[Miami, October 14. Image via Splash.]

• Michael Lohan says Jon Gosselin is trying to get out of his TLC contract to appear on his new show Divorced Dads Club and hinted that a few famous former sports stars/single dads may be joining them.

• Lohan says of Jon's relationship with TLC, "There's bad blood there. If your show was making the network $130 something million and they paid you the pittance they paid you and restricted you from doing so many different things, how would you feel?" adding that the producers of Divorced Dads Club are, "reaching out to Dennis Rodman. I know Jose Canseco has already said yes, he wants to be part of the show that bad. There are even some divorced celebrities who are not dads who want to do the show." [Radar Online]
• In Croatia Jay-Z and Beyonce were having dinner by the ocean when their body guard started fighting with a paparazzo. The photographer threw his tripod at the body guard, so he threw it in the ocean. There's video: [TMZ]
• Dr. Conrad Murray will be arrested for the death of Michael Jackson and charged with manslaughter in the next two weeks according to a law enforcement source. MJ's dermatologist Dr. Arnold Klein will also be arrested and charged with medical malpractice. [Fox News]
• The doctor who performed the in vitro fertilization procedure in Celine Dion that resulted in her second pregnancy says he implanted an embryo that had been kept frozen in liquid nitrogen for the past eight years. The embryo was frozen while she was going through IVF to conceive her first child René-Charles in 2001. [People]
• A friend of Samantha Burke says she met Jude Law in a New York club. "He was sick, so she kept going to his hotel over the course of a week to take care of him." But Jude wasn't all that grateful. "Jude didn't even remember her. She hasn't seen him since New York. They've only been in contact through their lawyers," says the friend, who added that she thinks Samantha's crazy to keep the baby and that she may be looking for money because "her family doesn't have any money." [E!]
• A "family friend" says Chaz Bono is planning to conceive a child with his fiance Jennifer Elia after his gender reassignment surgery is complete and Cher has volunteered to help them find a sperm donor. "Cher doesn't care if the baby is a boy or girl, but she's insisting on a donor with intelligence, creativity and good looks," says the source. [National Enquirer]
• Sheryl Crow sold her music catalogue to fund affiliated with an Australian bank. She'll get a smaller cut of the royalties, but the group will promote her copyrighted material to movie houses and advertisers. [WSJ]
• A source says Jason Trawick hasn't broken up with Britney Spears. "Things are fine – they still maintain a great working relationship and he's in her life as a great friend as he's always been," said the source, "Things are casual … Britney really listens to what he has to say. He's been with her a long time, he gets along with the family. He has her best interests at heart, and he cares about her." [People]
• The LAPD has issued a statement saying someone gave them the nude Eric Dane/Rebecca Gayheart tape that "could link celebrities engaging in illegal activity... The LAPD was in the process of reviewing the voluminous files contained on the DVD when the story was leaked to the media. No determination has been made as to whether or not the DVD contained any information that could be used for a criminal investigation. Some of the information contained on the DVD included archived articles and photographs of porn stars and formally convicted madams, which could readily be found over the Internet." [Extra]
• Brad Pitt's former Thelma & Louise co-star Michael Madsen said, "Everybody's had enough of Brad Pitt. I've seen enough of him for a lifetime." It's possible he's mad at Brad for not getting him a role in The Assasination of Jesse James. [TMZ]
• Ugh, "internet personality" Justin Ross Lee, who previously shared pictures of Ashley Olsen he took on a flight sold video of Brad Pitt, who happened to wind up on another flight with him. [Star]
• Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper "get along really well and just kinda click," said a source, "Bradley likes the speed of everything. He likes that Reneé is low-key." [People]
• Renee Zellweger wore Carolina Herrera to the premiere of her movie My One And Only but Mark Randall, who plays her son, wore jeans with ripped knees and five year old Converse sneakers. "I decided to dress up a little tonight," he said. [N.Y. Observer]
