabeth Taylor" or "Katharine Hepburn," you knew exactly who you were talking about, you didn't have to explain them. Now you have to talk about people like Paris Hilton and Britney Spears and the people on the American Idol. I mean, it's very diminished in quality, I guess is what I'd say, the quality of stardom. Because I don't know who most of those people are. I'm not kidding! I read Page Six mystified every day, and everybody I talk to agrees with me. They don't know who anybody is." — Liz Smith. [The Daily Beast]
• "A real gossip story is Lana Turner's daughter killing Johnny Stompanato. It had all kinds of tragic ramifications-celebrity, sex, a little girl involved and so forth. I mean, who cares if somebody you've never heard of is sniffing cocaine in a bathroom down in Soho? That's the level of gossip today. There seems to me to be no real stories and the real ones all appear in the headlines-A-Rod taking steroids, though why anybody gives a shit I don't understand. You know, the real story of this year is Bernie Madoff, and betrayal, disaster and everything else, lives being smashed and ruined by somebody's criminal activity. But gossip? Even the ‘90s are beginning to look good." — Liz Smith. [The Daily Beast]
• "I thought that was something that you could use for humor, like any other comedian or someone else would utilize current events. After I saw the photographs of Rihanna, that wasn't funny anymore. There's a point you're already past a woman fighting you back. You look at (the photograph), and it obviously went past that point, so there's some issues there that definitely gotta be addressed. Not to take any shots at Chris or Rihanna or to take sides in any way, but it's really not cool. It's not funny at all anymore. That's why there won't be no more references to that from me in any way." — 50 Cent, who initially mocked the Rihanna/Chris Brown incident with a "Street Fighter"- like characters in an animated video. [MSNBC]
• "I was average. I had a lot of friends but I was not in that ultra cool circle. I was a bit of a class clown. I guess to get through the tedium of the quadratic formula, I thought everyone was fair game. Between self-discovery and the social hierarchy, high school can be the most confusing time of your life." — Zac Efron. [Mirror]
• "I'm so negative against her. She just shouldn't have any of those children as far as I'm concerned. I know that's going to get me in a whole mess of trouble, but I don't know where her mind is. She says the strangest things. I don't think she's doing drugs, but she acts like someone who is not of this world. It's like, 'hello, come down to Planet Earth with the rest of us!'" —Cher, on Nadya Suleman. [USA Today via ET]
• "My mom is like this hard-core, liberal feminist. She's a professor in Boston, and she's been teaching women's studies for 30 years and international politics. So I've traveled, and I've heard so many women's stories, and I've heard stories of really, really hard lives. And I just feel like there are so many stories to be told, and it's hard to find someone who can sort of intertwine them with the right kind of action and suspense and use genius metaphors ... while striking a chord with the universal theme of the search for one's true identity. I asked Joss [Whedon] to create it with me and for me, and it was really special to me." — Eliza Dushku, star of Dollhouse. [USA Today]

Here's the gist, if you're new to the concept: Eliza Dushku plays Echo, an "active" whose mind has been erased. She can have personalities (and memories) programmed into her, and rich people pay a company to have Echo do their bidding. Her mind is "wiped" after each "engagement," and she's not supposed to remember anything. In the pilot, she's a feisty plaything for some guy's birthday party — hence the motorcycles and the dancing — but her next gig is as a kidnapping "expert." As the clip shows, while she negotiated with the kidnappers, she also realized that she had been kidnapped as a child, by the man she was facing. Well, Echo wasn't kidnapped — the woman whose personality she was programmed with was. Complicated, but intriguing. Though Whedon is known for tough, ass-kicking female characters (Buffy, Serenity), this episode was a little light on the whupass. Still, the idea of one person, one actress taking on several different personas — kind of Quantum Leap, kind of Alias — is always interesting, and from what we've seen over at io9, Dushku will surely be kicking and gunning down baddies very soon. What sucks about this show is that Fox stuck it on Friday nights. Boo. Clip above.

Related: Dollhouse's Sexuality Is Creepy On Purpose
We've Seen 3 Episodes Of Joss Whedon's Dollhouse!

