Memo to Details (and anyone else who needs telling): Not all Jews are white. Or "Caucasian," imprecise term that it is.

Type: Editorial Print (18+ only)
Client: DETAILS MAGAZINE
Shoot Date: Thursday Oct 22nd
Photographer: TBD
Shoot Location: NYC or Brooklyn
Pay: 250 Plus 10% (editorial rate)
Partial nude (breast covered) but on-set nudity required.

DESCRIPTION: Editorial piece celebrating the return of the Jewish
Woman a sex symbol.

(Female will be topless on set, nipple covered in final printed piece)

BREAKDOWN: Female Caucasian, 18-30, (Jewish or Israeli descent),
strong natural sex appeal, very comfortable with body on closed set.

TO SUBMIT: Submit face and any body shots. A current snap shot is also
appreciated make sure you include your measurements.

SUBMIT TO:

Submit (at) impossiblecasting (dot) com

SUBJECT: DETAILS STORY/YOUR NAME

Please include in your email that you are over 18 and you understand the requirements.

Those requirements include the following:



Earlier: On Details, Hot Jewish Girls, and Sloppy, Knee-Jerk Misogyny

At base a men's fashion magazine, Details is supposedly for a younger and even more status-conscious thirtysomething to GQ's bigger tent and Maxim's still-laddish sensibility (the latter is shrinking in reach, though its cultural contribution seems to live on). Details has lived many lives, but in editor-in-chief Dan Peres' most recent incarnation, the preference for a waif-like, unfratty male physique and an aging gay-or-not debate has been offset by proving "virility" in the crudest, oldest way: misogyny.

In article after article, Details seems to want to prove its heterosexual bonafides with porn-y photoshoots that flaunt misogyny in the guise of edgy humor. Its trend pieces' underlying social commentary is more often than not "your girlfriend/wife/one night stand is trying to trick you." In this imagining, sex and relationships are a minefield of lies and power plays, in which women are often seductive harpies who
cannot be trusted, and in which all too often, their sole goal is to encroach on male freedom. (Details' recently relaunched website actually has a sub-section called "Dating + Cheating." Unfortunately, their online archive doesn't go very far back). So yeah, why not treat women like garbage?

All of this, is of course, intentional provocation — inciting supposedly humorless feminists is part of being a real dude, right?

Another Details standby is to find a sexual niche and inflate it into purported social commentary — "Mandingos" anyone? The magazine's latest sexual trend story — "Why American Men Are Lusting After Women Of The Tribe... It Seems That America Can't Get Enough Smoking-Hot Semitic Tush Lately" — is no exception. It's a pretext for a package of "JILFS" (guess) that include photos of and interviews with starlets whose appeal hasn't historically hinged on their rabbinical status (Mila Kunis, Emmy Rossum, recent convert Isla Fisher).

No matter what, when it comes to sex, Details' version of edgy counterintuitiveness can be numbingly familiar:

Cheerleaders. Five-inch heels. Big, natural boobs. Those are merely the most obvious sexual fixations most men have, but there's another undeniable one: ladies of the tribe.

Undeniable! First off, I actually don't object in principle to celebrating Jewesses, notwithstanding the landmine that is the creepy ethnic fetish. And yeah, the whole objectifying thing. But why do such a sloppy, superficial job with the piece? Philip Roth — he of the iconically tortured and self-hating sexuality — as an example of Jews being "comparatively cool about sex," lumped in with Erica Jong? Throwing in a reference to the Apatow crew without mentioning that their films' romantic interests are often blonde, decidedly un-Jewish types like Leslie Mann and Katherine Heigl? (Missing the chance, by the way, to note that Roth and Apatow have a lot in common when it comes to shiksa obsessions that leave allegedly "smoking-hot" Jewish women out of the story). Not to mention crafting mostly-incomprehensible, stereotype-perpetuating sentences like this one:

"Recently, however, the Fran Drescher rep has given way to a more smoldering image. Think cultural mutts like Rachel Weisz, Emmanuelle Chriqui, and Rachel Bilson-women who have little in common beyond sultriness and Star of David necklaces."

Huh? Does Rachel Weisz (who has spoken articulately about being a Jewish woman in Hollywood) count as a mutt because she's from England? Or Emmanuelle Chriqui because her parents are from Morocco? And if they have little in common, what exactly are we talking about here?

