Last week, we received a 4-page legal letter from the law firm Lavely & Singer - which represents actress Demi Moore - regarding a post in early November that pointed out a striking (and, frankly, hilarious) oddity on a recent magazine cover (above) featuring Ms. Moore.

(Click on thumbnails to enlarge)

To recap: On November 9, Jezebel posted a peek at the just-released W magazine cover of Ms. Moore, and an eagle-eyed reader pointed out that the actress' left thigh looked strangely situated in relation to the draping of the Balmain leotard around it. Photoshopping was suspected, and questioned, in a follow-up post two days later. Then, the story went wide, with media watchers like Xeni Jardin at BoingBoing, photographer Anthony Citrano, and Ms. Moore herself weighing in. (Mr. Citrano, who apparently got the same letter we did, has just posted a rebuttal...complete with YouTube videos. It's worth checking out.) One individual even went as far as to assert that Ms. Moore's head was simply plunked on the body of a runway model wearing the Balmain design on October 1, a theory we rejected. Now, a little over four weeks later, lawyers have, inexplicably - hilariously - become involved. From their letter:

"My client's hip, waist or legs were not altered, retouched, or photoshopped for the cover image…. False claims or insinuations that she secretly uses extraordinary artificial means to alter her appearance are extremely damaging. My client's reputation has been tarnished by false statements or implications that she desired or required that her appearance be digitally slenderized by altering the appearance of her hip for the magazine's cover, and that she lied to the public about it."

Lavely & Singer's correspondence to us also includes supporting letters from W magazine creative director Dennis Freedman and the magazine's cover photographers, Mert Alas and Marcus Piggot. Freedman claims that absolutely no retouching was done to the photograph. (Oh-kay.) Mert and Marcus write (somewhat excitedly):

"When we have met Demi for W cover story she was super fit to start with! The choice of dress also gave her a catwalk model like silhouette!... There was ABSOLUTELY no retouching on her hips or waist or legs!!"

Demi Moore herself and her publicist, Stephen Huvane, are also copied on the Lavely & Singer letter. (We'd like to point out that, the time of our initial coverage, we contacted both Huvane and W for comment. Mr. Huvane didn't get back to us, but W did, and we quoted their denial.)

In addition to accusing this site (and others) of falsely claiming that Demi Moore "secretly uses extraordinary artificial means to alter her appearance," Lavely & Singer are demanding we issue both a retraction an an apology. As those who actually read our posts know, at no point did we say or imply that Demi Moore demanded, "desired" or "required" that she be "slenderized." Nor did we accuse her of lying about it. Instead, we quoted her Tweeted denials and a skeptical, professional photographer's challenge of them. That said, we would like to take this opportunity to sincerely apologize if we cast aspersions on, or in any way hurt the feelings of Ms. Moore's left hip, waist, or legs. Our only intention was to call attention to distorted and disturbing-looking magazine covers... and the editors, photographers, art directors and retouchers who commission and create them.

Earlier: The Curious Case Of Demi Moore's Left Hip
Demi Moore Posts Original W Cover Photo
Was Demi Moore Photoshopped Onto Model's Body For W? Not Likely.
Photographer Bets $5,000 On Demi Moore W Cover Retouching

Related: Demi Moore's Hip, And Handling The Truth [Zigzaglens]
Was Demi Moore Ralph-Laurenized On "W" Mag Cover, With Missing Hip-Flesh? [BoingBoing]
Demi Claims missing Hipflesh Is For Real. But $5,000 Says It's Moore Photoshopping [BoingBoing]

• Robert Pattinson freaked out when a fan jumped out of a car at a red light and kissed him explaining, "My mom wouldn't pull the car over to let me out because I'm just getting over the swine flu…"

