• Jon Gosselin's having the worst week ever. Earlier, a judge ended his reality TV career and in his divorce from Kate Gosselin today, she got the house and most of the money, while he'll be making huge child support payments.

• An arbitrator decided Jon should pay five figures a month in child support and the $235,000 he withdrew from their joint account was deducted from his settlement (all of the money Kate withdrew really was spent on the kids). Maybe it's time to get a real job. [TMZ]
• "I am very relieved that our divorce has been finalized, and I look forward to the New Year, focusing on the children," said Kate Gosselin in a statement. "On behalf of myself and my legal team, I want to express my deep appreciation to the Judge and his staff, as well as to the arbitrator, for resolving this case. This has been a challenging transition for all of us, but I am confident that we will move ahead with the important task of restructuring our lives." [Radar Online]
• Beyonce's mother Tina Knowles has filed for divorce from her husband Matthew Knowles. A paternity suit was recently filed against Matthew and the documents say they "ceased to live together as husband and wife on or about January 5, 2009," the day of their 30th wedding anniversary. [TMZ]
• Gisele Bundchen revealed that she and Tom Brady named their son Benjamin in a post to her fans on her website. She thanked them and wrote: "I am living a very special moment in my life, Benjamin is a blessing and I could not be happier." [People]
• The Wayans Brothers' former assistant is suing them because he claims they stole their literary masterpiece You Know You're A Golddigger from him. [AP]
• Gross: During a trip to Universal Studios, Michael Jackson's children spotted browsing near the Magnet Max store, which sells pictures of them mourning at their father's funeral for $1.99 each. [Radar Online]
• The Michael Jackson tribute concert in Vienna that Jermaine Jackson was organizing has been cancelled. They couldn't find anyone willing to perform in the show after acts including Mary J. Blige, Chris Brown, and Natalie Cole pulled out. [Reuters]
• Lily Allen was supposed to perform at the charity show Mencap's Big Noise Session on Saturday, but she cancelled because she has a "severe recurrent throat infection." [The Mirror]
• As Keira Knightley predicted, her debut on London's West End stage drew mixed reviews. [AFP]
• Jessica Simpson's extremely drunk makeup artist was arrested early this morning for disturbing the peace and sources say Jess went to the jail to bail her out, but police said the woman was still to drunk to be released. [TMZ]
• The YouTube channels on teen stars including Taylor Swift, Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, Ashley Tisdale, Vanessa Hudgens, and the Jonas Brothers were hacked today so that the front page showed a black screen with a letter on it that collectively spelled out "fuck you." Miley Cyrus' page has the message "I hate Asian." [Radar Online]
• Sources say Tiger Woods' mom Kultilda Woods is "hurt, angry and disappointed in Tiger. She wants to know how he could do this to his family.... She loves him and will support him through anything, but she needs some time to work through this... It was devastating to her. She likes Elin, and adores her grandchildren. She's worried about them. She doesn't want to see them hurt." [People]
• Thursday on The View, Elisabeth Hasselback asked Stanley Tucci if his wife, who died of cancer in May, had seen The Lovely Bones. She Tweeted today: "It was an honest mistake with stanley tucci today & i called him to apologize," she wrote. "He forgave me (such grace)- if only i could forgive myself..." [Radar Online]
• Rescue Me executive producer Peter Tolanbring says the show will bring back Maura Tierney, who had to leave the show after having surgery for breast cancer. He said her episodes will be shot in the spring, "so she can take care of herself and come back then." [People]
• Shane Sparks, one of the judges on the MTV show America's Best Dance Crew, has been arrested and charged with eight counts of child molestation. There is only one victim, a woman who says the "oral copulation and other acts" started in 1994 and continued for several years. Earlier this year Sparks co-star Alex Da Silva was charged with rape. [TMZ]
• Morrissey wrote on a fan site: "I am sorry that [his latest album] Swords was such a meek disaster. It was proposed and accepted as a budget-priced CD, yet emerged everywhere as the most expensive CD in the racks. It was poorly distributed and didn't stand a chance, and ranks as the lowest chart position I've ever encountered." [NME]
• Diddy says his 3-year-old twin girls are "Talking a lot more and they're very demanding... 'Sit down. Don't go anywhere, stay here, do this.' They give me a lot of orders. When they tell me to sit down, everything else gets put to the back burner." [People]
• Sophia Loren says of her famous quote, "Everything I am I owe to spaghetti," "It's not true! I never said it. 'I owe everything to the spaghetti?' It's not true. They put it in my mouth and it still goes on. It's not true. So silly. Can you imagine?" [CBS News]
• Emily Blunt says that while researching Queen Victoria for The Young Victoria, "The thing that shocked me was the required hand-holding down the stairs and Victoria's mother's sleeping in the same room as her daughter until she was 18. How suffocating that must have been, and not being allowed any friends or to read books - basically to be deprived of anything that could be inspiring or influential in any way." [WSJ]
• Sigourney Weaver says, "I changed my name when I was about twelve because I didn't like being called Sue or Susie. I felt I needed a longer name because I was so tall. So what happened? Now everyone calls me Sig or Siggy." [Esquire]
• "I love well-made clothes and its fun and it's a delight to get to borrow them and wear them. I love fittings as part of an actress' life, but it's not a preoccupation for me and I think that's the difference. I have tremendous respect for designers. ... I'm very fond of the world, but I'm not preoccupied. That's a big difference between myself and Carrie Bradshaw." — Sarah Jessica Parker [AP]
• Q: What do you think of Donald Trump? Rue McClanahan: I think of him as little, as infrequently as possible. But I do think he has a very bad hairdo." [N.Y. Magazine]

• Earlier this week on The View, Joy Behar joked about Tiger Woods' mistress Rachel Uchitel: "Yeah, you-ka-tell she's a hooker." Uchitel didn't find it so funny, and her lawyer threatened to sue the show.

• The View responded by issuing this statement: "Joy Behar made a play on Ms. Uchitel's name. This was intended as a joke. We sincerely apologize for the choice of words and for any misimpression the joke may have created." [TMZ]
• Woods, for his part, is taking an "indefinite" break from golf. [ESPN]
• An unnamed Tiger Woods mistress bragged to friends that she had been trying to get pregnant by him for years. "She used to try to arrange to see Tiger when she was ovulating. She thought she'd be set for life financially if she could have Tiger's baby," said a source. Tiger had no idea, but hopefully he's learned an important lesson about birth control. [Radar Online]
• On the Today show, Jamie Jungers said she was introduced to Tiger Woods at a nightclub in 2005 and they ended up sleeping together. She said, "The more we drank, the more flirtatious it got." Isn't that how these things usually go? Jungers insists she isn't part of the escort service that some claim Tiger uses. "I got nothing from this relationship – except a broken heart," she said. [People]
• Escort-service owner Michelle Braun says of Jamie Jungers' story, "That's just a lie. Of course she's going to deny it. What girl is going to go on national TV and admit she was an escort?" [E!]
• In court today Anna Nicole Smith's two doctors and her lawyer, Howard K. Stern, plead not guilty to drug conspiracy charges. A judge refused to suspend the physicians' medical licenses, saying the case has been going on for years, so they're obviously not an "imminent danger." [AP]
• You may have heard that Courteney Cox and David Arquette are adopting a child, but her rep says it's a "complete fabrication." [Daily Express]
• Johnson & Johnson heiress Casey Johnson has been charged with first degree residential burglary and receiving stolen property for allegedly stealing lingerie, mail, clothing, and handbags from her ex-girlfriend Jasmine Lennard's home. [TMZ]
• Here's something you shouldn't regift: engagement rings. The ring Tila Tequila gave her fiancee Casey Johnson is actually the same ring she gave Courtenay Semel when they were dating."It is absolutely not real and Casey is well aware," said Courtenay. "I would not expect Tila to be able to differentiate a real diamond from a fake one. Her ring is as real as her engagement!"" [Radar Online]
• Ashlee Simpson has been cast as a supporting character in Nicole Richie's new sitcom. "Nicole adores Ashlee, and she truly believes in her talent," says a source. "With few other job prospects on the horizon, Ashlee - who desperately wants to establish herself as an actress - was feeling down until Nicole stepped up and promised: ‘I've got your back. What are girlfriends for?'" [Hollywood Scoop]
• Ick. Heidi Montag wrote on Twitter, "Here is a poem I wrote for my hubby Spencer," and linked to a 58-line poem about the flesh-bearded one. Here's a sample: "You are the most selfless, loving, perfect, caring, miraculous soul to be / Every day I am in aw (sic) of you / All of you passions motives are always so pure and true / I feel bad for all the women in the world who don't have you / But sorry ladies there is one and I don't share [Us]
• Charges have been dropped against the 22-year-old Chicago woman accused of videotaping a part of New Moon. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Def Leppard's former manager filed a lawsuit against the band for allegedly not paying her after a 2008 tour. [Radar Online]
• VIDEO: At LAX the paparazzi get too close to a woman in Axl Rose's entourage. He says, "touch her again, I'll break his fucking neck." The photographer touches her again and Axl knocks him to the ground. [TMZ]
• A woman called the police from Nelly's house after she saw "an older man with glasses and a mustache" walking around the house with a duffel bag full of video games and electronics. When the man was asked "why are you here?" he didn't answer and ran for an open window. Was it an early visit from Santa? [TMZ]
• Judy Garland and Sir Elton John were named the top gay icons by a voters on OnePoll.com. [Contact Music]
• Liza Minnelli says The Wizard of Oz isn't one of her favorite films. "I just loved her so and for some reason The Wizard of Oz bothers me when I see it. They do terrible things to her. ... That's 'cause it's my mom." [AP]
• Alyssa Milano is among the many Italian-Americans offended by Jersey Shore "My husband actually showed me the trailer on YouTube last night, and I got upset," she said. "It upset me. I was like, 'Turn that off!' So no, I don't think I'll be watching that!'" Nicole Polizzi, a.k.a. "Snookie," defended her show on The Wendy Williams Show saying, "The Italian, whatever, national, whatever their organization is, they don't understand that 'guidos' and 'guidettes' are good-looking people that, you know, like to make a scene and be center of attention and just take care of themselves... They are old-fashioned. They don't know that; they think it's offensive, because maybe in their time it was offensive, but now it's kind of a compliment. So they don't understand that and that is what we are trying to say. They are way overreacting to the show. We're 22 to 29 just having fun at the shore. They are just taking it way out of proportion." [Us]
• After a screening of her new film The Young Victoria Emily Blunt said, "I don't feel like I had a burning ambition to play the Queen of England... She learned not to mistake stubbornness for strength, and I learned about the humanity of that world." [Style]
• "I can't go two months without being pregnant, engaged, or breaking up because I'm too needy, which is always the one they love," says Kate Hudson. "I'm not needy. You kind of have to laugh it off, but it can kind of screw up other things around it." She added: "If I walk out on the street with any man, I'm dating him. I've been dating two of my best friends from high school who are like girls to me. I have a child, and there are people involved, and it's unfair to talk about somebody else, especially when you're not in that place yet to be discussing those things." [Star]
• Tori Amos says she went through years of therapy but her daughter Natashya, who was born in 2000, was "the missing piece of the puzzle for me. [Her birth] literally kicked out any kind of negativity or self-abuse that I was holding onto." [CNN]
• Dave Itzkoff, who interviewed the remaining members of the Jackson 5 for Sunday's New York Times Magazine says they "seemed mostly unaware of the aura that surrounds their surname. They were a quartet of garrulous, goofy, occasionally cantankerous men who just happen to belong to one of popular culture's most captivating and scrutinized families - and who are still coping with a devastating loss on that same tremendous scale." [N.Y.T.]
• "I am not proud of being rich," says Ricky Gervais. "I still think they are waiting for me to pick up the wrong fork." [ONTD]
• In Esquire's "What I've Learned" column, Peter Jackson admits, "I'm a technophobe. I don't know how the technology works. But I know what the technology is capable of, which is the important thing." He adds, "My thirteen-year-old daughter makes films with her friends on the weekends. Then she edits them on iMovie, and I sit with her and ask her to teach me how to do it. I'm trying to learn." [Esquire]
• 15-year-old Saoirse Ronan says of her character in The Lovely Bones, "I never really thought of Susie Salmon as someone who was dead... Although her body is dead, her soul is still there. That's what makes Susie who she is and that's what I love about her." [Reuters]
• After an Irish report found that Catholic church leaders covered up widespread sexual abuse of children for 30 years, Pope Benedict said he felt "outrage, betrayal, and shame," but Sinead O'Connor is still calling for him to step down. "Popes have had no problem voicing their opinions when we wanted contraception or divorce," O'Connor said. "No problem criticizing The Da Vinci Code. No problem criticizing Naomi Campbell for wearing a bejeweled cross. Yet when it comes to the evils done by pedophiles dressed as priests they are silent. It is grotesque, unbelievable, bizarre and unprecedented. They stand for nothing now but evil." [Reuters]
• Pierce Brosnan, who appears in Roman Polanski's upcoming film The Ghost, says of the director's arrest, "There's a sadness to the whole situation. What happened was wrong in every way, but I just wish the man well and closure for this time in his life, at this moment in time. He's a magnificent director. He's iconic in the world of cinema. I think we've made a good film, the cast is really top class and I just hope that justice will be served with some dignity and compassion, and swiftly... We had dinners, we talked, I met him before and we got on very well together, but I don't know the man. I certainly knew the history of the man, and my heart goes out to his family, to his wife and to his children, and, as I say, I hope this chapter can be closed quickly." [Daily Express]
• "I tried to lose my virginity when I was seven-years-old," Diddy tells Playboy. "I was on top of a girl who was nine or 10, but it didn't happen - so everybody doesn't have to bug out. My mother and the babysitter whipped my ass." [The Sun]

