• Kate Gosselin says her kids have been misbehaving lately and, "I'm trying to give them the grace to see, if they're acting out of line, I'm trying to look deeper into why that is, why the kids are acting out..."

• She continues, "Cause it's all inter-related. I mean, they don't see it, but it's all interconnected." [People]
• This can't be good: Nadya Suleman says, "I kind of have a crush on Jon Gosselin," adding, "I think he's hot!" [Radar Online]
• Michael Kamrava, the fertility doctor who implanted Nadya Suleman with six embryos, has been kicked out of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. The organization does not have the power to strip him of his medical license. [TMZ]
• Michael Lohan has announced he's going to meet with a judge and ask to put Lindsay Lohan under a conservatorship. A source says, "Lindsay is actively getting a restraining order, her lawyer have already been contacted. She's scared. This is really serious."
  [People]
• Roman Polanski was transferred from prison to a hospital on Friday for medical examinations. He'll remain in the hospital for several days being treated for an undisclosed condition. [People]
• Is Ashlee Simpson going to appear in an upcoming issue of Vogue? She was spotted recently at a"glamorous photoshoot for Vogue magazine at the Hilton hotel in Beverly Hills." [Socialite Life]
• The Heene family posted a note on the door of their Colorado home that reads, "Thank you for all of your support. We are not taking any interview any more. We are tired. Thank you. Heenes" [Us]
• Richard Heene's lawyer says he expects he'll be charged by Wednesday and when that happens Heene will plead not guilty. [TMZ]
• About two weeks ago Richard Heene posted a profile on RealityWanted.com advertising himself to casting agents and producers to be a reality star. [TMZ]
• Richard Heene was arrested in April 1997 in Los Angeles and charged with misdemeanor vandalism, vehicle tampering, and disturbing the peace. He plead no contest to the vandalism charge and was sentenced to 30 days in jail and 2 years probation. [TMZ]
• The FAA is investigating whether Richard Heene released the balloon without authorization. [TMZ]
• Shree Silver, who co-starred with Richard Heene on Wife Swap says he "had the mind of a mad scientist." Though he once threw milk on her she says, " I don't think he would be physically abusive." [People]
• David Hasselhoff may do a reality show. An A&E rep confirms, "We are discussing a possibility of doing a documentary series with David and his kids." [TMZ]
• After showing up 90 minutes late to a charity concert in Colorado Springs, DMX was told he couldn't perform. DMX, his bodyguards, and his fans got into a fight with concert security. There's video here: [TMZ]
• Simon Cowell is stepping up Leona Lewis' security since she was attacked at a book signing last week. "I was stunned anyone would want to attack her. We need to make sure she is protected," he said. [The Sun]
• Bethenny Frankel announced over the weekend that she's engaged, but is she pregnant too? A source says, "Bethenny premeditated all of this! She got pregnant and got engaged all for her own show." [Perez Hilton]
• Boy George says in prison, "You've got the classic picture of the balconies and the banging cups. I knew what to expect. I was quite hostile. Very hostile. And very grumpy. Not because I felt that way particularly, but because I felt it required that. The situation required me to be a bit feisty, a bit don't-fuck-with-me." [Daily Express]
• Randy and Evi Quaid didn't attend a court hearing in Santa Barbara this morning to settle their fraud case. The DA is giving them another chance to show up next Monday, but if they don't appear he'll have them extradited from Texas. [TMZ, Radar Online]
• Laura Dern has been cast as the headmistress of an elementary school in the Meet The Fockers sequel Little Fockers. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Michelle Obama will appear on The Jay Leno Show on Friday via satellite. [Entertainment Tonight]
• Stephen Moyer is walking with a cane after tearing his meniscus while playing with his kids. "I'd like to say it as some kind of thrusting, sexy injury," he said. "But it really isn't." [People]
• Jenna Fisher, who fell down a staircase and broke her back in four places says, "Before the accident, I wore size 26 jeans! I was truly in the best shape of my life. Afterward, I gained 10 lbs. and got flabby." But now, "I went shopping with my girlfriends recently, and I fit into my old-size jeans." [People]
• Jordan says, "Do you want to know the truth why we're not divorced? It's because it looks like Pete's still after my money. I texted him the other day and said, are you sticking to the pre-nup or are you after my money?" [The Sun]
• The Brits have nominated Jordan for Bounty Celebrity Mum of the Year. [The Mirror]
• The Tate Modern may have to destroy 12,000 catalogues for the Richard Prince exhibit Pop Life because they contain a nude picture of Brooke Shields taken when she was 10. [N.Y. Times]
• Wilmer Valderrama will star in a half hour sitcom based on the escapades of Dog Whisperer Cesar Millan. [People]
• Penn Badgley says dating Blake Lively may not have been the best idea. "Having a relationship with someone you work with might not always be the smartest move," he says. "But it's been wonderful to be in a relationship where we can both identify with what the other is experiencing." [Entertainment Tonight]
• Victoria Beckham will guest star on an episode of Gossip Girl A source says that at Posh's New York fashion show last month Blake Lively, "pleaded with her to guest star in an episode and ran the idea past producers." [Mirrow]
• Chris Kirkpatrick believes there may be an *NSYNC because, "You never know what the future holds. Anything could happen... We're all just being ourselves for a little while." We guess that Justin Timberlake will keep "being himself" for quite a long time." [People]
• "I've had some absolutely great relationships and some not so great relationships," says George Clooney. "I've been in some relationships where I've felt terribly alone. Just because you're with someone it doesn't mean you're incredibly happy and complete." [People]
• While accepting the Spike TV sci-fi actress award for Transformers 2 Megan Fox said, "I don't usually do this, but I wanted to say something,... There have been a lot of false reports about how I feel about this movie. I just want to be very clear that I've always felt I'm a very ordinary part of an extraordinary film." [Us]

• Paris Hilton's dogs live better than you do. She posted pictures via Twitter of their doghouse—for her 13 purse-sized dogs—that was designed as a mini version of her own home. [Daily Mail]

• Women who have had sex with David Carradine are beginning to come out of the woodwork, talking about the late actor's penchant for auto-erotica (which does not involve cars…maybe) and how he'd "spend days planning to construct elaborate sexual devices." [TMZ]
• The headline "FBI Allowed To Observe Carradine Probe" sounds super perverted after reading about Carradine's sex life. [CBS News]
• Diddy was seen leaving the home of Miley Cyrus. Maybe he prayed to baby Jesus for such an encounter with the star, just like Spencer Pratt did. [Perez Hilton]
• After all their back-and-forth publicity stunts on I'm a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here! Heidi and Spencer are actually trying to leave the Costa Rican jungle for good, but can't get clearance to fly from doctors who have treated Heidi there. [TMZ]
• NBC has released pictures of the "torture chamber" in which Heidi and Spencer claim they were held in solitary confinement for three days without food or water. NBC says the pair were in there for 14 hours and were given rice and beans, as well as water. [TMZ]
• Even Heidi's reps are saying that the couple's claims of abuse are false. [Us]
• Tila Tequila is "not currently pregnant." Phew! After Tweeting, and then un-Tweeting, that she was knocked up, she clarified the confusion by saying, "The point is…maybe I was pregnant, or maybe I wasn't pregnant. I think that is something very personal." She posted that on her MySpace Celebrity blog, BTW. [People]
• Bret Michaels has a fractured nose and a busted lip from his run-in with a piece of a set at last night's Tony Awards. He always sucked at head banging. [Yahoo]
• Britney Spears' conservators have filed a response to her former manager Sam Lutfi's lawsuit against her in which he seeks cash for unpaid work, as well as damages stemming from an "assault." [TMZ]
• Gwen Stefani will grace the cover of July's Elle, in which she discusses her future with No Doubt, saying, "Everybody's making it like there's all this tension, you know, like I stepped away from the band and now they're jealous of me." Yeah, who could've put that idea out there? (*Cough* "Don't Speak" video *Cough*) [Just Jared]
• Kelly Bensimon of Real Housewives of New York was ordered to two days of community service for assaulting her ex-boyfriend in March. Her charges will be removed from her record if she completes the work and stays out of trouble for a year, which is a good thing, since she wouldn't want her name attached to something like that. [TMZ]
• Katee Sackhoff—aka Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica—will be joining the cast of 24 as a series regular next season. Frack yeah. [EW]
• Chuck Bass wants people to stop calling him fat. [E!]
• Susan Boyle is back home, well, and with her beloved Pebbles. [People]
• Danny Boyle is getting the gang back together. The director has bought the rights to turn Maximum City: Bombay Lost and Found—a book penned by Slumdog Millionaire screenwriter Simon Beaufoy—into a movie that he is planning to shoot with his Slumdog team in Mumbai. [Telegraph]
• Here's news you don't get to hear that often: DMX doesn't have to go to jail. After pleading guilty to felony attempted aggravated assault, he was given 18 months probation. Yay! Party up (up in here)! [TMZ]
• Get ready for three more years of EVOO. CBS has renewed The Rachel Ray Show through 2012. [Mediaweek]
• CBS News says that Julia Roberts has a "brand new role" as a philanthropist because of her involvement with Paul Newman's Hole in the Wall Camps. The article then went on to talk about how Roberts has been involved with the organization for 13 years. [CBS News]
• Rosie O'Donnell is a fellow philanthropist, donating "in excess of $50 million" to various charities. [CBS News]
• Ashton Kutcher Tweeted that he's "gonna have nightmares" after helping his wife Demi Moore sort through her vast collection of rare dolls. There was no mention of whether any of the over 3000 dolls were robbed from a cradle. [Daily Express]
• Sherri Shepherd's Tweeting got her in trouble with her nutritional coach and trainer—who follow The View co-host on the networking site—after she posted about eating buffalo wings and fried calamari this weekend. [People]
• "Man of faith" Terry O'Quinn—who plays John Locke on Lost—was noticeably snubbed from the ballot of this year's Emmy nominations. [NY Mag]
• Pete Wentz spit on a paparazzo—who tried to take a picture of him and his wife Ashlee Simpson—at his birthday party in Vegas on Saturday night. He turned 30. [Perez Hilton]
• John Travolta will not be doing any press or promotional appearances for his latest film, The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 (which opens Friday) because he admittedly is still grieving the loss of his son Jett. [People]
• Are Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson back on? She's been meeting up with him on the road while Mötley Crüe is on tour, according to Vince Neil. But he also said it probably has to do with their kids. [Mirror]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin—as in Jon and Kate Plus 8— haven't been as lucky in the housing market as Paris' dogs. Their old home has been on the market for 89 days and isn't budging. Aren't they going to be needing separate residences soon anyway, to fit all their bodyguards and girlfriends? [People]
• The Humane Society is now after the Gosselins after receiving dozens of complaints about how the couple's children are abusive to the family dogs. [People]
• "He used to show me all the sex tapes of him before they got on the Internet." - John Stamos talking about hanging out with Bret Michaels when the two were neighbors a few years back. [NY Mag]
• "Could you imagine the same thing happening to Anthony Bourdain? He could have negotiated his way out with a bottle of Crown Royal and some Marlboro reds." - Margaret Cho in her call for action against North Korea's sentencing of journalists Euna Lee and Laura Ling. [MySpace via ONTD]
• "Obviously there's always people can say it's cheesy, it's whatever, but to me it feels real, to me it feels I truly do it because I feel it just feels real at that moment so I just can't stop." - Enrique Iglesias not making sense, but feeling real about it. [Mirror].
• "I'll always be grateful for the sound advice, the friendship, the inspiration that Jon [Voight] gave me. Hopefully, when I'm older and wiser, I can pass on the favor to someone else. Even if it is just my cellmate." - Shia LaBeouf. [ONTD]

• Eminem says Elton John helped him fight his drug addiction. "He had a substance-abuse problem in the past. So when I first wanted to get sober, I called him," explains Em.

