• Scarlett Johansson thinks the media made a big deal out of her e-mail exchanges with Barack Obama because she's female. "It seemed to me to be like a product of extreme sexism," she says. "I kept thinking to myself, 'God, if this was just, like, Kal Penn or George Clooney or any of the other [Obama] surrogates or supporters ... there wouldn't be [any] question about it. Nobody would even talk about it. It was manipulated into such an unfortunate media frenzy of kind of a non-story." Think she has a point? [ET]
• Dina Lohan's response to Anderson Cooper's attack on her reality show: "People are just cruel! This is bad karma for him." Nah, Cooper has good things coming to him, for sure. [Perez Hilton]
• Jenna Jameson is knocked up. The daddy is UFC champ Tito Ortiz. Best of luck, kids. [Page Six]
• Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal seen holding hands in hipster mecca Williamsburg, Brooklyn. [Page Six]
• Rihanna's been wearing a "gossip-inducing piece of jewelry," also known as sparkly ring on that finger. [The Sun]

• Word on Madonna's marriage is that she'll give it one more year. [MSNBC]
• Madonna will perform in her home state, Michigan, for the first time in seven years. Music. Makes the people. Come together. [USA Today]
• Benji Madden and Paris Hilton: Dunzo? [Mr. Paparazzi]
• Amanda Peet is urging parents to immunize their children in a "Vaccinate Your Baby" campaign. "My main message to parents is that they should not be taking medical advice from me or any other celebrity. They should look to their pediatrician, the American Academy of Pediatrics and other experts." [PR Newswire]
• Steven Tyler's memoir: Forthcoming. [Crain's]
• File under not surprising: The people who live in the Hills hate The Hills. [LA Times]
• Do you think Oprah controls more than 1 million voters? University of Maryland economists think so. [Page Six]
• Lisa Marie Presley, 40, is pregnant with twins. Love me tender times two. [E!]
• Jennifer Aniston is planning the "Wedding Of The Year" if you believe OK! magazine, which you probably shouldn't. [Perez Hilton]
• Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham has allegedly been warned not have more children. "She knows she is putting her health at risk if she dismisses the advice of her doctors and has another C-section," says an unnamed source. [News.com.au]
• Samantha Ronson's car got the orange boot. Girl needs to pay her parking tickets. [Perez Hilton]
• Though she has been diagnosed with breast cancer, Christina Applegate will proceed with filming the upcoming season of Samantha Who? Nothing better than throwing yourself into work when you're dealing with crappy lifestuff. [MSNBC]
• Kirk Douglas has been campaigning for a formal apology to African Americans for the institution of slavery for years now. (Did you know that? I didn't.) So when the House passed a formal national apology, Kirk said: "This is the best news I've heard in a long time." [LA Times]
• Michelle Williams and Spike Jonze are smitten kittens. [Perez Hilton]
• Justin Timberlake cuts his own hair. [The Sun]
• Wesley Snipes needs to reimburse the government $217,000 in prosecution costs for his tax conviction. Ouch. [USA Today]
• American Idol held auditions in Puerto Rico and "only" 300 people showed up. Is the show's popularity waning? (Some of us never liked it, btw.) [MSNBC]
• Lil Jon was in "musical limbo" after his record label, TVT, went bankrupt. Now he's signing with The Orchard, a digital entertainment company, so he can develop "lifestyle-oriented marketing and promotion programs," whatever that means. [USA Today]
• The new 90210 girls are skinny, says the person who runs that website called The Skinny. [The Skinny]
• Is Katie Holmes pregnant? This paper points out that she has a "mysterious bump," which appears to be her stomach. [Daily Mail]
• Iggy Pop's equipment has been stolen! He will have to search. And destroy. [Yahoo News]
• Dr. Dre's congnac and vodka brands will hit stores in the next 60 days. Related: his new album is called Detox. [Yahoo News]
• A source says that Britney's recent pix from Mexico — sunbathing in a bikini and swimming with dolphins — were set up by her camp. Who knows what to believe anymore? [Page Six]
• Will Britney play a killer lesbian stripper in Quentin Tarantino's remake of Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!? [Mirror]
• "Everybody is rooting for her, and that's a good thing. I’m on that bandwagon too. I don’t want to see anybody unhappy." —Justin Timberlake on Britney Spears [PopDirt]
• Joanna Lumley, aka Patsy Stone, would do Absolutely Fabulous again: "I don't think that we could do a series, but I'd do a special. Patsy would be completely fossilised by now — she'd be in formaldehyde." [Mirror]
• "I haven't met him yet, but cried when I found out James McAvoy was married. Literally." — Seventeen year old Emma Roberts. [Mirror]
• Bette Midler says she knows that young people dig lip-syncing pop tarts but blames MTV. "Video really did kill the radio star," she says. "After MTV came along, people were seeing their favorite singers in videos, and suddenly there was a certain vision of a song - how it should sound, how it should look. Then [in concert], there was no room for improvisation - everyone wanted an exact replica." Oh, and: "They don't speak. They don't talk to their audience. They may say, 'Hello, New York' or 'Hello, Las Vegas,' in the beginning, and 'Thank you' in between songs, but they don't talk. They don't tell stories or take the time to make a connection, build a rapport. There's no emotion." [Rush & Molloy]

