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Todd Akin Releases 'Forgive Me for Being a Dipshit' Ad, Vows to Plunge Ahead Against GOP's Wishes

Todd "Legitimate Rape" Akin is so, so sorry. He's so unbelievably, self-flagellatingly remorseful that he has released a new ad begging voters' forgiveness, claiming he used the "wrong words in the wrong way." But that's not enough for top GOP officials, who are trying to come in and shut that whole thing down. Guy…

Racing Fans Freak Out Over Congresswoman's Proposal to Cut Government NASCAR Sponsorship

This morning, an amendment proposed by Minnesota Representative Betty McCollum and one of her Republican colleagues, Jack Kingston of Georgia, passed through the House Appropriations Committee. The proposal aimed to cut $80 million from the federal government's budget by barring the Department of Defense from spending…

Barack Obama Was Also a Bully, Shriek Conservative Pundits Who Didn't Care Until Yesterday

In President Obama's book, Dreams from my Father, he recounts a playground incident when he shoved a little girl named Coretta. This is exactly the same as that time Mitt Romney held down a gay kid and cutting his hair off and then saying you don't remember it but also apologizing, according to Sean Hannity. Do you…

How to Convince Hillary Clinton to Run for President in 2016 (Even Though She Already Said No)

Hillary Clinton told a crowd earlier today that she won't be running for President in 2016, and while she didn't come right out and say it, she sort of implied that she's tired of the unique brand of bullshit The People have flung at her during her decades-long career in the public eye. What can the hopeful masses do…

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Sponsor of 'Show Your Boss Your Whore Pills' Bill Hijacks Mic at Press Conference, Calls Everyone Liars

In an attempt to show the world that she's not a lunatic with terrible ideas, Arizona Republican State Representative Debbie Lesko stood in the back of a Democratic press conference yesterday and called everybody liars before hijacking a microphone. You know, standard non-lunatic with great ideas type stuff.

Michele Bachmann Had No Idea She Was Meeting the 'Dangerous Radical' Running Against Her

Longtime activist and Occupy Wall Street participant Anne Nolan is the sort of woman that gives Michele Bachmann hives. Pro-Wall Street Reform, pro-universal health care, pro-mandatory 3 weeks' vacation for all American workers, and, most Bachmann dystopian of all— she didn't take her husband's name when they married.…