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Addressing The Princess Problem
Sarah Haskins Takes On The Disney Princesses

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Her Grace
05/24/09

In reply to Addressing The Princess Problem
I still want to be a princess and occasionally demand that my girlfriend address me as such. If a duke could rule his domain, I don't see why I can't be a princess and rule mine, and it's about 200 square feet of studio apartment currently.

All of the alternate-princess books mentioned I also loved as a kid. I'm also a huge fan of Robin McKinley and her retelling of fairy tales, and especially her original short story collections A Knot in the Grain and The Door in the Hedge. She has written two retellings of Beauty and the Beast (always my favourite fairy tale) that are beautiful, and the second is markedly feminist. Her books are accessible to young teens through adults (I love them still), possibly younger if the kid is mature and a strong reader.
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resonanteye
05/24/09

In reply to Addressing The Princess Problem
I'm gonna sue disney for not delivering that prince they promised me.
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Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC
05/24/09

In reply to Addressing The Princess Problem
I never fell into the Princess trap because I always liked the villains more. Ursula's still a cool-ass broad in my opinion.
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Mary Ratliff
05/24/09

In reply to Addressing The Princess Problem
This seems the same as Barbie, Videogames, and everything else involving children.

For good parents, it will be something where their child enjoys it and they use it as a parenting opportunity when they can, mitigate the problems, and generally just let the child have fun and grow into a normal human being.

For bad parents, it's a crutch and scapegoat for the fact that they don't feel like doing any of the work and just foist it off on whatever popular thing is prancing by at the moment.

Princess dolls are not causing the entitlement problem among children. You know how you can tell? The boys have it just as bad. And the current generation that's in college right now? They're pretty bad too and they predate the Princess marketing blitz, as far as I know (it could go back further than I realize). The princess craze has grown FROM the "never criticize, your child is always perfect and pretty" school of parenting, not the other way around, IMHO.
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CerebralMagpie
05/24/09

@Meiran: Exactly. I know it's a difficult time in the evolution of society - getting away from smacking as discipline, never saying no etc, and it's making a generation of rat bags. I feel really old, in my 30s, looking at teenagers and despising them for their arrogance, lack of rules and decent rolemodels, and stupidness.

But then I think, and hope, parenting - and society in general - WILL get past this. We will find the tools to make these kids great.
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argle-bargle? or fou-ferraw?
05/24/09

@CerebralMagpie: i'm only 25 and i feel similarly appalled by the behavior that children and teens exhibit in public. especially when their parents just stand by and watch them. hhhhh. i sound like quite the crabby old lady, don't i? i guess that's what years of working retail will do to you.
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Maulleigh
05/24/09

In reply to Addressing The Princess Problem
I loved all that Barbie shit--but my parents always told me to do well in school so that I could go to college and do whatever I wanted in life. Isn't that the most important lesson?

If I had a daughter, I'd let her play with all the girlie crap she wanted--because in my heart I'd know I was teaching her the correct values.

I dunno: I see no danger in princess stuff. In fact, I think it's bad that people see something wrong with it. Whatever women like is not bad for them!!
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tscheese
05/24/09

In reply to Addressing The Princess Problem
Actually, I wanted to be a king when I was a kid. Not a princess, not a queen, a KING. My dad gave me a bright yellow hat from a seed-corn company (ah, the joys of growing up on a farm) and my mom safety-pinned my favorite blanket around my shoulders as a regal robe, and I'd march all over the living room, holding a paper towel roll "scepter," demanding fealty from the cats and the furniture.
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cynicalbeatle
05/24/09

In reply to Addressing The Princess Problem
When I was a kid, I was wayyyyy more into horses than any princess or Barbie stuff. Now that I have daughters, I haven't expressly forbidden any of that stuff, but I'm thrilled that they haven't gotten into it (they're 6-year-old twins). Of all the princess movies, the only ones they've wanted to watch more than once or twice are "Beauty and the Beast" and "Mulan" (ESPECIALLY Mulan).

I was fairly neutral about the whole DP marketing blitz until I picked up a Disney book in Costco, "How to Be a Princess." I hoped it might include the attributes of some of the more kick-ass princesses, but no. "A Princess likes to wear pretty clothes." "A Princess loves to go to dances." "A Princess likes to have fancy hair." "A Princess does nice things for other people." I think the only one that wasn't problematic in some way for me was "A Princess likes to read."
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CordeliaShirley
05/24/09

@cynicalbeatle: well, "A Princess does nice things for other people" doesn't seem so bad.
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eowyn for the win
05/24/09

@CordeliaShirley: Except society trains women to feel guilty if they don't sacrifice their own ambitions to others.
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CordeliaShirley
05/24/09

@eowyn for the win: but on the level of, say, bringing gatorade and aspirin to your hung over friend, or letting that person in line behind you who only has one thing to buy, or not joining in on mean gossip, it's a good thing. nice doesn't have to mean doormat.
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HereComesMyBaby
05/24/09

In reply to Addressing The Princess Problem
My parents always kinda ruined the princess experience. When we went to Disney World, my dad kept saying "notice how they have loudspeakers everywhere that talk to you about Disney history! You can't go anywhere without them feeding you information! They learned that from the Nazis! They're using a Nazi system!"