• A group of Bulgarian Orthodox priests have asked Madonna to reschedule a concert scheduled for August 29 because it falls on St. John the Baptist day, when followers are supposed to refrain from "secular pleasures and merrymaking". [UPI]
• "I don't have a girlfriend," says Robert Pattinson, "I don't know why... You always think you're going to get more girls after you've made a movie and it never happens. You sit there and you're like, 'I'm a big movie star and I want to go out with some models,' but I don't know why that doesn't happen." [People]
• A friend says that Jasmine Flore, whose body was found in a suitcase and thrown in a dumpster over the weekend, had told her husband Ryan Alexander Jenkins of Megan Wants A Millionaire, that their relationship was over and was supposed to go to Las Vegas to reunite with an ex on the day her body was found. [TMZ]
• The ex, Robert Hasman, says he received a text from Jasmine Flore saying she was coming to see him, then another that said "suck it." Police suspect Ryan Jenkins may have seen the first message on his wife's phone and written the second. Jenkins reported Flore missing on Saturday night and is now MIA. [TMZ]
• Ryan Jenkins has a criminal record for assaulting a girlfriend in 2005. He was ordered to get treatment for sex addiction and domestic violence and serve 15 months probation. [TMZ]
• American Idol producers want Faith Hill to be a celebrity judge next season. [Radar Online]
• When Leighton Meester came to the studio to perform the vocals on Cobra Starship's "Good Girls Go Bad," "She like, turned the lights down low in the studio and lit a few candles to set the mood," says bassist Alex Suarez. "I've never seen candles in the studio before... So she's like, 'You make me want to lose control,' alone in the dark surrounded by vanilla and lavender, clenching her fist, just really feeling it." [People]
• Julianne Moore is selling her New York townhouse for $12 million and you can check out shots of her living room, kitchen, and bathroom here: [Fashion Week Daily]
• Jason Schwartzman married clothing designer Brady Cunningham on July 11 in the San Fernando Valley. "It was a very small ceremony with many family members and close friends," said his rep. [People]
• If you can't wait to hear the song Heidi Montag will perform at the Miss Universe pageant later this month, you can check it out at the link. Heidi says, "I am so excited to perform ... at Miss Universe for my first ever live performance... This is such a miracle in life and I give thanks to God everyday for this once in a lifetime opportunity." [People]
• Three women displaced by Hurricane Katrina have been charged with collecting rental assistance from FEMA after Oprah Winfrey helped them buy new homes through her Angel Network. [Reuters]
• George Lopez's family members are mad at him because he buried his grandma without telling them. "George buried our grandma and didn't tell any of us about it," said his sister Linda Sierra. "He didn't let any of us know — George's sisters, nephews and nieces are all heartbroken." [Radar Online]
• Philadelphia native Bill Cosby appeared at a news conference today with Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell to criticize Senate Republicans' plan to provide less money for schools than the Democratic governor has proposed. [AP]
• Possible Mad Men spoiler: Orestes Arcuni, who played the bell hop on Monday's episode, says, "The kissing and sex stuff is so technical that it only resembles something romantic when spliced and edited together. It took about four hours and about ten different camera set ups to shoot. The actors are not having a romantic experience, that's hopefully the result of good editing, a good story, and ultimately what the audience brings along with them to the viewing experience." [Gothamist]
• Katey Sagal, who is starring in the FX drama Sons of Anarchy says of there being more roles for actresses "of a certain age," "I don't know why it's changed, but I'm really grateful it has. Maybe it has to do with the fact that we're all living longer and suddenly it's okay to get older. Maybe there's a broader audience for these characters. The stories you can tell about older women are deeper. Plus, cable has opened up enormous possibilities. In feature films, you're still lucky if you're not the girlfriend or the wife. But I just read yesterday that Dianne Keaton is going to be on television now, she's doing a series with HBO, so TV is where our stories are being told." [CNN]