• Pattinson shoved the girl off of him and yelled "You have the swine flu?!… What the hell are you doing kissing anyone?" Then he went to the nearest drug store and bought some Listerine. This story was brought to you by the National Enquirer and quite possibly, the letters B and S. [News.com.au]
• Jon Gosselin was in court today to face a former lawyer who is suing him for non-payment. [Radar Online]
• Sources say Jon and Kate Gosselin's final divorce decree will be issued today or tomorrow. Also, after photos surfaced of Jon shooting a handgun on his lawn in Pennsylvania yesterday, a judge ordered Jon not to bring a firearm onto the property he and Kate own. [Radar Online]
• Charles Fradenburg, Kurt Cobain's uncle, said his sister Wendy O'Connor has been trying to get custody of Frances Bean Cobain for many years because Courtney Love " is not fit to take care of Frances, she can barely take care of herself ... Courtney wasn't doing any parenting at all, she was hiring nannies to do all of the work." [TMZ]
• This is just sad although take it with a grain of salt: Theresa Rogers claims that Tiger Woods told her during their affair that he only married Elin Nordegren to boost his public image. [Radar Online]
• A resident of Windermere, Florida says Tiger Woods heads to a nearby course and hits golf balls "to clear his head" at night. "He goes after dark so he can't be seen. For him, what's more therapeutic than hitting golf balls, the thing he's best at in the whole world?" says the source. [Us]
• Erin Muller got her ex Michael Lohan arrested on Monday for violating her restraining order, so he had her arrested today for allegedly kicking him in the head on November 14. He says he wanted to get her out of her car because she was "too drunk and high" to drive. [TMZ]
• Kevin Jonas will marry Danielle Deleasa this weekend on Long Island. [Radar Online]
• Red Hot Chili Peppers guitarist John Frusciante quit the group for a second time because, he says, "my musical interests have led me in a different direction." [Reuters]
• Amanda Seyfried is now too big for Big Love. "She's been exploring her movie career for a couple of years now, and we've been giving her a lot of room to do that," says Big Love creator Will Scheffer. "I know having a commitment to a show for six months definitely cuts into her ability to pursue that career." At the end of the season, her character will move away. [TV Guide]
• The executors of Michael Jackson's will are asking the court for "extraordinary compensation" rather than the usual executors fee because they've had to defend the estate against both Joe and Katherine Jackson and hey've been working 14 hours a day, 7 days a week to sort out MJ's finances. [TMZ]
• Steven Burky has been charged with two counts of felony stalking for allegedly breaking a restraining order Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner filed against him last year. Garner says he's been stalking her since 2002 and he was arrested earlier this week outside Violet Affleck's school. [TMZ]
• Ashanti's mother Tina Douglas testified today against Devard Hurd, the man accused of sending Ashanti's family members pictures of his genitals and text messages about having sex with her. "It was just disgusting and humiliating and extremely frightening," Douglas said. [AP]
• LeeLee Sobieski gave birth to her first child with her fiance, menswear designer Adam Kimmel ,late last night. They're keeping the name under wraps for now. [Us]
• Tom Brady was asked how week one went for his new baby with Gisele Bunchen. "It's good. It's good. I'm glad it's over!" said Tom. "I'm trying to get back to my normal sleep schedule, which I'm sure, for all of us parents, is a little tough early." [People]
• Oprah Winfrey donated $1.5 million to the Ron Clark Academy, a private middle school in inner-city Atlanta. Last December Oprah donated $365,000 to the school. [AP]
• Loretta Lynn cancelled a string of shows and insiders say its because she has the flu and is "fighting for her life." "Loretta's stubborn. She wanted to play the dates, but her doctors told her point-blank she needed to rest for weeks," says a source. "But Loretta insists, 'You tell me I can't sing anymore, you might as well dig the hole and throw dirt on me.'" [Contact Music]
• Melanie Griffith's rep announced that she had surgery to remove early stage skin cancer from her face. The procedure was done early enough to prevent more complications. [AP]
• Lady Gaga says her song "Dance In The Dark" is about "a girl who likes to have sex with the lights off, because she's embarrassed about her body. She doesn't want her man to see her naked. She will be free, and she will let her inner animal out, but only when the lights are out... These lyrics are a way for me to talk about how I believe women and some men feel innately insecure about themselves all the time. It's not sometimes, it's not in adolescence, it's always." [MTV]
• 1.42 million people watched Tuesday's episode of Bad Girls Club, making it Oxygen's highest-rated non-finale show ever. [Media Week]
• Guy Ritchie says he wanted to make sure Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law were friends before they started shooting Sherlock Holmes. "What was essential to me is that when these guys first met as mates that they really got on with one other, and they did — within five seconds," Ritchie said . "Rudy [Downey Jr.] and Judy [Law] and I had a lot of late nights in the pub." [CNN]
• Jude Law says he regrets changing his name from David Law because, "(I was) assigned to the girls' dormitories and sleeping quarters when I was a teenager and I joined the National Youth Music Theatre. Someone took a look at my name and clearly thought, 'It has to be a girl.' How wrong can you get?" [Daily Express]
• Q: "So when are you going to be made a Sir?" Hugh Grant: "You would assume it's around the corner. No, I'm pretty hated in my own country, sadly. I love it, it hates me." [Popeater]
• Hugh Grant says that in Did You Hear About The Morgans, "I look ridiculous. I look like some old lesbian." [CBS News]
• Sarah Ferguson, who produced The Young Victoria, says the character she relates to most in the film is, "Prince Albert, because I know what it's like to be a guest. It is very difficult when you are not born in to it, to fit in to a life that you cannot logically understand. [Those born to it] are born to duty and to be selfless to the grave." [Reuters]
• "I had a girl come up to me once with a sunflower, like, she just came running up to me, and she just wanted to say thanks for being in Almost Famous. I was like, 'Thank Cameron Crowe!' And I thank him every day, I do. That experience for me was like growing up. So thank you for asking about it, and feeling so strongly about it, because that film was a huge part of my life, too." — Kate Hudson [Nylon]
• "As I look back, I've always been so proud of what I've been able to do in film. It was sort of by default that I created this strong identity or the voice of the misfit or the disenfranchised or the outsider. For me, I just look for complexity. Even in the early years, like in the '90s, I was just looking for interesting roles or working with filmmakers that allowed me to bring more to the table than these cookie-cutter youth roles. And particularly being a young female, they usually were a daughter who is pretty in-the-box, like, "Precocious Girl!" or the girlfriend — "She's desirable! She's on the cusp of womanhood!" — or whatever these boring things were." — Juliette Lewis [USA Today]
• "I always get thrown out of the set, because asking for too many takes. I have a problem with that. I cannot let go. I cannot say 'OK, now we can stop and move to the next thing...' I drive everybody crazy because I can't control myself. I always want to do one more." — Penelope Cruz [Daily Express]
• When asked how her beauty routine has changed over the years, Cate Blanchett said, "Back then, I'd go to bed with my makeup on if I'd been out. And I went through a big Gothic phase, so my pillow was always covered in black mascara and white pancake makeup." [People]
• One of Demi Moore's Twitter followers wrote after seeing a recent picture of her, "Sorry but, you look old... specially your neck and cheecks [sic] at the second shot... i'm really sorry." She replied: "I'm 47, how am I supposed to look?." [Daily Mail]

[Los Angeles, December 14. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

For one thing, putting a hastily-snapped, haphazardly lit runway shot on a major magazine cover (especially one that prides itself on premium photography) would test even the most transformative powers of Photoshop. And really, why bother? They actually shot Moore, the gallery of photos indicates the actress is indeed extremely slim and toned — even if not to the full extent of the post-production wizardry. And for everything else, of course, there's retouching.

Demi Moore's Body Replaced By W Magazine [Pop Culture Madness]

Earlier: The Curious Case of Demi Moore's Left Hip
Photographer Bets $5000 On Demi Moore W Cover

• Jennifer Lopez is suing her ex-husband Ojani Noa for $10 million and demanding he stop production of the film How I Married Jennifer Lopez, which includes video of the couple in "sexual situations" on their honeymoon.

