• According to this report, Jennifer Aniston is "struggling" to stay away from John Mayer:

Last week she sent him a "hand-delivered, perfumed note" before one of his concerts, and it read, "Play well, you always do." Then she moped around her mansion and sobbed giant old lonely spinster tears. [Daily Express]

• Rihanna is reportedly not nervous about testifying in court today. [E!, NY Post, NY Daily News]
• Meanwhile, Chris Brown will be working with Keri Hilson. [E!]
• Chris Brown will listen to Rihanna give a detailed description of how he struck her in the car today. And: Um, his next song may be called "Smash." [TMZ]
• Madonna's new daughter Mercy was flown to London of the weekend. [People, NY Daily News]
• "Eliza Manyoza, a banana vendor in Malawi's colonial-era capital Zomba, says she has never heard a Madonna song. She only knows the American pop icon as an "adopter" of orphaned children. 'I am told she is a nice woman who wants to help our children.'" [Breitbart]
• Anna Faris married Chris Pratt in Hawaii on Saturday. In the photograph, Pratt is wearing, tight, star-spangled flag-inspired swim trunks. [Radar Online]
• Lindsay Lohan has a new tattoo that the paparazzi can't read, even though they zoomed in on her arm as she arrived at Samantha Ronson's house in L.A. But actually, the big mystery in these photographs? LL's choice of hideous shoes. [Daily Mail]
• Lindsay Lohan's new show with Ryan Seacrest is all about giving people on the wrong track a second chance. [TMZ, NY Daily News]
• "Jon on Father's Day: 'I Don't Know' Where Kate Is." [People]
• Is Jon Gosselin moving to NYC? [NY Daily News]
• Was Perez Hilton assaulted by Will.I.Am from the Black Eyed Peas? And if so, why did Perez use Twitter as a means of alerting the cops? Wouldn't a phone be quicker? [Digital Spy, TechCrunch]
• Will.I.Am has a video response, in which he says Perez was rude to Fergie and called Will a "faggot," and then fans went crazy. [Dipdive]
• A play-by-play of Evan Rachel Wood at a trapeze lesson. [The New Yorker]
• One of the cops who is under investigation for breaking into the home of the woman acting as a surrogate for Sarah Jessica Parker originally said he was trying to sell stuff to the National Enquirer, but now he says: "I'm not exactly sure. If the National Enquirer didn't have anything to do with this, then I publicly apologize." [TMZ]
• By the by, Sarah Jessica Parker has a new car but doesn't know how to turn the lights on. [Page Six]
• If Victoria Beckham had her breast implants reduced or removed so that she could be in Vogue, it's just another testament to the power of Anna Wintour. [Daily Mail]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty: Back on? [Daily Mail]
• Is Prince William shopping for a "Malibu honeymoon pad"? [Daily Express]
• When Prince William and Kate Middleton booked a vacation house, they used the names Mr. and Mrs. Smith. [Telegraph]
• Prince Harry's been hanging out with ex Chelsy Davy. [The Sun]
• Kanye and Amber are still "very happy and affectionate." [The Sun]
• According to this report, Foxy Brown was "pampered" during her stay at Rikers Island — she got meals in her cell, makeup and unlimited TV and phone use. [NY Post]
• Joel Madden says Nicole Richie's second pregnancy is "a lot easier" than the first: "You've already been through it and it's not as intense and dramatic. We're a little more relaxed. It's actually kind of nice." [People]
• Kelly Osbourne is working on a book called Fierce: "It's about all the major things girls go through before they turn 21," she explains. "It's 16 chapters where I explain what I did and where I went wrong, and then I offer professional advice on how to do things differently." Noted. [WWD]
• Here's a Father's Day column penned by Nicole Kidman, who says: "My father, Anthony, is a very good and decent man. He's Catholic, and he has a strong set of values based on religion, but which really come down to being a good person, being tolerant of other people, and doing unto others what you would wish them to do to you." [Daily Mail]
• Rachel Bilson is so close to Hayden Christensen's family, his grandmother calls her "my future granddaughter." [Page Six]
• Dennis Quaid and his wife have agreed to a $500,000 settlement with the hospital that nearly killed his newborn twins by overdosing them with blood thinner. [USA Today]
• Cloris Leachman filmed a guest spot for Jada Pinkett Smith's new show, Hawthorne: "I was a patient. I threw a bedpan at her. It was a very emotional part. I used the bedpan to show my feelings. I made use of it. I didn't USE it. Haha." [NY Mag]
• In this column for the Daily Fail, Simon Cowell writes about Britian's Got Talent: "I didn't get into show business to make little children cry or upset a nice lady like Susan Boyle… But the question remains: should we have done things differently?" [Daily Mail]
• From an interview with Emily Blunt: "When I mention [former love Michael] Bublé's name, I am treated to a stare that is so glacial it could freeze an ant at 500 paces. Is she seeing anyone at the moment? 'Weirdly enough, I'm going to pass on that. You know, apparently I'm seeing everyone. I think someone said I was dating Anne Hathaway in a story recently.'" [Guardian]
• In this article, Betty White and The Proposal director Anne Fletcher have tea and it turns into a "gigglefest." [NY Times]
• David Duchovny and Téa Leoni: Still in love. [People]
• Oh, crap: Peaches Geldof has been studying Scientology for nine months. [Mirror]
• "It's not really an internship. I'm just there for two weeks to see how it works," she said. "I'm listening to the editors, seeing what the fashion department does, what marketing does, what the photo department does. It's all over the place. "Everything is interesting… I really like the fashion department." — Tallulah Willis on her stint at Harper's Bazaar. [NY Mag]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony want Washington, D.C. to pay attention to their campaign to fight childhood obesity, especially among Latino kids. [US News & World Report]
• Kathy Hilton says she's not sad that her daughter Paris and Doug Reinhardt broke up: "Doug was riding Paris' coattails." [E!]
• Cristiano Ronaldo says of hanging out with Paris Hilton: "She was a really cool girl and we had a great time talking. I am a young man and Paris a young lady, and us talking in a club is just what normal people our age do." [The Sun]
• Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves: Expecting baby number two. [People]
• Twilight's Ashley Greene says she is not dating Adrian Grenier — they were just attending the same surfing event. Ashley says: "It's kind of annoying sometimes because I have been linked to so many guys, but I have been single forever!" [Us Magazine]
• Behind the scenes of the new Harry Potter movie! [Guardian]
• There are three country stars in bikinis on the cover of Shape and one of them, LeAnn Rimes, talks about being accused of stalking by Ediie Cibrian's wife: ""I feel like people are looking and pointing at me…" [People]
• Congrats to Rachel Griffiths, who recently gave birth to a baby girl, her third child. [People]
• Duran Duran: Working with Mark Ronson. [The Star]
• Mark Ronson and Perez Hilton have had a falling out, and Perez admits he is "petty." [Daily Express]
• Looking for a cute anecdote about Robert Redford and Paul Newman? Click the link. [Daily Express]
• "It is exactly the same - it doesn't make a difference whether it is a woman or a man. It is about a passionate relationship, it is good, intense and quite an unusual story." — Eva Greene, on playing a boarding school teacher who seduces one of her female students in upcoming film Cracks. [Mirror]
• "People think cameras follow you 24/7. It's really not like that. We have set hours, set days, just like any scripted show." — Denise Richards, on It's Complicated. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Q: Are there any women you would get it on with? "Agyness Deyn. She's a little punk-rock Lolita. Beautiful face, beautiful shoulders. I look at her and think, 'Ooh, I'm so turned on. What's happening?'" — Katy Perry. [Times Of London]
• "I would argue that as culturally diverse as L.A. is, and it's one of the most diverse places on the planet, it is shockingly segregated. And that's why I love New York so much and, on one level, San Francisco. You step out your door and you're swept up in a sea of humanity whether you want to be or not. You can stay in your car in L.A. and avoid anyone you want to." — Benjamin Bratt. [LA Times]
• "There are enough reality-TV stars out there who clearly want attention and fame. I personally don't think they know what they're getting into, but it's a very human instinct. I never wanted to be famous. I just wanted to act. So it's very odd. Here I am doing something that's a real actor thing to do and I'm being treated like a celebrity. I was going to take this year off from being a celebrity!" — Anne Hathaway, who is doing Shakespeare in the Park. [NY Mag]
• "She is there every waking moment of my life. It's always something. Things happen to me every single day. I will be in a tiny café and suddenly a version of "Over The Rainbow" will start to play." —Lorna Luft, on her mother, Judy Garland. [Daily Express]
• "Don't get me wrong — I am thankful for a round of antibiotics or surgery when necessary but I have been helped tremendously by the practices [of acupuncture and cupping] that help the body heal itself. When implemented by a professional with experience, the benefits can work wonders." — Gwyneth Paltrow's been flinging GOOP. [Daily Express]
• "Children have always responded to me because I have that cartoon-character look. I'm over-exaggerated and my voice is small and my name is Dolly and I'm kind of like a Mother Goose character. So I think that it's going to be a fun thing." — Dolly Parton, on her children's book, I Am A Rainbow. [Time]

• To start this Memorial Day weekend, here's a picture of Robert Pattinson with his arm around a pretty blonde that is probably making the girl I saw wearing a "Team Edward" t-shirt yesterday cry. [ShowbizSpy]