• Rihanna's May 28 concert in the Middle East, the first since the Chris Brown assault, has been cancelled. The promoter says, "it is not appropriate timing for her." [Neon Limelight]

• Ciara's new album Fantasy Ride, which comes out tomorrow, includes a duet with Chris Brown. "Honestly, with that record, it's just more about the music for me," said Ciara. "I wanted to focus on the music and leave it at that, because it's a record that I've had for a while, I love the way it sounds and it's one of my most favorite records on the album. And if I alter it, it's not gonna sound the same." [Rolling Stone]
• A Malawi court has adjourned Madonna's adoption appeal case indefinitely. [Reuters]
• In an interview on CBS's Early Show, 15-year-old James Kambewa spoke out again against Madonna adopting his 3-year-old daughter, Mercy James, who he has never met. "I want to take care of her and I'm capable to take care of my baby," he said. "Mercy, she is a Malawian-so [I] need her to grow as a Malawian, as well with our culture." [E!]
• Here's a higher quality video of the fan who rushed on stage during a Britney Spears concert. Supposedly you can "see the fear in her face." [Perez Hilton]
• In this video chat, Pink says of the incident this weekend in which she denied that she is bisexual, that she marched against prop 8 and has spoken out on gay rights, so "if I were gay, do you really think I would have a problem coming out? There's nothing wrong with being gay. There's nothing wrong with being bisexual. I would be waving my fucking flag all over the place, but it's not my truth." [Perez Hilton]
• In this video from Beyonce's concert in Rotterdam the lights don't go on at the right time and she sings, "somebody's getting fired." [Perez Hilton]
• Roman Polanski's lawyer told a judge that the director won't appear at a hearing this week to seek dismissal of the sexual assault case against him, and argued that Polanski's presence is unnecessary. [AP]
• In a story that gives some disturbing insight into the U.S. legal system, the Supreme Court has ordered a federal appeals court to consider reinstating a $550,000 fine that the FCC imposed on CBS over Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction at the 2004 Super Bowl. The case had been put off while courts dealt with the FCC's policy on "fleeting" cursing. [L.A. Times]
• Days after being hospitalized for "dehydration," Amy Winehouse was spotted frolicking on the beach with a mystery man at her resort in St Lucia. You can check him out here: [The Daily Mail]
• George Clooney will testify against two former waitresses who say Rande Gerber sexually harassed them. Clooney, who was an eyewitness, will take a lie detector test to back up his claim that the allegations are false. [TMZ]
• Two bystanders were harmed during the filming of a Nicolas Cage movie in Times Square when a car skidded and knocked over a lamp post. Their injuries are not life threatening. [TMZ]
• One of Jamie Foxx's friends, who is not identified, said of Foxx insulting Miley Cyrus, "He almost lost it completely on The Soloist, so it's little wonder he went nuts on Miley like that. I mean, people just don't know how close to the edge he really was." [E!]
• Robert Duvall is campaigning to stop the construction of a Wal-Mart Supercenter near a Virginia Civil War battlefield where Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee first fought Ulysses S. Grant. Duvall is a descendant of Lee. [AP]
• Nadya Suleman, mother of octuplets, is being sued, but lawyer Gloria Allred won't reveal her client's identity. She says it's, "an attempt to protect Nadya Suleman's children." [TMZ]
• Dennis Rodman has agreed to go enter an outpatient rehab program, after his friends and family staged an intervention to get him to go to an inpatient facility. "Yes, they tried an intervention, but unfortunately Dennis refused to go," says Rodman's rep. "We all know how amazing he is when sober, and we hope he gets there soon." [E!]
• Jennifer Hudson is taking a break from her national tour this week so that doctors can treat a throat condition related to her singing. [E!]
• Twilight and Slumdog Millionaire lead the MTV Movie Award nominations. The show will air on May 31. [People]
• Here's a video of P. Diddy and Russell Brand hanging out in Las Vegas. [RussellBrand.tv]
• Russell Brand was dining with P. Diddy at Tao in Las Vegas, as was Holly Madison. "Russell and Holly were flirting with each other all night," a source says. [E!]
• Later this month Paula Abdul will release a new single titled, "Here For The Music." [L.A. Times]
• Jessica Alba says her 11 month old daughter Honor Marie is "getting new teeth every day," and "doesn't walk, but she's crawling around and pulling herself up," and is always "covered in lots of drool." [People]
• Katie Wright, who is expecting her first child with boyfriend Hank Azaria, says the baby is "going to come out already knowing all the voices," of The Simpsons characters his dad voices. [People]
• Natascha McElhone of Californication says she almost lost her home after her husband died suddenly at 43 without a will, a day after the their 10th wedding anniversary when she was pregnant with their third child. She says, "We thought he'd be the cash-flow guy, and I'd be the investor in our little team. So it was unbelievably stressful and that's why I'm so amazed that my pregnancy was fine, and nothing went wrong." [The Telegraph]
• At a benefit for the Padres Contra El Cáncer and Childrens Hospital Los Angeles, Eva Longoria said being around the kids makes her think about adopting. "They're resilient and they're hopeful and they're happy. They're amazing human beings, and to go through something like that and yet still be as strong as they [are], it really inspires me. I could only wish to have children as strong as the kids I've worked with," she said. [E!]
• Trent Reznor is engaged to Mariqueen Maandig of the band West Indian Girl. [MTV]
• Eminem says he's recovered from a drug addiction that ws so bad he was taking as many as 20 Vicodin, Ambien, and Valium a day. "The numbers got so high, I don't even know what I was taking," said Eminem. He nearly overdosed on pills a friend gave him that turned out to be methadone. "My doctor told me the amount of methadone I'd taken was equivalent to shooting up four bags of heroin," Eminem said, noting that had he known, "I probably wouldn't have taken it. But as bad as I was back then, I can't even say 100 percent for sure." [People]
• Marie Osmond, says that after she lost 45 pounds, in 2007 her 19-year-old daughter, Rachael, "went into my closet and threw everything away and said, 'I'm dressing you now because you are hot, and then I can borrow your clothes,'" Osmond says. "She said: 'No more long jackets, no more full skirts. You don't need to hide anything now. You just need to hide your credit card from me.' " [USA Today]
• Alexis Bledel says she is interested in doing a film in Spanish, her native language. She says, "Spanish is my first language-but since I don't look stereotypically Hispanic, it's hard to get cast in those sorts of Spanish-language films. I mean, if someone is making a film about a social issue that affects Mexican factory workers, I don't want to barge in and suggest that I should star in it. I don't want anyone to sacrifice the integrity of their story, in other words. But I'd love to do a film in Spanish. [Wall Street Journal]
• Tom Hanks said of Julia Roberts liberally using the F-word at a ceremony honoring him at Lincoln Center. Hanks said, "She laid into me, and then everybody else started doing the same thing. She is so much of a template, that lady! Everybody loves [Julia], and she decided to get right to the point and cut loose and turn the evening into what it was really meant to be because how much can you hear about 'nice guy' and 'quality work'?" [E!]
• When asked about her plus-size co-star on her new show Drop Dead Diva Margaret Cho said, "I don't think of her as plus-size. I just think of her as beautiful. I think people are going to fall in love with Brooke and the character Jane and realize that beauty comes in all sizes. That's something we are trying to promote with the show. The idea of being plus-size is somewhat ridiculous, because most women are. I mean, I am, and most women are." [CNN]
• "Probably the sexiest woman I know is my mother. She's an ethereal angel. Nobody looks like that woman. If I could meet my mother and marry her, I would. I would be with my mother now, if she weren't my mother, as sick as that sounds." - Shia LaBeouf. [Star]

