• A baby for Jay-Z and Beyoncé!?! Apparently they're working on it. [Gatecrasher]
• Lindsay Lohan was spotted in an alley behind LA's Crow Bar, talking on her cell phone and crying. And, naturally, there are pictures. [Daily Mail]

• Madonna is supposed to go to Brazil to meet Jesus' parents; people are taking this as a sign that an engagement is "in the cards." This paper points out that Madge is 51 and Jesus' mom is 36. Does that happen when Hugh Hefner dates barely legals? No. [The Sun]
• Britney Spears is "extremely upset" by a report in Australia that fans stormed out of her Circus tour because she was lipsyncing. A rep says that she is "embarrassed" to be "part of the Australian media" that has "totally inaccurate reporting" and that the article about hundreds of fans leaving is "the biggest lie." [News.com.au, Reuters]
• John Mayer on the Britney lip-sync scandal: "If you're shocked that Britney was lip-syncing at her concert and want your money back, life may continue to be hard for you." [People]
• BREAKING: Jay-Z is the new Sinatra. Adjust accordingly. [NY Tmes]
• Prince Harry and Chelsy Davy: On! They attended a rugby match together on Saturday. Last month they allegedly had "a rather grown up, intimate dinner" at someplace called Beach Blanket Babylon. [People]
• Levi Johnston and Jon Gosselin posed for pictures together in Times Square over the weekend and yet the planet did not self-destruct. [NY Daily News]
• Hmm: Jon Gosselin is going to Hawaii for the wedding of Phillies outfielder Shane Victorino. [TMZ]
• Just what your Monday needs: A chart detailing how Nicolas Coppola became Nicolas Cage. [New York]
• It certainly looks like Bruce Springsteen's concert put Glenn Close to sleep. Unless she is blinking? [TMZ]
• Cate Blanchett looks regal — and yet unreal —on the December issue of Vogue. [The Life Files]
• Iman, Donna Karan and Agyness Deyn were seen teary at a screening of Precious. [Page Six]
• Gwyneth Palrow joins Nicole Kidman in The Danish Girl, a film adaptation of the David Ebershoff novel that tells the story of a relationship between the first post-operative transsexual, Einar Wegener, and his wife, Greta. It'll be directed by Thomas Alfredson, who shot the sublime Let The Right One In. [Variety]
• Sacha Baron Cohen has created Four By Two films, a production company which will generate comedies starring Sacha Baron Cohen. [Variety]
• Oh lord. There's a film in the works called Sheneneh and Wanda — which would star Jamie Foxx and Martin Lawrence playing their famous female characters. According to this report: "The project originated as a parody of a movie trailer for a film called Skank Robbers, which Foxx and Lawrence made for the BET Awards." Uplifting! [Variety]
• You know how Randy Quaid was arrested for running out on a $10,000 hotel bill? This story, titled "Randy Quaid's Journey From Actor To Alleged Felon," tells you everything you need to know. Apparently Randy exhibited "oddball" behavior back in 2007; his wife Evi called someone a "Nazi bitch" in 2008. [People]
• At the link, six ways Jon Hamm has an impact beyond Mad Men. [NY Daily News]
• Jim Carrey's website is "trippy," and has a "fantastical, psychedelic vibe." It looks like a Dali painting but from someone who likes Canada, hockey and octopi. [NY Daily News]
• Are you interested in seeing Susan Boyle sing on Dancing With The Stars? [NY Daily News]
• Susan Boyle says she is getting back on track, but things were hectic for a while: "My life ceased to be normal when Britain's Got Talent went live… There were phone calls 24 hours a day. They kept me awake for three weeks until I changed my number. It was totally out of control, like a steamroller. It just got bigger and bigger and bigger until, eventually, it can flatten you." [MSNBC Scoop]
• In her new play, Nightingale, Lynn Redgrave takes a look at "the life of Beatrice Kempson, her maternal grandmother, a woman she barely knew and wanted to know better." [AP]
• Dennis Hopper is undergoing an experimental treatment for prostate cancer. "It has great promise," he says. "Everything's good right now." [EW]
• Whee: The Wanda Sykes Show got pretty good ratings! [Variety]
• Michael Jackson's kids helped a dog named Scooby Roo get some wheels. [TMZ]
• Reality show mini series The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty — which focuses on Jackie, Jermaine, Tito and Marlon — airs on A&E December 13. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Joe Jackson is looking for $15,000 a month from Michael Jackson's estate. [Mirror]
• "People want an answer of when we'll be back, and I think it's impossible… It's unfair to say when we'll do Fall Out Boy again. It's hard to be creative. You just feel compressed all the time. We just want to let ourselves decompress." — Pete Wentz, whose band is releasing a greatest hits CD. [ONTD via Music Radar]
• "I come from the slums, I come from a hard background, I come from a poor family, and I was a soldier. And I was a soldier in a war that was a little bit different, so I know what I am talking about, more than most people do. With this script, it was as though someone had been reading my thoughts." — Michael Caine on new "urban western" film Harry Brown. [Telegraph]
• "I'm my own worst critic, and I don't need any more negativity in my life. So I go to my Web site and see good reviews and things that make me feel good." — Carrie Underwood likes visiting her fan site. [UPI]
• "I can't think of a single romantic thing that I've ever done. I would never serenade someone to be romantic – you have to have so much balls to do that. I put a flower in someone's locker when I was 15 years old, this girl called Maria. She thought that it was someone else and the other guy claimed it as well, which is great." — Sparkle Vamp Robert Pattinson is still trying to get the Twihards off his back. Or front. Whatever. [People]
• "I get quite obsessive about things, and possessive as well. I have very, very specific ideas about how I want to do my work and how I want to be perceived, to the point of ridiculousness sometimes. I don't listen to anyone else. That's why I don't have a publicist — I can't stand it if someone's trying to tell me to do something which might be a mistake." — Robert Pattinson. [People]
• "Outside London where I lived, there was no gay pub or bar you could go to. And even if you found one, it was 'Knock three times and ask for Louis.' It was horrible living this secret life. You could feel a little bit what it was like to be a Jew in central Europe during a certain period. It was horrible." — Sir Ian McKellan. [Metro.co.uk]
• "You adore music more than anything in the world, you have a great passion. But that doesn't mean you had to marry the lead singer of every band you ever had a poster of on your bedroom wall." — Patsy Kensit — who has married Dan Donovan of Big Audio Dynamite, Jim Kerr of Simple Minds, Liam Gallagher of Oasis — in a letter to her teenage self. [Daily Express]
• "It would be interesting for people to see that side of me." — 50 Cent would like to be in a romantic comedy. [Gatecrasher]
• "Desperation. I had a sick mom. I wanted to make her feel better. I used to go in there, aged seven or so, and do impressions of praying mantises, weird things, whatever. I'd bounce off the walls and throw myself down the stairs." — Jim Carrey on the origin of his comedic instincts. [Daily Express]
• "It's not just an old person singing covers, no, thank God." — Marianne Faithfull on her new CD. [AP]
• "Every song that you hear on the album has an element of freedom in it. If it's the way that I'm singing, or the style that I'm explaining something. For me, freedom is a big deal — I think for all of us because we're all looking for our wings to fly, to not be held back, to be free to be who we are. So that's another reason why I called it The Element of Freedom." — Alicia Keys. [CNN]
• "I gained three pounds since yesterday. I weigh myself every day. Today I vowed that I was going to wear flats, and then last second, I threw on some heels. I can't wait to sit down already. It's hard carrying extra weight. I'm over the red carpet being pregnant." — Kourtney Kardashian. [NY Daily News]

