[Los Angeles, July 24. Image via INF]

Why is it that Lisa Kudrow, of all the Friends, seems to possess the least taint? Is it living in France half the time? Is it elegant dresses like this? Is it the strange shoes? Is it some combination of Romy and Michelle and The Opposite of Sex?


Christina Ricci takes on two bold elements: pastel satin and a high neckline. While I envy her neither back rides nor the inevitable adjustments every time a photographer turns away.


Ditto Erika Alexander. Indeed, perhaps there should be an unofficial ban on satin dresses on the grounds of "reminiscent of What Not to Wear reveal outfit."


Benjamin Bratt and Talisa Soto are, obviously, a gorgeous couple. Too bad I can't tear my eyes away from his weirdly well-pressed dad jeans.


Michelle Krusiec's little frock is unexceptionable but these square-boxed sandals always give me bad junior-prom flashbacks. Which makes me wonder why even a 16-year-old who was me thought a vintage nightgown without a bra looked remotely like eveningwear.


Behold Brolin and Lane in celeb disguise, the kind that makes one immediately think "that's a celebrity" before you recognize them. In fact, as a public service, someone should really send a memo to Variety explaining that real people don't wear sunglasses and baseball caps, particularly indoors.


Lorielle New's getup compelled me to visit her website, which features smooth music, describes her as "a hardworking Hollywood actress" and features live chat with her every day at 5.


This is, we believe, Chaz Bono's first public appearance since announcing his transition; girlfriend Jennifer was in attendance, too.


[Images via Getty]

• Guess who is going to have to face her abuser and testify? Rihanna:

Prosecutors have subpoenaed the singer to appear in court in Chris Brown's assault case on June 22, and she is now legally required to answer questions about what happened. [People]