• The mystery woman is apparently Erika Dutra, who was "was introduced to Robert by a mutual friend at the beginning of the night and he was smitten with her from that point on," according to a source, "He took pictures of her, sat with her all night, and the two of them were even seen kissing! There was serious chemistry between them, and they looked like they were having an amazing time." Related: sales of Erika Dutra voodoo dolls have shot up 999% in Hot Topic stores across the country. [Life&Style]
• "I just want to become a traditional old man with a beer belly. I'd like to be sitting on the veranda of our place in France, just staring out over the lawns." -Johnny Depp [ShowbizSpy]
• Charges will be dropped against Kiefer Sutherland as he has reached an agreement with the designer he headbutted at a Met Gala after-party earlier this month. [USWeekly]
• Blind Item: "Which once-hot pop star can barely sing a note and needs mucho enhancement in the studio, getting help from a songwriter who's also vocally stepped in for that working-class rock band? Similarly, which famous young lady actually does the singing for her more famous sister?" [BlindGossip]
• When Kate Moss goes camping, it's called "glamping." [DailyMail]
• "If I went to a psychiatrist, it would be a long session,' he says. 'I've always thought that I do have a number of issues that probably need dealing with, because I am quite odd in some ways. I get very dark moods for no reason. "- Simon Cowell [DailyMail]
• Wondering if your favorite television show got canceled? Here's a nice rundown of shows that didn't make it. [Yahoo]
• Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards, who went through a fairly nasty public divorce, have dined together since, for the sake of their children: "Believe it or not, we had dinner together with all of us," Richards says, "So I love that... It's important for our daughters to see us get along and to be able to be in the same room." [USWeekly]
• Hayden Panettiere was spotted frolicking on a yacht with James Blunt. When asked for comment, James Blunt pulled out a guitar and sang, "My life is brilliant, blah blah blah blah." Not really. But still. [DailyMail]
• "It's so important to have hobbies and girlfriends, and not know people that work in Hollywood. It's a sanity thing; it keeps you sane. I was playing soccer and I joined a kickball league. That's way more interesting to me than going to some party."-Jessica Biel [ShowbizSpy]
• "There'll be a whole new generation that has to be trained and a leader that you'll all love when you meet her. There'll be lots of cadets, boys and girls who'll be learning how to use the neuron splitter and the inter-planet interceptor - new tools to enable them to slip from dimension to dimension."- Dan Aykroyd on Ghostbusters 3. [Guardian]
• Employees at the hotel where Mariah Carey recently stayed during the Cannes Film Festival were ordered to decorate her room with Hello Kitty decor to "help her feel at home." [DailyMail]
• "I was told for a very long time that I was not pretty enough, too strange, not edgy enough. But I've always been famous, it is just that nobody knew."-Lady GaGa [ONTD]
• "There's always a sense of Andy Warhol whenever we make a Black Eyed Peas album. It's an artistic factory with several rooms going at the same time. We don't just sit down. We jump from room to room, all of us adding ideas to the recipe. If you get burned out on one idea or your ears get tired, you walk to another room and step into a whole fresh creative zone for more ideas."- Fergie [Reuters]
• Elizabeth Taylor has "fallen in love" with Twitter and is reportedly tweeting from her hospital bed. [NYTimes]
• In other Twitter news, Heidi Montag sent a tweet to Miley Cyrus that read: "Yeah we can't wait to go to church with you!! We need extra Jesus time before we leave for the Jungle for I'm a Celebrity."[EW]
• Mark-Paul Gosselaar is proud of his Saved By The Bell days: "That image will stay with me for my entire career," he says, "But I'm not looking to shed the persona of Zack. I'm proud of the work I did." Friends forever! With you everywhere! Talkin' bout friends forever! Always will be there, we'll be there! [JustJared]

• ZOMG Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie partied past one am in Cannes! He drank Bailey's! She drank vodka! He had his hand on her leg! They laughed and whispered in each other's ears! [People]
• Brad Pitt says:

"I am in love and I have the most beautiful family — what else can a guy want?" It's almost like In Touch was wrong! [Mirror]

• Someone in Cannes paid $25,000 for a kiss from Robert Pattinson. For that price, some of the sparkles had better rub off. Oh, the money went to AmFar. [Page Six]
• Guess who lost her BlackBerry in Cannes? Paris Hilton. The Daily Fail prints pictures of her drunkenly straddling Doug Whatshisname so you get the impression that she was too busy grinding to keep tabs on her phone. [Daily Mail]
• When getting takeout, Owen Wilson doesn't wait on line with the plebes, he walks straight into the kitchen. [Page Six]
• Jay-Z has left Def Jam records, the label which issued his biggest hits. He went from artist on Def Jam to president of Def Jam and back to artist again, and now, like Madonna, he has a deal with Live Nation. [Crain's]
• Sarah Jessica Parker says Matthew Broderick is reacting strongly to the intense media attention and threats their surrogate is receiving: "He's furious. He's angry." [People]
• Alec Baldwin has penned am essay praising documentary filmmaking. "If you want to see something off the crash-bang-boom thrill ride that Hollywood promises each year, don't rule out documentaries." [WSJ]
• Trudie Styler has written a missive titled "It Is Not Hypocritical To Fly If I'm Campaigning For The Environment." Subtitle: "There's no way I could raise millions for the rainforest if I only travelled by boat or train." [Guardian]
• Patrick Swayze: Releasing a memoir in the fall. [UPI]
• Boo. Rihanna and Aubrey "Drake" Graham are just friends. Boo. The man who was Jimmy on Degrassi told a radio station: "I have the most utmost respect for her. I think she's so talented. I'm being honest- - [She's] just a friend that's all." Although even if they were seen kissing, that doesn't mean it's serious, or that either of them would admit it. [People]
• 90210's AnnaLynne McCord and Twilight's Kellan Lutz: It's on. [Page Six]
• Susan Boyle would be "perfectly happy" with a reality show, says a source. [MSNBC Scoop]
• The woman who choked Terri Seymour after American Idol on Tuesday night was getting revenge for Paula Abdul. Janice Thibodeaux tells Radar Online, "I wasn't cool with Simon Cowell choking Paula Abdul on the show last week and with her crying-out 'help' as he did so. Nobody said anything about that so I wanted to confront him about it because that is not appropriate behavior, is it?" Um, no, but does that mean you should do it? Thibodeaux continues: "[Terri] was taking some photographs with her camera and I knew she was his girlfriend so I went up to her to tell her how I felt. We started arguing and then I put my hands around her neck and started choking her just like Simon had done with Paula. Then I walked away and I was tackled by the police but I don't regret what I did because of what Simon did to Paula, nobody seemed to care about that." Okay, now we're forced to point to our ear and make a swirly motion. You know what that means. [Rolling Stone via Radar Online]
• Scarlett Johansson and Pete Yorn have recorded a collection of duets, on an album called Break Up. [USA Today]
• Katie Holmes will perform in Sunday's 20th anniversary National Memorial Day Concert broadcast from the West Lawn of the U.S. Capitol. She'll play the sister of an Iraq war vet. Tom and Suri will be watching. [USA Today]
• Wow: Natalie Cole's kidney came from a deceased fan. Cole has been on a long list, and was always looking for donors, and, a spokesperson says, "Having heard of Ms. Cole's need for a kidney, the family asked that one of their loved one's kidneys be transplanted to Ms. Cole if they were a match." [CNN]
• Ugh, sad: While Natalie Cole was undergoing transplant surgery, her older sister died of cancer. [Page Six]
• Breaking news: "Kim Kardashian Is Getting Ready for Bikini Season." [People]
• Mike Judge's new show, The Goode Family, mocks environmentalists and vegetarians. [WSJ]
• Ben Stiller has two films coming out this weekend: he stars in Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian, but he exec-produced a small documentary, The Boys, about brother songwriters famous for their Disney tunes. [Page Six]
• Jessica Simpson didn't use her longtime hairdresser, Ken Paves, for her Vanity Fair cover, because photographer Mario Testino insisted on his own team. Guess he didn't want big "Texas" hair. [Page Six]
• The Black Eyed Peas are releasing The E.N.D — "Energy Never Dies," but don't call it an album. Will.i.am says: "The album? Whatever. I don't listen to albums. "People don't hear music like that now. When they stopped puttin' CD players in cars, that was when I knew it was over. The tradition of gettin' 15 songs and expectin' people to hear 'em how you made 'em? That's not it any more." The E.N.D. is more like a project that evolves through remixes and fan participation. Or something. [Guardian]
• When he was 16, Simon Cowell was a 'miserable little devil' who was kicked out of school. [The Sun]
• Denise Richards' romantic life? It's complicated. She is "Dating-ish. That means not a boyfriend. When I say dating-ish, I mean no boyfriend." [Yahoo via E!]
• Robert DeNiro is a grandpa! [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which newly attached TV actress got it on with a gawky star from the same network?" [NY Daily News]
• Q: How many pairs of suspenders do you have? A: "Never counted 'em. But my guess would be—there are suspenders in New York and Washington and, of course, at my home in Los Angeles—150. But they can't be clip-ons. Every pair of pants I buy—jeans, anything—we sew in the suspender buttons." — Larry King. [Time]
• "Some people are suing us at the moment and although it was initially a bit depressing, now it's become really inspiring. You think, 'Right, if everyone's trying to take away our best song, then we'd better write 25 better ones.' And so just at the point where I was thinking about getting fat and becoming complacent, I've been finding more inspiration." — Chris Martin of Coldplay. [Rolling Stone]
• "As everybody knows, chicks dig the vampires." — Paul Wesley, star of the new CW show The Vampire Diaries. The show is produced by Kevin Williamson, the force behind Dawson's Creek.