• Lindsay Lohan is taking legal action against Michael Lohan, who has been talking about kidnapping her and putting her in rehab. Her lawyer says she's seeking a restraining order and may file a defamation lawsuit against him. [TMZ]

• Sales for Chris Brown's comeback tour are pitiful. He used to sell out 20,000 seat arenas, but after tickets went on sale this weekend for 1,000-2,5000 seat venues many are still available. [Perez Hilton]
• At the link is a preview of Chris Brown's MTV interview that airs on Friday (hours before Rihanna's 20/20 interview). Chris says of the assault, "What was I thinking?" [MTV]
• Mariah Carey says she "can't imagine" what Rihanna went through when Chris Brown beat her. "I was very sequestered, as you know, when I first started out and if I were just allowed to be young and with a young boyfriend who's also a star and you know, you're working and you're both — I don't know what goes on," she says. "You know what I mean? So it's like, I wasn't really allowed out of the house, so I can't imagine what she went through." [Us]
• No Doubt is suing the makers of the video game Band Hero because they say they only authorized the use of their likenesses to play three No Doubt songs, but the game has "transformed No Doubt band members into a virtual karaoke circus act" by having them "sing, dance and perform over sixty songs." They're also mad because Gwen Stefani's avatar can sing with a man's voice and perform the song "Honkey Tonk Woman," which has lyrics about sleeping with prostitutes. [TMZ]
• Reps for Josh Duhamel and Fergie deny that he cheated on her saying, "This is not the first nor will it be the last time that a stripper was paid a large amount of money to sell a false story about a celebrity... This story is absolutely ridiculous." [People]
• Britney Spears paid $1.32 million in the past seven months to the lawyers who represented her conservatorship. [TMZ]
• Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are on the cover of Harper's Bazaar (despite him also being on this month's Vanity Fair). Kristen says, "Rob can barely jump rope," and this has inspired her nickname for him. "I call him Flippy because when he does his stunt rehearsals, he flips around," she says, imitating a penguin's walk. "And God, when he tries to run..." She also calls Flippy's singing "heartbreaking." [Us]
• When asked about her romance with Robert Pattinson again, Kristen Stewart told Entertainment Weekly, "I've thought about this a lot... There's no answer that's not going to tip you one way or the other. Think about every hypothetical situation: ‘Okay, we are. We aren't. I'm a lesbian.' I'm just trying to keep something. If people started asking me if I was dating Taylor, I'd be like ‘Fuck off!' I would answer the exact same way." [Entertainment Weekly]
• Sean Penn's 16-year-old son Hopper Jack won't face drug charges following his arrest last week because police have determined the pills he was carrying were actually prescription medication in his name. [Radar Online]
• Though Winona Ryder recently told BlackBook Magazine that she never got a thank you from Angelina Jolie for getting her the role in Girl, Interrupted that launched her career, Angie did thank her — in her Oscar acceptance speech. [L.A.T.]
• The National Enquirer claims Jennifer Lopez is fighting with her ex-husband Ojani Noa, who wants to release 11 hours of home movies that show her fighting with her mother, "playing sexy bedroom games," and staring at her butt in a mirror. [National Enquirer]
• Penny Marshall has been diagnosed with a brain tumor and secretly underwent brain surgery last week. This story is from the National Enquirer, so hopefully it's not true. [National Enquirer]
• Dennis Hopper says he's being treated prostate cancer with "an experimental thing at USC." He said it's "no big deal" and he "feels great." [TMZ]
• Though Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman say they broke up, they went out to a Manhattan bar on Halloween. "Staff were ordered to keep the fake Jons away from him," said a source. "Someone asked to take a picture but he said he wanted to be left alone. Once the crowds were away he and Hailey looked like a normal couple." [Us]
• Jessica Simpson and Dolly Parton are bonding over their big boobs. Dolly Tweeted: "Aahhh chiropractor... Hurts so good :-) you lug these around and see if your back don't hurt!" Jess replied: "Amen sister :)." [CNN]
• Yet another creditor's claim against Michael Jackson's estate: Atkins Thomson Solicitors in London is asking for $209,204.36 for advising MJ on the sale of Neverland. [TMZ]
• Sadie Frost says of Jude Law, "We're continuing to have a very close relationship and I'm here to support him as a friend. That won't stop. He's a wonderful person and I'll stand by him forever. For all the silliness and difficulties, we've always really cared for each other and we're both a hundred per cent committed to the kids and doing the right thing by them. Everything's fine." [Daily Express]
• The terms of the settlement between Carrie Prejean and Miss California USA have been leaked. The Pageant will pay $100,000 directly to paying her lawyers and publicists, and Carrie gets nothing but the organization's promise not to fight her for writing a book without permission. [TMZ]
• Carrie Prejean was demanding more than a million dollars in her settlement negotiations with Pageant officials, until they revealed that they have a XXX home video of Prejean that has never been released publicly. [TMZ]
• Looks like the lawsuits may be back on. Carrie Prejean's lawyer says she may sue because of the sex tape rumor. "It seems as if someone has acted in an unethical and unlawful manner by even raising this issue," said her lawyer. "We are weighing our options and if this is a breach of contract we are considering suing for punitive damages." [Radar Online]
• Terrence Howard and Taraji P. Henson insist they are not dating. "I've known her too long. She knows what I'm thinking!" says Howard. [Us]
• Frances Bean Cobain threw a tantrum when she found out there was a problem with her train ticket from Boston to New York. A source says: "She caused a huge backup on the line because she refused to pay herself. She was causing a scene and saying her name loudly to the guy behind the counter, but he had no idea who she was. Finally, she got out of line to call her business manager, who paid for her ticket." [Daily Express]
• Katy Perry says she's gotten some tips on hosting the MTV European Music Awards from her boyfriend Russell Brand, who hosted the VMAs. "We're stepping on each others turfs. I've learned a couple of things from Russell over the last months that might not be appropriate for this!" she said. [The Sun]
• Porn star Janine Lindemulder, who is fighting her ex Jesse James and Sandra Bullock over custody of her 5-year-old daughter, says she wants to sit down with Bullock as "two women" because, "It hurts tremendously, the accusation, especially from Sandra... Even more so because we've never sat down and talked. You know, that's the one thing that I wish more than anything, for a remedy for what's happening here, is just communication." [ABC News]
