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New York, 2:21 AM
Thu Nov 12
67 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #dickmorris more →

    Today's News Is Brought To You By Andy Samberg's Soiled Pants

    Bigger Than Burning Man.

    Remember When $200 And A UFO Sighting Could Buy You A Toe-Sucking?
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of LaMorena LaMorena
    12/08/08

    In reply to Today's News Is Brought To You By Andy Samberg's Soiled Pants
    Jezebel has been especially spunk-y this past week.


    With all this talk of spilled seed, I just want to remind everyone what my Irish-Catholic ancestors believe (and to which I probably owe my existence).


    Every sperm is sacred!



    + Watch video





    That reminds me--I need to pick up my birth control after work...
     Reply
    LaMorena was starred LaMorena was unstarred
    Image of tscheese tscheese
    12/08/08

    In reply to Today's News Is Brought To You By Andy Samberg's Soiled Pants
    "OY. Whatever the opposite of jizzing in my pants is, I just did it."


    Jason, I'm completely stealing this. I'm going to find an appropriate and/or inappropriate situation in which to trot this one out because it's a gem.


    Difficulty: The Grand Republic of Tscheese does not list jizz as an export, nor pants as an import.

     Reply
    tscheese was starred tscheese was unstarred
    Image of Jamie Sommers Jamie Sommers
    12/08/08

    @tscheese: And then he topped himself with this gem:


    Basically, my left ball is now off on a merry adventure in my bowels.

     Reply
    Jamie Sommers was starred Jamie Sommers was unstarred
    Image of Saltine Saltine
    12/08/08

    @Jamie Sommers: But then Megan brought up lemmiwinks and got a permanent win. Because any time you bring up a gerbil stuck up mr. slave's ass you win, no matter what the competition.
     Reply
    Saltine was starred Saltine was unstarred
    Image of SisterMaryMartha SisterMaryMartha
    12/08/08

    In reply to Today's News Is Brought To You By Andy Samberg's Soiled Pants
    Dudes, truly- Ed Rendell is totally working class. He is like Willie Stark from All The King's Men. He is greasy, grimey, likes to spend big and prior to his gubner days could be seen walking down Walnut St, in gangster style pinstripe suits. The people still love him.


    Oh and lucyjae, Philadelphia is more or less PA as far as many of us are concerned. Even the educated ones.
    Sorry.

     Reply
    SisterMaryMartha was starred SisterMaryMartha was unstarred
    Image of NefariousNewt NefariousNewt
    12/08/08

    @SisterMaryMartha: And it's PA, because the alternative in NJ, and nobody in their right mind in Philly wants that!
     Reply
    NefariousNewt was starred NefariousNewt was unstarred
    Image of tell Dolly Parton again tell Dolly Parton again
    12/08/08

    In reply to Today's News Is Brought To You By Andy Samberg's Soiled Pants
    I don't know why Justin Timberlake keeps showing up on SNL for no reason, but KEEP IT UP! His presence makes everything better somehow.
     Reply
    tell Dolly Parton again was starred tell Dolly Parton again was unstarred
    Image of morninggloria morninggloria
    12/08/08

    @tell Dolly Parton again: I was thinking on my way to work this morning that if he was a full time cast member, I'd watch every week, no matter how drunk I was.
     Reply
    morninggloria was starred morninggloria was unstarred
    Image of lucyjae lucyjae
    12/08/08

    In reply to Today's News Is Brought To You By Andy Samberg's Soiled Pants
    My mom works for a PA state commission that gets lots 'o visits from the governor. She is so not a fan. I'd go so far as to say she hates is guts. But, if I correctly recall voting in that election, the Republican option was even less good. So, Slick Eddie it was. Most people think he considers himself the Governor of Philadelphia. Because, lots of kids from Philly will answer that their state is Philadelphia. AWESOME!
     Reply
    lucyjae was starred lucyjae was unstarred
    Image of Shamrockette Shamrockette
    12/08/08

    @lucyjae: The darn Republican was a former Pittsburgh Steelers player.


    I was floored that a football player could have a political career (no offense).

