…Most of the shoppers looking for Tiana dolls are African-American mothers, but Disney reports brisk sales of Tiana nationwide and not just at urban retail stores. But for the moms and aunts and grandmothers we met at this Target, we heard the same thing as Gwen Arnold told us: Tiana isn't just a doll; she's a symbol.

One baby-boomer aged woman looking for a The Princess And The Frog doll notes that when she was growing up, "[There] was just one type of doll, just the white dolls. That was it. So there wasn't any choice when I was growing up at all."

Another mom tells Raz:

I think the times have changed a lot. And for especially the younger girls, at 9 years old, you have your first African-American president, that's probably going to be all that they ever remember, not the things that I remember from growing up. And then to see their first African-American princess, that's wonderful for them.

Some years, the hot Christmas present comes with a lot of buzz: Cabbage Patch Kids, Tickle Me Elmo, Beanie Babies. But none of those toys carry the historical weight Tiana carries with her, being Disney's first black princess. Whether the significance is apparent to kids — or is just something moms are aware of — is debatable. But you get the feeling that unlike toys which get forgotten or tossed, the Tiana doll will be a gift to remember.

The Symbolism Of Disney's Princess Tiana [NPR]

[Image via Toys 'R Us]

No. Of course not. The Huffy Disney Princess Bike commercial certainly tries, of course. "Where is the prince?" one girl asks. "He's stranded in the castle, we have to save him," cries the other. And then both girls shout, "Princess to the rescue!" That's princess. Not princesses. And it's a pretty forced catchphrase that in no way rings true to what most people think of when princesses come to mind. In fact, the commercial's "twist" just highlights what's wrong with many older Disney movies.

These days, girls — and their parents — are pretty savvy. Pushing the waiting-in-the-castle-to-be-saved angle of princesshood just won't work. But is slapping a new message on characters from old stories just, well, pandering?

On the other hand: Pink bikes! With tassels! What little girl can resist?

Huffy Disney Princess Bike Commercial [YouTube]

In a piece for Newsweek's website, parenting writer Po Bronson explains that his 5-year-old daughter is excited for the Princess And The Frog. But:

My daughter's been infatuated with Disney princesses since she was 3, and she's also now showing some early concerns with her body image. It's important to her to "look pretty," or "look cute." She's said things like, "Those sneakers make my feet look fat."

Bronson admits that he doesn't know where the body-image stuff comes from, but wonders: "Do Disney princesses make young girls obsessed with thinness?"

A study released this week by Drs. Sharon Hayes and Stacey Tantleff-Dunn attempted to answer that question:

Hayes and Tantleff-Dunn brought 121 girls aged 3 to 6 into their lab and showed them video clips for 14 minutes. Half the girls watched princess clips; half watched nonprincess cartoons like Dora, Clifford, and Dragon Tales. Then each girl was given 15 minutes to enjoy herself in a play room, and the scholars recorded how many of those minutes were spent in appearance-related play, such as sitting at the vanity or changing clothes in front of the mirror.

You're probably thinking that the princess-inundated girls immediately went to play dress up and admire themselves, but they didn't. The reasearchers found no statistical difference between the girls who watched princess scenes and those who watched Dora and Clifford. Bronson writes, "Watching Anastasia and Cinderella and Belle didn't make them play longer at the vanity or try on more dresses afterward. It didn't make them more likely to pick the thinnest figure as the 'Real Princess.' It didn't exacerbate their desire to be thinner."

Despite the results of this study, staring at wasp-waisted cartoon ladies has to have an effect — maybe it's subtle, cumulative? Because 31% of the little girls said they always worry about being fat; 18% sometimes worry about it. If Disney's not giving them ideas, who is? Someone closer to home, perhaps? Bronson claims the girls said things like, "Being fat is bad." And, even more telling: "My mommy thinks she's fat."

The good news is that thinness wasn't the biggest concern on the minds of these 3, 4, 5 and 6 year-olds. The bad news is:

Asked what they would change about their physical appearance… these girls wanted to change their hair color, their clothes, and their skin color. According to these young girls in Orlando (40 percent of whom were nonwhite), it helps to be a princess if your hair is blond and skin is white.

Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty: Looking at you.