• Is no one safe from the lure of Designer Fragrance? Ewan McGregor is the face of Davidoff "Adventure." The cologne “explores uncharted fragrance territory. Its fresh spicy woody composition is daring and elemental, inspired by the world’s great wildernesses and raw, masculine emotion.” [BlackBook]
• Avril Lavigne's clothing line for Kohl's goes the way of Lauren Conrad...one way express to the bargain bin. [Perez Hilton]
• Teen Vogue launches book (presumably for teens) on getting into the fashion industry. "It's set to be a sort of archive of interviews with different people in fashion — designers, photographers, models, editors, etc. and meant to teach young Teen Vogue readers about what it takes to break into the industry." Seems like a cruel hoax. [Fashionista]

• NY Times fashion writer goes shopping for expensive stuff. "At Barneys, I saw a terrific wool pencil skirt by Mr. Jacobs with an elastic grosgrain waist — just pull it on! Considering the name and the quality of the fit, it seemed a good buy at $495." [NYT]
• Pre-fab girl group Danity Kane (they who made the band) launch a "funky denim" line for Dollhouse. Unclear how the collaboration will work/ whether P. "I am King" Diddy is involved. [TeamSugar]
• American Apparel brings pervy vertically-integrated manufacturing to China! [WWD]
• Urban fails to find an Anthropologie prez, splits the job in-house. [WSJ]
• There is a misconception afoot that we are vitally interested in every detail of Madonna's "Sticky and Sweet" toilette. "This year she'll be using Shu Uemura eye-lash curlers - three pairs to be exact, four YSL lipsticks, 180 ear buds (that's a ration of three per night), 200 triangle sponges to apply her make-up and 120 powder puffs." [ElleUK]
• After disappointments from its other, um, sponsorees, Nike pins its hopes on promising men's basketball team. [MSNBC]
• Okay, this is weird -—while everyone else in the world is down, Gymboree is, for some reason up 38%. [WSJ]
• Whitney Port leaves old "job" for new "job." [Fashionista]
• Australian Project Runway contestant claims she was subject to bullying in school. "My best friends started calling me derogatory terms and started saying things to put me down, like I was nothing," the 17-year-old told Confidential allies in Melbourne. Obviously, she adds, it was due to jealousy. [News.com.au]
• Feelings continue to run high — inexplicably, positive feelings — about Crocs. [Newsweek]
• Steve and Barry's bought out by Bay Harbor; SJP's "Bitten" part of the package. [BW]
• Mirage Prada store appears in Texas desert. It's art. [Jossip]
• Avril's not the only one hurting at Kohl's: they fire CEO, name new one. [WSJ]
• Models, maybe measuring their thighs. Yes. [Fabsugar]
• Apparently unable to break habits of a lifetime, people now merely walking around malls for fun instead of shopping. [LAT]
• We really don't envy Patrick Robinson right now. Here's another CAN HE TURN THE GAP AROUND?!?! story. "Fashion magazines have heralded the recent arrival of Mr. Robinson at Gap in reverential tones (he is actually called a “megabrand messiah” in the September issue of Elle), and the windows announce in big block letters that a “New Shape” is in store. But there has not yet been a seismic return of shoppers to a retail chain that stopped being cool around the time Abercrombie opened its doors with a reinvented brand." [NYT]
• MTV's new Model Maker apparently centers around making thin women lose more weigh. Boring and unhealthy! [The Cut]
• Fashion line Belstaff teams up with George Clooney, Audi, in support of Tibet. "Earlier this year, Belstaff showed its commitment to international charitable causes by releasing a range of Free Tibet jackets - a cause that has been close to the brand's heart since meeting the Dalai Lama in 2004." [VogueUK]
• Anna Sui protests the destruction of New York's garment district (menaced by new zoning laws) with a "Save the Grament District" tee. Hey, she's a designer, what do you want? [Fashionista]
• On October 30, Christie's holds retrospective auction of iconoclastic design. "Resurrection: Avant-Garde Fashion, an extensive collection of 20th century fashion previously held in private hands, will be sold in London at the South Kensington saleroom. The auction includes items from designers from the 1960s to the 1990s who challenged cherished norms with new materials and innovative ways of cutting fabric." [Fashion Week Daily]
• Heads: "mustard" is a trend we will all be avoiding this fall. [FabSugar]

I mean, lots of little girls play with dolls. In my case, the doll family was a motley crew acquired at various tag sales and thrift stores. The main players were Lime, Rainbow and Orange - triplets in striped jump suits from the stationery store - and a six-inch femme fatale named Vagina. There was also a grubby used Barbie of uncertain vintage (usually cast as the burlesque dancer) and a lone boy baby doll, Big Leon, who, when submerged in water, could pee out of a tiny penis, and was the de facto groom in all weddings.