     Reply
    Shamrockette was starred Shamrockette was unstarred
    Image of NefariousNewt NefariousNewt
    12/08/08

    @Shamrockette is no longer a teenager!: Don't let Steve Largent hear you say that!
     Reply
    NefariousNewt was starred NefariousNewt was unstarred
    Image of Jamie Sommers Jamie Sommers
    12/08/08

    @NefariousNewt: Or Jack Kemp.
     Reply
    Jamie Sommers was starred Jamie Sommers was unstarred
    Image of NefariousNewt NefariousNewt
    12/08/08

    @Jamie Sommers: Shoot! How could I forget Jack Kemp?!?!
     Reply
    NefariousNewt was starred NefariousNewt was unstarred
    Image of PilgrimSoul PilgrimSoul
    12/08/08

    In reply to Today's News Is Brought To You By Andy Samberg's Soiled Pants
    Excellent! Hey dchan, the Supreme Court just turned down hearing that frickin' case on Obama's citizenship!
     Reply
    PilgrimSoul was starred PilgrimSoul was unstarred
    Image of Ratinski Ratinski
    12/08/08

    @PilgrimSoul: Well, THEY'RE obviously drinking the Kool-Aid too, duh.
     Reply
    Ratinski was starred Ratinski was unstarred
    Image of sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit) sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit)
    12/08/08

    @PilgrimSoul: Boom! dchan Clarence Thomas got served.
     Reply
    sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit) was starred sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit) was unstarred
    Image of NefariousNewt NefariousNewt
    12/08/08

    @PilgrimSoul: Shucks! But you know, that's all part of the conspiracy -- the SCOTUS is in on it. Kool Aid ™ anyone?
     Reply
    NefariousNewt was starred NefariousNewt was unstarred
    Image of PilgrimSoul PilgrimSoul
    12/08/08

    @Ratinski: @sarah.of.a.lesser.god (subservient to the ovumlord): @NefariousNewt: Do any of you have the grape flavour? I'll trade ya for cherry.
     Reply
    PilgrimSoul was starred PilgrimSoul was unstarred
    Image of vamusical vamusical
    12/08/08

    @PilgrimSoul: I guess the supreme court just didn't do their homework and check out google the way they were supposed to!
     Reply
    vamusical was starred vamusical was unstarred
    Image of NefariousNewt NefariousNewt
    12/08/08

    @PilgrimSoul: Mmmmmmm... Cherry is my favorite flavor of Kool Aid™
     Reply
    NefariousNewt was starred NefariousNewt was unstarred
    Image of NefariousNewt NefariousNewt
    12/08/08

    In reply to Today's News Is Brought To You By Andy Samberg's Soiled Pants
    And as an aside, did everyone see this bit about Jon Favreau's Facebook travails today?
     Reply
    NefariousNewt was starred NefariousNewt was unstarred
    Image of Megan Megan
    12/08/08

    @NefariousNewt: Someone apparently missed Friday's News Roundup and the real story behind that picture, which is at the bottom.
     Reply
    Megan was starred Megan was unstarred
    Image of NefariousNewt NefariousNewt
    12/08/08

    @Megan: I admit it -- I missed it. But now that I've seen it -- huzzah!
     Reply
    NefariousNewt was starred NefariousNewt was unstarred
    Image of Megan Megan
    12/08/08

    @NefariousNewt: You're supposed to comment on how great my tits look in that picture. [crickets]
     Reply
    Megan was starred Megan was unstarred
    Image of NefariousNewt NefariousNewt
    12/08/08

    @Megan: So sorry Megan, but modesty prevented me from immediately commenting on the bounteousness of your bosom... that and having to wipe the drool off my keyboard.
     Reply
    NefariousNewt was starred NefariousNewt was unstarred
    Image of Megan Megan
    12/08/08

    @NefariousNewt: Apology accepted.
     Reply
    Megan was starred Megan was unstarred
    Image of PilgrimSoul PilgrimSoul
    12/08/08

    @Megan: whatever. you know they're magnificent.
     Reply
    PilgrimSoul was starred PilgrimSoul was unstarred
    Image of BearDownCBears BearDownCBears
    12/08/08

    @NefariousNewt: That's why I always stuff my mouth full of paper napkins before I visit this site.


    I think Ms. Carpentier's breasts should replace the subject of every "controversial" photo:


    Megan's breasts were the real fourth Iranian missile.
    Megan's breasts slammed into the Pentagon.
    Megan's breasts hit Jack Kennedy in the face, causing him to go back...and to the left....
    Dennis Kucinich's UFO was actually Megan wearing a tight white sweater.