• He continues, "He's somebody who's in the business and can identify and relate to the lifestyle and how hectic things can be. He understands, like, the pressure and any other reasons that you wanna come up with for doing drugs. Me and him have had similar lives and stuff. So I reached out to him and told him, 'Look, I'm going through a problem, and I need your advice.'" [The Daily Express]
• Eminem is sending everyone who pre-orders his new album Relapse from the official website a copy of the video for "3 a.m." Also, he Tweeted: "I'm giving away an extra free song with my album if you buy the Relapse CD. I'm still on the run, my darling." [Rolling Stone]
• Hollywood producer Jon Peters' tell-all book will reveal that Barbara Streisand dated Robert Redford, Ryan O'Neal and Kris Kristofferson. [UPI]
• Farrah Fawcett has dropped the lawsuit she filed over the iconic photo of her in a red swimsuit. [TMZ]
• Craig Nevius is suing Ryan O'Neal and others, because he says he was responsible for the Farrah Fawcett documentary that will air tomorrow on NBC, but was pushed out of the project and O'Neal "physically threatened him." [TMZ]
• Kevin and "Aunt " Jodi Kreider, brother and sister-in-law of Kate Gosselin on Jon and Kate Plus 8 say that Jon had to empty his 401K because Kate has been keeping the money they earned from their reality show to herself. [Star]
• In this video interview, Jodi Kreider says, "It's a very sad situation... This is going to affect these children terribly, if she goes for a divorce. I think right now Kate is very lost and very blinded by her actions and what she is doing — [she] is not being a mother that is nurturing and hands on." [Radar Online]
• Jesus Luz's dad says that Madonna and his son are indeed having some sort of commitment ceremony, but it won't be legally binding. "The Kabbalah ceremony (that) will link up my son Jesus Luz and Madonna only confirms that he is extremely happy. I don't know if there will, in fact, be a real marriage between Madonna and my son. It will be a type of ritual, but I do not know Kabbalah (or if the ceremony) will have legal validity." [The Daily Express]
• To celebrate his birthday Robert Pattinson went out to dinner with Kristen Stewart... and his parents, plus a few New Moon crew members. [E!]
• Andre Agassi and Steffi Graff are suing companies that they say illegally used their names in website domain names. [UPI]
• Ashley Olsen posed for a series of "shocking" pictures in V Man magazine, in which her hair is dark and she's wearing a bra top. Mostly they're shocking because she doesn't looks more mature than when she was 8. [The L.A. Times]
• Pearl Jam bassist Jeff Ament was jumped and robbed by three thugs with knives. The robbers smashed the window of his car and chased after him when he tried to get away. They made off with $7,000 and Ament suffered a laceration on his head, but he's OK and the whole thing was caught on a security camera. [TMZ]
• Glenn Close wrote on the Huffington Post about her trip to prison for The Oprah Winfrey Show to talk about the Puppies Behind Bars program, in which inmates train service dogs. The footage will air on Friday's show. [The Huffington Post]
• Simon Cowell says in an interview with PETA, "I think it's nice that [the Obamas] have made an issue of buying a dog for the kids. What I think would be great would be if they also took in a shelter dog, just from anywhere, to balance it. I'll even pay for the dog food!" [Entertainment Weekly]
• Bette Midler has some unsolicited dating advice for Jennifer Aniston: "She should find somebody who is really hot, who's not in show business. Somebody with a lot of money, and she should live the large life and forget about these a—holes. She's a great girl. She's got everything going for her." Um, thanks? [People]
• In this video a homeless woman defends Katharine McPhee from the paparazzi: [Perez Hilton]
• Katie Price's management company will no longer represent her, but they're sticking with her husband Peter Andre, who recently announced he's divorcing her. [Mirror]
• Steven Speilburg says he created the video game "Boom Box" because he wanted a game that all of his seven children could play. He said he plays just about every video game that comes out and is a big fan of the Wii. "It's been very, very good for a parent like me who wants our kids not to be couch potatoes, but to get up and move their bodies around more," said Spielberg. [Reuters]
• James Tupper says of his newborn son with Anne Heche, "It's a bit like having an unreasonable employer. He doesn't give breaks." [People]
• Survivor winner Richard Hatch has been moved to a halfway house from the federal prison where he was serving his sentence for not paying taxes on his $1 million prize. [Yahoo]
• Hugh Jackman says he wasn't uncomfortable while giving his son "the talk." He said, "My dad never ever did it with me so I was very adamant that I was going to do it with my son." Jackman also told his son, "You just got to respect girls. But he goes, 'Dad are they hot, though?' That's what he always wants to know. I try to tell him that he not use me to get to them." [People]
• Shanna Moakler, who quit the Miss California USA organization because of Carrie Prejean called Ryan Seacrest's radio show this morning when she was very upset. You can listen here: [Perez Hilton]
• Morrissey has cancelled another show, but it's still not clear what illness he's suffering from. [BBC]
• Martin Scorsese may want Leonardo DiCaprio for the upcoming Frank Sinatra biopic, but the studio wants Johnny Depp. We don't see either in the role. Suggestions? [Deadline Hollywood Daily]
• Scotland Yard officials are considering cutting back on police protection for junior members of the royal family because the bill comes to £50 million a year. [The Daily Mail]
• Janice Dickinson attacked the paparazzi last night. You can check out the video and decide whether you think she was on something or not. [Perez Hilton]
• DMX was released from jail today after serving 90 days for cruelty to animals, possession of narcotic drugs, theft and possession of marijuana. [TMZ]
• Kevin Smith discussed why he decided to direct the film A Couple of Dicks, starring Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan, Which he didn't write. He says, "After Zack and Miri - or after, rather, the collapse of Zack and Miri - I was just like, I don't feel like writing anything right now. I read it and I was like, this is like Lethal Weapon with 40 percent less action, which is something I can get my head around. On 30 Rock, one of the posters in Tracy's office is for a movie called Black Cop / White Cop, so when it was announced people were just like,"It's Black Cop / White Cop!" But it's not race-specific. It's not, "He's a white cop who plays it by the book. And he's a slaphappy black dude who's gonna teach him how to misbehave and be a real cop!" It's two guys who are longtime partners who kind of depend on the friendship." [New York Magazine]
• Mariska Hargitay is on Capitol Hill with her family for the second day in a row. [Politico]
• Dateline is devoting an entire hour to Taylor Swift later this month. Remember when that was a new show? [AP]
• In her Goop newsletter, Gwyneth Paltrow advised that people should play Coldplay if they are looking for good party music. "Gwyneth Paltrow is not a music expert but is an avid listener and knows how to get down," she wrote. [The Daily Express]
• There's more talk about cougars here from Vivica A. Fox, if you can stand it. [CBS News]
• Tori Spelling says when she was pregnant she was afraid of having a girl. "It turns out that Stella is a total mama's girl," she says of her 11-month-old. "For all my fears, without my even trying, Stella wants her mama. When she is in [husband] Dean's arms, she lunges for me the way Liam did for him." [People]
• Here's Winona Ryder's secret to looking young, according to a friend: "She is a very healthy eater, and I think that is a big part of it," says Collea. "It sounds boring, but the girl eats a lot of salads. And you know those giant Big Gulps cups that most people fill with soda? She's got hers filled with water." [People]
• Roadside Attractions bought the worldwide distribution right to Good Hair a documentary Chris Rock made about African-American hair culture after his daughter asked him, "Daddy, how come I don't have good hair?" [Variety]

• Rihanna is currently on a beach in Mexico, and this picture on the cover of the NY Daily News is the first we've seen of her in a long while. [NY Daily News]

• Chris Brown's March 5 arraignment may be postponed because the LAPD is still investigating the case. A source told E! News, "The D.A. is being even more thorough than usual with this case. They don't want to mess it up." [E!]
• Kevin Federline is starting his own children's clothing line because he doesn't want to pay a lot for jeans. He says: "It's a really tough business, I'm trying to take it seriously and make a quality product for kids but not have parents pay like $500 or something ridiculous for a pair of jeans. You buy your kids a pair of True Religions, then they roll around in the dirt like kids do and a $200 pair of jeans is gone. With this economy, I'm looking to do something much more reasonable." Uh… All you have to do is shop at The Children's Place or Old Navy or Target or somewhere they don't sell True Religion for children. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Meanwhile, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are suing baby buggy company Silver Cross, claiming the manufacturer unlawfully used a picture of the celebrity parents pushing twins Emme and Max in their strollers. Don't you know if you want J. Lo and Marc to endorse your product, you have to pay? [E!]
• It's hard to focus on this story about how Lily Allen likes naked lapdances and partying with Lindsay Lohan because the picture of Lily and Lindsay wearing black masks and showing off their "shh" tattoos is oddly mesmerizing. Question: Did we ever figure out what LL meant when she said the "shh" tattoo was a "woman empowerment thing"? [The Sun]
• Katie Holmes may be working on a flick in New York, but she plays "fourth fiddle" behind Kevin Kline, Paul Dano and John C. Reilly. Fox's Roger Friedman calls her movie career "over." [Fox 411]
• Slumdog's Dev Patel is in talks to appear on the real Who Wants To Be A Millionaire to raise cash for kids living on the streets. [The Sun]
• What's next for the stars of Slumdog? Lots more movies. [NY Daily News]
• Madonna is helping Rosie O'Donnell get through menopause. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Dita Von Teese signed a record deal. She will be singing now. Of course, she won't be warbling "All The Single Ladies" or anything: She plans to cover Irving Berlin's "Lazy." [E!]
• Keira Knightley was to play Cordelia in a £25 million film version of King Lear, but it's been scrapped. [Telegraph]
• Peaches Geldof was not allowed to drink at the NME awards; she placed an alcohol ban on herself. [Daily Mail]
• Jay Leno was questioned by a Writers Guild panel yesterday; they are trying to determine if he violated strike rules by delivering a monologue last year (during the strike). [Variety]
• LOL: Ever since Kellogg's dumped Michael Phelps, there have been oodles of negative stories about the brand. [Silicon Alley Insider]
• DMX is in jail, where he is not behaving himself: He stole a tray of food from the dining hall and threw it at a corrections officer. How would they handle this on Oz? [Perez]
• Chris Isaak has his own talk show, The Chris Isaak Hour, on the Bio channel. It starts tonight! Guests play songs and chat and hang out with Chris's dog. [USA Today]
• If you get divorced, the guys you date afterward, who put a "spark" back in your heartbroken life — Jennifer Aniston calls them "defibrillator men." [Daily Mail]
• "Big Poppa" has moved in with Real Housewives' Kim Zolciak. Yeah, he's married. [NY Daily News]
• In case you've been wondering what the hell she's been up to, Kate Bosworth is producing the film based on a book called Lost Girls and Love Hotels. [Gatecrasher]
• What the world needs now: A Jerry Seinfeld marriage-oriented reality show. Celebs, comedians and athletes will "judge couples in the midst of marital disputes while recommending various strategies to resolve their problems." I thee dread! [Hollywood Reporter]
• Brenda Blethyn opened a new library in her hometown and paid a fine for a book she borrowed 50 years ago. Bet Hortense loves this one. [The Sun]
• Clint Eastwood is the second person ever to received a lifetime achievement honor from the organizers of the Cannes Film Festival; he hot the Palme D'Or yesterday. Ingmar Bergman got one in 1997. [Reuters]
• The James Brown museum may be on hold, but there is a James Brown exhibit at South Carolina State University. See glittering suits and glossy shoes and the comb he used to neatly sculpt his hair. [AP]
• Star Jones's ex, Al Reynolds, is maybe getting engaged again, if you care. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which sleazy reality star is going to have a cow when he finds out there's a sex tape of him floating around? In it, he's having a threesome with his very best friend." [Gatecrasher]
• "I'm probably a little bit shocked but I remember the overwhelming thing was feeling like I was just floating on a cloud. I went into that event knowing that was my last rally but no one else knew that. So when I crashed and I realised we were both OK, it was a massive relief." — Eric Bana, on crashing his race car during a Tasmanian rally. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I sincerely hope that this tragedy will make people realize that great apes should never be kept as pets or exploited for films, television, or advertising. Their lives are miserable from the day that they are taken from their mothers... until they are cast off to roadside zoos or meet a violent end, as Travis did in this tragic case." — Anjelica Huston, on the chimpanzee attack. [Daily Express]
• "I think that at 12:30, either you're awake or you're not. I don't think the 10 p.m. will affect me at all. If we can do decent ratings, hold on to Conan's numbers, I'll be happy. It's a marathon, not a race. It's a long, long thing if it's going to work." — Jimmy Fallon. [USA Today]
• "The stars made by television who were once so big you just couldn't believe it-Johnny Carson, Carol Burnett, people like that, Sid Caesar-they were enormous stars made by television, but there were lots of real stars in America. Now everything is so vitiated because there is so much media, if we want to dignify a lot of it, it begins to just all run together. At least when you said "Clark Gable" or "Elizabeth Taylor" or "Katharine Hepburn," you knew exactly who you were talking about, you didn't have to explain them. Now you have to talk about people like Paris Hilton and Britney Spears and the people on the American Idol. I mean, it's very diminished in quality, I guess is what I'd say, the quality of stardom. Because I don't know who most of those people are. I'm not kidding! I read Page Six mystified every day, and everybody I talk to agrees with me. They don't know who anybody is." — Liz Smith. [The Daily Beast]
• "A real gossip story is Lana Turner's daughter killing Johnny Stompanato. It had all kinds of tragic ramifications-celebrity, sex, a little girl involved and so forth. I mean, who cares if somebody you've never heard of is sniffing cocaine in a bathroom down in Soho? That's the level of gossip today. There seems to me to be no real stories and the real ones all appear in the headlines-A-Rod taking steroids, though why anybody gives a shit I don't understand. You know, the real story of this year is Bernie Madoff, and betrayal, disaster and everything else, lives being smashed and ruined by somebody's criminal activity. But gossip? Even the ‘90s are beginning to look good." — Liz Smith. [The Daily Beast]
• "I thought that was something that you could use for humor, like any other comedian or someone else would utilize current events. After I saw the photographs of Rihanna, that wasn't funny anymore. There's a point you're already past a woman fighting you back. You look at (the photograph), and it obviously went past that point, so there's some issues there that definitely gotta be addressed. Not to take any shots at Chris or Rihanna or to take sides in any way, but it's really not cool. It's not funny at all anymore. That's why there won't be no more references to that from me in any way." — 50 Cent, who initially mocked the Rihanna/Chris Brown incident with a "Street Fighter"- like characters in an animated video. [MSNBC]
• "I was average. I had a lot of friends but I was not in that ultra cool circle. I was a bit of a class clown. I guess to get through the tedium of the quadratic formula, I thought everyone was fair game. Between self-discovery and the social hierarchy, high school can be the most confusing time of your life." — Zac Efron. [Mirror]
• "I'm so negative against her. She just shouldn't have any of those children as far as I'm concerned. I know that's going to get me in a whole mess of trouble, but I don't know where her mind is. She says the strangest things. I don't think she's doing drugs, but she acts like someone who is not of this world. It's like, 'hello, come down to Planet Earth with the rest of us!'" —Cher, on Nadya Suleman. [USA Today via ET]
• "My mom is like this hard-core, liberal feminist. She's a professor in Boston, and she's been teaching women's studies for 30 years and international politics. So I've traveled, and I've heard so many women's stories, and I've heard stories of really, really hard lives. And I just feel like there are so many stories to be told, and it's hard to find someone who can sort of intertwine them with the right kind of action and suspense and use genius metaphors ... while striking a chord with the universal theme of the search for one's true identity. I asked Joss [Whedon] to create it with me and for me, and it was really special to me." — Eliza Dushku, star of Dollhouse. [USA Today]

• The fallout from Chris Brown's arrest for allegedly attacking Rihanna continued today, even as the District Attorney's office said they needed police to do more investigative work to find out what really happened.

