SPENCER: Enough with this Joe-the-Plumber shit already. At my debate-watching get-together last night, I wondered who would be the first douchey pundit to proclaim that JTP won the debate, and sure enough this guy said it and so did That One. The internet means your cliches have a shorter half-life. In other news, good morning. What did you think of what McCain had to say about, why... women's issues!

MEGAN: I guess I would start with... wow, when did Sarah Palin's positions start to seem less extreme than McCain's on reproductive choice?

SPENCER: Might you be referring to his dismissal of "women's 'health'"?

MEGAN: Like, since when is having an abortion to avoid dying an extremely infanticidal decision?

SPENCER: Extremely Infanticidal should be the name of my band's EP.

MEGAN: You're totally welcome to it! When did "choose life" become "there's only one potential life that matters, and it isn't yours"?

SPENCER: On the basic political calculation behind his 15-minute long attack on women: I had thought he was trying to peel off HRC voters. Do you think he (a) figured he can't, and might as well consolidate the anti-choice base, or (b) acted without any regard to strategy? (As illustrated by this.)

MEGAN: I think the crazy just came out of his mouth. I mean, only 10 percent of people think abortion should be illegal without exceptions. At that point, he's more extreme than most of his own party, male or female. Even South Dakota wrote exceptions into their fucking referendum this year. Speaking of, I have to say, I thought Obama's point about not letting states decide the applicability of our constitutional rights by referendum was good. I also wish he'd pointed out that, by amending the Constitution, we'd sort of already taken states' feelings into account on those things. Of course, I thought that while I was typing just now and not at the time, but bygones. I think where he was probably trying to go but failed to articulate properly was this fucked-up right-wing idea that a "mental health" exception is an extreme exception that someone tagged Obama with having for late term abortions months ago, but it was way past Peepaw's bedtime at that point.

SPENCER: One quick thing, and this isn't really directed at you so much as it is the Culture: everyone, I want you to stop using cutesy goyische nicknames for "grandfather" and "grandmother." This shit is really annoying. Remember what I said earlier about the internet accelerating the halflife of cliches? Anyway: back to McCain and women's issues. So he starts talking about the Culture Of Life and such —

But that does not mean that we will cease to protect the rights of the unborn. Of course, we have to come together. Of course, we have to work together, and, of course, it's vital that we do so and help these young women who are facing such a difficult decision, with a compassion, that we'll help them with the adoptive services, with the courage to bring that child into this world and we'll help take care of it.

— and here I just thought I heard this from Bush for the past eight years and abortions have increased. The "Culture of Life" — is this all the right has to talk about abortion, aside from shaming women? IS THIS IT?

MEGAN: I love how there he ignored Obama's whole point about sex education and economic well-being would be better ways to reduce abortion, and just went straight for "y'all bitches can just adopt" as though that's difficult, logistically speaking. Yeah, I mean, there's only one life the Culture Of Life embraces, and that's the tadpole in one's uterus. Your life? Pshaw. The lives of convicted felons? Hardly. Save tax money and whatever, because that's a defensible moral position. Your quality of life? Also not important, only the fetus gets to have life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness before you even expel it from your womb because you obviously forfeited your rights to any of those by having sex you dirty, dirty slut. Also, here is your scarlet S, please staple it to your breast plate and carry on, you need to be marked so men will know your sin.

SPENCER: You really need to start a band. Times like this I miss Adrienne Droogas. But I want to press you on the politics of this, since I have a feeling this blog's readership agrees on the substance here (and rightly so): did McCain just write the women's vote off?

MEGAN: I think that to have done so would require some forethought, which his answer didn't have. Also, women make up 52 percent of registered voters in this country and slightly more of a percentage of participating voters and when independent women swing, they tend to swing en masse and get the guy elected. See: GWB. So, Hillary's voters aside, I don't think it was deliberate. What I think it was last night was some combination of fatigue and not parsing his words, and his mask that he's not really into the culture wars and meh on criminalizing abortion slipped. James Dobson apparently didn't look deep enough into his soul during the primaries to notice that, beneath his convenient political veneer, McCain is a solid, extremist anti-choice politician like any other.

SPENCER: I guess it's just hard to know what McCain actually thinks on an issue he seems not to really care about, but his cavalier-to-contemptuous attitude toward women in general would surely color his politics here. And speaking of cavalier, that brings us to the best moment of the entire debate. Obama's excellent, excellent, excellent answer on Roe — full throated defense, "correctly decided," "right to privacy," etc; when was the last time you heard a Democrat say things like that in a general election? never — preceded a gracious-to-awesome acknowledgment of a substantive division in the country on the issue. And then came this:

But there surely is some common ground when both those who believe in choice and those who are opposed to abortion can come together and say, "We should try to prevent unintended pregnancies by providing appropriate education to our youth, communicating that sexuality is sacred and that they should not be engaged in cavalier activity, and providing options for adoption, and helping single mothers if they want to choose to keep the baby."

Let it be known that I want my imaginary Jezebel byline to be Spencer "Cavalier Activity Machine" Ackerman.

MEGAN: Seriously, you had a kitchen full of women going, what the fuck does Spencer have to do with UVA with your Twitter about "cavalier activity wanted" last night.

SPENCER: That's how I do, girl.

MEGAN: See, now, at the time, blogging away, I heard that as "having unprotected sex" but seeing it written out, I guess he did mean promiscuous. Oh, Barack, I didn't avoid teenage pregnancy because I had sacred, loving sex. I avoided it because I used condoms when I boned. Plus dumb luck a couple of times when I did have serious, relationship this-will-last-forever sex with my boyfriend when we stupidly neglected the condoms.

SPENCER: Wait, is there a serious point to make about "cavalier activity"?

MEGAN: I think there's a serious point about legislating and trying to teach morality in public institutions, but SILLY ME I want the government away from my personal life. Gosh, I sound like a Republican only they just pay lip service to that the same way John McCain is paying lip service to cutting spending and Joe the Motherfucking Plumber. Who, by the way, is a flat tax proselytizer and an unregistered voter. You know what that means, right?

SPENCER: That he's the Real American we'll never be?

MEGAN: I was going to go with crazy, mouth-breathing, close-talking, civic-duty shunning libertarian, but either way. At least he's not a Fair Taxer, those guys are completely insane. But he is a racist.

SPENCER: According to Dean Baker at TAP, JTP will see his taxes rise under Senator Government's plan by zero to $900. The American dream IS DEAD.

MEGAN: Dude, that's $900 he could spend on belts and condoms for when the lonely housewives start checking him out.

10:30 ET: Bob Schieffer quotes his mama, and McCain's mike picks up him telling Obama "Good job." We're cracking champagne and Michelle is in purple and Cindy's in red and I will see you all at Crappy Hour!

10:28 ET: Obama gets the closing statement. Odds of Schieffer allowing a McCain rebuttal? Change, change, McSame, "you've invited me into your homes" and he can come over to mine any time. But "we're going to have to invest in the American people again," which is a good line. It's not going to be easy or quick to change everything, but we have to come together "to renew a spirit of sacrifice, service and responsibility" and he'll work on your behalf and on behalf of our children's future.

10:27 ET: McCain: "blink blink blink blink blink" says Kate. We miss part of it counting but lose track at like 25. Also, he just keeps talking about reducing government spending, but he forgets to mention how he said in the last debate that he's going to exempt defense spending, homeland security spending and veterans spending from cuts, and his science guy said science policy was safe. He then references his ancestors.

10:25 ET: Obama shouts out Adrian Fenty and Michelle Rhee!! We now have a wonky discussion about charters and vouchers in D.C. and by "discussion" we ask questions of the education wonk here that I can't really repeat and McCain interrupts and cracks a stupid joke and THUS he gets the last word again.

10:23 ET: McCain is "surprised" that Obama didn't pay enough attention to the DC voucher program, as though everything here is perfect. Also, spending more money isn't always the answer for McCain, he wants to cut Head Start because when kids get to the 3rd grade, the students that were identified early as having learning difficulties are the same as all the other kids. Isn't that the point? Plus, special needs kids are all autistic and Sarah Palin knows about stuff and blah blah blah I'm not just going to give money to it.

10:22 ET: Republicans were all, "we shouldn't give money to every interest group" but that Obama replied "I don't think American students are an interest group."

10:20 ET: Obama thinks it's important for the federal government to help local schools. "We tried to do this... with No Child Left Behind. Only, they left the money behind." Education wonks laughed. He then points out that he is for charter schools.