• Liz Hurley has launched a line of organic foods like oat and fruit bars and jerky. "It's compulsory portion control. I've never been able to chop a Jaffa Cake in half and just eat one piece," she said. [Style.com]
• A 27 foot-tall firework-filled effigy of Katie Price will be burned this weekend in England. [The Mirror]
• Robbie Williams says he though he was destined to remain a bachelor until he met American actress Ayda Field. He said: "I thought I was going to be a bachelor ... I was introduced to Ayda and things just changed - she's a wonderful person and I'm in love." [The Mirror]
• David Spade says he doesn't regret resurrecting a scene from Tommy Boy featuring Chris Farley for a DirecTV ad. Chris' brother Kevin Farley added that the commercial is "an honor to my brother." [TMZ]
• Mischa Barton says: "I'm just figuring out what my next move will be and really looking at a lot of different projects and figuring out what I want to do," now that The Beautiful Life has been cancelled. [Us]
• Farrah Fawcett's college boyfriend Greg Lott told Inside Edition that he and Farrah had rekindled their relationship and were together for the last 11 years, but Ryan O'Neal kept him from her funeral. [UPI]
• Jennifer Hudson says she's not done having kids. "Maybe one more. I'd like to have at least one more, a little girl," says Hudson. "I want a girl and then maybe another one. You know, one baby at a time." [People]
• Natalie Portman says of the role of the short shelf life imposed on actresses, "You see people who were stars five years ago and already they're waning... As actresses approach 40, it starts becoming really, really difficult." [People]
• At the link is a short film made by Richard Heene which shows the Henne family driving down a deserted road in a Jeep, and Heene playing the harmonica while a woman dances on the roof of the car." [Radar Online]
• The Kardashians charity boxing event went awry when Rob Kardashian's mask fell off and he had to be taken to the hospital. Kim Kardashian made it out with just a black eye. [E!]
• When Oprah Winfrey asked Hilary Swank if she plans to marry her boyfriend of three years John Campisi she said, "It's not something we're talking about... I don't know. We'll see." [People]
• Ryan Seacrest's production company is developing a show called Bank of Hollywood in which rich Hollywood celebrities will take pitches from ordinary people who need cash, ranging from people raising money for charity to a grad student who can't afford a ring to propose to his girlfriend. "The idea's simple," Seacrest said. "We are giving away tons of money to everyday people to alleviate the stress of today's climate and have fun." [Live Feed]
• When asked if she would like to marry Mel Gibson, Oksana Grigorieva said, "Yes, but right now we're just so happy to be having this child together." [People]
• Debi Mazar says, "Madonna and I have been friends for almost three decades — dear friends... Our children have had play dates, and we will always be friends." [Us]
• Barry Gibb of The Bee Gees says he and his brother Robin Gibb are, "Like a non-violent version of Oasis... The competition between Robin and I is so strong, we both want attention so badly, that it actually brings something better out of both of us. It's like a basketball team, one player is pushing the other to rise to a different level. If I didn't have Robin to compete with, I wouldn't be able to do what I do." [The Telegraph]
• Jeremy Piven's rep says his recent comments on growing man boobs were taken out of context. "[Piven's comment] was taken from a silly Q&A piece that he did for a U.K. [movie] magazine called Empire," said his rep. Piven's rep. "They asked him, 'How much is a pint of milk?' to which he responded, 'I don't have a clue.' He said he used to drink soy milk, found out it had too much estrogen, made a funny remark about growing breasts and that was it." [TV Guide]
• Anti-rape activist Gabrielle Union says of the Richmond gang rape case: "I'm sad more than anything. After googling the gang rape story in Richmond and reading comments on blogs, it just leaves me sickened and really sad. The fact that race and socio-economics have been used to explain away a brutal gang rape...just sad...maybe I just have seen every kind of rapist and survivor...every race, color, religion, socio-economic status group...it's all the same...a lack of regard for violence against women. Tolerated, and in this case encouraged by the mob surrounding the perps...laughing, joking and taking pics." [Shakesville]
• Dustin Hoffman says his favorite memory of the New York Public Library is, "It's the first place I ever got laid... It was in the nonfiction section in 1958." When asked if he was being serious he replied, "I wasn't serious, but she was." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Alec Baldwin said he's heard about less than 5,000 people watching 30 Rock when it premiered in Germany. "It was so low that we didn't even have a rating," he said. "We didn't even get one rating point... We have work to do in Germany." [N.Y.T.]
• Alec Baldwin started a rumor about Julianne Moore guest starring on 30 Rock by saying, "I won't say who it is, but someone very near to us who may be coming on to play my girlfriend for four episodes," while standing near her on the red carpet. [E!]
• Hugh Jackman praised the the two men taking over as Oscar hosts this year, Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, saying, "They are both fantastic. Steve actually gave me a lot of funny hints last year ... I rang him and he was really helpful. He is really funny and he knows what he's doing. He's done this before. Alec Baldwin is also a true genius. I think the both of them together have hosted Saturday Night Live like 100 times, so you know they must be funny." [N.Y. Magazine]
• "Living in New York, I feel stronger and more like a woman than ever before. In high school, it was like, what power do I have - I have long blonde hair, you know? But working as hard as I do now, I feel a sense of power and respect, too. And I've learned an incredible amount about fashion on Gossip Girl. Clothes are a personal expression, and my style is as ever-changing as I am: I'm growing, maturing, developing, I'm going through new things in my life, and with that, what I choose to wear changes." — Blake Lively [Just Jared]
• When UK Glamour asked Leighton Meester if she's a "good girlfriend," she said, "I don't know... it's not really the goal of my existence." [ONTD]
• Woody Allen has explained how you can tell whether one of his films is good or bad. "If I look at the film and it's no good, I don't like to give it an aggressive title, I give it ... the kind of title that is low-key and promises nothing, so people are less disappointed by it." As for his next film You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger he says, "Well, that was a very aggressive title, so you can hope that it's a good movie. If I didn't think it was a good film, I would give it a quiet one-word title to deflect attention from it - so now you know the secret." [N.Y. Magazine]