• Chief investigator Detective Deshon Andrews hand carried case documents to the DA today because he won't allow any copies to be made to prevent photos and documents from leaking to the media. The LAPD has also denied media requests to hear the 911 call, which Andrews said is mostly of "a screaming woman." Police did not identify the woman as Rihanna, but said she "suffered visible injuries and identified Brown as her attacker." [CNN]
• Ugh, now a "highly placed source" in Chris Brown's legal camp is suggesting that Rihanna started the fight after Brown got a phone call from a woman with whom she suspects he is cheating. "She went ballistic and began to "beat the sh*t" out of Chris (while driving). She was so uncontrollable, that Chris began to fight back in self defense, which ensued the fight," said the source. [Bossip]
• But other sources say "Chris knocked her around" and that Rihanna suffered a black eye, a swollen split lip, and two red and purple contusions on either side of her forehead. An unidentified friend says Rihanna is "in a safe place" now and adds, "I would be so sad if she went back to him." [People]
• Rihanna's grandma denies that she has a broken nose, and says, "I don't want people to worry. Rihanna is fine and she is doing well." [Perez Hilton]
• T.I. says he spoke to Chris Brown and he is "cool." He added that people shouldn't be so quick to judge Brown because, "you people gotta remember, we celebrities and we entertainers but we still human. All of us. Don't expect us not to make mistakes ‘cause we will." Here we must agree with Perez Hilton, who remarked, "Since when is beating on a woman a 'mistake'?" [Perez Hilton]
• Kanye West discussed the situation on a radio show this morning and had a lot of kind things to say about Rihanna. "It's so devastating. As a person, I don't care how famous she is or if she just worked at McDonald's, that should never happen. It should never come to that place," said Kanye. [Just Jared]
• Chris Brown's "Got Milk?" ads were scheduled to end this week and the company said they will not be using him once the run ends. [Entertainment Tonight]
• A Pittsburgh radio station has decided to stop playing Chris Brown's music. Will other stations follow their example? [WPXI]
• Tameka Foster, Usher's wife, is still in a Brazilian hospital suffering from "complications from routine surgery." The hospital refused to release information on her condition, saying "the family has demanded total privacy." [Yahoo]
• The lawyers in Britney's conservatorship case got permission to withdraw more money from her accounts because she needs to hire more lawyers to defend her against Sam Lufti's defamation case. The two lawyers will cost a total of $935 an hour. [TMZ]
• This is an interesting eight minute video about Salma Hayek's humanitarian trip to Sierra Leone. But the only part anyone cares about is that she breastfeeds a sick baby that is not her own five minutes into the video. [D Listed]
• Salma Hayek says she thinks of her current boyfriend and ex-finace Francois-Henri Pinault when she is kissing Alec Baldwin on 30 Rock. Also, their baby is 16 months old and speaks English, French, and Spanish. [People]
• Simon Cowell: still a jerk. Reports that he saved Fantasia Barrino's house from foreclosure are untrue. [Showbiz Spy]
• Anne Heche will star in the new HBO series Hung as the ex-wife of the main character, Ray, a "well-endowed, struggling high school basketball coach." [UPI]
• In the next chapter of the Hillary Duff-Faye Dunaway feud, Duff says: "[Dunaway] started acting way later than I did so I think I have time to grow and grow with each project. I am learning and work hard at my craft… [What I said was mean but] it's not okay for people to take stabs at you and to say mean things for no reason." [Just Jared]
• Cybill Shepard will star in a new comedy on Lifetime called Alligator Point. Shepard will star as the owner of Mae's Oyster Bar, "a Southern-fried hangout where a group of eccentric Floridians are forced to befriend a Yankee." And it gets weirder: the pilot was directed by Kelsey Grammar and it was originally developed as a pilot for NBC seven years ago starring Nathan Fillion and Jaimie Pressly. [Entertainment Weekly]
• Seven of the people at the party where Michael Phleps was photographed smoking pot have been arrested, along with the owner of the house who did not attend the party. Police have also confiscated the bong, which the owner was trying to sell on eBay for $100,000. [WIS10]
• Though Justin Timberlake developed the concept for the NYC BBQ and ribs restaurant Southern Hospitality, that's where his involvement ends. He's still friends with the owner and eats at the restaurant, but is not an investor or partner in the business. [People]
• DMX is in solitary confinement for 23 hours in an Arizona jail because he refused to report for his mandatory job, did not show up to receive his medication and then demanded it an hour later. [Perez Hilton]
• A source says John Mayer wrote Jennifer Aniston a special song for her 40th birthday tomorrow. Is this the same song we learned about earlier, which is based on something dumb Jen told him about love? [People]
• Queen Latifah will sing the song "I'll Be Seeing You" during the In Memoriam montage at the Oscars this year. [The Mirror]
• According to the father of another Russian tennis player, Maria Sharapova isn't absent from professional tennis because of an injury, but because she is concentrating on a love affair. [The Daily Express]
• Patrick Swayze has written a letter to legislators urging them to increase funding to the National Institute of Health for the fight against cancer. [E!]
• Hit hard by the recession: Paris Hilton. The company that holds the licenses for all of her products reported dismal 4th quarter earnings. [Fashion Rules]
• The Jonas Brother say that Sasha and Malia Obama were "so grateful, so nice, so composed and so awesome," when they met them on the night of the Inauguration. They performed "Love Bug" and "SOS" for the girls and gave them guitars. [Access Hollywood]
• Lauren Conrad is renting the four bedroom house where The Hills was filmed, for $11,000 a month. It even includes a guest house for roommates you want to shun. [TMZ]
• Michelle Pfeiffer, who turned 50 last year, says she is getting offered more interesting roles now, and that "It seems my leading men keep getting younger the older I get." She explains, "It seems people have an aversion about casting me with men my age. Lucky for me; I don't really mind." [Yahoo]
• Ashton Kutcher edited a video on his Twitter page to make it look like the paparazzi were harassing him at LAX, but a TMZ video shows there were only three photographers there and they were friendly. [TMZ]
• KISS singer Paul Stanley and his wife Erin welcomed their second child, a baby girl named Sarah, on January 28. "Erin and I feel truly blessed with the addition of this Star Child into our lives," said Stanley. [People]
• In a poll of 2,000 people to determine the 20 most timeless film beauties, Audrey Hepburn finished first, beating out Angelina Jolie. [The Telegraph]
• Vincent Pastore, a.k.a. "Big Pussy" on The Sopranos, has settled a lawsuit with his ex-fiance for $150,000. His ex, Lisa Regina, was suing him because she claimed he roughed her up after a fight in her car. [NY Post]
• Scarlett Johansson says she wasn't trying to copy Marilyn Monroe in her recent Dolce & Gabanna ad campaign. "I am a curvy woman who is blonde, and perhaps we are both comfortable in our femininity, but I think that is as far as the comparison goes," says Johansson. So that makes Johansson just about the only starlet who doesn't want to be compared to Marilyn. [The Daily Express]

• Updates on the Chris Brown and Rihanna incident:

He is holed up in a Hollywood hotel; she is perhaps more seriously injured that originally reported — she has bite marks on her skin. She's supposed to be playing Malaysia on Friday but may cancel and head to Barbados, where she was raised. [E!, USA Today]