10:18 ET: Wait, we have "equal access" to schools in America, because of course you can always enroll in a school. Also, we can find bad teachers another line of work. He's talking about charter schools as though Obama didn't say 5 minutes ago that he supported them. Oh, and he thinks we give too much money for education. And he is all for student loans, fuck you and your life mortgage.

10:17 ET: Obama calls student loans "having a mortgage before you have a house." Fuck yeah.

10:16 ET: The question is about education. Obama says that education is a national security issues. Nice pivot, but bullshit. He thinks we need more money and reform.

10:14 ET: McCain says that "health is an extreme position" on abortion. McCain says "of course we have to come together"... to ban abortion under every circumstance to help women bring their child into the world. AND BOB SCHIEFFER LETS MCCAIN HAVE THE LAST WORD.

10:11 ET: Seriously, McCain didn't read every single fact check on this issue? Obama, "If it sounds incredible that I would vote to withhold lifesaving treatment from an infant, that's because it's untrue." He points out how many people opposed it, and says that he's for a complete ban on late term abortions "partial birth or otherwise" as long as there's an exception for the life and health of the mother, which this bill didn't have. Obama thinks there might be common ground on abortion, and McCain audible sighs. That common ground is about preventing unwanted pregnancy, helping single mothers and teaching children that sex is sacred.

10:10 ET: McCain says equal pay legislation only helps trial lawyers. OH and he goes for infanticide. Nofucking way.

10:08 ET: Obama acknowledges that Roe v. Wade hangs in the balance of the next Supreme Court nominees. It's a tough choice, and there are people on both sides of the aisle. He says women should be able to choose, and that privacy is a right in the Constitution that shouldn't be subject to state referendum just like our other Constitutional rights shouldn't be subject to state referendum. Then he pivots to our girl Lilly Ledbetter and her case about pay equity and the bill that would "provide better guidance to the courts" and McCain opposed it.

10:07 ET: I survey the room as to whether anyone remembers the Gang of 14, and one person says "Lindsay Graham does." I say, Lindsay Graham knows lots about gangs, and bangs, and groups of large men. We debate whether McCain might nominate Schwarzenegger to the bench.

10:05 ET: Bob Schieffer lets Obama have the last word. McCain denies he would have an abortion litmus test, but he thinks Roe v. Wade was totally, totally wrong and it should be left to the states and now he's going to talk about the Gang of 14.

10:04 ET: He talks directly to Joe again, and OMG THE GOVERNMENT IS SO BIG but he forgets to mention that Bush is the one who expanded the government. Whoa, Bob Schieffer lets Obama talk.

10:03 ET: McCain redefines JOE THE PLUMBER (drink! drink!) and decides that under his new definition Joe is better off even though he just pointed out that he will pay more taxes if they keep employer-based health insurance.

10:01 ET: Obama's like, oh, and I'll give Joe a tax credit. Obama reminds people that McCain's $2500 tax credit if you're single and $5000 if you're married/have a family that might not buy you anything when your employer kicks you off their health insurance because McCain starts taxing it.

10:00 ET: Obama points out that he exempts small businesses from the mandate and McCain's jaw literally fucking drops and we all laugh and laugh and laugh.

9:59 ET: McCain supposedly feels your pain, so he'll put your medical records online, try to make your kid less fat, give your employer tax breaks for going to the gym. DRINK it's Joe the Plumber. Also, he'll give you a tax break and hates Obama's fines for not offering health insurance and LALALA it won't reduce the problem of the uninsured.

9:56 ET: Obama says health care will break your heart. The he repeats what he's said in every other debate. But they are good points because he has a better plan.

9:54 ET: We're back to preconditions. We debate whether Obama is laughing too much. The one dude here says yes, the women are divided. McCain brings up Herbert Hoover AND BOB SCHIEFFER LETS HIM HAVE THE LAST WORD.

9:52 ET: Obama is against the Colombian FTA because they keep executing labor leaders and we should stand up for human rights, but he supported the Peruvian one. Obama goes back to energy, and the automakers. I decide to drink more. Drink, baby, drink. He's already going to win Michigan, do you think this gets him Ohio? Discuss.

9:50 ET: McCain "admires Obama's eloquence" but if we say we'll drill now even though we won't get any oil for 10 years it'll just magically lower prices. Then he claims Obama has never been to the Southern Hemisphere because, really, he forgot that Palin didn't have a passport until late this decade.

9:48 ET: Obama's like, look, we can eliminate our dependence on oil from the Middle East and Venezuela in 10 years, that's what's realistic. He is like, expand domestic production on the 68 million acres the oil companies aren't drilling but already have leased (which they're not using because increasing supply would decrease prices, if you missed economics) they either drill, baby, drill. Also, now he's repeating his points about domestic hybrids and shit at the last debate. He then is all like, let's talk NAFTA, I like free trade but that NAFTA doesn't have enforceable labor and environmental provisions and I cringe. It does. It's called a side agreement because a free trade agreement is only tariff lines and the side agreements are completely enforceable and covers all other issues including services AND THIS ANNOYS ME ABOUT DEMOCRATS.

9:46 ET: McCain inhales so hard we're afraid he almost dies. By the way, importing Canadian oil is fine with McCain. We realize that we forgot to TiVo Project Runway! Epic fail! Luckily it reruns at 11. It's also more important than anything McCain said.

9:43 ET: Oh, right, Obama points out that understanding special needs kids might actually require spending more on it, and a spending freeze won't help. Also, McCain says that Biden is wrong on national security issues, and voted against the first Gulf War and calls his plan to divide Iraq "cockamamie" and didn't you know that it's all fine there now? Also, fuck it, he says, why do we have to spend more on special needs kids? Understanding is enough. AND BOB SCHIEFFER LETS MCCAIN HAVE THE LAST WORD.

9:43 ET: Sarah Palin is understanding! Also, did you know she has a special needs kid?

9:39 ET: Why would the country be better off with your VP being the President than his? Obama's like, Biden rocks, he knows stuff about foreign policy, he never forgot his roots, etc.

9:36 ET: McCain keeps up on it, and tells lies and gets the Annernberg name wrong AND BOB SCHIEFFER LETS HIM HAVE THE LAST WORD>

9:35 ET: "Mr. Ayers has become the centerpiece of Senator McCain's campaign over the last 2-3 weeks." He points out that Ayers is a college prof, did horrible things when Obama was 8 and that the Annenberg Challenge, which is Republican-y. Ayers isn't involved in the campaign, never has been and never will be. ACORN is a community organization that got screwed by employees, but he also represented them along with the Justice Department back in the day. Now he talks good associations — Buffet, Vogler, Biden, Lugar, General Jim Jones. He says that McCain's obsession with Ayers says more about him than it does about him.

9:34 ET: Obama is asked if he takes issues with that shit, and he stutters a little. He's like, let's talk about the issues. NO! We want you to take issue with that. The 7 people here want you to take issue with that! He says, let's stop trying to characterize each other as bad people. McCain interrupts again, and brings up Ayers, ACORN and Hillary Clinton and Obama laughs outright AND WHY IS SCHIEFFER ALLOWING THIS?

9:32 ET: McCain says "Let me say categorically that I am proud of the people that come to my rallies." Oh, really, all of them? McCain says they're just dedicated patriots. Oh, and he says he doesn't like things that get shouted at Obama's rallies and some T-shirts, which the rest of the country went, what?

9:30 ET: Obama's like, oh you want to talk Lewis? He was saying that maybe you should FUCKING SAY SOMETHING when Palin hears "Kill him" or "Terrorist" and McCain tries to interrupt again, but this time Bob Schieffer FINALLY shuts him down. Obama's like, stop attacking, because Americans are sick of it. McCain audibly snorts, tries to interrupt again and McCain tries to interrupt two more times.

9:29 ET: Oh, wait, John McCain says that "every ad was an attack ad on my health care plan." That's not an attack ad. McCain then promptly repudiates his own position on stem cell research, and misrepresents it on immigration and brings up the FUCKING PLUMBER. That's the new drinking word.

9:27 ET: Obama agrees it's a tough campaign, and points out that 2/3rd of people say that McCain is running a negative campaign and only 1/3 of people do, plus 100 percent of McCain's ads are negative. McCain interrupts to say that's not true, but Obama shuts him down. He calls bullshit that it's all because he didn't do townhalls. He says "I don't mind being attacked for the next 3 weeks. What America can't afford is 4 more years of failed economic policies." He says, so, sure, let's talk about economics, energy, health care and college education.