• As per her custody settlement, Britney Spears will get to see her sons 3 times a week, with two overnight visits and potential for more: It's basically like 40% of the time; not bad. [Yahoo News]
• Britney's new songs are, um, angry. The lyrics to one track: "You know they treat me like an ATM, but y'all know that I’m too good for ‘em." [Mirror]
• Britney made a rare public appearance on Saturday night: she attended Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey's fundraiser for Generation Rescue, an organization dedicated to researching autism. [People]
• Angelina Jolie left the hospital in Nice, France on Saturday, a week after giving birth to twins Knox and Vivienne. "Angelina left at 4 a.m. in a blacked-out ambulance," a source tells E! News. "And she's now back at Château Miraval with Brad, the kids, her brother, James Haven, and Bill and Jane Pitt, Brad's mom and dad." So many people. Full house! [Yahoo News, E!]
• Ronnie Wood of the Rolling Stones went to rehab after being on a "booze marathon," but instead of deciding to back to his wife, he's been pining for the 19-year-old model and cocktail waitress he'd been hooking up with. Maybe he hasn't fully sobered up yet? [Mirror]

• Khloe Kardashian's stint in jail sucked! On her way to the hoosegow, a woman on KK's bus had a seizure. The bus was rerouted to a different facility, but a bomb scare at the jail triggered a lockdown — KK had to go into solitary confinement. Then Khloe was cold, so she asked for a blanket — and was denied. She had to watch videos on how to be a good prisoner and was not allowed to change out of her street clothes. Khloe served 173 minutes. [TMZ]
• Not sure why we need to know this but here it is: Jerry O'Connell and Rebecca Romijn are trying to get pregnant. [People]
• Courtney Love wrote a long and rambling MySpace blog post to "Gawker people." [Gawker]
• Frances Bean Cobain is the summer aide at Rolling Stone, but a source says: "she doesn't get coffee for anyone… calls in sick all the time and wears funny outfits." [Page Six]
• Remember how Lindsay Lohan used to live with "close" friend and openly gay Courtenay Semel? Yeah. [Perez Hilton]
• You know how all of the tabloids are reporting on Lindsay and Sam just like any other celebrity couple? Michael Musto says, "I've read things in gossip columns that would never go there in the past and realized, 'Wow, they're going there now.' They don't consider gay a dirty thing anymore. And it's very cool." This is an interesting article about why LL and Sam's relationship is different than other same-sex celebrity relationships that get ignored by the tabloids. [LA Timmes]
• Dina Lohan got Lindsay's age wrong when she was on the CBS Early Show. [Full Disclosure]
• Lance Bass has a new man, a Brazilian personal trainer named Sebastian Leal. Except Sebastian is married. To a lesbian. For green card purposes. And she wants to get divorced so she can marry her girlfriend. Messy. [Perez Hilton]
• Heather Mills is on a £250,000 vacation with her new lover, 36-year-old Jamie Walker. [Mirror]
• Carey Hart on Pink: "We talk all the time and try to stay connected as much as possible. It's a tough situation to be in but I love her to death. I miss everything about her." Sigh. Sad face. [People]
• Jessica Simpson performed her first country show on Saturday night! She was booed. [Perez Hilton]
• Blake Incarcerated is to be sentenced today! Will he be let go? Will he and Amy be reunited? [Telegraph]
• Pharrell Williams is going to be a daddy. The lady in question is a "model type" who travels with him. Naturally. [Page Six]
• Here's a twisty take on the A-Rod story you haven't heard: Alex Rodriguez is "emotionally abused" by wife Cynthia. "Alex has always been into psychotherapy, making himself mentally stronger," a source spills. "He's had several therapists. Cynthia has a master's degree in psychology. Once she found out how vulnerable he was, she got into his head. Several of us begged him not to marry this woman, but he did it anyway." [Rush & Molloy]
• Blind item! "Which newly married diva recently went bananas after reading flirty text messages from her new hubby's ex on his BlackBerry? She locked him out of their (her) house for two nights. Memo to ladies everywhere: If you don't want to know, don't start snooping." [Full Disclosure]
• You've gotta love this picture of Hugh Jackman being "held up" at "gunpoint." [TMZ]
• Pete Doherty has a new ladyfriend, a model named Robin Whitehead. How does he do it? [Mirror]
• Shannen Doherty: Looking forward to appearing on the new 90210. [UPI]
• Shannen will play the director of the West Beverly High's musical. Once more with feeling! [E!]
• DMX has been arrested. Again. That's the second time this month and the third time in three months, if you're keeping track. [UPI]
• You won't see any more of the Verne Troyer sex tape: The law suit's been settled. Small miracles! [AP]
• Darryl McDaniels of Run-DMC had two major blood clots removed from his left arm on Friday. Be well! [AP]
• Is Sean Connery refusing to give his son money to teach the young man to earn a living on his own? [UPI]
• There are "rumored lovers" on the new season of Project Runway and you can click here if you want to know who they are. [ONTD]
• Bravo has picked up Sarah Jessica Parker's art competition reality show. On American Artist, contestants produce a painting, sculpture or other artwork which is judged by a panel of experts. [Reuters]
• Joss Stone is dating Nelly? For real? [Mirror]
• Jimmy Fallon's Late Night will start on the web first. Interesting. [NY Times]
• Is Kelly Osbourne engaged? She's been wearing a ring on THAT finger. Boyfriend Luke Worrell is 18; Kelly is 23. [This Is London]
• Salman Rushdie dates beautiful young women; Brit paper asks, "Just how DOES he do it?" [Daily Mail]
• Three words: L Word spinoff. [UPI]
• Two dudes who are not her father debate whether Miley Cyrus is growing up too fast. [Newsweek]
• Kate Beckinsale's lips "fluctuate in size." [Awful Plastic Surgery]
• The new Gossip Girl ads revel in the show's scandalous reputation. Words like "very bad," "inappropriate," "nasty" and "nightmare" are plastered over the too-hot-for-their-own-good stars. [TVGasm]
• "Ohmygod. You're not going to do this to me, are you? Tell me you're not going to do this. Oh come on! It's been such a long time. Hire somebody that knows enough that we don't have to explain this again." — Gillian Anderson, after being asked why The X-Files is such a big deal. [Newsweek]
• "Lulu is very outgoing, so not like me at all. Max is nasty, mean. He came from two abused homes, so he has baggage. He has short legs and is chubby and hairy, like me before electrolysis. I've learnt a lot from Lulu. When her leg was amputated, she just got right on with her life. No self-pity. She just accepted that she was the Heather Mills of Boston terriers." — Joan Rivers on her dogs. [Daily Mail]