The rest of the piece grafts together some references to porn featuring Jewish women (I invite you to find a subset of the population that porn has not at one point or another fetishized), a self-published calendar, and yes, a Fleshbot poll of proclivities that placed "Jewish women" just under "freckles." The author cites Joanna Angel as the sole example of porn stars who "actively embrace" their Jewishness because she describes herself as having a "Jewish nose," but then quotes her saying she's rejected roles in Jewish-themed movies.

Just performing this close reading is starting to make me feel stupider – I suspect I've spent more time on it than the author and editors spent on the piece. But that's Jewish girls for you – whiny and demanding, if occasionally good for some Star of David-shaped pasties when all other trend story options have been exhausted. But really, although there have been serious pieces snuck in here and there (and I actually thought this one raised good, and even, dare I say it, feminist points) one wonders why Details bothers with words at all.

Update: We got the interior images accompanying the story.

The Rise Of The Hot Jewish Girl [Details]

Related: Did Your Girlfriend Trick You Into Fatherhood? [Details]
The Return Of The Office Affair [Details]
Look Who's Sleeping With Your Wife [Details]
Everyone Else is Cheating-So Why Aren't You? [Details]

Earlier: Men's Magazine Treats Women Like Garbage, Furniture

As we now know, all women over 35 are obsessed with Edward Cullen. This 46-year-old apparently speaks for her entire sisterhood when she says "I dream about him. I dream explicit dreams about Edward. You can't put down what I dream about Edward. It is very, very erotic. It's not Rob Pattinson. It's Edward." Yeah, we know. We're well aware of how women feel about the 108-year-old teen and the poor sap who plays him. But how do the menfolk respond to all this adulation? Enter Details.

"A lot of guys tell me they think Edward's a stalker," says Kristina Hart, a 30-year-old Boeing employee. "I wouldn't mind being stalked by Edward." She's wearing a T-shirt that says, "Edward can BUST my headboard, BITE my pillows, and BRUISE my body any day!"

And there are more such tales of men's inability to appreciate Twilight's pull:

"My husband is totally unamused by this," Noble says. "He says Edward is a 17-year-old fictional character. But that's not how I think of it. I say he's a 108-year-old character."..."He doesn't get it," Robbins says. "That's what he told me yesterday. But with life so crazy, this is my escape- Twilight. Edward. Men get into that comfortable rut once the relationship is there. Life gets so busy&" She trails off, then adds, "Men and women both, they lose that need to impress each other."

That said, all the women feel that "there's a little bit of Edward in every guy" if you dig, but it seems unlikely that the dudes are going to bother to find out, let alone read the "7 Lessons Guys Can Learn from Edward Cullen" posted (by a woman) on YouTube. Although one guy in the piece is about as close as a Twi-hard mom is likely to find. Even if it means seriously torturing his sons.

Jim Roden, a 37-year-old Navy reservist from Oregon who's about to ship off to Afghanistan, made a pilgrimage to Forks with his two young sons and his 33-year-old wife, Dawn. This whole Edward thing-Roden's given it some serious thought. "The seduction aspect of it, that forbidden romance, that hint of danger and intrigue-most of the girls dig that stuff, and most of the guys are not able to pan it out on a daily basis," he says. "It makes you think: Why can't I ante up and do those kinds of things? Have I slipped a little? Have I gotten a little too comfortable? When was the last time I bought her flowers? Or took her out? When was the last time I was spontaneous?" Roden's on a roll. "Being married doesn't give you a free pass to let yourself go. If it takes some silly little girls' book to remind you, that's kind of sad, but you've got to keep plugging away at it," he says. "And an occasional bite on the neck can't hurt."

That said, if the piece is any guide, most guys seem unlikely to break out the glitter any time soon. On the other hand, given that a sidebar invites readers to "star in your own photo shoot with Adam Lambert," perhaps there's hope yet.

So the Woman You Love Has the Hots for a Vampire. What Does That Say About You? [Details]

"Twilight" Of Our Youth [Salon]

Related:Older Women Crave 'New Moon' Vampires [CNN]
‘Twilight,' Take Me Away! [New York]

Earlier: "...I Had More Sex When I Was Reading Twilight Than In The Entire Few Months Before"

Deceptive, baby-hungry women have always been a staple of male-mythology; punching a hole in a condom is the sort of thing we like to do between maxing out guys' credit cards on shoes and sleeping with their best friends. So it's not shocking that this particular urban horror story should make the lad-mag rounds just in time for Halloween.