• A judge has granted a temporary restraining order blocking distribution of the film until the next hearing, which is scheduled for tomorrow. [Reuters, AP]
• Michael Lohan has released another taped phone call. This one is between Michael and Lindsay Lohan's former assistant, Jenni Muro, who says she thinks Lindsay may hurt herself. Muro says she wants to quit because, "I am trying to save your daughter's life every day," but, "I don't want it on my watch either" if she does kill herself. She also calls Lindsay's relationship with Samantha Ronson "unhealthy" and "an addiction." [Radar Online]
• Jenni Muro says she's planning on sending Michael Lohan a cease and desist letter for secretly taping their conversations. She calls his behavior "way beyond low." [TMZ]
• The Consumer Product Safety Commission says Jon Gosselin should have never let his five-year-olds on his ATV because, "Children under 6 should never be on an ATV — either as a driver or a passenger... Children are involved in about one-third of all ATV-related deaths and hospital emergency room injuries." [Radar Online]
• Jon Gosselin is counter suing TLC for $5 million. [Radar Online]
• Justin Timberlake's lawyer was furious in court today that a judge is demanded JT testify in court if he wants his restraining order against alleged stalker Marty Singer made permanent. He says Justin is currently filming a movie and can't miss a day to appear in court. [TMZ]
• The judge granted Justin Timberlake a permanent restraining order after his lawyer submitted a written declaration from Justin. [TMZ]
• In the video at the link, stripper Nicole Forrester is shown taking the polygraph test, which supposedly found she's telling the truth about sleeping with Josh Duhamel. She says, "I honestly didn't know he was married... I said, 'Are you Fergie's husband?' He was like, 'Don't ask me any personal questions. You know what you know so let's just drop it.'" [Radar Online]
• Fergie and Josh Duhamel spent the weekend apart because she was working in the U.K., so clearly their marriage is on the rocks. [Us]
• Jermaine Dupri and Janet Jackson are back together and there are rumors that they're planning a wedding, but he says, "They've been saying that for years and you don't see a ring on my finger... I guess it just sounds good to have that rumor this time of the year or something." [People]
• Just so you know, Jackie Jackson say's Dr. Arnie Klein's admission that Michael Jackson liked to pee in cups in front of other people is not true. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson's former doctors are feuding. Dr. Steven Hoefflin says Dr. Arnold Klein, "knew Michael was a narcotic addict yet he repeatedly injected him, probably with others in his office assisting him, 51 times over three months with a minimum of 100mg of Demerol and charged him a large amount of money." [TMZ]
• Madonna is heading to Rio to visit the city's slums. State Governor Sergio Cabral says, "She will get to know some social projects; she is enchanted with Rio and wants to help." [Reuters]
• The manager of Guy Richie's London pub The Punch Bowl is asking Richie's celebrity friends to sign a petition to keep the bar open to fight local residents who say the bar is too noisy. [Daily Express]
• In her new book Carrie Prejean accuses Miss California USA director Keith Lewis of pushing her to get a boob job and says he ran his hands all over her body and examined her breasts while she was standing in Shanna Moakler's living room in a bikini in front of other pageant judges. [Radar Online]
• Oksana Grigorieva says Mel Gibson is a "very hands-on" father to their newborn daughter. "He has been very dtoing and nurturing," she says. [People]
• Paris Hilton is threatening to sue a New Zealand company for advertising empty billboard space by posting her picture with the word "vacant" stamped across it. [Daily Express]
• Russell Brand is selling his London home and you can check out pictures of the interior here: [London Brick Work]
• Ashee Simpson will play Roxie Hart in the Broadway production of Chicago for six weeks starting in December. She has already played the role in London. [People]
• John Travolta says that, since his son Jett's death, "We've been working very hard every day as a family to heal... We have our own way of doing it, and it has been helping." Kelly Preston says the family has been receiving an "outpouring of love from, really, worldwide. It's been our friends, our family, our church. We partake in spiritual counseling pretty much daily." [ET]
• Rihanna made a surprise appearance last night at Jay-Z's concert at UCLA. Watch it here: [Perez Hilton]
• Kristen Stewart says since she started filming of New Moon Taylor Lautner has, "Literally become a different person. He's just grown up. He's so confident and the nicest guy that I've ever met. I know that I'm using this grammatically incorrect but he's the funnest guy I've ever hung out with. So he's great. I'm so proud of him." [People]
• Taylor Lautner was asked if it's weird to date Taylor Swift because they have the same name. "It gets confusing definitely," he said. "And it's weird calling somebody your name." [Extra]
• Backstage at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame 25th Anniversary Concert Art Garfunkel asked for a tissue. A staffer said they were running late but could stop in a bathroom. "He literally stopped walking and refused to go another step until he got a tissue," a source said. "He was behaving like such a child. He was very agitated and angry. And this is a guy who's been busted for marijuana possession! Shouldn't he be calmer?" He was offered a paper towel but threw it back yelling, "I said a tissue!" [Radar Online]
• Ryan Seacrest's alleged stalker, Chidi Uzomah, sent the campus of Cal State Dominquez Hills into a panic last year when he walked around in camouflage holding a dummy rifle after ROTC training. [TMZ]
• The Disney Channel has ordered a second season of Jonas, the Jonas Brother's show. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Kate Winslet has been nominated for a European Film Award for The Reader. [Daily Express]
• When asked if the rumors that she's starring in Resident Evil: Afterlife are true Eva Mendes said, "God, no! No, no, no! Never!" [Daily Express]
• Though it was assumed that Joe Halderman would try to make a plea agreement in the David Letterman extortion case, his lawyer said, "there's nothing in the pipeline other than preparing a case for trial." [N.Y. Observer]
• Tiffani Theissen and her husband, Brady Smith, are expecting their first baby in May. [People]
• Maksim Chmerkovskiy has already been voted off DWTS, but he advises, "Mya needs to step it up because she has been a frontrunner the whole time and now she's kind of ‘pfft.'" [People]
• Lamar Odom was in a car accident in 2007 and offered the victim a settlement, but she refused and has filed a lawsuit against him. [TMZ]
• A judge has ruled that Warren Beatty can go ahead with his lawsuit against the Tribune Co over the right to the Dick Tracy comic strip. [Reuters]
• Mario Lopez introduced his girlfriend Courtney Mazza to his mom at a recent dinner in San Diego. "Everyone was laughing and having a good time," says an eyewitness. "There was never an awkward moment." [Star]
• W editor Kevin West said during her cover shoot Demi Moore, "was like a newlywed in love, talking about how wonderful [Ashton] was and how much the relationship meant to her. She basically said when they met it was love at first sight." [W]
• Jennie Garth says her character won't break up Debbie and Harry Wilson on 90210. "I'm not a big fan of that storyline," she said. "It's just bizarre and weird. I don't think it's going to go anywhere. I'm not going to let Kelly be a homewrecker, so there's no place for it to really go." [E!]
• Leighton Meester says she's never been intimidated by fashion. "My mother always had a great sense of style. I always looked up to her. Ever since [Gossip Girl] I can differentiate between the character and myself. It gave me a launching point to develop my own sense of style," she says. [W]
• Peter Andre is still mad at Jordan for revealing that she had an abortion during their marriage. "Pete has always been passionately anti-abortion and Jordan knows that," says a source. "It's terrible she feels the need to talk about this so publicly. It drags up a whole lot of emotions for Pete when he just wants to move on. Pete keeps thinking about those lost children." [News Of The World]
• Sophia Loren says of working with Daniel Day-Lewis on Nine, "Daniel is incredible. He is hypnotic, magical, beautiful and brilliant; but he is also very scary. Every time I did a scene with him he was so deep and so real that it was almost intimidating." [Daily Express]
• Last night's third-season finale of Mad Men drew 2.32 million viewers, making it the most watched finale in the show's history. [Media Week]
• In an interview with John Slattery and Talia Balsam, who are married in real life and divorced on Mad Men, Slattery says it's different working with your spouse because, "You don't have to create a history – we did that scene where I have a heart attack, she comes in and I mean I fell apart because you're pretending to have a heart attack, it's supposed to be scary, you conjure up whatever it is that's going to get you to that place, then Talia walks in and if someone who wasn't Talia walked in playing my wife, it probably wouldn't have been as emotional." [If Magazine]
• Jon Hamm says, "A lot of people, especially this season, are very frustrated and angry with Don and his choices and his decisions. But something to understand about the guy is he's significantly damaged... I do think he loves his family very much. I think he's hard time expressing — or at least maintaining — that and still be true to himself. It's a difficult line to walk. What I enjoy about him as an actor is walking that line. And that's what makes it difficult to watch as a viewer. You're by turns transfixed and repulsed by this guy." [AMC]