The Good:
Shoshanna Gruss wears clear colors beautifully. I also really like how well her designs accommodate breasts.
I was seriously conflicted about the constellations on Lydia Hearst's breasts (whoa, sorry, I'm like Russ Meyer over here today), but overall, she looks lovely.
Loud, yes. But Ashanti's young and I think this is fun. Plus, the belt breaks it up and the shape's terrific.
Oh, gang, I wish there were a better shot of Natasha Bedingfield's outfit. There were enough partial views and shots with bits of the bodice in them that by careful deconstructive work I was able to determine that her dress is, in fact, very cute.

The Bad
Olivia Palermo: go to jail, go directly to jail. Your dress is covered in spangles, and topped with a lace-trimmed vest.
Full disclosure: I own more than one Charlotte Ronson garment. She looks absurd. Also, like an American Apparel mannequin. (And yes, I realize that's a redundancy.)
Can I express to you my boredom with the shrink-wrapped strapless minidress? Sure, Julie Henderson has the figure for it. But it's profoundly uninteresting without being classic. (Can you tell I'm just trying to avoid using the "I'm over it" construction? So arbitrary and dismissive, it is.)
Nicky Hilton might have gotten a pass on this Missoni-esque number if she hadn't gone and added an equally busy python platform.
I agree, Carmen Kass doesn't look terrible; she's probably incapable of it. But the more I look at this outfit, the more convinced I become that it involved a striking disharmony of proportion and approximately five busy details too many.
Can we put Dina Lohan in here on the basis of hair? My 8 Ball says it is decidedly so.


The Ugly:
I feel a little bad putting inker Kat Von D here, since this is basically just how she dresses. The fact that she wouldn't give a fuck is a palliative.

Images via Getty

[Family Court, Long Island, New York, June 3. Image via Splash.]

And for those of us counting at home, the Lindsay mentions in this 22 minute episode came to a grand total of 11.

• Synth! Dance beat! Breathy vocals! It's Lindsay Lohan's new track, "Bossy." And guess what? It doesn't totally suck. "Stop touching me without permission," she sings. "I'm jut a little bossy. If I want it, I get it — Now." Ha! Like that fur coat? But is the song as good as Kelis's "Bossy"? Well, LL's track was written by Ne-Yo. Lemme know what you think. I may have to listen again. And Again. And then one more time, with rollerskates on. I'm so embarrassed. [People]
  
• Meanwhile: Lindsay's dad Michael is pissed that the Mingling Moms named ex-wife Dina a "Top Mom." He says: "Are you kidding? Look at her off-screen antics, her lack of morals and how she conducts herself. She comes stumbling out of Butter at 3:15 a.m. with bloodshot eyes and a red runny nose, yelling 'Oh, [bleep],' when she saw the paparazzi." Meanwhile, Dina says: "He's on a mission to destroy me." Wow, this kind of stuff must be great for the kids to hear. [Page Six]
  
• So Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon spill all their wedding details to People, including the fact that they get along because they are 'both eternally 12 years old" and Mariah now has a "Mrs. Cannon" tattoo. [Yahoo News]

• Yeah, Amy Winehouse was arrested yesterday after video of her smoking crack and snorting cocaine made its way to police. [Rush & Molloy]
• But! Amy has already been released. She was not charged. [Reuters]
• Funnyman Craig Ferguson is writing a memoir! America On Purpose, due out next year, will touch on his addictions to drugs and booze, failed suicide attempt and career as a punk rocker. Raise your hand if you'd love to hear him read it to you. That accent! [Page Six]
• George Clooney was at the Hearst building yesterday for an Esquire photo shoot and women lost their freaking minds. [Page Six]
• After the Costume Institute gala, Jay-Z and Beyoncé — still in her ballgown — knocked on the door of a just-closed burger joint and ordered cheeseburgers and fries to go. [Page Six]
• Ashlee Simpson's boobs are big so she must be pregnant, right? "It's probably just a great bra, like any girl's secret," says her rep. [Rush & Molloy]
• Rapper DMX was arrested for driving 114 mph in a 1966 Chevy Nova. Y'all gonna make him lose his mind up in here. [TMZ]
• R. Kelly's lawyers have filed a motion to delay his trial... again. It's been five years already. [TMZ]
• "It is a sad day when an icon like Barbara Walters, in the sunset of her life, is reduced to publicly branding herself as an adulterer, humiliating an innocent family with accounts of her illicit affair and speaking negatively against me all for the sake of selling a book ... It speaks to her true character." — Star Jones. [TMZ]
• Russell Simmons and Kimora Lee's divorce is proceeding; Russell is seeking joint custody of their two daughters. Both parties are asking the court to deny spousal support for the other since they each have more money than they know what to do with. [People]
• Brooke Shields is "starring" in a new campaign from Royal Velvet towels. Think of her when you shower. [Brandweek]
• Nicole Richie says: "Joel actually changes more diapers than I do. It's his time with her. He sings to her .... He laughs with her, plays with her. It's amazing." [People]
• Who is Minnie Driver's baby daddy? Minnie hints that he is English and "sort of in the same business." OMG what if it's Eddie Izzard??? [People]
• Does Katherine Heigl want to leave Grey's Anatomy? A source says, "She's working really long hours and is ready to move on." [MSNBC]
• A portrait of Heath Ledger has won a top Australian art prize. [Reuters]
• Wil.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas says that staying away from the Beijing Olympics because of China's human rights record and crackdown on protesters in Tibet is a mistake. "America is talking out of both sides of its mouth," he says. "I know that everything I buy in America says 'Made in China' on it. So for me to just say, 'Yeah, that's right, boycott China' ... you're talking out of both sides of your mouth." [CNN]