• Kanye West and Amber Rose may have broken up, but they are certainly still spending a lot of time together. Reunited and it feels so good? [Page Six]
• OMG: Judge Judy has beat Oprah as the highest rated show in daytime! It must have been the Comic Confrontations that pushed JJ over the edge. [Perez]
• After six months of bliss, Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt have split. [ET]
• This report claims that Paris dumped Doug, who later showed up at her house "distraught." [Perez]
• Paris Hilton's rep says they remain friends and please respect their privacy blah blah blah. We'll always have Cannes! [People]
• Britney Spears is gonna get $11,500 from ex-boyfriend Adnan Ghalib — to cover legal fees incurred by getting a restraining order against the photographer. [Radar Online]
• Meanwhile, Britney and K-Fed have reached a new custody agreement and Brit gets the kids more than 50% of the time while she is on tour. Progress! [TMZ]
• Click here for super-cute banter between Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock. Like this exchange on how fame changes you:
  Reynolds: Fame only amplifies a certain disposition.
  Bullock: I agree. Unless you're a child in the industry and that's all you know. That's a sad, sad thing.
  Reynolds: There's nothing worse than hearing a 6-year-old demand Voss water. I've seen it. [People]
• This was in Midweek Madness, but here it is again: Madonna will meet Jesus' family. And no, they are not named Mary and Joseph. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Speaking of all things holy, Madonna will hold two shows in Israel — September 1 and 2. [UPI]
• Katie Holmes has been attending dance studios in Hollywood lately. Why? She wants to make a special appearance on So You Think You Can Dance? [Perez]
• Hugh Hefner: "really happy" to learn that Kendra is pregnant. [People]
• Carrie Prejean claims that the Miss California USA people wanted her to do Playboy, but she wouldn't. They also wanted her to be on I'm A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here. Sigh. [TMZ]
• Contrary to the reports in all the weekly tabs, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz deny that their marriage is on the rocks. [Mirror]
• "Secrets" about the cast of Twilight include the fact that Kristen Stewart can play guitar, Robert Pattinson and Kristen have chemistry on screen and off, and Rob and Kristen both play guitar and sing. [People]
• Whoa, Joy Behar is getting her own show on HLN (formerly Headline News). It will aire at 9 p.m. and start in September, as a "topical and fun" talk show: "It's not going to be dry, I hope, because I'm crazy," Joy says. [NY Times]
• BMW: The exclusive sponsor of the season three premiere of Mad Men, which will be aired with limited commercial interruption. Exciting! Not that we can afford Beemers! But we can look at a picture of a cute one, and think about Don Draper. [Brandweek]
• Lost rumors: Someone who could be lying says Charlie (Dominic Monaghan) returns for 4 episodes, Clarie (Emily De Ravin [sic]) for full-season, Shannon (Maggie Grace) for 6 episodes. [Yahoo News Via E!]
• Matthew Fox on the Lost ending: "I think it is going to be very satisfying and cathartic and redemptive and beautiful. I've talked to [creator] Damon [Lindelof] pretty extensively and every time I talk to him it's sort of surprising how moving it is just to talk about it." [E!]
• Patricia Clarkson's flight from LAX to JFK got canceled and she promptly burst into tears. [Page Six]
• Oof: Hugh Grant kicked a paparazzo in the groin outside of restaurant in NYC Tuesday. [Gatecrasher via TMZ]
• Jamie Foxx says that the first time he did his stand up act at the Apollo, as soon as the audience heard he was from L.A., they started booing. Foxx considers this his favorite memory of the theater, though, so, good for him. [AP]
• Oh lord. Jeremy Piven's mercury poisoning saga lives on: Producers from Speed-The-Plow will be in arbitration this week. [Gothamist]
• Alex Rodriguez and Kate Hudson met through a real estate agent. Now? A-Rod is smitten: "He is so into her and doesn't even mind when his friends tease him about her." [Gatecrasher]
• Sophie Dahl is 5'11" and her fiancé Jamie Cullum is 5'4" and she says: "We happen to be two people who met, fell madly in love and will probably produce fairly average sized children, hopefully with his more elegant feet, not mine." And! "I find it weird [that people focus on our height difference] but when you're really happy you don't give a shit." [Daily Mail]
• Diane Lane will star in Secretariat, the Disney flick about the relationship between the 1973 Triple Crown-winning racehorse and his owner, Penny Chenery. [Variety]
• Blind item! "Which up-and-coming film star was smoking an alien substance out in the open at a recent NYC party?" [Gatecrasher]
• Q: What do you like most about your character? A: "There's nothing cool about her. It's fun to play someone who's well-intentioned but doesn't know the game. I enjoy competent but misguided characters. She's an open-faced sandwich, and because of that, she doesn't have anything savvy about her." — Amy Poehler, on Parks and Recreation. [Variety]
• "I am not one who has ever taken well to fame and what that attracts. It's a drag. I just wanted to be a songwriter and a singer. I did not bargain for all the rest of it." — Van Morrison says he would have abandoned his music career 40 years ago if one of his early albums had made him a superstar. [Reuters]
• "Wesley Snipes is a wonderful actor. Before the karate movies and stuff, when Wesley first got into the movies, he did drama and comedy. He's got all the talent. He does everything but he turned into the action dude. But James Brown isn't just singing and splits, you've got to chase the car and the crack heads. You've got to do the stunts. I'm too old to do the splits. They should make that movie with Wesley Snipes tomorrow." — Eddie Murphy may have played James Brown on SNL but wouldn't do it in a biopic. [Daily Express]
• "Being a 48-year-old rebel is not cool… I wouldn't describe myself as a shy person. I'm an introvert. I play extroverts on the screen, but I'm an introvert." — Eddie Murphy. [Mirror]
  