What is shocking and depressing is the number of women who the author brings in to bolster the story, making it seem as though it's totally common practice and that deception is part of women's acknowledged code of conduct.

"It's not about trapping the guy," Jody says. "That's kind of old-fashioned. Yeah, you want him to be into it, but there are other ways to get a guy to commit. If you're smart and in a good relationship, it's just about the fact that you want a kid." Even in her circle of young, urban, and gainfully employed friends, Jody says, this particular brand of subterfuge isn't exactly condemned the way one might expect. In fact, it's sort of, well, normal. "I see and hear people talk about it, and I understand. I get it," she says, "and I don't even think it's that manipulative. It's more like, 'Hey, the timing is right for me. I got pregnant-oops! Well, it's here, let's have it.' I think that's more the way it is now than it was back in the day when you had to marry someone before you got pregnant. Marriage doesn't matter now."

Then there's alleged feminine "logic" like this:

"A lot of us feel like it's not even really fair that men should get to vote, considering they could be 72 and, with a little Viagra, have another baby," says Vicki Iovine, author of The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy. "For us women, it's really a limited window. We know that boys who grow up to become men don't necessarily want to be men. They like to be boys. And so women say, 'You know what? He's gonna just have to snap out of it-and my pregnancy will be the thing to do it.'" The end, says Iovine, sometimes justifies the means. "Any guy with a heart and soul, and preferably with a job, once he sees the baby on the sonogram or hears the heartbeat, will melt," she says.

Wait - what? Don't rope me in with these women who want to disenfranchise men because they're...fertile for longer? For every Cosmo-wielding nutter this guy dredged up (and I'd really like to see the email he sent out requesting quotes from "friends") he could have found ten thousand who found the idea not merely abhorrent, but insulting and frankly incomprehensible.

Of course, to the author it makes total sense:

The average cost of in vitro fertilization in the United States is $100,000 per baby-and insurance generally won't pay a cent. Combine that with the shifting social mores about single motherhood and having kids outside of marriage, and you've got a pretty good explanation for why some women, particularly ones in stable relationships, don't see this as trickery at all-it's more like a nudge.

What these "shifting social mores" are, he neglects to say. Nor can he get a real read on the number of wily tricksters are out there, stealing men's sperm and then gouging them for money, because of the women who get preggers while on birth control, "there's no way of knowing how much of that disparity can be explained away by "intentional" oversight, but that's a big gap to chalk up to carelessness." Okay, first of all, there's a reason the Ring has taken off, and it's not because a plastic disc in one's vagina is so incredibly erotic. The pill is an enormous pain in the ass, an expensive, distorting, side-effect-inducing millstone with no regard for travel schedules, the availability of doctor's appointments, sleep, jet lag, pharmaceutical and insurance vagaries. That's 365 chances a year to screw things up. And while, yes, theoretically, it works, the reality is never, ever that straightforward. So save your insinuations, please.

Are there women who do this? I guess there are. If you believe Glee, the world is full of deceitful women. There are a lot of dishonest, desperate, screwed-up people out there who do all kinds of things. But this is not, I repeat not, common or acceptable amongst women. If anything, I think we'd judge it more, not merely because it's awful, but because we've fought hard for birth control and reproductive rights and that wasn't to entrap men into marriage.

I can understand that it must be hard for a man to surrender all control of this issue - believe us, it's not so fun assuming the total responsibility, the chemical consequences, or the expense. But there are such things as condoms. A guy who claims he was tricked into impregnating his girlfriend (he has no contact with the child, but does pay child support) has sued his ex. The case has been taken up by the National Center for Men, which calls it "Roe vs. Wade . . . for Men." No, see, that would be if men were legally denied the right to wear condoms. But while I am, in fact, willing to believe this occasionally happens (apparently, judging from the psychos quoted above) it's also, as the judge ruled, simply impossible to prove - and more to the point, a very slippery slope indeed in a world where many men are all too ready to duck their responsibilities.

