The Walt Disney Company, those white-glove-wearing cartoon animals who want to brand everything you touch or consume, is making a distinct push to become America's premiere baby outfitter, moving their brand's first impression on humans closer and closer to the moment of conception. Soon, we'll all be artificially…

Recovering from pushing a 7-pound human out of you is about to get even more fun! Now hours after giving birth, you'll get a visit from a Disney rep offering free onesies in exchange for a lifetime of consumer loyalty.