• "If I could interview Dolly every week, I would." — Morley Safer, 77, has no plans to retire from 60 Minutes and hearts Dolly Parton. And! He is not into bloggers: "I would trust a citizen journalist as much as I would trust a citizen surgeon." [Page Six]
• "I invented something that we tested out on-camera on Scientific American Frontiers. It was a device I had figured out to eliminate red-eye, if you attached it to any camera. So we made it, and it worked. I was really excited. It's the first time one of my inventions was tested and worked! I gave it to posterity, though." — Alan Alda, who loves science and has been the host of PBS series Scientific American Frontiers for the last decade. [NY Mag]
• "I talk to Lorne [Michaels] a lot, and he knows where my heart is. And he knows he's got a real hold on me. And he knows my weakness. I always tell him, 'I'm an addict. I'm an SNL addict.' And I will use again. Oh, I will." — Maya Rudolph, on returning to SNL for guest spots after leaving the show in 2007. [Yahoo News via AP]
• "The Obama administration came out and said the No. 1 chemical problem in the world is mercury…there will be a lot of documentaries coming out showing what happens when you have too much mercury in your system." — Jeremy Piven. [Page Six]
• "Poor Rob is already a Beatle. His whole life is documented. If he picks his nose, it's all over the Internet. He's just done for. I think he's kinda freakin' out, like, ‘What the fuck is going on?'" — Robert Pattinson's New Moon costar Ashley Greene. [MSNBC]
• "I'm always really worried about ruining their lives, especially with people that aren't famous. it's such a massive change. I'm kind of a paranoid wreck." — Robert Pattinson, on dating. [MSNBC]
• "It's very tempting to have a nanny and live in a gated community and have a chef – I'd love to have a few dinners cooked for me. But I don't want that for my children." — Kate Winslet doesn't need help, okay?!?! [Telegraph]
• "I love seeing my name on a woman's butt. Ladies, if you want to impress me when you meet me, I need to see my name on your right cheek. Girls have had tattoos of my face. One girl went and got her ass tattooed on her right arm… It's important to keep things tasteful." — Tyrese, whom I have interviewed and found to be as charming as this quote. [Page Six]

[Los Angeles, May 30. Image via INF]

[Los Angeles, CA. February 22. Image via Getty.]

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ that they try and book a suspect for the most serious crime they can be charged with. While domestic abuse is punishable by up to four years in prison, a suspect found guilty of making criminal threats will do up to nine years. Of course, it's up to the D.A. to file any additional charges. (And a jury must find him guilty.) In addition, the breaking news is that Chris Brown may have used a "deadly weapon" in the assault.

This high-profile situation raises so many questions:

• Will Rihanna break up with him? You might think think that a 911 call and a trip to the hospital would immediately mean that a relationship is over. But Diane Lane's husband, Josh Brolin, was arrested for spousal battery in 2004. She declined to press charges, however, and they remain married. And plenty of women, all over the world, stay in physically or emotionally abusive relationships.
• Will Chris Brown's career suffer? The singer has a deal with Wrigley's gum and has been pursuing acting; he was in StompThe Yard and on an episode of the The O.C and was supposed to star in a basketball film called Phenom. Do people support a man who hits women? Miles Davis sold a lot of albums. Axl Rose was accused of abuse by both Stephanie Seymour and ex-wife Erin Everly.
• What if Rihanna doesn't break up with Chris Brown? What would happen to her? Her well-being, her carefully-managed image via Jay-Z and the people at Def Jam; her ads for Gucci and CoverGirl cosmetics? Rihanna — and her management — were always reluctant to admit that the star was dating Chris Brown; how will they handle commenting on this incident to the public, should she choose to stay with him? Or will they "encourage" her to stop seeing him?

One thing is clear: Whether or not he is found guilty, Chris Brown has some issues he needs to deal with. In 2007, he talked to Giant magazine about his abusive stepfather:

Like the day an 11-year-old Brown made a promise to his mother. He vowed that he would go to jail by age 15 for killing his abusive stepfather. "I just want you to know that I love you," he told her. "But I'm gonna take a baseball bat one day while you at work, and I'm gonna kill him." Brown's parents had separated when he was seven. When his mother remarried, she moved her son and his new stepfather to a trailer park. Then his stepfather shot himself in the head. The shot went straight through the eyes. He survived the suicide attempt but was permanently blinded.

