Ahem. Jada Pinkett Smith, one of the premiere Awesome Moms of our time, has something to say. And then she will drop the mic. But first:

On a scale of 1 to Daddy Issues, Selena Gomez ranks among Sylvia Plath, Angelina Jolie and the daughter of the Dos Equis guy, if he has one. Not to mention, let's be honest, most of us.

Although Kate Middleton and Prince William have only told their parents the sex of their baby, a slip of the tongue made it clear that Kate might be playing uteran hostess—I picture it as an upscale B&B, complete with L'Occitane bath products and tiny decorative soaps and a Jonathan Adler guestbook—to a tiny future…

IMHO, Naomi Watts has always been the more endearing half of the blonde, icy "Aussie Posse" best-friend duo that includes herself and Nicole Kidman. Watts, who got a Lead Actress Academy Award nod for her role in The Impossible, is filming a 60 Minutes CBS segment as part of their pre-Oscars nominee special. But when…

Despite Katy Perry's best efforts, one cannot domesticate the Wild Striped Douchebag, and John Mayer is no exception. Like the Countess Elizabeth Báthory, best remembered for bathing in the blood of virgins to retain her youth, it was only a matter of time before Mayer found the latest zeitgeisty female It-person and…

I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy. Instead, Chris Brown, Frank Ocean and six posse members threw down in the parking lot of a recording studio in West Hollywood last night.

After months, months of breathless waiting, I tell you, Jessica Simpson has revealed that she is, in fact, pregnant again. Finally! I will get a non-fitful night's sleep for the first time in many moons. Simpson, who gave birth just seven months ago to baby Maxwell Drew with her fiancé Eric Johnson, revealed the…

Some mole over in Justin Bieber's camp say that the B33bz is pissing off his record label and his assorted grown-up servants by being a lazy, ungrateful little stoner, just like—wait for it—an eighteen-year-old boy. Truly shocking. My monocle just fell plumb off my face.

Aw, man. I like Reese Witherspoon just fine, but it's a world-class bummer when actresses say "health" and mean "weight." Having just given birth to son Tennessee James, she addressed someone's question about the Amazing Race to drop her baby weight. "I don't know if I'm bouncing back. I'm slowly crawling back. You…

NOOOO! The Greatest Love of All, that of Ice-T and his wife Coco Austin, is going through a rough patch after some photos emerged of Coco dancing with and face-kissing another man, a rapper named AP.9. First, Mrs. -T took to Twitter to downplay it. "Woke up to people in a panic about some pics (sic),please guys I'm…

Oh my fuck, this is the saddest thing, not to mention positively Dourtney-esque: Kim Kardashian's four-month-old teacup Persian, Mercy has died. After discovering she was allergic to cats, Kardashian had passed Mercy on to Khloé Kardashian Odom's assistant, Sydney Hitchcock, whose 12-year-old cat had just died. All…

Although it certainly raises the question of precisely what kind of roles Megan Fox will get that involve keeping her clothes on, Megan Fox will be keeping her clothes on in movies for awhile so that her baby son Noah doesn't get teased about it when he gets older:

Oh. Taylor Swift. Taylor, Taylor, Taylor. I love your unbridled enthusiasm 99.9% of the time. And a few lines of "Mean" all in the spirit of Fun while you spit a beat in the background sounds OK, in theory. But I'm only human, and when you beatboxed with LL Cool J at last night's Grammy nominee…

In the immortal words of the classic holiday song: Oh, the weather outside is frightful, but Jessica Simpson is pregnant. It's been seven months and at least 109 headlines since the birth of Maxwell Drew and Simpson's subsequent public struggle to drop the baby weight/become a momshell/shed her human form/whatever…

Jada Pinkett Smith used Facebook to perform an awesome smackdown on people who have been trolling the parental implications of the ever-changing short hairstyle of 12-year-old Willow Smith:

The champion eaters among us know that Thanksgiving is a marathon, not a sprint. Lady Gaga, who was staying at a house in Peru before her concert in Lima on Friday, was going for a fourthmeal of festive leftovers in the nude (I hear you, Gaga; the turkey sweats are real) when this happened, as she recounted on Twitter:

To kick off her 777 tour, Rihanna's taken 200 bloggers and journalists on a Boeing 777 for a week. I've used my crack investigative skills to determine that everyone is getting fucked up and having a good time. At one point, Ri-Ri personally served cognac. One of the writers, Julieanne Smolinski, has a quick Q&A…

Liza "With A Z, Not Lisa With An S" Minnelli was honored at the New York Landmarks Conservancy awards at the Plaza on Thursday and partied like a sorority girl in a foreign country. Though her beverage of choice is a mystery, Minnelli drank and chain-smoked throughout the night, and by the time she got onstage to…

During the Lufti/Spears trial, Sam Lufti let this slip: "[Courtney Love and I] are currently working on a possible motion picture or Broadway musical based on the Nirvana catalogue, based on her life and Kurt Cobain's." However, because Lufti is skeezier than the stuff that falls between the wall and your bed and…

Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, Lindsay Lohan's gotta blow off her obligations on the set of every single movie she's worked on for the last five years. In other words, if you play with fire, fire is probably gonna do drugs and drink Red Bull all night and wake up at 4 PM in a bed at the Four Seasons, trying to…