• Rihanna is now out of the hospital and has postponed her concert in Malaysia. Also, the charges filed against Chris Brown — suspicion of making criminal threats — means the victim "is in fear for [his/her] life." [Yahoo News via E!]
• This report claims Rihanna suffered tow "huge contusions" on her forehead as well as a bloody lip and nose. [TMZ]
• A cop called the injuries "horrific." [NY Daily News]
• Oh no: Is it true that Rihanna will not file criminal charges against Chris Brown and is no longer assisting investigators? [Media Take Out]
• No, this report says she is cooperating with the LAPD. [UPI]
• When Chris Brown was on Tyra, he talked about his abusive stepfather and said, "I would never hurt a woman." [Perez]
• Chris Brown has pulled out of his scheduled appearance at Sunday's NBA All-Star Game. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Chris Brown's career may be over, since he was known for a squeaky-clean image. [AP]
• The LA Times is defending it decision to out Rihanna as the victim of Chris Brown's domestic violence case. A reporter explains: "The Times has a blanket policy when it comes to not naming victims of sexual assault. There isn't a set policy when it comes to physical assault or a criminal threat. In that case, there's a decision internally and on a case-by-case basis of whether to name somebody. In this case, obviously there was a discussion among the editors about this. The nature of this case - against the backdrop of the Grammy's, the delay in changing things, the explanations put out by both camps - the decision was made that this was fair game." [E&P]
• Wow. Britney Spears has rehired her former assistant, Felicia Culotta, who was with Britney for years and is a true friend. Good news. [Perez Hilton]
• Before the Baftas, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie didn't have dinner at one of London's "posh" restaurants but chose a 40-seat "local curry house" instead. Claudia Schiffer and Robert Downey Jr. were also there, and the group ate vegetable samosas, tandoori lamb chops and the house special, lamb passanda. [Telegraph]
• When Brad and Angie got home the kids were "running up and down the hallway" at the hotel and guests had complained about the noise. How much do you want to bet Maddox was the instigator? [The Sun]
• Tomorrow is the big day: Jennifer Aniston turns 40! [NY Daily News]
• Miley Cyrus has issued a real apology for that racially insensitive picture in which she was seen slanting her eyes. Unlike last time, she uses the word "sorry." [Perez]
• Lily Allen is in the U.S. to promote her album! She'll do Today, The Tonight Show and visit with Oprah and Ellen. Will she show off her third nipple? [Mirror]
• Why won't Gwyneth Paltrow walk the red carpet with Chris Martin or have their pictures taken as a couple? "It's cheesy," she says. "I mean, who wants to live like that?" [Fox 411]
• After the Grammys, Chris Martin stayed out partying and Gwyneth was nowhere to be found. [NY Daily News]
• Ben Affleck wants a son he can dress in Red Sox gear. [Mirror]
• Is Guy Ritchie moving to New York to be closer to his kids? [Mirror]
• Christian Bale's sister Sharon has heard the audio of his rant on the set of Terminator and says: "He seems to be incredibly stressed and angry at the moment. I think he might need help." She's reminded of last summer's incident in a London hotel, when Bale "attacked" her and their mother. "He verbally attacked us," Sharon claims. "He spoke in the same aggressive way he did to that lighting engineer. I wouldn't have minded so much but it was in front of my family and three children." [National Enquirer via Telegraph]
• Hmm, seems like Cate Blanchett will play Maid Marian in Ridley Scott's Robin Hood movie — the role Sienna Miller was "too young" for. Not-exactly-nimble Russell Crowe is the leading man. [Variety]
• Heath Ledger fans would like to see the character of The Joker retire from film, so that Ledger's portrayal is the final word. One fan explains: "We think this psycho in scarred whiteface is the best ever. No one can improve it. So please, Hollywood, use other enemies in the sequels to come." [Wired]
• Apparently Paris Hilton told Paul McCartney she'd love to do a duet with him. She also said of his hair: "It's just like in The Beatles. It's so cute." She must be stopped. Why does she even get invited places? [The Sun]
• Mickey Rourke tried to hook up with an actress named Abi Titmuss after the Baftas; she had to tell him: "No, I won't be sleeping with you tonight, Mickey." Also: Rourke took a sleeping pill before the awards to "calm his nerves" and was seen staggering around with a champagne bottle. [The Sun]
• Mickey Rourke's speech at the Baftas: "Salty." He said: "Thank you to BAFTA, to Optimum Pictures, to Fox Searchlight, to [director] Darren Aronofsky, who gave me a second chance after I fucked up my career for 15 years... I want to thank my agent, who put his career in jeopardy by representing me several years ago, David Unger... I want to thank my publicist, Paula Woods, for having the hardest job in show business — telling me where to go, what to do, when to do it, what to eat, what to dress, what to fuck… Oh God, it's such a pleasure to be here and be back out of the darkness." [UPI]
• For his flick The International, Clive Owen had to run through a busy market in Istanbul with a gun in his hand because they couldn't get permission to shut the market down. He says: "I had a security guy very close to me but some of the reactions were pretty shocking. People would see the gun and just laugh. If it was New York or London I'd be put up against the wall if I was running through the streets with a gun - no matter who I was." The Turkish were unfazed. [Daily Express]
• Fatherhood is Clive Owen's favorite role right now, you guys. Read about how his daughters are obsessed with Friends. [USA Today]
• Speaking of Clive, he stars with Julia Roberts in Duplicity, and this article is about her return to the screen as a leading lady. [NY Times]
• Kylie Minogue, her sister Dannii and Natalie Imbrugllia will host a benefit show in London for the victims of the Australian bush fires. [This Is London]
• Fore! Samuel L. Jackson has signed on to narrate a documentary about African-American pioneers in golf. [Daily Express]
• Congrats to Kelis, who is pregnant; her husband, rapper Nas, is the father. [Mirror]
• DMX is in jail but has threatened to fight the guards, saying he would "assault somebody to get some respect." He also announced: "Y'all gonna make me lose my mind up in here." [TMZ]
• ABC will film Siegfried & Roy's final farewell performance for a special edition of 20/20. We have a feeling the "one-night, one-time illusion" will probably involve them disappearing. [UPI]
• Oh dear: the original cop is suing the Village People. Insert "Macho Man" joke here. [AP]
• Bob Marley's face on clothes, food and video games? [WSJ]
• Blind item! "Which beauty's marriage dissolved when she was caught having an affair with a man Down Under? Her husband wasn't bothered that she was pregnant with the other man's child - just that she was indiscreet." [Gatecrasher]
• "It stinks! Those boys are slovenly and have garbage and clothes everywhere. You'd think they were living in a frat house!" — An insider on the home of Gossip Girl's Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick. [NY Daily News]
• "If I waited too long, it's because we were supposed to do other things. If it is just too late? There are millions of children on this planet that I would be honored to call my own." — Sandra Bullock on being 44 and not having had a biological child. [People via InStyle]
• "[Kim's] the first girl that's ever cooked a meal for me. That's honestly how she got me - with the food! She cooked one of my favorite meals, cornbread, macaroni and cheese, candy yams and fried chicken and it was ridiculously good. My boys were there and the first thing they said was, 'she's a keeper!'" — Reggie Bush on Kim Kardashian's skills. [MSNBC via OK!]
• "I've been very lucky in the last few years, haven't I? I'm where I want to be, really, in terms of the opportunities I'm getting and the people I'm working with. If it keeps going like it is and I keep working with the caliber of people I've been working with, I'm just thankful." — Clive Owen. [USA Today]
• "My breasts, my face, liposuction, a tummy tuck, a leg lift. I've had everything you can think of except for my eyes and lips. I wouldn't touch them" — Sharon Osbourne on her plastic surgery to Ladies' Home Journal. [Page Six]
• "I have 10 songs, and three of them I think are really good. The others are pretty crap, but we're working on them." — Joaquin Phoenix, on his rap career. [MSNBC]
• "I love the storytelling aspects of hip-hop, but I love the wordplay, as well. I just think the rhyming is fantastic, and I love, like, the raw emotion of it." — Joaquin Phoenix. [AP]
• "I didn't actually lose it. But nobody knows where it is at the moment." — Angelina Jolie on her Oscar, which she gave to her mother; her mom died in 2007. [Variety]
• "I think you're born an artist. It's like being gay. You're born gay, and then you discover that's who you are over a period of time in a world where maybe being gay is not the normal thing. Then you look it in the eye and you say thank you, and you put it in your heart and you lock it up and you go. When you're 12 years old and making clothes with plastic flowers attached to them, and trying to choreograph shows at your school that are entirely too sexy — you start to be like, Okay, this is my aesthetic. My aesthetic is in so many ways exactly the same as it was when I was younger, I'm just smarter. And I know how to execute the ideas. And I have a bigger budget." — Lady GaGa. [EW]
• "I just don't feel that it's all that sexy. It's weird. And uncomfortable. I look at photos of myself, and I look like such a tranny! It's amazing! I look like Grace Jones, androgynous, robo, future fashion queen. It's not what is sexy. It's graphic, and it's art. But that's what's funny: Well, yeah, I take my pants off, but does it matter if your pants are off if you've got eight-inch shoulder pads on, and a hood, and black lipstick and glasses with rocks on them? I don't know. That's sexy to me. But I don't really think anybody's dick is hard, looking at that. I think they're just confused, and maybe a little scared. It's more Manson to me than it is sexy." — Lady GaGa. Click for more amazing quotes! [EW]

• Guy Richie will not fight ex-wife Madonna's plans to move their children to the United States, claiming that he would rather keep his children together than tear them apart with a nasty custody battle. [Mirror]

• ""It is quite simple in Guy's eyes - Rocco comes before him. He has always put Rocco and David's future ahead of his own and this is why he has relented," says a source, "He is adamant he wants to keep the boys and their sister Lourdes together. He does not want to tear them apart from each other. Guy is telling Rocco and David he will still see them a lot.He is already making plans to visit the children in America and looking at the possibility of them having holidays in England."[Mirror]
• Nick Lachey is the latest member of the "Leave Jessica Alone!" brigade: "I can't believe it's this big of a story and people are making such a huge deal about it. I'm never ceased to be amazed by people's reaction to things," Lachey says, "I hope she's happy, whatever size she comes in. I wish her nothing but the best." [People]
• And Heidi Klum agrees with him: "there are always people who are quick to offer an opinion and when you are in the public eye, people will always talk about you and put their opinions on you. That's what you get when you're in the public eye. But people need to be happy with the way they are." [People]
• As does Simpson's brother-in-law, Pete Wentz: "I think the media puts too harsh of a spotlight on women in general and I think it's a bummer. It's bad for young women. I see it affecting young girls who come to our shows and that's a bummer. Real beauty is on the inside, man." [NME]
• Is Katie Holmes afraid to leave Tom Cruise? A source says yes: "As much as Tom loves her now, Katie believes that if she left him, he'd make it difficult for her to see their daughter Suri. She's already seen how that would play out - because after Tom and Nicole Kidman divorced, he pretty much took control of their two children. Before Tom, she always had loads of friends and loved to go out. Now she must feel like she's living Tom's life, not her own."[ShowbizSpy]
• Uh-oh: did 30 Rock steal material from the Sarah Silverman Program?[Videogum]
• Britney Spears' father, Jamie, has just filed restraining orders against Britney's ex-boyfriend, Adnan Ghalib, and ex-manager, Sam Lutfi, claiming that the two men "are now working in concert to disrupt the conservatorship with utter disregard for Ms. Spears's health and well being." [People]
• Tom Jones is keeping it classy on his new tour, ladies: the singer says he's stopped dyeing his hair and won't be encouraging the underwear tossing that has dominated his past shows. "I don't capitalize on it as much as I used to," Jones says,"I used to pick it up and do shtick with it and all that, which I stopped doing because it was encouraging it." [AP]
• Amy Adams is still trying to balance celebrity and her everyday life: "I'll pick up my allergy medication and the pharmacist will say, 'I love you'. I'll be like, 'I'm just glad I'm not picking up something embarrassing.' Suddenly you realise you're not a private person any more. It's okay, just jarring, to realise that everything you do can be scrutinised or evaluated. But don't get me wrong, I'm so grateful for where I'm at."[Independent]
• Kimora Lee Simmons, who recently announced her pregnancy with Djimon Hounsou, has finally finalized her divorce from (now) ex-husband Russell. Yahoo]
• Evangeline Lilly is auctioning off a line of lingerie on Ebay to support Task Brazil, a charity that "provides housing, aid and guidance to children and teens living on the streets of the South American nation." Lilly says: "Here on eBay I'm offering beautiful, Brazilian-made lingerie as a fun, enticing way for you to not only invest in yourself but in the poor and abandoned children of Brazil." [E!]
• Steve Martin: Action Star? "I've always dreamed of doing an action movie," Martin says, "I'm very proud of the movies I've done and I have done some action scenes but I would have loved to have gone all out with all guns blazing like those guys, just once."[ShowbizSpy]
• Sex and the City creator Michael Patrick King admits that he had to fight to cast Jennifer Hudson in the first film: "It can't be called Sex and the City without a little color—it's just wrong," King says, "Women are very nice when they figure out who I am. And the only negative comment I ever got about the series was every now and then, some woman of color—whether it'd be Latina or an African-American—they'd stop and say, 'Where are the sisters?' in my ear, and I was like, 'Yeah, where are they?'"[Yahoo]
• My 7th grade love, Val Kilmer, will be the celebrity king of the Krewe of Bacchus parade in New Orleans on Feb. 22. [AP]
• Taylor Swift had to deal with some serious Mean Girls growing up: "I had a group of friends when I was about 12. [Then] they all just decided they didn't wanna hang out with me anymore. I would go and sit down at the lunch table with my friends. And they would get up and move their trays to another table," Swift tells Katie Couric. Maybe because you wore sweatpants? Or a ponytail more than once a week? [CBS]
• Robert Pattinson continues his "answering dumb questions with even dumber answers tour," claiming that he doesn't like to tell people he's an actor because "It's kinda cheesy, so I prefer to say I do something else. I don't like the word 'acting'. I prefer the word 'creating,' because I want to build a character with an idea that turns into something that people will remember." Oh, dude. Dude! Stop it![ShowbizSpy]
• DMX, or as I like to call him, Mr. Earl Simmons, has been sentenced to 90 days in jail for various charges, including animal cruelty. Goodbye, Earl! [Mirror]
• And finally, in beautiful people news, Brad Pitt admits that his life is chaotic, but he loves every minute of it: "It's chaos at times, but there's such joy in the house," Pitt says. And as for the lady in his life? "Angelina and I are together because we can enhance each other. I don't want to waste any time because I'm with company I really, really love." He then added, "I'm sevvvven, but I look a lot olllderrr." Ok no, that was me. I can't stop doing my Benjamin Button impression, you guys. It's becoming a serious problem. It's starting to scarrrre myyy dogggg. [People]

• A stupid psychic has made some predictions for 2009: Michelle Williams will wed Neil Patrick Harris, Jen and Angelina will co-star in a movie and Tina Fey will fight Sarah Silverman. [Page Six]

• Matt Dillon was arrested in Vermont last night for excessive speeding. He was going 106 m.p.h. on Interstate 91. [WCAX]
• After only six episodes, MTV has decided to pull 50 Cent's bizarre/just plain terrible Apprentice knock-off, The Money and the Power. We never thought we'd say this to anyone but: 50, stop trying to be P. Diddy. [Perez Hilton]
• Speaking of Puff: he's telling British newspapers that he wants to be the US's first black James Bond and that he thought he was dreaming when Obama was elected POTUS. [Times UK]
• The BBC decided to pull Paul McCartney's squeaking, "trans-racial" impersonation of Michael Jackson during a recent interview because it might been seen as offensive. [Telegraph]
• OMG: Mariah Carey is currently in talks to make a Broadway musical about her life. She has been considering Vanessa Hudgens, Eva Longoria and Leona Lewis to play her in the sure-to-be-amazing production. [Telegraph]
• JLo and Marc Anthony fought divorce rumors by jetting off to Puerto Rico for a few days of snuggling. [E! Online]
• Earl "DMX" Simmons plead guilty to three different cases (including one count of cruelty to animals and various drug charges) in Maricopa County whilst wearing classic prison stripes. He will receive a minimum of 90 days in prison and he will not be allowed to own pets during his probation. [TMZ]
• Trading Spaces interior designer Doug Wilson was arrested on Tuesday in Illinois for a DUI. [UPI]
• William Balfour was in a Chicago court yesterday for his involvement in the Hudson family murder case. [E! Online]
• Mercury-tainted actor, Jeremy Piven, has apparently found love with a model-cum-waitress whom he met at Britney Spears' birthday bash. [NYDN]
• Nicole Richie and Joel Madden are reportedly expecting another baby! [Star]
• Here's a video of Lil' Wayne hilariously falling during a recent concert. [Perez Hilton]
• For some reason, the Associated Press is reporting on Gary Coleman and how he has some run-ins with the law in Santaquin, Utah, where he has moved to "escape the paparazzi and autograph seekers." [AP]
• One of the boats that was used in the filming of On Golden Pond has been put up on eBay. The current high offer is $35,910. [UPI]
• Michael Flatley, the Irish-American dancer of "Riverdance" fame, is back on stage after suffering from a "mystery virus" for years. [Reuters]
• A woman who may have been unwillingly used as a decoy for Jamie Lynn Spears at LAX is pissed off and has filed a claim for money with the city. [TMZ]
• Charles Barkley was arrested on suspicion of DUI in Arizona but he was quickly released. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Garner was seen grabbing coffee with sex therapist Dr. Holly Hein in Brentwood, CA. Uh, interesting?[JustJared]
• Hey! My hometown is in the news! For, uh, booking a Miley Cyrus NYE concert at a local high school? But it's for a gal who has worked hard for breast cancer awareness, so that's nice. [E! Online]
• Justin Bobby and Audrina Patridge enjoy what are probably the last few minutes of their 15 minutes of fame by awkwardly couch-dancing at an "eco-friendly hot spot" in LA. [People]
• Lezebels of 2008, Sam Ronson and Lindsay Lohan, basked in their new titles in South Beach. Sam is doing "much better" after her brief hospital visit. [People]
• Jessica Simpson rushed to the side of her injured beau, Tony Romo, after he collapsed in the shower of his team's locker room after the game on Sunday. [People]
• Ticket sales are down for Elton John's televised NYE bash. Looks like Elton can't back an arena like he used to. [The Sun]
• The title of this video: "Cloris Leachman, Raw and Unclothed." [Extra]
• Dane Cook's brother was arrested by Massachusetts State Police for allegedly stealing millions from his "comedian" brother. Ugh, Dane Cook is the worst, but it sucks when you can't even trust your family anymore. [TMZ]
• Robert Plant was honored by Queen Elizabeth on Wednesday. [Reuters]
• Ho ho ho: Amy Winehouse was spotted frolicking with her hotel's Santa Claus in the Caribbean. [The Sun]
• Try to hold back your disappointment, ladies: Criss Angel and Holly Madison have been spotted looking at engagement rings in Las Vegas. [E! Online]
• Rita Cosby, who alleges that Anna Nicole Smith's former lovers Larry Birkhead and Howard K. Stern had a homosexual tryst, responds to defamation lawsuit filed by Stern by saying there isn't anything defamatory about calling some dude gay. [TMZ]
• The indie band Dead Man's Bones, of which actor Ryan Gosling is a member, have released a MP3 on their MySpace. [JustJared]