• Zoe Kravitz, negotiating the transition from Famous Daughter to Celebrity, has committed the necessary act of being photographed by Bruce Weber for a perfume campaign. Vera Wang was the lucky partner in fame-chasing. Shall we expect a reality show? [People]

• Judge Richard Goldstone, who authored a U.N. report about Israel's war crimes, now has the honor of his name, embroidered in Arabic by local women, being used to sell scarves in Gaza. Shop owners say the scarves are selling out. [UPN]
• That rumor we mentioned yesterday about Georgia Jagger proved true. She will be the face of Versace's spring campaign. [WWD]
• Barbara Orbison, widow of Roy, has launched a perfume named for her late husband's best-known song: Pretty Woman. [WWD]
• Lily Cole: "I'm very good at making salads, which probably sounds rather meek and model-like, but they're fancy salads. I add things like figs, blue cheese and pine nuts. I never follow a recipe –- I even make cakes by guessing what is the right amount of flour and the right number of eggs." Jesus, Cole, do you fly planes and mentally calculate pi to the 100th decimal and cure cancer, too? [Telegraph]
• The Kimberley Process was set up in 2002 as an international regulatory body for the diamond trade. Incorporating governments, businesses, and NGOs and civilian groups, the goal was to end the trade in blood diamonds, which has destabilized the continent for decades. But at the group's annual meeting in Namibia, it failed to expel Zimbabwe from membership, despite a Kimberley fact-finding mission in June that discovered that Zimbabwean diamond miners are subject to constant government harassment, and that over 100 had been killed in the past year. The income from the mines, an estimated $1 million a month, is used by Robert Mugabe to prop up his regime. But Zimbabwe can't be expelled because the Kimberley group's own rules require unanimity before such a step is taken. (Looks like Kimberley might be the League of Nations of the gem trade.) The Women's Wear Daily journalist reports a mine owner said "it was up to consumers whether they should buy diamonds, when doing so could fund tribal warfare, genocide and terrorism." When the C.E.O. of a mining company tells you not to buy diamonds... [WWD]
• Mulberry is doing a line of laptop bags with Apple. [Elle UK]
• Justin Timberlake's William Rast is expanding. The company opened three stores in California this month, and plans another 40-50 by 2012. [WWD]
• Zac Efron says he wore his favorite jeans every day for eight weeks to get them to look perfectly lived-in. [WWD]
• Nicole Ritchie will be doing a House of Harlow 1960 collaboration with Bebe. The range will cost $38-$98, and one bracelet, for $25, will have "a portion" of its sales donated to the Ritchie-Madden Children's Foundation. The collection will hit stores on November 12. [People]
• Vogue editor Lauren Santo-Domingo says that the office normally celebrates birthday parties with pizza and cupcakes — but that the question of whether or not to surprise Anna Wintour with a cake with 60 candles was obviated by her being in Washington, D.C., on the big day. "She's in Washington right now being anointed. She's being knighted by President Obama — I think that's a pretty good 60th-birthday present," said Santo-Domingo. Actually, she was appointed to a White House committee. [The Cut]
• Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen had a beauty line at Wal-Mart called mary-kateandashley. Who knew? Now you can't buy it anymore, because it's dead. [WWD]
• Here's Rosie O'Donnell's account, given on her radio show, of a conversation she had with designer Eileen Fisher: "I see [her] and say, ‘I love you, and you have helped me. You can't imagine how much stress I had in my life because of clothing but once I found you three years ago everything changed. On behalf of every plus-sized woman in the world, I just want to thank you. And I want to ask you why do you only have the [plus] sizes down in SoHo?'" Fisher responded, "That's not really our demographic…you know, we sell a lot of size two." O'Donnell quipped, "Oh yeah, the plus-size two?" Fisher said, "No, the regular size two." O'Donnell leaped to the obvious conclusion. "So, you're trying to design for everyone and you don't really want the association with the plus-size people?" Fisher's response? "Well, it's just not the image that we're going for." Ouch. "It was like someone stabbed me in the heart. I was like, ‘OK, Eileen, we're broken up. I am wearing Donna Karan from now on.'" Sometimes meeting your idols is a terrible idea. But if Eileen Fisher is serious about passing over her established audience of professional women of means and age (a demographic which is severely under-served by the rest of the fashion industry) in favor of young things who want to wear leggings, then Fisher will probably get her comeuppance in the marketplace, won't she? [WWD]
• Madonna donated a pair of Christian Dior shoes to a charity working to end discrimination against Roma people, and the shoes fetched $16,600 at auction. [SB]
• Helena Rubinstein is coming back to the U.S. market with a new perfume, and Demi Moore as its face. [WWD]
  [WWD]
• If you live in New York, and somehow lack for opportunities to see men in strange outfits, you could go to Miss J's book signing next Tuesday at the TriBeCa Barnes & Noble. He wrote a tome entitled, Follow The Model: Miss J's Guide To Unleashing Presence, Poise, and Power. [Barnes & Noble]
• If you wanna chain-smoke your downtown fashion people-spotting, Carine Roitfeld is rumored to be coming to New York next Monday for an art opening. (Only semi-related: we saw Olivier Zahm at the Tracey Emin opening last night. Outside the dusky confines of the [late, lamented] Beatrice Inn, we had the revelation that the Purple Fashion editor looks exactly like Rick Moranis. Or Booger from Revenge of the Nerds; we couldn't decide. Snap poll?) [P6]
• Michael Kors says he enjoyed his Utah vacation. He went horse-riding, which he liked, and for a ride in a hot-air balloon, which left him "freaked out." "Face your fears!" says the designer. [WWD]
• Sanjana Jon, sister of rapist designer Anand, showed her new fashion collection in Delhi. It's "inspired" by her brother. [NYPost]
• Bankrupt German fashion house Escada has been bought by a daughter-in-law of Lakshmi Mittal, the Indian steel baron. [NYTimes]