• Nelson Mandela personally called Amy Winehouse and asked her to sing at his birthday party on June 27! The former president of South Africa phoned her! Bono, Elton John and Annie Lennox are expected to perform as well. This UK paper says,"Let's hope [Amy] bee-hives herself!" Yuk, yuk. [Mirror]
  
• Meanwhile: Does Blake Incarcerated have a secret mistress? Is he plotting with the "mystery blonde" to run away with her — and a chunk of Amy's £10 million fortune? [The Sun]
  
• Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are due in court today for a progress review. A completely uninformed opinion? She's doing better. [People]
  
• Owen Wilson allegedly picked up some chick (not Kate Hudson) and invited her back to is boat and propositioned her to join him in a threesome with Vince Vaughn. There was a time that a Butterscotch Stallion/Money Baby sandwich would have been soooo hot, and that time was 2001. [Perez Hilton]
  
• Britney's back at work on How I Met Your Mother. She looks cute dressed to match Neil Patrick Harris! [TMZ]

• Tom Cruise's new web site is a finely crafted masterpiece of PR spin. [LA Times]
• Prince! Is working on a book! Featuring poetry and photographs and elegantly sealed in a purple slipcase, of course. [Reuters]
• Dina Lohan is being honored as a "Top Mom" by a Long Island-based charity, Mingling Moms Organization. Ali Lohan says: "My mom is great, she has always been there for us. She helps us follow our dreams. I love her to death." And by "to death" she means, "Sometimes I want to strangle her." [Page Six]
• Pete Doherty is out of jail! He served 29 days of a 14-week sentence and now he's back on the streets. You've been warned. [People]
• John Mayer on the pix of him with Jen Aniston in Miami: "Listen, this is not a scandal, this is not an issue, this is not a problem, this needs no spin control. This is me living my life and a guy with a really powerful lens and I don't fault him, I don't fault anybody, I don't fault you, I don't fault this or that. There are much worse problems in the world. Everything's cool!" Hahaha, stoner. [ET]
• But! John Mayer was seen out with Maroon 5 horndog Adam Levine and John "The Player" was "all over some blond girl," according to a source. Maybe he and Jennifer Aniston haven't had "the talk" yet? [Page Six]
• Maxim's Hot 100 list is a sister act: Ashlee Simpson is No. 18, Jessica Simpson is No. 53. But while Ashley Olsen is No. 47, Mary-Kate is not on the list at all... Which might be a compliment. [Page Six]
• Hollywood Hills neighbors of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are pissed that paparazzi cars are parking in their hood. [Page Six]
• Barbara Walters is traveling by private jet to 25 US cities to promote her memoir — and she's taking hair and makeup people from The View with her. But! She's paying for it all herself. [Rush & Molloy]
• Jay-Z at a show at NYC's Madison Square Garden: "This concert isn't endorsed by Obama, but it's time for a change." [Rush & Molloy]
• Jeremy Piven was seen having a "knock-down, all-out screaming match" with a brunette at a party. Ari Gold, is that you? [Rush & Molloy]
• The jury may deliver a verdict in the Uma Thurman stalking case today; we'll keep you posted. [TMZ]
• The bench warrant issued for Foxy Brown yesterday was due to a misunderstanding. Foxy is still free! [TMZ]
• Angela Kinsey, who plays Angela on The Office, gave birth to a baby girl, Isabel Ruby, on Saturday afternoon. [People]
• Mischa Barton is pissed at a photographer who snapped pictures of her sunbathing topless. She says: "He's a ridiculous human being. I've never abhorred anyone more. I was so angry, I went up to him and said how disappointed I was with his behavior. He apologized but he was very insincere." It should be noted that this photographer is the same one Nicole Kidman won a restraining order against after she testified that he tried to run her off the road. [Mirror]
• Peaches Geldof, 19 (daughter of Sir Bob) is implicated in a cocaine ring, ruh-roh. [Mirror]
• Nip/Tuck star Joely Richardson kind of wants an African baby. "I'd love to adopt," she says. "I was almost in tears on a hospital visit because there were two or three babies to each cot, but I told myself that crying wouldn't help." [Mirror]
• Yoko Ono is suing the producers of a movie hat challenges the concept of Darwinian evolution, saying they used the song Imagine without her permission and led the blogosphere to accuse her of "selling out." [USA Today]
• "I don't think of myself as an [feminist] icon, but I think of myself as interested and can get ruffled at gender inequality. I still get touchy when people say that guys are interested in sex and girls are interested in love. It's bullshit." —Liz Phair. [Rolling Stone]

