"My god, the humiliation. Kill me now."


"Je suis triste, moi. Tres, tres triste."


"One paw in front of the other. One paw...in front..."


A proud taste...for scarlet and miniver.


"There's no place like home. There's no place like home."


"When a dog's an empty kettle
He should be on his mettle
And yet I'm torn apart."


"Carry me. I do not wish to sully my paw."


"Great. A winged monkey. Again."


"We need a little Christmas...we need a little Christmas...wait, I forgot my mantra."


"Nah...I'm wasted, I can' do it."

"The show must go on!"

[Images via Getty]

Kaz Hosaka spent six hours prepping miniature poodle Champion Surrey Sweet Spice before entering the ring; the New York Times says Hosaka is "an artist who tends his poodles' poufs as if they were bonsai trees from his native Japan." Think about the wacky excess as you check out the latest images from the Westminster Dog Show:

"I can has economic stimulus package?"

"So I says to her, I says, Ethel. If you don't get yourself a box you ain't gonna be able to watch Ellen. Somethin' about digital teevee. She doesn't get it, though, you know?"

"If my lo mein doesn't get here in 30 seconds I am going to have to cut a bitch."

"Cleans up messes quicker than a Swiffer."

"Do I have broccoli in my teeth?"

"Dude, does this thing go any faster? I saw a hot little Yorkie over by the snack bar."

Insert your own "No Woman No Cry" joke here.

Awwwwwwwww, who's a good boy?

"It's not you… It's me. I can't do this anymore."

Message received, loud and clear.

"Is that sirloin? That doesn't smell like sirloin. I'm not even going to bother if that's not sirloin."

El oh el.

The best "Bish, plz," ever.

"I just want to be like, a champagne blonde? Like a honey blonde. Not a frosty blonde. Too trashy. A classy blonde, like one of those Real Housewives."

"Worried about my performance? No… what makes you think so? Do I look worried?"

"We're just sick of spending so much on Pantene Pro-V." "You can't underestimate the importance of a good conditioner."

"Friends, it's a dog eat dog world."

"I know. I'm funny, but looks aren't everything. I've heard 'em all before."

One of the Best of the Dog-Handling Breed [WSJ]
The Poodle Can't Talk Now; She's in With Her Stylist [NY Times]
Earlier: Day 1 Of The Westminster Dog Show

Someone is living a more luxurious life than you are.

While the jacket and the woman are amusing, one has to wonder if the dog is in on the joke.

A little privacy, please?

Gah! Chihuahuas are my kryptonite. Cant. Type. Losing. Brain. Function. Must. Squee!!!

Gigi knew that she and Scruffy were from different worlds.

"Hi! Have we met? There's something about you… It's like we're soulmates!"

This just doesn't seem appropriate.

"Ahh. This is the life."

"Make sure they know that I asked for a soy caramel latte, and that this is the second time they have messed it up. If I had thumbs, I would do it myself."

"Being gorgeous is a tough job, but someone's gotta do it."

"No, I'm sorry, I will not make love to the camera."

Aww, with a lineup this cute, they're all winners, right?

Relaxing before show time?

What is the backstory here?!!?!

The Kennel Club has been under pressure to change its breed standards since a recent BBC documentary accused breeders of endangering dogs’ health in order to achieve prize-winning features, which, for bulldogs includes stubby legs, big shoulders, narrow hips, and upturned muzzles. Years of selective breeding have made it virtually impossible for an English Bulldog to give birth naturally, and their upturned muzzles have been blamed for respiratory problems. The new standards will apply to a total of 78 breeds, including the shar pei and the German shepherd. [CNN]