• A friend of Daul Kim who IM'd with the model the night before Kim was found dead in her Paris apartment says that Kim complained of feeling depressed, and was in an abusive relationship. But she was scared to leave:

• Writes reporter Peter Davis, who read the chat, "She'd punched him in the face; he'd yanked her hair. But she was afraid to leave him, afraid to suffer the agony of being apart. The last time they separated, she hadn't been able to eat, dropping from 112 to 99 lbs. Her friend begged her to leave town, book a job, call her mother. No, she said. She'd miss her dog. She ended the conversation abruptly, saying she was going off to the clean the house. A few hours later, Kim was found by her boyfriend, hanged in her luxurious apartment in Paris' 10th arrondissement." This alleged history of violence between Kim and her boyfriend is the reason her father is understood to not believe his daughter killed herself. The rest of The Daily Beast's story is the usual sensationalist "5'10" stunner" bullshit, leavened with factual errors. Davis has Kim's work history spectacularly confused, and even gets both the name and the URL of Kim's acclaimed blog wrong. [TDB]
• Top Australian model Catherine McNeil — who has been taking a five-month break from her work — appeared in public in Sydney with what appear to be self-inflicted cuts on her arms. (Her agent says she "fell off her skateboard and into some bushes.") Sensitive news articles that quote experts on the subject of self-harm will probably help the situation, right? Oh, wait. The professor this paper dug up says: "Self-harm is, sadly, very common and is becoming a bit of a trend...In some groups of young people, it's even considered virtually a fashionable thing to do." [Daily Telegraph]
• Sharon Stone went to Uganda and saw some people with "nothing to eat. literally zero to eat." So her new jewelry collection for Damiani will devote a portion of its proceeds to building wells in developing countries. [WWD]
• Tom Ford: "I like Twilight. I liked the first one, and I'm dying to see the new one." [The Cut]
• Would Lady Gaga take inspiration from Doctor Who for a stage outfit? I think we all know the answer is yes. [Telegraph]
• Pierre Bergé, who is the president of French AIDS charity Sidaction — the recent auction of Bergé's and Yves Saint Laurent's household goods and art collection went to benefit Sidaction — went on French television to tell off a fund-raising telethon for children with muscular dystrophy. The telethon is "[sponging] off the generosity of the French in a populist manner by exhibiting the unhappiness of children," said Bergé. [WWD]
• Coco Chanel used to wear these big enamel bangles with the Maltese cross on them. They were made for her specially by a socialite jewelry designer who happened to be a member of the Italian nobility. Naturally, Verdura, the company the socialite founded, is reissuing the bangles in sets of two, made of 18ct yellow gold, and set with enough gemstones to make the 7-year-old rockhound in all of us squeal: there are sapphires, rubies, emeralds, amethysts, aquamarines, Madeira topaz, citrines, and a prasolite. Just in time for the holidays! They are, of course, price on application. [Telegraph]
• Stella McCartney had a comedy troupe in drag for her holiday party. Sounds like our kind of shindig. [Elle UK]
• Leona Lewis is going to do an animal-friendly fashion line with McCartney. [OK!]
• And McCartney has lined up Natalia Vodianova for her spring campaign. The Russian model will also be replacing Christy Turlington as the face of YSL — apparently Stefano Pilati is still on his supermodels kick — and she nabbed Givenchy's campaign. [Elle UK]
• Making Hermès boots involves soaking Swiss bullhides in chestnut oil. What, like you think they'd use inferior German bullhides? Pshaw. [Telegraph]
• Sean "P. Diddy" Combs will appear on a sleek, all-white set with windows that display the New York skyline, an animal skin rug on the floor, and a gas fire, to toast his latest act of selling out: Shilling his perfumes — count 'em, he's got two — on HSN. [WWD]
• Anna Wintour went to a party to celebrate current Vogue cover woman Cate Blanchett's role in A Streetcar Named Desire. [TDB]
• Charis Wilson, a model and Edward Weston's muse and wife, has died in California, aged 95. [NYTimes]
• By the way, that little fashion show Victoria's Secret threw a few nights back cost around $10 million to produce. [WWD]
• Sales of women's clothing fell 3.3% on last year for the first half of November, the opening of the traditional holiday shopping period. Department store sales fell 7.1%, and sales of men's clothing fell just 1%. Online sales across all categories rose 19.4%. [AP]

• 'Sup Twihards? This column alleges Robert Pattinson is a "hot property" thanks to New Moon's record-breaking box office this weekend…

The flick sold more tix on opening day than The Dark Knight did last year. Personally, I don't think the Sparkle Vamp did it all alone: The story, KStew, and the Buff Werewolf deserve part of the blame credit. [Daily Mail]

