You will "save" if you buy right now! There must be someone in your life who needs a "Tower Of Treats." In my case, that person appears to be me.

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Aw, the Gingerbread Man is adorable. Wait: You have to take his head off to get to the treats? Hmm. I guess that is the fate of all Gingerbread Men and Women. More important: I spy yogurt-covered pretzels. Mmmm.

Look at the size of that chocolate chip cookie. Look at it. Then turn your attention to the true Christmas miracle: Peppermint bark.

Ignore the fruitcake and focus on the Cheesecake Party Wheel. Ask yourself this: Would you like to make a reservation for a party of one?

Fruit paired with cheese and crackers and then a side of popcorn, with cookies and candies for dessert? This is a full meal.

A Tower of Chocolates, however, has my name all over it.

Salty and sweet together really gets those taste buds going, Crunch goes so well with creaminess, and vice-versa. You can nibble, gobble, savor and… um, what were we talking about?

Damn. Forget what I said about fruit not being appealing. That pear looks juicy.

Harry & David [Official Site]

Earlier: Dean & Deluca Thanksgiving: Mouth-Watering, Wallet-Emptying
Mackenzie: Hot, Steamy, Scrumptious Food Porn

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Tender meat… bulging and exploding with a surprise inside. All you have to do is put it in your mouth.



Juicy, sticky, sweet and warm.

Would you like to nibble a lean little hunk? Or get your hands on something fleshy and chunky? Ooh, naughty: You want both at the same time, don't you.



Opened wide. Ready, willing. Waiting.

Or do you like it raw? Glistening and pink?

What a tease… Encouraging you to finger those folds.

Put your tongue inside, where it's moist and delicious.

Oozing. Just for you. You know you want it.

Biting is allowed… encouraged.

Can't you feel your heart race? It's dripping and luscious, waiting to be penetrated. [Ugh, Dodai, I'm blushing. -Ed.]

Mackenzie Ltd [Official Site]

Earlier: The Naked Chef: Pfaelzer Brothers Peddle Hot Food Porn

I love love love the Mexican sugar skulls on the cover, but they are $30 for 3. And they're inedible.

The "Devil Chocolates" sound interesting: They are "sinful" dark chocolate filled with spicy apricot. When it comes to fruit and chocolate, for me, it's hit and miss: Strawberries, yes; raspberries, no. But apricot I haven't tried.

The chocolate skulls — some with edible silver — are my favorite thing on this page, though the marzipan figurines on the bottom are adorable. Not that I like marzipan.

Vampire cookies for the Twihard in your life! As for the jack o' lantern cake, it's milk chocolate cake layered with "lush chocolate cream filling, frosed with rich vanilla buttercream and wrapped in orange-tinted white chocolate." Oh, the picket fence and cat are chocolate, too. Lots of detail, maybe that's why it's $140.

Pumpkin cheesecake with graham cracker crust? Yes please. Throw in some chocolate covered caramel apples, as well.

I've never heard of Cream-nuts before, but since they are peanut butter blended with white chocolate, mixed with chopped pecans and then "enrobed" in milk or dark chocolate, they might be my new favorite candy.

The cupcake giftbox sounds ridiculously awesome, since it has spicy pumpkin cupcakes with cinnamon cream frosting; chocolate cupcakes with chocolate frosting and Madagascar bourbon vanilla cupcakes with vanilla buttercream frosting. But nine for $55? Truly frightening. I think I'd rather have the Trick or Treat bag with 40 bucks worth of candy.

Wait a minute: when deciding between cupcakes and candy, there's no need to choose! Long live cupcake candy.

Lastly a pumpkin cake "almost too pretty to cut." Vanilla spice cake layered with praline buttercream and chocolate fudge — under a white chocolate shell. Guaranteed to force you to reset your New Year's resolutions.

Dean & Decluca [Official Site]

Earlier: Halloween In 2-D Looks Frighteningly Delicious
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The Naked Chef: Pfaelzer Brothers Peddle Hot Food Porn

I've been a waitress. I know it's rough, and you develop weird shticks, and a lot of customers probably respond to the whole "co-conspirator" approach to dessert ordering, the sly proffering of the dessert menu, the impish wink of the enabler, otherwise it wouldn't be so common. But. Trying to "tempt" me or winkingly insinuate that there's something naughty about getting a piece of cake or generally carrying on as though we're somehow putting something over on someone by having a sweet is offensive. Because you know what? There's nothing particularly "decadent" or wild about ordering dessert. Is it because I'm a woman, and it's supposed to be taboo and naughty and yogurt-commercial-ish for me to be treating myself? Is the implication that I'm sneaking something or cheating on a diet?