• Posh adorns the January 2009 cover of Harper's Bazaar, and inside she talks about high heels, her trademark smirk/smile, wearing tracksuits around the house, and her relationship with the ever-present paparazzi. “I don’t complain about paparazzi because I’ve put myself in that position, and so has David. But I always say to the boys, someone is going to take your picture because you’re handsome or you’re smart or because you’re so good at soccer. But every now and again, Romeo might pick up one of David’s cameras and say, ‘Victoria, Victoria, over here!’ And his attitude is sort of angry… I tell you, the paparazzi would not be sitting outside if they realized I was the most boring person in Hollywood." [Just Jared]
• The $26,000 a month Manhattan apartment where Heath Ledger died has been taken off the market temporarily, as some have been speculating it was too "ghoulish" to sell. [TMZ]

• Unlike Posh, Johnny Depp is not okay with the paparazzi. "I never wanted to be the guy people looked at. I don't think of myself as being a celebrity, it's too mortifying," the Depp says. [People]
• The Jolie-Pitts just had a mechanical bull delivered to their house in L.A. That is all. [TMZ]
• Do you love Jemaine and Britt? Well you're in luck, because here's the trailer for the second season of Flight of the Conchords which airs in January. [Stuff.Co.Nz]
• Longtime buddy Gabrielle Union says Beyoncé's more Southern belle than booty shakin' Sasha Fierce deep down. "Beyoncé is quiet and reserved, very Southern, sweet and polite. If someone told me that girl was gonna go on stage and do the kind of performances that she does, and be so fiery, and this quintessential and iconic entertainer, I'd be [in disbelief], like, 'Yeah, okay!" [People]
• The L Word is offing its most annoying character, two-timing writer girl Jenny, played by Mia Kirshner, during its 6th season premiere. "The episode, which airs January 18, begins with a splash as Jenny's body is discovered in a swimming pool. Accident, or murder - and whodunit? Viewers will have to wait for those answers." [AP]
• Rumors abound that professional jackass Steve- will be on Dancing with the Stars next season. He's even more bonkers than Cloris Leachman! [TMZ]
• Katy Perry believes she was "snubbed" because she did not get nominated for a Best New Artist Grammy. Katy Perry also believes that she has "talent." [Perez]
• All My Sons, the Broadway play co-starring Katie Holmes, is closing later this month. But don't blame Mrs. Cruise: all of Broadway is floundering in this recession. [Jossip]
• Britney flipped the light switch on the Christmas tree at the Nokia Theater in Los Angeles while flanked by L.A. mayor Antonio Villaraigosa and Adam Carolla. That's some eclectic company! [People]
• An Arizona judge has issued a warrant for DMX's arrest. The rapper was supposed to appear in court today, but his reps say that he is in rehab at an undisclosed location. He's facing drug, identity theft and animal cruelty charges in the Phoenix area. [TMZ]

• Ellen DeGeneres has come out against Proposition 8 on her blog. She says: "It’s called, 'The California Marriage Protection Act' — but don’t let the name fool you. It’s not protecting anyone’s marriage. Not yours. Not mine." She continues: "Please VOTE NO on Proposition 8. And now that you’re informed, spread the word. I’m begging you. I can’t return the wedding gifts — I love my new toaster." [People]
• Steven Spielberg and wife Kate Capshaw have matched Brad Pitt's $100,000 donation to fight Proposition 8. [The Campaign Silo]
• Trouble in paradise for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt? Apparently she was peeved that he took a bunch of trips after she gave birth to the twins, so she threatened to leave him. Everything is probably fine, but what if they did break up? So sad. And what a freakin mess. [The Sun]
• Yes, Clay Aiken is gay. Also! The sky is blue. [Page Six]
• Did Kate Moss break up with Jamie Hince because he didn't want to father a child for her? Seems like she wants another kid and he's afraid to commit to that, since he's always touring with his band. Anyway: Looks like they might be patching things up. [The Sun]

• Even though Travis Barker is mourning the death of two close friends and suffering from severe burns, a friend says he is "trying to stay upbeat." [People]
• We've heard this before but: Britney is selling her house. [UPI]
• The latest exchange between Lindsay and Michael Lohan: She says, "My father obviously needs to be on medication to control his moods. He is out of line and his words show how much anger he has, and it's dangerous and scary as it reminds me of how he treated my mother and I my whole childhood. He needs to be stopped. This is yet another reason why we aren't speaking." [Page Six]
• This is great: "If you don't want to get photographed topless wearing a mermaid costume, don't go to P. Diddy's star-studded White Party topless wearing a mermaid costume." The chick in the starfish pasties actually tried to sue Diddy after her picture was printed in Vibe magazine with the caption "Mermaids Gone Wild." [NY Post]
• Shannen Doherty is speaking out about the skinny stars on 90210: "I see those girls and they eat on the set, so I'm pretty sure they're not starving themselves," she claims. "I don't really think it's some magazine's obligation to put these girls on the cover and point fingers at them. Either way, they need to leave them alone." [Yahoo News]
• Nicole Kidman says the water in the outback while filming Australia got her pregnant. "Seven babies were conceived out of this film and only one was a boy. There is something up there in the Kununurra water because we all went swimming in the waterfalls, so we can call it the fertility waters now." [News.com.au]
• Ronnie Dunn from Brooks & Dunn says Nicole and Keith will find living in Nashville "peaceful." [People]
• Kirsten Dunst and Justin "I'm A Mac" Long: Splitsville. [Perez Hilton]
• More trouble for Anne Hathaway's ex-boyfriend: Raffaello Follieri has been accused by a Roman Catholic priest of bamboozling him out of $110,000. Holy crap. [E!]
• Ugly Betty's Ana Ortiz was in a romantic relationship that turned physically abusive when she was in her 20s. But! She uses her pain to play Betty's sister Hilda. [USA Today]
• How times have changed: Back in 2005, the ladies of Desperate Housewives had a tense, catty photo shoot for the cover of Vanity Fair. Now, the actresses are on the new issue of TV Guide. Not only did the shoot go smoothly, but the show approached the magazine for publicity, instead of the other way around. [MSNBC]
• Jude Law was spotted among the protesters gathered near the United Nations earlier this week. Research for a film? Or was he trying to get a glimpse of Sarah Palin? [MSNBC]
• Christian Slater spills all to GQ: He talks about getting drunk at 9 years old and the infamous 1989 incident in which he led police on an alcohol-induced car chase through West Hollywood, eventually crashing into a telephone pole and kicking the cops who came to arrest him. The charges included assault with a deadly weapon—his cowboy boots. [News.com.au]
• Diane Lane: Quitting acting? She says: "I can't do anything official. My agents won't let me. Between you and me, I don't have anything else coming out, and I'm just gonna be taking my kids to driving school and making sure they don't cause any trainwrecks with their texting." [Daily Express]
• The Oasis comeback show is canceled; Noel Gallagher needs more time to recover from broken ribs received when a "nutter" attacked him on stage in Canada. [The Sun]
• Socialite Olivia Palermo will be on Whitney Port's new show, The City. Thank Zeus someone who actually knows New York is involved. [Page Six]
• Megan Fox gave an interview to GQ in which she talked about being in a same-sex relationship with a stripper named Nikita. Her mom says: "I love my daughter dearly. But Megan is, well, Megan. I know she has a good sense of humor, and I take this interview in that context." [Perez Hilton]
• Size doesn't matter: Verne "Mini-Me" Troyer has a new girlfriend, a model named Dominique. [Perez Hilton]
• Michael Jackson wants his new album to be amazing, so he's hired Ne-Yo to write some songs. Ne-Yo's written for Beyoncé and Rihanna and says: "Michael is very nervous as he knows he's the underdog and people want him to fail." Not fail! But not scare us with pure creepiness. [Mirror]
• Uh-oh. Quincy Jones is not involved with Michael Jackson's new album. Big mistake. [Fox 411]
• Kanye West and 50 Cent are releasing albums in December — only a week apart. Last year, they both dropped CDs on the same day and Kanye sold more. Who will emerge victorious this time? [Mirror]
• Boy George to George Michael: "Get away from your drug problems and get yourself clean." In other words, do you really want to hurt me you? [Mirror]
• Tim Burton's ex, Lisa Marie, won't be getting more of Tim Burton's money. [Breitbart]
• Rapper DMX missed a court date because he was hospitalized. And he might have been in the hospital due to "fear of stroke." No, really. [Reuters]
• More rumors that Hugh Hefner's "girlfriends" are hooking up with other people. [Page Six]
• "Whenever the Jonas Brothers come on TV, I freak out, because they're so cute." — Jennie Garth on GlamourTV. [Page Six]
• "It's a very screwed-up family. If you want to be emotionally healthy and strong, you've got to get out. It's a truly sad situation." — Griffin O'Neal, Ryan O'Neal's son (not the one who got arrested recently.) Griffin has Melorheostosis, a rare bone disease which may necessitate amputation of his left leg. [People]
• "I want to call our baby Midnight or 411. I really like information, and being a night owl, it's a good fit." — Will Arnett on his upcoming kid with Amy Poehler. [Rush & Molloy]

• David Duchovny, 48, has entered rehab for sex addiction. Here's his statement: "I have voluntarily entered a facility for the treatment of sex addiction. I ask for respect and privacy for my wife and children as we deal with this situation as a family." Duchovy has been married to Tea Leoni since 1997 and they have 2 kids: daughter Madelaine West, 9, and son Kyd, 6. (Um, remember this?) [People]
• Oh, god. There's info floating around that Tea Leoni is secretly dating Billy Bob Thornton. And this old blind item ("What actor, Mr. X, is having an affair? The file on him is that he's screwing his (female) tennis instructor. Yup. His actress wife is going to become a Lion when she finds out!") seems to clearly be about Duchovny and Leon. WTF. [ONTD, Radar, Perez Hilton]
• BREAKING NEWS: Heidi Montag is McCain's Vice President. She says. [Extra]
• Barack Obama's Denver set was constructed by the designers who did Britney Spears' sets. It's Barry, bitch! [Extra]

• Richard Lohan, Lindsay's paternal grandfather, died yesterday after a battle with colon cancer. Michael Lohan says: "My father just, literally, died in my arms. I notified all my kids and my lawyer notified Dina's attorney. Let's see if she has the decency and respect to bring my kids to the wake and funeral. THIS will show her true colors!" [E!]
• Oh, and Michael Lohan is going to do a one-hour TV special that has 101 text messages from Lindsay and 60 tape recordings of Dina. [Perez Hilton]
• Lindsay Lohan has been "begging" Michael Phelps for a date. A source says: "Lindsay has been trying to meet up with him. They're both going to the MTV Video Music Awards next month." [Mirror]
• But wait! Michael Phelps is texting Carrie Underwood! They are "planning a quiet first date" near Carrie's home in Nashville. [ONTD]
• More from Michael Lohan: "Dina took a percentage of Lindsay's money when I NEVER took a red cent! All the while, I only speak out when something is wrong or needs to be made right! Dina is a money-loving, fame-seeking, self-serving deceiver, who comes from roots of the same. Meanwhile they say I seek fame! Ha! I am out there doing charity work, going on mission trips, working with the United Nations and trying to help my daughter while spending sleepless nights with a father dying of cancer…" [Perez Hilton]
• And! Still more from Michael Lohan: "Who's out of control? Whose life is out of control? Give me a break. Going from place to place, being dragged around by Samantha so she can make more money off of Lindsay being there when she spins...She's gone from making $7 million to less than a million a movie. Who's out of control?" [E!]
• Meanwhile: Lindsay's uncle, Paul Sullivan (Dina's bro), was arrested for allegedly stealing 9/11 relief funds. [Extra]
• Christopher Ciccone says Demi Moore once squirted breast milk at him at a party. Viva la leche! [Jossip]
• Jennifer Aniston: Guest starring on 30 Rock! [Star]
• Halle Berry is wearing a ring on THAT finger. [E!]
• Joe Biden has hair plugs. Oh, wow, they have old pix of him when he was bald! [Awful Plastic Surgery]
• Mackenzie Phillips spent the night in jail after her drug bust, but got out yesterday after posting $10,000 bail. First she was visited by half-sister Bijou Phillips and Bijou's boyfriend, Danny Masterson. Apparently when Mackenzie was busted at the airport, a bag of cocaine fell from her pants, she admitted to using heroin that morning and she was found to have "extensive" marks on her arms. A police officer asked if she was diabetic. She said: "No, I am healthy except for my drug problem." [E!]
• Is the new American Idol judge there to cover for Paula Abdul, who was "absent" a lot last season? [MSNBC]
• Charlize Theron went from the DNC to the Venice Film Festival to the Guggenheim Museum for a documentary about Valentino. Multifaceted! [E!]
• Remember how Solange Knowles told off a newscaster and then the video was circulated? She responds! She says she is "disappointed in the level of journalism right now." [TMZ]
• Decathlete Bryan Clay doesn't think Michael Phelps is the best athlete. "When you’re talking about the best athlete in the world, I think it needs to be somebody that’s well rounded, that can do everything well," Bryan tells OK! magazine. "I think that’s me at this point." Clay only has one gold medal, but he's on the Wheaties box. [MSNBC]
• At a screening of Guy Ritchie's new flick, RocknRolla, a scene about Russian immigrants prompted some drunk dude to start shouting, "Yeah all you immigrants get back home, go on, fuck off." He was kicked out, obvs. [Mirror]
• Homer Simpson will get a colonoscopy during the "Stand Up For Cancer" fund-raiser on Sept. 5. Animated polyps? [Page Six]
• DMX is sorta kinda cleaning up his troubled legal life: He needs to pay a court fine in Miami and deal with that skipped court date in Arizona. [E!]
• Danity Kane drama involving Diddy. [Rush & Molloy]
• O.J. Simpson was beat up by his own daughter??? [Extra]
• Vin Diesel's new movie, Babylon A.D., sucks. The director (Amelie hottie) Mathieu Kassovitz calls it a "a bad episode of 24." Diesel was late all the time, Kassovitz allegedly had a nervous breakdown, etc. Box office poison, which opens today, not that you're gonna see it! [Page Six]
• "I'm not supporting Nader for president… I will reluctantly vote for Obama." — Sean Penn. [Page Six]
• "Sometimes I think she has 'desperate character' written on her. The clothes we wear send a message. And I think that’s the message — I don’t think that’s her intention though." — Tim Gunn on Jennifer Aniston. [Just Jared]
• "For years, I tried to get producers to have Vinny sell his Hummer and buy a Prius. Then I realized this show is entertainment. I know that Entourage is often demeaning and crude, but there's also a lot of social commentary." — Adrian Grenier. [Page Six]
• "A friend of mine (a petite blond woman who works for a progressive organization) was wrestled to the ground by six cops/security-people because she had left her credentials in her hotel room. Maybe the cops in Denver should lay off the caffeine/meth/diet-pills/sugar-cereals while they're working the convention?" — Moby, on security at the DNC. [Rush & Molloy, via Blender.com]
• "As much as she does and says outrageous things and isn't the nicest person in town, I think that Blair is what a lot of people wish they could be. She's got really good fashion and she lives in a gorgeous apartment and she's got tons of money and she's very well taken care of, well coiffed, has beautiful boys surrounding her, all this stuff. I think that a lot of women also relate to her because she is imperfect and she has her insecurities. And also, she's quite sexual." —Leighton Meester, on her Gossip Girl character, Blair Waldorf. [Salon]
• "I made the decision to take acting seriously after high school. When I was in my Freshman year at college I took some acting classes and found that I fell in love with it again. I was never challenged when it came to acting as a youngster. I sort of just did whatever was given to me without asking questions. I didn’t really understand why I enjoyed it or why I did it." — Mary-Kate Olsen. [Mirror]
• "I don’t have assistants, bodyguards or even a driver because I try to pretend in my own head that this isn’t happening. I think a lot of actresses live in this cotton-wool world but I’m very free-spirited and I want to be able to live the life I do. I don’t court attention. I don’t go to other people’s premieres. I haven’t been out to a club in London for years." —Sienna Miller. [Daily Express]
• "I'm hoping that it’ll firm it up and shape it up. Everyone is asking if I’m worried it’s going to go away. No, it’s going to tone it up. I can use that" — Kim Kardashian, on what Dancing With The Stars will do to her ass. [People]
• "Today I read on a blog that I went to the doctor and he said I was overweight and I cried and went to Planet Blue (because I was blue) and bought 6 pair of size 0 jeans. Now it is ridiculous to read such nonsense about oneself so I thought I was would address this one...
  1. My doctor says I am right on target with my weight gain
  2. Have not been to Planet Blue in at least two years
  3. Love my maternity jeans ..they have stretchy tops it is awesome!
  4. My closet full of size 0 are being worn by Pete right now and he looks hot in them :)
  So now that I have cleared that up let me tell you...carrying a child is the most inspiring, emotional, amazing experience of my life. My weight and my pant size are the absolute last thing I am concerned about. I am only concerned with having a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. People who talk and judge pregnant women's weight need to get a life!!!
  Peace and Love,
  Ashlee"
  [ONTD]

• "She's certainly telling friends she's planning to write a book," says a source close to Sam Ronson. "It's supposed to be about her, allegedly. But come on, you know Lindsay will be all over that book. She's the only one people want to read about." But! Michael Lohan says: "She's using my daughter. People never even knew who Samantha Ronson was until she met Lindsay. She was just some L.A. DJ. And now she's writing a book? I am at wit's end with this stuff. This is not in Lindsay's best interest." Oh dear! (And for the record, the Ronsons were on the New York scene before Lindsay ever shot Parent Trap. So.) [Yahoo News, The Sun]
• Michael Lohan thinks LL is drinking again. "Samantha drinks and passes the drinks under the table to Lindsay, and behind the scenes it gets worse and worse." [MSNBC]
• Nicolette Sheridan and Michael Bolton: Splitsville! The couple has been engaged since 2006 and started dating in 1992. They broke up after five years but got back together in 2005. Tell me how am I supposed to live without you? [Yahoo News, People]
• Related: Headline of the day: "Desperately Airbrushed Housewives: Latest Publicity Pictures Contrast With Recent Real Life Shots Of Stars" [Daily Mail]
• Matthew McConaughey's mom reveals her husband, Matt's dad, died while she was having sex with him: "On Monday mornings, he and I often said goodbye by making love. One day, all of a sudden, it just happened. I knew that something was wrong, because I didn't hear anything from him. Just nothing. But it was just the best way to go!" [Page Six]

• Ow, ow, Keith Urban has a slipped disc. Now who's gonna help Nicole with the baby? [People]
• Speaking of injuries, Kelly Osbourne's black eye was the result of a kitchen cabinet that fell on her face. Stupid Swedish box store. (Kidding!) [The Sun]
• Tom Brady spent $11 million on a plot of dirt in Brentwood, CA so he can build Gisele Bundchen a house. [TMZ]
• The ratings for the fourth-season premiere of The Hills were down. But! Lauren Conrad still gets $75,000 an episode! [Yahoo News]
• Madonna had a "meltdown" over technical problems that forced the screens to go out during several songs during her concert in Nice, France. I've got the moves baby, you got the motion. If we got together, we'd be causing a commotion. [Perez Hilton]
• Oooh, some love letters from the '90s Madonna sent to then-boyfriend James Albright might get released. Some are signed "Spanky" because she liked getting smacked on the ass during sex. [Mirror]
• Liz Hurley's in St. Tropez with husband Arun Nayar and best friend/ex boyfriend Hugh Grant. Amazing that Hugh and Liz dated for 13 years and stayed friends after breaking up in 2000. [Daily Mail]
• Please click and tell me wtf is up with Hayden Panettiere's birthday suit. [The.Life Files]
• DMX cursed at his judge while in court, which the judge didn't really like. And yeah, there is video. [The.Life Files]
• Jennifer Aniston won't be having plastic surgery, except for that deviated septum operation she had so she could breathe better. But everything else is yoga, cosmic energies and karma. [ONTD]
• Shannen Doherty and Jennie Garth went to a 90210 party and mingled on opposite sides of the room, which is supposed to mean there's tension and underlying drama happening. [E!]
• A South African lady who claimed to be raising funds for an R. Kelly concert in 2005 swindled $130,000 from investors. But! She deposited the money into a bank account, and the account belongs to R. Kelly. Kelly's camp says there is no truth to these reports. [E!]
• Rosario Dawson, Jessica Alba , Eva Longoria, Fat Joe, Wilmer Valderrama and Sofia Vergara will party at Voto Latino's DNC event in Denver tonight. [Page Six]
• Rihanna is looking for a condo in L.A. for she and Chris Brown to move into, but it needs to be soundproof because they like to play their music loud. [Star]
• Pete Doherty's new autobiographical film is playing in an Austrian porn theater? [The Sun]
• This story is sooooo ridiculous. It claims that since there were rumors that Paris and Benji broke up, she decked him out "in a T-shirt with 'Obey' emblazoned on the front and parade[d] him around in front of the paparazzi, of course!" [Mirror]
• Extras from that sure to be sucktastic Tom Cruise movie Valkyrie are claiming £6million in damages after suffering broken bones, cuts and bruises while filming. The studio had better pay up! [Mirror]
• Snoop Dogg has still not been granted a visa to enter Australia for a tour. Waiting. [News.com.au]
• Kelsey Grammer is back playing Dr, Frasier Crane… In a Dr. Pepper commercial. Maybe you drink it with tossed salads and scrambled eggs? [Perez Hilton]
• Haley Joel Osment will make his Broadway debut in David Mamet's American Buffalo. I see theater people! [USA Today]
• Barbra Streisand's goddaughter threatened to kill a woman? [TMZ]
• Vanessa Minnillo says that Nick Lachey was the one who said "I love you" first in their relationship, not that you care. [People]
• There's an opera based on the movie The Fly opening in L.A. "I didn't want to remake the movie. I didn't want to rewrite the screenplay again," David Cronenberg says. "This production has a power and charisma all its own." [Reuters]
• Ben Stiller is being honored by the Museum of the Moving Image. [Reuters]
• Kenny Rogers' new CD: Available at Cracker Barrel. [Perez Hilton]
• "The doctor said the tumour was so small, he wouldn't have even noticed it except for the fact that it wasn't there on previous X-rays. I've learned that if you catch breast cancer early, the chances are overwhelmingly good that you'll be cured. So my attitude, which very much mirrored my mother's, was this wasn't a big deal." — Cynthia Nixon, speaking about the moment she learned she had breast cancer. [Daily Mail]
• "It was a pile of shit, wasn't it? I wanted to get a job in the can before my daughter was born. It was actually very pleasant for me. I didn't have much to do with Sharon Stone. And thank God because I heard she was a fucking nightmare." — David Thewlis, on making Basic Instinct 2. [ONTD]
• "My job is to not pay attention to what Tom Cruise did with the role in a similar way that Adam's is not to pay attention to what Dustin did. Is it going to be better? I'm not even thinking about that. The film came out in '88, right? I was 10. I've seen it twice in the last 20 years." — Josh Hartnett, on his stage production of Rain Man. [Telegraph]
• "I stay at 165 pounds and cook everything out of Cooking Light magazine. I only eat irresponsibly on Saturdays, which means bacon and candy. I am against [nips and tucks]. If you have bad plastic surgery, it looks like you were brought up poor, moved to LA and didn't make it. If it's good, you just look like somebody else." — John Waters. [Page Six]