• Stella McCartney's collection for GapKids is pretty damn adorable. [KanyeUniverseCity]

• Prince Charles toured the new Burberry headquarters yesterday. Designer Christopher Bailey and C.E.O. Angela Ahrendts showed him the 160,000 square foot building, and gave him a peek at the unreleased Burberry social-networking venture. [WWD]
• J. Crew creative director Jenna Lyons, whose salary is $1.9 million annually, received a hefty $1 million bonus this week — with strings attached. If she leaves the company within two years, she must repay it, and if she leaves during the following two years, she has to repay half. J. Crew has been cutting costs aggressively since the economic downturn began; in February, it instituted a wage freeze, fired 95 employees, and ceased matching 401(k) contributions. [WSJ]
• Kiwi model Rachel Hunter recommends see-to-be-seen spot The Standard Grill for dining in New York. She also recommends closing the curtains, should you rent a room at the hotel. [TDB]
• Demi Moore is a big supporter of designer Prabal Gurung. After she wore one of his dresses, his Twitter followship jumped from 50 to over 1,000. Why this story merits the tabloid header "Should Ashton Be Jealous of Prabal?" is inexplicable. [Style.com]
• Lara Stone may have missed out on the next Chanel campaign, but being the spring face of Louis Vuitton must be some consolation. Hopefully the brand won't Photoshop her into a waxy, corpselike likeness, à la Madonna fall 2009. [WWD]
• Sexy designer Yigal Azrouël is running the New York Marathon this weekend. Joining him — and nearly 40,000 other people — will be supermodel Veronica Webb. Model Anne Vyalitsyna has volunteered to guide a disabled runner along the course. [The Cut]
• There are paparazzi shots of Georgia May Jagger on the Leicester Square set of her new Rimmel ad. Yeah, she has her dad's mouth. [Daily Mail]
• Christian Dior, Chanel, and dozens of other French labels are collaborating on a Chinese website that will feature lavish, 3-D photographs of their products. And then not allow anyone to buy them online. Sounds like a counterfeiters' cookbook if ever we heard of one. [AP]
• Kenneth Cole cracked puns shared his sobering thoughts with students at FIT on Wednesday: "People say that things will get better in a few months, but to be honest, I don't think it will get better for years. The key is to go out in the world with a sense of contest....Find out where you can offer value as a designer and create something that people will desire." [WWD]
• Then at FIT on Thursday, fashion illustrator Ruben Toledo took to the stage to talk about his new Penguin Classics cover designs. And his day job. Toledo says despite having his work featured in a plethora of international editions of Vogue, he hasn't cracked American Vogue because "they're a bit too safe." [The Fashion Informer]
• Alexander Wang's fall collection includes $395 bike shorts. He defends them thusly: "People look at that and go 'Oh, those are biker shorts.' But the yarn we use is from Italy, the technique is digital weaving, there's a lot that goes into product development that the consumer doesn't necessarily always understand. And for the people that do understand it, they do get into it, they buy it, and those are the people I'm speaking to. And there will always be people that don't understand what you're doing, but I'm not here to satisfy everyone." Do you get that? Those are the people he's speaking to. He's selling $395 bike shorts to the $395 bike short-people. And only them. The rest of you peons can buy your non-Italian yarn, loomed bike shorts at Target. [The Cut]
• You could buy two styles from Tory Burch's new sunglass range for less than the cost of Wang's shorts. (And they're still overpriced!) Though there's one pair of folding aviators that's kinda nifty. [Style.com]
• Crystal Renn is in the latest campaign for Evans, the UK plus-size high street store. And she looks great. [Daily Mail]
• Pics are out of Nicole Richie's footwear for her House of Harlow brand. The shoes, which will go on sale in the spring, feature some Navajo-inspired embroidery. Sounds like Richie's been taking a leaf from the Navajo-Pocahontas-at-the-disco stylings of Kelly Bensimon. [FabSugar]
• Christian Siriano "designed" a Starbucks gift card for the holidays. It differs from the regular gift cards thus: it is smaller (which is noticeable) and "chic-er" (not really noticeable). [FWD]
• "There's nothing more American than a pair of blue jeans," says a worker at one of the last remaining denim mills in the U.S. Actually, blue jeans are a French product — serge de Nîmes dyed with indigo imported via Genoa, or bleu de Gênes — that was reinvented in the American West by Eastern European Jewish immigrants. But close enough! Boo to those Mexicans who are now making our products! [CNN]
• Michael Kors is doing a makeup collection for Estee Lauder. It'll go on sale in January, and it's named Very Hollywood, to match Estee Lauder's recently launched Very Hollywood perfume. [WWD]
• Estee Lauder's profits for the quarter ended in September rose to $140.7 million dollars. Last year during the same period, the company made a paltry $51.1 million. [AP]