Do Disney Princesses Make Young Girls Obsessed With Thinness? [Newsweek]

Earlier: Disney Princesses Rely On Good Looks, Little People & Men For Salvation
"Practical Character Reader" A Lesson In Xenophobia, Racism & Disney Villains
Is The Princess Problem Even A Problem?
Age Of Innocence? 3-Year-Olds Think They're Fat
Addressing The Princess Problem
Researchers: Disney Movies "Elevate" Heterosexuality
Playing Princess Is Just A Phase... Except When It Isn't

He writes:

…Why has Disney brought out a black princess now? It's not as if the black population of the world has suddenly increased in size or spending power to attract its attention. No, it is sheer, commercial opportunism on the part of Disney.

And:

"…The high-profile nature of President Obama and his First Lady means that this princess is being launched against a heightened consumer awareness of the dreams of black people coming true and it will receive lots of press coverage."

Now, Mitchell is a professor at Cass Business School in London. So he's looking at this from a business perspective. But the concept of The Princess And The Frog — originally titled The Frog Princess — had been kicking around at Disney/Pixar since at least 2006. In fact, the decision to put Randy Newman in charge of the music of the film was made in November 2006; casting for voices started in December 2006. Barack Obama was sworn in as a Senator the previous year. It doesn't quite add up. Plus, Disney's first princess, Snow White, was "born" in 1937. So the question shouldn't be "why now" but "why so late?" Why, for an all-American movie company, does the black princess come after an Asian princess and a Middle Eastern princess?

Is Disney interested in making money? Clearly. But the company is also interested in telling interesting stories, and a fairy-tale set in America, with black characters, qualifies. Even more troubling is this, from Mitchell:

With the increasing rise of successful black American women - think Tina Turner strutting her stuff at 70, Whitney Houston's recent comeback, the Oprah phenomenon and now Michelle Obama all being seen as "princesses" in their different ways - the aspirations of black American women to transform themselves have never been higher.

Really? black American women aspire to "transform themselves"? From what? Into what? This man writes as though every black American woman is living a gangster life in a ghetto, dreaming of being Princess Michelle Obama. There are millions of successful black women in this country, with millions of different journeys. Ms. Obama is not the sole role model black women have. Plus, she is admired by women of all colors. And if any black woman "aspires" to "transform," what the hell do Tina Turner and Whitney Houston have to do with it?

Upon showing parts of this article to Anna, she declared over IM:

"Heightened consumer awareness of the dreams of black people" is the stupidest thing I've read in a long time.

I can't agree more. If you want to argue that black Americans are being covered more by the media, I'd say duh; our president — and his race for office — did call a lot of attention to "being black in America" and resulted in lots of articles about How Black People Live Today and Who Black People Really Are and What Black People Want. But consumer awareness of dreams? The black experience is not a monolith; not a product. Dreams vary, and ONE black Disney character doesn't — and isn't meant to — represent them all.

Don't worry, though, Mitchell expects that any excitement about black people will pass:

Tiana is likely to be a niche as opposed to a mass market product in the long term. So, just as black American first ladies have a finite period of office, so, too, will Tiana.

Look, admittedly I have not seen the film, but it's so dismissive to think of this project as "niche" because it's a black princess. Time will tell, of course, but it's upsetting to assume that mass-market = white. Was The Cosby Show niche? Is Oprah niche? Is Beyoncé niche? Is the wise Latina known as Dora The Explorer niche?

But you know, arguing about Mitchell's ridiculous essay is pointless, really — the man is OBVIOUSLY a little… off. To wit:

…Depending on how many hearts she wins over, someone is bound to make the connection between Princess Tiana and Princess Diana, which will resonate even more strongly with consumers and give the character an added dimension of stardom.

Yeah…no.

Disney Cashes In On Obama Era With Princess Tiana [Times Of London]

Earlier: 11 Cool Things From The Princess And The Frog
5 Possible Problems With The Princess And The Frog
How About An Animated Movie With A Female Lead Who Isn't A Princess?
About That Princess And The Frog Spoiler…
Disney's First Black Princess Is A Little Green
An Early Look At Characters From Disney's Black Princess Movie
Why Has It Taken So Long For Disney To Create A Black Princess?
The Princess And The Frog
Why Is Disney's First Black Princess Such A Challenge?

Not only are characters from the movie already greeting guests, but they will star in "Tiana's Showboat Jubilee," a "rousing, colorful procession with a jazz-filled Mardi Gras theme." The bead-tossing procession heads for a paddlewheel riverboat, where singing and dancing and pyrotechnics continue: The full Disney treatment. (The show will also happen at Disneyland in California, because princesses are magic and can be in two places at once.)