• Rihanna's maybe moving on! But: She was seen getting cozy with Wilmer Valderrama. Isn't that dude bad news bears? He's been linked to Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Ashlee Simpson, Mandy Moore… [Mirror]

• So you know how Lindsay Lohan has a new Maserati? It's already been in a minor car accident. LL wasn't driving — her assistant hit a Subaru in front of them. [Just Jared]
• Is Angelina Jolie on a "crazy" diet called liquid detox? [The Sun]
• WTF: Nadya Suleman has fired the nurse-nannies from Angels in Waiting! She felt she was being judged or something? How the heck is she going to take care of 14 kids by herself? Seriously? [E!]
• Did Jennifer Aniston dump John Mayer over his Twitter obsession? [Daily Mail]
• This one time, Mary-Kate Olsen was driven off the road by the paparazi. "It was never written about,"she says. [Just Jared]
• Designer Rachel Roy has filed for divorce from hip-hop mogul Damon Dash. He co-founded Rocawear but has since been struggling with debt and bad business deals; she has her own line of women's clothing. They have two kids. This should be interesting. [NY Daily News]
• Jesus Luz says he did not cheat on Madonna with some random woman in Brazil: "The press created this story." Welcome to fame! [The Sun]
• Uh-oh: "Madonna's fling with Jesus Luz and her rumored hookup with A-rod may foil adoption plans." An official from Malawi's Ministry of Child Welfare says: "Our official policy is that we do not encourage our children to be sent into broken homes." [NY Daily News]
• Um, this report claims that Jesus wants to adopt a kid with Madonna. Grain of salt. [ONTD]
• Angelina Jolie's mother owes $60,000 in back taxes, despite having passed away in 2007. How do you fix that? [TMZ]
• Diablo Cody and her homies all wear matching necklaces which read "Fuck My Face." Heart-warming! [NY Mag]
• Here is a photograph of Amy Winehouse climbing over a spiked fence and being compared to Sideshow Bob. [Daily Mail]
• Lindsay Lohan's former roommate and Tila Tequila's ex-girlfriend Courtenay Semel has checked into rehab. [Page Six]
• Someone blogging as Leighton Meester but decidedly not Leighton Meester likes poetry, goes to a shrink and complains about the paparazzi. [NY Observer]
• Nicole Richie channels Lady Gaga in her pix for BlackBook. [Just Jared]
• Cindy Crawford is naked in the April issue of Allure, with some strategically placed soap bubbles. [The Superficial]
• Jessica "Slimpson"'s body "has now fully returned to its former glory" so you can all relax. [The Sun]
• Geri Halliwell is on a "man-ban." [The Star]
• Another day, another story about Hugh Grant making out with two women at the same time. In public. [Page Six]
• Kim Kardashian couldn't pronounce "philanthropic" at a charity event, and people laughed at her. Tragic! [Gatecrasher]
• Is Fergie heading to Washington to play a private concert for Sasha and Malia Obama? Is this why she is brunette now? Will she teach them to spell duchess with a T? [Gatecrasher]
• Coldplay's Chris Martin met kiddie band The Wiggles, got super psyched and them covered their song, "Fruit Salad." So punk rock. [The Sun]
• Chris Martin can't get Michael Jackson tickets! [Mirror]
• Maybe Chris Martin should bid on this Michael Jackson stuff up for auction? A Swarovski crystal-encrusted white glove could go for a mere $15,000. [NY Daily News]
• Speaking of Michael Jackson, he's invited the stars of Harry Potter to be All-Access guests opening night of his sold-out UK shows. Naturally. [The Sun]
• Anne Hathaway will play Judy Garland in an upcoming film and theater productions of Get Happy: The Life Of Judy Garland. Question is: Will she sing or lip sync? [E!]
• People. For the last time. Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are not a couple in real life. Quit asking. Sheesh. [E!]
• But hey! Meet the New Moon wolf pack! Cute teenage Native American actors! [Socialite Life]
• Amanda Seyfried has pulled out of Zack Snyder's film Sucker Punch — described as Alice in Wonderland with machine guns — due to scheduling conflicts. Who should play Baby Doll, the girl in a mental institution in this big-budget action flick? [ONTD via Slashfilm via EW]
• "Syfy" is not a new kind of hip hop from the West coast but what the Sci-Fi Channel is calling itself now. It's also Polish slang for syphilis, so people aren't kidding when they say, "Sick name." [Jossip]
• Denise Richards went to see Charlie Sheen's new twins: "They're amazing." Isn't it nice when everyone gets along? [ET]
• Ooh, recession humor: Amanda Bynes has just signed to an ABC pilot called Canned, a show about a group of friends who are all fired on the same day. [ET]
• Kiefer Sutherland has signed on to play Jack Bauer for an eight season of 24. [Mirror]
• Anna Faris is on the new cover of Self magazine; cover also shills "1 minute abs." Huh? [Just Jared]
• Chelsea Handler's last night show has been extended through 2012. Bring back Russell Brand! [Reuters]
• Oh no: Problems with NBC's Parks & Recreation? Test audiences found it "unoriginal" and "too slow." [Deadline Hollywood]
• Kenny Rogers music helps stroke victims. [Wired]
• This article about Angela Lansbury contains the following sentence: "Ms. Lansbury, who describes herself as a homebody and a working actress, is described by pretty much everyone else as a 'living legend,' a phrase that makes her want to vomit 'a little,' she conceded." [WSJ]
• Blind item! "Which TV heartthrob had to wait until a young starlet's mom walked away before he could hit on her at a party?" [Gatecrasher]
• "This movie was never meant to be the end of Hannah Montana. The thing is, a lot of people put where the show's future lays in my hands — and it's not up to me. It's up to Disney and whether they want more episodes, and we hope that they do." — Miley Cyrus. [Yahoo via Billboard]
• "I had avoided getting married pretty good for, like, 23 years, and I ... secretly felt that men who were married admired me, like I was the last of the real gunslingers." — David Letterman. [People]

• Chris Brown's management is reportedly working feverishly on ''Project Mea Culpa.'' Sources say he and Rihanna will co-author a book about abuse and go on talk shows.

• "The only way Chris can possibly reverse things is to come clean and help raise awareness about abusive relationships,'' said a source close to his legal team, who added that part of the deal is that he'll pay Rihanna as much as $10 million ''if he as much as squeezes her arm the wrong way." [Chicago Sun-Times]
• A L.A. judge filed a protective order against Chris Brown yesterday and TMZ has a copy. It allows Rihanna to record her phone conversations with Chris. Also, he must not "harass, strike, threaten, assault (sexually or otherwise), follow, stalk, molest, destroy or damage personal or real property, disturb the peace, keep under surveillance, or block movements of" Rihanna.[TMZ]
• Rihanna's lawyer says she'll testify against Chris Brown if she's required to, but didn't say how Rihanna wants the case to turn out. "The fact is, Rihanna desires that it be quick and expeditious," said her lawyer. "She wants to get back to her life and her career." [Us]
• Chris Brown was at the SLS Hotel in Beverly Hills last night but he wasn't partying. He was there for a dinner business meeting with a man who works in the music industry and didn't drink. [TMZ]
• Blogger Ben Barna claimed that singer Nikki Jean was the woman who sent Chris text messages that ignited his assault, but she sent him a Facebook message saying she hasn't seen or spoken to Rihanna or Chris in six months. Barna apologized. [Black Book]
• More than 1,100 pages of documents have been released in the Caylee Anthony case including images from her mother's computer. Casey Anthony had saved on the computer pictures of skulls and a drawing of two skeletons locked in an embrace and a photo of Caylee with a heart-shaped sticker similar to the one found on her body. [People]
• Kristen Stewart has been criticized for not attending the Oscars to support Twilight co-star Robert Pattinson, but she has a good reason: She wasn't invited. "If I was invited to the Oscars, I would be there in a nanosecond," she says. "If I got an invitation to the Oscars, I wouldn't turn it down!" [E!]
• Lauren Conrad says she's leaving The Hills because she's tired of leading a double life. "You see us on the show and we appear to have seminormal lives, but if you watch any entertainment news show, half of the cast is being swarmed by paparazzi," says Lauren. "I'm excited to go back to having just one life, because there were times that I got them confused." [Us]
• As Pamela Anderson was modeling a Vivienne Westwood gown on the runway with the designer, her top popped open exposing her breast. Yeah, there are pictures. [The Sun]
• Zac Efron's mom talked to him about why he and girlfriend Vanessa Hudgens were photographed looking at sex toys. "My stocking was full of condoms this Christmas," he says. "She buys me the economy box." [People]
• Sienna Miller was kicked in the face by a horse as a child. She pointed out the scar to Jay Leno last night, but frankly, we can't see it. [The Daily Mail]
• Charles Barkley's jail time for driving drunk has been reduced from five days to three for reasons unknown. [TMZ]
• Charlize Theron's former dance teacher called in to a British talk show and revealed the South African's childhood secrets. "She always had these entrepreneurial skills and she used to buy sweets from the school tuck shop and sell them at night to hungry children for a profit. We thought it was wonderful - we, her teachers, thought that showed gumption," said the teacher. "Oh my god, Bernice! This in insane!" said Theron. "I don't remember selling candy at a profit! I did start drinking at a very early age, so my memory is a bit dodgy." [The Daily Express]
• The Daily Beast dug up a 2007 ABC interview with Robin Givens, who spent years in an abusive relationship with Mike Tyson, for insight into the Chris/Rihanna situation. She said: "With Michael, I felt like I had a purpose. I really felt like I had to protect him and love him and convince him that the world can be an okay place - I wanted to love all of his hurts and all of his pain away." [The Daily Beast]
• Coolio has been arrested at LAX for crack possession. [TMZ]
• Amy Winehouse is trying to pass her road test so she can drive a cute vintage car. "Amy's looking for things to do to keep her away from the temptation of drink and drugs," says a friend. [The Sun]
• Dame Judi Dench, Dame Helen Mirren, and "honorary Brit" Gillian Anderson are included on a list of the 20 most powerful women in British theater. [The Telegraph]
• There are rumors of a Broadway production of Sex and the City but Cynthia Nixon says that it's not going to happen because the excitement of seeing the cast on stage would be too much for fans. "It would be really hard for people to even see just two of us together on a stage. That would be way too distracting!" [The Daily Express]
• Denise Richards says this isn't the first time she's been asked to be on Dancing With The Stars. "When they asked me to do it originally, my mom was still [alive] and both my parents were like, 'You're going to get voted off right away because women hate you,' " says Richards, "And I thought, 'They're right. This may not be a good time to do the show.' Granted, a lot of them still hate me, but hopefully they hate me less. Time has gone by." [E!]
• Devo will perform their 1978 album "Are We Not Men?" in full for the first time at a concert in London in May. [Yahoo]
• Krist Novoselic says there are no more unreleased Nirvana songs. "What there is, is video," Novoselic. "There's a lot of video. There's not going to be any new Nirvana records." [AP]
• "I do feel in my twenties I did way too much... I didn't realise I could say 'no'. It was like someone shot a gun and I just kept running and running... until I completely lost the desire to work. I felt like I had nothing to say. Then a lot of things happened in my life. My father died. I met my husband. I had a baby. And I thought, 'There's actually a real life to be had here that has nothing to do with Hollywood and all of these people and all of this negativity.'" - Gwyneth Paltrow. [The Independent]
• The Bachelor, Jason Mesnick appeared on Ellen today as part of his apology tour for switching fiances on the show. He said: "I think what I want to do is to apologize to everybody out there. All the fans of the show because thank you for watching, but this was my real life and it was the hardest thing I had to do. And I made some big mistakes and that's what I wanted to sit here and talk about today-the mistakes that I made. But in the end I found my true love." [Yahoo]

• Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady were wed yesterday in Santa Monica. The bride wore Dolce & Gabbana, and so did her three dogs. [Us Magazine]

• A source claims that often, and especially towards the end of the marriage, Guy Ritchie would call Madonna "It." As in "It's in a bad mood today." And "We can't make It angry." This paper has a helpful illustration of Cousin Itt wearing a pointy bra. [The Sun]
• Blake is no longer incarcerated! Amy Winehouse's husband got out of jail yesterday and says of the divorce: "It's all going ahead - but I don't really know what will happen." And! "It's just nice to be on the outside again. Now I am going to get over my drug habit." Amy, who is still in St. Lucia, may return to London to try and "save her marriage." Really? [The Sun]
• Will Chris Brown go to jail? Will the charges ever be filed? Is his crime a misdemeanor or a felony? So many questions, not enough answers. [People]
• Robert Pattinson and Hugh Jackman went out and did karaoke together in Tokyo. Ten bucks says they sang nothing but show tunes. [E!]
• Daniel Radcliffe took a "mystery brunette" out on a date and the paps were there to make things even more awkward! [Daily Mail]
• Remember how Jeremy Piven abruptly quit Speed-The Plow? A grievance hearing took place yesterday, but no agreement was reached. Will producers take it to court? [AP]
• Piven says he dropped out of the play after being examined by a "Harvard-educated cardiologist affiliated with Yale." So there. [TMZ]
• Piven cried twice during the 20 minute hearing and said he'd been "incredibly sick." [NY Times]
• Producers failed to prove that Piven should not have dropped out of the play. [People]
• Initiation ceremonies require Princes William and Harry to drink through a straw from a toilet filled with beer and strip naked to run the length of the runway at the Royal Air Force base in Lincolnshire. This is how you "earn your drinking wings" or something. [The Sun]
• So you know the little girl who played Latika in Slumdog? Rubina Ali? Her parents had to be pulled apart after brawling with each other at her homecoming yesterday. A neighbor says: "They were hitting each other and tearing each other's clothes off." Apparently her mom walked out when Rubina was four, leaving her father to care for her, and her father called the mom a "money grabber." Countered the mother: "I'm not here for money, I just want to celebrate the success." [The Sun]
• Crap: Azharuddin Mohammed, the ten-year-old boy who played young Salim in Slumdog was beaten by his father yesterday. He was tired from his flight from L.A. and refused his father's request to leave their shack and face the media; his father started hitting him. There's a picture of the kid crying. [Daily Mail]
• Even though Jewel hurt her knees while rehearsing, producers are "desperate" to keep her on Dancing With The Stars. [MSNBC]
• Early word is that Lil' Kim is the one to beat on Dancing With The Stars. Can't wait to see her costumes! [People]
• Russell Simmons has agreed to pay $40,000 a month in child support to Kimora Lee Simmons. She has sole custody of their 2 daughters. And now: Gobs of cash. [AP]
• Loving, loving Beyoncé's hair on the April 2009 cover of Ebony! [The Life Files]
• LOL: please just look at the expression on his face in these high school yearbook pictures of Will Ferrell! [TMZ]
• Jodie Foster was caught speeding, and it was caught on tape, but the footage won't be shown. Apparently she got "annoyed," "angry" and "agitated" with the cops. [Page Six]
• Critics are praising U2's new album even as they critique Bono. Writes Washington Post's J. Freedom du Lac: "It's becoming increasingly difficult to hear U2's music without filtering it through your feelings about the other Bono, that strident, sanctimonious swirl of idealism, agenda and ego." [Reuters]
• If you're interested in the 1996 audition that changed Edward Norton's life, click the link at the end of this sentence. [ET]
• This is interesting: A film version of the musical Damn Yankees will star Jim Carrey and Jake Gyllenhaal. Who will play Lola? You know that whatever Lola wants, Lola gets. [Variety]
• Not sure why this behind the scenes video of Mischa Barton at a photoshoot is so dull, maybe because she has the same blank expression in every scene. [BlackBook]
• No idea what Woody Allen's new flick is about, but the cast is intriguing: Antonio Banderas, Freida Pinto, Naomi Watts, Josh Brolin and Anthony Hopkins. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Pink. Dolly Parton. Rocking chairs. For sale! [USA Today]
• The conflict between Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards has died down. So says Charlie's younger brother Ramon Estevez, whom I did not know existed. [E!]
• George Lucas will produce his first film, post-Star Wars. It's based on the famed Tuskegee Airmen. [Fox 411]
• The Coen brothers have a new film, and it's a short, fake commercial slamming the coal industry. [Guardian]
• MC Hammer's new TV show, Hammertime, will give viewers a glimpse of his life as "as a businessman, computer geek, proud father and husband." No word on whether he is too legit to quit. [AP]
• Jermaine Jackson is working on getting custody of his sons after one told a teacher that his mother had been slapping him repeatedly across the face. [RadarOnline]
• This didn't get a lot of press, but people in wheelchairs protested the Academy giving Jerry Lewis a humanitarian award at the Oscars because they object to the way he talks about "the cripples." Producers actually tried to make sure the foreign press wouldn't write about the incident. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Ann and Nancy Wilson of Heart will get a lifetime achievement award from songwriter's group ASCAP. [Reuters]
• Paul Newman was given a posthumous honour by the US Congress on Tuedsay. [Reuters]
• Be honest: How do we feel about the fact that Eddie Murphy will play Richard Pryor in a biopic? [Guardian]
• Blind item! "Which angry comic had a few cast and crew members fired from his hit show - all because they overshadowed him?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I think that what I'm getting to explore is really the heart of a woman. And I can't say that about everything that I've done. Or maybe I've explored the heart of a woman, but it's been like skating on ice. You know, often you don't get to swim in it. It's an in-depth exploration, and kind of a close-up look at a woman, at all the different ways that she… I think in a way it's about love. You know? It's about love… all the different ways that she loves and whether those loves are acceptable or not." — Holly Hunter, on Saving Grace. [The Daily Beast]
• "I know that Ben Stiller for example, he watches American Idol and he'll email me: 'Hey, who got kicked off?' you know, the night it's on. I'm like, dude — I can't tell you, sorry, you're gonna have to watch. Coming up tonight on prime time!" — Ryan Seacrest, on Idol's celeb fans. [Mirror]
• "It's particularly distressing to me to observe that we're fine with these young women, who it normally is, who are chased, stalked, put under siege by battalions of strange men who sleep in their car and follow them and take pictures up their skirts, and when they throw the dummy out or whatever, everyone thinks they've gone mad. I would defy anyone not to be affected by what is, I think, harassment really. I just think it's slightly below a moral code that I have as a man or as a human being. To chase people, it just seems very bestial." — Rupert Friend, aka Keira Knightley's hottie boyfriend, who is in two films of his own this spring. [Independent]
• "I did not kiss her. She kissed me. We had fun." — Teri Hatcher, on her on-screen smooch with Eva Longoria Parker for Desperate Housewives. [Mirror]
• "At times I was incapable of getting enough oxygen to get my lines out on stage, and sometimes I'd forget where I was in the play. This misconception that I was out partying was wrong. My problem was that as soon as I woke up, I wanted to figure out a way to get back into bed." — Jeremy Piven. [NY Times]
• "Ty said he thinks his best chance of beating me is if I get pregnant during the show so I would be too tired to dance. Talk about a strategy! Of course, that would be fine with me if it did happen, so either way would be a win!" — Jewel, on competing against her husband, Ty Murray on Dancng With The Stars. [People]
• "We pay millions and millions of dollars in tax. The thing that stung us [about the criticism] was the accusation of hypocrisy for my work as an activist. I can understand how people outside the country wouldn't understand how Ireland got to its prosperity but everybody in Ireland knows that there are some very clever people in the Government and in the Revenue who created a financial architecture that prospered the entire nation – it was a way of attracting people to this country who wouldn't normally do business here. And the financial services brought billions of dollars every year directly to the exchequer. What's actually hypocritical is the idea that then you couldn't use a financial services centre in Holland. The real question people need to ask about Ireland's tax policy is: ‘Was the nation a net gain benefactor?' And of course it was – hugely so." — Bono, on the criticism of U2 moving part of its business to the Netherlands to lessen its tax burden. [Irish Times]
• "If you get knocked down, setbacks in life, like applying for a job if they don't hire you, keep trying, keep getting up, keep doing it. Don't give up, that's what it's about. I'm so tough and so bad, I can be humble and lift another guy up." — Mr. T, giving advice to the unemployed. [Mirror]
• "'Brown Eyed Girl' I didn't perform for a long time because for me it was like a throwaway song. I've got about 300 other songs I think are better than that." — from 10 questions with Van Morrison. [Time]
• "Hmm, [how to add] a sexy sizzle to your look? Well high heels are probably the easiest thing, I would say. Instant glamour. Walking around in them naked, you don't need anything else really." — Dita Von Teese. [Daily Express]
• "I hope it won't change anything in how other directors and actors work with me. I mean, the Oscar's going in the loo, next to Sam's. I'm not taking it on a set. I'm just going to work the way I've always worked, which is just to get on with it." — Kate Winslet on her Academy Award. [Daily Mail]