• Oh, yikes. According to Stephanie Pratt her brand new sister-in-law, Heidi Montag wants "four boys, four Spencer Pratts!" Creepy flesh colored beard enthusiasts across the country are no doubt celebrating this slightly terrifying news. [USWeekly]

• Despite negative reviews, Wolverine topped the box office with 34 million dollars on Friday. [E!]
• Actress Missi Pyle recently wed naturalist Casey Anderson, and the best man was Brutus, an 800 pound Grizzly bear that Anderson has raised from birth. Wonder where they got the tux rental? [DailyExpress]
• "I'm quite honestly getting seriously fed up with being falsely connected with several men on Page Six: Josh Hartnett, Heath Ledger, and now it is insinuated (we all know what 'befriended' means on these pages!) that Sean Penn is another. There has never been any intimacy between myself and any of these men, and I want this cleared once and for all."-Helena Christensen [PageSix]
• Mine That Bird a 50-1 shot, emerged victorious at the Kentucky Derby yesterday. [NBCSports]
• Christina Applegate has been selected as People's Most Beautiful Person of 2009. [ONTD]
• "I'm definitely not paying attention to my pregnancy. That won't be true for the child [when it arrives]. But now, when you have two kids running around you're not the pregnant person you were before." -Elisabeth Hasselbeck [People]
• Comedian Robert Schimmel has been arrested on suspicion of beating his wife. [NYTimes]
• Nicole Richie has blogged about the girl group she was in when she was 13 or so. "Our name? get ready… CAUTION!," she writes, "And I even remember part of our rap. I'm getting chills of embarrassment even typing this. The rap lyrics I remember were: Caution! Walking down the street.You better watch out, and step to the beatPlaying our music from town to town Rockin' and Rollin' were [sic] gonna get down!"[JustJared]
• "It was a town of hair metal and we hated it. Girls were supposed to be sexy whores in white pants - they weren't allowed to rock. We played in bars and ignored what people said. After all, we knew that the people who thought they were badass didn't rock at all!"-Kim Deal [Guardian]
• Hugh Jackman is desperate to bring a Carousel film to the screen, and hopes to get Anne Hathaway to join him. "I've been looking to do a musical film for some time and after things like Moulin Rouge!, Chicago and Hairspray, I think there's a real opportunity there," Jackman says, "I've been filling up [Hathaway's] answering machine with messages about Carousel." [DailyExpress]
• Halle Berry, who has apparently forgotten the mess that was Catwoman, says she'd be interested in an X-Men spinoff featuring her character, Storm. "I think that would be great," Berry says, "Storm deserves her own movie - if I can still fit into the suit."[JustJared]
• "I'm in AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) now, too. I've had drinks, but it has been a levelling-out process. Am I an alcoholic? I may not be. I don't know. But I also know that, in the situation I'm in, with temptations what they are, I have no room for alcohol in my life."- Shia LeBeouf, keepin' it anonymous. [DailyExpress]
• Madonna and Demi Moore have reportedly bonded over the fact that they both have "younger lovers." "Demi has been really supportive of Madonna in her relationship with Jesus," says a source, "She knows more than anyone how great it is to date a younger guy and hopes they can make it last." [DailyMail]
• Meanwhile, the biological father of Mercy James, the Malawian girl that Madonna is trying to adopt, says that he wants to raise Mercy in her own culture. "I want to take care of her, and I'm capable of taking care of my baby. Mercy, she is a Malawian, so [I] need her to grow as a Malawian ... with our culture." [People]
• Rihanna is moving on, and has rekindled a teenage romance with Negus Sealy, much to the delight of her loved ones. "The family are delighted about her seeing Negus again," says a source. [ShowbizSpy]
• Dennis Rodman's wife attempted to stage an intervention, but Rodman wasn't interested. "He wouldn't go because he doesn't want to miss the taping of the 'Celebrity Apprentice' reunion," says a source. Rodman's rep replied: "Yes, they tried an intervention but, unfortunately, Dennis refused to go. We all know how amazing he is when sober, and we hope he gets there soon." [PageSix]
• Sting's daughter, Coco Sumner is currently in the intensive care unit after falling outside of a restaurant and fracturing her skull. "‘Coco went flying and landed with a real crash. She really took a tumble.One of the waiters helped her to her feet but she complained that she didn't feel well," says a source, "She hadn't had anything to drink and it happened quite early into the evening." [DailyMail]
• Kate Moss and Jamie Hince are on the rocks again, after Kate discovered that Jamie had "struck up a friendship" with another woman while on tour. [DailyMail]
• Are Victoria and David Beckham getting ready to leave the States for Milan? "Victoria is going off LA and was embarrassed that her designs didn't take off there," says a source, "They did well in the UK and she accepts that Europe is a better market for her." [DailyMail]
• "I would also be just as happy with a new women. I'm not complicated, I sing about love in all its shapes, forms and colors. I speak my mind, I sing about everyday stuff such as homosexuality and sadly the homophobia that always comes with it.Famous female singers tend to moan and whine a lot about being famous. Damn, I'm Pink and my bank account hasn't seen a red zero for a long time, and I can do what I love best-sing. Isn't that something that makes life better?"-Pink [ShowbizSpy]