You may say I'm overreacting, that it's in my head like when I worry waiters think I'm my father's younger girlfriend and I call him "Dad" unnecessarily loudly in front of them. Perhaps. But I have felt the dessert girls club imposed upon me, and cringed at it, and not two nights ago while dining out with a group of female friends, a waitress leaned over the table conspiratorially and in the voice of an indulgent nanny said, "do you like chocolate and peanut butter?"

When I was a waitress myself, I am told I overcompensated. At one early gig, I had a colleague who was very nudge-nudge wink-wink about sweets, especially with tables of women, and threw around words like "sinful" a lot and as a result thereafter I not only never suggested dessert to anyone (something my various managers had to speak to me about several times) but if someone did order cake or pie I was stern and stony-faced throughout the whole transaction. (It should be said that this person also had the annoying habit of saying she'd gone to "a little school in Boston" instead of just answering "Harvard," so maybe I shouldn't have let her influence my behavior one way or the other.)

I have asked various male friends if they've experienced the phenomenon. They were 1) not interested and 2) hadn't. I choose to believe it's of a piece with the unhealthy relationship our society has cultivated between women and food, where matter-of-fact enjoyment has no place at the dining table. This is not the fault of any server - most of whom are not even guilty of conspiring - but rather of centuries of creepy marketing, a pernicious diet industry, and six seasons of Sex and the City. In answer to your question, yes, I will have that piece of pie. A la mode. And without a side of knowing winks.

The "American Farmstead cheese collection" includes Marieke Gouda, Vermont Ayr, La Fleurie and Capriole O'Banon. Whatever that means. Looks delicious. Also not bad? The sheep. And the dude.

Hmm, a new Thanksgiving tradition? Mini empanadas seem like a great idea, all of a sudden. So do bacon-wrapped dates. And phyllo-wrapped spinach triagles. And tamales. Yum.

There's something about pot pie on a cold day. So warm, so creamy, so filling. This one is lobster, but chicken is great, too. Also seen here: smoked salmon trio (scotch-cured, Maine sea spice and lemon-and-dill) and maple-smoked salmon fillet.

Beef. It's what's for dinner. Will you have filet mignon? Strip steaks? Rib roast? Or some dry-aged beef? Everything looks juicy and divine.

Some families always have turkey; my people are prone to ham. We like it soaked in bourbon and smothered in pecans, but both of these look okay. Let's just skip to dessert.

The "bûche de Nöel" is a cake that looks like a log. This one is chocolate genoise cake "rolled with a light, fluffy layer of chocolate ganache and rerobed in chocolate truffle buttercream cleverly sculpted to replicate bark." And those mushrooms are made of meringue. Some people love tiramisu; I think I'd opt for the peppermint gelato truffles down below. They're described as "silky-smooth," and now my mouth is watering.

Peppermint bark! It's official, the holidays have begun.

You can't actually buy this adorable igloo cake — Williams-Sonoma just sells the mold — but it's so cute!

Even better: Red velvet cake. Or cupcakes. Get your own.

Then there's 12-layer chocolate cake, coconut lemon layer cake and five layer mousse cake. Ever feel like you want to live inside of a cake?

You can try and live inside of this gingerbread manor, if you like. A recession bargain at $250. Oh, but here's a tip for the folks at Williams-Sonoma: Why not call your gingerbread cookies "kids" instead of "boys"? Especially when one is named Samantha?

Anyway, if the manor is a little high-end for your taste, downsize to a little gingerbread shack.

Williams-Sonoma [Official Site]

Earlier: The Naked Chef: Pfaelzer Brothers Peddle Hot Food Porn

Look at that thick, juicy meat. Straining with hot fluids. Once you get it in your mouth, you know it's going to burst, letting warm red liquid stream down your throat.


Some like to see the pink inside, do you?


Or are you one of those bad, naughty types, who likes it raw?


Maybe you like it freaky? Brown on pink. Two on two… or more?


Get a good look at this pink, wet, glistening flesh. You know you want it.


Insert your fingers into the folds. You'll find it tender and dripping.


Who can resist a heaving, moistened breast?


Go ahead, lick the gooey sweetness. It's yearning to be inside you.



Warm fluid oozes out, just for you.


You'll get your just desserts. Just put your tongue in the crease.




Pfaelzer Brothers [Official Site]