9:26 ET: McCain hits John Lewis, and said it hurt his feelings and says that Obama hasn't repudiated Lewis' remarks but he always repudiated them. ALSO, he still hasn't repeated a fucking charge. He's not going to bring up Ayers. He's hitting up Obama on public financing, which also no one cares about. And he's just mad Obama has more money.

9:25 ET: McCain says that the reason it's gone all nasty is because he didn't do town hall meetings. BUT he's scroting/pussying out by not repeating them.

9:24 ET: Bob wants to know about why they've gone so fucking negative, and wants them to say it to each other. YAY!

9:24 ET: Um, so, like why the fuck does McCain get to end every Q&A, seriously? Also, drink for the first mention of 9/11.

9:21 ET: Obama says he voted in support of tort reform and charter schools and pay for performance with teachers and clean coal, which aren't exactly all-Democrat leadership ideas. Obama says that Fox News disputes McCain's assertion that Obama voted for a tax increase for people making $42,000 a year, "and that doesn't happen a lot." Plus, he's like, since when are you not a supporter of Bush when you aren't running for President when he's unpopular? We need that picture of him hugging him right about now.

9:19 ET: McCain really thinks he can balance the budget in 4 years, and he's not President Bush — so if Obama wanted to run against Bush he shouldn't run 4 years ago? Really? That's his argument. Also, Bloomberg just initiated a spending freeze, so he'll totally get a surplus again. Also, "Americans are angry tonight and I get that." No shit, we've all seen your fucking rallies.

9:18 ET: Sigh. We're back to talking about earmarks but NO ONE CARES. Obama is all like, earmarks aren't where the real money is you idiot. Going back to drinking. Bush had a surplus when he started, and now we have a deficit.

9:17 ET: By the way, McCain's all like "let's get rid of tariffs on ethanol" which totally just lost him Iowa.

9:15 ET: Obama wants us to have a "culture of responsibility." McCain's all like I LIKE HILLARY'S PLAN LADIES VOTE FOR ME!!

9:13 ET: Obama wants you to know that if the bailout works, we'll get our money back. We also decide we don't really care about deficits, but Obama hits up PAYGO which is THE MOST BORING policy ever.

9:12 ET: Is Obama going to fucking call McCain out on the difference between tax rates and effective tax rates? Mention that he, too, called for cutting the corporate income tax rate to 25% by reducing credits and loopholes. Bob Schieffer lets McCain have the first and last word, which is bad moderating.

9:11 ET: Obama is all like, Warren Buffet could have afforded to pay more when Joe the plumber wasn't making $250,000+ and year. McCain keeps interrupting and it's not cool when Obama is being chill.

9:10 ET: John McCain hits him on "We need to spread the wealth around." Are these follow up questions? No. McCain goes with CLASS WARFARE OH MY GOD.

9:08 ET: Obama is outright laughing at McCain's lies the way we are in this room. By the way, "this room" is Kay Steiger's living room. And the food that I'm eating was prepared by her fabulous roommate Kate. And now he talks all about his tax plans, and goes back to what he said to Joe the plumber, which was that he needed a tax break when he started to buy his business and he wants to give one to the people who need one now.

9:07 ET: McCain doesn't want to ask a follow up, he wants to talk about the plumber in Ohio who wasn't going to be able to buy his business. We are all shouting at the TV variations on the fact that McCain is bullshitting us.

9:05 ET: Obama says it's a bad financial crisis and the support plan's a good first step. What we haven't seen is a rescue plan for the middle class. Other liveblogger at my debate party says "It's like he's in the living room explaining it to us." This is probably why Axelrod said today it was more about style than substance training since the last debate. Also, by the way, he's not saying a ton that isn't out there if you haven't been paying attention.

9:03 ET: John brings up Nancy Reagan, and "Fannie and Freddie Mae." Oh, who doesn't know about them now, bitch?

9:02 ET: Bob wants to talk Wall Street, and their economic plans. He wants to know why each plan is better to the other guy.

9:01 ET: Bob Schieffer will let them ask questions! And they're out!

• P.U.M.A. hunter Katie Halper put together a campaign commercial for John McCain so that his female supporters all understand what they're voting for — including unequal pay, a lack of reproductive choice and half-assed health insurance coverage. Politics starts at home, ladies. [Katie Halper]
• Actual McCain staffers and Sarah Palin are trying to convince John McCain to open up Wright debate again because — as Sarah said yesterday — they've got nothing to lose. McCain, however, still likes his dignity some, so they're sneaking around behind his back to find other people to fund it. [Politico, CBS]
• Yes, of course, Obama is totally prepped to talk about Ayers tonight. He's probably prepped to talk about Wright, too, if it comes to that. [Chicago Tribune]
• McCain's been prepping, too, if this leaked debate prep video is anything to go by. Join in on my liveblog (thread starts at 7:30 ET, I start blogging at 9:00 ET) to see if he takes any of their advice! [The Jed Report]

• Wonder Woman Linda Carter thinks Sarah Palin is the anti-Wonder Woman, calling her "judgmental and dictatorial" and suggesting that Hillary Clinton is more the W.W. archetype. Go Linda Carter! [The Hill]
• Apparently, since Colin Powell is now a confirmed African-American, having announced it at a rally in Africa, Fox News is ready to guarantee that he's going to endorse Obama. There's nothing racist about that, though, nope, not at all. Don't you know all black people do everything together? [Washington Independent]
• Kansas Senator Pat Robert's Democratic opponent, Jim Slattery, has a new ad that makes it look like Wall Street is pissing on us little people. That's kind of what it feels like some days. [Attackerman]
• With another stock sell-off on Wall Street, today was one of those days. [NY Times]

MEGAN: Are you excited for the final showdown? The claws will come out, hair will get pulled, someone will get bitchslapped for sure, I am way excited. But, enough about Project Runway, we should probably talk about the news.

SPENCER: Don't talk to me about TV. I came home yesterday to find that my fleeing roommate has absconded with the Flophouse's massive flatscreen, one of the only things that makes my house livable. At least he seems to have left the speakers.

MEGAN: So, I guess you'll be listening to the debates then? Or just bargain hunting at Best Buy? If you want, we can make use of my Sam's Club card sometime. Sadly, Obama won't be perched on a stool looking damn cool this time while Crankypants paces around trying to figure out why he's losing.

SPENCER: I'm too elitist to shop at Sam's Club.

MEGAN: They have arugula, I checked!

SPENCER: So what's the format this time?

MEGAN: Seated behind a desk instead of standing behind podiums, they will both get to deal with Bob Schieffer's questions and McCain won't be able to condescend to anyone but the two of them and the viewing public writ large.

SPENCER: The debate going back and forth in liberal circles: is McCain really stupid enough to think Obama doesn't have a good response line to Ayers; or does Obama really... not have a good response line to Ayers? WHO YA GOT?

MEGAN: I think he ought to have a good response to Ayers, but his ability to pull it off depends on how the question is framed. He didn't do so well with the whole preconditions thing in the first debate. But this is a decent start, from someone willing to call Ayers "friend."

SPENCER: I just sent a desperate email to my old roommate begging her to move back to the Flophouse. I'm sorry — yeah, Tom Frank. I wonder: does the country have the maturity to handle this line:

Nor will I quibble with those who find Mr. Ayers wanting in contrition. His 2001 memoir is shot through with regret, but it lacks the abject style our culture prefers.

MEGAN: Even Paris Hilton had to find God in prison, so, my answer would be: no.

SPENCER: So much packed into that one. And right you are: Would conservatives actually be satisfied, even if Ayers performed a full renunciation? But when you're down a massive 14 points in a two-candidate field you take your satisfaction where you find it, if I can butcher a Murder City Devils line.

MEGAN: Well, I think this is probably at least an equally accurate description of their motivations:

There are a lot of things to call this tactic, but "country first" isn't one of them. The nation wants its hope and confidence restored, and Republican leaders have chosen instead to wave the bloody shirt. This is their vilest hour.

I think they are salting the earth, basically.

SPENCER: There'll always be something viler, though. You can't expect them to have found the bottom floor. Even after the guns go off...

MEGAN: That's true, but, technically, you don't salt the earth after you retreat, you salt it on your way out.

SPENCER: In fact, I want to outsource my crazy-winger morning commentary to my friend's Twitter feed today:

O'Reilly tonight: "Democrats complain about personal attacks, but WAIT TIL YOU SEE Doonsbury's attack on Sarah Palin."