"When you're blind, your senses are heightened, like your smell, hearing, your sense of touch," Brown explains. "You can move and maneuver around your sight. But he used to hit my mom….He made me terrified all the time, terrified like I had to pee on myself. I remember one night he made her nose bleed. I was crying and thinking, ‘I'm just gonna go crazy on him one day…' I hate him to this day."

Chris Brown Could Do Nine Years in Prison [TMZ]
Chris Brown Allegedly Attacks Rihanna, Own Career With 'Deadly Weapon' [Defamer]
EXCLUSIVE: Is Chris Brown Violent? [Giant]

The Good:

We get it: you're a goddess.


I cannot get over Dakota Fanning. This kid is amazing! She doesn't put a foot wrong!


It's so nice to see how chic Eva Longoria can look when she breaks out of her usual mold!


As we all know, Kristin Scott-Thomas lives in Paris and has gone totally native; it shows!


Digging Kristen Bell's easy slip.


Looks like Rosemarie DeWitt shares my weakness for 20's bohemian chic!


Elizabeth Banks' spun gold may be my favorite look of the night!


I once read that Diane Lane always does this simple shape: you can see why.


I like to think of Angela Bassett's sort of elegance as "opera singer chic!"


Penelope Cruz always makes it look so easy.


Laura Dern's got the height to rock this 60's glam.


The Bad:
What stylist talked Anne Hathaway into wearing an enormous napkin tucked into her belt?


Look, I get what Katy Perry's going for, I do. But this is verging on costume shop!


Sarah Silverman looks so uncomfortable.


Sure, Amanda Bynes looks smokin', but I'm officially over the "sexy costume" that is the bandage.


Sally Hawkins is so talented and adorable...why does she always do "wacky mom" on the red carpet?!


[Images via Getty]

• Trouble a-brewin in Los Angeles! Apparently Nicole Richie is thrilled that Paris Hilton and Benji Madden broke up, because Nicole "never thought Paris was ever really into" Benji. Nicole also told her boyfriend's identical twin brother that he "deserves better." Burn! [Star]
• Speaking of Paris! She wants to take her breathy baby voice and use it to play Tinkerbell in a Disney live action movie based on the famous sprite. According to a source, "Paris has worked on her acting chops lately and showed some comedy prowess in her YouTube spoof of running for president. Disney suits saw it and think she may be developing some comedic-actress potential." But people were laughing at her, not with her. [Daily Express]

• Britney's husband of two minutes, Jason Alexander, was arrested for ditching his court appointed trips to the morgue. According to TMZ, "After Alexander was busted for DUI back in 2006, the judge ordered the 27-year-old to go to an alcohol education program, which required him to visit the local morgue. When the judge learned Alexander had ditched his first 2 appointments, he refused to give him a third chance and promptly chucked him in the slammer." [TMZ]
• Jada Pinkett insists that she and Will Smith are totes normal. "We are not perfect. We have bad days, just like any other couple. I tell Will all the time what makes you perfect are your imperfections." Yawn. [Daily Express]
• Olympic beach volleyball champ Kerri Walsh is expecting her first baby. Sayeth People: "What could be better than winning an Olympic gold medal? Becoming a mom, of course!" [People]
• Iggy Pop is so over New York and L.A., and thus picked up and moved to Miami. "I was fed up after 25 years in huge, dark, media-centric cities. I decided to find a house and move here. I was looking for something in a kind of elegant coma with a lot of peace and convenience," the Popster says. [CNN]
• Twilight hottie Robert Pattinson is overwhelmed by the screaming tweens who stalk him. "I didn't know anything about the hype when I was making it so now I just turn up and literally I used to get so stressed out because people are screaming at you. And you just think 'What do I have to do? I cant give anything back to you at all.'" [Daily Express]
• File under things that make you go hmmm: Gossip queen Ted Casablancas is wondering why no one ever followed up on the story about Diane Lane calling 911 on her volatile husband, Josh Brolin. He says he pressed Lane's PR folks on the matter more than once and has come up empty. [E! Online]
• Sources say that Johnny Depp will play Dante in a forthcoming film based on the Fourteenth Century scribe. The biopic will be about Dante's struggle to write the Divine Comedy.[Daily Express]
• What does Emma Thompson admire most in a person? "The ability to laugh in the face of disaster. Every joke is a form of rebellion. Mark Twain said that only laughter can blow nonsense 'to rags and atoms at a blast.'" [Reader's Digest]
• Why did Details think it would be cool to make Keri Russell look like an OD-ing heroin addict in this photoshoot? [Egotastic]
• Is A-Rod already cheating on her Madgesty? Sources say the Rod is obsessed with model Melissa Britos. [Perez]
• Though there were rumors that NeNe from Real Housewives of Atlanta was evicted, she is denying all that noise. "Everybody knows that I like to be honest, real and upfront. If something was wrong, I would tell you… please know that my family continues to be abundantly blessed, and that Miss NeNe has not skipped a beat!” [People]