I wasn't very maternal, but I loved playing God with my dolls' lives, which were heavily influenced by Greek mythology and Singin' in the Rain. I had several friends whom I stayed in abusive relationships with because they had such good dolls: the neighbor with the extensive Barbie wardrobe, or the classmate with three American Girl dolls that I was not allowed to touch. (The one time I persuaded her to let us take the Kirsten doll outside -I mean, she was a pioneer- we lost the wooden spoon on the doll's belt and I had to take the rap.)

As other girls outgrew dolls, though, my obsession only evolved. I took it underground. I concealed my subscription to the Doll Reader and made excuses in other cities when I slipped off to doll museums. I started experimenting with making my own, with frightening results. I was ashamed: not only was this possibly the uncoolest thing in the world - think QVC - but what was wrong with me that tiny fake people and their paraphernalia hadn't ceased to enthrall? I've tried to analyze what it is about miniature things that fascinates me and I can't tell whether it's the manageable nature of their scale (so much less overwhelming than real life) or the fact that, with old ones, they're like living witnesses to history. (Okay, that does sound kind of creepy.) Or, you know, just how cool it is that people can make things so tiny. A long time ago I started taking note of other adult women who retained a doll fetish - Tasha Tudor, Queen Mary, a weirdo named Joe Carstairs who carried this doll familiar named Lord Tod Wadley with her everywhere - and they're uniformly bizarre.

Nevertheless, I think it's time I threw off the shackles of my secret life and admit the truth: I am a doll-loving American. I read about them in lame hobby magazines, I buy them on eBay, I look at them in museums, I hang with Irving Chase at the New York Doll Hospital. Even the cheapest, crummiest doll holds a certain fascination for me. And I am no longer ashamed. I recently ran into a hipster acquaintance while I was holding a vintage doll I'd just gotten at a stoop sale - and you know what? I held my head high. Thank you for your support.

Viktor & Rolf: So Good They Did It Twice [Telegraph]

I used fancier materials than we normally use for one of our standard doll houses, in order to show honor for the synagogue in the abstract, and for the Torah and its accessories. I gave up some of my real beads and fabrics, and spent more time on it than one of my 'normal' dollhouses. I wanted there to be room for a at least whole minyan (10 men) of men, and a comparable number of seats for the ladies. I wanted the Torah and its accouterments to be somewhat accurate for both educational and play value.

And how clever and crafty and successful Carolyn's venture was! And how many things we learned from her! Want to make strollers for the women to push their babies in outside while the men pray? Use a broken clothes hanger! Want the flowers in the faux-flower boxes to actually smell? Tape a cinnamon stick to the base of a box before putting your faux flora in them! Want to make a toy Torah? Get yourself some Tyvek [Isn't that the name of the guy in 'Fiddler On The Roof'? Joke. -Ed.], a paint pen, a glue gun, and some tooth picks! What to do for the Torah cover? Paint some duct tape, natch! Need a bookshelf for your prayer books? Coffee stirrers! (No, really, why didn't we think of any of this???)

Seriously, we have never been as terrified / inspired by something in all of our lives. We think even Martha Stewart would be impressed. Martha, if you're reading this — you need to book Carolyn from Boston on your show, stat. Just in time for Channukah! Bring the good lady on and make her recreate, like, The Second Temple using only household goods! This lady is like the MacGyver of the long skirt, hair-covering set.

Or better yet, have Carolyn do a cooking segment! Latkes and a pork roast, anyone? Bring your Barbies and say L'Chaim!

Rebuilding The Beit Midrash [Juggling Frogs via Boing Boing]