MEGAN: I believe that is when the Republican Party jumps the shark. Are there non-dittoheads who didn't roll their eyes at that? Because I rolled mine so far back I gave myself more of a headache.

SPENCER: Speaking of Twitter, I'm taking an aside: Is anyone else getting porn spam on their LOCKED Twitter accounts? And furthermore, do you have any idea how porn spam is supposed to work on Twitter? (@unsuspectinguser, just finished shooting a bukkake movie. less gross than suspected)

MEGAN: Um, some porny person tried to add me, but I blocked him and also, ew.

SPENCER: Speaking of bukkake, Palin's negatives are extremely high in that NYT poll

MEGAN: I am not sure I will ever be able to write as good a segue as that one, so I have decided not to try.

SPENCER:

Ms. Palin’s favorability rating is now 32 percent, down 8 points from last month, and her unfavorable rating climbed nine percentage points to 41 percent.

John McCain: so few opportunities to shoot his load, and this is where he aims... Sometimes I forget people read this in the morning.

MEGAN: Yes, I briefly had a mental image of John McCain's Oh face, there, which means I won't eat until lunch but I had a big dinner and baked cookies, so I probably don't need to eat breakfast anyway. And I won't be needing yogurt, that's for sure. In a completely not awkward segue, we should probably talk about John McCain's crazypants brother, who thinks that the campaign is run by idiots who write bad ads and don't let John be John. He apparently spammed the entire Republican party with his missive.

SPENCER: Not to use a cliche, but it's interesting that Joe "Northern Virginia is Communist Country" McCain thinks the campaign has been too restrained. What in the world would count as "unshackled" to a man like him?

MEGAN: Well, it is the People's Republic of Arlington. I'm sure he just got confused. But let Joe McCain put to rest all thoughts that John McCain got his crazy on in the Hanoi Hilton.

SPENCER: And "Let John McCain Be John McCain"? This isn't a campaign strategy, it's a coping mechanism. I have no inclination to believe at this point that McCain isn't being McCain — he disgraced himself in the Keating 5 scandal and he disgraced himself in the 2000 race when he pandered to racists on the South Carolina confederate flag and he's disgraced himself today. Three points determine a line. Look, if he were my brother, I'd blame everyone else too, but the only thing more consistent than John McCain's willingness to disgrace himself in the pursuit of his ambition is the willingness of the press to believe that he didn't really mean it.

MEGAN: I mean, I never really understood that, actually. Is John McCain really that much more charming than other politicians to political writers? Can you do this for a living and really buy the Straight Talk Express gimmick so easily?

SPENCER: It goes back to self-loathing. If you hate yourself that deeply, then the way he uses you can be a ready substitute for caring. So think about it, press corps! Rediscover your self-worth. You're better than this man.

MEGAN: So, John McCain is just the boyfriend who shines you on that he cares about you and you accept it because you don't know the difference?

SPENCER: And you just end up in his bukkake movie that he leaks to the internet.

• Less than a month until the election, folks, and it's getting really ugly.
• John McCain sounding like a total loon during the debates, calling Obama "That One": ugly.
• Illogical republican strategists yelling at Newsweek for putting a (gasp!) un-retouched photo of Sarah Palin on the cover: ugly!
• Nikki Blonsky kicking Bianca Golden's mom in the vagina at an airport: ugly!
• At least we have the unarguably awesome Sarah Vowell and Donna Brazile to guide us through the ugliness.
• Though they can't really fix the ugly in this mess of the economy... or this Free People catalog.

• Questions about pelvic exams? We're at your cervix.
• Speaking of pelvic exploration, Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist has an endearing and accurate depiction of teen sex.
• Thank jebus it's the weekend. So kick back with a career romance like the young modern you are, and have a fantastic 48 hours with Hortense!

By the way, we got this little goodie from Gawker's Richard Blakeley, from when John McCain proposed former eBay CEO Meg Whitman as a potential Treasury Secretary.

10:33 ET: The block Brokaw's access to his teleprompter and Tom makes them move. They start working the crowd. Cindy comes out in a royal blue or deep purple suit that is just a tetch too tight across the breasts. Michelle is in a red dress with sparkly bits around the collar. Amusingly, McCain and Cindy and shaking hands and Obama seems to be having conversations with people. McCain interrupts them. Then its punditry time! And I can finally take a drink! I'll see you all on Crappy Hour in the morning!

10:31 ET: McCain says that he doesn't know anything that everyone doesn't know — the future. Duh. But he's spent his whole life serving his country/sucking on the government teat. Like Cindy, his mom was basically a single parent while his dad pursued his career. He also believe in this country, its future and its greatness. And, you know, for someone that accuses the other guy of using fancy rhetoric, he does it a lot. He also repeats the line about "a steady hand at the tiller."

10:29 ET: Peggy in New Hampshire wants to know: what don't you know and how will you learn it. Obama says Michelle could give you a long list and the audience laughs. He says the challenges will be immense and there will be unexpected challenges. He knows that there are so many opportunities in this country, and the question is whether we will pass on the American dream to the next generation or not: health care, college affordability, etc, and if we don't change from the last 8 years we won't get any of that.

10:25 ET: Obama won't wait for the Security Council. He also thinks we need to work more effectively with others, reduce energy consumption, impose smart sanctions on Iran (like on importing gasoline) to put the squeeze on them. He says we should have direct talks with Iran to get them to have better outcomes and he points out that the Bush plan of not talking to the Axis of Evil hasn't actually done any good.

10:24 ET: Terry wants to know if they'll commit troops to defending Israel if Iran attacks or wait for the UN Security Council. McCain says he won't wait for the Security Council and that China and Russia wouldn't let us anyway. He's going after Ahmadenijad and the whole preconditions thing and says "a matter of record" like Obama would pretend he didn't say it. Then he starts talking about the League of Democracies making Iran give up on getting nukes. And then he mentions "a Second Holocaust" again. What's the McCain-Palin obsession with "a second Holocaust"? Technically, if nuking something is a second Holocaust, anyone nuking Israel will be a fourth one, since we nuked Japan twice.

10:23 ET: Brokaw: Is Russia evil? Obama says that they've done evil things. McCain says maybe: if he says yes, he'll reignite the Cold War, and if he says no, he's ignoring their behavior. So, like with Pakistan, he's just not going to say anything.

10:20 ET: Obama says moral support isn't enough — we need to provide them with concrete assistance. He also thinks that maybe it would be good to be paying enough attention so that it doesn't get to that point again. He brings it back to not catching Osama bin Laden. Also, he mentions that getting our energy consumption under control so they can't use petrodollars to make mischief.

10:17 ET: It's a question on Russia! McCain doesn't like Russia. Randy Scheunemann is obviously better at debate prep than anyone else on McCain's staff. Also, it's all about getting Georgia and Ukraine into NATO and giving them "moral support," whatever that means.

10:16 ET: Brokaw asks them how they would reorganize our strategy over there. Obama says he'd withdraw responsibly from Iraq to put some more troops in Afghanistan. And the government in Afghanistan needs to be more responsive to its people not less. McCain says that Obama is correct on some things about strategy in Iraq and Afghanistan. But he wants Obama to admit he was wrong about the Surge in Iraq, and if you make Iraqis feel secure they'll lead normal lives except when insurgents are blowing shit up but at least it will feel normal.

10:12 ET: Obama wants a follow up, McCain dickishly agrees but doesn't sit down, Brokaw concedes. Obama points out he didn't threaten to invade Pakistan but we're going to take al Qaeda out. McCian tries to interrupt, but Obama points out the bomb bomb Iran thing and eliminating North Korea and was all about going into Iraq from the moment the Taliban was deposed in Afghanistan. McCain disagrees with Obama, but he didn't say on what. But he knows how to handles these crises. He says "my friends" again and he totes is going to go after Osama IN PAKISTAN he's just not going to say that he's going to go take out Osama IN PAKISTAN which is where he is. Don't you see how it's different?

10:10 ET: McCain wants to attack Pakistan without telling them. Also, diplomacy is, like, totally important as long as it's not with Iran, North Korea, Cuba or Venezuela. He just keeps basically repeating this.

10:07 ET: Katie wants to know if we should pursue al Qaeda into Pakistan (like we did in Cambodia in Vietnam) or not? Obama says the situation is bad in Afghanistan and Pakistan because we got distracted by Iraq. They're now raiding our troops in Afghanistan, and it's important to reverse course because that's the real front of the war on terror. We can't coddle a dictator, give him billions of dollars and let him make peace treaties and shit. So we're going to expand aid to Pakistan as long as they go after insurgents and if we have Osama in our sights, we're going to fucking kill him if the Pakistanis won't.