• Of course a Nicole Richie clothing line was inevitable. It's called Winter Kate, and it will be hitting stores next February. [WWD]
• The full Jimmy Choo for H&M lookbook is out. [Daily Mail]

• Nick Knight is apparently shooting Raquel Zimmerman for the spring Alexander McQueen campaign. [Fashionologie]
• At the Oprah Store in Chicago, you can buy items worn by Oprah Herself on the show, from Oprah's Closet. But don't dare try them on! The rule is "To preserve the integrity of the items and ensure that Oprah was the last person to wear them," says a clerk. [True/Slant]
• Dennis Hopper has done an Easy Rider-inspired sneaker — whatever that means; it's navy suede — for Hogan. [WWD]
• "It's really belittling of the customer to think that anyone from a different price bracket deserves anything less," says Stella McCartney, who has collaborated on lower-priced lines so far with H&M, Adidas, Le Sportsac, and now GapKids. [NYTimes]
• Isaac Mizrahi decided to open his first store in the middle of a recession because a psychic told him to. [Fashionista]
• Mizrahi also told audiences at the 92nd St. Y, "I've actually booked girls [for a fashion show] that weren't obese, they were real girls. Like gorgeous anatomy. And one was a stripper. And you could feel the energy in the room just go down. Closed the books. Pens went down. They were angry. I could feel the anger. And I never did it again, because I thought Why bother? It takes a lot to rile women. It takes like actual breasts. Someone with implants, they're fine. Yes, you're right. Fashion advertisements are hateful. Hateful. Yeah, but they wouldn't do it unless it worked, right? It works." [The Cut]
• Yvon Chouinard, 70, is the founder of Patagonia. And as you would expect, he's outdoorsy. "I used to spend 250 days a year sleeping on the ground. I've climbed on every continent. I'm old enough to have seen the destruction," he says. "The reason I am in business is I want to protect what I love." And it seems like corporate responsibility has been Chouinard's practice since long before it became a buzzword; Patagonia has donated 1% of its annual sales to grass-roots environmental causes since 1985, and it switched to only using organic cotton in 1995. It has persuaded Nike, Timberland, and Wal-Mart to switch, too. [USN]
• Meanwhile, Lily Cole is working with a group called the Sky Rainforest Rescue campaign, which is working to save a 3 million hectare area of rainforest in the state of Acre, Brazil. [Independent]
• Levi's apparently thinks corporate responsibility comprises adding an extra message to its garment care tags, asking customers to please consider donating the jeans to charity when they are no longer needed, oh yeah, and to care for our planet. [AW]
• A man named Daniel Storto makes gloves in a rust belt New York town called Gloversville. That's the best we can describe this story, which, though a tad long on the gosh-darnit quirky local color, you should totally read. [NYTimes]
• Why would anyone make a $650 necklace, take the care to plate it in gold, and then adorn it with fake pearls? Questions that should be put to some outfit that sells at Barneys called Mawi. [W]
• The save the garment district rally yesterday featured this grand promise from mayoral candidate Bill Thompson: "As mayor, I'll work with manufacturers, the fashion industry and labor unions to arrange for up to one million square feet of dedicated garment manufacturing space in nonprofit buildings." Meanwhile, one manufacturer wants tax cuts for companies that manufacture domestically, interest-free loans, vouchers for his rent, tariffs on imported garments, and a blow job from Anna Wintour. (All right, we made that last part up.) Enforcing existing zoning laws would probably work just as well. [Crain's]
• Judith Leiber once designed a bag for Hillary Clinton based on Socks the Cat. [Style.com]
• Louis Vuitton now has a store in Ulan Bator. That's in Mongolia. The country, or at least certain sectors of it, is awash in wealth from uranium and copper mining, and officials at LVMH are assured that "elegant women" are already sporting damier and monogram canvas items at Ulan Bator's "trendy nightclubs and restaurants." Louis Vuitton is not, however, the first luxury brand to hit the market: Ermenegildo Zegna opened last month. [WWD]
• Roberto Cavalli, after having visited Chechnya, will now take care of fashion business in Turkey. [FWD]
• Cynthia Rowley is doing a line of surfwear for Roxy. We want to see those alleged neoprene pencil skirts. [Racked]
• J. Crew nearly doubled its earnings forecast for the fourth quarter, and its stock rose by 10%, to $42.01. [TS]
• Sir Philip Green's Arcadia Group — which owns Topshop, Miss Selfridge, Wallis, and Burton — reported a 13% rise in pre-tax profits, to £213.6 million, for the year to this August. [Independent]