• Jessica Simpson and Gerard Butler: DATING! Well, they went to dinner, and they were at a table with friends; but they were talking laughing and flirting, so clearly, it's on. [Page Six]

• "David Letterman Sex Tape Shocker"? There may be a studio surveillance tape of Dave and a "much-younger female co-worker in a compromising position." [Natiional Enquirer]
• Michael Jackson's kids were being driven to karate class by their nanny, Grace Rwaramba, when the paparazzi began chasing them. A photographer's car smacked into the back of a Jackson car — but not the one with the kids in it — a security vehicle following the kids' car. The kids are fine, the damage was minor, there are no injuries. [TMZ, People]
• Meanwhile, LaToya Jackson is telling people she will be the next Jackson to die: She believes Michael was murdered and thinks she is next because she knows too much. [TMZ]
• The John Travolta extortion case has ended in a mistrial; the judge is ordering a retrial. [AP]
• Roman Polanski will probably be extradited to the US to face sentencing. [LA Times]
• Champagne and sparklers arrived for Lindsay Lohan while she was out at a club, and the DJ announced: "23 bottles of Cristal for Lindsay Lohan's 23rd birthday!" LL said: "I don't know why they are doing this. My birthday is July 2nd." [Page Six]
• Richard Gere arrived on the red carpet for Amelia and a reporter fainted. Hard to tell if the two incidents are related. [Gatecrasher]
• Madonna reportedly turned over "her entire catalog" to Glee for covering… Except Madonna didn't write all her songs. Roger Friedman argues: "Don't get me wrong: Madonna is a spectacular, hard working performer and a force of nature. She's a fashion icon and she knows how to cause a commotion. So let's give the credit where it's due, but let's not pretend she's Lennon and McCartney. Glee will be gleeful for a lot of songwriters if they use Madonna's hits in the show." [Showbiz 411]
• Alicia Keys was at NYU yesterday — specifically, the Clive Davis Department of Recorded Music. She debuted two songs and told students (aspiring songwriters) "Just keep it simple. Every time I go into the studio, I don't know what to do. I say Alright, how I do this again? Part of songwriting is the journey." [Showbiz 411]
• Lily Allen didn't just quit Twitter. She's also quit MySpace and email, and given away her laptop and Blackberry. How long will it last?!?!? [Telegraph]
• WTF headline of the day: "Time Catches Up With Demi Moore As The Aging Actress Finally Shows New Wrinkles." They're not contagious, you know. Calm down. [NY Daily News]
• Was the burglary at Kourtney Kardashian's house an inside job? Kourtney and Scott were only away from the house — which is in a gated community — between 7 PM and 8:30 PM the night of the break-in; TMZ alleges that someone must have known where the jewels were to get in and out so quickly. [TMZ]
• I couldn't even read this piece about Lil' Wayne's gun possession case because I was distracted by how dapper he looks in his courthouse-appropriate ensemble. [NY Daily News]
• Did you know that Julia Stiles is a die-hard Mets fan? [Ed: Yes.] [Page Six]
• Salman Rushdie showed up at a party with a writer named Min Lieskovsky. This column points out that she wrote in Elle Girl last year: "I'm addicted to male models." [Page Six]
• "Real" housewife Jill Zarin has poor theater etiquette. [Page Six]
• Lifetime is pulling the episode of Wife Swap which stars the Heene family. [NY Post]
• Meanwhile, Balloon Boy's mom has hired her own lawyer. [NY Post]
• The Los Angeles County Museum of Art's film department is doing a series called "Audrey Hepburn: Then, Now and Forever." At the link, various people who worked with Hepburn discuss her "magic." Director Peter Bogdanovich says: "She was the opposite of the diva. She never complained." Robert Wagner gushes: "She was like velvet to work with. She was just an amazing woman. I adored her." [LA Times]
• Marley Shelton plays a young gallerist in (Untitled), which mocks the art world, and says: "How do you parody something that is changing every second?" [LA Times]
• Smallville co-star Sam Jones III: Busted for conspiracy to deal oxycodone pills. [NY Post]
• Whatshername has a new book. [Mirror]
• "This is a character who gets to a point where she starts to doubt her purpose and feels invisible in her own body. I think a lot of women will relate." — Uma Thurman on Motherhood, the film in which she plays a a fiction writer-turned-stay-at-home-mommy blogger who, for a parenting magazine contest, tries to write 50 words answering "What does motherhood mean to me?" [USA Today]
• "The idea of sex with a man doesn't turn me off, but I don't express it. I satisfied my curiosity about that years ago. I had lots of sex between the ages of three or four and the time I was fourteen or fifteen. Strange experiences with older boys. But men don't particularly turn me on. And, no, John and I have never been lovers. He's not my type. Too short and dark." — Daryl Hall of Hall & Oates in a 1985 Rolling Stone piece, when asked if he and John Oates were lovers. This interview is called a "Mid-80s Career Suicide" by Roger Friedman. [Showbiz 411]
• "I have another book I'm working on and I have a movie coming out. I'll probably just stay in the movies but I would like the sort of music career to have a little life of its own, that I tour once a month, a year, something with some new songs or maybe a new record here and there. But I don't have a big adventure plan and I'm not constantly looking for what's next." — Steve Martin. [Mirror]
• "I would do the baby voice and it's kind of like this character I made up, but in real life I'm completely different, I'm very down to earth, I'm smart, I know what's going on. It's kind of like I almost play to the image and kind of have a laugh at myself about it. I think a lot of people will assume that I'm just like an airhead. But in my everyday life, when I'm hanging out with my friends or if I'm in a business meeting I'll talk in my normal voice." — Paris Hilton. [Mirror]
• "It's so scary to think about such a thing. I don't know if I'm an Oscar-worthy actress or I'm in an Oscar-worthy film." — Precious star Gabourey Sidibe. [BBC News]
• "When we found out that music was being used as part of the torture going on at Guantanamo, shackling and beating people - we were angry. Just as we wouldn't be caught dead allowing Dick Cheney to use our music for his campaigns, you can be damn sure we wouldn't allow him to use it to torture other human beings. Congress needs to shut Guantanamo down." — The Roots, who, along with Trent Reznor, REM and Pearl Jam have joined the National Campaign to Close Guantanamo and are against using "Metallica, Britney Spears and rap music" as part of the torture there. [MSNBC]
• "I'm not gonna sit here and eat my lunch and talk about Kim. You want to ask me about something about myself, I'd be glad to talk to you about it. I have a book. I'm doing a lot of things. I'm not interviewing about Kim." — NeNe Leakes of The Real Housewives Of Atlanta gets testy in this interview. [LA Times]
• "You can't play Amelia Earhart and not learn how to fly. That's just wrong in every way. [Flying] is something I take very seriously. I'm not a big sweater, but when I land, my back is drenched. It takes a lot of concentration. It's really exhilarating." — Hilary Swank, who plans to earn her pilot's license after she's done promoting Amelia. [USA Today]