• If you get an email titled, "Madonna caught swine flu!" don't open it. The only thing that will be infected is your computer. [The Sun]

• The same does not go for Pete Doherty, who was pictured online hugging one of the first UK victims of the swine flu. Though the picture is old, "Pete's friends are worried he may have the deadly illness. He has got himself clean of drugs, the last thing he needs is this," says a source. [ONTD]
• Not even the swine flu can stop Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, who are honeymooning in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. [People]
• Heidi Montag says, "every second we're washing our hands," and Spencer Pratt says they are "wearing face masks everywhere we go. We're in isolation, we're in full hiding." Sounds romantic! [People]
• Oh no. Heidi Montag's wedding gift to Spencer Pratt was a new song called "Sex Ed." Listen here, if you must: [Perez Hilton]
• Sarah Jessica Parker is reportedly expecting twin girls via a surrogate. Reports EW: "They had a lot of unsuccessful tries," says the friend. "They came to the conclusion that this was going to be the best alternative for expanding their family." The couple turned to a surrogate  whose name and place of residence have not been disclosed  last year. "They're over the moon and excited as any prospective parents would be," says the friend. "Their life is about to get a lot busier." [EW]
• Madonna's rep is denying that she asked her designer friends to hire Jesus Luz to keep him in the U.S., saying, "Madonna has not been involved with any bookings Jesus has gotten. They were arranged through his agents." [The Daily Express]
• Ricky Schroeder won a Malibu small claims court case against a woman who accused him of conspiring with her ex to steal thousands of dollars in tools. While he was leaving the court house in victory, he was pulled over by the police for talking on his cell phone. [TMZ]
• A guy grabbed Paris Hilton's boobs in a Hollywood club. Her boyfriend, Doug Reinhardt, got into a fist fight with the boob grabber. The DJ thought it would be funny to play her song "Stars Are Blind" and Paris danced about during the fight. [Perez Hilton]
• In light of Hulk Hogan's pro-O.J. Simpson comments, Linda Hogan has filed papers claiming she needs another $8,200 a month in support payments so she can move "thousands of miles away" from him because she feels she's in "imminent danger of becoming a victim." [TMZ]
• There should be a decision soon in Britney Spears' attempt to extend her restraining order against Sam Lutfi and Jon Eardley. During today's hearing her lawyer called both men "cowards" for not showing up for cross-examination. [TMZ]
• Paul McCartney sent Pamela Anderson a two-page "letter regarding livestock and greenhouse gases" calling on Pam to help spread the word about vegetarianism. You can read the letter at the link. [The Sun]
• Ricki Lake says childbirth helped her overcome her issues related to being sexually abused when she was about six or seven. "I was able to look at my body and see what it was able to do and embrace it," says Lake. "Sort of let go of all the body image issues." [People]
• A spokesmen for the Miss California pageant is denying Carrie Prejean's claim that pageant officials told her to apologize for her statement opposing same-sex marriage during the Miss USA pageant when giving TV interviews. The spokesmen added, "Given the fact that Carrie Prejean's first act upon returning to California was to headline five services at a church that promotes homosexuality as both unnatural and abnormal, we stand by our concern for her individual image and look forward to a time in the near future when she can put down her personal agenda" and resume her responsibilities as Miss California. [Sacramento Bee]
• A Las Vegas judge has ordered Dennis Rodman to pay a former waitress $225,000 for slapping her butt, grabbing her, and forcing her to dance with him at a Vegas bar in 2006. [TMZ]
• Hugh Jackman says he considered quitting the X-Men movies because "It felt like Wolverine had got a little soft by X-Men 3 and I wanted to take it back to that bad ass quality. He's tough, he's gruff, he's not politically correct - he doesn't say the right things." He adds, "He's a flawed character. That's what I like about it, that's why I'm doing it for the fourth time or else I wouldn't." [The Daily Express]