• Following Chris Brown's arrest for making criminal threats (possibly to Rihanna), his commercials for Doublemint gum have been pulled from the air. He's also hired a lawyer known for some very high profile cases.

• Brown hired attorney Mark Geragos, best known for defending convicted murderer Scott Peterson, Winona Ryder after her 2001 shoplifting arrest, and Michael Jackson during his child molestation trial. Wrigley's gum has issued a statement saying they are "concerned by the serious allegations made against Chris Brown" and are suspending their ads until the charges are cleared. [People, Extra]
• Rihanna's rep issued a statement saying, "Rihanna is well. Thank you for concern and support." [Entertainment Tonight]
• Tameka Raymond, Usher's wife, is now in stable condition after suffering complications during "routine" surgery in Brazil, according to her rep. [People]
• Travis Barker says he left the hospital too soon after surviving a fatal LearJet crash. "I kind of rushed out of the hospital and my hand was numb, but I didn't tell anybody," he said. "I just wanted to get out." He has now had surgery to repair the nerve damage and will be in recovery for another 8 to 10 weeks. [Extra]
• An insider claims that the reason Kate Hudson is trapped in romantic comedy hell is that she doesn't pick her own projects. Decisions are made by her team of agents managers, and boyfriends-du-jour. "They choose what they think is best for her, "says the source. "They've made a lot of wrong decisions." [E!]
• Also, Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson: back on. Does that mean he gets a say in her career again? [People]
• Over the weekend Peaches Geldof announced her divorce from Max Drummey. Now sources reveal that she has been dating the Virgins frontman Donald Cumming for weeks and "couldn't care less about Max." [The Daily Mail]
• Is this video of Michael Cera flipping out on the set of his new movie real, or an homage to Christian Bale? Either way, there is something deeply unsettling about seeing George Michael act like such a brat. [Perez Hilton]
• The lawyer in Jodie Sweetin's custody case ordered drug tests for Sweetin and her estranged husband. Both are drug free. [People]
• Apparently Katy Perry's family provided some not-so-flattering childhood photos of her to CBS. In retaliation, she posted an unflattering picture of her red-haired sister on her blog, writing, "Wow. look at that tender mess. We're sorry all the gingers are going extinct. We salute you for you braveness of being a ginge." [The Daily Express]
• Denise Richards says of being a contestant on the new season of Dancing With The Stars, "All I hope is that I don't embarrass my girls!" It may be a little late for that. [People]
• Medical professionals were shocked by Oprah's endorsement of Suzanne Somers' theories on horomone replacement therapy on a recent show. Says one doctor: "Oprah is the most influential woman in the world, and I don't think she comprehends the amount of damage she has done to women's health. I came away feeling like Oprah really didn't understand the issue. Personally, I feel like she has set us back 100 years." [Newsweek]
• Two months after his arrest for drunk driving, Charles Barkley has finally admitted that he was wrong, saying, "It was stupid, and it was 100 percent my fault.'' [TMZ]
• Halle Berry says of Gabriel Aubry, her boyfriend and father of her daughter Nahla, "I feel more married now than I did in any of my actual marriages. We live the truth of that and that's more important than a piece of paper." [People]
• Woody Harrelson says making a film about the work of U.S. army casualty notification officers has given him more respect and compassion for soldiers. "I've been an outspoken peace activist for good reason. But what was missing from my own philosophy was a real understanding of what these soldiers go through," said Harrelson. [Reuters]
• Steve Harvey's relationship advice book, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment has been out for less than two weeks, but has already sold more than half of its initial print run. [The Wall Street Journal]
• Miss Piggy on why she'd never enter politics: "I've considered politics, but frankly I think they've already got way too many divas. And besides, when you're a celebrity of moi's magnitude, anything worth doing is worth having someone else do for you." [Publisher's Weekly]
• Hollywood screenwriters are itching to make a movie about Sarah Palin's clan! Milk writer Dustin Lance Black says he would like to write about Palin because he's "interested in great characters." But The Visitor writer Todd McCarty, says he would focus any movie he makes on the teenager who impregnated Palin's 17-year-old daughter Bristol, saying, "there's a dark comedy there somewhere." [The Daily Express]
• "My grandmother is basically blind, but she can make out the lighter parts, like my skin and hair. She says, "I can see you, because you have no pants on." So I'll continue to wear no pants so that my grandma can see me." - Lady GaGa [Perez Hilton]

[Santa Monica, December 28. Image via INF]

[Los Angeles, CA, December 24. Image via INF.]

20.) Bobby Brown Farts On Carnie Wilson, Pees On Dee Snider
Bobby Brown took a half-hearted stab at earning a pay check and having a country music career via the reality show Gone Country, in which he lived with other out-of-work celebs down South and competed for a record contract. In this clip, he gets drunk, eats ribs, farts and pees.

19.) Teen Bathes, Then Bonds With Senior Citizen
Baby Borrowers was a social experiment in the form of a reality show that was supposed to teach teenagers how hard it is to raise a family and run a household. For some reason, one of the episodes called for the teens to care for senior citizens, maybe to scare them off of the burden of dealing with elderly parents later on down the road. In this clip, a teen has to bathe her senior ward, and then they have a touching conversation about the generational differences of filing nails square or rounded.

18.) Meet The Two Most Effective Forms Of Birth Control
Some episodes of Supernanny are scarier than horror movies. In this clip, two little terrors defiantly pick their noses and wipe the boogers on a wall, physically abuse their mother and say terrifying things like, "I have a dick and a weenie in my weenie," and "I'm gonna fuck you in your privates one day!"

17.) Vagina Insults Are The New "Ya Momma"
MTV's That's Amore — the spin-off of Shot at Love with Tila Tequila — featured women who incessantly talked about other women's vaginas.

16.) American Idol Contestant Who Looks Like Willem Dafoe With Face Glitter
Alexis Cohen was one of those "bad" auditions featured during the open-call leg of American Idol. They're always easy targets, but her working knowledge of the English language and her literal glittery attempt at polishing a turd made her the best of the worst.

15.) Stage Mom Has Violent, Psychotic Outburst
Rocky, stage mother to Haley, from VH1's I Know My Kid's a star first won our hearts when she asked her daughter if her tampon string was visibly hanging below her miniskirt. This freak out sealed the deal.

14.) Woman With A Half Wig Cries About It
Kim from Real Housewives of Atlanta attracted attention and confusion over her hair — an obvious wig that did not match the color of the natural bangs in the front. Her attempt at clearing the matter up (she had cancer!) only confused everyone more (wait, she only thought she had cancer!).

13.) Pussylicious
The reality show in which women compete for a spot (that's actually never given to them) in the the Pussycat Dolls lineup was called Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious, which obviously needed to be shortened to "pussylicious." Especially after one girl's introduction included her saying, "I'm Cassandra. I'm from Aurora, Illinois, I live in Chicago now, and I have a tattoo of cherries on my hoo-ha." Later, another girl gets injured and is forced to dance in her wheelchair.