• Jon Gosselin is demanding TLC stop filming Jon and Kate. He posted a sign on his gate reading, "NOTICE: NO FILM CREW OR PRODUCTION STAFF FROM TLC IS PERMITTED ON THIS PROPERTY UNDER PENELTY [sic] OF TRESPASS. JOHNATHON [sic] GOSSELIN"

• Last week Jon was fine with his kids filming, but now that he's been dropped from Kate Plus 8 he suddenly doesn't want his kids to be on camera. [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin's manager, Mike Heller, told Perez Hilton: "Jon Gosselin is the new David and TLC is the new Goliath. Jon is empowered by his new attorney, Mark Jay Heller, to take back control of his family. Even if it means the revenue stream will be cut off. Jon's priority is family not money. THIS IS NOT A NEGOTIATION TACTIC TO get more money from TLC. We are completely cutting ties with TLC. This is something that he has been trying to do for a while now." [Perez Hilton]
• TLC responded: "We are aware of Jon Gosselin's recent statements, and remain deeply disappointed at his continued erratic behavior. He and the family were shooting as recently as last Friday, without incident, and his latest comments are grossly inaccurate, without merit and are clearly opportunistic... Despite Jon Gosselin's repeated self destructive and unprofessional actions, he remains under an exclusive contract with TLC. Direct filming of the children has been currently suspended, pending further conversations between both parents." [People]
• Kate Gosselin is similarly disappointed in Jon. She says: "I'm saddened and confused by Jon's public media statements. Jon has never expressed any concerns to me about our children being involved in the show and, in fact, is on the record as saying he believes the show benefits our children and was taping on Friday with the kids. I check in regularly with each of the kids to be sure they want to participate in and continue with the show and will continue to do so..." [People]
• Michael Lohan has weighed in on the matter saying, "All I can tell you from my conversation with him two days ago is that he does want to pursue the Divorced Dads Club... Michael Heller, he and I represent Jon on a business level, wants him to do the show. Mark is trying to get him out of the TLC contract so he can." [Radar Online]
• Sources from both sides are explaining what's really going on... or rather, their version of events. TLC sources say Jon Gosselin wanted off the show so the network offered to give him his full paycheck and take him off Jon and Kate Plus 8. But they wouldn't let Jon do any other reality show, which Jon found unacceptable. His lawyer threatened to shut down production by claiming the show wasn't good for the kids. Jon sources say the kids really have been complaining about the show, and that the show being renamed Kate Plus 8 means they'll have to be on camera a lot more to fill the void left by Jon. [TMZ]
• The most shocking thing about Michael Jackson's autopsy? He was actually pretty healthy. His heart and other organs were strong and functioning normally and at 136 lbs he was in the acceptable weight range for a 5-foot-9 man. He had arthritis in his lower back and some fingers and his lungs were chronically inflamed and had reduced capacity, but his lung condition wasn't serious enough to contribute to his death. As this is MJ, there has to be something odd: He had tattooed on eyeliner, eyebrows, and lipliner and covered a bald spot with a tattoo from ear to ear. [AP, The Telegraph]
• In a new interview with Britain's Channel 4, La Toya Jackson says that in the hospital after Michael Jackson died, Paris told her, "The cardiologist was the best, so how could this happen? What happened is they worked him too hard. He never got the chance to rest. It was non-stop work." La Toya continues, "She said, 'No, you don't understand. They kept working him and Daddy didn't want that, but they worked him constantly'. I felt so bad." [The Mirror]
• Michael Bearden, the musical director for Michael Jackson's "This Is It" tour, says the coroner's finding prove that the allegations Michael was too weak to perform weren't true and he was definitely up for performing 50+ concerts. [TMZ]
• The Jackson kids spent time with their longtime nanny, Grace Rwaramba, yesterday. [TMZ]
• Emma Watson was "quite shaken" when a group of students from the Harvard Voice stalked her at a Harvard-Brown football game. They Tweeted the progress of their "stalking mission" and posted a picture of her, calling it a "success." [Extra]
• The Voice says that their Emma Watson-stalking live blog was a "parody." The magazine responded to complaints left on their website writing, "There seems to be much ado about nothing over this photo and liveblog. Understand that these live tweets were made to be intentionally outrageous and overblown." [People]
• Could a prenup put an end to Kevin Jonas' plans to marry Danielle Deleasa? She hasn't signed yet and is reportedly taking time to come "to terms with the request." [Perez Hilton]
• Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Colin Egglesfield got "touchy-feely" between filming scenes on Melrose Place. Watch out Pete, a source says she was even doing the "hair flip thing!" [Star]
• David Copperfield wants a judge to temporarily shelve a personal injury lawsuit filed by a woman who says he sexually assaulted her on his private island because Department of Justice prosecutors are already investigating the case. [The Smoking Gun]
• Ryan Jenkins' father has hired a private investigator because he refuses to believe that his son killed Jasmine Fiore. He says, "We just want the truth to be told ... It is just unfathomable to us that he could be responsible for anything that has been reported." [TMZ]
