Tuck it away between McGriddles and that guy whose only dream in life is to be a human maxi pad in the Apocalypse Already Happened, We Just Missed It File: I have seen Patricia "Tan Mom" Krentcil's rap video, and it's AWFUL, but so awful that it's basically the 2013 version of "the Entertainment" from Infinite Jest. As…

After three years of dating, Vampire Diaries' onscreen and real-life couple Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder have broken up. But TV's low-key equivalent of K-Stew and R-Patz will stay civil on the show because — quoth a source — they're "consummate professionals," and "will continue to work together and remain best…

Karma isn't real. Proof: Diddy created Danity Kane (never forget) and now he is being rewarded. He and Kate Upton have apparently been dating since late March, when the 20-year-old joined him in the VIP room of a club in Miami so they could smash their mouths together.

Ahem. Jada Pinkett Smith, one of the premiere Awesome Moms of our time, has something to say. And then she will drop the mic. But first:

"As she sits drinking lavender lemonade,*" Taylor Swift tells Vanity Fair that everyone—including, and especially, other ladies in Hollywood—needs to shut the fuck up about how many penises are/may be in orbit around her:

In this edition of Tweet Beat, Dennis Rodman looks forward to his sit down with Kim Jong Un, Azealia Banks wants to go to weavehab, Jonah Hill needs his mommy and Rebel Wilson cuddles up to Channing Tater Tot.

Jessica Biel is apparently shit-flippingly threatened by the continued close relationship between exes Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz. She wasn't too psyched when they worked together in Bad Teacher, and recently Diaz did an interview in which this happened:

• Natalie Portman's Best Actress trophy at last night's Critic's Choice Movie Awards was Black Swan's only victory of the night, even though it was nominated in 12 different categories. The Facebook movie snuck up from behind, winning three awards.

• Even before Charlotte Lewis raised more questions about Roman Polanski's continued predation after pleading guilty to statutory rape, Michael Douglas said that he wouldn't sign a petition for him because Polanski "did break the law." [Associated Press]

• The police were called to the home of Sandra Bullock and Jesse James yesterday: