Jezebel: dogs

Critter Christmas

Intern Katy — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 10:45:00 EST

It's always the season for cute puppy-love, but in the spirit of Christmas, we bring you this: a canine nativity. And to double the cute, a video of a very festive kitty, trimming the tree. [WorldofWonder, ICanHasCheezburger]

Mean Environmentalists: Eat Your Pets

Anna N. — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 18:20:00 EST

Environmentalists Robert and Brenda Vale say a dog uses as much annual energy as a car, a goldfish uses as much as two cell phones, and cat poop poisons otters' brains. Solution: get a bunny, then eat it. [Yahoo News]

Warning: Good Morning America Is Trying To Steal Your Dog

Margaret — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 13:20:00 EST

In 2009 there was a 30% increase in pet thefts. To investigate, GMA's Bill Stanton stole dogs in public on hidden camera. Few people intervened, but they were probably scared off by Stanton's creepy proclamations about his love of dognapping.

Cat Beats Down Dog While Riding A Roomba

Margaret — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 18:40:00 EST

In the clip at left, a cat chases her canine companion around on a Roomba and tries to scratch him as their owner sings "Move Bitch" by Ludacris. It's just more proof that rap promotes violence. [Buzzfeed]

Santa's Little Helper

Dodai — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 16:50:00 EST

[Los Angeles, December 17. Image via WENN.]

Bo Reduces Michelle & Oprah To Baby Talk

Dodai — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 09:20:00 EST

Nothing forces a serious conversation to grind to a halt like a puppy. "He has tricks!" Additional stills below.

TGIF

Dodai — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 15:50:00 EST

[Image via AP.]

The Paws Of Life

Anna — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 13:30:00 EST

What does it mean, exactly, that an animal-loving, yoga-practicing, high-powered president of the ASPCA has a toy poodle named "Jezebel"? [NYTimes]

Fetchdog, Drs Fosters & Smith: Howliday Humiliation For Dogs & Cats

Dodai — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 15:00:00 EST

Let's sing the praises of two pet catalogs — Doctors Fosters & Smith and Fetchdog: Jingle bells, my cat smells, my dog is not too bright… Oh what fun it is to shop for pet products tonight!

So, we're starting with Fetchdog first. While these bedding products are not specifically holiday-themed, they can't be overlooked. On the one hand: Isn't it weird to offer your dog fur to lie on — even if it's faux? On the other hand: Think of the sense of accomplishment that Pomeranian must be feeling — he's conquered a gigantic jaguar.

When they talk about your dog's "inner jungle animal," do they mean jungle like the music? Is this Pug headed to a nü rave?

Aw, the chew toy shaped like a peppermint is really cute. As are the gingerbread men.

(Click "full size" to enlarge)

Let's face it: The item called a "Starstruck Party Collar" is really a jester outfit. Your dog is a joke! It's his job to keep you entertained. As for the Weimaraner in antlers, his expression is: "Please. I'm begging you. Take them off."

Of all these items, the velvet bell collar seems the least offensive; the fact that the Santa Hat comes with a scarf boggles the mind. The "reindog bandana" is just dumb. That Vizsla agrees. And would like a treat.

I'll admit that I like the Ho Ho Fleece Hoodie. Are you guys going to start hounding me? I'm afraid to incur your wrath. Let's move on.

The awesome thing about the Doctors Fosters & Smith catalog cover is how the photograph solidifies all the stereotypes about cats and dogs. Cats are savvy opportunists; dogs are lazy good-for-nothings who sleep when there's work to be done.

The reindeer costume doesn't work, but the Santa Suit is kind of brilliant. That Boston Terrier looks quite sharp, what with the matching socks.

I eat meat and buy sometimes buy leather, but knowing that rawhide chews are made from cowskin, seeing all of it together like this makes me queasy. And that "bone" is too big. TOO BIG.

Puggle says: "She's a bitch. No, really. An actual bitch."

WHY does that Elf Hat have brown pointed ears?!?!?! Wait. I don't want to know.

"Just For Cats" ought to read "Just For Krazy Kat Ladies Who Like To Advertise Their Love Of Cats."

You know this look. This is the look of a fierce feline contemplating scratching some idiot human's eyes out. Ideally the fool who adorned him in a Collar Ruff. But anyone will do.

Fake colors make rawhides cuter.

Another put-upon puss plots revenge.

Fetchdog [Official Site]
Doctors Fosters & Smith [Official Site]

Earlier:
Doctors Foster & Smith: The Crazy Cat Lady Catalog

Dear Santa: Have You Seen The December J. Crew?
Barneys: Wooing With Witticisms & Wallet-Emptying Wares
Ashro: Stop Being Such A Slob And Get Yourself A Suit, Hat & Wig
19 Crappy & Crazy Christmas Gifts From Sky Mall
Silver Belles & Butt Floss: Christmas At Frederick's Of Hollywood
Preclears On Your List? Shop The Scientology Holiday Catalog

All previous catalog posts

Gotta Have Faith

Anna — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 16:15:00 EST

[Kabul, November 26. Image via Getty]

A child plays with her pet dog, near an enclosure made for the animal, in a partially built building in Kabul, Afghanistan, Thursday, Nov. 26, 2009. In the background are written quotes of unfaithfulness in the language Dari. (AP Photo/Mustafa Quraishi)

Going To The Dogs

Sadie — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 15:30:00 EST

The annual 'Pet-a-Porter' pet fashion show at London's Harrods found many miserable dogs dressed as Wizard of Oz characters and obviously wishing they could click their heels and be somewhere - anywhere - else.

"My god, the humiliation. Kill me now."

"Je suis triste, moi. Tres, tres triste."

"One paw in front of the other. One paw...in front..."

A proud taste...for scarlet and miniver.

"There's no place like home. There's no place like home."

"When a dog's an empty kettle
He should be on his mettle
And yet I'm torn apart."

"Carry me. I do not wish to sully my paw."

"Great. A winged monkey. Again."

"We need a little Christmas...we need a little Christmas...wait, I forgot my mantra."

"Nah...I'm wasted, I can' do it."

"The show must go on!"

[Images via Getty]

"No, Cesar, Lend Me Your Ear"

Dodai — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 12:50:00 EST

[London, November 25. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

Off To See A Man About A Dog

Dodai — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 13:50:00 EST

[Calabasas, November 14. Image via INFDaily.]

I'm A Little Teacup

Anna — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 15:10:00 EST

[Los Angeles, November 12. Image via Getty]

LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 12: A general view of atmosphere at Platine Pop-Up Bakery and Anya Hindmarch Girl's Tea to Benefit CoachArt on November 12, 2009 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Alexandra Wyman/Getty Images for Anya Hindmarch/Getty Images for Anya Hindmarch)

Two Carry-Ons Per Person

Dodai — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 19:50:00 EST

[LAX, November 11. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

Puppy Love

Intern Katy — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 12:20:00 EST

To atone for all the depressing stories in the news today, we give you this: Fresh from the White House Flickr account, Barack Obama rubbing the belly of a very happy pup. [White House Photostream]

(Actually, It Kind Of Looks Like Petting)

Sadie — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 18:30:00 EST

"Petting is passé. Your dog wants a massage." Oh, and the dog? Is named Henry Wrinkler. [YouTube via BuzzFeed]

Slutoween Has Gone To The Dogs

Margaret — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 11:30:00 EST

Here's some scary news: Judging from the costumed pet photos on Dogster's blog, the inappropriately sexy Halloween costume trend has spread to dogs. No pets should be subjected to thong bikinis or sexy French maid outfits. [Dogster via Mental Floss]

Two In The Hand...

Anna — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 15:50:00 EDT

[New York, October 19. Image via Getty]

Queen Bees & Wannabees

Anna — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 09:10:00 EDT

[New York, October 18. Image via Getty]

Buttercup the West Highland Terrier dressed as the 'Queen Bee' with Gina Puzzanghern during the Fifth Annual Times Square Dog Day Masquerade October 18, 2009. The canine costume contest is presented by the Times Square Alliance . AFP PHOTO TIMOTHY A. CLARY (Photo credit should read TIMOTHY A. CLARY/AFP/Getty Images)