12.) Women Past Their Prime Audition For Modeling Competition
She's Got the Look was supposed to be America's Next Top Model for the over-35 set. In this clip its obvious that there were reasons beyond their age that have kept these women from working the runway.

11.) Corey Haim Doesn't Understand Why Everyone He Knows Wants Him To Go To Rehab
It's always ridiculous/sad when addicts who can't fully open their eyes or articulate words think that they are fooling everyone. It's double ridiculous when it's someone like Corey Haim who has had a long public history of drug addiction.

10.) Is This Lady's Husband Gay?
Alex and her husband Simon were the breakout stars of Real Housewives of New York. They were attached at the hip, obsessed with teaching their uncooperative children French, and dropped $20k on opera tickets even though their Brooklyn brownstone was literally falling apart. But the question on everyone's mind was whether or not Speedo-wearing Simon is gay or just simply European.

9.) Women Get Wasted, Puke, Break Dishes, & Hock Loogies
This scene from Charm School: Rock of Love was the most entertaining display of drunken behavior since Bret took the girls to Vegas on season one.

8.) Stripper Mom And Porn Star Have Threesome With Dude, While Another Girl Mistakes Couch For Toilet
Scratch that! This is the was the most entertaining display of drunken behavior, brought to us by those classy roommates of Bad Girls Club.

7.) Flavor Flav Draws The Line At Herpes
As though he doesn't have the virus himself.

6.) The Matchmaker & The Mafia
Intervention is supposed to be a poignant, serious show about addiction, however, some of the characters — like this Italian woman who comes from a family who is part of "The Family" — make us smile.

5.) Denise Richards Calls A Celebrity Journalist A Cunt
As much as Denise Richards: It's Complicated sucked, it was fun to see the real reason behind why the tabloids are so hard on her.

4.) Brooke Hogan Is A Sexist Moron
The irony of her show being titled Brooke Knows Best escaped no one. In this clip, she reveals that her thoughts on politics, and how women's menstrual cycles makes them unfit to serve as President.

3.) America's Next Top Model Is A Menstrual Show
Per Tyra Banks' advice, women should bend over and wince in pain, as though they have menstrual cramps, in order to look "editorial."

2.) Terrifying Texas Mom Shows "Pansy" Husband Who's Boss
Wife Swap is a reliable source when looking to investigate the weirdos of America.

1.) Bikini Corie
The best elimination speech in competition-based reality TV programming ever, courtesy of Paris Hilton's My New BFF.

• Guy Richie and Madonna have agreed to put their custody battle aside for one day in order to spend Christmas at Richie's estate, so that their children can spend the holiday with both parents. [DailyMail]

• Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards' two daughters were involved in a four-car collision Friday, but are said to be doing just fine. " Sheen "said it could have been much worse," his publicist, Stan Rosenfield, says,"They were in their car seats, and he is extremely grateful for the safety features from Mercedes.” [People]

• Was jealousy over a gift the motive behind the murders of Jennifer Hudson's mother, brother, and nephew? [People]

• Paul Anka's wife, Anna, has been accused of attacking the "Puppy Love" singer with a giant block of ice. According to Page Six, "The flying frozen missile hit him square in the skull, opening such a large gash that Anka had to go to the hospital." [PageSix]

• The family of James Bland, one of the pilots who died piloting the plane crash that injured Travis Barker and DJ AM is speaking out on their son's behalf: ""We know the investigation will eventually show they weren't negligent," says Bland's sister, Laura Martz, "James took piloting very seriously. If he felt the plane wasn't maintained properly, he would've refused to fly that day. Whatever happened on the runway, I'm sure it was beyond [the pilots'] control." [People]

• Kate Moss' boyfriend, Jamie Hince, has put his foot down about Kate's partying and is demanding that she forgo New Year's Eve celebrations so that the couple can spend the evening with Moss' five-year-old daughter, Lila. "‘Jamie says Kate needs to calm her lifestyle down but she seems to have no intention of doing so. She just wants to party all the time," says a source. [DailyMail]

• Will Smith is vowing to get back into the real world after living a somewhat isolated celebrity life. "''I sat there with my children and my 16-year-old son couldn't understand how I didn't know (the election) was over already. He was like 'You're out of touch,''' Smith says. [NYTimes]

• Chris Brown is busy writing songs for Rhianna: “I actually have a couple of songs written already that would be dope collaborations between me and her," Brown says, "And I’m writing for her new album now!”[Just Jared]

• Pulp Fiction screenwriter Roger Avary has been charged with gross vehicular manslaughter. [E!]

• Playboy has issued an apology for the now-infamous "Virgin Mary" cover. "While Playboy Mexico never meant for the cover or images to offend anyone, we recognize that it has created offense, and we as well as Playboy Mexico offer our sincerest apologies," says Raul Sayrols, publisher of Playboy Mexico, "The image is not and never was intended to portray the Virgin of Guadalupe or any other religious figure. The intent was to reflect a Renaissance-like mood on the cover."[Reuters]

• Whitney Port is already dissing the Hills, noting that NYC guys are much better than the ones she left behind in L.A.: ""I was recently in L.A., and I couldn’t help but think, 'Oh my gosh, everyone is kind of the exact same here. You have all these guys in the entertainment industry who are just trying to be smooth and super-cool," Port says, "The guys [in New York] are [still] trying to be cool — guys do that everywhere — but they're more confident and they know what they want." [US Magazine]

• Keanu Reeves is a bit jealous of Hugh Jackman:"I had a little actor envy when Hugh Jackman got to play Wolverine and I didn't," Reeves says, "The claws are cool and I liked his fortitude and honor." [ONTD]

• Scarlett Johansson claims she never opened up about her marriage to Ryan Reynolds to UK Cosmopolitan. Her rep calls it an "obvious attempt...to gain monetarily by misinforming their readers."[E!]

• No Doubt fans: the band will kick off their world tour with an appearance at the Bamboozle Festival in NJ on May 3. [No Doubt]

• "A mother recently gave me her baby and asked, 'Can you please bite his head?'" - Robert Pattinson. Well, that's what happens when you become a sparkly vampire. Nobody would have asked Cedric Diggory a thing like that! [Page Six]

• Move over Jon Stewart, Hugh Jackman will be hosting this year's Oscars! "Hugh is the ideal choice to host a celebration of the year’s movies – and to have fun doing it." says a flack. [Deadline Hollywood]

• Kate Winslet is offended by speculation that her 30-year-old character in The Reader is a child abuser for having an affair with a 15-year-old. "To me, that is absolutely not this story at all. That boy knows exactly what he's doing. And, for a start, Hanna Schmitz thinks that he's 17, not 15, you know? She's not doing anything wrong. They enter that relationship on absolutely equal footing. Statutory rape? Really, please, don't use that phrase…This is a beautiful and very genuine love story and that is how I always saw it," Winslet says. [UPI]
• Despite earlier reports, Pete Wentz swears up and down that he and Ashlee do not want to hock their photos of newborn Bronx to the highest bidder. "Truth is like every celeb couple we were offered
  mounds and mounds of money by mags from here to Guam to pimp out the baby. We just don’t want to go down that road with him," Wentz says on his blog. [Perez]
• Zooey Deschanel's fake band in the movie Yes Man is called Munchausen By Proxy Syndrome, and it's actually not half bad. [NYM]
• Rufus Wainwright is one gay guy who will not be joining the fight against Prop 8: "Oddly enough, I’m actually not a huge gay marriage supporter," Rufus says. "I personally don’t want to get married but I think that any law or amendment to the constitution that deals with sex and love should just be banned in general. I don’t think any government should encroach on what goes on in the bedroom at all. Frankly, if you want to marry a dog, why don’t you go ahead and marry a dog, I don’t care. I’m a complete libertarian and so I really disagree with it." [Perez]
• Rut roh. Allegedly Denise Richards is in dire financial straits. "She's willing to do just about anything and take any role that's not pure porn," says a source. [TMZ]
• Rumors abound that Axl Rose has Anthropophobia, or loosely, he's afraid of people, and has been avoiding interviews and his management as a result. His flacks deny it, saying, "He has not been diagnosed with anthropophobia. He hasn't fired Front Line, and no interviews have been canceled." It does sound sort of far-fetched. [Perez]
• Aw, 9-year-old Angelina Salaiz got to meet her hero, Mariah Carey, earlier today on CBS's morning show. We bet they bonded over a shared love of Hello Kitty and butterflies. [CBS News]
• Is the world ready for a Mel Gibson comeback? Um E! Online says yes, because he grew a mustache. Yeah…ok. [E! Online]
• K-Fed was out bowling and he kissed a mystery lady. Riveting news! [TMZ]

• In her new documentary, in addition to all the stuff about Groundhog Day, Britney Spears also talks about Kevin Federline: "I think I married for the wrong reasons. Instead of following my heart and doing something that made me really happy, I just did it for the idea of [marriage and] everything." Knowing is half the battle! [Perez Hilton, NY Daily News]
• Watch promos for Britney's documentary. In one, she says, "I… look back and I think, I'm a smart person. What the hell was I thinking?" [Perez Hilton]
• Someone else says of Valkyrie: "The film just isn’t a thriller at all. It’s a bunch of white guys in Nazi uniforms." And yes, Tom has an American accent. [MSNBC]
• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson: on the rocks. Last night in London, LL danced with her ex, Calum Best, whom Moe used to call Calum Worst. Anyways, Sam was pissed and stormed off in a huff. Lindsay was seen with tears in her eyes. Sniff. [The Sun]