Right now the show is set to run through January 3, but there's always a chance that the movie will be incredibly popular, and they'll add the attraction as a permanent feature.

Even though I've expressed a few concerns about the plot of the film, I think it looks beautiful and I'm excited to see it. And knowing that Tiana will be celebrated at the park through the Christmas holidays makes me really happy: Just imagine the thousands of little black girls who will go to Disney World and, for the first time, see a princess who looks like they do.

Princess Tiana Attraction Opens At Disney [UPI]

Earlier: 5 Possible Problems With The Princess And The Frog

Every few weeks, we deal with the Princess Problem. We wish there were fewer pink toys. We see commercials told like fairy tales; women wear tiaras to get married and some even choose Disney bridal gowns. As Hortense mentioned in May, this year alone, Disney believes it will make nearly 4 billion dollars internationally off of its "Disney Princesses" brand. For years, the Disney princesses were white and passive. Ebner writes:

Snow White, for example, in the film first shown in 1937, is cleaning the dwarves' cottage within minutes of arriving, while the key to Sleeping Beauty is her waiting to be brought back to life by a Prince's kiss.

Of course, more "modern" gals like Mulan, Ariel in The Little Mermaid , Belle, and Pocahontas may act differently in the movies, but when marketed as Princesses? It's just about being pretty. While Disney will finally present its first black princess this Christmas, Sarah Ebner notes that young girls are being set up in a dangerous way:

The Women and Work Commission, reporting on the gender and opportunities gap, found that while girls are outperforming boys at school and at university, they still earn less than men - and the pay gap may be widening. One of the main reasons for this, says the Commission, is that little girls spend too much time in the Wendy house, playing with dolls or pretending to be nurses while their little brothers want to be Bob the Builder.

From an early age, girls are being socialised, it seems, for the caring, soft "feminine jobs" that perpetuate gender stereotypes, job segregation, and lower pay rates.

It certainly is a problem if little girls are steeped in fairy tale culture, worshipping heroines who don't do much else except sing to woodland creatures and wear big dresses and jewels. Not everyone can be Paris Hilton.

Dr. Melanie Waters, lecturer in English literature and specialist in feminist theory at Northumbria University, absolutely has a problem with the princess culture. "[Princess dolls] are promoting a very narrow and prescriptive view of femininity, and one that ought to be outmoded in the 21st century," she tells Ebner. "I think they are regressive. They encourage girls to be passive, and to nurture. There's an aggressive focus on beauty, hair accessories and other images that promote the idea that girls should be concerned with their appearance".

On the other hand, whenever we post about princesses, people inevitably comment that they watched just as many Disney movies as the next gal and managed to be a functioning member of society. And in Ebner's piece, Lizzie Gorham says: "Aurora from Sleeping Beauty is my favorite princess because she marries a handsome prince and because her dress is pink. I like the Princess dresses and the stories. And I want to marry a prince." But Lizzie is three. Tastes and attitudes change, children grow into adults, and can be encouraged to shed ideals, beliefs and fantasies (Santa Claus, digging to China) formed years before. Perhaps the overwhelming princess-ization of toys and media for girls is a problem, but can be solved by a good education, complete with teachings of critical thought and tossing aside of unrealistic expectations.

Is The Princess Sterotype Harming Our Daughters? [Times Of London]

Earlier: Fairy Tale Heroines Return To Dark Roots In Modern Setting
How About An Animated Movie With A Female Lead Who Isn't A Princess?
Addressing The Princess Problem
Disney Pushes Princess "Lifestyle" In Ladymag Form
Researchers: Disney Movies "Elevate" Heterosexuality

The film, which was written and directed by Hayao Miyazaki, was released last summer in Japan as Gake No Ue No Ponyo (Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea) and earned $165 million, making it Japan's highest grossing film of 2008, according to Jim Hill Media. Miyazaki is best known in the United States for his films Princess Mononoke and Spirited Away, which won the Academy Award for Best Animated Feature Film in 2003. Ponyo has already won the Japanese Academy's award for Best Animation Film and Best Score.

The English-language version of the film will open this summer on 800 screens in the U.S., making it the biggest opening for a Miyazaki film in North America. Though in the past the director's films have received critical acclaim but not huge numbers at the box office, Disney has put a considerable amount of effort into making Ponyo a hit in America. The English-language vocal cast includes Cate Blanchett, Matt Damon, Tina Fey, Liam Neeson, and Betty White, and to lure in American children Noah Cyrus (Miley's younger sister) and Frankie Jonas (the Jonas Brothers' younger brother), were hired to voice the two main characters. Plus, though Myazaki rarely does press, he is scheduled to do several interviews in the U.S. next month.