• Lindsay Lohan will appear on SIX EPISODES of Ugly Betty, including the season finale. LL will play an old classmate of Betty's who is down on her luck. Naomi Campbell, Christian Siriano, Victoria Beckham and now Lindsay? It's official: Ugly Betty is the new Love Boat. [TMZ]
  
• Oooh, Lindsay's mugshot is being used in a drunk driving ad. [Reuters]
  
• Courtney Love was in the hospital over the weekend; homegirl has strep throat! Stay away. (Not that you needed a warning.) [Mirror]
  
• Thirty guests attended Jamie Lynn Spears's baby shower in Kentwood, LA on Saturday and big sis Britney was one of them. The ladies sat in a circle and opened gifts and nothing scandalous happened, yawn. [People]
  
• Britney hadn't been in her hometown since early 2007. Bet she misses some Southern cooking. [People]
  
• Miley Cyrus appeared at the Disney Channel Games concert Saturday night and thanked fans, saying: "Thank you guys for all your support. Without you, none of this would be possible. I love every one of you and I could not be more appreciative. God bless you." Then she took her top off. Kidding! [People]

• Boo! Amy Winehouse has backed out of recording the theme for the new James Bond flick because she's not ready to work. Also: Nothing rhymes with Quantum of Solace. [Variety]
• But! Amy will duet with Pete Doherty at a gig at Royal Albert Hall. Which sounds um, healthy? [Mirror]
• The nanny who is accusing Rob Lowe of sexual harassment also babysits for Shanna Moakler, whom you may know from the MTV show Meet The Barkers, as she is Travis Barker's ex-wife. [People]
• Oscar nominee Judy Davis is suing a Sydney newspaper over an article that implies she is a child-hating selfish hypocrite. The thing is, she doesn't want floodlights on a soccer field near her waterfront home. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Dina Lohan to Jill Zarin of The Real Housewives of New York: "I don't watch TV. Especially reality shows." Haha bet you will when yours starts airing! [Rush & Molloy]
• Kim Kardashian: Seen going for a laser cellulite treatment... With camera crews in tow, of course! A butt that famous needs lots of attention and tender loving care. [Rush & Molloy]
• Blind item! "Which newly minted TV star is a pushover who already looks ready for rehab? At an L.A. party, the actor was mocked into doing a bunch of shots, despite protesting numerous times that he had to drive that night." [Rush & Molloy]
• Lily Allen spent £300 at a nail salon last week but neglected to tip her technician, tsk tsk! [Mirror]
• Sean "Diddy" Combs was honored with a star on the Walk of Fame in Hollywood on Friday; his mom, kids and baby mama Kim Porter were all in attendance — and dressed to match. [Concrete Loop]
• Avril Lavigne has laryngitis and has canceled or postponed most of her tour. Get a refund, people! [People]
• Dinner with Erykah Badu is up for auction! The proceeds go to the African American Museum in Dallas. [UPI]
• Gary Dourdan is "embarrassed" about his arrest situation. But the luggage in his car with all the drugs wasn't his and the reason he pulled over and cops found him sleeping in his car was because he didn't want to drive while drunk. So there's that. [People]
• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes gave the Beckhams a wine tasting trip to Napa Valley for their birthday; Seal and Heidi Klum and Kate Beckinsale and Len Wiseman also came along. Hot couples wandering through the grapevines? Sounds like the opening scene of a very classy porn film. [Mirror]
• A woman is scheduled to testify at R. Kelly's upcoming child pornography trial, and will reveal that she had a threesome with R. and the allegedly underage girl in the infamous video. Wait, wouldn't that be a crime, too? Oh, the woman was also underage when she had the threesome. Great. And by great I mean awful. [TMZ]
• A Sting charity concert was meant to raise money for the rain forests, but less than half of the show's profits actually went to the cause. "What are they doing with the money?" the Better Business Bureau asked. Good question. [UPI]
• Orlando Bloom: Seen out drinking sake with a buddy instead of attending a fashion show where his girlfriend Miranda Kerr was in the front row. [News.com.au]
• Elle Macpherson is moving from London to her homeland of Australia. [News.com.au]
• Country star Gretchen Wilson, 34, passed her GED exam in April and will don a cap and gown and finally graduate from high school on May 15. Better late than ever! [AP]
• "I came to grips with my bum. Before, I always tied a shirt around my waist when I went for a run. It was ridiculous. I finally told myself, 'I'm not doing this anymore — I have nothing to hide.' I've got some curves, I've got a bubble butt, but I don't mind, because it's what powers me forward when I run." — Elisabeth Hasselebeck. [Page Six]
• "Unfortunately for certain media outlets, you will never be able 2 'Michael Jackson' me. That means 2 make it seem like everything I do is so weird or out of place... they always try 2 make it seem like everything is about my ego! That joke is getting old. At a certain point you have 2 respect that I'm one of the last artist that still cares about the fans having the best time of there lives!" —Kanye West. [Perez Hilton]
• Iron Man made $100 million? This country confuses me. [E!]

• Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and all of their kids have hit the French Riviera. They're staying in a villa owned by Microsoft's Paul Allen that has breathtaking views of the Mediterranean Sea. A source says: "They love France and will now be here until after the babies are born and Angie is looking at Marseille hospitals as a potential place to give birth." [E!]
  
