Sometimes A Parent's Words Can Bear The Weight Of The World

Jessica — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 16:30:00 EDT

When you're a child, your parent can seem like the earth, moon and sun. That's why an off-hand remark can inadvertently affect a child for life. In this month's O: Oprah Magazine, writer Lisa Dierbeck talks to comedian Margaret Cho, pro basketball player Tiffany Jackson, opera singer and controversial gastric bypass recipient Deborah Voigt, and actress Cindy Cheung about how their parents' actions and words impacted their body image. For Cho, her father told her after a dance recital she participated in at the age of 9 , "You're the fattest ballerina." Our girl Margaret continues, "It so destroyed me that I never wanted to dance again. He wanted to prepare me for a world that was not going to accept me because I think he experienced so much racism. He'd say, 'You're not pretty. And you're not going to be pretty.' I absolutely believed him." And parental action can be just as damaging as parental words.

Voigt, who was above a size 28 before her gastric bypass, said, "My mom had always fought with her weight, been on one diet or another. She had self-esteem issues around her weight. We were constantly going on diets. She'd say, 'You need to take some weight off.' I felt very self-conscious." My mom was always good about not commenting on my weight, but I do remember her maligning her own looks as nothing special on several occasions. The rub? My my mom and I look almost identical. Can you pinpoint any "fat ballerina" moments from your traumatic childhoods?

You're The Fattest Ballerina [CNN via O: Oprah Magazine]

Earlier: Opera Singer Is Rehired After She Loses Over 100 Pounds Through Gastric Bypass

Opera Singer Is Rehired After She Loses Over 100 Pounds Through Gastric Bypass

Jessica — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 09:30:00 EDT

In 2004, Deborah Voigt, a renowned opera singer, was fired from a London production of Ariadne auf Naxos because, according to the New York Times, she was "too heavy to wear a sleek black cocktail dress that [the director] deemed integral to his concept." The opera company had to pay out Voigt's contract even though she was not performing, and the famed soprano took the extra cash and subsidized gastric bypass surgery. Now, four years later and over a hundred pounds lighter, she is returning to London to wear that cocktail dress and perform as Ariadne. Voigt even made a YouTube parody sending up the "little black dress incident." Voigt seems to play both sides in this situation, reports the Times: "[she] defends the right of opera companies to take appearance into account when they are casting productions, while insisting that vocal artistry should come first."

Though Maria Callas famously ruined her voice when she lost a lot of weight, Voigt's voice, while changed, has not worsened. "Some opera buffs and critics detect a slight loss of warmth in her sound. Others counter that her voice has gained brightness and shimmer," the Times notes.

Voigt has said that she wanted the gastric bypass for health reasons (knee problems, high blood pressure), but before she lost the weight she was a longtime advocate "of the principle that body size does not determine whether an opera singer can be dramatically compelling," the Times says. In addition, she admits that she got the gastric bypass when she did because she was humiliated by her public dismissal from Ariadne. Knowing Voigt's history with the role, it's hard to feel that her return to Covent Garden is a complete triumph; it feels more like a prolonged case of Stockholm Syndrome.

Second Date With A Little Black Dress [New York Times]
Deborah Voigt: The Return Of The Little Black Dress [Youtube]
With Surgery, Soprano Sheds A Brünnhilde Body [New York Times]

Jezebel: deborah voigt

Sometimes A Parent's Words Can Bear The Weight Of The World

Opera Singer Is Rehired After She Loses Over 100 Pounds Through Gastric Bypass