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Reality Check
Keep Your Baby “Socially Acceptable”
Teen Parent Does A Crap Job
Magazine Photoshop Chops: Even Jennifer Lopez Is A Victim!
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kimbert
09/10/09

In reply to Reality Check
Babies ARE gross. They are only cute fresh from a bath and asleep.
They should make an ad that shows a mom fishing a turd out of the bathwater with one hand and trying to support a fish-slippery baby with the other.

Oh, and make the "mom" model not shower three days before the shoot.
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brinkswomanship
09/10/09

In reply to Reality Check
If I just saw this panel of the ad at a bus stop, I would think it was about diapers, laxatives or Axe cologne. Possibly all three.
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MissFiFi
09/10/09

In reply to Reality Check
how about they show a screaming, vomiting child with a fever? that's a nice reality check
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BiteMeMitchell!
09/10/09

In reply to Reality Check
I don't know why they don't just round them up in a classroom and show them a video of a woman actually giving birth. They did this at my school, and it worked an absolute treat. Not a single girl in my year had a kid before her mid-20s, in spite of the fact that we lived in an area which at that time had one of the highest rates of teenage pregnancy in Western Europe. (As an aside, that video is also one of the many reasons that I'm now childfree-by-choice and will be for the rest of my life.)
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inabook
09/10/09

@BiteMeMitchell!: We saw one of those videos. We also had two girls pregnant at graduation, and plenty of others to get knocked up in the next few years.

if people don't know how to use birth control, and are morally opposed to abortions, even knowing giving birth can be unpleasant won't help.
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BiteMeMitchell!
09/10/09

@inabook: Oh definitely, sure, but I can't help but hope that it might make most people a bit more careful about contraception!
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WaltzingMatilda
09/10/09

@BiteMeMitchell!: There was an America's Funniest Home Videos entry (I think) filming girls watching a birth video. Had to be the funniest thing I have ever seen. I would venture to guess that none of those girls has quite recovered.
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purpleshoes reminds everyone to take typing breaks and stretch, ow
09/10/09

@WaltzingMatilda: ... I don't necessarily understand how it's a good thing to terrorize people with normal biological functions, even intense and dangerous ones?
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WaltzingMatilda
09/10/09

@purpleshoes reminds everyone to take typing breaks and stretch, ow: No. It's reality. The birth process is the end result of pregnancy. I noticed that you posted earlier about teens not necessarily thinking that babies poop. You are right - I think you probably grew up in a family/home full of youngsters. (I, myself, helped raise my little sister) Some women have NO idea what is coming to them at the end of the rainbow.

Terrorism, it is not. Education, it is. The side effect - their reactions were funny. I would never think that the Miracle of Life = terrorism.
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geeky_reader
09/10/09

In reply to Reality Check
To really scare off any potential teen mamas, they should show real post-baby photos of stomachs. It's still something many people aren't aware of until they've had kids themselves.
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greengrey
09/10/09

@geeky_reader: They have websites that do that (though I don't think they're there to serve as a cautionary tale).
But an appeal to vanity might help.
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Sorcha
09/10/09

@geeky_reader: They should show what pregnancy does to breast too. They don't always just grow bigger. Sometimes they sag. A lot.

I was watching 16 and Pregnant the other day and this teenage girl was talking to her doctor telling her that she didn't want to breastfeed because she thought it would make her breast sag. The doctor told her that breastfeeding doesn't do that, pregnancy does. But of course she's 16 and pregnant, so the fact she didn't truly realize the effect of what a pregnancy (not the breastfeeding and all the other stuff that comes after) has on a body doesn't surprise me much.
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Maritsa
09/10/09

@Sorcha: You'd be surprised how many grown-ass women don't know that. It was shocking to me to find out so many moms on the pregnancy board I frequented were unaware of this - and how many claimed it was their reason for not wanting to BF. Ship's already sailed!
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Sorcha
09/10/09

@Maritsa: That makes me sad.
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geeky_reader
09/10/09

@Sorcha: Very good point. As I like to say, pop one out the chute, and your girls are gonna droop.

I often mourn the loss of my perkies but my kids were so worth it.
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Ruby_de_la_Booby
09/10/09

In reply to Reality Check
I don't often quote Tori Spelling, but she calls her daughter's blowouts "poop up the puss." Seeing that should freak out a 15 year old. I'm 35, and it works on me.
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fluxus flucker
09/10/09

@Ruby_de_la_Booby: I will never forget the horror of changing a baby girl's poopy diaper for the first, and only, time.
People always think boys are more difficult to clean than girl. That is soooo untrue.
If I Never have to change a baby girl's poopy diaper again, it will be far too soon.

"Poop up the puss" - can you really say that on TV?! Poor kid!
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Maritsa
09/10/09

@fluxus flucker: Boys are SO easy to clean! A little more difficult if they're uncircumcised (my son is), but still, I'd take that over cleaning my niece's poopy diapers any day.
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fluxus flucker
09/10/09

In reply to Reality Check
The idea of a public scratch and sniff poster is beyond disgusting.