Of course, there was no official diagnosis, or even a trip to the doctor, as of yet.

Bonus clip: I love that Ashton and Demi are so into The Real Housewives of Atlanta.

This combination of hard and soft — vulnerable and tough — seems to sum up Patrick Swayze as a person, and as an actor. His dad was a rodeo cowboy; his mom was a dance instructor, and his roles — from Roadhouse to The Outsiders to Dirty Dancing to Ghost and Point Break — always seemed to highlight the two sides of his spirit; the rough-around-the-edges dude with a heart of gold. (Jennifer Grey called him a "real cowboy with a tender heart.")

When it came to living with cancer, Swayze told Barbara Walters during a televised interview that he wasn't interested in pursuing experimental treatments. He thought if he were to "spend so much time chasing staying alive," he wouldn't be able to enjoy the time he had left. "I want to live," he said.

In 1985, Swayze starred in the TV miniseries North And South, playing a conflicted Southern soldier. According to the New York Times, he talked to the Associated Press about his character, saying: "People don't identify with victims. They identify with people who have the world come down on their heads and who fight to survive."

More memories of Patrick Swayze below.

Patrick Swayze, Star of ‘Dirty Dancing,' Dies at 57 [NY Times]
Jennifer Grey: I Remember Being in Patrick Swayze's Arms [People]

[Toronto, September 13. Image via Getty.]

• It's confirmed: Katherine Heigl and husband Josh Kelly are adopting a baby girl from Korea. In an episode to air on Friday, Katherine tells Ellen:

"She was actually born the day before me in November, which I thought was really serendipitous and just kind of like a sign. I realized just recently that I basically forfeited my birthday for the rest of my life." And: "Her name is Naleigh. Well, I am naming her after my mother and sister Nancy, Leigh. So we call her Naleigh. I wanted to tell everybody so you don't think I stole a Korean baby." [People]

• Kate Gosselin is "beyond angry" at Jon Gosselin for saying he "despises" her, blah blah blah. [MSNBC]
• Jennifer Aniston is really sick of the haters, yo. That means you, Elle magazine: "It's just their headline of 'Lonely Girl' that's sort of bullshit," Aniston says.  "I agreed to do it because how many times have I done an interview-every time-and you're misquoted and stupid sound bites get taken out of context and all of that….still happened with this. It's unavoidable. I'm not upset about it. I just find it funny." [E!]
• Fans are divided about Ellen DeGeneres being the newest American Idol judge. On the one hand: She's "the people's point of view," because she has no formal music experience. But as one Idol blogger wrote: "Is she going to be a real judge or some kind of joke?" [AP] 
• Prodcers for Sex And The City 2: Electric Boogaloo have cast a "hunk" named Max Ryan to be a European architect who crosses paths with Samantha. He is rather handsome, I must say. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Chris Brown's community service will involve 8-hour work days. He'll begin at 8 AM, get picked up by a Department of Corrections van (along with 40 other offenders), wear an orange reflective vest and pick up trash and litter along highways and roads in Richmond, VA. [TMZ]
• Yes, George Clooney "went public" with new ladyfriend Elisabetta Canalis at the Venice Film Festival earlier this week, so consider him off the market. [NY Daily News]
• Did Demi Moore snub British Prime Minister Gordon Brown's wife Sarah Brown on Twitter? [Telegraph]
• The company that owns Neverland Ranch has filed a bunch of trademarks with the US Patent Office and submitted paperwork requesting to use the Neverland name in association with a museum. A Michael Jackson museum. Of course, Joe Jackson says the company cannot do so without the family's permission. [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, Michael Jackson's family is upset over the charities that are supposed to get 20% of Michael's estate, for reasons unclear. [TMZ]
• After actor James Nesbitt made a joke about shagging Kate Moss at GQ's Men Of The Year Awards in London and Kate reportedly said: "He's so fucking rude. I'll never come to one of these fucking awards ceremonies again!" [Gatecrasher]
• Mary-Kate Olsen was seen "chain-smoking and throwing back shots." [Page Six]
• BREAKING: Kim Kardashian has gone back to brunette. [NY Daily News]
• Hugh Hefner claims soon-to-be-ex-wife Kimberly Conrad cheated on him early on in the marriage, but they are only getting divorced because she sued him over the sale of a house or something. Mo money mo problems. [TMZ]
• Zooey Deschanel will get married in Seattle at the end of the month, FYI. [Page Six]
• Ivanka Trump will get married on October 25 at a golf club. A Trump golf club. [Page Six]
• Do you care about America's Got Talent? Then you may care that columnist Courtney Hazlett thinks the show should be renamed America's Got A Very Broad Definition of Talent. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes: Shacking up. [National Enquirer]
• "It's a Georgian manor. We basically redid the entire thing, from the floors to landscaping to the closets, which are inspired by my New York apartment, with a men's and women's department store-esque feeling! Of course, I have the salon and Nick has a basketball court, which is his favorite place in the house. And I love having the outdoor space so the dogs can play. It's not too small; it's not too big; it's not a monstrosity. It's a home." — Mariah Carey on her new place in L.A. [Elle.com]
• "His movies make money. His movies play everywhere. If I looked like Tom Cruise they just wouldn't say such a thing." — Todd Solondz, on being compared to Woody Allen. [Reuters]
• "[Jessica's] always saying, 'Oh, I want a baby!' Being a mom's so empowering and incredible. I'm one of those people who believes that life brings things to you at a certain time for a certain reason, and if you just go with it, that's where the best moments come from. I've grown up so much. Your body is changing, and it's such an amazing time to feel that connection ... Being pregnant was the healthiest I've ever been in my life. Except for the cupcakes." (Do you envy your sister's freedom as a single girl?) "I really don't." — Ashlee Simpson. [People via Redbook]
• "People can have rhinoceros skin, but there's a point when something's going to hurt you. Not everyone is stone, stone. I haven't watched the news in weeks. I had to ask my chef, 'How's Obama doing?' I haven't read a newspaper." — Janet Jackson, on dealing with her brother's death. [NY Daily News via Harper's Bazaar]
• "I'm so dangerous right now I scare myself." — Shawne Merriman, the San Diegos Chargers linebacker accused of choking Tila Tequila, to Playboy. [NY Daily News]
• ''Somehow during the last Genesis tour I dislocated some vertebrae in my upper neck and that affected my hands. After a successful operation on my neck, my hands still can't function normally. Maybe in a year or so it will change, but for now it is impossible for me to play drums or piano. I am not in any 'distressed' state - stuff happens in life.'' — Phil Collins. [Telegraph]
• "How do I put this like a gentleman... I have never high fived Kristin Cavalari with my penis. My Milli has never slam danced with her Vanilli. I have never Bensoned her Hedges, nor have I attempted to Bartle her James. I'm sure she's a wonderful gal but we have never tasted the Skittles Rainbow together." — John Mayer. [ONTD via Twitter]