• John Travolta's lawer Michael McDermott testified today that the plot to blackmail Travolta was hatched because one of the defendants was star struck. McDermott says paramedic Tarino Loightbourne kept the document instead of turning it in because it was singed by a celebrity and he thought it was evidence that Travolta had either killed his son or recognized he was negligent in his death. [TMZ]
• Dennis Hopper's manager says he's "feeling much better" after checking into the hospital yesterday. He had severe flulike symptoms and was treated for dehydration. [AP]
• Randy and Evi Quaid's former private investigator claims that they scammed an 87-year-old lady named Lois. She says, "Lois worked out an agreement with Randy and Evi that they would rent her mobile home for $1,000 a month... But they never paid her and they left her place a disaster. To take advantage of an 87-year-old lady who trusted them like that is really sad." [Radar Online]
• Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi is pregnant. Her rep says, "she is carrying her first child after years of struggling with endometriosis, a cause for which she has co-founded the Endometriosis Foundation of America. As a result of her condition, this pregnancy has been referred to by her physician as nothing short of a medical miracle, and due to its delicate nature, we ask/implore the press to respect Ms. Lakshmi's privacy at this time." [Us]
• Flavor Flav dropped out of high school in 10th grade and now he's shopping a reality show about going back to school. So basically this will be a Strangers With Candy reality show. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Bethenny Frankel is getting her own reality show. It doesn't have a title yet but "will showcase her career as a natural foods chef, as well as the Gotham socialite's love life." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Intrawest, which operates nine ski resorts including the one Natasha Richardson died at six months ago, will implement a new rule this season, recommending that all skiers and snowboarders wear helmets. [AP]
• A preliminary hearing in the Anna Nicole Smith drug case against Howard K. Stern will be held on October 13. [TMZ]
• Ryan Seacrest hit on Madonna on his radio show today and she told him he's "too old" for her. She says she's dating a 22-year-old because, "Younger people are more adventurous. Have you met many guys my age? They're usually grumpy and fat and balding." She says as long as men are "old enough to dress themselves" she'll date them. She adds, "My body is a part of my job. I look in the mirror and say "more work.....less cake, more work." On the topic of Kanye West she says he's "impulsive" and that she wants to "give him a good talking to" because "he needs to put a lid on it." Finally she explains that she didn't notice Ryan in the front row of her concert because Jennifer Lopez was giving her "sharp looks." [KIISFM]
• Michael Bay announced on his website today that Transformers 3 will come out a year earlier than expected and wrote in a postscript (that came before his signature for some reason) "P.S. Megan Fox, welcome back. I promise no alien robots will harm you in any way during the production of this motion picture. Please consult your Physician when working under my direction because some side effects can occur, such as mild dizziness, intense nausea, suicidal tendencies, depression, minor chest hair growth, random internal hemorrhaging and inability to sleep. As some directors may be hazardous to your health, please consult your Doctor to determine if this is right for you." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Kevin Smith has compiled transcripts from his podcast into the book Shooting the Shit: The Best of SModcast. He says, "I don't feel like an author most days. John Grisham is an author. John Grisham sits down and is like, 'All right, I'm gonna write a story about this shit and it's gonna happen in Memphis and involve a couple lawyers, as per usual.' That's an author. I'm like, at best, a backdoor author. That sounds very homoerotic, but it's not gay porn - it's backdoor, man. I didn't intend for it to happen, I didn't go through the front door." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Drew Barrymore says of Whip It, "I didn't want it to be just another chick flick. I wanted it to stay true to girl empowerment. I wanted to make something that was also irreverent and relevant for boys. I wanted it to be emotional and yet romantic and also have action and have girls doing things you'd normally see boys do. That wasn't easy." [Reuters]
• Mo'Nique has done almost no press for Precious despite the fact that people are saying she's a possible Oscar nominee. Now her publicist of two weeks has quit and Mo'Nique is refusing to show up to the New York Film Festival on Saturday. [Showbiz 411]
• Mariah Carey has finally overcome her debilitating left side insecurity and is now allowing people to photograph either side of her face. She says, "I don't feel like, 'Oh, I have to be on this side, or I have to be on this side' — I really had specific things that someone told me when I was 19 starting in the business and I listened to them ... I don't care anymore. Sometimes I like that [left] side — and Nick likes that side better anyway." [Us]

• Kanye West new life of humility isn't off to a good start. Over the weekend at Common's benefit show in Hollywood he threw a fit when he wasn't offered food backstage and saw another man eating chicken.