Amazing.
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pickles.and.olives
05/25/09

@HereComesMyBaby: hahaha oh god, he sounds awesome. please tell me he's read books like 1984..
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HereComesMyBaby
05/25/09

@pickles.and.olives: I think he's read every book ever.
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vamusical
05/24/09

In reply to Addressing The Princess Problem
So because little girls like being princesses, that means parents put them on a pedestal? That makes no sense. I was OBSESSED with princesses and fairies but this has had no effect on my parents' parenting approach, ever.
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argle-bargle? or fou-ferraw?
05/24/09

@vamusical: right? children can enjoy playing princess without becoming entitled brats. 'princesses' exist because of bad parenting, not because of toys, pink dresses, or disney. let's call a spade a spade.
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sjct
05/24/09

In reply to Addressing The Princess Problem
Not to worry, I think it's about the costumes. I remember back to age 5 or 6 when I had a princess-type dance recital costume that I loved, LOVED, LOVED! I wore it every friggin' day until it was tatters. Instead of being a demanding little brat, I put on the benign, regal air of graciousness I'd seen Sleeping Beauty and Snow White have. I'd say, "Would you be so kind as to give me a cookie, dearest Mother?" It didn't bother me a bit that she kept cracking up, laughing at me. My parents used this stuff forever to modify my behavior. "Be a good little princess, okay?" The whole gender stereotype business just flew right over my head because on my regular days, dressed in jeans and t-shirts, I was out being Daniel Boone, hacking thru the wilderness and pretend shootin' bears.
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victoriasauce
05/24/09

@sjct: Kids LOVE costumes. Like ridiculous amounts. I regularly have a Backyardigan and spider running around my house.
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Lola Lotus
05/24/09

In reply to Addressing The Princess Problem
Or this (yes, my parents are hippies):

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Lola Lotus
05/24/09

@Lola Lotus: Whoops. I guess I don't know how to embed video (how do I do that?). It's the Free to Be You and Me clip of the princess who wants to travel the world and find herself etc rather than settling down.
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NellMood
05/24/09

@Lola Lotus: I love Free to Be You and Me! That was my very favorite album as a kid- I remember exactly where it was on the shelf because I was constantly clambering up there to get it.
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Interrobanging
05/24/09

In reply to Addressing The Princess Problem
I've never understood this whole thing. It seems to come up often on Jez too. To me Ariel,Belle,Aurora,etc..I never looked at them as princesses, they just were the girls in the movies. I never understood the whole pretty pretty princess thing and I consider myself to be a typical girly girl. I had tons of dolls, toy kitchens, Barbies, but I never got into the whole princess thing. For girls that do I wonder if it's something the girls come to on their own or do their parents hype up what a princess is? The distinction was never really made for me I suppose. And why does no one ever want to be a damn Queen?
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whynotshesaid
05/24/09

@Interrobanging: I was just coming to say that. I never cared much for the princesses - I mean, I liked them just fine, especially Belle, but I never wanted to BE one. Like, when it came time to dress up for Halloween I was always a punk rocker or a gypsy woman.

Then again, every other girl was into princesses, so maybe it was just my contrarian nature making its first appearance.
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Lola Lotus
05/24/09

In reply to Addressing The Princess Problem
Paper Bag Princess! She saves the prince and goes on to happily live alone.
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roscoe
05/24/09

@Lola Lotus: ah! i completely forgot about that book -- thank you for reminding me. :)
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Jello Mix
05/24/09

In reply to Addressing The Princess Problem
Clearly, we should Blame Canada.
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whynotshesaid
05/24/09

@Jello Mix: They're not even a real country anyway.
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Ionic
05/24/09

@Jello Mix: Y'know, I keep forgetting that we're just America's hat.
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Jello Mix
05/24/09

@Ionic: "Blame Canada" is a song about scapegoating. It is made clear within the lyrics that it really has nothing at all to do with Canada; it's satire.
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Slovenly Muse
05/24/09

@Ionic: Heh. I love that saying. Especially because, well, who wears a hat bigger than their entire head? America is silly-looking, clearly.

I like to think of America as the plump pillow on which we rest our bottom.
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RayneDear
05/24/09

In reply to Addressing The Princess Problem
My daughter plays princess, but she does it with a sword and shield, battling dragons, climbing trees, and generally getting as dirty as possible. She even makes one of her brothers an enemy captive, on occasion.
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mbot says Spock yeah!
05/24/09

@RayneDear: Oh, does she know the book Dealing with Dragons? I remember loving it: [www.amazon.com]
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tscheese
05/24/09

@RayneDear: This is how my cousin and I played "princesses" when we were little kids. We'd pretend that the house was a huge giant castle, full of badguys and alien technology, and we had to defeat our enemies with planning, wits, and a good deal of shouting. We'd make maps of the best "escape routes" (the front door, the side door) and concoct elaborate plots about how evil alien dictators were out to get us. We'd wield broom handles like spears and swat at imaginary enemies (and when we felt like actually punching something, we'd prop up some couch cushions and pretend to beat them up.) We were like ninja espionage princesses. It was great.

Basically, we liked the importance that Disney princesses had - they got to live in luxury and wear fancy clothes - but we preferred being "Executive Princesses," not "Sit Passively on a Doily Princesses."
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