10:03 ET: Brokaw says, let's establish the Obama and the McCain Doctrines about using force when we don't have national security issues at stake (Darfur). Obama says we might not always have national security issues at stake, but sometimes a moral issue — if we could've stopped the Holocaust or Rwanda, wouldn't we have. Things like that are in our national interest. But we can't be everywhere all the time, so we need to work with our allies to be places. McCain says, my friend, that if we set up a withdrawal date in Iraq and, Jesus, his panting is really getting to me. Also, he'll bring our troops back with victory and honor, my friends. Our willingness to go into places has to be tempered with an ability to be effective — look at Somalia where we didn't do anything. Also, Lebanon was a clusterfuck. And he knows what to do.

10:00 ET: Obama says that he doesn't understand how we ended up invading a country that had nothing to do with 9/11 when Osama and al Qaeda were setting up base camps. Oh, snap. Also, Iraq has put an enormous strain on our heroic and honorable troops — and on our budget, through which we've already spent $700 billion and we're spending $10 billion a month when the Iraqis have a $79 billion surplus. Also, McCain hasn't said how he'll pay to keep troops there until 2013. Also, by the way, McCain can talk about going into Darfur all he wants but we can't and stay in Iraq.

9:58 ET: Phil wants to know how our recent economic stress will allow us to act as a peacemaker in a world. McCain says a strong economy begets a strong military. Then he says "my friends" again. And now he's talking about the decisions of when we go in and when we don't, and you need to have the judgment to know when to go in and prevent genocide and when to bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran. And Obama was wrong about the Surge and about Russia. And he says "my friend" again.

9:54 ET: Brokaw says is health care a privilege, right or responsibility? McCain says it's a responsibility in some respects but that mandates are bad. Obama says he thinks it should be a right, since people can't get treated and that his mom shouldn't have had to spend the last months of her life arguing with her health insurance company to get treated for cancer. People were sort of nodding. He acknowledges that he would mandate (cheap) health care and mentions that John McCain voted against SCHIP expansion. He thinks that we also need to crack down on health insurance companies cheating their customers. And he makes a good argument about why it's bad to go state-by-state — insurance companies will just move to the state with the fewest consumer protection regulations.

9:52 ET: John McCain knows it's a problem, and he repeats the same talking points Obama opened with. He also goes after health care IT, and community health centers. He says this is a fundamental difference between him and Obama, that Obama wants to get government involved and mandate that you get or or you'll get fined — you know, like Mitt Romney does in Massachusetts. And he thinks people in Tennessee should be able to get health insurance in Arizona, like, if it's so expensive that it's cheaper to fly to Arizona there are bigger problems.

9:49 ET: Lindsey wants to know if Obama thinks health care should be for-profit. Obama says he hears about health care all the time because it's breaking family budgets and there are ton of people without it. Premiums, copays and deductibles are all going up. He says that if you have health care, you can keep your plan and he's going to work with your employers to lower premiums by investing in IT and working on preventative care and, if you don't have it, you'll be able to buy into the federal system. McCain will just give you a $5K tax credit after he taxes your employer based health care and eliminate state regulation on mandated coverage. Actually, I looked it up, if you're single, you'll only get a $2,500 tax credit.

9:45 ET: Brokaw asks if we should have a new Manhattan Project for energy or the private sector. McCain says both and then says my friends again and talks about how Obama voted for the Bush energy bill and he votes against bills with earmarks. He also called Obama "that one." Also, drill! And nuclear power.

9:44 ET: Obama says a "new energy economy" can bring tons and tons of jobs, but it requires that we make an investment the same that that the government basically invented the computer. He likes nuclear power in addition to solar, geothermal and other alternative fuels. Then he mentions that McCain voted against alternative fuels 23 times. Also, we can't drill, baby, drill our way out of the problem because we have minimal capacity and maximum appetite.

9:42 ET: Ingrid wants to know how he'll make sure that Congress moves quickly on climate change. McCain says we're in the midst of tough economic times, and mentions that he disagrees with Bush on climate change. He worked with Lieberman, who probably most people don't really think is a Democrat since he's not. Then he's all about muclear power being safe and clean since he was on a ship with nuclear power and just look at him. I mean, don't, because he looks freaky, but you know. Also, he wants hydrogen and battery-powered cars. And he's totally doing this crazy talking points thing that Palin did.

9:40 ET: McCain decides he'll answer the question this time. It's not that tough to fix it, and then he says "my friends" again. He keeps saying how unpopular with Republicans. But Medicare is tougher, so he wants to have a commission like the BRAC on closing bases so Congress can't reform it and he also says "my friends" again. And then it's back to taxes. Then he's back to talking about how Obama voted for budgets which didn't go through which meant taxes and listen to his vision for the future.

9:37 ET: There's a question from Langdon in Ballston Spa, NY, shout out! Also, then Brokaw decides its about entitlement reform. Obama says you can't deal with entitlement reform without understanding taxes. He says he's going to give a tax cut to 95% of Americans. If you make more than $250,000 he will raise your taxes, and most small businesses make less than that, pluis he'll give a tax credit for health care. Then he talks about McCain's tax cuts for big businesses and rich people. If we fix tax policy, we'll be in a position to deal with Social Security and Medicare.

9:34 ET: McCain says Obama wants to raise taxes, makes a joke about Jello (old people food) and says "my friends" again. He doesn't care what Obama's tax plans actually say, he just knows they will raise taxes and small businesses will all go under and McCain is practically panting. And then he says "my friends" again and swears he won't cut rich people's taxes but he will give you a credit for having more kids and a tax credit so you get something when he takes away the one your employer gets.

9:32 ET: Brokaw wants to know about breaking the cycle of too much credit and debt. Obama says it should start in Washington with running up debt. It means looking at both spending and revenue. He mentions that earmarks at $18 billion of our budget and McCain's tax cuts that would let the average CEO get $700,000 in tax cuts, that's not asking them to share the burden. You can't ask a teacher to tighten her belt if you can't ask the CEO to do the same. He also says an across-the-board freeze is unfair burden sharing.

9:30 ET: The first mention of 9/11 goes to Obama... But it was all about coming together, and Bush asked everyone to go out and shop which wasn't exactly a call to service. Americans are "hungry for the kind of leadership which is going to attack these problems in and out of government." He brings up energy and says that we're all going to have to think about how we use power. So he talks about exploration and clean coal and whatever, but he wants to provide incentives for Americans to buy American hybrids and become more energy efficiency. Plus he wants to develop a volunteer corps and expand the Peace Corps.

9:27 ET: First internet question is from an 80 year old lady who wants to know what sacrifices they'll ask of Americans. John McCain wants to ask people to eliminate programs. He, too, wants to eliminate programs once he's gone through the budget like Obama just said he would. And he wants to scrutinize earmarks but he wouldn't let the planetarium in Chicago. Also, he wants a spending freeze... on everything but defense spending and veterans programs and other things he won't name. He also wants to go after energy and health care at the same time unlike Barack Obama, since McCain has totes proved his multitasking skills.

9:25 ET: Brokaw yells at McCain for not shutting up. Obama thinks energy should be dealt with today and mentions that gas is $3.80 in Nashville and that our enemies benefit from high oil prices. And he's called for $15 billion in investment in energy independence to end our dependency on foreign oil in 10 years, likens it to the race of the moon. Then he calls for health care reform, and says that education should be his 3rd priority. He wants to go line-by-line through the federal budget to eliminate stuff that doesn't work. He also wants to prioritize tax policy.

9:22 ET: Brokaw cuts him off again. Then he asks about health policy, energy policy and entitlement reform: which will be their priorities. McCain thinks you can work on all 3 at once, he just can't campaign and make phone calls about the bailout at once. Then he says "my friends" again. Also, energy policy will save the American economy. And then he says that part of the $700 billion will end up in the hands of terrorists, and starts randomly talking about health care and then he's back on energy again.

9:20 ET: McCain can see why she's cynical and distrustful because Washington is broken. But he's taken on the system! He worked with Feingold on campaign finance and Lieberman on climate change. But Obama hasn't taken on party leaders. And he thinks that Theresa should go to several conservative organizations like Citizens for Government Waste and the National Taxpayers Union and learn about how they view Obama's record. Also, for the record, he's say "my friends" twice. And Obama is spend spend spend don'tcha know. And by the way, energy independence and drilling offshore will fix the American economy. Really, that's it.