And it's irresponsible stories like this that perpetuate dangerous, offensive stereotypes and misconceptions. For the vast, vast majority of us, having a baby is quite a big enough deal without adding deception and ruses to the mix. Guys, wanna avoid this? Don't sleep with someone crazy, because literally no one rational is pulling this. Your DNA is not that appealing. Oh, and wear a condom. The needle thing is too obvious for most of us crazy baby-grubbers, anyway.

That Was No "Accident" [Details]

• Miley Cyrus might make you want to puke: Hannah Montana Chocolate Granola Bars have been recalled due to suspected salmonella contamination. [Perez]

• Natasha Richardson suffered a serious head injury in a ski accident and has been hospitalized in Montreal. Husband Liam Neeson has rushed to her side. [People]
• Oh, no: Natasha Richardson is in critical condition. As you may know, she is the eldest daughter of Vanessa Redgrave; her sister Joely Richardson is also an actress, best known for Nip/Tuck. Natasha Richardson has been in A Month in the Country, Nell, The Parent Trap and Maid in Manhattan. [Yahoo News via AP]
• DJ AM is seeking $10 million in medical costs, lost earnings and damages, plus $10 million for mental and physical pain after the September plane crash in which he and Travis Barker were the only survivors. [People]
• Psychiatrist Khristine Eroshevich turned herself in to police Monday, facing charges of excessively prescribing drugs to Anna Nicole Smith. she's out on bail. [AP]
• Fox's Roger Friedman on Julia Roberts: "She was rude, downright nasty, and dismissive. She snubbed me in front of other people to make her point… Her behavior was unexpected and chilling." Apparently she knows Friedman as "the man who writes bad things about me." [Fox 411 ]
• Mickey Rourke is in a Russian prison… Doing research for his Iron Man role. [Daily Mail]
• If you didn't get a chance to audition for ANTM because of the stampede in NYC on Saturday, don't fret! Tyra says: "We are doing everything we can to make sure that ALL the girls who weren't seen get an opportunity to audition — we'll update you on our plans very soon." Sorta hoping they call it America's Next Top Model Who Can't Reach The Top Shelf. [US Magazine]
• Amy Winehouse is planning a "heart-to-heart" with estranged husband Blake Fielder-Civil. Her dad says: "I want her to get divorced." Tell us how you really feel! [The Star]
• Amy Winehouse's dad also says: "Amy wants to resolve the situation. She's guilty of loving him, stupid girl." That's her own father, calling her stupid. [The Sun]
• Since Amy Winehouse has visa issues which ban her from coming to the U.S., she is headed back to the Caribbean. She'll headline the 18th Annual St. Lucia Jazz festival in May. The Minister of Tourism is thrilled and says "She's welcome to stay as long as she wants to." [Yahoo News via E!]
• But uh, Amy Winehouse is still facing an assault charge from back in September, so she needs to deal with that first. [Mirror]
• The Daily (Hate) Mail has printed pictures of Jesus Luz's ex-girlfriends and pointed out that they are "younger and prettier" than Madonna. Rude! [Daily Mail]
• By the by, Guy Ritchie had dinner with Elle Macpherson. [Daily Mail]
• Here is a photograph of Prince William helping out in a kitchen at a homeless charity, "following in his mother's footsteps." He looks genuinely happy. [Daily Mail]
• Clive Owen was asked who would win in a battle of wits: Himself or Julia Roberts? "She would, because she's very smart," he said. She agreed: "I would. It's just me," Julia said. "I have my tricks." [USA Today]
• There's a naked Lithuanian model on top of Zac Efron in the new Interview magazine, FYI. Zac and the young lady rolled around in dirt for the photo shoot and Zac says, without irony: "I got pretty dirty by the end of it, so that was fun. It was definitely different from anything I had ever done before." [Just Jared]