• Tom Cruise gives the infamous Heil Hitler salute in his new flick, Valkyrie, and some find it hilarious. "It’s an unsettling scene but you almost start to laugh," a source says. "His character is resisting it but you never forget it’s Tom Cruise saying 'Heil Hitler.' It’s funny and shocking at the same time." [MSNBC]
• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes celebrated their second anniversary a day early at home in Los Angeles with daughter Suri, 2, as well as Isabella, 15, and Connor, 13, yawn yawn yawn. [People]
• Beyoncé is still in shock about dancing with Justin Timberlake on Saturday Night Live: "I still can't believe he did that. He was incredible," she says. "We rehearsed it two times. He picked up the choreography. He has this photographic memory. He could probably kill it if he wanted to." OMG yes! Does anyone smell a tour? [People]
• Alec Baldwin on kissing Jennifer Aniston for 30 Rock: "It was painful. I mean, every man who's had to make out with her in TV and movies — I don't know how they do it." Baldwin was also asked if unstable women are better in bed. "That's assuming I've been with crazy women," he said. "If I answer that question in the affirmative, that would type a woman I've been with as being crazy, which I don't really feel like doing. But I hear it's true. I hear from my friends it's true. I will say this on the record," he said before fleeing. "I've never slept with a crazy man." [NY Mag]
• Brad Pitt is on Oprah today! He'll be telling O how fatherhood has changed him: "[I'm] tough as nails. I’m impervious to poo, snot, urine, vomit. You can’t get me. You cannot break me down." [E!]
• Angelina on breastfeeding twins: "It's very hard. I stopped at three months, [it was] about as much as I could do. There's this football hold – it's a lot harder than it looks in the books. I did that a few times. I would take turns. It just takes a long time." [People]
• Are Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin on the rocks? She went to the Victoria's Secret show in Miami, and a source bitches: "She spent the summer filming a TV show in Spain with Mario Batali and now, instead of hanging out with her husband, she goes to a Victoria's Secret show? Really? Gwyneth doesn't have anything to do with Victoria's Secret. If things were so great with Chris, why wouldn't she be with him?" [Page Six]
• The Heath Ledger/freelancer/video lawsuit is a go. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Warner Bros has rolled out its first Oscar specific ad, a "For Your Consideration" poster urging awards voters to nominate Heath Ledger's performance as The Joker for an Academy Award. They're comparing his role to that of Anthony Hopkins, who won in 1992 for playing Hannibal Lecter in The Silence of the Lambs. [News.com.au]
• Billy Ray Cyrus says Miley Cyrus and her pal Justin Gaston are great together: "I'll tell you what – they are great friends, and they make a good team. They write a lot of songs together, and they sing – it's incredible. I always tell her that as long as she's having fun, then it's working." Wait, what? [Perez Hilton]
• Miley says: "I think you have to be really careful about the people you trust." And what about Justin Gaston? "He's a singer, he's really cute, and he's nice and he's a Christian and I really like that." [People]
• More from Miley! "I would want to be on a reality show like The Real World because I think that's crazy. Anyone who would do that has some serious guts." She says being followed everywhere by paparazzi "is like a free reality show, I just don't get paid for it. Sometimes I'm not looking my best. I look like a mess, and I'm like I don't want my picture taken right now. I get comments like, ‘She's not looking her best today,' and I'm like, ‘I know, I'm not trying to impress you!'" [E!]
• Blind items! 1. Which Park Avenue socialite split from her husband when she discovered that he'd been enjoying secret conjugal relations with one of her best friends for years? 2. Which hit television show sidekick kicked an aspiring actress out of his cab after she refused to go to his apartment with him to "cuddle over milk and cookies"? 3. Which longtime New York basketball legend, whose wife handles his business, has gone bankrupt twice? 4. Which talk-show host has a flatulence problem so bad, he's said to have an assistant follow him around with an odor-vaporizing spray can? [Page Six]
• Jessica Simpson says Tony Romo is "the whole package." Plus! "He's taught me to calm down a lot," Jess says. "I'm not organized and he's not organized either – but [he] does make me want to be organized for us." Fascinating. [People]
• So. You know how Joaquin Phoenix is retiring from acting? He can't get enough of the camera, actually: He's filming a documentary of his transition from acting to music. But it's real, see? Not acting. [E!]
• Michael Jackson paid £25,000 a session, for a total of £175,000 to see a "mind-mapping" guru to help him with his stage fright and creativity. The guru gets his clients to draw colorful maps. £175,000 for crayons? [The Sun]
• Here's more about the "brain guru." [NY Daily News]
• Um, Michael Jackson's nanny is in hiding. [Fox 411]
• Barack Obama's win is encouraging Gillian Anderson to leave London and move back to her native America. [Daily Express]
• Uh-oh, baby wipes enthusiast Terrence Howard has a crush on gorgeous model Noemie Lenoir. Is she "clean" enough for him? Also, they could be brother and sister, what with the skin and eyes. [Page Six]
• Is Anne Hathaway dating yet another loser? [Page Six]
• Rihanna and Chris Brown now have matching tattoos. [Concrete Loop]
• Serena Williams as the Black Racket is pretty much the best silly stoopid thing you will see today. [The.Life Files]
• Crap, Will Smith is doing a remake of Korean movie Old Boy, which is awesome just the way it is. [Reuters]
• Denise Richards was asked about the Angelina vs. Aniston feud and got all pissy, replying: "You know what? Their life is none of my business. My life has been public, and I think everyone should mind their own business about people's relationships, to be honest. It's between them!" Don't worry honey, soon people will stop for your your opinion. You'll miss it! [E!]
• Natasha Bedingfield: "Romance is female Viagra!" Sorry, explain? "In reality, relationships have ups and downs. If someone is worth enough to you, then you both fight to stay true through the tough times. Advice to guys: Keep the romance alive. Simple things like giving flowers or remembering special dates may sound cheesy but they do work." Oh, see, she's engaged and giddy. [People]
• Heather Mills is sick of the invasion of privacy, people! She's filed six complaints against Britloids: The Sun, Daily Mail, Daily Express and London Lite. [Guardian]
• Some dude claims a Martha Stewart lounge chair collapsed on him, crushing his right index finger. The tip of his finger allegedly fell beneath a deck and was eventually retrieved by a family member. He's suing Martha. Oh, and he says his life is ruined because he's a banjo player. And a hand model. [TMZ]
• Little Britain USA: Being renewed. Computer says yes. [The Sun]
• Click to see Kristen Johnston in a PETA ad against horse-drawn carriages. She's naked, but covered a la lady Godiva. [ONTD]
• You've been waiting for this: Whitney Port is launching her official site soon. Okay, maybe you haven't been waiting, but it's happening anyway. [Socialite Life]
• As previously reported, Rashida Jones is joining The Untitled Amy Poehler Show. Now we know she will play a nurse named Ann. this is all we know. [E!]
• If you watch CSI: Miami, you'll be delighted or disappointed to find out that Sean "Diddy" Combs will make a two-episode appearance, and not as a corpse. Puff will play a prosecutor. [Yahoo News]
• What the world needs now: A Vegas revue starring Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown. "Think Spice Girls meets Showgirls." The project is called "Peep Show" and promises to be "very sexy and very girl power." [Perez Hilton]
• Antonia Kidman, Nicole's sister and a single mom, had a coffee date. That's what this story is about. [News.com.au]
• NFL star Tom Brady is working on rehabbing his injured knee, and while he recovers, a source spills, "No distractions and no Gisele." But doesn't supermodel glamazon Ms. Bundchen heal all wounds??? [Boston Herald]
• David Beckham will only stay with AC Milan for three months before returning to the Los Angeles Galaxy; the Italians are not trying to keep him. [The Independent]
• Russell Brand's stand up show in New York includes jokes about groping the Queen's breasts. He also encourages the audience: "Feel free to approach me for sex." [The Sun]
• Alicia Silverstone, author! Her book, The Kind Diet, comes out next year; it "explores the connection between what we put in our bodies and what we’re doing to the planet, and how choosing the right foods in the kitchen can help you feeling lighter, sexier, and more alive." Plus 75 vegan recipes. [USA Today]
• Aaaah, aaaaahhhhh! Sam Kinison biopic in the works. [NY Times]
• Pete Doherty is on a "pub footie team" which means he plays soccer with other guys from a bar. He says he plans to "score" every week, heh. [The Sun]
• Oh, dear. The flailing economy has hit Days If Our Lives: Deidre Hall (Dr. Marlena Evans) and Drake Hogestyn (John Black) have been axed for budget reasons. Hall had been on the NBC soap for 32 years, and Hogestyn was there for 22. Like sand through the hourglass! [NY Mag]
• Is Magic Johnson skimpy with health coverage when it comes to people who work for him? [TMZ]
• Chuck Norris has written a bunch of crap about the "Gay Anarchy" that America has been experiencing due to the Prop 8 debate. He says: "Protestors [sic] of Proposition 8 in California (the marriage amendment) shoved aside a 69-year-old woman who was bearing a cross. They reportedly spit on her and stomped on her cross. They then aligned themselves in a human barricade, blocking the media from getting to or interviewing the woman." The folks from Queerty call his screed a "gobbledygook of half truths, race-baiting and feigned outrage." [Queerty]
• Click here if you want to watch Hugh Jackman sing "I Still Call Australia Home." Such a Broadway voice on that one. [News.com.au]
• This story reads: "This week, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger… enlisted his friend and fellow environmentalist Rob Lowe to entice the notoriously wary Chinese into a discussion about global warming while showing them a little showbiz flash." Yes. Rob Lowe is meeting with Chinese officials. [LA Times]
• Stephen Baldwin said he'd leave the country if Obama won; unfortunately he was joking. He now says: "Obama is obviously talented and intelligent, and I have great respect for the man. He's got my full support, and I'm gonna be praying for him and his administration." [Page Six]
• Speaking of Obama, he does have friends in Hollywood, but they're not the ones you think — Clooney is not on the list. [Politico]
• American Buffalo is on Broadway, starring Haley Joel Osment, John Leguizamo and Cedric the Entertainer, and celebrities are loving it. [Rush & Molloy]
• Marissa Jaret Winokur will return to Hairspray December 9-January 4 for the final four weeks of its Broadway run. Not attending: Bianca Golden. [USA Today]
• Details about the romance between Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller. Including Monroe's painful miscarriage: Biographer Christopher Bigsby writes: "'It was Arthur's,' Monroe said, between sobs. 'It was for him. He didn't know. It was going to be a surprise. Then he would see that I could be a real wife, and a real mother.' Asked how long she had been pregnant, she replied, 'Just a few weeks, I guess. I didn't dare mention it to anyone, in case it wasn't true.'" [Telegraph]
• Bands don’t do what we used to do. Bands don’t have the theatrics. We were lighting ourselves on fire. I had a chainsaw and cut a nun’s head off. You don’t see that shit at all anymore, which is kind of sad." — Vince Neil, on the early days of Mötley Crüe. [Rolling Stone]
• "The most repulsive celebrity I've ever met is Mick Hucknall. Unlike me he doesn't realize why all the chicks love him. And he's really ugly." — Simon Cowell. [The Sun]
• "I've always had that fuck-the-system mentality, and his dad is so 'the system.' But then, they're the most liberal family — they bootlegged alcohol, for God's sake. They're rich because they threw big, illegal parties, so I don't mind." — M.I.A on her fiancé, Ben Brewer, who is a Seagram heir. [Page Six]
• "I’m currently enjoying a period of sobriety, but for the last 15 years that hasn’t been the case… It’s just as I get older the hangovers get worse. If there were no consequences to drinking, I would drink all the time, but as you get older the hangovers get worse, and I’m just tired of losing entire days to hangovers, so I’m enjoying some healthy sobriety for awhile to see how that works. I don’t advocate sobriety for anyone who can drink successfully." — Moby. [BlackBook]