• Ellen and Portia will wed this weekend! Don't you wish they'd interrupt Olympic coverage to bring us love, LIVE? [Perez Hilton]
• Portia will wear a "flowing, form-fitting dress by Zac Posen." [Page Six]
• Christian Bale has been cleared of assault charges, you can go back to your regularly scheduled lust. [NY Post]
• Trump to the rescue! The Donald has saved Ed McMahon from foreclosure. He's buying Ed's house and "leasing" it to Ed so he can live in it. Dear Donald, I have my eye on a Tribeca penthouse… [Yahoo News]
• Sonya Dakar, an aesthetician with clients like Fergie, Drew Barrymore and Gwyneth Paltrow, was arrested after allegedly assaulting and trying to bite an inspector who was checking out her cosmetology license. WTF. [TMZ]
• Uh, Actress LisaRaye and her husband, the prime minister of Turks & Caicos, Michael Misick, were both treated for bite wounds Wednesday night in the Caribbean. Not mosquito, not shark, but HUMAN BITE WOUNDS. Scenes of a deteriorating marriage. [Rush & Molloy]
• Amy Winehouse slapped another member of the public. Oh, and there's video. The woman did grab Amy's arm and try to pull her. Not that Amy handled it properly. [The Sun]

• Despite reports in this week's In Touch, Casey Aldridge denies he had sex with 28-year-old Kelli Dawson while Jamie Lynn Spears was pregnant. [The Superficial]
• Gwen Stefani: Still pregnant. [The.Life Files]
• Did Jennifer Love Hewitt slim down for the publicity? (Is there any other reason to do it?) [MSNBC]
• Gossip Girl gossip: Season two begins in the Hamptons and Blake Lively says: "There's a lot of juicy stuff in all of our lives." [ET]
• 90210 promo! With Jennie Garth and Shannen Doherty! [Perez Hilton]
• Matthew Fox has resigned his Lost deal with ABC and is getting a salary raise: $225,000 per episode, up from $150,000. But can you put a price on brooding Dr. Shephard? [Reuters]
• Miley Cyrus has been hanging out with Adam Sevani of Step Up 2: The Streets. I saw that movie and I promise you he was the best thing in it. Anyways, they look cute riding bikes together, but that doesn't meet he's her boyfriend, sheesh. [Perez Hilton]
• Chris Brown's new track is floating around online but he is not happy. "I'm mad that it's leaked," he says. "The record's not finished. It's supposed to be me and Rihanna's duet." [USA Today]
• Say it with me now: DMX has been arrested. Again. Miami this time! [USA Today]
• Quentin Tarantino's flick Inglorious Bastards is already stirring up controversy: "The film depicts scalpings, disembowelment and swastikas being engraved in foreheads as a group of American Jewish soldiers are airdropped into Nazi-occupied Europe to wreak revenge on the Germans." [Guardian]
• If you're Mariah Carey you don't have to dry yourself off after a swim. That's what towel boys are for. [ONTD]
• Lily Allen has has written a new song wich imagines what God’s life would be like. Lily "attempts to answer questions like who God would date, what job he’d have and what music he would listen to." Dunno about God, but Jesus definitely listens to Kanye West. [The Sun]
• Apparently Bono was blasting his own new songs out of a villa in the South of France, loud enough for passersby to hear and try to upload on YouTube. [The Sun]
• Peaches Geldof arrived back in London after her quickie Vegas wedding and promptly rung up her ex, Faris Badwan of rock band The Horrors. [The Sun]
• Except this report says she snubbed Faris and he had to read about her getting married in the paper. [Mirror]
• This purposely misleading headline: "Doherty's 8hr Visit To Dealer" is on a story about how Pete Doherty went shopping for antiques at 10 am and didn't leave until 6pm. Scandalous! [The Sun]
• Sir Paul McCartney cut a vacation short because his eldest daughter Mary gave birth to her third child. [Mirror]
• Noel Gallagher was drunk on Radio 1? What is this, 1995? [The Sun]
• Busy Philipps, of Dawson's Creek and Freaks And Geeks, gave birth to a baby girl on Wednesday. Birdie Leigh Silverstein's daddy is Busy's screenwriter husband Marc Silverstein. [Star]
• Rumer Willis says when she was 12, she realized she "got screwed" in the name department. "My sisters, Scout and Talullah, had cute nicknames. When I was 12 and had crushes on guys, I'd put my first name with their last name, but it never sounded right. Rumer Depp? Nope. In school, kids would sing, 'Rumer, Rumer with a big hairy tumor.'" [Page Six]
• "Jessica was well-developed, and every guy in high school wanted her and practically every girl hated her. Jessica put on a brave face, but it was a campaign of terror that just devastated her." — A source speaking about Jessica Simpson's new song, with lyrics about abuse. [MSNBC]
• Jerry Lewis says the gun found in his carry-on was a gift that he'd forgotten was in his luggage. [AP]
• RIP, grandma of Catherine Zeta-Jones. [Daily Express]
• Oh, and Cathy Z, who turns 40 next year, says: "I haven’t actually reached my sexiest point yet." [Mirror]
• "I still love her. I’m not really over her yet. We still hang. She was just out with me a couple days ago and we were having a great time. She’s really got it. I think she’s great." — Bret Michaels on Ambre Lake. [People]
• "We are very close. We see each other as much as we can, but we’re usually in different parts of the world. When we have time off, I like to go and hang out with her. She has the cutest children – Finn [three years old] is just the funniest." — Emma Roberts on Aunt Julia. [Mirror]
• "He kissed me on the lips, and then he gave me a filterless cigarette. I came off all lightheaded and had to go sit on his dressing room steps. Maybe it was the cigarette and nothing to do with the legend." — Kate Moss, on meeting Frank Sinatra, in Interview magazine. [Rush & Molloy]

Anyone with even a vague sense of pop culture knows that Britney and Paris are yesterday's news. Here's a link to Forbes' Celebrity 100. Paris and Britney don't even make the list any more. Instead, the top 10, in order: Oprah Winfrey, Tiger Woods, Angelina Jolie, Beyonce Knowles, David Beckham, Johnny Depp, Jay-Z, The Police, JK Rowling, Brad Pitt. So, they didn't pick other big celebrities, who were either men, or black, or married.

Um, maybe because attempting to smear Barack Obama by equating him with J.K. Rowling is actually significantly dumber than anything his campaign has done so far? That and other stuff with me and Megan (and Mitt Romney) below.

MOE: I still haven't watched that McCain ad but I listened to the Ludacris song the Obama campaign could not resist condemning strongly. The Jesse Jackson couplet is my favorite.

Well give Luda a special pardon if I'm ever in the slammer
Better yet put him in office, make me your vice president
Hillary hated on you, so that bitch is irrelevant
Jesse talking slick and apologizing for what?
if you said it then you meant it how you want it have a gut!

MOE: I don't know much about Don Siegelman though I imagine he's a Corrupt SOB or whatever their baseball caps said but I'm very much in favor of holding Karl Rove in contempt.
MEGAN: I watched the McCain ad, you didn't miss anything. He's implicitly compared to Britney and Paris and then hit for not supporting offshore drilling. I'm not sure what Paris thinks about offshore drilling, nor why I should care.
MEGAN: Don Siegelman was a Democratic politician that was corrupt but Karl wanted him gotten on corruption charges so apparently he's not that corrupt or something. I don't think Democrats ought to be hanging their hats on Siegelman, but whatever.
MOE: Offshore drilling would only make shit like this a little more accessible.
MEGAN: But Britney doesn't care about McCain's ad and only noticed it because she was Googling herself, which is something she can do and John McCain apparently can't. Who knew I had anything in common with Britney?
MOE: But speaking of fuel, I need some sooooo bad right now. brb
MEGAN: So, now we're both back!
MOE: OH thank god you're back. I had no one to talk about John Weaver with. John Weaver being John McCain's old pal and campaign strategist who seems determined to defeat John McCain. Weaver's the guy who met with Daschle to try and arrange a party switch, right? Not to be confused with Mark McKinnon, who pledged (and made good on the pledge) to drop off the McCain campaign if Obama won the primary. Also: anyone keeping tabs on Vicki Iseman? Also, what happened to your internet? COMCAST IS WATCHING YOU KNOW.
MEGAN: I have Verizon! SUCK IT COMCAST.
MOE: Uh, yeah, suck it Comcast, there are OTHER high-speed internet service providers I can totally waste my morning cursing the existence of. In other news Virginia is officially a swing state. In other news like everyone who doesn't think McCain is a sellout to the Nazis is starting to think he is just stupid — like even Karl Rove is dissing him today but I hold Karl Rove links in contempt — and basically it has come down to Mitt Romney as his staunchest supporter. Mitt Romney!
MOE: Mitt "We can all agree you're the candidate of change" Romney
MEGAN: Oh, it's so nice when former enemies come together in pursuit of a common goal, like Mitt Romney potentially winning a national election.
MOE: He was fucking hot, though. And so bland I forgot why I hated him. Oh yeah this. Hey, remember that shitstorm when those Salt Lake City bloggers accused us of plagiarizing their idea? Man, good times.
MEGAN: Ah, the ghosts of crappy hours past! Although, on my end, this hour has been pretty crappy. I've got one hell of a hangover.
MOE: Hey, finally someone took my idea and wrote a Dreams of My Father vs. Faith of my Fathers mashup. Also, maybe we should talk about Turkey?
MEGAN: Oh, God, please, nothing to do with food right now! Or do you mean the country?
MOE: Yeah nevermind I don't really feel like discussing Islam either after spending like 45 minutes last night writing the 283rd comment on that post about those lady suicide bombers.
MEGAN: I feel you there.
MOE: Also did you realize we had so many 2nd amendment fans up in them comments? I didn't. Now I'm thinking I could maybe use a gun myself.

• Okay, let's start here: Before Madonna, Yankee Alex Rodriguez was into a stripper named Monique. [Page Six]
• Now, amid rumors that A-Rod is seeing Madonna, comes news that A-Rod's wife is seeing Lenny Kravitz — who used to date Madonna. Did you know that Leonard co-wrote "Justify My Love"? In any case, this stuff is messy, messy business. [NY Post]
• Wait, wait. Alex and wife Cynthia have split. They are separated. Is Cynthia on a romantic getaway with Lenny Kravitz? "She is not! I know that," Cynthia's mom says. [Daily News]
• This picture of Angelina Jolie in the hospital window showing off her baby bump is sooo clearly not Angelina Jolie. [Just Jared]
• Angie and Brad want at least $15 million for the first shot of them with the newborns. Duh. [NY Post]

• So these "X-rated" letters that Blake Fielder-Civil wrote to some chick who is not Amy Winehouse are pretty harmless, except when they're not. For instance, in one, he says" "Your[sic] a beautiful girl too Lissy, you have such amazing eyes. I can see me licking all my [deleted] off that hot sexy face." Then he goes on to say "I've told Amy about you… and read a bit of one of your letters, it turns her on and she wants to meet ya." I dunno, I wonder if this chick was writing him pornographic stuff to entrap him? It seems very one-sided. [The Sun]
• Is there Will Smith backlash? Are people trying to tear him down with these random Scientology reports? [LA Times]
• Sean "Diddy" Combs reviews Hancock: "As a black kid, you're like why ain't there black superheroes?… They got dog superheroes… I guess they felt like black people wasn't good enough to be superheroes… Shit is changing…Fuck Batman, Superman, Robin with his bitchass, Underdog and the mutt motherfucker. Hancock bitches. Hancock. I feel proud that my kids can go see a superhero that looks like them." [PaulScheer.com]
• The rumors that Diddy is dating singer Cassie persist. They've been swirling for a while and she turned 21 last year. [Rush & Molloy]
• Rose McGowan's rep says Rose McGowan and Robert Rodriguez are still together – professionally and personally. Plus! Rose will still star in the three movies Rodriguez is working on (Barbarella, Red Sonja and Woman in Chains!). So hmm, where did those reports of their split — and the replacement of Rose with Jessica Alba — come from? [People]
• Michael Lohan is trying to sell his "exclusive story" about fathering Lindsay's secret half sister to the tabloids — because if DNA tests prove he is Ashley Kaufman's dad, he's going to owe a shitload of back child support. Anyway, did you see the kid? Do you think she's a Lohan? [Page Six]
• Shocker: Naomi Campbell threw a tantrum. Although it sounds rather tame. The scene: A party for Jay-Z in London. A partygoer says: "She arrived at the champagne reception and was surprisingly quiet, refusing any alcohol. She looked like she was having a good time and was very calm - until people started to move into the dining area. Naomi clearly thought she would get some dinner, but one of Jay-Z’s people told her she wasn’t invited and couldn’t go in. At first she thought he was joking, but when she realised it was serious she couldn’t believe it. She stormed off screaming and swearing. It was pretty funny to watch." Eh, doesn't sound like she actually threw a fit. In other news, Jay-Z allegedly sent assistants over to get the phone numbers of pretty young ladies at the party. [This Is London]
• Rumer Willis and Brittny Gastineau: Seen vying for Gossip Girl star Chase Crawford's attention. But like, just because he's not into them doesn't mean he's gay, right? [Page Six]
• Forest Whitaker is huge in France. [Page Six]
• Ryan Adams and Mandy Moore are dunzo. He blames the media! "I found the entire speculation and subsequent photographs and intrusions terrifying, and only wish to live as normal a life as possible," he says. Sad face! [Rush & Molloy]
• It's a boy! Matthew McConaughey's unborn surfer will be a dude. [Rush & Molloy]
• The Christie Brinkley divorce trial has begun and Christie says she "heard a lot of new things I didn't know" in the opening and now she needs "some time to let it all absorb." [People]
• Christie's estranged husband hearts online porn. As for the the teenager he was having an affair with, he "showered" her with cash, including a $300,000 "hush money" payout. [Yahoo News]
• The new People magazine cover is a picture of Anne Hathaway with the line: "The Princess & The Con Man." [People]
• Kim Stewart flitted into the VIP area where her "friend" John Mayer was hanging with Jennifer Aniston and Jen had Kim kicked out. Twice. [The Sun]
• As reported in Midweek Madness, Naomi Watts is pregnant. Again. She gave birth 11 months ago. [News.com.au]
• Rapper DMX has been arrested. Again. In Arizona. [Reuters]
• Sarah Larson: Seen having dinner with hot hottie Jason Statham. [Perez Hilton]
• Ben Affleck, Matt Damon and Don Cheadle played a poker game where the cash goes to victims of the humanitarian crisis in the Darfur region of Sudan. [E!]
• Lily Allen might quit making music and to A&R at a record label instead. [The Sun]
• Could Heath Ledger really win an Oscar? [CNN]
• Kylie Minogue got an Order of The British Empire from Prince Charles. She went to Buckingham Palace and everything. [BBC News]
• Jack Wagner visited Heather Locklear in the Arizona facility she's in for anxiety and depression. Just like an episode of Melrose Place. [People]
• Madonna's brother got a job with Janice Dickinson. He's gonna design her bedroom — in the house she shares with models for her show The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency. [E!]
• A former employee is writing an "explosive" book about Miramax, based on files and tapes of Harvey and Bob Weinstein. Did the brothers make shitty movies on purpose? [Page Six]
• OMG Bruce Lee museum. Yes. Yes! [Reuters]