• Cops are going to interview Calum Best after a woman claims she was raped by his friend while he slept just a few feet away. [The Sun]
• Heath Ledger directed two music videos before his death; one for Modest Mouse and one for Grace Woodroofe. Both will be released this year. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Steve-O is the latest contestant to be injured on Dancing With The Stars. Does the show pay medical bills? [UPI]
• Portia de Rossi is still not pregnant, and not trying, despite what the weeklies are saying. [People]
• Sacha Baron Cohen tricked the Alabama National Guard into giving him a military uniform and letting him train — possibly for a scene for Bruno. A young cadet recognized him — maybe when he exposed his thong while changing — and alerted superiors. A staff sergeant is calling the incident an "embarrassment," but it sound like a security risk. [AP]
• Carson Daly's girlfriend Siri Pinter has given birth to their son, Jackson James Daly. [UPI]
• Guy Ritchie will direct a remake of The Wild Geese, "with a budget that will buy him some real star names." The original flick had Richard Burton, Richard Harris and Roger Moore; who will be the new trio? [Telegraph]
• Will Matt Damon be Jason Bourne again? Signs point to yes. [Guardian]
• Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber are both playing spies, but in different films. [Telegraph]
• Brad Pitt's film company, Plan B, is producing a flick based on John Le Carré's book The Night Manager. [Variety]
• Alex Rodriguez is seen kissing himself in a mirror in the new issue of Details. [NY Post]
• Jon Stewart's brother — who is head of US Markets & Global Technology at NYSE Euronext — helped him kick Jim Cramer's ass. [Page Six]
• No one is watching Kings or Celebrity Apprentice. [AdAge]
• Creators of Family Guy won a lawsuit which made it okay to turn the song "When You Wish Upon A Star into "I Need A Jew." [Reuters]
• It's tough to believe that villagers are living in fear of Pete Doherty moving to their town, but that is the headline here. [The Sun]
• There seem to be "two strapping young lads locking lips" on the cover of Bob Dylan's new album. This paper calls the photo "controversial." A commenter writes, "ha ha ha whats the issue?" [The Sun]
• Speaking of Bob Dylan, "Malibu residents say wind-borne odors from a portable toilet at the singer's compound are making them ill." [LA Times]
• Tons of Elvis stuff has gone up in an online auction — bids as low as ten bucks! [Reuters]
• "Tori is my daughter, and I love her. I wish her all the best with the publication of her new book… I never read her first one because my friends and family advised me against it. They said it would hurt my feelings, so I decided to pass. I won't read her new one either." — Candy Spelling, who moved the publication date of her book up two weeks so that it wouldn't hit stores on the same date as Tori's new book. [Us Magazine]
• "She's a little dictator. Definitely the most colorful person I've ever met. I feel so connected to her, but at the same time, we are completely different. I discover something new about her every day." — Salma Hayek, on her daughter, Valentina. [Mirror]
• "It's so sad that there's such an invasion of privacy, with camera people, cops and paparazzi outside their home. I mean, when have you not thrown something when you're mad? Everyone has to admit that at one time in their life, they've gotten so mad that they've thrown something, but maybe not necessarily breaking a window. Can't people have an argument without everyone watching? Just because she had an argument, I don't think it means that she's off track and that everything is crazy. It's really just messed up that everyone blames her. I think everyone needs to let her breathe." — Kim Kardashian on Lindsay Lohan. [People]