[Los Angeles, December 2. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

I have a soft spot for Diane Lane for the convoluted reason that my parents met at a screening for A Little Romance. She had the list, he was on the list, the rest is, amongst other things, Sadie and her skinny hipster bro. BUT! This is one classy little number.
Peyton and Spencer List are too cute, right? Let's ignore the fact that they're child actors and the horrors in store for them. Hopefully they'll be like that kid from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory who just decides he hates acting and wants to be a dairy farmer. (BTW, thanks, E!)
I'm a sucker for disco fab like Viola Davis'. Especially when it looks like molten metal!
Apropos of nothing save that I didn't want everybody yelling at me when they heard Chris Meloni was here and I didn't show him! I think he plays Diane's douchey estranged husband to whom Richard presents a sensitive contrast.



The Bad:
I have a bad feeling that people like Hannah Storm think animal prints are "classic." Only to the extend they won't die. Fake prints, I mean. Not that we want people wearing real ones, either.
Carey "Mrs. Richard Gere" Lowell's dress is obscenely low-cut.
In case you needed more evidence.


The Ugly:
Coco, however, makes Carey Lowell look positively demure! Yesterday a friend suggested I put together a hilight reel of the best "Uglies." Might do this for Halloween...

[Images via Getty]

The Good:

The Bad:

The Ugly:

[Los Angeles, CA; February 24. Image via AP.]

[Beverly Hills, January 22. Image via INF.]

• Roberto Cavalli is now in the wine business. We hope it comes with a leopard print label! [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Diane Lane is the latest Neutrogena "brand ambassador." Jesus Christ do we hate that term. [WWD, 2nd item]
  
• Marcus Wilmont and Maki Aminaka Lofvander won England's Fashion Fringe award for their label Aminaka Wilmont. The collection they showed was inspired by the idea of "a serial killer model." Incidentally, Naomi Campbell "burst into spontaneous applause from her spot on the front row when they sent their first model down the catwalk." [Vogue UK]
  
• Jimmy Choo CEO Tamara Mellon's ex-husband Matthew on his former wife: "When your wife makes $100 million during the course of your marriage, it's quite a shocker . . . I felt like my masculinity had been stripped from me. I feel like my b - - - s are in a jar, like a Damien Hirst artwork on the mantelpiece." [NY Post]

• English model Sophie Andertson lost a $200,000 contract to be the face of a line of tanning salons (uh, yeah) after it was revealed that she offered sex and cocaine to an undercover reporter. Um, and the reporter didn't take it? All for the glory of ruining the career of a model no one has heard of? There should be some kind of anti-Pulitzer for this. [Daily Mail]
• New York Times Style section photographer Bill Cunningham has undergone eye surgery. Get well soon! [Fashion Week Daily]
• Converse is the latest brand to offer up an exclusive line at Target. Which makes us laugh. Cause like this is Converse after all, not Balenciaga. [Sassybella]
• Nordstrom's sales are up 22% in the third fiscal quarter. We think it's that in-store baby grand. [WSJ]

[LAX, October 18. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[LAX, October 10. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[West Hollywood, August 29. Image via Bauer-Griffin]