Ponyo tells the story of a baby goldfish who wants to be a human girl. According to Time she runs away from her home in the sea by hanging on to a jellyfish and gets caught in a glass bottle. A five-year-old boy named Sosuke finds her on the shore and frees her, but cuts himself on the glass. Ponyo uses her magical powers to heal him, but when she tastes his blood she starts becoming human. She and Sosuke become friends and she goes to live with him, but this upsets the balance in nature and her father, the king of the sea, tries to bring her back home.

The plot is loosely based on The Little Mermaid, but Ponyo looks nothing like the Disney version. Most of Miyazaki's films feature female protagonists, but romance is usually not the main focus in his films. In her essay on the director's heroines, Freda Freiberg writes that they are:

"endowed with the characteristics of the conventional masculine hero: they are active, assertive, adventurous and courageous. Some... are crusading heroines, fighting the evils of environmental destruction, capitalism and militarism, supporting the victims of aggression and confronting the perpetrators."

Miyazaki once said in an interview that while his films are known for featuring strong female characters,

I don't logically plan it that way. When we compare a man in action and a girl in action, I feel girls are more gallant. If a boy is walking with a long stride, I don't think anything particular, but if a girl is walking gallantly, I feel "that's cool." Maybe that's because I'm a man, and women may think it's cool when they see a young man striding. At first, I thought "this is no longer the era of men..." But after ten years, I grew tired of saying that. I just say "cause I like women." That has more reality.

Ponyo is geared toward a younger audience than many of Miyazaki's previous films, and according to a The Japan Times review and a The London Times review, the relationship that develops between Ponyo and Sosuke is more of a sibling relationship than the love story of Ariel and Eric that fuels Disney's The Little Mermaid. Rather than romance, the film deals with the relationship between parents and children, such as between Sosuke and his essentially-single mother and Ponyo's sea-goddess mother.

While American Miyazaki fans are already eagerly awaiting the film's release, hopefully this summer more kids will get to see an animated film that doesn't follow the typical formula.

Below, check out the trailer for the English-language version of Ponyo:



Tickets for Lasseter / Miyazaki Event Go On Sale Today [Jim Hill Media]
Ponyo: More Ani-Magic From Miyazaki [Time]
Miyazaki's Heroines [Senses Of Cinema]
Why Heroines In Miyazaki Works [The Hayao Miyazaki Web]
It's Kids' Play For Anime King [The Japan Times]
Ponyo On The Cliff By The Sea [The London Times]

According to the blogger at Sociological Images, these items look like magazines, but they're not. They're framed images meant to be hung on the walls of a girl's room. They blend the tabloidy, ladymag celebrity culture with the Disney brand into the ultimate mindscramble of a fantastical dreamland with no basis in reality pretending to be real.

Ariel, with her impossibly narrow waist, is next to a "cover line" which reads "swimsuits that fit every shape." It's meant to be amusing, but "dress for your shape" stories are often an epic fail in women's magazines. Do little girls need Disney's help in looking forward to that? One of Snow White's cover lines, "Stepmothers: Evil Or Just Misunderstood?" is supposed to be a joke, but what if you're a kid who has a stepmom? Don't even get me started on Sleeping Beauty's line, "Find Your Prince."

The blogger writes:

The product suggests that while it is all well and good to be a princess, you should aim to be a famous princess. In addition to occupying castles and fantasy forests, you should grace the covers of magazines. You should aspire to inspire the lust and admiration of the masses, not just your prince.

Aren't little girls who think that tabloid popularity and a man will make everything better little girls with unrealistic expectations? Can't they wait until theyre older for this kind of brainwashing? When they watch Carrie Bradshaw get the man who buys her a shoe closet, everything will seem quite clear.

Modernizing The Fairytale [Sociological Images]
Earlier: Vogue Swimwear
In Which We Explore The Ridiculousness Of "Dressing For Your Shape"
Lucky's "Best" Swimsuits Also The Smallest, Least Supportive
Having Conquered Girls, Disney Moves On To Boys

[Orlando, March 23. Image via Getty.]