9:17 ET: Theresa wants to know how she can trust either of them when both parties got us into the crisis. Obama understands that she's frustrated because they've kept to their budgets but nobody in Washington has. He reminds her that when Bush came into office we had surpluses and a $5 trillion debt, and now we have $500 billion shortfalls and a $10 trillion national debt. And McCain voted for 4 out of 5 of Bush's budgets. Obama is going to spend money on things like health care, which will impact your budget. We're going to go after a new energy plan and college affordability. Plus he's going to cut spending.

9:15 ET: Brokaw askes Obama if he thinks the economy will get worse before it gets better. Obama says he thinks the economy isn't that bad but there's lots of reform to be done. McCain doesn't really answer.

9:13 ET: Obama tells Oliver what's in it for him, like he asked. He says that getting businesses credit will help them make payroll and stave off closing. Then he says "I've got to correct some of McCain's history, not surprisingly." Ha! Also, then he's like, McCain all used to be about regulation, and about 2 years he wrote to Paulson about subprime loans and went to Wall Street a year ago. Also, brings up McCain's Fannie and Freddie ties through his lobbyists on staff. Obama says it's not the end of the process, it's the beginning.

9:10 ET: Oliver wants to know what is in the bailout that will help out real people. McCain says that it's all about greed on Wall Street and he went back to Washington and suspended his campaign! Then he talks about how Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac and how they are cronies of Obama and mentions that Oliver probably hadn't heard of them before they were giving bad loans to people. I wonder if Oliver has read any of the Republicans say that it's because Fannie and Freddie gave those loans to minorities (Oliver is African-American). Also, McCain hasn't mentioned anything that's in the bailout plan.

9:10 ET: Tom Brokaw reminds them to keep it short.

9:09 ET: Obama says that Warren Buffet would be a pretty good choice. But that the new person needs to understand that it's not just about helping the guys on top and hoping it trickles down. And then he brings up McCain's "the fundamentals of the economy are sound" thingie. Man, that is never going to fucking die.

9:07 ET: Tom Brokaw asks who McCain's Treasury Secretary will be. McCain says it won't be Tom Brokaw. McCain says it has to be someone that Americans will identify with, and then mentions Obama's supporter Warren Buffet. And, um. Meg Whitman because she knows how to create jobs (note: probably more a Commerce Department role, but whatevs).

9:05 ET: John McCain says that Americans are angry, upset and fearful. Man, talk about projection. Then he says energy independence is how to fix the economy. Then keep taxes low, and stop spending and, um, peace in the world. Other than Iraq or Iran. And McCain is now talking about fixing home values? McCain wants the Treasury to buy up all the mortgages people are about to default on and then renegotiate them based on the new home values. What??

9:03 ET: Alan wants to know what the fastest solution is to bail out Main Street, only he's not a politician so he doesn't call it that. Obama says that the financial crisis sucks and he knows why y'all are worried. He also thinks this is a failure of Bush's economic policies including deregulation. Step 1 was the rescue package and making sure it works properly and that there's oversight and cracking down on CEOs getting golden parachutes. He then calls out AIG's $400,000 junket. He then says middle class tax cuts, helping state and local governments fund infrastructure projects and helping people stay in their homes. Then health care.

9:02 ET: They walk out. McCain heads for his seat first.

9:01 ET: It's Tom Brokaw. It's the only town hall of the debates, as if you didn't know.

9:00 ET: It has started! And, if you watched the last 5 minutes of Countdown, Olbermann and Chris Matthews went there, with Matthews saying the crazy talk brings the crazies out like did with Kennedy. Yipes.

ANA MARIE: I don't think I'm going to see "W." It looks like it's TRYING to be funny. And Oliver Stone movies are the most amusing when the humor is completely unintentional.

MEGAN: I believe it is trying to be funny.

ANA MARIE: Chris and I watch "JFK" pretty much every time it's on basic cable. Now THAT is a funny movie. I mean, Joe Pesci in a leotard and fucking Kevin Bacon? Pretending to do amyl nitrate? You don't make that funnier just by saying they're playing Republican political leaders. Because then it's just a documentary.

MEGAN: Joe Pesci in a leotard is basically the nightmare I hadn't yet had, so I'll report back tomorrow on my utter lack of sleep tonight. In my mind's eye, it's purple and there is a tutu involved. And he pirouettes up to a car and proceeds to beat someone with a tire iron.

ANA MARIE: It's actually gold lame and he's (or Kevin Bacon, I forget) is dressed as Hermes. Seriously: one of America's finest cinematic events.

MEGAN: Ok, I'm just going to pretend it is Kevin Bacon. Now that I'm thinking about Kevin Bacon boogeying in a gold lame unitard.

ANA MARIE: Perhaps dancing in a county where DANCING HAS BEEN OUTLAWED? That's probably as good a segue as we're going to get to talking about McCain, btw.

MEGAN: And suddenly, in the movable diorama that it my imagination, the tiny, gold lame unitard clad Kevin Bacon stopped his dancing, and hangs his head with sadness as the old man stumbles out and starts yelling at him to get off his lawn or he's going to nuke it.

ANA MARIE: I was watching "Morning Joe" earlier and they were joking around with Robert Gibbs about something or other and he brought up the "get off my lawn" trope and I thought: That's just really unfair to people who legitimately care about their lawns. McCain's commitment to lawns is just base-pleasing pander. Besides, McCain lives in a condo.

MEGAN: Well, in one of his residences, yes.

ANA MARIE: Also? I think McCain lost Scarborough a long time ago, but the happy-happy jokey-joke with Gibbs was still kind of amazing. Not as amazing, however, as McCain loosing Peggy Noonan. Did you hear about that?

MEGAN: I saw Peggy speak last weekend, but I was very hung over.

ANA MARIE: Yesterday on "Hardball" she said she "doesn't know" who she's going to vote for.

MEGAN: She doesn't like the faux populism, which she considers empty and stupid and not a strategy as much as a pander.

ANA MARIE: And I think she once accidentally threw her baseball into McCain's lawn. (It's very hard to stay away from that joke)

MEGAN: (I'm okay with that.) So, why is McCain so fucking angry this week? Because he's losing? And will he lose it on stage tonight?

ANA MARIE: I don't think he's any angrier this week than in the past. He's just taking more pleasure in it. And as for "losing it"... I guess that's why he can't look at Obama, maybe? It's funny how the right makes fun of the liberal "grievance industry" but, essentially, what McCain is mad about is being treated unfairly. To which I believe the traditional R rejoinder is "Well, life isn't fair."

MEGAN: Well, he understands life isn't fair. He was tortured! Didn't you know he was tortured?

ANA MARIE: I am familiar with the outlines of that story, yes. I can't decide if McCain is going into this debate tonight with ridiculously high expectations or if he's entering Palin territory: like, as long as he doesn't forget what day it is, he'll be fine. This is assuming he knows what day it is to begin with.

MEGAN: Well, it's his format, right? He's Mr. Town Hall, he's going to kill tonight and between that and the torture experiences with which I am sure he will make more Americans more familiar, he will be made President as is only his due because life isn't fair. By the way, are you as familiar with Obama's supposed terrorist leanings and his radical friends and whatnot as with McCain's experience as a tortured and yet still heroic POW? Because if you're not, Fox News has a show for you. It sadly doesn't feature Jerome Corsi who has been unavoidably detained in Kenya for working without a work visa. I know I should be all like "free press! free press!" but it made me just a teensy bit pleased in a way I don't like to admit.

ANA MARIE: My favorite thing about the Corsi story is the quote from the Kenyan official, who basically admits they arrested him because, you know, he's an asshole. And,

"We still haven't decided what to do with him."

I kind of feel the same way!

MEGAN: If being an asshole is illegal in Kenya, I guess we know where John McCain won't be visiting...

ANA MARIE: Or either of us, for that matter. Were you shocked to learn about that "new poll of 600 female voters found that most view Hillary Clinton as a better mom, role model and leader than Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, the first woman to be named to a Republican ticket"? Because I sure was! I mean, for Palin to come in second... if it were fair, she'd come in behind "a comfy chair" in all those categories.

MEGAN: Actually, I think the right word my be "flabbergasted." You mean, Americans aren't buying her shtick? I feel like I might have underestimated Americans. I mean, except the ones calling Obama a terrorist at McCain rallies and threatening to kill him at Palin rallies.

ANA MARIE: Yeah, that does not reflect well on the Silent Majority, does it? Or rather, it explains why they are usually asked to stay silent.