• These rumors about Mariah Carey marrying Nick Cannon will not die. Could they possibly be true??? [People]
  
• Gossip Girl gossip: Girl-on-girl action is on its way! [Perez Hilton]
  
• Plus! Lisa Loeb will make a cameo on Gossip Girl, playing a socialite. Hee! [LA Times]
  
• Paula Abdul spaced out or went cuckoo or something on American Idol. You can watch it here. [EW]

• Gwyneth Paltrow has broken her toes 30 times. She says: "I don't know what's wrong with me. Say there's a coffee table that's been there eight years. One day I'll just not know it's there and bash into it and break my toe." Is her macrobiotic diet giving her brittle bones or something? [Mirror]
• Gwyneth was also seen visiting a back specialist. And yet! She wears high-ass heels on the red carpet. [Daily Mail]
• Another story about Charlie Sheen and hookers, yawn. Although: His silk robe with"C. MaSheen'" embroidered over the pocket? Nice touch. [Page Six]
• Britney's brother Bryan Spears is dating actress Ivana Milicevic. You've seen her, she's been on TV and in a bunch of movies. [Page Six]
• Britney was seen walking around a spa in just her towel? Not sure why this is news. [The Sun]
• Newly sober Kirsten Dunst has been taking her All Good Things costar, Ryan Gosling, with her to 12-step meetings. But are they more than just costars? [Page Six]
• Dina Lohan: Seen "dancing, drinking and playing with her hair extensions." [Page Six]
• A judge has dismissed Ron Burkle's lawsuit against Italian businessman Raffaello Follieri, aka Anne Hathaway's boyfriend. [Rush & Molloy]
• Blind item! "What notoriously stingy actress buys books at her neighborhood Barnes & Noble downtown, only to try to exchange the dog-eared copies days later for cash?" [Rush & Molloy]
• Mario Lopez and Karina Smirnoff have not, repeat, NOT broken up. You may now return to your regularly scheduled apathy. [People]
• My Name Is Earl star Jason Lee is expecting a baby with girlfriend Cenren Alkac. Lee has a 4-year-old son, Pilot Inspektor, with his ex. So what kind of name will this kid get? [People]
• The title of the season finale of The Office is called "Goodbye, Toby." Plus: Spinoff rumors! [E!]
• Rapper T.I.: Has a new single, is hot. [ONTD]
• Diddy is hosting a $4 million "mega-party" to celebrate getting his name on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. David Beckham is helping him. Diddy will have 10 private jets; five different custom-made Sean Jean outfits, including a tux, a smoking jacket, and a top hat and tails; $400,000 worth of booze; and goodie bags with his own damn perfume in them. [Mirror]
• A former UCLA Medical Center hospital worker has been indicted in Federal charges for the theft of medical records of celebs like Farrah Fawcett, Maria Shriver and 60 others. She accepted $4,600 from "an unnamed national media outlet" for the info. [Reuters]
• Is Amy Winehouse leaving her record label? [The Sun]
• There is video proof that Ashley Dupre agreed to be filmed for Girls Gone Wild. [Yahoo News]
• Is Ashlee Simpson returning to reality TV? [MSNBC]
• Grammy-winning singer Mya was scheduled to being performances in Chicago on Broadway, but she's broken her foot! Sucks. [Playbill]
• "We pray for Brody. Honestly, Brody was such a good friend to me. He hooked Heidi and I up, and I think that everything will work out eventually. I wish that Brody and I were still best friends, I pray every day that everything works out between us." — Spencer Pratt. [People]
• Uma Thurman's parents testified in court yesterday regarding her stalker case. Uma's mom said she believed the stalker, Jack Jordan, "was someone who would benefit from medical attention." [AP]
• Vanilla Ice is off the hook for domestic battery charges because his wife recanted her original statement. [Yahoo News]
• Simon Cowell pays no attention to smoking bans. "He lights up where he likes - and pays the fine if he has to," says a source. [The Sun]
• Edie Falco battled breast cancer in 2003 but never told any of her Sopranos costars. [Page Six]
• SO MANY blind items from Michael Musto! "What hyper-quirky stage actor (who's also known for movies and TV) does lots of coke and has sex in club bathrooms when the boyfriend's at home? What fashion-magazine editor—no, not the obvious one—still has no idea how to use the Internet? (She has to have e-mails read aloud to her and then dictates the reply.) What current anchor is said to have been lesbian lovers with that unhinged late anchor, according to ancient legend? Which female rocker best known from the '70s and '80s recently got so plowed she blew chunks all over a nightclub? Which star who went from Hollywood hotshot to joke to rebounding talent has an impressively large member to go with his award? What longtime r&b singer was spotted in Harlem, where she told a fan who accosted her: 'If you ain't the crack man, don't come near me!'? Which legendary actor's bisexual father is murmured to have died of AIDS, not of "cancer," as the family officially reported? Which scandal-ridden ex-TV personality would have gotten a gay record deal, but he wouldn't come out of the closet? Shouldn't someone say, 'Who do you think you are?' Which star who denies being gay used to give so-so head and has a penis that's even less than four and a half inches? What famous grandson is so delightfully kinky he recently lodged M&Ms up his butt, turning his hole into a veritable McFlurry of sexual delight? (Alas, they melted before they could be of any use.) About which talk-show host's supposed girlfriend was Rosie O'Donnell heard to say: 'Look at her nails! She could never be a lesbian with those nails!'?" [Village Voice]

• If this whole Jezebel thing doesn't work out, we now know how to become an internet "escort."
  
• Lilly Ledbetter is a stand-up lady. Maybe someday women will get equal pay for equal work, but not today.
  
