Star Jones: stretch velvet, a ruff, and matching shoes. Nuff said.


Penn Badgley makes me wonder: which came first, the smug smirk or the smug banker's collar?


Patricia Field, in Pat Field drag.


Natalie Cole: a woman who can do justice to the mini trend.


Perhaps my favorite of all red-carpet couples: Buzz and Lois Aldrin.


Kathie Lee goes Grecian. It's really not her fault that I saw that documentary on sweatshops yesterday in which she figured so prominently.


Jennifer Hudson matches high-sheen tights to a satin dress: bold. Verily, bold.


Ivana Trump looks roguish - which is, I guess, really the only approach, under the circumstances.


Hoda's frock is a touch dowdy, a touch wedding cake, and yet curiously flattering!


Estelle, the hardest-working woman on the red carpet, was an early proponent of the neo-power-shoulder.


Jeez Louise, when she's on, she is so on.


I kind of respect that Beth Ostrosky has never, ever deviated from her Atlantic City good-time-gal aesthetic. The operative words are "kind of."


Aren't you loving Bar Rafaeli's retro-fab shoulder-train?


Alina Puscau's getup doesn't exactly suggest "cancer charity" to me, but that probably just reveals my gaucherie.


Denise Rich takes full advantage of the maxim that she who organizes the fundraiser gets to wear whatever the hell she wants and no one can say anything.

[Images via WENN]

The Good
I love Joely Richardson in this Beetlejuice-esque number.


This is supposedly Julia Restoin-Roitfeld but she looks different here, right? Whoever it is, she looks stunning.



If I had gams like Lily Donaldson, I'd sleep in this dress.


Dear Madonna, I dare you to be my BFF and give me all your hand-me-downs. (Truth: she wouldn't give me the time of day.)



Mary J. Blige can do no wrong and if you disagree with me, I will cut you.



Margharita Missoni has a great name, a great fortune, and a great dress.



Natalia gets my vote for best dress. She looks like the Chrysler building. That's a good thing!


Petra looks flawless. She was smart not to wear a necklace and direct all eye-contact to her boobs. Thank you pretty lady.


And last but not least, enter my new obsession: this couple. Sam Riley played Ian Curtis in that movie Control (which gave me like, 69 orgasms), and his girlfriend Alexandra Maria Lara was in the movie as well.




The Bad
Amira Casar, aka Frumpy Cold Medina.


Natalie Portman? More like Gnar Gnar Binks.


I love me a Juliette Lewis, but she's working a Miss Hannigan look here. I also love me a Miss Hannigan but that's beside the point.


Cecile Cassel . The hipster headband is soooo yesterday.


Natasha Poly is wearing a dress that's giving me an MC Escher vibe


Zhang Ziyi, step it up for crying out loud! "This isn't a dinner party, honey." (Name that movie)




The Ugly
Rose McGowan is wearing all the Mood leftovers that the Project Runway contestants ended up not using.


Tamara Beckwith looks like every girl who tried to beat me up in high school. In other words, she looks like an asshole from Long Island.


What happens in Vegas is incidentally what also happens to Sharon Stone when she dresses like a cougar.


Samantha Morton. Don't get me wrong, I love a good garbage bag; they're useful and what not! I just wouldn't attach sheer sleeves to mine and wear it a fancy party is all.


Orange you glad I couldn't think of anything better to write for Judith Godreche's big ugly dress?


I find it hard to believe that Milla Jovovitch thinks she looks good in this truly mediocre outfit. Plus, only 7 year olds and most of my friends can get away with wearing their hair like that.


Is it just me, or don't you think it's a little weird how Denise Rich tried this on and was like "This is it! Look out amFAR's here I come!"

[Images via Getty]