• Like everyone in Fashion, Vogue Editor at XL Andre Leon Talley has many opinions, feels they should be heard. "Asked how Americans can still look fabulous despite the recession, Talley said, 'Wear something old that you love' until Election Day. 'Then, vote for Barack Obama, who'll fix the economy.'" [NY Daily News]
• Most depressing/embarrassing WSJ video ever. "Guy" reporter goes to the Mall of America and interviews people about Republican style. [WSJ]
• Beloved former Chloe brain Phoebe Philo snapped up by Celine! [WWD]
• Nastia Liukin is so over gymnastics. The gold medalist, who's gonna be front and center at Fashion Week, is launching a line. "The five foot three athlete is working with Vanilla Star jeans on launching Nastia Liukin Gold jeans and tops for holiday sales. She is also in talks to design a line of activewear for GK, the company that makes her leotards, which she designs with her mom." [NY Mag]

• Chanel boycotts Russia because of Georgian situation...?! Oh, wait, no, the conflict just meant they couldn't get the venue they wanted. "A Chanel spokeswoman said the decision to nix Moscow was made in July before the crisis in Georgia as the company could not secure the venue it wanted in the Russian capital." [WWD]
• Crasher alert! "A man calling himself "Tom Klein" has been infiltrating chic soirees, claiming he works for Women's Wear Daily. This Klein character got caught when he tried to get on the list for last night's Gossip Girl party at the Empire Hotel, hosted by Dior Beauty, a source said. The crasher, claiming to be a senior editor at Fairchild Media, sends e-mails from a fake address. A WWD spokeswoman told Page Six, 'He is not an employee of Fairchild or Condé Nast.'" [P6]
• Here's how to deal with the recession: Meet the new status phones! "Constructed of precious metals, studded with diamonds and other jewels, and wrapped in exotic leathers, they have struck a chord among the small group of people who can afford them—namely, millionaires and celebrities." [BusinessWeek]
• Banana Republic courts Details readers...or the other way around? Are they different? "Beginning Wednesday through Sept. 17, each retail location will have extensive in-store magazine branding with "look cards," store displays, signage and fitting room signs. Bananarepublic.com will host a microsite with more style tips from Details and special offers from the retailer." [WWD]
• Stefano Pilati's beautiful YSL fashion look book being ignored because it's in a free tote. "When the news hit the fashion blogs last week, it was all about the cute bag, not the amazing images of Naomi Campbell, photographed by Inez van Lamsweerde and Vinoodh Matadin. To think, a real ‘It’ bag, for free, considering a Muse starts around $1,395. And, on the handout, the YSL logo is fetchingly printed upside down." [NYT]
• For those of us who already can't afford Tracy Reese, the news of her new, high-end line will not come as a joyful surprise. [WWD]
• Uniqlo might be bringing its cheap cashmere to India, Russia. [WSJ]
• What recession? H&M expands. Says the CEO, "Our strategy is based on the concept of fashion and quality at the best price...It helps us stay balanced even during economic downturns." [Business Week]
• Apparently, fashionistas have no qualms about fast fashion! Reports a Racked spy,"I was in the Forever21 in Soho and heard the one of the managers tell her staff in a meeting to 'look out' and 'be prepared' for stylists, editors and celebrities coming this week for Fashion Week." [Racked]
• Todd Oldham admits his show Top Design kind of blows. Okay, not really. "I would not want to be a contestant on this show at all," he says. "It's just too brutal. I said it before, but this is the only show I know on TV that is a thousand times harder than what it looks. It was way, way harder than what it looked like." [Breitbart]
• Designer and glamorous eccentric Isabel Toledo feted by the fashion elite: "A drag queen performed a cabaret homage to Ms. Toledo—"Isabel, you've chaaaaanged!"—which featured the word "motherfucker." Then Emcee Simon Doonan, of Barney's...narrated a slideshow of Ms. Toledo's life, from 'the Cuban Revolution to this incredibly un-Communist luncheon.'" [Observer]
• The Hef effect? "At New York fashion week, which kicks off Friday, designers including Phillip Lim, Michael Bastian and Tim Hamilton are expected to show a number of pajama-inspired clothes that are meant to be worn in broad daylight. The looks include colored piping on jackets and shirts, spread-open pajama collars, soft, unpadded jackets that hang loosely off the shoulders — and, of course, voluminous drawstring pants." [WSJ]
• Jonathan Saunders for Target might be awesome. Why must they tempt us with their fast fashion?! [Fabsugar]
• "With casual sweaters and sharp suits in shades of black, white and grey, Ji Wenbo became the first Chinese designer to showcase a collection at Japan's Fashion Week in a bid to woo customers in fashion-savvy Tokyo." [Reuters]
• With fashion in transition, we lack a Savior: "Still, there is no world-beater. There are no names that suggest clear-cut potential both to reshape fashion and somehow with it the global culture of style. There is no one, to take the obvious example, likely to replace Yves Saint Laurent, who died in June and seemingly took with him not merely a genius for conjuring glamour from whole cloth, but also for draping his designs to suit the mood of his time." [NYT]
• The New York Observer throws its pink hat into the fashion-glossy ring with Observer Style, "a semiannual magazine due to make its debut Nov. 16 and focused on the local fashion scene." [WWD]
• Carlos Miele is expecting a baby. "Insiders" say it's a boy called Leonardo. The item is titled, "stork to bring stylish baby." [P6]

• Daniel Radcliffe tells Details magazine that he lost his virginity at 16 with an older woman! He says the age difference "wasn't ridiculous" but "would freak some people out." What age would freak you out? 21? 31? 41? [Daily Mail]
• Also from Details: "I think part of me would love to play a drag queen, just because it would be an excuse to wear loads of eye makeup." — Daniel Radcliffe. [MSNBC, UPI]
• Joe Francis has had a new assistant since his release from jail in March: She is Holly Montag, Heidi's older sister. Apparently she is running his life. Joe says: "Holly is fantastic, probably the best assistant I have ever had." The Montag family, so classy. [Page Six]
• Holy crap! OK! magazine has a double cover for the first time ever. Democratic on one side, Republican on the other. Obama and Palin are the new Britney and Lindsay. [MSNBC]
• Us Weekly has a Sarah Palin cover too. More on this in a verrrry interesting Midweek Madness. [Us]