• But look! Babies and puppies!
  
• We became certified Tina Feynatics.
  
• We talked about moms! You can't live with them, can't shed their DNA.

• Spitzer? I don't even know 'er!
• We were not that into the Sex and the City-branded lingerie. Shudder.
• The Real Housewives of New York City reunion was possibly the best 60 minutes of television we've ever seen. Thank GOD it's been picked up for a second season! We can't wait to hang with Ramoarawn again.
• So throw on that muumuu, and remember: VD is for Everybody.

• The Perfectionist Mother — whose family must look perfect in every way
• The Unpredictable Mother- whose ups and downs can create lifelong anxiety and depression in her son or daughter
• The "Me First" Mother — whose children come second or last
• The "Best Friend" Mother — who's now in vogue but can wreak havoc
• The Complete Mother- who provides guidance and shows compassion to her child

• The Clueless Mom — who really believes you were "studying" when you come home with grass on your back and doesn't know what that pretty glass vase in your room is really for
• The Alarmist Mom — who thinks the desks at school might be made with carcinogenic materials and wonders if your moles are "growing" and assumes you're dead if you don't call exactly at 11p.m.
• The Mean Mom — who grounds you first, asks questions later. Hates your boyfriends, tells you you're going nowhere fast. New friends come over once and never again. Capable of withering plants with a single gaze.
• The Old-Country Mom — who was born elsewhere and uses you as an interpreter, ambassador and errand-runner. Understands more English than she lets on but pretends not to. Just wants you to marry a nice boy.
• The Stage Mom — who pushes you into fame but hates being left behind; wants to share (or steal) the spotlight. See: Lohan, Dina; Rocky.

How Your Mother's Emotional Legacy Impacts Your Life [EurekAlert]

Earlier: Being A "Cool" Mom Isn't Very Good For The Kids

• Cameron Diaz and Gerard Butler: Three dates in ten days. Touchy-feely everywhere. It's like, so on. Yeah, this is the kind of news that makes us ache inside. You, too? [Mirror]
  
• Neither Beyoncé nor Jay-Z have confirmed that they were married. But on stage in North Carolina on Saturday, Mary J. Blige (who is on tour with Jay) shouted "Congratulations to my man, Jay-Z, and my girl B," during the show. If Mary says it, you gotta believe! [People]
  
• Oooh, apparently guests at the Z-Knowles wedding were asked to leave all cell phones, cameras and guns at home and were frisked at the door — yet three guns were left in an "amnesty box" outside Jay-Z's apartment. Dangerously in love! [Mirror]
  
• Pregnant Jamie Lynn Spears spent her 17th birthday eating at Ruby Tuesday and shopping at Wal-Mart with her fiancé. [People]
  
• "I work with underprivileged girls, mostly minorities, who hate themselves because they don't look like Lauren Conrad. Who the fuck wants to look like the girls on The Hills? They're complete nitwits. Success is about more than acquiring a Hermes bag." — Stacy London of What Not To Wear. [Rush & Molloy]

• Click here to see what Scarlett Johansson's album cover looks like. (She's lying on some ferns inside of a stump or something, but it looks prettier than it sounds.) [People]
• Jessica Alba had a baby shower on Sunday; Rashida Jones, Jaime King and Kim Kardashian were in attendance. The menu featured chicken, tiger shrimp, dark chocolate-dipped strawberries and cupcakes. Jess received strollers, cradles, Dr. Seuss books, rattles and clothes. Yawn. [E!]
• Lily Allen and Kelly Osbourne turned up at the same event wearing the same Vivienne Westwood dress. Horrors! [Mirror]
• Madonna will adopt a kid from India after she finishes promoting her new album. Namaste! [The Sun]
• Um, unless, as this paper says, David Banda is the last child she ever adopts. [The Sun]
• Thandie Newton is going to play Condi Rice in Oliver Stone's new movie??? Love her, but she doesn't look like the Secretary of State. Then again, Josh Brolin doesn't look like W, so. Sigh. [LA Times]
• Nicky Hilton, who is dating Mary-Kate Olsen's ex, David Katzenberg, is becoming good friends with The Hills' Whitney Port, who is dating Ashley Olsen's ex, Matt Kaplan. Are you keeping up? Think of it this way: Hollywood is one giant bacteria swap. [Page Six]
• Dane Cook's neighbors hate him because he doesn't pick up after his dog. Gross. [Page Six]
• Paul McCartney and Heather Mills' daughter Beatrice was seen shopping with her nanny, picking out her own clothes without her parents there, poor thing. She is 4. [Page Six]
• Meanwhile, Sir Paul has praised ex-wife Linda (and taken a swipe at Heather) by noting that Linda (who died in 1998) "didn't go on TV and say, 'This is who I am - hello' and try to ingratiate herself. Her priorities were private rather than public." [Mirror]
• Oh, and Paul's new girlfriend, "millionairess" Nancy Shevell, seems kind of great. [Daily Mail]
• Unfinished Kelly Clarkson tracks have leaked on to the Internet. That "sucks," says Kelly Clarkson. [Reuters]
• As previously reported, there's an X-rated blow-up doll based on Sarah Jessica Parker and Sex And The City. Will there also be a lawsuit? [UPI]
• Porn star Mary Carey announced "I'm 37 days sober!" at a NYC restaurant last week, then had a glass of wine. [Gatecrasher]
• Jessica Simpson is "shaving" on the new cover of Esquire. [Gatecrasher]
• Ashlee Simpson's album will be released almost at the same time as Mariah Carey's. Doesn't look good for Ash. [MSNBC]
• Did Mariah lipsync on a UK TV show? [Perez Hilton]
• Dina Lohan is "worried" about tabloid attention on daughter Ali, who stars in Dina's upcoming reality show. "It's scary because I did it with Lindsay and got her to the level of success that she is at and with the tabloids ... so with Ali now it's scary ... they are already making things up about her," Dina says. Thrusting her into the spotlight will certainly solve the problem! [UPI]
• Blind item! "Which Disney youth act's gay stylist had the suits in a dither because he insisted on dressing the boys in the tightest possible clothes? The execs had to back down when the "beyond metrosexual" look was a smash with their target 'tween audience." [Gatecrasher]
• George Clooney received an anonymous voice mail from a man telling him to ditch girlfriend Sarah Larson. The man said, "Dude, your friends asked me to give you a message: Dump the bitch before you're sorry!" Clooney had the call traced to a pre-paid cell phone but still doesn't know who left the message. Maybe the person who "writes" IDontlikeYouInThatWay? [TMZ]
• Photo agency x17 has apologized to Tony Parker and Eva Longoria for posting the claims of model Alexandra Paressant, who said that she'd had an affair with Tony after he married Eva. Tony had never even met Paressant. Friday the agency said: X17online.com and X17 Inc. regret having been misled by Ms. Paressant and her representatives and apologize to Mr. Parker for any damage or inconvenience this may have caused him or his wife." [TMZ]
• The reason Naomi Campbell had a hissy fit on a British Airways flight? When they lost her luggage, she reportedly said, "I must have the clothing that is in the suitcase because it is a brand that I have got to wear otherwise I don't get paid." [Mirror]
• Dancing With The Stars champ Cheryl Burke has opened her own dance studio in San Francisco. [ET]
• Jennie Garth might make a cameo appearance in the pilot of the 90210 spinoff! [LA Times]
• Rickrolling has actually spurred sales of Rick Astley songs. Amazing. [Reuters]
• Colin Farrell toured Bosnia in preparation for a new film. ""I felt sick," he says. "It is hard to describe how obviously the air and the land has been poisoned by the act of killing 8,000 people in the space of a day. But you really do get the sense of the pain and the loss and I am sad, I really am sad." [Reuters]
• 21 was number one at the box office again, beating George Clooney's Leatherheads. [E!]
• Charlton Heston is dead. [People]