• Fans pretended they were guests of the Bowery Hotel so they could catch a glimpse of Robert Pattinson drinking in the hotel bar. [Gatecrasher]
• Despite being painfully tedious, New Moon earned $140.7 million during its first three days of release in the US and Canada, and is now third behind The Dark Knight and Spider-Man 2 in terms of record opening weekends. [Reuters]
• Sandra Bullock had a big weekend as well: The Blind Side made about $34.5 million, the best opening of her career — just over The Proposal's $33.6 million weekend. [ONTD via Entertainment Weekly]
• Last night at the AMAs, Michael Jackson won four, but Taylor Swift walked away with six, including artists of the year. [USA Today]
• This piece claims that Miley Cyrus' '80s-themed 17th birthday bash was a surprise party, but didn't we hear that she wore a Pretty Woman ensemble? She must have been tipped off. [People]
• What kind of fuckery is this? Amy Winehouse proposed to Blake Fielder Civil? And he said yes? Blaaaaake allegedly told a source: "We've been talking on the phone five or six times a day. On Friday she told me she was going to put the engagement ring [I gave her the first time around] on. We'd changed our status to married on Facebook a couple of weeks back but that was more of a laugh. This is the real deal. She told me she wanted to get married again. I feel so happy." [News Of The World]
• Lindsay Lohan allegedly wanted to pick up a bunch of stuff from trendy LA store Kitson — without paying. A source says it's ridiculous, especially since the store carries her 6126 leggings line: "We're actually really offended. The tables have turned and now we're the customer. We spent $50,000 on her leggings line, but she hasn't come to the store in three years, and she didn't even do a personal appearance. She should have brought cookies for the staff to thank them for selling her leggings because she does nothing. We don't know if we'll continue to carry them." [Daily Express]
• Britney Spears invited several girls from a children's hospital backstage before a show in Sydney, Australia. A nice gesture, and also an attempt to get the lip-sync stories out of the news? [Radar Online]
• Seven bulls being used in the Tom Cruise/Cameron Diaz movie Knight & Day (previously titled Wichita) escaped and ran through the streets of Cadiz, Spain. Two people were hurt as the bulls headed for the beach. [EW]
• Nicole Kidman, Kate Hudson, Pierce Brosnan and Neil Patrick Harris attended the 2009 CNN Heroes Awards, honoring people who make a difference in the lives of others. [NY Daily News]
• If you watch Jude Law do yoga on the balcony of his apartment, he will throw oranges at you. You've been warned. [Just Jared]
• Jude Law and Sienna Miller: Back on? They were spotted out at a club doing shots, holding hands, acting cozy, etc. [Gatecrasher]
• Are Jude Law and Colin Farrell better as supporting actors? [NY Mag]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin had an all-day mediation hearing in Pennsylvania on Saturday, and Jon "didn't dispute Kate having primary custody of the kids," according to a source. Jon showed up with a bouquet of roses, which Kate refused to take: "In what should have been their most serious moment as a couple," says the source, "Jon again resorted to a publicity stunt." [People, Us]
• Heidi Klum's request to become Heidi Samuel: Approved. [NY Daily News]
• Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson celebrated Bronx Mowgli's first birthday with a bouncehouse, a cake and someone dressed as SpongeBob. And, presumably: Flatirons; eyeliner. [People]
• LOL: "Harry Potter actor Daniel Radcliffe defended by Draco Malfoy in cannabis row." [Telegraph]
• Eyeroll: Lauren Conrad has a style book coming out next fall. [NY Daily News]
• The Discovery Channel is psyched to be partnering with Oprah in her attempts to create OWN, the Oprah Winfrey Network. [UPI]
• At the link, quotes from Ellen DeGeneres, Gayle King and Martha Stewart about Oprah and her decision to end her show; Gayle says: "Oprah always makes the best decision for herself… And I have a feeling she will come up with some things to do. We don't need to worry about her filling her time, I promise you that." [NY Daily News]
• Robin Thicke and wife Paula Patton are expecting their first child in May and have already picked names: "We like Julian if it's a boy and Isabella if it's a girl," he says. Personally I think it's weird (possibly unlucky) to name so early… and to tell People. Thoughts? [People]
• Meg Ryan and Nip/Tuck's Julian McMahon? Going on dates? He's Australian, like Russell Crowe, with whom Meg allegedly had an affair, thus ending her marriage to Dennis Quaid. Oh, and McMahon maybe has a girlfriend. [News.com.au]
• Investigators found a receipt showing that Dr. Conrad Murray purchased propofol on May 12 and administered doses from that batch to Michael Jackson in the hours before his death on June 25. [NY Post]
• Gwen Stefani and Jon Bon Jovi are suing ally's Saloon and Eatery in Minneapolis, Minnesota for playing their songs without the proper music license. (?!?!) [Daily Express]
• U2 will headline the Glastonbury festival on Friday night. [The Sun]
• Aerosmith is not looking for a new lead singer, despite reports to the contrary. [UPI]
• Levi Johnston's mom: Going to jail on an intent to distribute OxyContin charge. [NY Post]
• This column asks if Leona Lewis will have Titanic-style success with her theme song for James Cameron's Avatar, but I doubt the movie will enjoy Titanic-style adoration. [LA Times]
• Robbie Williams is looking for investors, if you have $83 mil. [Reuters]
• Creed's Scott Stapp tells Spin magazine there's no actual sex in his 1999 sex tape. You know, the one where he and Kid Rock were on a bus with groupies and received oral sex? [Page Six]
• Jenna Ushkowitz, aka "Goth girl Tina Cohen-Chang" on Glee, says the whole cast is close: "It's disgusting how much we all really love each other." [NY Post]
• Major eyeroll: Carrie Prejean's brother says, "I'm all the way against gay marriage. I don't feel that it's right that a man and a man should raise a kid." [Radar Online]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Personal girlcrush Monica Bellucci is three months pregnant. (Her husband, Vincent Cassel, is easy on the eyes as well.) [ONTD via MediaFax]
• Rachael Ray gave Diddy a diamond cuff for his birthday. [Page Six]
• Q. You're 45 and dating very attractive 26-year-old Hollywood actress Amber Tamblyn. Do you give hope to baldies everywhere?
  A: "If you want to use me as an example, sure. But I think it would be a false hope. It's certainly not my looks that are reeling in the ladies. It's more about my completely average-sized cock. — David Cross. [Guardian]
• "British TV personality David Frost will be honored at the 37th Annual International Emmy Awards for a wide-ranging career that has taken him from pioneering political satire on television to conducting serious interviews with former President Richard Nixon and other newsmakers." [NY Times]
• Skater Tai Babilonia will wear skates, a tiny flesh-coloredthing and a sign across her chest while gliding through Rockefeller Center's ice rink for PETA's "Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur" campaign. [Page Six]
• "A Canadian man has admitted shoving Noel Gallagher at an Oasis concert in Toronto in September 2008, claiming he was drunk at the time." [Guardian]
• Whatshername quit I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. [Daily Mail]
• "Fuck them, what else can I say? Why doesn't that little bitch that wrote that try and write a song — which they wont be able to do and that's why they're sitting behind their little computer, eating their little chips and writing that hateful shit — why don't they write their own song and see what they can come up with?" — Michael Bublé, on a journalist who described his music as being as "cheesy as a quesadilla." [News.com.au]
• "People always compliment me on my performance in the movie, but I cannot take credit for it at all because I truly had no idea what the film was about." — Christina Ricci on The Ice Storm. [Gatecrasher]
• "Age is no issue to me. Fifty is the new 30. Seventy is the new 50. There are no rules that say you have to dress a certain way, or be a certain way. We are living in exciting times for women. Keep up with fashion, keep up with your figure and the clothes you wear. If you look good and you can still do it, then go and do it. I have never worried about age. I am vain. When I look in the mirror, I want to look good to myself. I'm kind of OK with how I'm ageing." — Tina Turner. [Daily Express]
• "We've seen female pop and rock performers do that for the last 10 years. They've been very provocative, owning their power and sexuality. You just don't see men doing it very often. And I'm hoping to break down that double standard with this number." — Adam Lambert on his performance in which "he thrusts a leather-clad male backup dancer's face toward his crotch, and later flashes a knowing smile as he strokes the same dancer's cheek after plowing through a door that swings both ways." [AP]
• "Obama's best material during the campaign was cherry-picked from the things Kucinich had been talking about for a long time. And Kucinich continues to be really the people's congressman. He is the one with the most conscience regarding health care, the banking issue, the bailout. He's the guy who said we should not go into Iraq, and was called a traitor for it. He was a guy who said, 'This Patriot Act is not a good thing, we should not vote for it.' Even people in his own party were saying, 'Why do you say that?' And he says, 'Because I read it,' and there was silence. 'Cause none of them had read it. They just voted yes because they were told to. Same with health care stuff." — Viggo Mortensen. [Mother Jones]
• "I had a girl faint on me. And then the criers. And then the cougars-the Twi-Moms-always come after us. That's been very surreal, because we've had phone numbers slipped in our back pockets. It's like we're The Beatles." — Chaske Spencer, aka New Moon's wolf pack leader Sam Uley. [EW]
• "During World War II, when money was tight, everything was rationed and the most basic commodities impossible to find, women went out of their way to look as attractive as possible… They always wore red lipstick and would melt remnants into tiny containers so as not to waste any, then use a brush to apply it with great care.… here we are in the middle of yet another great recession, depression, slump - whatever our politicians care to call it - and money is tighter than an 18th-century corset. Women still need to cheer themselves up, so what better way to do it than to decorate their faces? I believe that 90 per cent of women can look prettier, healthier and happier in red lipstick, the only disadvantage being that it can leave its mark on a friend's cheek… What better way to face the world than with a perfect face, great hair and good nails? And for those critics who pooh-pooh this idea, let me say to them: just try it. It works - I know it does." — from a column written by Joan Collins. [Daily Mail]
• "I am really in love. I am really happy. Chivalry, opening doors for a woman. It is a big thing. My boyfriend still takes me out for dinner every week. He won't tell me where we are going. He puts on a suit and just takes me out and treats me like a lady." — Lily Allen. [Daily Mail]
• "As an English actress, you have to don a bonnet at some point. This was my time. There was a tsunami of women behind me wanting the role, so I sort of bullied myself in. Many period films are very arch and stiff, and I don't respond to the characters. If I see 'the rebellious English rose' in stage directions, I'm already bored. But this was a girl who was willing to expose herself to the world. That was what was different for me." — Emily Blunt. [NY Mag]
• "I mean, 75 years. That's a long time. [The black experience] is a major part of the story of America. And Disney is excited about telling it. I'm deeply honored to be involved. On the flip side of that, it's not a black movie. It's a movie that has a young black woman as the title character, but it's a story for everyone. I think that anybody can look at this movie and say, 'I remember when I was yearning for something and it was so difficult and I had to work so hard.' That's the beautiful thing about it - it's so inclusive." — Anika Noni Rose on The Princess And The Frog. [NY Daily News]
• "There are certain expressions lifted right off of my face… When she's smiling, she lights up the screen. She has my nose. There's a certain scene toward the end where she has a change in hairdo, in a fantasy sequence, where she looks dead-on." — Anika Noni Rose on Tiana in The Princess And The Frog. [NY Daily News]
• "Pam is due to have her baby in February. I don't know what it is. It's going to be a surprise. There have been a lot of discussions about it but no decision has been made yet. So it's really like a real pregnancy. I think we're going to find out when they write it. What I'm having. It should be really interesting… I don't know if it's that she has chosen not to, but they've chosen not to reveal it. I don't know if you've noticed, but she's always referring to her baby as, like, in things that are not gender-specific." — Jenna Fischer, aka Pam on The Office. [Pop Eater]

• Jon Gosselin attempted to make peace with Kate Gosselin at a divorce arbitration hearing yesterday by bringing roses to the courtroom. Kate turned them down, "but in the end it all came together and concluded on a happy note." [People]

• According to Jon's lawyer, Mark Heller "it's possible" that The Gosselins divorce could be finalized by the end of the year. [People]
• According to ABC, production has temporarily stopped on Courteney Cox's show Cougar Town "in order for Courteney to deal with a private family matter." [People]
• Whoops! Michael Phelps allegedly owes $23,289.16 in back taxes to the State of California. [TMZ]
• "My old agent used to promote me as the male Keira Knightley. (Laughs) I thought: ‘Well, what does that say about me exactly?' Do I pout a lot or something?"-Robert Pattinson [Mirror]
• Melanie Brown, aka Scary Spice, says that she hasn't completely ruled out posing for Playboy: "Playboy are always asking me to pose for them. They've asked me on and off for the past five years, which I'm really flattered by, but it's all about timing and right now it's not the right time. But I definitely haven't ruled it out." [Mirror]
• One of Seth Meyers' ways of winding down on Sundays after a long night at SNL is to call his parents: "I've called them every Sunday since I went away to college," he says, "We started this family football pool when my brother and I were, like, 9 and 7; I guess they felt it was a key thing, to teach us the building blocks of gambling at a young age. Or maybe they figured it would always give us a reason to call home. I lost $10 last week." [NYTimes]
• "Not too long ago. my mum ran into one nun at home, who'd known me, and the nun told her, 'Oh my God, I watched the "She-Wolf" video, and Shakira looks phenomenal in it! I love how she looks, how she does the splits, and how flexible her legs are.' This was an 80-year-old nun. Times are changing."-Shakira [Guardian]
• Jennifer Aniston eats french fries. Is it because she's lonely? Because Angelina Jolie "stole" her husband away? Because she desperately wants a child?! Or maybe, just maybe, she eats fries because—gasp!—she likes them?! [E!]
• John Travolta thanked his neighbors in Ocala, Florida at a recent screening of his new film, Old Dogs, for the support they showed his family after the death of his son, Jett: "We know that we have a community. We know that we have friends. And we know that we are loved. We appreciate it. Jett appreciates it. We love you, Ocala." [People]
• Jay-Z reportedly "refused to be photographed with the Victoria's Secret models for fear of upsetting his wife, Beyoncé. [PageSix]
• Sean "Diddy" Combs spent $3 million on his 40th birthday party, which included a "$30,000 orchid display." [PageSix]
• Mariah Carey has also been a big spender lately, reportedly dropping £750,000 during a recent four-day trip to London. [DailyMail]
• New Moon took in 72.7 million dollars at the box office on Friday, breaking the one-day record set by The Dark Knight in 2008. [Yahoo]
• According to Entertainment Weekly, Lady Gaga's performance at the American Music Awards this evening "appears to be her most far-reaching live effort yet, as though she took a look at that bizarre gyroscope dress-to-piano transition she rather botched on Saturday Night Live and said, "Yeah, but what if we made it even harder for me to get to the keyboard?" [EW]
• Stop the presses: Victoria Beckham took her children out for frozen yogurt! And one of them had a tantrum! But then she gave him a talking to! And then everyone got yogurt! Huzzah! [DailyMail]
• "I don't want to be a sex symbol. I'm a geek. Anyway if I was naked on screen it would not be titillating."-Simon Pegg [Mirror]
• Gayle King, whose previous talk show attempt flopped in the ratings, may get a second chance at a talk show after Oprah Winfrey's show goes off the air in 2011. [PageSix]
• "I think there's some artists that are really focused on the music and the artistry, but I also think being a showman and being an entertainer is more than just being a musician. It's everything-it's something to look at and to listen to."-Adam Lambert [JustJared]
• "He has to be good in bed and the size matters. The inner beauty counts as well, but without a toy it doesn't make it fun. Right now I don't want to have a serious relationship, I want to have fun. I love flirting at the moment. I'm single and I'm enjoying my freedom. But I don't give my phone number out that often. But if I'm dating, I check the boy from the top to the bottom."-Rihanna [ShowbizSpy]
• "The day my Britain's Got Talent audition was shown on TV life changed for ever. I was sitting at home watching the show alone. Then, when I came on the telly, I heard shouting outside my window. My neighbours were outside jumping for joy, screaming and and shouting. We ended up having a bit of a street party."-Susan Boyle [Mirror]
• "I'm in the know because I did courses. I like to be known as me, first of all – that's the problem with being associated with any religion. Different things in Scientology have helped me become even more of an individual, not a blind follower. People are like: "What? I thought they steal your money." Nobody's stealing my money."- Juliette Lewis [Guardian]
• Michael Jackson's famous Moonwalk glove was sold at auction yesterday for $350,000, far above its original estimate of $40,000-$60,000. [Yahoo]
• Amy Winehouse is planning on getting a nose job. "Amy's become totally obsessed with surgery since her boob job," says a source, "She wants her nose made smaller to fit with her small face as she hates the fact her nose is so big and she doesn't like the shape. Amy says she can barely look in the mirror at the moment as she hates it so much. She's booked in for January but is pushing to get it done sooner. Her family are dead-set against it and her brother has gone mad at her saying it will ruin her whole look and she will become unrecognisable. They're trying to talk her out of it but Amy's having none of it." [Mirror]
• "Jake is the kind of guy who can do a spot-on impression of someone you work with that will make you giggle. He plays guitar and has a great voice. Kids and dogs love him. He loves his mom and sister and girlfriend. He's perfect. Too bad he's ugly."-Natalie Portman on Jake Gyllenhaal [JustJared]

[Image via INFDaily.]