MEGAN: Well, and the Palin supporter who told an African-American sound guy to "sit down, boy" at the Palin rally. I thought we had all agreed that it was unacceptable to be an open racist in modern American society? Wasn't there a consensus or a referendum or something?

ANA MARIE: Good thing that black people at Palin rallies are pretty rare!

MEGAN: Hell, I'd make myself scarcer than a condom in the Palin house were I African-American at one of those.

ANA MARIE: And as for that referendum, I believe that's scheduled for the first Tuesday of November.

MEGAN: I'm just going to go waaaaaaaay out on a limb here and suggest that racism will still exist in this country even if Obama gets elected.

ANA MARIE: But it no longer will be the first thing other countries think of when we come up.

MEGAN: That said, where would racists threaten go to avoid an Obama Presidency? Liberals are all, like, going to Canada or France, but it seems like racists hate everyone else.

ANA MARIE: Iceland is apparently in a real financial crisis right now, so a loose coalition of rich racists could probably pick it up cheap. And you don't get countries much whiter.

MEGAN: I don't think that there are enough dirty hooker toes in Iceland for Dick Morris, though.

ANA MARIE: And with that advice, I feel like my dream of ridding the country of racists is one step closer to reality.

MEGAN: We're sorry Iceland! You guys can come here, there might be a lot of space available. And, um, bring the Penis Museum for safekeeping.

ANA MARIE: Aye. Dick Morris. Why is he still appearing in public? Besides being the George Michael of toe-sucking jokes, why do I know ANYTHING MORE ABOUT HIM besides that? Who can I blame?

MEGAN: Have you seen his teeth recently? He's rather obviously still at it.

ANA MARIE: Never has a sexual fetish seemed more poetically appropriate, really. It'd be like finding out that Todd Palin likes to cross-dress. Almost too perfect.

MEGAN: See, I think cross-dressing would be too vanilla for Todd Palin. He's more like mint chocolate chip, you have to throw in a little pegging or something to make it work.

ANA MARIE: Cross dressing and dungeons.

MEGAN: I bet Sarah Palin has been wondering for a while why her nice underwear keeps getting all stretched out.

ANA MARIE: Oh, oh, oh: This is teh awesome. That awful American Carol movie? Apparently it is tanking because of a liberal conspiracy! Not because it sucks ass (or toes).

MEGAN: And not because it sucks? Also, since when to theatre owners have a political agenda that doesn't involve making money?

ANA MARIE: That's what happened with Ishtar, too, right?

MEGAN: Fucking radical commie theatre owners, trying to keep conservative movies down and out. You know they're just doing it to make sure W. does better, which it will and not just because it has, like, recognizable actors and a famous director and shit.

ANA MARIE: Well, theater-owners bias toward experimental liberal films is well-documented. And that why the megaplex down the street has five screens showing Reds.

MEGAN: It's like you think you're going to see the Batman movie and SHAZAM!! you're being indoctrinated again.

ANA MARIE: And the Koyaanisqatsi midnight showing. It's like Rocky Horror Picture Show but with people dressed as mountains.

MEGAN: And throwing glitter for snow. Unlike Rocky, though, it totally ends in a plushie orgy. Because that's what radicalized Commies do. It's why they never really succeeded — too busy fucking to fuck shit up.

ANA MARIE: And then everyone gets quiet for the five minute shot of a plane taking off. (Which is an actual scene in the movie. And, fwiw, I'm sure it does get Todd Palin hard.)

MEGAN: But, really, what doesn't get Todd Palin hard? I'm sure even Joe Pesci in a leotard and tutu holding a tire iron would do it.

MEGAN: Hey, so, did you go to or host some awesome debate-watching party as befits a DC denizen? I mostly cracked a bottle of wine, ordered in Thai food and blogged from my sofa bed with Anna on one side of me and her husband snorting on the other every time Palin failed to answer a question.

KAY: Well, my work (the Center for American Progress) hosted a debate watching party for staff, but I opted for one filled with bloggers instead.

MEGAN: So were things broken? Was there lots of shouting? I blog in near-silence, it's very monastic. But I know I'm weird like that.

KAY: There was an abundance of sarcasm. Remember, this is the same group of people that will likely dress up as a combination of comic book characters and political puns for Halloween.

MEGAN: Halloween-wise, I'm still stuck in adolescence when I wasn't allowed to dress as anything sexy and instead found this amazing/horrifying red velveteen Ren-Fairey queen-like bridesmaid's dress for $2.50 and went as Lady Macbeth for like 3 years in a row. The last time I went all out for a costume, I was Madonna, circa "Express Yourself." Anyway, so, the debates. Do you think people noticed when she didn't answer questions and kept talking about oil?

KAY: Well, she also said that she wasn't going to answer the questions:

And I may not answer the questions that either the moderator or you want to hear, but I'm going to talk straight to the American people and let them know my track record also.

MEGAN: I know! I can't even really raise my eyebrows, but they went up at that! I was like, can she do that? Can't Gwen Ifill be like, no, you have to answer the question?

KAY: That was the closest thing I've ever seen to a candidate just say "fuck you" to the moderator.

MEGAN: I mean, and if anyone was going to tell Gwen Ifill to go fuck herself, you would have thought it would be Cheney, after she told him to keep it to 30 seconds in 2004 against Edwards when he was trying to defend Halliburton.

KAY: Right, if Cheney can restrain himself and Palin can't that really says something.

MEGAN: But at least when she tells Pat Leahy to go fuck himself, she'll toss her hair, smile, wink at Arlen Specter over his shoulder and saunter off. And the press will think it's cute. She'll have an aide/hype man with her at all times so that when she does it, he can press play on the boom box and she'll walk off to the strains of "Barracuda." Because, otherwise, it would all be for naught.

KAY: Right. But for all that prep work, it appears that Biden still blew her out of the water. I guess the point was that she just didn't look horribly unprepared, only minorly.

MEGAN: Oh, true, although at a couple of points I, too, thought she was arranging her cue cards with talking points because that's the only way some of her answers made sense. I really got the sense that, short of reading talking points off of cue cards and an ability to arrange them in some kind of order, she wasn't able to effectively segue between thoughts/talking points for answers to questions that she didn't have prepared answers for. But even so, the CBS poll didn't show as stark a win for Biden as the CNN one.

KAY: True, it's always hard to say how much stock to put in these assessment polls. It's always hard to say how "uncommitted" the voters they poll are.

MEGAN: I know, I never feel like I'm uncommitted by the summer. I'm usually uncommitted in the primaries, just because I sort of like underdogs and don't have the energy to care that much, but generally speaking, I've done my research by now even when I'm not writing about it for work.

KAY: I'm always astonished when you talk to people and they seem to say, "I don't really know that much about candidate X" as if they are powerless to do anything to solve this problem. It's called the Internet, people! Use it!

MEGAN: I think, though, that some of this stuff is really hard to wade through. Like on health care or taxes, how many people do their own taxes or buy their own health insurance? So you can read a 1 page or a 3 page white paper on either one and it's full of pablum and platitudes and you come away having no idea how those plans will affect you personally. Like, that's why the war differences are a stark contrast. That's why, at least in this case, it's really easy to explain to people why John McCain's health care "plan" sucks. It was actually pretty cool last night to hear Biden shred it both effectively and more or less correctly inside of 45 seconds in a way I felt like real people could understand if they were listening. You very rarely get down to that level of making stuff understandable for real people in politics.

KAY: Oh it's definitely valuable to have people listen to the debates. But there's also tons of analysis on each of the candidates' plans out there. McCain's health care "plan" is a good example. The campaign released it more than a year ago, and it was only until recently that people are starting to realize that he proposes taking insurance premiums out of post-tax dollars instead of pre-tax ones like they are now. And even if he gives you a tax credit on your premiums, because everyone's on the individual market costs would skyrocket within a few years so that the tax credit is virtually useless. This stuff is all out there. I know politics seems intimidating, but there are tons of great resources out there now to keep people informed about this stuff, even if they know nothing about it.

MEGAN: I mean, I wrote about it months ago in order to contrast Hillary's plan with Obama's and then I stuck McCain's plan in there for good measure. And I can tell you, that tax credit thing is vintage Douglas Holtz-Eakin (i.e., from McCain's tax guy, NOT his health care guy) because most conservative economists think the problem with the health care system is the fact that your employers gives you health insurance and so it's not a perfect market-based system. And, in their mind, if you bought your own health care rather than being part of your employer's risk pool, you would be more frugal with your health care choices and the market would operate better. OF COURSE they forget that it means that lots of people would go without health insurance, be unable or unwilling to pay and foolishly avoid the doctor for too long, driving up health care costs (since preventative care and early treatment are less expensive than catastrophic care), but, after all, they're just economists. It works on paper, right? And that's what America needs right now, better economic models.