• Avril Lavigne has been selected to be the Canadian Ambassador for 2010 World Expo in Shanghai, China. Lavigne, who is popular is Asia and has performed parts of her songs in Mandarin, blogged, "I've played two shows in Shanghai. It's a great city and I look forward to visiting again next year." [The Daily Express]
• Ugly Betty's Ana Ortiz, who is pregnant with her first child, said, "Before I found out I was having a girl I dreamt that I was having a girl, I even dreamt what her name was, so I guess that name should be her real name." As for the name, she joked, "It's going to be Watermelon." [People]
• Selena Gomez and Taylor Lautner are dating. They had dinner this weekend in Vancouver, where they are both filming movies. [People]
• Peter Facinelli, who plays Twilight's father figure Dr. Carlisle Cullen, says, "I love night shoots. Everybody else is [tired] by like two, three in the morning, which is weird because I'm the old guy!" [People]
• Here's Katy Perry's new video for "Waking Up In Vegas": [Perez HIlton]
• Russell Brand will star in a remake of Drop Dead Fred. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Last night James Lipton sat down with Family Guy creator Seth McFarlane for the next season of Inside the Actor's Studio. Lipton said he's a fan of the show because, "Well, inevitably, I'm attracted to anybody who likes stage musicals, having written two myself. What really has always drawn me to Family Guy is its irreverence, its cutting edge, its willingness to take chances. And I like risk. My two sports, show jumping and flying airplanes, in either case, the cost of a mistake can be rather large. So risk has been the nature of my life, I think. That's what I like about their show." [NY Times]
• Jessica Alba celebrated her 28th birthday on Sunday with an '80s party at her home with 50 friends, including Sarah Silverman and Rosario Dawson. [People]
• Here's the cover of Vibe's "Real Rap" issue, featuring Eminem: [The Life Files]
• Though the media has been claiming Mel Gibson is worth $900,000,000, he says he actually has no idea how much money he has. His divorce lawyers and accountants are trying to figure it out. [TMZ]
• When Eric Bana first arrived in America in the early 1990s he went on a road trip, but ran out of money and started living out of his car. One time he tried to take a shower in a gas station bathroom and got arrested. He says, "I slept in the car a lot. I wanted to experience everything the county had to offer... I got done (arrested) for taking a shower in the gas station. I just got under it (the facet) and turned it on. I was not naked. I had my jocks (underwear) on. I was able to wash my hair."[Contact Music]
• Andy Roddick writes on his blog that having Elton John play at his recent wedding "was very, very surreal," adding, "It was beyond awesome of him to make time for us and needless to say it was beyond amazing." [People]
• Jennifer Garner says it's hard to be a mom to two young children while she's on set. She says: "[I] feel like half my brain is somewhere else all the time, but when the camera's rolling, I pull it together and focus for two minutes," she says, "and then I kind of turn back to a ditz again. I have a split personality." [People]
• OMG! Gossip Girl's ratings are down 26% from last year. However, it had already been renewed for a third season, so it's not in immediate danger. [Perez Hilton]
• In a lengthy and mostly boring interview, Ed Westwick discusses his tattoos. "I've got '21 Grams,' 'Love Me Two Times,' the song by The Doors. I have 'I Heart Romance' on my forearm and 'You Make Me Feel Like the One' across my shoulder," says Westwick, adding that he got his "I Heart Romance," tattoo because, "I saw it in a bathroom stall in a bar in Brooklyn. I thought it was cool, so I got it." [Interview]
• Last night Tom Hanks was presented with the Chaplin Award at the Film Society of Lincoln Center Gala Tribute. For her tribute, Julia Robert's said, "It's late, and I'm paying my babysitter overtime, and I have to pee," telling Hanks, "So, everybody fucking likes you." She added, "That movie about you and the airport and the accent was a pass for me. Airport? Were you just an immigrant lost? I didn't know. I love you, but I didn't know … and I'm wearing the same fucking dress tonight as your publicist." [People]