• Victoria Beckham put away her Hermes bags and Louboutins and wore shredded jeans and combat boots as she joined son Brooklyn and spent 2 days with impoverished children in Kentucky.

At the link, you can see pix of Posh hanging with schoolkids. Brooklyn is one of Save The Children's youngest celebrity advocates. Posh says: "What I saw in Clay Country was the hope and promise inherent in every child. That's why we have to make sure every single child has a fair and equal start in life. Seeing Save the Children's innovative programs in action, like encouraging healthy eating, I know that we can begin to reverse the childhood poverty crisis. I'm pleased Brooklyn is learning that by helping and joining other children he can play a role in making his generation the greatest yet." [Daily Mail]

• Taylor Swift is on the cover of the new 3D issue (?!?!) of In Style, and inside she talks about meeting Taylor Lautner on the set of Valentine's Day: "He and I have gotten really close," she says. "It would be confusing on the set with two Taylors in the same scene. They were like, 'Taylor, on your mark – no, not you, the other one!' So halfway through the shoot, I said, 'How about you guys call me Swifty and call him Taylor?'" She also says: "I've never thought it was a curse to be single, and at this point in my life, I'm in the mind-set where I choose to be single — like I got to light scented candles and write in my diary and I wouldn't have time for that if I had a boyfriend right now!" [People]
• Oprah claimed that citizens of Dubai get free water, electricity and health care without paying income tax. While it's true residents are not subject to income tax, there is no support for the other claims. Whoops! [Page Six]
• The National Enquirer is reporting that David Letterman's wife asked him to move out; his rep says the story is "wrong." And it appears that reporters from the Enquirer called Dave's mom for a statement, because they are jerks. Her comment: "I don't know anything about that." [NY Daily News]
• This one is real, not a Hortense creation: "Sombre Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie look distant on a rare night out as they join A-listers at art party." [Daily Mail]
• Cops in Germany have searched a home in connection with the Cindy Crawford extortion case. The apartment might belong to Edis Kayalar, the guy who allegedly tried to get Cindy and her husband to pay him not to release a photo of their daughter bound and gagged. [TMZ]
• Vivid Entertainment is trying to buy Carrie Prejean's "erotic footage." [TMZ]
• Diddy's 40th birthday party will be a "fantasy dreamland" with fashion installations, a labyrinth, performance art and light shows. Plus a "very special" musical guest. Who could it be? [Page Six]
• Holy crap, the stills from "Video Phone," Beyoncé's video with Lady Gaga, look weird and amazing. The video should be out this week. [The Life Files]
• Mariah Carey pulled out of a performance on Brit TV show Strictly Come Dancing so she could appear on competing show X Factor. [Telegraph]
• Hayden Panettiere is producing a CW show called HMS — Harvard Medical School — which basically sounds like Grey's Anatomy Junior. [ET]
• Ryan Reynolds will be part of the NYC theatrical comedy show Celebrity Autobiography: In Their Own Words, in which stars read humorous snippets from celebrity memoirs. Ryan will read from Kenny Loggins' The Unimaginable Life: Lessons Learned on the Path of Love. Also reading: Rachel Dratch, Carol Kane, Sherri Shepherd, Michael Urie, and Kristen Wiig. [NY Times]
• Courteney Cox — and husband David Arquette — are looking forward to being in Scream 4. She's not sure about the plot, but imagines that: "He's probably still deputy, and I've had a lot of kids. I don't know. I'm probably miserable, and then I'm sure a lot of murdering will happen." [AP]
• Flavor Flav entered a Doritos commercial contest "randomly and unprovoked" and his spot is "pretty damn good." [Page Six]
• Sigourney Weaver has been named in a £3.1 million lawsuit over a business deal involving Vincent Longo cosmetics, of which she is a part-owner. [Daily Express]
• Eva Longoria Parker has been named Philanthropist of the Year by The Hollywood Reporter. [THR]
• Did you know that Simon Cowell has an older sister named June Cowell? And that she was a child actress? And that she has lived in Majorca for more than 30 years? You do now. [Daily Mail}
• Shayne Lamas was busted for a DUI — she says she had only one drink. [TMZ]
• Did Farrah Fawcett have a "secret lover" in her will? [Daily Express]
• Uncle Jesse John Stamos gets a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame today. [ONTD via NBC Los Angeles]
• Run, Fez, run! Wilmer Valderrrama will join a US Marine veteran on a 100-mile trek across Louisiana. [Page Six]
• If Aretha Franklin wants you to turn the air conditioning off, turn it off! Don't release voicemails and call her a diva. Jeez. [Gatecrasher]
• Hello, random: Donna Mills of Knots Landing is not a fan of Carrie Prejean. More specifically, she thinks the beauty queen should "shut her mouth." [TMZ]
• Black people: Omitted from the Couples Retreat poster in the UK. [Mail on Sunday]
• Lou Dobbs says his departure from CNN was "amicable." [NY Times]
• Yesterday in NYC, while attempting to break up a brawl at a club in Brooklyn, cops shot and killed a bouncer who had once been a bodyguard for Jay-Z, Mariah Carey and Diddy. [NY Post]
• At the link, discover how Led Zeppelin wrote "Stairway to Heaven." [NY Post]
• "I'm not moving to America, I will sometimes go there. I have to go there to make films. We do make films in England but it's more like a hobby. They're like 'Come along, we can make a film. Oh, and can you make the sandwiches?'" — Russell Brand. [Mirror]
• "I'm hoping the chemistry with Ellen will be great — and a great start to the season." — American Idol's Kara DioGuardi. [Reuters]
• "In hindsight, it was a magnificent thing for both of us in the sense that we got to see, both of us, really commit to this. A lot of marriages, it might take years and years for something to befall the relationship to see what are we made of. Are we gonna stand up when the storms come? And to see that that early on was really, it was life changing for me 'cause I knew I was with somebody that was in this. They're really, really in this. And so, I wanted to be in this, too. We both just stepped up to the plate, and she followed her heart, you know, God bless her. It was all life-changing." — Keith Urban, on going into rehab four months into his marriage to Nicole Kidman. [CBS News]
• "Having Jude Law licking my face for three days solid was a surreal experience. It was for a scene in 2007's Blueberry Nights. My character had passed out on a table and Jude had to come in and kiss some cream off the corner of my mouth. We did the take over and over again, so he kissed me about 90 times. There are worse ways to spend your day." — Norah Jones. [Daily Mail]
• "My life was kind of weird. My mother would cook, but we would get looked after by lots of maids. It felt like we lived in these big, enormous houses with lots of guests." — Carey Mulligan's father was a hotel executive, so she lived in hotels while growing up. [Reuters]
• "I can't answer it. The way I write, it's what makes me happy. Like, I can't write when people are looking over my shoulder. I am a little burned out on vampires right now. I think I need a little break. I might go spend some time with my aliens. I might do something completely different. I've got to cleanse the palate. I may come back to it. I did envision it as a longer series. But I wrapped ‘Breaking Dawn' in a way that I felt satisfied with, so if that moment didn't come, I'd be OK." — Stephenie Meyer on the possibility of a fifth Twilight book. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "My sister has an incredible body. I feel sorry for anyone who would judge her, because she's one sexy lady." — Ashlee Simpson. [People]
• "I hate doing school scenes and office scenes; I hate doing mall scenes… if I could do exciting genre films like this and be covered in blood and vomit for the rest of my life, I would be really happy." — Megan Fox. [Showbiz Spy]
• "I own the rights to (Oscar-winning Gone with the Wind co-star) Hattie McDaniel's life story, and I can't wait to tell that story, because that woman was absolutely amazing. She had to stand up to the adversity of black and white (society) at a time when we really weren't accepted. Mr. Lee Daniels is going to direct it, of course, and I'm going to be Miss Hattie McDaniel. I really hope I can do that woman justice." — Mo'Nique. [Reuters]
• "I love to get on that stage, honey, and make you laugh until you pee on yourself… That's my baby. I will never stop stand-up. I will be 97 years old, with two teeth and maybe a bit of hair, and I will be on that stage hoping they're having as much (fun) as I'm having." — Mo'Nique. [Reuters]
• "I feel bad for kids who are just getting famous now. If Reality Bites had come out now and I had all those people Gawker-stalking me, my life would have been hell. I feel bad for the way pop culture seems to be eating itself alive. It ends up belittling everybody."— Ethan Hawke. [NY Post]
• "When I was very young, I used to see books as the thing keeping everyone from playing with me. So there'd be long stretches in the afternoons when everyone was off in their reading corners, sprawled on couches. And I would go up to them and do this little dance to try and break their concentration, which of course they never did: ‘I'm bored!' ‘Go read a book!' ‘I'm bored!' ‘Go read a book!' And of course, now I dream of having long stretches when I'll be able to read a book." — Olivia Wilde, on being the child of writers. [New York Magazine]
• "My mother was a major fashion inspiration. Though she often wore simple housecoats with penny loafers - and usually had a Pall Mall Gold in one hand and a small glass of Scotch in the other, with an empty Hellmann's mayonnaise jar full of ice water nearby to use as a chaser - she could dress up fabulous when she wanted to. In her wedding photographs she wore a perfectly tailored navy blue coat with an off-white lining that had big, hand-painted navy blue flowers. She paired it all with navy pumps and a pillbox hat with an ivory veil. My mother certainly knew how to make an impression when she wanted to, both in the way she dressed and the way she acted. I definitely inherited those strengths from her." — America's Next Top Model's Miss J, in his new book. Do click and see the lovely vintage photo of his mother. [NY Daily News]
• "I'm like, let me get through the taping of Top Model cycle 3,413… Then I'll move to phase two, but I'm thinking about a perfume for tweens." — Miss J, on what he plans to do next. [NY Daily News]

• Today, a judge extended Lindsay Lohan's three year probation for another year to give her time to complete her alcohol education classes. Her lawyer said she's extremely busy and was only able to complete about half of the classes. [TMZ]