If they really want to gross out teens with info about the hardships of parenthood, they need to print pics of moms & dads with vomit in their hair.
Its shocking how much puke can come out of a baby and how often the puke lands on mom or dad's head. Ugh!
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greengrey
09/10/09

In reply to Reality Check
I kind of like this ad. I think showing the "gross realities" might make younger girls/women really reconsider. Babies aren't like they are on tv. They puke, they smell, they scream. Babies eventually grow up, into toddlers, kids, and eventually teenagers.
Kind of like the anti-smoking campaigns. It's not fun and glamorous! heh.
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Snowbunny
09/10/09

In reply to Reality Check
Today I will go and find this. I will then take a picture posed in a campy "eww!" stance. This picture I will put on Facebook.
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Lymed
09/10/09

In reply to Reality Check
But my baby will be perfect, and clean and will never poop.
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feather_spin
09/10/09

@Lymed: My baby will poop sparkles and will be born with a college degree!
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hortense
09/10/09

In reply to Reality Check
I love that you can see the scratches on the poster. I wonder if people were disappointed when they realized it didn't smell like anything?
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spamanda
09/10/09

In reply to Reality Check
What about when your infant son poops so much that it comes out the diaper and FILLS the legs of his footie pajamas? So when you pick him up, you can FEEL the poo oozing and squishing around. They need to show a picture of THAT.
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feather_spin
09/10/09

@spamanda: But it has to happen at 3:27am.
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stacyinbean
09/10/09

@spamanda: Ha, or when they learn how to take their diaper off and smear it all over the wall. That was the only time I saw my mother actually cry in despair over a child's behavior!
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EdnasEdibles
09/10/09

@spamanda: Yes, I would gladly have posed for an add with my son smearing his poop on the side of the bathtub after pooping on the bathmat seconds before his bath while I stood at the sink crying and scrubbing poop from earlier out of his shorts. Put that in an ad for the kids!
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fluxus flucker
09/10/09

@stacyinbean: Picture this: My sis and her kid both sick with a stomach virus.
My sis is barely able to move, but somehow, even with fever, the kid is energetically playing.
Sis looks up and her kid has vomited all over the floor and used the vomit to finger-paint the walls, furniture, and curtains.
So sis has to clean it up but because she's already woozy, she starts throwing up on the floor too.
And her vomit covered kid starts to play with that vomit, as well. Laughing the entire time.

Or the time, my kid and I both had stomach viruses and I let him sleep in bed with me. I awoke at 3am to feel hot vomit raining down on my face.

Run commercials of these stories on MTV and I suspect there may be a drop in teen pregnancy rates.
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spamanda
09/10/09

@feather_spin: It can also happen when you're leaving for work. Or trying to get said child ready for daycare. Preferrably when the grown up is in "nice" clothes. Obviously.
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Maritsa
09/10/09

In reply to Reality Check
If they really want to scare them they should show them a blow-out. A little poop in a circle is no big deal! When it goes up the back, up the stomach, on the clothes...THAT'S scary.
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TexasCrude
09/10/09

@Maritsa: I don't have children but I've nannied some small ones and I know of this chernobyl bowel. The first time I saw one, I burst into tears and not from the sight of the poo but the fumes.

Well done for turning me off kids, baby.
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fluxus flucker
09/10/09

@Maritsa: Oh, god! When the poop goes all the way up to their shoulders!
And then you've got to spend 1/2 an hour to wipe down the baby, do laundry, and give the baby (and possibly yourself) a bath because there is just SO. MUCH. POOP!!!
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Niki S
09/10/09

@Maritsa: Oh yes, or when you remove the baby's diaper to find that, underneath, there's another 'diaper' made entirely of poop. Usually that's the point they do the projectile vomit thing too.

Man, I'm glad my kids aren't babies any more.
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EdnasEdibles
09/10/09

@Maritsa: Yes! I have had many of these. Once when he ate grapes he pooped them out whole and then grabbed one of his poop grapes and attempted to eat it and I had to say "You drop that! It was in your butt!" and then I had to wrestle a poop grape out of his tiny little hand.
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spamanda
09/10/09

@Maritsa: My husband has thrown away onesies because of this. He said it was easier to cut it off than try to clean it. He was probably right.
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spamanda
09/10/09

@EdnasEdibles: i just spilled my coffee I was giggling so hard.
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EdnasEdibles
09/10/09

@spamanda: It is funny after the fact. There was also a part of me that considered letting him eat the poop grape so he could learn that lesson the hard way.
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debo matar la zombi goldberry83
09/10/09

@EdnasEdibles: Oh god - laughing so hard! Can't breathe! There are actually tears rolling down my face from laughing. I am friending you for pure hilarity.
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Maritsa
09/10/09

@spamanda: I threw away a sleeper last week because of it. I figured, it was like $4, he's almost out of it, and I am not scraping shit off it.
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battleaxonista...is a humorless bitch
02/05/09

In reply to Keep Your Baby “Socially Acceptable”
Hey, as far as I'm concerned a baby's diaper should be more secure than a nuclear facility. Because baby shits are a fucking WMD.
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Fermina Daza
02/05/09

@battleaxonista: Seriously. And why do visiting friends with babies ALWAYS change shitty diapers on my bed?! Unacceptable!
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battleaxonista...is a humorless bitch
02/05/09

@Fermina Daza: EWWWWWWW! That is a straight up 'get the F out of my house' offense. That is horrendously unsanitary.
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boxspelunker
02/05/09

@Fermina Daza: What?! That is so rude! One should always ask where an appropriate place is first, and why would anyone want a baby that is not theirs to have a naked, poopy butt on their bed? AGH!
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ceejeemcbeegee is not here
02/06/09

@Fermina Daza: Erm... I'm an auntie guilty of this.. but I always asked for a towel or had a changing pad...
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Emmersct
02/05/09

In reply to Keep Your Baby “Socially Acceptable”
Isn't that the message behind most ads today, it's just that the advertisers have gotten more oblique? Make your home socially acceptable with Glade plug-ins! Make your armpits socially acceptable with Secret!
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boxspelunker
02/05/09

@Emmersct: I think we should be a little more blunt about it, like this ad.

YOUR BABY IS A FAILURE. STOP THAT NOW.
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