• Being on vacation with Amy Winehouse must be relentlessly entertaining:

She was apparently told she couldn't sunbathe au naturale, so she whipped off her bikini top and streaked through the resort in St. Lucia, waving her arms in the air. She told you she was trouble! [Daily Mail]

• The family of Mercy James, the Malawian child Madonna would like to adopt, are on Madonna's side. Mercy's uncle says the guy who claims to be Mercy's biological dad "didn't care about his girlfriend, Mercy's mother, when she needed him most. He didn't even come to see his baby." [The Sun]
• Madonna was overheard telling people: I can't believe I'm leaving my beautiful baby behind. It's not right. I love that baby girl. She's my little girl - she needs to be with me." A judge disagrees, your Madgesty! [MSNBC]
• Chris Brown was in court yesterday, and he pleaded not guilty to two felony counts. His next court date is a preliminary hearing on April 29. [Rolling Stone]
• Some are "surprised" that Chris Brown pleaded not guilty? Really? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Rihanna was not in court, but her lawyer was, and he said her feelings about the case are that she would be happy if "it were over quickly." [TMZ]
• The latest on Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson, according to LL: "We are taking a brief break so I can focus on myself." But, uh, she banned you from her party and changed the locks, right? [E!]
• Sam Ronson's family is hoping that Sam will not get back together with Lindsay. Ouch! [People]
• Courtney Love is about to sue a whole mess of people: She finally realized that whomever had been handling Kurt Cobain's estate lost millions of dollars. It's not her fault she didn't look into this sooner, she was high, okay? [Page Six]
• Cops in Costa Rica are investigating the security team hired by Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen since they, you know, open fired on photographers, which doesn't seem very legal. [NY Post]
• Gisele wore Galliano, by the by. [People]
• Howard K. Stern will not cut a deal with the D.A. in the Anna Nicole Smith drug case and is expected to plead not guilty. He'll be in court today. [TMZ]
• Do what you must to prepare yourself: Britney Spears might take her Circus tour to Australia. [E!]
• Of the items being moved out of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin's London home, the mattress is not surprising; the dinosaur, the large horse and surfboard are. Gwynnie's moving to NYC; Chris is going on tour. [Daily Mail]
• Speaking of Chris Martin, Coldplay is denying that it copied Joe Satriani's music for "Viva La Vida." [Breitbart]
• Oh dear: Scarlett Johansson has reportedly been working out with Gwyneth's trainer, Tracy Anderson. She's already lost 14 pounds and now she's off carbs. Is she prepping for Iron Man 2 or just joining the brigade of stick thin stars? [The Sun]
• Did a reporter set up a fake charity and trick Heather Mills into dishing dirt on Paul McCartney? [ABC News]
• Zac Efron's mom stuffed hi stocking with condoms last Christmas and his dad gave him some speech about protection at some point so maybe the point is you won't see Zac as a young baby daddy any day soon. [E!]
• The woman who was saved from committing suicide by Demi Moore and "the Twitter community" says "I'm eternally grateful to her for helping me." [RadarOnline]
• Why aren't people donating to Prince Harry's African charity? Donations have dropped a whopping 84%. [Telegraph]
• Jennifer Garner will star in Butter, a flick that's a political satire set in the small-town world of competitive butter-sculpting. Yeah. Butter. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Ru-roh: Pamela Anderson's boyfriend was in a kite-surfing accident in Hawaii. Luckily, he escaped serious injury and didn't need C.J. to run into the water with a red floaty thing. [Daily Express]
• Kylie Minogue took her new man to meet her parents and they found him to be "charming and witty." Good sign. [Daily Express]
• Buddhist and friend of the Dalai Lama Richard Gere attended a "Mind and Life" conference in Dharamsala, India on Monday. [Hindustan Times]
• Dennis Rodman was thrown out of a West Hollywood hotel after "slapping and groping" female guests. He needs to learn how to ask nicely when he wants to borrow a dress. [TMZ]
• The Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation received a gift from the estate of the late Luther Vandross; the amount of the gift was not disclosed. [UPI]
• Blind item! "Which Grammy-winning rapper can't get enough weed? She orders from a NYC delivery service non-stop, then tries to sweet-talk the courier into giving her free bags of ganja." [Gatecrasher]
• "He's certainly not the buffoon he looks like. This is the most amazing thing I found out about him. I was once staying at a hotel, and I was in the room directly under his. He is an amazing fuck  and you can quote me on this. The screams coming from the woman were some of the purest sounds of pleasure I'd ever heard."  Rupert Everett on Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter. [Page Six via The Daily Beast]
• "Casey grew up in one of the richest families in New York, and she grew up without any responsibilities or any boundaries. And so, for her, it was very important to do something where there were laws and where your morals counted. I was very much into the idea of doing something I hadn't done before. This is a show about cops. Our show is very grounded in the sense of the crappy things that happen to you are funny. That's how you deal with them and get through life."  Amber Tamblyn, on her character in new show The Unusuals. [USA Today]
• "I don't know Ethan Hawke. Ethan Hawke wanted to do some kind of superficial Rolling Stone article. And he did everything he could to make his story the greatest story ever in Rolling Stone. And it was a fictitious (expletive) lie. O.K? He didn't even call me by my name. ... He called Norah Jones, Ray Charles, everybody else by name. Willie (Nelson), Kris (Kristofferson). Why didn't he call my name? Why didn't he say Toby Keith walked through and said this (expletive)? Right? You know why. You know why. You know as good as anybody why. He didn't want to (expletive) deal with the aftermath."  Toby Keith. [Yahoo News via AP]
• "The pilot script showed up, and I stalked [producer Alan Ball] until he said yes. The morning I showed up for work after going blonde, everyone was very relieved."  Anna Paquin on playing Sookie Stackhouse in True Blood. [Vanity Fair]
• "We were on the set, and the two firefighters that work here, I overheard them talking about, 'Yeah, you know, if I'd known I could measure from the pubic bone… And they were talking about a cock-measuring contest.' And I go, 'That's going in the show.'"  Denis Leary on Rescue Me. [The Daily Beast]
• "I'm crying for two and a half hours straight. And then you leave the stage door and people are like, 'Can we take your picture?' And I'm thinking, 'I've never looked worse.' I need a lot of eye cream."  Lauren Ambrose, on her role in the play Exit The King. [WWD]
• "Combs have been on the scene ever since humans had hair on his head. which is quite sometime? The date perhaps goes beyond the time of the old stone age. Man being man and not a lion would
  not be content to let his mane run wild and free. So he had to find some ways to tame it. First on the list of combing operations must have been the use of fingers. So in a way the fingers are the first combs of history. Today, combs are universal and no corner of the globe is without it."  Your friend Kanye West. [Jossip]

But that's not the only senior moment Joan had. In a bit about gold-digging wives, she referred to Heather Mills as Linda McCartney. Then, when she was talking about how glad she is that Barack Obama's kids are attractive, saying that they're such an improvement over Chelsea Clinton, whose name she couldn't remember at all, so she referred to her as "the Clinton thing."