• Kanye shouted, "Why wasn't I offered chicken? You want me to perform for free, [and] everyone is eating... why am I not eating?" When his chicken was delivered he took one bite and threw the rest in the trash. [Vibe]
• Lady Gaga says of Kanye West's incident at the VMAs, "He's a good guy and everybody makes mistakes, and he feels so fucking bad. He really does... Everyone likes to focus on gossip, but he's changed music and he's really prolific and an incredible person, and I think it's unfair to judge somebody on one mistake they've made. That moment really portrayed him in a way that he really isn't. It was just a random moment." [The Sun]
• Kate Gosselin went to the Stars, Stripes, & Skates charity ice skating event in Connecticut and her TLC crew freaked out when they realized Jill Zarin and Luann DeLesseps were also there filming RHONY for Bravo. Kate wasn't allowed to get in Bravo's shot and when Jill Zarin tried to introduce herself when the cameras weren't rolling, "It completely threw her off guard and Steve [Neild] stepped in between them, attempting to keep them apart." Later one of her other bodyguards blocked Nikki Blonsky, who was hosting the event, from getting on stage. [E!]
• Dennis Hopper was rushed to a hospital in New York earlier today. He arrived in an ambulance wearing an oxygen mask. [Ok]
• Roman Polanski is surviving on only five Swiss francs (about $5) a day in prison. He is allowed to spend them money on phone calls. He also has a cable television in his cell. Like other prisoners, he's allowed to earn more money by making cardboard boxes or envelopes. [Times of London]
• John Travolta testified again today in the Bahamian extortion trial, explaining that his employee Ronald Zupancic initially told him about the plot to release a document to "imply that the death of my son was intentional and I was culpable in some way." He says he never spoke to any of the defendants and all their demands were made through his lawyer. [TMZ]
• This is disturbing on so many levels: Spencer Pratt says he's refusing to have sex with wife Heidi Montag because he's afraid she'll go off her birth control without telling him. "I'm not even kidding, my wife – OK, I'm gonna get crass here – but we're barely having sex because I'm scared that she's gonna have a baby," he says. "That's the level our marriage is on right now. I'm not even kidding – my wife has me debating cutting off my nuts." [People]
• A judge has granted Audrina Patridge's request for a 3-year restraining order against Zachory Loring, whoc she claims is stalking her. The judge said the evidence against him was "quite disturbing" after Audrina read a creepy poem he's sent her. [TMZ]
• While leaving court Audrina said, "I feel safe now." [TMZ]
• Temple Hill Entertainment has acquired the rights to turn Lauren Conrad's book L.A. Candy into a movie. [Variety]
• Jason Wahler has been jailed in Seattle for assault and a minor drinking charge. A court official said, "He will serve 120 days in jail but could get out after 80 days for good behavior." [Radar Online]
• TMZ has obtained a recording of the walkie-talkie chatter among E! producers at Khloe Kardashian's wedding which reveals the whole things was elaborately staged, including the moment Khloe told Bruce Jenner she considers him her "real dad." [TMZ]
• Matt LeBlanc will star in a new show called Episodes as a satirical version of himself. The show will be jointly produced by the BBC and Showtime and is about a British couple whose hit comedy is reworked into an American show starring LeBlanc. He said he's glad he got the role because, "seeing someone else play Matt LeBlanc would have been devastating." [N.Y. Times]
• Lisa Kudrow and Courteney Cox were on stage at the Rock a Little Reed a Lot benefit concert for Feeding America on Tuesday when the audience began demanding she sing "Smelly Cat." Cox said, "Get her a guitar, people," and she performed the song. [People]
• Chynna Phillips is relaunching her music career as a member of the contemporary Christian duo Chynna and Vaughan. Her album launched on September 22, the day before her sister Mackenzie Phillips went on The Oprah Winfrey Show to reveal her incestuous relationship with their father. [People]
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck will return to The View on October 19. [AP]
• For those concerned, when All My Children moves from New York to Los Angeles they will not lose Erica Kane. Though Susan Lucci says her life is in New York, she'll move to L.A. to stay with the show. [AP]
• Wu-Tang Clan's RZA is appealing a lawsuit brought by Ghostface Killah disputing his 50% share of the group's royalties. It was reported last week that Ghostface Killah had been awarded $158,000 but RZA says, "The judgment has not been entered yet, and we are appealing the case. I'm not appealing because I don't want to pay Ghost something that I owe him. Anything I owe him I would give him ... But he's with a group of people who to me have a misunderstanding of hip-hop and contracts." [The Guardian]
• Lisa Marie Presley is countersuing her former nanny who has accused her of forcing her to work without overtime because she says she broke her contract by posting pictures of Presley's twins on Facebook. [TMZ]
• Emmanuelle Béart says even though appearing in Mission: Impossible opened a lot of doors in Hollywood she decided to stick to return to France and stick to art films because: "'I was young. I wasn't ready. I had just had a baby and even though I liked the director, and Tom [Cruise] was very professional, I couldn't bear it. All the press junkets and the interviews… I came home to Paris and I never really wanted to go back." She says she regrets it, "In a way. But I am 46 now. It's not what I am about to do." [The Telegraph]
• Ricky Gervais says of people insulting him, "I love it and I don't know if that's because I've got no ego at all or such a big ego that nothing can hurt me. Someone insulting me makes me laugh." [The Mirror]
• Jon Hamm was spotted buying Mad Men DVDs in a Boston Borders. When approached by a fan he said, "You've got me in a dork moment,"and explained he was buying them as gifts. [ONTD]

[New York, September 14. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

Fab Flash: Gwyneth Paltrow's "Pashmy Dream" [Fab Sugar]

Earlier: Gwyneth Paltrow's New Website: Let Them Eat Macrobiotic Rice!