ORLAND, FL - MARCH 23: In this handout photo from Walt Disney World, actors dressed as princesses Belle (L), Cinderella and Snow White pose with '30 Rock' actress and executive producer Tina Fey and 'ER' actor John Stamos inside Cinderella Castle at Magic Kingdom on March 23 in Lake Buena Vista, Florida. (Photo by Kent Phillips/Walt Disney World Via Getty Images)

Sure, change is good: Except when it comes to items for which you have a sentimental nostalgia. I refuse to acknowledge the new electronic banking edition of Monopoly, which comes without paper money and includes a cell phone and a flat-screen TV as game pieces. Give me a dog or a wheelbarrow, or else it's not really Monopoly! Candy Land used to have a Molasses Swamp, but kids today don't know what molasses is (and can't use a dictionary?) so it's now the Chocolate Swamp. Don't even get me started on Candy Land: The Movie.

Why are these toy changes so irksome? Is it because we think of precious, happy memories from childhood as sacred and holy? Is it because — in the case of the dolls — you're taking something perfect and plastic finding fault with it? Is it because the changes are (usually) for the worse? Is it because saying, "when i was a kid, My Little Pony had four flat feet, not poseable legs and an ice cream truck" makes you feel old?

Interview - Disney Princesses Toy Designer, Dora Grows up-Stops Exploring, Starts Shopping [Babble]
Earlier: Berry Disturbing Makeover for Strawberry Shortcake
Related: My Little Pony Land

The movie, which is due around Christmas this year, is set in the "jazz age" in New Orleans. Oprah is the voice of Tiana's mother. Anika Noni Rose says of Tiana: "Not only is she the first black princess, she's the first American princess. We've never had an American princess. So, the scope and the significance is larger than people even realize." Uh, Pocahontas was American, though, right?

In any case: Looking at this timeline of "Disney's multicultural royalty," something seems off. The "Princess" movies started in 1937 with Snow White, and the first non-white princess was Jasmine, in 1992. Then Pocahontas in 1995 and Mulan in 1998. More than ten years later, Princess Tiana, of The Princess And The Frog. Why did Disney have a Middle Eastern princess before a black princess? Or an Asian princess before a black princess? Sure, the Disney films tap into fairy tales, folklore and myths — most of which come from European sources — but there are plenty of myths and fables involving black people. American stories, tales from Nigeria, Egypt and South African/Zulu folk tales. Yoruba goddesses of love, Caribbean legends. Why has taken Disney 72 years to come up with a black princess? And will this movie — especially the toothless firefly character — insult, or uplift?



Disney Reveals New 'Princess & The Frog' Toy [Concrete Loop]
Meet Anika Noni Rose: Disney's First Black Princess [People]
Earlier: Why Is Disney's First Black Princess Such A Challenge?
The Princess And The Frog

In addition, there's some diversity in Tinker Bell's world: While the most popular Disney Princesses are white (okay, okay, Jasmine's either Saudi Arabian or Iraqi; Mulan's Chinese), Tinker Bell totally has a black friend! Her name is Iridessa and she's organized and stubborn. Blogger Michelle Schwartz writes for Shameless, "A lot of little girls don’t want to sit around and wait for Prince Charming to marry them; they want to lead the adventure themselves, and fairies are nothing if not adventurous." And young girls seem to be ready for a more active, less passive Disney characters.

American Public Media Marketplace interviewed 9-year-old Bennet Flemmingwood, who used to like Princesses and now is getting into fairies. She says of Princesses: "They weren't doing things for themselves, other people were doing it for them. Like Snow White, she wasn't as smart. You don't take food from strangers." As for fairies? "They're in nature and you don't have to be, like, watching a movie or like wear a fancy dress, they can be more personality and smart."

Of course, Tinker Bell and her friends are still part of a corporate machine; their stories have little to do with the pre-Christian pixie myths from the UK areas of Devon and Cornwall. Michelle Schwartz of Shameless hopes that girls will also discover non-Disney "magical" female characters in books like Holly Black’s Ironside series and Susanna Clarke’s The Ladies of Grace Adieu. But in terms of role models, is Tinker Bell any better than the Disney Princesses? And how come there's no hugely popular female version of Harry Potter — a boy who is "magic" while having glasses and shaggy hair, like a real kid? Isn't Tinker Bell basically a blonde pin-up they've turned into a Bratz character?

Fairies And Princesses And Pixies, Oh My! [Shameless]
Tinker Bell Breaks Out On Her Own [American Public Media Marketplace]

Now there's nothing wrong with Disney sponsoring a race per se. But there is something creepy about rebranding athletic success as "a fairytale" that requires looking in the mirror. And about the phrase "Every woman is a princess, which princess are you?" — as though women have only a set number of identities to choose from. Most annoying of all, Disney appears to be trying to expand the definition of "princess" to include any girl or woman doing something awesome, which is not really a concept Disney should own. Stick with Snow White, Disney execs — stay away from the Marathon.

Princess Half Marathon [Official Site]
Runner's World [Official Site]

Disney's original storyboard is believed to have been torn up after criticism that the lead character was a clichéd subservient role with echoes of slavery, and whose name sounded too much like "Mammy" – a unwelcome reminder of America's Deep South before the civil rights movement swept away segregation.

It's not bad enough that Disney's princesses are often unemployed runaways desperate for a man: The first black heroine works for a white woman?

Well, the new revised film is called The Princess And The Frog and the character is named Tiana. She's 19 and she lives in New Orleans during the Jazz Age. A spokesperson from Disney swears: "All other characters and aspects of the story will be treated with the greatest respect and sensitivity." (But, notes Akbar, will it be as sensitive from this song lyric from 1993's Aladdin? "I come from a land, from a faraway place, where the caravan camels roam, where they cut off your ear if they don't like your face; it's barbaric, but hey, it's home.")

Disney is a billion-dollar business which makes a huge impact, globally, and especially with little girls. Therefore they have a huge responsibility: To make a black princess impressionable kids can look up to. Obviously the best characters are ones who start with nothing and overcome adversity — hence all the orphans (Bambi, Aladdin, Cinderella) and motherless children (The Little Mermaid, Nemo, Aurora from Sleeping Beauty). But how is it that Nickelodeon can figure out how to create an engaging minority-oriented TV show (Dora The Explorer) and Disney — a company founded in 1923, with a history of questionable characters (the crows in Dumbo; Uncle Remus in Song Of the South) — can't draft a politically-correct film about black people? (While we're at it, watch this video called "Racism In Disney.") Anyway, Tiana's story is sure to get what Disney does best: A happy ending.

Disney's 'Subservient' Black Princess Animates Film Critics [Independent]
Related: Disney First: Black Princess In Animated Film [MSNBC]
Racism In Disney [YouTube]
Earlier: What's The Allure Of Everything Disney?
Who's To Blame When Your Fairy Tale Doesn't Come True?

When Rosa Brooks asks her 3- and 6-year-old daughters what they want to be when they grows up, they both answer, "a pwincess." Brooks writes, in an Op-Ed in today's Los Angeles Times:

Don't be fooled by the sparkly magic wands, the pint-sized tiaras and those cute little "animal friends." The Disney princesses aren't sweet and innocent. They're a gang of vicious hoodlums, and they're plotting against you [...] Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and the rest... Rarely slay dragons, play sports, pilot jets or do open-heart surgery. Instead, they fiddle with their coiffures, linger over invitations to the ball, flee ineffectually from evil crones and swoon. You don't have to be Gloria Steinem to realize that these are not, for the most part, useful professional skills in today's world.

The Mecca of the Mouse [Slate]
Resist The Princesses [LA Times]
The Crowning Touch [Portƒolio]

Earlier: Disney Flower Girl Dresses: For Little Girls Who Still Believe In Fairy Princesses
Disney Bridesmaid Dresses: For The Fairy Princess In None Of Your Friends
Disney Bridal: For The Fairy Princess In None Of Us
Playing Princess Is Just A Phase... Except When It Isn't
Marriage Is Not A Fairy Tale
Who's To Blame When Your Fairy Tale Doesn't Come True?

Verdict: Mermaid tails. How, um, literal.

Verdict: Has Kirstie Kelly woman ever seen Beauty and the Beast? No bookish geek girl worth her library would be seen within spitting distance of this much tulle underlay.

Verdict: Oh come on: Would it have killed her to do at least one of those in that Cinderella blue? Think outside the box, ladies. And by that we mean, translate your cartoon idols as literally as possible.

Verdict: Because in Arabia, they accentuate their hips?

Verdict: Notice how all these styles have sleeves of some sorts. After all that time sleeping, we guess Beauty wasn't afraid to play it coy at the altar.

Verdict: Is it weird that the oldest cartoon yielded one of the more modern looking dresses? I mean, at least that middle one isn't a princess dress.