Later, when discussing Madonna's divorce and alleging that Madonna is so sad and old, someone from the audience shouted out, "But she still has A-Rod!". Joan looked confused for a moment, and then said, "Well, I was on Celebrity Apprentice with Dennis, he's nothing to look at." She totally thought they were talking about Dennis Rodman, a guy Madonna dated over 15 years ago, before she even had kids.

Joan was still funny, but unless she wants to turn the act into some giant meta joke, she should lay off trying to get yucks about senility.

• Ellen DeGeneres is so psyched about the California Supreme Court ruling regarding gay marriage that she's gonna get hitched to longtime love Portia de Rossi. Woohoo! It would be kind of awesome if they did it on TV. And then danced! [TMZ]
  
• Pregnant Angelina Jolie will be looking "sexy" on the July cover of Vanity Fair; she was shot by Patrick Demarchelier. Wonder if he'll have her Photoshopped? [Page Six]
  
• Click here if you need info on Angelina's tattoos. [Sydney Morning Herald]
  
• Angelina will probably give birth in France, FYI. [USA Today]
  
• Angelina's dad Jon Voight is all riled up over Israel: "God gave this land to the Jewish people; they shouldn't be giving it away," he says. But, um, Voight is not Jewish. [Mirror]
  
• "If I punched every bitch who called me fat, it would be dead bitches all up and down the highway."  Star Jones. [Page Six]

• Just two weeks after marrying Mariah Carey, Nick Cannon is driving a new car: the $120,000 Maserati Quattroporte. Did Drumline profits pay for it? [TMZ]
• Ali Lohan swears that even though sister Lindsay hangs with Sam Ronson, she is not a lezebel. "They're best friends. They're just friends. It's pathetic what people say," Ali claims. [Perez Hilton]
• Here's a book for your Amazon wish list: Hollywood Babylon: It's Back has full-frontal nudes of stars like Mick Jagger, Daniel Radcliffe, Ewan McGregor, John Malkovich, James Woods and Richard Gere. Plus! Stories about the size of other actors; Johnny Depp was known as "donkey dick" and an art student who sketched Sean Connery years ago swears, "It was the biggest I've ever seen. It made me drop my charcoal pencil." [Rush & Molloy]
• As previously reported, Britney Spears and Mel Gibson are on vacay together in Costa Rica. Also along for the adventure are Brit's dad Jamie and Mel's wife Robin, as well as some "unidentified youngsters." Apocalypto! [E!]
• An L.A. band says there's a Miley Cyrus song that sounds suspiciously like one of theirs. Miley's rep says, "She doesn't write the songs - she sings them. We have referred this to Disney." Ah, well, okay then. [Page Six]
• Hulk Hogan has written letters to the court trying to get his son Nick a softer sentence; Hulk says Nick isn't the wild kid people see on TV because their reality show "is scripted." [TMZ]
• American Idol alum Taylor Hicks will join the cast of Grease on Broadway. [ET]
• Duran Duran are in the news! They rerouted their world tour to perform for Deutsche Bank staffers; then the show got canceled. Now they're hungry like the wolf. Don't say a prayer for them now, save it til the morning after. [Mirror]
• Sheryl Crow has a new boyfriend; he's a restauranteur and pilot from Alabama. He can fly home the bacon and fry it up in a pan. [MSNBC]
• Movie-industry private investigator Anthony Pellicano has been found guilty of conspiracy after wiretapping and harassing a string of celebrities, including Garry Shandling, Kevin Nealon, Sylvester Stallone and Keith Carradine. [Portfolio]
• Rapper DMX has pleaded not guilty to felony drug possession and misdemeanor animal cruelty charges. [Yahoo News]
• Jury selection is complete in the trial of R. Kelly! Maybe the trial will finally begin? [Mirror]
• Ryan Kavanaugh, the executive producer of 21, smitten with Natalie Portman? What will Devendra Banhart say? [Page Six]
• Kanye West performed with four topless dancers wearing space helmets and made $1 million. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which TV legend likes to play dirty in the bedroom? The larger-than-life fella ties up his conquests with bathrobes - and takes breaks from "satisfying" the girls only to snort piles of coke." [Rush & Molloy]
• Lil' Kim won $500,000 in a lawsuit against a former fellow Junior M.A.F.I.A. member. That kind of cash will get her some nice fingernails. [Vibe]
• Dennis Rodman has been charged with battery and domestic violence after allegedly hitting his girlfriend last month in an L.A. hotel. Rodman is currently in a rehab facility, but he told TMZ "I've never hit anyone." [TMZ]
• Kelly Osbourne has a new boyfriend named Luke. [Mirror]
• "The handbags alone were heavenly. I'm a handbag girl, so I was just salivating. Every time a new purse came into the wardrobe room I'd get so excited. People would walk in with arms full of bags, just trying to decide which one my character should use that day. Just flipping through them, one more beautiful than the next. I was stunned... Next time I will make sure I put a clause into my contract that I get to keep all my purses."  Jennifer Hudson, on the Sex And The City movie. [Mirror]