• The judge told Lindsay, "I ordered you into court today because I wanted to speak to you directly. I don't want to get any more notices again [that you might be in violation of probation], no warrants ... where you're thumbing your nose at the court." [People]
• Lindsay was called to court because the Right On Programs reported that she hadn't been attending classes after being granted a leave of absence to work. [TMZ]
• Lindsay is moving to Texas to work on a movie and has requested another leave of absence from the program. The DA says if the court has to jump through hoops for her again, they want her to see jail time. [TMZ]
• A progress review hearing is set for December 15. The judge said to Lindsay, "I'm rooting for you to successfully complete probation." [People]
• TLC is suing Jon Gosselin for allegedly breaking his Jon & Kate Plus 8 contract by appearing on other shows and giving unauthorized interviews. The network also says he shut down filming for his own benefit, not for his kids. According to the suit, after they removed Jon from Kate Plus 8, his lawyer gave the network an ultimatum saying that if he wasn't released from his exclusivity clause within the hour Jon would block the filming of the show. [TMZ, TMZ]
• Jon's lawyer says that TLC has "treated Jon Gosselin like a dog by attempting to keep him on a leash and muzzle him and deny the father of eight the opportunity to earn a livelihood to support his family." [AP]
• Stephanie Santoro said when they were together, Jon Gosselin "told me that he took $100,000. It was either out of Kate's account or the kid's account to open his children's foundation." [Radar Online]
• Michael Jackson says his ideas for his This Is It concert series were the result of divine inspiration. "God channels this through me at night. I can't sleep because I'm so supercharged," he told director Kenny Ortega, adding, "You don't understand — if I'm not there to receive these ideas, God might give them to Prince" (As in "the artist formerly known as", not his sons). [Reuters]
• Joe Jackson has put together a VIP package for the premiere of This Is It which will allow anyone with $3,000 to have a private dinner with him before the show. [Showbiz411]
• Police are investigating a woman's claim that Dennis Rodman reached up her skirt at a Miami party and touched her inappropriately. [Radar Online]
• Nicolas Cage is suing his business manager, Samuel Levin, for $20 million because he claims he led him "down a path toward financial ruin." The lawsuit says Levin failed to pay Cage's taxes on time and "placed Cage in numerous highly speculative and risky real estate investments, resulting in Cage suffering catastrophic losses." [TMZ]
• Last year when the IRS came after Nicolas Cage for writing off $3.3 million in business expenses for things like limo rides, meals, and gifts, Samuel Levin said that was "customary in the entertainment industry" but the IRS didn't agree. [TMZ]
• Before yesterday's "Balloon Boy" incident, Richard Heene had pitched a reality show about his family to several production companies; they all turned him down. [Radar Online]
• Richard Heene also pitched the show to TLC, but the network declined. [TMZ]
• In the Heene 911 call, which you can listen to at the link, Richard Heene says he's sure son Falcon is in his homemade balloon because, "We looked everywhere ... and then my son just said ... yeah, he verified it ... he said yeah he went inside just before it went off... We had it tethered ... it wasn't supposed to take off." [TMZ]
• Though it was reported that David Letterman has extended his contract to stay on the show through 2012, he's actually only signed through August. [Newsday]
• Survivor winner Richard Hatch has completed his sentence for tax evasion. [AP]
• Justin Timberlake's mom, Lynn Harless, says, "I have, on occasion, actually beaten him straight up [at golf] ... He took my husband [Paul Harless] and me on a golf trip one time and they were surprised at the end when they added up the scores and I was one up on them ... I have bragging rights for life." [People]
• A month after Martha Stewart said the quality of Kmart's products had diminished she released a statement saying, "Both Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia and I appreciate the long and productive relationship we have enjoyed with Kmart and Sears Holdings. Although we were not able to agree on terms that would have allowed us to continue working together, we wish our friends at Kmart and Sears Holdings all the best." [Reuters]
• The lawyer representing Randy and Evi Quaid in the criminal case over unpaid hotel bills has quit. [Radar Online]
• Kim Kardashian is celebrating her 29th birthday in Las Vegas tonight but Reggie Bush can't make it. "He can't come because of the game," she said. [E!]
• Tim Gunn will have a cameo in SATC 2. [E!]
• While throwing cash at the crowd during the BET show 106 & Park Diddy's $20,000 ring flew off, so he had security frisk 160 people before leaving. It wasn't found. [N.Y. Post]
• Larry Birkhead testified in the preliminary Anna Nicole Smith hearing that he saw her take Topamax, Lasix, Klonopin, Valium, Xanax, Potassium and Methadone, and the bottles all had different aliases on them. [TMZ]
• Marisa Berenson says she wrote her new memoir Moments Intimes because, "It was the right time for me to write about the people I loved and who counted in my life. It's a book about love—things I wanted to tell that are important to me both on a personal and spiritual level." [W]
• Padma Lakshmi doesn't know what she wants to name her baby because, "I just want to see how the baby looks when it comes, and then I'll have some ideas... The name will have to do with my family. I don't think it's going to be called 'Pomegranate' or 'Atlanta.'" [People]
• Spike Jonze says he decided to cast Max Records as Max in Where the Wild Things Are after, "We beat each other up with blow-up boxing gloves and Nerf guns. I was like, ‘Wow, he has a good shot.' So, I cast him." [People]
• Michael Palin says he's obsessed with Mad Men. Some cast members attended the premiere of the Monty Python documentary Almost The Truth: (The Lawyer's Cut) and Palin said, "Everyone's looking for us, but I can't get over seeing the guys from Mad Men." [Showbiz411]
• Paul Shaffer says of the rumor that he was offered the role of George Costanza on Seinfeld, "Just to be clear, I was offered the role of Jerry Seinfeld's sidekick. He had three sidekicks, and I had a feeling mine might've been that role. And any regrets? Well, I mean it was only the most beloved show of all time. ...Truthfully, though, I would have missed the opportunity to play music." [CNN]
• Benicio Del Toro says, "I was about 13 when I lost my virginity, and that first experience was totally a nervous situation. It was in a house with someone I had known only a little bit. She was slightly older, and she'd done it before... I wasn't exactly a natural, but it was good, yeah. I had wanted it to happen for a while." [Daily Express]

• For the love of God. Khloe Kardashian says: "I want to be a skinny pregnant person." Actually, what she says when she's asked about having kids is:

"Honestly, I just lost weight! I want to be a skinny pregnant person, like how my sister Kourtney looks so cute pregnant. I can't be a house [after] I just lost weight." She does sort of redeem herself by saying: "I am always fat no matter how much weight I lose… [My sisters and I] are all curvy and we are all accepting of our body types. I think if I was in Hollywood by myself, I would be so much more susceptible to falling into having an eating disorder." [E!]

• Maybe Khloe shouldn't hear this, but Kristen Stewart says: "You should see my brother; he's, like, emaciated. We both just happen to be really skinny." [Us Magazine via Allure]
• Kim Kardashian will get $50,000 for celebrating her birthday at Tao in Las Vegas. A source says, "Kim is worth the huge fee because she's so hot." [Page Six]
• Headline Of The Day: "Michael Jackson's Giraffes in $100,000 War" [TMZ]
• Sources say the Jackson family has been invited to attend the premiere of This Is It; but Katherine Jackson and other family members insist they have been snubbed. [TMZ]
• Did Nicole Richie and Joel Madden have a secret wedding? Radar Online found out that Joel got a marriage license earlier this week. [The Star via Radar]
• Lindsay Lohan's on probation for DUI and has a court date this morning because she "failed to meet an unspecified probationary condition." [NY Post]
• Madonna on quitting Tracy Anderson workouts: "I learned a lot of great things working out with Tracy Anderson, I did not ditch or fire her. I simply wanted to try a new method of working out when my tour ended. We remain friends." [Page Six]
• Madonna and Carlos Leon threw a party for Lourdes' 13th birthday on Wednesday at trendy NYC restaurant Delicatessen. Lola had red velvet cake. [Gatecrasher]
• Eminem has declined to collaborate with fellow Michigan-er Madonna. She says: "I wanted to work with Eminem. I don't think he wanted to work with me. Maybe he's shy." That must be it! [Avril Lavigne's new man is Dole Food Company billionaire Justin Murdock. Not a sk8r boi. [Daily Telegraph]
• Diddy was throwing money off the stage at a show when his $20,000 diamond studded ring flew off. So naturally everyone was frisked before they left the event, which they didn't like. Guess what? The ring was not found. "He ain't getting' it back," one witness said. "Someone pocketed that, and they probably took it to the nearest jeweler." My guess? Someone swallowed it and is hoping for the best. [NY Post]
• "David Beckham's son Brooklyn is carving out a sporting name for himself... as an American footballer." Coaches at his school have called him a "wonderkid" and a "natural thrower and hard tackler." [The Sun]
• Courtney Love: Reformed Hole and is in the studio recording new tracks. This paper declares: "Should be interesting because she can definitely rock out." [The Sun]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy are still on and he "has no plans of ruining a good thing." [People]
• Jon Gosselin has reportedly approached awards shows with requests to appear as a presenter — and has been turned down by at least two productions. [MSNBC Scoop ]
• The guy who punched Leona Lewis in the face is an aspiring singer who didn't make it as a contestant on X Factor. Of course. [The Sun]
• There will be no lesbian talk in Anna Nicole Smith's hearing. Adjust accordingly. [Mirror]
• Except you can read about how "Anna Nicole Smith's female doctor funneled drugs to the Playmate to fuel their lesbian love affair" at this link. [NY Post]
• Howard K. Stern was urged to send Anna Nicole Smith to rehab, but told Anna's bodyguard rehab "would kill her." [LA Times]
• Does Donald Trump really not know who Tilda Swinton is? [Page Six]
• So you know how January Jones' rack looks huge on the cover of GQ? "They definitely did some significant retouching," claims a source. But GQ photo editor says: "Yes, they're real. And they're spectacular… People think that a person will look the same in every photograph, but that just doesn't happen… Terry [Richardson] likes to work with harder lighting, and that can create a stronger shadow — that, and body position and perspective could give the illusion that her breasts are bigger. January Jones needed no help. Trust me." [Page Six]
• Jimmy Kimmel and new girlfriend Molly McNearney — who works on his show — had a sleepover. And this is news. News accompanied by a picture of Jimmy "pasty and shirtless" on his balcony, watching Molly leave the morning after. [Radar Online]
• Wood alert: Jesse Metcalfe says that doing sex scenes with Eva Longoria for Desperate Housewives made him "pop a wheelie." [TMZ]
• Whitney Houston is mad at Wendy Williams. [Gatecrasher]
• Kylie Minogue: Spotted making out with her Spanish hunk at a party even though her parents were there. [Page Six]
• Depeche Mode's Dave Gahan denies he said "Thank you very much, Chile" when he was in Peru. [AP]
• Nigella Lawson's back went out, so she put on a corset and ate a chocolate bar. I'll have to try that next time. [Daily Express]
• BREAKING: Karina Smirnoff loves being single. [People]
• Fred Durst got married in July. Then separated a month later. And now he's filed for divorce. [People, TMZ]
• A column called "A Night Of Round Table With Monty Python" is predictably full of weird jokes. [NY Times]
• The new cast of Celebrity Apprentice includes Darryl Strawberry, Rod Blagojevich, Sinbad, Sharon Osbourne, Bret Michaels, Cyndi Lauper, Holly Robinson Peete, Carol Leifer, (who wrote for Seinfeld and whom the character of Elaine was based on), wrestlers Goldberg and Maria Kanellis, chef Curtis Stone and Olympic gold-medal swimmer Summer Sanders. [NY Post]
• "At the age of eight I discovered that I could write songs. My dad used to take them to the notary and register them so that nobody could steal them from me. Who does that? What parent takes a treasure in his child's scribbles?" — Shakira. [Guardian]
• "Before my third album, they warned me that if nothing really happened, they were going to drop me. I knew it was my last chance, so I took control. I started to get more involved with production. I started to use my own influences. My music was influenced more by the Anglo-Saxons than the local tropical or Latin roots. When I was singing in Spanish, I had a more rock'n'roll attitude. I was very inflexible, very rigid in many aspects. There were things that would be completely unacceptable to me, like wearing a leotard, or showing my legs. I was more of a purist then." — Shakira. [Guardian]
• "I envisioned that as my life: staying in academia to make a living and then taking summers off to write my novels. I understand the self-loathing and the resentment, and the discipline that it takes to sit down in front of a typewriter or computer every single day, whether it's going well or not going well … I didn't need to research how to be a professor [for Californication's third season] because I'd already been a teaching assistant when I was pursuing my Ph.D.; it was a very clear memory." — Former Yale doctoral student David Duchovny. [The Daily Beast]
• "In Uganda, fat is beautiful. [Jessica is] always scrutinized by the world. Beauty starts from within." — Joe Simpson, Jessica's dad. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I think that for the first few seasons, it was very clear that Amanda didn't want to be bothered with any type of work. She's at a fashion magazine because she loves fashion — mostly just wearing it. There is a certain reality show with a certain stylist [Newton declines to identify it, but duh, it's Bravo's The Rachel Zoe Project], and I thought, 'Oh my God, that's a glimpse of Amanda's future.' We're going to see that Amanda's love of fashion can help her get ahead in her career. Amanda has a real skill that can actually benefit Mode magazine, apart from looking cute - not that she won't still look cute." — Becki Newton, Ugly Betty's Amanda. [TV Guide]
• "I go outside, and I'm wearing a funky T-shirt and my hair is dirty, and people say, 'What's wrong with her? She needs to invest in a hairbrush. I'm like, don't you get it? I'm not that girl! Like, I never was that girl. It's not like I was really clean-cut last year. The commenters are usually worse than the bloggers. I know what people say about me." — Kristen Stewart. [Us Magazine via Allure]
• "I grew up going to Disneyland twice a week. But I was banned for a year because I went to Disney prison. I was really young so I wasn't responsible for this - it was all my brother's fault. You get a stamp when you leave the park which if you put hairspray on it you can transfer it to someone else's hand, so in the parking lot he went up to somebody and said, 'Hey can we spray hairspray on your hand?0' and we transferred it. And then we go in through the turnstile and there's people there called Fox Fighters or some weird name, They take us aside and I'm like six-years-old and my brother says 'No matter what they say do not confess.' He was like a professional felon at twelve!" — Blake Lively.[Showbiz Spy]
• "It started with the fact that it was my very first week on The View and Barbara and Whoopi asked me if I thought the earth was round or flat. The response that came out was, 'I don't know. I'm trying to take care of my son.' I was really nervous. I was totally outside of my comfort zone and I made a comment that I didn't mean to make. It was a brain fart. I did not know that people were going to hate me as much as they did. I mean like, hate me. My website crashed. But then the women of The View came together and said, 'If we didn't think you could be here, you wouldn't be at this table. We love you. We support you. Don't even worry about it.' I got a ton of e-mails from women saying, I don't care if the earth is round or flat either, Sherri. I'm just trying to pay my bills. That's when I realized that we've gotta give ourselves a break or permission to say dumb things and keep moving. I know what a lot of other women are going through, you try to be perfect for everybody. We've gotta give ourselves a break." — Sherri Shepherd on her new self-help memoir, Permission Slips: Every Woman's Guide to Giving Herself a Break. [Time]
• "I'm old. It's an interesting thing to watch yourself grow older on screen. I was watching Up In The Air and I thought, 'Jesus, who's the old gray-haired guy?' And it was me. I never wear makeup for movies and now it's starting to show. But I'm kind of comfortable with getting older because it's better than the other option, which is being dead. So I'll take getting older." — George Clooney. [Telegraph]
• "I want to hate Megan Fox more than anything. We all do. But I read a bunch of her quotes, and she's witty and smart and carefree. I thought, 'This is the kind of girl I'd love to be friends with' "—Kristen Bell in Women's Health. [Page Six]
• "It was a challenging year. I may have thrown myself off a building. I think work saved me. I'm very grateful I had work." — Madonna. [The Sun]

• More on this is Midweek Madness, but Star is reporting that Justin Timberlake and Rihanna are "on." Here's the deal:

They've been talking and texting "nonstop" since the VMAs; but Rihanna doesn't want to be "his lady on the side." A source says: "She asked him on the phone, ‘Are you still with Jessica?' And he hinted that things were cooling off between them." [Star]

• If you were at the Bourgeois Pig on East Seventh Street the other night, you would have seen Madonna eating with Jessica Seinfeld and Jesus Luz… Then Anderson Cooper "rolled up on his bicycle and joined them." [Page Six]
• Rose McGowan has broken off her engagement to Robert Rodriguez. Does this mean no Red Sonja? But what about the awesome poster?!?! [Radar Online]
• Uh-oh! Bomb scare on the set of The Green Hornet, starring Seth Rogen! [TMZ]
• Hospitalized twice in two days? Get well soon, Tori Spelling. [Page Six, People]
• Chris Brown says he's trying to make as much music as possible — while doing community service at the same time. Multitasky. [TMZ]
• "How to fix Jon and Kate? Lose the Eight… Kate Gosselin is and has always been the show's central character. How she mothers, how she bosses her husband around, how she cuts her hair and tucks her tummy - that's what the show is really about." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Lamar Odom says his wedding to Khloe Kardashian was not fake: "It's crazy how perception works in America when you're looking at things from the outside… Anybody that was there will tell you that it was a beautiful event and it was real." [People]
• Some hairstylist claimed he did Khloe Kardashian's hair for her wedding — at a cost of $4500 — but KK didn't actually use him and actually never heard of him. [TMZ, NY Post]
• Michael Jackson's estate is suing the "Heal The World Foundation," which claims it is linked to MJ, but had no connection to the pop star and, in fact, "became dormant before he died." [CBS News]
• Rihanna is being sued by a neighbor who claims she had been allowing cars to drive on his lawn to get to her driveway; she denies causing any damage. [TMZ]
• Daniel Radcliffe: Taking driving lessons. [Telegraph]
• Jessica Alba is in talks to join the cast of Little Fockers, along side Ben Stiller and Bobby De Niro. According to this story, she'll play an "attractive" pharmaceutical rep "whose looks wreak havoc on male characters." In other words: They don't need her to act. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Uma Thurman will star in Ceremony, a flick directed by Max Winkler — Henry's son. Uma will play an older woman who is about to get married when a young man falls for her; the young man will be played by Michael Angarano, aka Kristen Stewart's (ex?) boyfriend. [Variety]
• One of the defendants in the John Travolta case claimed to have document suggesting Travolta wanted his son dead; it was actually just a form that released medical professionals in the Bahamas from liability if Travolta decided to fly his son to a hospital in Florida. [TMZ]
• "An ambulance driver believed he had John Travolta over a barrel and wanted big bucks to keep embarrassing medical records secret, a witness testified yesterday." [NY Post]
• Randy and Evi Quaid's home in Marfa, Texas now has a cease and desist sign out front, because the Quaids has started remodeling job without permits. [Radar Online]
• Remember Edward Furlong? Terminator, American History X? His estranged wife just filed a restraining order against him, claiming he threatened to hire people to beat her with chains and bats. And! She claims he "is smoking cocaine and doing other various drugs. He is very unpredictable." [TMZ]
• This columnist gives Joy Behar's new show three and a half stars and writes: "if there's one thing wrong with Joy's great new show it's her old-lady Aunt Carmela hairdo. Please Joy, call me — I'll pay for you to go to my hairdressers." [NY Post]
• The Tate Modern museum in London has decided to display a naked photograph of 10-year-old Brooke Shields; critics want it withdrawn from the exhibition, called "Pop Life: Art In A Material World." [Daily Mail]
• A Steady Rain stars Daniel Craig and Hugh Jackman reportedly attracted the highest weekly gross for a nonmusical production on Broadway. But as far as I know, neither of them take their shirts off! Weird. [NY Post]
• Bono may be a superstar, but he knows how to wait patiently for a table in a crowded restaurant. [Page Six]
• Lady Gaga sang over the phone at a fundraiser and helped earn over $10 million for charities. [Page Six]
• "Sean 'Diddy' Combs has signed with Universal Music Group's Interscope Geffen A&M label in a deal which includes his future albums and creates a new joint venture with Combs' Bad Boy label." [Reuters]
• Interesting: Melissa Gilbert is playing "Ma" in Little House On The Prairie: The Musical. [USA Today]
• Jennifer Hudson says her newborn baby boy is "the cutest thing in the world" and he "seems like he's very interested in music already." [People]
• "Heather Mills, Paul McCartney's one-legged ex-wife, will appear on the British TV show Dancing on Ice, according to the London Sun." [NY Post]
• Roger Avary, Oscar-winning screenwriter of Pulp Fiction, has been sentenced to a year in jail for drunk driving and causing a fatal traffic crash in Southern California. [Breitbart]
• "A former teaching assistant who was employed by Wynonna Judd to home-school her two kids has been charged in Tennessee with distribution of child pornography." [E!]
• "Pink Floyd star leaves £24m to his children - but nothing to his three wives." [Daily Mail]
• "I had to think: 'What can I do with it? How can I make this fun?' I wanted him to be happy-go-lucky about the whole thing and not a conflicted, angry killer. More of the Hannibal Lecter school of killer: the killer you want at a party. I wasn't trying to banish Seth Cohen. I'm still me. He looks different and is morally corrupt. But I don't see it as a big departure." — Adam Brody, on his character in Jennifer's Body. [USA Today]
• "I went to Oregon to study permaculture and lived in an eco-village for a month outside Eugene. It's called Lost Valley. It was amazing and exactly what I needed, because there had been the Juno thing, where you're getting a lot of attention. You're learning how to live in a holistic way with the cycles of the Earth. At one point I was digging goat (manure) and putting it into a wheelbarrow, and while shoveling it, I just went, 'Oh, my God, this is exactly what I want to be doing right now.' "— Ellen Page on her life after Juno and before Whip It!. [USA Today]
• "I'm not a fancy person. I love small spaces. I like tiny cars. I don't buy things, aside from music and books." — Ellen Page. [USA Today]
• "She's really sexy. I did my wardrobe fittings with her where we would just take our clothes off and look at our own bodies. We both have insecurities or flaws, but we were both like, 'How do we get over this? How do we be the sexiest we can be in this movie?' We pushed each other. We challenged each other. We developed a love affair that was based on truth rather than niceties." — Drew Barrymore on Ellen Page. [USA Today]
• "It took me all my effort to watch The Wire. And I only watched it because I was directing an episode in the last season. Then I watched the whole lot in a very short time and suddenly realized what a great thing I was in." —Dominic West. More from him at the link. [Telegraph]
• "I want to apologize to everybody. I had no idea what it would turn into." — Kristin Cavallari, on introducing Spencer and Heidi to each other. [Hollywood Crush]
• "She is not a nice person… Madonna laid the law down to me before we went out. [She said] I am not going to Disneyland, OK? That's out. I said, 'I didn't ask to go to Disneyland.' She said, 'We are going to the restaurant. And afterwards, we are going to a strip bar. I said, 'I am not going to a strip bar, where they cross dress. ... I am not going to there. If that's how it is, forget this whole thing. ... Afterwards, she wrote some mean things about me in the press. And I wrote that she is a nasty witch, after I was so kind to her." — Michael Jackson, in that new book by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach. [CNN]

• Courtney Love "went nuts" when a guest at a party opened an unlocked bathroom and saw her on the toilet with her skirt around her ankles.

