Sorry in advance for the nightmare fodder, but Valentine's Day is approaching or some such thing and so, you know, kissing and love.

Going to the gyno is enough of a pain in the cervix without the fear that the doctor between your legs is snapping pictures without your knowledge. But, for 9,000 ex-patients of deceased Johns Hopkins gynecologist Dr. Nikita Levy, that seemingly irrational fear may actually have been warranted. Bleargh.

Raise your hand if you'd be willing to spend almost $110,000 on a super fancy swastika ring made especially for Hitler by a rabid anti-semitic jeweler. None of you should be raising your hands.

Hustler ran a picture in this month's print edition that depicted conservative writer and pundit S. E. Cupp with a penis photoshopped into her mouth. Their justification? She's a vocally anti-choice, anti-Planned Parenthood figure who happens to be a woman, ergo, she deserves some oral dicking. I may disagree with…

Hollywood Is Out Of Ideas Part MMMCMLXXXV: Sick-shit franchise Saw may return, with its eighth film. (2010's Saw 3D was the 7th and most recent movie.) Lionsgate Vice Chairman Michael Burns recently admitted, "I'm sure, some day, you'll see Saw back in the picture." See-saw! Meanwhile: At a press junket for Mission…

in Japan are now training to charge you thousands of dollars to drill the shit out of your teeth using ultra scary lifelike dolls.

Planning on entertaining guests this evening? Dazzle them with a casserole that consists mostly of reconstituted chicken, starch, and American cheese!

Dallas, Feb 5: Is this how P Diddy feels when he wakes up in the morning? What is this? I can't even.

It exists! The film, shot in 1970, has just been sold to a distribution company for about half a million USD. I will be camping out on opening night dressed as a Storm Trooper.

You may remember Sean Duffy from such reality TV shows as The Real World: Boston and Real World/ Road Rules Challenge. People from Wisconsin's 7th district now know the plaid-wearing District Attorney of Ashland County as a potential C-SPAN fixture.

Playboy Enterprises has launched a new, safe for work website called TheSmokingJacket.com. Hef calls it "the best hangout on the planet." It is, without a doubt, the lamest website we've seen since Tucker Max was unleashed on the world.

• Vogue India, which has been criticized in the past for promoting only light skin as beautiful, has five darker-skinned models on its new cover. [Vogue UK]
• Illustrator Kate Bingaman-Burt drew everything she purchased since 2006, and made a book. [Racked]

From the press release: "Now she will tell her side of the story, answering such questions as [...] how she has been forced to battle the left's double-standard on free speech." This instant classic comes out in November. [GalleyCat]

More than a decade ago, it came to the attention of our government and others that there are sick fucks in the world who wank to depictions of animal torture, so Congress made it illegal.

The National Review's Kevin Williamson reveals his inner perv in a paean to Miss Manner's sexiness and sexual dominance — even going so far as to call her "Mistress Manners". Shit's scarier than Halloween! [NRO]

Anyone who uses Facebook has most likely been inundated with those annoying ads for super Acai berries; berries meant to aid in weight loss or what have you through their "superfood" powers. Well guess what?

As seen in the May issue of Lucky magazine, here is the ad for Heidi Montag's clothing line, Heidiwood, in association with Anchor Blue. From the pink cars to the bunny to the hummingbirds and the boombox (?), there are three words to describe this, and they are: Do. Not. Want. (Click to enlarge.)