Where Is Nick Jonas' Dick?

I encourage anyone with knowledge of where Nick Jonas could have put his penis to please, send us your thoughts during this difficult time.

I encourage anyone with knowledge of where Nick Jonas could have put his penis to please, send us your thoughts during this difficult time.
Neil Patrick Harris, host of the 2015 Oscars, explained the, er, shapeliness of his peen during last night's show on Live with Kelly and Michael Monday morning and it's all about doubling up. Unfortunately, it was one of the most interesting parts of the 17,000 hour show, which tells you something.
Dicks: they're just like salamanders. Am I right, dicks? Nah, I'm wrong, as usual. Though scientific progress in the contemporary world is such that 100 heroes are currently making plans to voyage to Mars for the purpose of dying, the human penis cannot just willy-nilly regenerate its majestic sheath—as of yet.
People aren't vaccinating their children and another Bush is running for President, so let's gather 'round for yet another story that truly has no winners. A 17-year-old girl in South Africa poured battery acid on her boyfriend's penis after she discovered that he had filmed them having sex. Ah, young love.
Manspreading—which is somehow both annoying and hilarious—was handled on Wednesday's Daily Show thanks to Senior Women's Correspondent Kristen Schaal. She just wants dudes to continue their reign across the world and the seats … while showing us a bit of soft ball hair in the process. Come on, sugar balls!
"I thought it was the most simple, primal gesture—and you know I love a simply tiny, little gesture that packs the wallop," designer Rick Owens said regarding the three peek-a-boo dicks that flapped down the runway yesterday during his fall 2015 menswear show.
The year of 2014 began with a bang: a man on Reddit who had posted photos of his two penises sat in on the site for an AMA session on January 1st. Answering the question, "Do you have a favorite?" the man with two dicks replied, "Yes. The right one. The left one has a grudge against me for it too. lol" With that…
Parents are hopping mad about a Play-Doh accessory that sounds and kind of looks like a very uncomfortable plastic dildo. What, the parents wonder, are they supposed to tell their kids when they ask why the toy is shaped like a big hard dick with an honest-to-goodness coronal ridge? Won't somebody thing of the…
In case you have not noticed, The Catholic Establishment freaks out whenever religious iconography is "desecrated," aka someone else besides them is making money off it. In the latest case, noted homophobes the Catholic League are freaking out because Tom Ford put a dick in the shape of a cross at the end of a…