Apparently she launched herself at the dude, and though people tried to calm her down, a security guy told the man: "It's best you get away as fast as possible." [Page Six]

• Backstage at the Emmys, Paramedics were called for Kristin Chenoweth, who complained of a migraine headache and then said she couldn't open her eyes. [Access Hollywood]
• More backstage Emmys drama: A fight between Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Karina Smirnoff got "kind of loud." Apparently they were "screaming at each other"after he said she took too long in hair and makeup. [E!]
• Mad Men and 30 Rock were big winners at the Emmys last night. [NY Daily News]
• Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs won the weekend box office; Jennifer Aniston's Love Happens came in fourth — one of her worst openings in years — and Jennifer's Body placed fifth. [Ny Daily News]
• "Mr. T's Chance of Meatballs character fits him to a T." [USA Today]
• Kate Gosselin taped her Mom Logic TV show pilot over the weekend, and even though guests Mel B and Christie Brinkley were nixed, a source says the taping "went extremely well" and "Kate did great." [Radar]
• Congrats! Zooey Deschanel married Death Cab For Cutie singer Ben Gibbard Saturday night near Seattle. [People]
• Did you know that Susan Sarandon has been a member of a Ping-Pong society for years? [NY Magazine]
• From a profile on Madonna: "Scented Christian Dior candles fill the air in a space so dimly lit, it seems both slightly theatrical and quasi-religious. A huge telephone with multiple extensions bears labels such as M study, M dressing room, M bathroom, Laundry, Music Room, Kitchen, Mews." And: "A lot of people are just really confused by me… They don't know what to think of me, so they try to compartmentalize me or diminish me. Maybe they just feel unsafe. But any time you have an overtly emotional or irrational, negative reaction to something, you're fearing something that it's bringing up in you." [Times Of London]
• Paula Abdul almost refused to co-present with Kathy Griffin at the VH1 Divas concert because of all the insulting jokes Kathy had made. [Gatecrasher]
• Amy Winehouse was leaving a nightclub recently when a passerby shouted "Oi Amy, where's your crack pipe?" [The Sun]
• Heidi Klum and Seal can't decide on a name for the baby girl they are expecting. Seal says: "It has been the topic of debate for the last month. We can't quite figure it out. I'm a firm believer that she will pop out and will tell us what she wants to be called." [Mirror]
• Charlize Theron's nude scene in The Burning Plain — in which she smokes a cigarette while standing at a window in full view of passersby in Portland, OR — was shot at 6 a.m. to avoid paparazzi. [Page Six]
• Oprah had a block party in Chicago and paid more than $54,000 for city services. [Ny Post]
• Joy Behar would love to get Sarah Palin on her new show on HLN and talk to her about the "real America." "It's insulting to men like my father, who fought in World War II, whom she doesn't think are real Americans because we don't agree with her." Joy also says: "Look, it's not that I'm contentious; I'm uncompromising. I'm friendly, but I can't let things go unchallenged. And I intend to give my opinions quite profusely. I might even have to interrupt myself." [New York Magazine]
• New couple? Kid Cudi and Amanda Bynes??? [Gatecrasher]
• They're saying Mischa Barton's a mess in the morning and needs someone to "fix" her coffee, but who isn't and who doesn't? [Page Six]
• So what is up with that Taylor Momsen record contract that allows her singing on Gossip Girl and the "Runaways Project"? She's not in the Runaways movie! Was she was supposed to get Dakota Fanning's part? Or does she have a secret cameo? [TMZ]
• Beth Ditto has banned her girlfriend from touring with her: "[It's] not because I don't think she can handle it, but because that's my life. Say what you want about me. Say it to my face, say it behind my back, write it on the fucking bathroom mirror, I don't care. But do not talk about the people I love. I will lose my mind." [NME]
• An ambulance was called to David Hasselhoff's house yesterday; apparently his 17-year-old daughter, who was home with him, called her mother, saying that David was extremely drunk. A friend of Pamela's called 911. [TMZ, TMZ]
• January Jones, aka Mad Men's Betty Draper, has purchased a lovely home in the Los Feliz neighborhood of L.A., and you can see the pix at the link. [The Real Estalker]
• The Guinness World Records board has refused to let the White Stripes into their record book for playing a one-note concert, due to insufficient interest. Twelve hundred people showed up to a gig in Canada where Jack White played an E. [Mirror]
• Stephen Moyer on his engagement to Anna Paquin: "It was very intimate and quite surprising for her, I think, and we were by ourselves at dinner in Hawaii and...I surprised her. But it was something that surprised me probably more than it surprised her." He also says: "She is very funny and very frank and very direct and beautiful… She doesn't take any of my nonsense." [E!]
• David Arquette and Ben Harper have a clothing line called Propr, and Arquette says: ""We love the idea of chivalry and going in an old-school barber… There's a quality that's in the finer details, like they really thought it out a step further." More from "A Night Out" with the duo at the link. [NY Times]
• Ryan O'Neal visited Farrah Fawcett's grave after their son, Redmond, was ordered to leave jail and go to rehab for a year. [Daily Mail, USA Today]
• Nicole's sister Antonia Kidman is engaged to Singapore-based banker Craig Marran. [News.com.au]
• Terry Gilliam got Johnny Depp to tango for The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus even though Johnny allegedly said "Men don't dance." [Mirror]
• Oy: Sacha Baron Cohen will play an Israeli tour guide on The Simpsons. [UPI]
• From a piece on John Malkovich's new film, Disgrace, set in post-apartheid South Africa: "[Malkovich's character] Lurie appears the virtual embodiment of white male arrogance, an English professor who views himself through the prism of Romantic poetry and who pursues an exploitive, obsessive affair with a much younger, mixed-race student. You can't say that he rapes her, but the issue of consent between an inexperienced young woman and a practiced seducer — one with direct power over her academic future — is complicated, to say the least." [Salon]
• Will Diddy switch record labels? [Page Six]
• Scott Weiland had a seizure on a plane while en route from Los Angeles to Florida, causing the plane to land in Dallas-Fort Worth; he is "doing great" now. [E!]
• Larry King hates frivolous lawsuits. [TMZ]
• John Travolta may be a witness at the trial for two people accused of trying to extort $25 million from him after his son died in the Bahamas. [AP]
• John Travolta says if he is called to testify, he will do so. [ET]
• Sources say John Travolta's testimony will be dramatic and emotional. [TMZ]
• Ozzy Osbourne's new memoir describes appearing on the MTV show The Osbournes as "terrifying" and like being "strapped to a rocket and being blasted through the stratosphere at warp factor ten." [Mirror]
• Leonard Cohen is recovering after collapsing on stage during a show in Spain; he reportedly had food poisoning. [UPI]
• James Blunt is accusing internet service providers of "handling stolen goods" by allowing file sharing and illegal downloads. [Telegraph]
• Anoushka Shankar, Ravi Shankar's daughter, had been the victim of a blackmail plot; an arrest has been made. [Independent]
• District 9 is not welcome in Nigeria. [NY Post]
• "Frustrated cops probing Jordan's claim to have been raped by a celebrity said yesterday they could do no more unless she co-operates." [The Sun]
• "You're not going to be successful. You're not going to be millionaires (with the exception of MAYBE Kris and Adam). No one will care about you. Those fans who've been asking for your autograph all tour long - 98 percent of them don't give a flying poo about you once next season of Idol starts. In other words, your days of being a star are over. But that's all right - so are mine… The music business, for the most part, will treat you like an outsider… You are just a game show contestant who still needs to prove why you should be here. Move to a music city. L.A., New York or Nashville Leave home and live WAY below your means." — Chris Sligh, former American Idol contestant, to other Idol singers, on his blog. [NY Post]
• "I was never in the high, high fashion industry. I was never one of those superskinny, supertall waif girls who goes from show to show. When you do more commercial things, your weight is allowed to fluctuate a bit. Not every inch counts. It's hard for the girls. How old are they? Fifteen, 16? Some girls are naturally thin and can eat whatever they want. When I was 15, 16, there was not one ounce of fat on me, but some other girls have to work hard to stay like that. But the rules are not made by the models. To be part of this, they have to be the size the designer wants them to be. I'm not that skinny, and I never was, but I can pretty much eat whatever I want." — Heidi Klum. [Page Six Magazine]
• "My dream was always to work in a candy store. It was because of my obsession with candy; I don't have it any more, now that my teeth are all rotten. I did go to a university for a year, as shocking as that might sound to people, and there was a candy shop that I used to go to all the time, an old-fashioned one where all the candy was in these big glass jars. I used to go in there and look at all the candy and think, ‘God, it would be really cool to work in here; I could have candy whenever I wanted.' So I did want the keys to the candy store, but I had different keys." —Madonna. [Times of London]
• "At first, I didn't know whether I'd be healthy enough to film a full season of an action-packed drama series. But soon I realized there was nothing I wanted to do more. We got in touch with the network to let them know about my diagnosis and I sent this message: 'Don't count me out. I can do this.' All I could think was: 'If I'm going out, I'd rather go out on a high note, doing quality work I believe in.'" — From Patrick Swayze's memoir, on doing The Beast with a cancer diagnosis. [Daily Mail]
• "We need to be the example of respect, of tolerance, and just how to be civil, can we do that? Even though I didn't win the crown that night I know that the Lord has so much of a bigger crown in heaven for me. I never asked to be thrown into politics… but you know what, I'm proud of the stance that I took and I'm glad that God upheld me for such a time as this." — Carrie Prejean. [NY Daily News]
• "Forget about playing Tony Blair. When I told her I was definitely playing vampire Aro in Twilight, she cried. She was so overwhelmed and annoyed that I muscled in on something that was hers. She's already told me she'll be my date for the premiere." — Michael Sheen's 10-year-old daughter, Lily is excited about his career for once. [Page Six]

• Steven Soderbergh has confirmed that his next film will star Michael Douglas as Liberace and Matt Damon as his longtime lover. Soderbergh said, "We've already done some costume and wardrobe tests on Michael, and they're very, very, very good..."