• Jewel is hitched! She eloped to the Bahamas and married her man, rodeo champ Ty Murray. The bride wore a wedding gown, the groom wore blue jeans and a cowboy hat. They've been together for more than ten years. Congrats. [People]
• Morgan Freeman was released from a Memphis hospital yesterday following that serious car accident on Sunday night. He says: "I'm doing very well. I feel real good." He suffered a broken arm and elbow and "minor shoulder damage" but is expected to fully recover. Hopefully he'll go back to playing that awesome guy he always plays. [Reuters]
• Paul Newman may only have weeks to live. He's told his family that he wants to die at home. He's apparently finished chemotherapy and is frail and thin. Sadness. [Daily Mail]
• Ellen wants Oprah at her wedding! [Mirror]
• Madonna and Guy Ritchie are part owners of a London pub called The Punchbowl, and it's being investigated because the staff allegedly sell pints cheaper to locals than to tourists. Not surprising. [The Sun]

• Madonna's brother has stories the publishers wouldn't let him print in his book, so he's spilling them on his blog. There's stuff about her childhood hijinks, like walking in on her dad and stepmother while they were having sex. [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• Oh, Madonna's documentary about the plight of orphans in Malawi, I Am Because We Are, will have a companion book of photographs by award-winning photojournalist Kristen Ashburn. Proceeds go to the Raising Malawi organization. [Perez Hilton]
• Though you may have heard that Helena Bonham Carter's daughter was named Indiana Rose, that name was never confirmed by Helena and partner Tim Burton. Apparently, Tim and Helena had a tough time agreeing on a name, but now they have revealed that the 7 month old is named Nell. [People]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty were seen shopping in Malibu yesterday. Seriously. That's the news. [Yahoo News]
• She bought "slinky tops." [The Sun]
• Javier Bardem thinks his own sex scenes are hilarious: He was seen laughing at intimate moments during a screening of Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Is his giddy joy enough to make you want to see this flick? [Page Six]
• Mariah Carey rented a gigantic mansion in the Hamptons this month, and she'll throw a party celebrating her marriage to Nick Cannon. It's only been four months since their quickie wedding, you can totally still get them a gift! [Page Six]
• Brad Pitt will indeed star in Quentin Tarantino's remake of Inglorious Bastards. The gist: Five court-martialed GIs in WWII escape toward Switzerland. [Page Six]
• Gossip Girl scandal! Someone has been RSVPing Blake Lively and Penn Badgely for events without their knowledge or consent. Blair Waldorf, looking at you. [Rush & Molloy]
• A custody hearing has been requested by Alec Baldwin regarding Kim Basinger and daughter Ireland. All has been quiet since that "little pig" voicemail in April 2007. Is the drama starting up again? [E!]
• Last week we heard that Jon Voight sent daughter Angelina Jolie presents for her newborn twins; today he says: "I haven’t had any contact. I heard they’re healthy, and I’m so delighted for them. I love all these kids. I haven’t seen them yet." [E!]
• Bernie Mac is responding well to treatment for pneumonia and should be out cracking jokes in a few weeks. [AP]
• Are Benicio Del Toro and Catherine Keener hooking up? Love them both! [ONTD]
• The buzz on Nikki Blonsky is that her mom is "obnoxious and difficult," making it hard to work with Nikki. [Perez Hilton]
• Lisa Kudrow is being sued by her former manager, who claims she stopped paying him his guaranteed cut of her earnings after she fired him. We're talking about $50,000 or so. [Yahoo News]
• Prison Break's Lane Garrison is supposed to be in a substance-abuse program, but it was cut by Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Whoops! [Yahoo News]
• A Paris Hilton/Stan Lee superhero cartoon? Not hot. [Perez Hilton]
• In a UK poll asking which famous lady you'd love to call, Brit dudes chose Kylie Minogue as number one. Keira Knightley came in second, Angelina Jolie was third and Scarlett Johansson fifth. [The Sun]
• A rare sighting of Bono without his trademark sunglasses! [The.Life Files]
• "I got cut out of the movie." — Dennis Hopper on Swing Vote. [Rush & Molloy]
• A blonde goes up to Brody Jenner in New York and starts talking to him. Brody looks to friend Frankie Delgado, who explains, "You slept with her in Cabo." That's what friends are for. [Page Six]

[Los Angeles, June 4. Image via Film Magic.]

Listen, I'm not hating on these women for using their considerable connections to accomplish their creative goals, but why is it that of all the "chick lit" books that hit the shelves every month, those written by or about socialites and urging conspicuous consumption the only ones that get any press?

Earlier this year, NYC society doyenne Holly Peterson, daughter of the chairman of the Blackstone group wrote an aggressively mediocre book called The Manny, made a YouTube video with her rich friends to accompany it, all followed by mentions in the New York Times Sunday Styles, and the New Yorker.

What's curious also is that in the Bazaar profile, Goldberg and Harper choose a Jenni Kayne dress as one of their fashion picks. Kayne, a rising designer, was the subject of the Bazaar "Personal Style" feature just two months ago. She is also the daughter of the wealthy LA elite, and counts Rachel Zoe and the Olsen twins as members of her inner circle. Kayne told the L.A. Times last year, "My dad happens to be really good at what he does, and he has been successful (her father is a high profile investment banker). But my parents are not socialites, and I'm not a socialite. I've found articles online where they compare me to Nikki Hilton. I think she's a really nice girl, but that's not me." Tell it to Tory Burch, sister.

There are so many excellent books written and clothes by women who don't happen to have access to multi-million dollar fortunes, Phillip Lim dresses, or media reporters. Can't book publicists and magazine editors give those women some love, too? Though maybe Ruthanna Hopper deserves all the breaks she can get, because when she was a kid, her batshit papa tried to stab Rip Torn, drank thirty beers and did three grams of coke a day, and subsequently has given large sums of money to the Republican party. It's hard out there for a celebutante!

Cinema Verite [WWD]
Jenni Kayne's Big Picture [Los Angeles Times]

Earlier: The Problem With Chick Lit