• Two men from Malibu have been charged with misdemeanor counts of battery for attacking a paparazzo who was snapping pix of Matthew McConaughey surfing in the Pacific Ocean in June. Officials say the two dudes threw the photog in the water from where he was taking pictures on the beach. They each face up to six months in jail and a $2000 fine. [Reuters]
• Hilary Swank is set to "pack on the pounds" to play the lead in French Women Don't Get Fat, the adaptation of Mireille Guiliano's best-selling book, which Swank is also producing. Even though the book is um, nonfiction, a story is being crafted! Hilary will play the manager of a champagne company dealing with French ladies who eat bread, wine and pastries and never gain an ounce. Fun. Lemme guess: She learns to slow down and enjoy, thereby losing weight? [E!]
• Remember how Josh Brolin and Jeffrey Wright were arrested in Shreveport, Louisiana for allegedly keeping cops from breaking up a bar brawl? Seems like the whole thing is getting swept under the rug. The police department supposedly has tapes of the incident, but they have never been released. Could it be because cops maybe called Wright the N-word and he was hit with a taser? [Radar]
• A friend of Lily Allen's was abducted at gunpoint and held hostage for a week. He's been released and Lily has thanked the police: "We were all terrified and from what I hear you guys did an amazing job." [Daily Express]
• Scene: Lily Allen and Elton John on stage at the GQ Awards. Lily: "And now to the most important part of the night-" Elton: "What? Are you going to have another drink?" Lily: "Fuck off Elton. I am 40 years younger than you and have my whole life ahead of me!" Elton: "I could still snort you under the table." Lily: "Fuck off. I don't know what you are talking about." [The Sun]
• The new movie The Women might suck, despite its secret new age-y message. [Fox 411]
• Cameron Diaz and Paul Sculfor have been all over each other at the US Open. Is it Love? [The Sun]
• Oh, but when Cameron shops, Paul gets bored. [Page Six]
• Blistex polled 3,000 women and Keira Knightley was voted as having the "perfect pout." [The Sun]
• Tiffani Thiessen, who played Valerie on 90210, doesn't seem that into the new 90210. [E!]
• Jon Bon Jovi is teaming up with the State of New Jersey to build homes that will cater to homeless people with special needs, like AIDS patients. Oh, we're halfway there. Oh. Oh! Living on a prayer. [USA Today]
• Wow, haven't heard from this guy in a while: Howard K. Stern is suing the man who used to be Larry Birkhead's bodyguard. And! He also has a $60 million libel suit pending against the company (and woman) that published Blonde Ambition: The Untold Story Behind Anna Nicole Smith's Death. He's not happy about the gay allegations. [Yahoo News]
• Jessica Simpson almost quit singing but Dolly Parton helped her with letters of encouragement, aww. [Yahoo News]
• Some idiot paparazzi was harassing Chris Brown, asking him if he was going to sing with the Jonas Brothers; Chris responded, "No, I'm doing a duet with your mom." [TMZ]
• Heath Ledger's estate has sold his Hollywood Hills home, nicknamed The Treehouse, for $2.5 million. It is unknown if Michelle Williams and Matilda will get part of the money from the sale. [News.com.au]
• Does Hugh Grant have a new 27-year-old ladyfriend? He was seen hanging with former model Catherine Fulmer in The Hamptons recently. Catherine, by the by, was wearing a vest, shorts and no shirt: Toplessness! [The Sun]
• Morrissey has split with his management firm after just three months. Please please please: Let me get what I want this time. [Reuters]
• A poster for Angelina Jolie's film Wanted was banned in the UK because it "glamorizes gun crime" and is "likely to provoke violence." It's the one where she's lying on the hood of a car holding a shotgun. [The First Post]
• Blind item! "Which hip-hop mogul had a hidden video camera installed in a light fixture in his bedroom? He likes to record his sessions with unsuspecting ladies for future replays." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which closeted actor who once dated an actress 'beat the hell out of her,' according to her friend?" [Page Six]
• The Library Of Congress will honor Stevie Wonder with the Gershwin Prize for Popular Song. This is only the second time this prize has been awarded: The first was in 2007, to Paul Simon. The award recognizes a musician's lifetime of work and Wonder will receive it on Feb. 23, 2009. Love's In Need Of Love Today, you guys. [AP]
• Rock band Great White, whose pyrotechnics sparked a nightclub fire that killed 100 people in 2003, will play $1 million to survivors and victims' relatives. [Newser, via AP]
• Who is Philip Olivier? He used to be on Hollyoaks or something. It doesn't matter: He is smoking hot. Click here to see. [The Sun]
• "Am I gay? If you want to know the truth, ask the people who go to bed with me." — The late Dusty Springfield, in a 1999 interview. [Page Six]
• "I have auditory hallucinations, I hear voices saying derogatory things, like I'm terrible and I'm going to die, and they're usually worse in the afternoon" — Brian Wilson. [Page Six]
• "I had the hot iron in my hand and he had a handful of my hair. He grabbed the hand with the iron in it and was pushing [it] toward my face. He ended up pressing that hot iron against my other arm. I heard my flesh sizzling, and the smell was sickening. I started screaming from the pain. He dropped the iron and I turned to run, and his nail swiped across my eyeball and shredded my cornea." — Sandy (Pepa) Denton of Salt-n-Pepa, on her abusive boyfriend, a man she calls "Brad." She is celibate now. [Rush & Molloy]