• Barneys Creative Director Simon Doonan and designer Jonathan Adler were wed yesterday at City Hall in San Francisco! This article states that they "sealed the union with a spirited sprint down the glorious grand staircase." Mr. Doonan wore a Liberty print shirt, Barneys Co-op jeans, a Prada V-neck and a Thom Browne velvet jacket. Mr. Adler wore Barneys Co-op jeans, V-neck, a Fred Perry sweater, and Adidas sneakers. [SFGate, Photo by Thor Swift]
• If Prop. 8 passes in California, "it would be the first time in American history that an existing minority right would be taken away by the vote of a majority." The Christian conservatives are ahead, in terms of fundraising. Karen Ocamb's article indicates that Ellen DeGeneres, Rosie O’Donnell, Sir Elton John and Melissa Etheridge have not donated to the cause to fight Prop 8, according to the California Secretary of State’s Campaign Finance website. Ocamb writes: "While their visibility as openly LGBT celebrities and entertainment power players is important, their financial absence from the specific fight to save the fundamental right of same-sex couples to marry is hurting." [In L.A. Magazine]
• Katie Holmes made her Broadway debut in All My Sons last night and Tom Cruise loved it. "It was extraordinary," he says. [Yahoo News]

• Heidi Klum is freaking out about hosting the Emmys on Sunday. She says: "I get nervous when so many people are looking at me. It’s live and you go on stage and no one asks questions. To go out and just talk is terrifying." Heidi, when it doubt, say "deezigners." Everyone loves that! [The Sun]
• BREAKING: Ivana Trump flew coach. [Page Six]
• Pink's song about heartbreak, "So What," is her first No.1 song on Billboard's Hot 100. She says the track is not entirely autobiographical, but the opening line is, "I guess I just lost my husband." (Watch the video!) [Yahoo News]
• Nicole Kidman speaks about her baby and her hubby! She says: "To be given the blessing of a child at this stage of my life was wonderful." She also claims she and Keith can't stand to be away from each other. "We start to hurt after seven days. I've never wanted to live my life apart from the person I love. If you're going to be with someone, you're with them, you’re committed to them. I'm not sort of flitting around. If I fall, I fall — that's it. We gently fell into each other. We were two lonely people who went, 'Ah, there you are.'" [The Sun]
• After shooting 30 Rock with Oprah, Tina Fey says: "I would like to announce that we are officially best friends." [Chicago Tribune]
• You know how Amy Poehler is getting her own show? Will Arnett will be on it! Her husband! [Onion AV Club]
• Justin Timberlake is planning on writing a song for his friend Ellen DeGeneres and her new bride Portia de Rossi. "I actually made them a promise and I'm gonna stick to it," he says. Let you whip me if I misbehave… [UPI]
• Simon Cowell uses so much Botox he can no longer scowl. He says: "To me, Botox is no more unusual than toothpaste. It simply works. You do it once a year — who cares?" Um, Simon, do you only brush your teeth only once a year?? [The Sun]
• George Clooney's character in Burn After Reading uses a sex ramp; apparently sales of this item are suddenly up. [Daily Express]
• Katherine Heigl earns about 22 times what her Grey's Anatomy costar Ellen Pompeo makes, thanks to her film career. (Other Grey's salaries are compared here, too.) [Portƒolio]
• Val Kilmer as the governor of New Mexico? Bill Richardson says yes! "I like the idea. Val Kilmer is a New Mexican; he was Batman. You know there have been successful actors going into politics." [Shakesville]
• Last night, Audrina Patridge maybe moved out of the house that she shared with Lauren Conrad and Lo Bosworth. Plus: Rumors are swirling that she's getting her own spin-off show. Please let JustinBobby be in it! [TMZ]
• Oooh the Jack White/Alicia Keys Bond theme! It's called "Another Way To Die." Listen here. [Concrete Loop]
• So you know how Robert Downey Jr. is going to play Sherlock Holmes in a flick directed by Guy Ritchie? Jude Law will play Watson. [Ain't It Cool]
• Gwyneth Paltrow and Mario Batali will do another 13 episodes of their cooking show; this time in Italy. [Perez Hilton]
• Contrary to reports, two of Paris Hilton's dogs were NOT eaten by a coyote. [Page Six, People]
• Pat O'Brien is leaving The Insider. [People]
• Ryan O'Neal's lawyer says: "Those were not Ryan's drugs, he doesn't use drugs." [People]
• Gary Coleman's lawyer says "he did nothing wrong." This comes after Coleman allegedly ran over a dude who tried to take his picture with a camera phone. [People]
• Janet Jackson's Rock Witchu tour: "Overloaded with blinding dazzle, pyrotechnics and gaudy style over substance. The myriad production numbers were reminiscent of a poor Vegas revue and emotionally distant, the band and backup singers bolstering her vocals hidden away, leaving one to wonder if some — or most — of it was prerecorded." [Reuters]
• Is Britney Spears getting special treatment for her driving without a valid license trial? [AP]
• Broke oil "heir" Brandon Davis owes money all over town. [Page Six]
• Is Kathy Griffin moving her Life On The D-List show from Bravo to some other network? [Page Six]
• Denise Richards' show: Getting canceled? [Page Six]
• Joan Prather of Eight Is Enough was arrested after dragging an L.A. County Sheriff's deputy down the Pacific Coast Highway with her car. [TMZ]
• China's Ugly Betty is not ugly enough. [Guardian]
• Speaking of Ugly Betty, America Ferrera says Henry and Gio will be back on Season 3. [EW]
• Alex and Cynthia Rodriguez: Officially divorced. That was quick! [TMZ]
• LL Cool J is pissed because Jessica Simpson's album beat his on the charts. [MSNBC]
• Ronnie Wood's estranged wife says: "I'm enjoying my new freedom." [The Sun]
• Ashton Kutcher doesn't know how to spell step-daughter Tallulah's name. [Perez Hilton]
• Does Playboy treat black women like crap? [TMZ]
• The Spice Girls have beaten Led Zeppelin for an award for the best music reunion. Girl powah! [BBC News]
• Tracy Chapman is releasing her first new album in years, and you can listen to a track here. [Perez Hilton]
• "I do believe in marriage… But I just think for me, it’s not a desperate kind of thing. In America it’s definitely something that seems to be a major goal with every woman – the big wedding day. I don’t need that. I want total commitment and spiritual connection, and I am lucky because that’s what I’ve got. One of the things that first attracted me to my boyfriend is his brain. He’s very well-read and really sexy to me. Brains are the most important thing to me, because I feel I lack them. I want them from the man I am with. I love a well-read man – that is such a turn-on." — Eva Mendes. [Mirror]