• Sandra Bullock is allegedly helping Ryan Reynolds get through a rough patch in his marriage to Scarlett Johansson. Hopefully her advice doesn't include "watch All About Steve together." [ShowbizSpy]

• "Sandra told Ryan the most important thing is that he and Scarlett need to make time for one another, even though they both have busy schedules," says a source, "She told him, ‘There is no substitute for togetherness.' Sandra pointed out that she and Jesse take quick vacations together - just hopping on the back of his bike and hitting the road.Ryan listens to Sandra because he has tremendous respect for her as a person and an actress." [ShowbizSpy]
• DJ AM's girlfriend, Haley Wood, gave a moving speech at his memorial service last week: "I will never be the same without him. A part of me has passed away with him. Even the warmest of days will never compare to the warmth I felt when I touched him. He was my soulmate, and now he is my soul. He was my amazing grace." [People]
• Your Daily Mail Headline Of The Day: "Sienna Miller Goes Public With Another Man...But At Least This One's Not Married." [DailyMail]
• "I am single and a workaholic and very lonely. But I'm good. Me and my vibrator are very happy."-Lady GaGa [TheSun]
• "I was surprised and pleased by how extremely knowledgeable about fashion and articulate Lindsay Lohan was. She's very young and can be portrayed in ways that aren't all together flattering, and she was a true statesperson and really weighed in on the designers and what they were doing exceptionally well. And it was really a thrill to have her."-Tim Gunn on Lindsay Lohan's guest spot on Project Runway. [IOL]
• Former Real Housewife of Orange County Lynne Curtin has been accused of stealing $5000 worth of furniture from a home she moved out of last week. [TMZ]
• Kelsey Grammer is throwing a Studio 54-themed 40th birthday party for his wife, Camille. A source claims the theme was "inspired by Camille's days as the principal dancer on 'Club MTV.'" [PageSix]
• "'There's nothing funny about someone who's completely secure. Vulnerabilities and cracks in the armor are what's funny. And what's really funny is someone who's attempting to hold a shield up to those things and thinking that they're pulling it off.''-Jason Bateman [NYTimes]
• A source claims that Paula Abdul hopes to "destroy" American Idol with a TV version of her one-woman show: "Paula believes she's got the draw of a Cher or Bette Midler and she's determined to rub the noses of the ‘Idol' bosses in her success. She's funneling her anger and resentment into making this project a hit. She wants to strike back." [ShowbizSpy]
• "I honestly don't know. What he said is he's trying to get what's best for him and best for me. He said it had nothing to do with talent. And I'm just going to go on that. That was his only explanation. He's looking at the whole mix of the show and maybe he feels that what I bring would be better served on a sitcom. They hired two new gals [Jenny Slate and Nasim Pedrad] that I think are going to be exquisite."- Michaela Watkins on Lorne Michaels firing her from Saturday Night Live [EW]
• Rosie Perez and Jennifer Lopez are reportedly battling for the rights to bring Judge Sonia Sotomayor's life story to the big screen. [DailyExpress]
• O.J. Simpson will remain in prison: a judge has denied his request to be let out of jail while he appeals his convictions for armed robbery and kidnapping. [DailyExpress]
• Want to hear John Krasinski read a bedtime story? You're in luck: he's recorded a reading of "Aladdin" for Speakaboos. [E!]
• Khloe Kardashian is reportedly dating L.A. Lakers star Lamar Odom. [E!]
• "I would never want the responsibility of being the prettiest girl onscreen. Growing up with a mother like mine gives you a skewed idea of what a mother should look like. My mother's jeans are smaller than mine!"- Rumer Willis [ShowbizSpy]
• Kanye West was caught on tape screaming "Don't follow me!" at a paparazzi, who proceeded to apologize to Kanye...and then followed him anyway. WHY WON'T YOU LET HIM BE GREAT, PAPARAZZI?!?!? [ONTD]
• "God, I really wish I could go loose on this one. He's like Napoleon and he wants to create this insane, infamous mad-man reputation. He wants to be like Hitler on his sets, and he is. So he's a nightmare to work for but when you get him away from set, and he's not in director mode, I kind of really enjoy his personality because he's so awkward, so hopelessly awkward." -Megan Fox on Michael Bay [JustJared]