Earlier: Critics Pledge Allegiance To Tracey Ullman's State Of The Union

• While Justin Timberlake was working with Madonna on her album, Madge offered JT a B-12 shot. "She proceeds to pull a Ziploc bag of B-12 syringes out [of her purse] and says, 'Drop 'em.' I don't know what you say to that, so I immediately dropped my pants," Justin says. "She gave me a shot in my ass and looks at me and says, 'Nice top shelf.' That was one of the greatest days of my life." [People]
  
• Last night, Madonna was been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Music. Makes the people. Come together. Music makes the bourgeoisie and the rebel. [Mirror]
  
• A source calls Lindsay Lohan's new friends "leeches." Maybe LL is used to that? CoughmommyDinacoughcough? [Page Six]
  
• Dina Lohan on her show, Living Lohan, which begins shooting on the 16th and will air around Memorial Day on E!: "Be nice to us." [Gatecrasher]
  
• "I may be Eccentric, i certainly speak my mind and am slow to put out a record i need to mean the world to ME, and im sure i am quite Nuerotic [sic] but 'Bi Polar'. Thats just slander." — Courtney Love. [Rush & Molloy]
  
• Yeah, yeah, we know. Patricia Heaton has no belly button. [TMZ]

• On her MySpace page, Brooke Hogan speaks out against her friend who had a fling with her father, Hulk Hogan: "I think she shoulda thought about what kinda press she was gonna get when she slept with her best friend's famous father . . . I think we're all seeing just exactly how karma works Christiane. Nothing you say will ever put my family back together." [Page Six]
• Superbad star Jonah Hill: Smokes his weed out of an apple bong. Just like Charlize! [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which 8-year-old son of a daytime TV personality told gossip reporters on the red carpet that he had recently come down from bed to find his famous mom drinking margaritas on the terrace? 'She told me she was going to do the dishes, but she lied to me!' the tyke complained earnestly." [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which clean-cut pop star is a jerk behind closed doors? When a top model accidentally sat on his jacket at a recording studio, the warbler sprinted over and demanded she move immediately." [Rush & Molloy]
• Britney's lawyers are trying to get Kevin Federline to pay his own legal bills; K-Fed pleads poverty — despite recently tipping a waitress $2000 on a $365 bill. Being a bad-ass baby daddy is expensive! [Rush & Molloy]
• Meanwhile, Britney may get some financial independence back: A judge ruled that Dad Jamie can give her a debit card that has a $1500 per week limit on it. [TMZ]
• American Idol alum Sanjaya appeared at a Bat Mitzvah on Long Island and sang two songs — for free. Oy. [TMZ]
• Jessica Simpson does not have her pricey hairdresser with her in Kuwait; she flew a commercial airline and not a private jet, and she is staying in the barracks. "She has significantly scaled back her entourage," he rep says. Just so you know. [People]
• Project Runway winner Christian Siriano says the Saturday Night Live skit in which Amy Poehler does an impression of him was "SO FUNNY. The hair was absolutely perfect. I don't think I could have done it better myself. It was fierce!" [People]
• Mark Rons