     Reply
    BearDownCBears was starred BearDownCBears was unstarred
    Image of Jamie Sommers Jamie Sommers
    12/08/08

    @BearDownCBears: That third one made me laugh so hard I nearly coughed up my breakfast.
     Reply
    Jamie Sommers was starred Jamie Sommers was unstarred
    Image of NefariousNewt NefariousNewt
    12/08/08

    @Jamie Sommers: And made me think the Zapruder Film would be worth another look.
     Reply
    NefariousNewt was starred NefariousNewt was unstarred
    Image of morninggloria morninggloria
    12/08/08

    In reply to Today's News Is Brought To You By Andy Samberg's Soiled Pants
    Ed Rendell thought about the fact that Janet Napolitano is single and doesn't have a family and maybe he'll go out with her and he JIZZED. IN. HIS PANTS.
     Reply
    morninggloria was starred morninggloria was unstarred
    Image of Shamrockette Shamrockette
    12/08/08

    In reply to Today's News Is Brought To You By Andy Samberg's Soiled Pants
    I can't believe Jason called Pennsylvanians 'inane'.


    I slightly take offense to that =\

     Reply
    Shamrockette was starred Shamrockette was unstarred
    Image of BlowJoy BlowJoy
    12/08/08

    @Shamrockette is no longer a teenager!: I think he meant InSANE. As in INSANELY AWESOMEEEEE!!!
     Reply
    BlowJoy was starred BlowJoy was unstarred
    Image of sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit) sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit)
    12/08/08

    In reply to Today's News Is Brought To You By Andy Samberg's Soiled Pants
    I dreamed last night about Barbra Streisand, Chuck Berry, and Muddy Waters doing crazy things while nekkid, and while it disturbed me it is still infinitely more tolerable than thinking about Bush kissing anything or Rendell titty-fucking.
     Reply
    sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit) was starred sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit) was unstarred
    Image of million.dollar.mouth. million.dollar.mouth.
    12/08/08

    @sarah.of.a.lesser.god (subservient to the ovumlord): Which is also more disturbing than thinkng of my father's puckerd asshole (thanks Megan :)
     Reply
    million.dollar.mouth. was starred million.dollar.mouth. was unstarred
    Image of pantsless economist...access RESTORED pantsless economist...access RESTORED
    12/08/08

    In reply to Today's News Is Brought To You By Andy Samberg's Soiled Pants
    "Though Chertoff mostly spews graveyard dust out of his dessicated ghoul-cock."


    LOLOLOLOL

     Reply
    pantsless economist...access RESTORED was starred pantsless economist...access RESTORED was unstarred
    Image of Kivrin Kivrin
    12/08/08

    @pantsless economist: "Desiccated ghoul-cock" may be my new favorite insult.
     Reply
    Kivrin was starred Kivrin was unstarred
    Image of NefariousNewt NefariousNewt
    12/08/08

    In reply to Today's News Is Brought To You By Andy Samberg's Soiled Pants
    George Bush kissing Barbra Streisand -- further proof the End of Days is nigh.
     Reply
    NefariousNewt was starred NefariousNewt was unstarred
    Image of NefariousNewt NefariousNewt
    12/08/08

    In reply to Today's News Is Brought To You By Andy Samberg's Soiled Pants
    MEGAN: Charlie Rangel is beyond embarrassing. You have the chairman of the committee in charge of taxation - including a push to close the tax gap, i.e., reduce cheating - cheating on his fucking taxes.


    Honestly, I'm not sure how he stays in his seat, excpet that I don't think there's ever been a serious challenge to him, has there?

     Reply
    NefariousNewt was starred NefariousNewt was unstarred
    Image of PilgrimSoul PilgrimSoul
    12/08/08

    In reply to Today's News Is Brought To You By Andy Samberg's Soiled Pants
    Oh lord, this Crappy Hour is not for the faint of heart.
     Reply
    PilgrimSoul was starred PilgrimSoul was unstarred
    Image of NefariousNewt NefariousNewt
    12/08/08

    In reply to Today's News Is Brought To You By Andy Samberg's Soiled Pants
    The Hill's Fifty Most Beautiful People? Please god, let there not be a calendar.
     Reply
    NefariousNewt was starred NefariousNewt was unstarred
    Image of sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit) sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit)
    12/08/08

    @NefariousNewt: Even worse: it's a swimsuit calendar. A Borat mankini swimsuit calendar.
     Reply
    sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit) was starred sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit) was unstarred
    Image of NefariousNewt NefariousNewt
    12/08/08

    @sarah.of.a.lesser.god (subservient to the ovumlord): Ew. Ew. EWWWWWWW!!!


    I must go wash my brain.

     Reply
    NefariousNewt was starred NefariousNewt was unstarred
    Image of morninggloria morninggloria
    12/08/08

    @NefariousNewt: The people that I know that work on The Hill do NOT need someone telling them that they are beautiful; most of them already think that the sun shines out of their (glorious, beautiful, intelligent, clever!) assholes.
     Reply
    morninggloria was starred morninggloria was unstarred
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