Maybe, just maybe, had Mr. Vass worn a condom, these "oopsings" wouldn't happen with such frequency. But for these snip-happy dudes, asking them to use condoms is just preventing the increased pleasure they think they deserve. Vass says his post-vasectomy, condom-free banging is "like eating junk food and knowing you're not going to get fat."

Um, except junk food doesn't ever give you STDs. The vasectomy enthusiasts, according to Morgan, are also "spurred by a philosophical argument: Why should women be in control of when—and if—they have children?" Perhaps because we're the ones who carry the children around for nine months and expel them out our vaginas? But you know, if these guys are just going to have sex without condoms, it's probably best that they have to deal with a painful and possibly irreversible procedure to do so. And the guys interviewed for this piece don't seem to be getting vasectomies because they never want children: they're getting them solely to absolve themselves of responsibility. I guess what's so troubling about the piece is the way these men talk about the women they fuck. There's an underlying current of hatred and of distrust. Again: maybe it's best that these guys don't reproduce in the first place.

The Birth-Control Extremists [Details]

"According to Fabio," says Details, "Clooney called [Fabio's female] dinner companions — who'd won the date at a charity auction benefiting the California Highway Patrol — names." What names? "Bitches [and] even badder words," says Fabio, who continues:

This guy, he ate more than he could chew. He laid a hand on me, so it would have been self-defense if I had beaten him down. I could have fucked him up. Oh my god, I could have beaten the shit out of him. I was so pissed off. So I go over and I'm like, 'Listen, I will fuck you up.' Right then, I could have knocked him over and beat him. I could have punched him in the face while he was on his back. That's how you really hurt someone — their face can't amortize the punch so it takes, it takes the whole impact. I am still so pissed at him. To insult women like that. He is a dog whose noise is worse than his bite.

Fabio [Details]

This Paris Hilton quest for fame...she's blissfully obvious. Oh my god, we've been away for...Where were we? We hadn't seen television for...like a month. I'm probably exaggerating. And we just got back to the United States. And we turned on CNN. And on comes Paris Hilton, going to jail. And so we just turned it off again.

On his kids:

"Well, I had one kids, then two kids, then three kids. Two and a half years or so. Listen, I've always embraced extremes, so it doesn't feel odd to me. There's a couple weeks of finding your balance, and then it's in stone."

"You just look at them and go, my daughter's from Ethiopia, two sons from Asia, a daughter who's born in Namibia-and they are brother and sister, They have the same dynamics I had growing up, and I...It pleases me so much. I get so warm. I don't even see in that, anymore, what their lives could have been. I have to intellectually think about that. They are a bond, they are a family. And I want to see those bonds and that family grow. And that right there, sitting in our kitchen, is how I want to see the world. It's how I want the world to be."