• "I swear to you, Michael amazed me. He crushed it." [People]
• Matt Damon shot a scene for an upcoming film with New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg today on the steps of City Hall. When a reporter asked how they know each other Bloomberg said, "All young sex symbols know each other." [N.Y. Times]
• A source says that while Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were "on a trip to Kenya with their children, Angelina stopped in Dabaab Refugee Camp, and also flew to Ethiopia with Zahara and Shiloh for two days." It's the first time Zahara has been back since her adoption. [People]
• In a backstage VIP lounge at Fashion Week a fan poked Bruce Willis in the shoulder and he got in her face, pointed a finger at her and said, "Don't you EVER touch me, understand?" The woman looked frightened and backed off. Bruce told his posse "I need to leave." [Radar Online]
• Marci Santoro, the mother of Jon Gosselin's former babysitter/lover Stephanie Santoro, says that he threatened to kill himself in a conversation with Stephanie. "He said that everybody would be better off without him and that his children would be better off if he wasn't around anymore... He said to her, ‘I'm just going to kill myself, I'm just going to end it all.'" She adds, "She told me that besides watching the children, they also started a relationship, and of course being a mother my first question was, ‘are you sleeping with him, did you have sex?' and she said, ‘yeah.'" [Radar Online]
• Taylor Swift says Kanye West called her and made a "sincere" apology, so she accepted it. She adds, "The support that I got from other artists and from the fans and so many people sticking up for me that's what got me to the place where I could accept the apology. And I'm just very thankful that everyone could show me so much love." [Perez Hilton]
• Though Viacom and Google are suing each other, the companies are working together to keep the Kanye West/Taylor Swift incident off YouTube. [Media Memo]
• Some radio stations are boycotting Kanye West's music. [Perez Hilton]
• Beyonce's manager/dad Michael Knowles says he'd proud of the way Beyonce handled Kanyegate. "It was all Beyonce's decision. I want to be clear about that. My job is to execute and come up with some ideas, but ultimately that was Beyonce's decision," he said. "I can only say it was a proud night for me as a manager, but more importantly as a father. I've always said the thing that makes me most proud about Beyonce is not how many records she sold or how many plaques she has or how many awards; it's that she's a genuine good person. I know it's hard for people to believe that she can really be that nice of a person, but she really is." [Us]
• Diddy got into a fight with a "tough-talking hip-hop cop" after the VMAs when he told him to keep moving on the sidewalk. Dilly said, "Lower your fucking voice when you're talking to me... I'm a man just like you." And the man replied, "I don't give a fuck who you are." [TMZ]
• Bobby Brown says of his relationship with Whitney Houston, "I think we corrupted each other. I don't think she hurt me or I hurt her. I just think we had a 14-year marriage that had its ups and downs and not many people understood it." As for his drug use, he says, "I used an awful lot you know and I can't take that back," adding that coke, "It's a powerful drug." [Ok]
• Keanu Reeves is scouting locations for his next film so he toured two Buffalo-area jails. While they let Keanu in, the two jails have barred federal investigators and are the target of Justice Department lawsuite for civil rights violations. [AP]
• Keanu Reeves says of his Point Break co-star Patrick Swayze, "He was a beautiful person, an artist. Patrick, he just wanted to experience life and for his work he wanted to take the opportunity of the film and it gave him that sense." [People]
• SNL sources are still denying that Casey Wilson was fired because she didn't lose 30 pounds saying it's "not true...her contract was simply not renewed." [E!]
• In the video at the link Clive Owen discusses his next project The Boys Are Back, about a sports writer who loses his wife to cancer and has to raise his 6-year-old son on his own. [N.Y. Times]
• Clive Owen says, "I haven't done a film like this before and parenting is a big part of my life. It was a challenge to explore, and something that I thought was very well written — the ups and downs of parenting." [Reuters]
• Paris Hilton may be sued because she skipped several media events this weekend in Frankfurt, Germany due to "mysterious circumstances." Sources say she skipped a party with Frederic Prinz von Anhalt's son Marcus because Doug Reinhardt "instructed" her not to "because it was being held in an erotic table dancing club." [Perez Hilton]
• Cherry Jones says when she heard she'd been nominated for an Emmy, "I really truly just giggled a lot. My world is theater and I've been nominated a handful of times for Tonys and that's always been kind of wonderful and surprising. But it's sort of what I do for a living. The Emmys to me - even though I've been on the show for two seasons, I still feel like a bit of impostor who just snuck into town and is pretending to be a television actor." [N.Y. Times]
• Betty White will receive a Life Achievement Award at the SAG Awards on January 23. [Variety]
• The chef who was suing Simon Cowell and Terri Seymour because she left her sneakers at their home has settled her case. She got her shoes back, plus $75 in court costs and $9 in gas money. The chef says, "I got my shoes back ... yayyyyyyy!" [TMZ]
• Kim Kardashian managed to insult both of her sisters in the same sentence this morning saying of her pregnant sister Kourtney Kardashian, "She's huge. She is huuuuge I think she's in denial of buying maternity clothes, because she just borrows Khloe's clothes." Kim explained, "Khloé is going to kill me for saying that, but it's really because Khloé is so much taller." [E!]
• Dr. Arnold Klein is suing Dr. Steven Hoefflin for telling The Sun, "[Dr. Conrad] Murray definitely called Klein because Klein taught him how to administer Propofol ... Murray would have counted on Klein to be the source of Propofol and guide him on its use." Klein says the statement was made, "willful, fraudulent, malicious, oppressive and reckless" and was done "with the intent to injure and harm Dr. Klein." but The Sun says they have evidence to back Hoefflin's claim. [TMZ]
• President Obama will appear on The Late Show With David Letterman on Monday to promote his health care plan, marking the first time a sitting president has appeared on the show. [AP]
• Juliette Lewis says of being directed by Drew Barrymore in Whip It, "I was so impressed with her as a director because she knew what she wanted to see. She really had a strong visual sense of the movie. I really feel like I was making the first movie of a young filmmaker." [Reuters]
• 63-year-old former Monkee Davy Jones married 32-year old Jessica Pacheco, a Telemundo TV star, on August 30 even though she allegedly beaut him up and cracked his rib with her shoe in the past. "Davy admits Jessica's violent with him, but she's drop-dead gorgeous and has clearly captivated him," said a source. "He says, 'It's my life. I don't want to be alone.'" [National Enquirer]
• Jane Lynch says playing Sue Sylvester on Glee is "so delicious. There's something about [her]. I've played arrogant people before, but the levels and lengths she goes to, it's so entertaining and fun." [People]
• Two screenwriters are suing NBC Universal and want to prevent Jennifer Aniston's new film Love Happens from being released because they say its based on a script called The Truth they gave a VP in 2006. [TMZ]
• Quentin Tarantino says that he's happy the success of Inglorious Basterds will ease the financial difficulties of the Weinstein Company. "They were backed up against the wall, and this gives them breathing room. This gets their back off the wall," Tarantino said. "I'm actually proud that I was able to do that for them, that I could pay back their faith in me, that I could pay back their support." [Reuters]
• Christina Applegate says she misses her old boobs after having a double masectomy and breast reconstruction surgery a year ago. "It's really hard because they just aren't the same – and I had really good ones," said Applegate. "If you have boobs you don't like, you can go and choose the size you want, and then get a brand new present. But it's different [when it's not your choice]." [People]
• Christina Applegate wants everyone to know she and Martyn LeNoble aren't engaged. "Can a girl please wear a ring on her left hand and not have it be all, 'Is she engaged?'" she says. [Extra TV]
• Maggie Gyllenhaal says on the set of Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang, Emma Thompson, "gave me a couple of notes. And she's not directing me, she's acting with me! If some other actor started giving me notes I would tell them to fuck off - there is not one actor I would allow that from. But they were fantastic notes - clear and totally helpful... I just thought to myself, 'She's teaching me and I'd be an idiot not to accept it.' And Emma's what, 50? It would be silly of me not to acknowledge that she knows more than I do." [Female First]

• Whoopi Goldberg on Patrick Swayze:

"Patrick was a really good man, a funny man and one to whom I owe much that I can't ever repay. I believe in Ghost's message, so he'll always be near." [Extra]

• Jennifer Grey on Patrick Swayze: "When I think of him, I think of being in his arms when we were kids, dancing, practicing the lift in the freezing lake, having a blast doing this tiny little movie we thought no one would ever see. [He was] a real cowboy with a tender heart. It was not surprising to me that the war he waged on his cancer was so courageous and dignified." [People]
• Dirty Dancing's choreographer, Kenny Ortega on Patrick Swayze: "The planet has lost a big heart. And I, a forever friend." [People]
• Twitter tributes to Patrick Swayze here. [NY Daily News]
• Kanye West got a talking-to from Taylor Swift's mom backstage at the VMA awards; a source says she "tore into" him after he interrupted Taylor's speech. Additionally, it was Beyoncé's dad, Matthew Knowles, who arranged the moment in which Beyoncé gave Taylor another moment in the spotlight. [People]
• Here a source claims that the Beyoncé/Taylor Swift moment "was all Beyonce's idea. Kanye embarrassed her by bringing her name into it. She wanted to make it right." [MSNBC Scoop]
• 50 Cent on Kanye West's outburst: "We know Beyoncé's great. Nobody's confused in that area…" Fiddy also says: "I wish he would come take one of my awards so I could black his eye in front of everybody." [ONTD via Much Music]
• Did President Obama call Kanye West a jackass? All signs point to yes, but "off the record." [Politico]
• Anna Wintour went to the US Open and left with a tennis ball in her purse! [Page Six]
• Diddy caused a ruckus at post by standing in the street after a VMA party. [Gatecrasher]
• In this video, Michael Jackson admits that he was on pain medication and spent A LOT of time under the influence of prescription drugs in 2003. [The Sun]
• Russell Brand and Katy Perry made out. Pass it on. [Page Six]
• Kim Cattrall spills about Sex And The City Deux: "Expect lots of fun," she says. And: "It was so much fun to relive the wild and crazy fashions of the '80s. I absolutely loved the four different looks of all of us. We were all so uniquely different that we all couldn't stop admiring our different looks. There was lots of laughing, and it was a blast! Working with the three women is so easy. I mean seven years of doing the series and the first movie and now two years later being back feels like being home. It's so much fun. There is a saying that you can't go home again but on Sex and the City, you can." [People]
• This report says that Sex And The City 2 will see Carrie pregnant; a commenter snipes: "Isn't she like 123 years old by now? And Big should be reaching 156. Why would they have a baby? I hope this isn't the case." [Gatecrasher]
• LOL: Jon Gosselin was overheard saying "please write something nice about me" at an In Touch party. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Mr. Big, aka Chris Noth, is engaged, and it's not to Carrie: Noth has proposed to partner Tara Lynn Wilson, with whom he has a 19-month-old son. [Ok!]
• If you missed Lady Gaga and date Kermit the Frog on the red carpet at the MTV Awards, there's video here. [MTV]
• Kelly Osbourne's dropped about 14 lbs. in just three weeks, thanks to insane training for Dancing With The Stars. She says: "It's so amazing, I've tried so many stupid fad diets to try to lose weight, when all I needed to do was start dancing." And: "‘I'm actually really small, I just photograph fat." [Daily Mail]
• Colin Farrell says he's psyched to have a new kid on the way: "I'm very excited man! Very! There is nothing more exciting really." [People]
• Ricky Gervais has a crush on Rob Lowe. [Mirror]
• Brittany "Bre" Scullark from America's Next Top Model was arrested in New York on Monday for picking up some woman's laptop at a Starbucks — thinking it belonged to a family member — and then cursing out the woman. [TMZ]
• "Jessica Simpson sees dog snatched by coyote and appeals for its return on Twitter (does she think the offending beast can read?)" [Daily Mail]
• Sean Penn and hot model Jessica White: Still on. [Page Six]
• The Seinfeld reunion is really an "anti-reunion." [Reuters]
• Kim Kardashian will appear on the new Fox sitcom Brothers, opposite Michael Strahan and Daryl "Chill" Mitchell. "Even though I'm playing myself, you kind of have to play it up a little bit," Kim says. "I always get a little bit nervous because I am new to acting and I respect it so much, so I just want to do it justice." But, um, you're playing yourself. [People]
• The scene: A VMA party. Champagne! Celebrities! Stephanie Pratt's credit card: declined. [Page Six]
• A New York theater doing The Piven Monologues, comic look at the star's case of mercury poisoning, has received a cease and desist letter from Jeremy Piven. [Page Six]
• Jane Fonda has penned a HuffPo essay about her letter protesting the Toronto International Film Festival's decision to showcase and celebrate Tel Aviv. She writes: "As I said in my recent blog, the greatest "re-branding" of Israel would be to celebrate that country's long standing, courageous and robust peace movement by helping to end the blockade of Gaza through negotiations with all parties to the conflict, and by stopping the expansion of West Bank settlements. That's the way to show Israel's commitment to peace, not a PR campaign." [Huffington Post]
• "It's the last leg of Eddie Izzard's 43 marathons in 51 days. How did the less than athletic comic pull off such a feat of endurance?" [BBC News]
• Home Depot will start selling Martha Stewart stuff in 2010, when her deal with K-Mart ends. [Reuters]
• The late Bea Arthur was remembered at Broadway's Majestic Theatre on Monday. [NY Post, People]
• At the Bea Arthur memorial, Rue McClanahan told a touching story in which Bea said: "Rue, I love. Betty White's a cunt." [Page Six]
• "A famous celebrity raped me and Peter knows who it was. It was years ago before I was with Pete, and my friends and family knew about it at the time." — Katie "Jordan" Price. [Daily Mail]
• "I think music piracy is having a dangerous effect on British music, but some really rich and successful artists like Nick Mason from Pink Floyd and Ed O'Brien from Radiohead don't seem to think so. These guys from huge bands said file sharing music is fine. It probably is fine for them. They do sell out arena tours and have the biggest Ferrari collections in the world. For new talent though, file sharing is a disaster as it's making it harder and harder for new acts to emerge. I don't think what's out there is perfect. It's stupid that kids can't buy anything on the internet without credit, forcing them to steal Mum's credit card or download illegally." — Lily Allen. [Telegraph]
• "No one was injured. In fact, the only one who seemed irritated by the whole affair was a tiny Jewish woman who kept saying, 'I don't care who is in the limo. I have somewhere to be!'" — Joan Rivers, whose limo sideswiped a bus yesterday. [Page Six]
• "I hate when celebrities make a big deal of themselves. When I talk to Diddy, I'm just like ‘Hey Sean, no big deal.'" — Jon Gosselin. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "He slapped me once but he got hit on the head three times by me… [I] was horrified he spit on me, in my face." — Whitney Houston, on Bobby Brown. [NY Daily News]

[New York, September 2. Image via INF]