• Ellen DeGeneres is so psyched about the California Supreme Court ruling regarding gay marriage that she's gonna get hitched to longtime love Portia de Rossi. Woohoo! It would be kind of awesome if they did it on TV. And then danced! [TMZ]
  
• Pregnant Angelina Jolie will be looking "sexy" on the July cover of Vanity Fair; she was shot by Patrick Demarchelier. Wonder if he'll have her Photoshopped? [Page Six]
  
• Click here if you need info on Angelina's tattoos. [Sydney Morning Herald]
  
• Angelina will probably give birth in France, FYI. [USA Today]
  
• Angelina's dad Jon Voight is all riled up over Israel: "God gave this land to the Jewish people; they shouldn't be giving it away," he says. But, um, Voight is not Jewish. [Mirror]
  
• "If I punched every bitch who called me fat, it would be dead bitches all up and down the highway." — Star Jones. [Page Six]

• Just two weeks after marrying Mariah Carey, Nick Cannon is driving a new car: the $120,000 Maserati Quattroporte. Did Drumline profits pay for it? [TMZ]
• Ali Lohan swears that even though sister Lindsay hangs with Sam Ronson, she is not a lezebel. "They're best friends. They're just friends. It's pathetic what people say," Ali claims. [Perez Hilton]
• Here's a book for your Amazon wish list: Hollywood Babylon: It's Back has full-frontal nudes of stars like Mick Jagger, Daniel Radcliffe, Ewan McGregor, John Malkovich, James Woods and Richard Gere. Plus! Stories about the size of other actors; Johnny Depp was known as "donkey dick" and an art student who sketched Sean Connery years ago swears, "It was the biggest I've ever seen. It made me drop my charcoal pencil." [Rush & Molloy]
• As previously reported, Britney Spears and Mel Gibson are on vacay together in Costa Rica. Also along for the adventure are Brit's dad Jamie and Mel's wife Robin, as well as some "unidentified youngsters." Apocalypto! [E!]
• An L.A. band says there's a Miley Cyrus song that sounds suspiciously like one of theirs. Miley's rep says, "She doesn't write the songs - she sings them. We have referred this to Disney." Ah, well, okay then. [Page Six]
• Hulk Hogan has written letters to the court trying to get his son Nick a softer sentence; Hulk says Nick isn't the wild kid people see on TV because their reality show "is scripted." [TMZ]
• American Idol alum Taylor Hicks will join the cast of Grease on Broadway. [ET]
• Duran Duran are in the news! They rerouted their world tour to perform for Deutsche Bank staffers; then the show got canceled. Now they're hungry like the wolf. Don't say a prayer for them now, save it til the morning after. [Mirror]
• Sheryl Crow has a new boyfriend; he's a restauranteur and pilot from Alabama. He can fly home the bacon and fry it up in a pan. [MSNBC]
• Movie-industry private investigator Anthony Pellicano has been found guilty of conspiracy after wiretapping and harassing a string of celebrities, including Garry Shandling, Kevin Nealon, Sylvester Stallone and Keith Carradine. [Portfolio]
• Rapper DMX has pleaded not guilty to felony drug possession and misdemeanor animal cruelty charges. [Yahoo News]
• Jury selection is complete in the trial of R. Kelly! Maybe the trial will finally begin? [Mirror]
• Ryan Kavanaugh, the executive producer of 21, smitten with Natalie Portman? What will Devendra Banhart say? [Page Six]
• Kanye West performed with four topless dancers wearing space helmets and made $1 million. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which TV legend likes to play dirty in the bedroom? The larger-than-life fella ties up his conquests with bathrobes - and takes breaks from "satisfying" the girls only to snort piles of coke." [Rush & Molloy]
• Lil' Kim won $500,000 in a lawsuit against a former fellow Junior M.A.F.I.A. member. That kind of cash will get her some nice fingernails. [Vibe]
• Dennis Rodman has been charged with battery and domestic violence after allegedly hitting his girlfriend last month in an L.A. hotel. Rodman is currently in a rehab facility, but he told TMZ "I've never hit anyone." [TMZ]
• Kelly Osbourne has a new boyfriend named Luke. [Mirror]
• "The handbags alone were heavenly. I'm a handbag girl, so I was just salivating. Every time a new purse came into the wardrobe room I'd get so excited. People would walk in with arms full of bags, just trying to decide which one my character should use that day. Just flipping through them, one more beautiful than the next. I was stunned... Next time I will make sure I put a clause into my contract that I get to keep all my purses." — Jennifer Hudson, on the Sex And The City movie. [Mirror]

• Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson: Engaged??? Apparently she has a huge new rock on her finger. A source says, "He picked out the ring and went for the biggest one he could find. He was nervous about proposing but Kate was thrilled and the whole thing was really emotional." Guess Owen's rough times are over? [The Sun]
  
• John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston spent another weekend together in Miami, eating salads poolside and making out. [People]
  
• Jenna Bush got married. [People]
  
• Dennis Farina was arrested at LAX for carrying a loaded, unregistered, .22 caliber, semi-automatic pistol in his briefcase. Farina is a former cop but, uh, you can't bring a gun on a plane. [Reuters]
  
• Hugh Hefner wants Miley Cyrus to pose for Playboy. When she's old enough. This is what happens. Don't you feel like weeping? [The Sun]
  
• Lindsay Lohan: Seen crying at Crown Bar in West Hollywood after a fight with girlfriend Sam Ronson, awwww. [Page Six]
  
• But LL was all smiles when she worked the crowd at the Wango Tango concert and introduced Snoop Dogg. When I say Wango you say Tango! [TMZ]

• Britain's "Most Annoying Couple," Katie Price (aka Jordan) and husband Peter Andre, are moving to the US. Prepare yourself! [Rush & Molloy]
• Leonardo di Caprio and his mom arrived at an art show via bicycle. Carbon footprint be damned! [Page Six]
• Bono celebrated his 48th birthday simply: With dinner, cake and champagne for 12 on Friday night. In attendance: Brad Pitt, Monaco's Prince Albert II and The Edge. So down to earth! [People]
• Gwyneth Paltrow and Mario Batali recently filmed a documentary series, Spain... On The Road Again in which they travel through España eating, cooking and sightseeing. The show will air on PBS in the fall but there's a preview here. Apparently the formerly macrobiotic Paltrow is a "really good eater." [People]
• Gwyneth may adopt her next child because being pregnant made her feel "like a zombie." She says, "I was so ill, everything disgusted me! I wasn't able to eat or smell anything." She says "an American oprhan" would be an option. Though she could copy her bff Madonna. [Mirror]
• Blind item! "Which executive producer and creator of two hit TV comedy series doesn't do his own work? Laments one insider: 'He's content to sit back and let everyone do the writing for him when they're supposed to be his shows.'" [Rush & Molloy]
• Suge Knight got in a fight at Hollywood nightclub and was knocked out cold for three minutes. [TMZ]
• Paul McCartney and Heather Mills were granted a preliminary divorce by a London judge, bringing us all one step closer to never having to hear about it again. [People]
• A chick won Survivor! [E!]
• Ellen turned 50 on January 26, but had a delayed celebration over the weekend due to the writers' strike. Her party was carnival and casino-themed and newlyweds Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon, Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Tom Hanks, Lindsay Lohan, Jamie Foxx, Paris Hilton and Clive Davis were in attendance. [E!]
• Madonna had to travel 37 miles from her home in London to a concert in Kent, so she went via helicopter, of course. [Mirror]
• Plus: Madonna used the F word twice during the Radio 1 Big Weekend gig, which was being broadcast live on BBC3, BBC HD and Radio 1. Whoops! [The Sun]
• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes baby-sat the Beckham boys while Posh went to London to work on her clothing line and David had a soccer game. [Mirror]
• Liz Hurley canceled a photo shoot for a vodka brand so now the rumor is that she is pregnant, sigh. [Mirror]
• David Sedaris once paid sister Amy 10¢ for a chicken leg at a family dinner when they were kids. [Page Six]
• Audrina Patridge of The Hills has joined the cast of Into The Blue 2, sequel to the Jessica Alba flick. Should be awesome. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Stop, drop, shut 'em down, open up shop: Cops raided the home of rapper DMX and he's been arrested (again) on suspicion of animal cruelty and drug possession. [Mirror]
• It's official: Jimmy Fallon will replace Conan O'Brien on Late Night. Let the uncontrolled giggling begin! [NY Times]
• Hayden Panettiere has "lez lust" for Angelina Jolie. [The Sun]
• William Shatner is finally talking about his feud with Star Trek costar Leonard Nimoy: "He thought I was a real son of a bitch," Captain Kirk says. [Mirror]
• Neverland Ranch has been saved from foreclosure! Michael Jackson says that the property loan was sold to Colony Capital, a large real estate investment firm. [Reuters]
• Singer Neil Young has been honored by an East Carolina University biologist who discovered a new species of trapdoor spider and named it Myrmekiaphila neilyoungi. Neil: Mind if we bug you by saying congrats? [Reuters]
• Carrie Underwood was inducted into the Grand Ole Opry Saturday night. Membership to the Opry is invitation-only and based on the artist's commitment to the show and overall contribution to country music. So it's an honor. [E!
• Alanis Morissette hit "rock bottom" over the past two years due to "a personal unraveling of significant relationships in my life." But she used the rough patch to write songs for her new album, out in June. Plus: She's psyched to see the Sex And The City movie: "I will definitely be going to see that movie," enthused Morissette, who once guest-starred on the HBO series. "I'm the girl that would torture a few of my guy friends and bring them." [People]
• A David O. Russell political comedy starring Jessica Biel and Jake Gyllenhaal has been put on hold because of a "cash crunch," boo. [Deadline Hollywood]
• The father of American Idol contender David Archuleta is a meddler who has been banned from rehearsals. [AP]
• Justin Timberlake is executive producing an MTV show called The Phone. The series, based on a Dutch reality show, begins each episode with two hidden cell phones ringing at opposite ends of a major city. Contestants who answer the phones have five seconds to decide if they want to play along for a cash prize, and a guide on the other end of the line then gives contestants a mission to complete before time runs out. [Reuters]
• Jennie Garth will be on the 90210 spinoff! She'll play a guidance counselor at her alma mater. Eh, that would never happen. [USA Today]
• Ashton Kutcher once he met Demi he knew it was right. "I knew she was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with," he said. "I am the happiliest — I think I just invented that word — married guy on the planet." [Reuters]
• Tom Cruise's probably craptastic Nazi movie has been delayed. Again. [Times of London]
• Heath Ledger's family is bracing as E! True Hollywood Story producers have begun to work on a "tribute" to the late actor and have flown to Australia to talk to Heath's school friends and former colleagues. [News.com.au]
• Sienna Miller and Rhys Ifans are going through a rough patch and might hnot get married, sigh. [Daily Mail]
• Speed Racer crashed and burned at the box office. What a wreck. [E!]
• "I wish Halle [and the baby] all the happiness and success in the world, as that is what I'm experiencing at this point in my life." — Halle Berry's former hubby Eric Benet. [Rush & Molloy]
• "I tried to work in an office. Apparently, my clothes weren't right. I was a Gal Friday the 13th. I would answer phones and people would call up very upset. Then they'd call back screaming and yelling because I had to go to the file room and I would get sidetracked. I used to fall asleep reading the mail. I didn't want to. But it was so boring to me and I hated it." — Cyndi Lauper. [Newsweek]