KAY: It's so true. We should just forget about doctors and just send people to economists when they're sick. That'll fix the problem, right?

MEGAN: Well, if we're all contagious, it'll probably solve the problem with economists, anyway.

10:35 ET: Okay, folks, such as, I'm out of here. There's a whole 'nother bottle of wine I could be drinking and I don't want to waste any by spilling it on my keyboard. I'll see you in Crappy Hour tomorrow.

10:32 ET: Why the fuck didn't they turn their mikes off? And why is anyone talking over it??

10:30 ET: Biden's all, the last 8 years have sucked, and there's a need for fundamental change and change isn't about more tax breaks and shit, like they define it. It's about keeping your houses, and getting an education and having health care and decency and some fucking respect. "It's time for America to get up together." Oooh, and then he ends with, "And, although it's selfish for both of us, may God protect our troops." So much better than Palin's.

10:28 ET: Palin likes to be able to answer tough questions WITHOUT A FILTER FROM THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA. Because Katie Couric made her look bad. Also, by the way, they're an "average" family. If I can repeat myself, the median household income in this country is $47,000 and she and Todd make about $250,000. Also, she makes an underhanded reference to Michelle Obama there. John McCain is the only person who has "ever fought for you"

10:28 ET: Back to taxes and energy, yawn.

10:27 ET: "You do what I did as governor and appoint people regardless of political affiliation" as long ad they're completely loyal friends of yours from way back, regardless of experience.

10:26 ET: How do you change the tone is Washington? Joe Biden knows, because he learned from Mike Mansfield and everyone goes, "Who is Mike Mansfield?" But also Joe doesn't question people's motives, just their judgment.

10:25 ET: Sarah Palin only regrets not vetoing budgets. She's never had to compromise on anything because she, um, compromises. Does she know what the word compromise means?

10:24 ET: Judicial ideology: Biden led the fight to kill Bork. And he did change on it.

10:23 ET: 8 mentions total from Biden right there. I might have to vomit.

10:22 ET: OH GOD NOW BIDEN HAS STARTED. Do I still have to drink if Biden is calling bullshit on the "Maverick" claim" 5...6...7 mentions.

10:21 ET: SHE SAID IT AGAIN! MY LIVER MIGHT NOT SURVIVE!

10:21 ET: Maverick! Drink! Fuck! I'm drunk! Stop saying it!

10:19 ET: Joe Biden's self-deprecating and it's sorta cute. Oh, and he'll put his record up against McCain. Oh, did he mention that he wrote the VAWA and McCain voted against it? Oh, and he was a widower. And he acknowledges that he's better off than most Americans, but, by the way, he's not that much better off than Sarah Palin. And then he almost breaks down remembering when Beau almost didn't survive and bites it back.

10:17 ET: Gwen asks what their real Achilles heels are. Sarah Palin says, I'm experienced! I'm a mom! I have kids! ENERGY! Also, she had a kid going to college... who was that? The eldest is going to Iraq and the other one is getting married. Also, she quotes Reagan, we're a beacon, we are an ideal. We're a force for good. John McCain's her partner. Wait, answer.

10:16 ET: "Vice Cheney has been one of the most dangerous Vice Presidents in the history of this nation." Fuck yeah he has. Also, then he calls bullshit on his legislative authority only when he can cast a tie vote and to not have to release records when Executive Privilege fails.

10:14 ET: Joe Biden calls out No Child Left Behind as an unfunded mandate! Take that Republicans! Plus Biden gets things done. Bitch is the new black, and Biden is the new bitch.

10:12 ET: They both all shit on the Vice Presidency, but Palin says no one got their jokes. No, I got it. They were just bad jokes. Wait, what? She wants the legislative branch to give her more power?

10:11 ET: Palin breaks out the cute bit. Doggone it. Jill Biden's reward is in heaven. FUCKING A, for real? Her pappy is there! She gives her brother's students extra credit for watching the debate and, fucking a, seriously, I know y'all like the TGIF posts but this shit is making my fucking teeth hurt.

10:10 ET: Joe Biden hangs out at Home Depot! I like the paint department. And I tend to buy a lot in the nails and screws aisle. No lie, but a funny line.

10:09 ET: "He's never asked me to check my opinions at the door." The Holmestead erupts in snickers. Then she says "Main Street" and we drink some more.

10:08 ET: "God forbid that would ever happen." AND THEN Maverick! Drink!

10:06 ET: Gwen asks about being a heartbeat away, given that they have different positions. Biden says "God forbid," but that he would carry out Obama's policies: health care, tax breaks, going to college, emergy policy, end war in Iraq, kill OBL and eliminate al Qaeda, engage allies, and would reject the Bush Doctrine of preemption and regime change and replace it with one of prevention."

10:05 ET: Sarah Palin's tossing her hair again and is all like, omg, the pundits on the news tomorrow are gonna pwn you! Such as. Then she reads a bunch of random talking points.

10:03 ET: "Oh, man, it's so obvious that I'm a Washington outsider, I don't understand the way you operate." And "Americans are craving that Straight Talk." Um, maybe John McCain should fire Steve Schmidt and try giving them some? ANd then she agrees with a no-fly zone in Darfur. And she would totally divest Alaska's funds invested in Darfur but, um, it hasn't passed yet. It's October. The legislature's out of session. It ain't gonna. I'm betting it makes some money.

10:02 ET: He suggests a nofly zone in Darfur? Fuck yeah.

10:01 ET: Spencer says this. Biden says other things, including "Bosniacs."

9:59 ET: Palin goes back to Afghanistan, and Joe Biden audibly sighs. Oh, wait, and she stops talking about the Surge in Afghanistan and starts talking counterinsurgency. That's just a leetle bit different, honey. Ask Spencer. I would, but I'm liveblogging.

9:58 ET: Biden is all, um, American commanders say we can't surge and we spend way more money in Iraq. Also, Biden points out that McCain voted against the Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty and other arms control regime. Then he talks about the Obama-Lugan nonproliferation bill.

9:57 ET: Um, so, Palin is all, it's so reckless to say that we're air-raiding and attacking villages, but we're not doing that! We're bringing democracy! And building schools! Once we're done bombing shit, but, shhhh, don't talk about that.

9:56 ET: "Bush Doctrine" question... without calling it that. When would you deploy them? Palin says to keep other people from getting them. And then brings up Kim Jong Il. Oh, and now she decided to bring up Afghanistan? But then she's all, bring the Surge to Afghanistan.

9:55 ET: "Past is prologue. How different is John McCain's policy is going to be than George Bush's." Ooh, check the repetition.

9:54 ET: Maverick! Drink!

9:54 ET: "Enough is enough with your ticket looking backward and playing the blame game." Oh, right! Let's not talk about how you guys ARE REPUBLICAN TOO AND SUPPORTED THE BUSH POLICIES.

9:52 ET: Joe Biden is the new Suede! Also, Biden and Obama love Israel. Oh, wait, he's all swimming laps around her on Hamas elections, Lebanon and Hezbollah.

9:51 ET: Palin backs a two-state solution in Israel. Israel. What the fuck is up with McCain-Palin saying "A Second Holocaust" all the time? Floridians? Bueller?

9:50 ET: Biden brings up the Spain gaffe! Booh-yah.

9:49 ET: Biden says 5 Secs of State say we should sit down and talk and all our allies. McCain says he'd go along with an agreement but not sit down. Also, debates = not the time to educate about diplomacy.

9:48 ET: THEY HATE OUR FREEDOMS. No, actually, they mostly just hate our asshole government. But Zadari would fuck you, so, like, hey, whatevs, I'm sure they won't use those nukes.

9:46 ET: Oh, so, on Pakistan and Iran, Palin says they're both dangerous but then starts talking about Iraq. Oh, and then it's all about Iran and Israel is in jeopardy from Ahmadenijad (who she calls "not sane or stable") and then she brings up Kim Jong Il (has nukes) and the Castro brothers (no nukes) and blah blah blah preconditions um HELLO Pakistan? Oh, right, they don't letcha talk about that anymore, such as Let's forget Pakistan have nukes.

9:45 ET: Pakistan and Iran time! Biden says they're both dangerous but Pakistan has deployed nukes and Iran wants them. Biden points out that the next attack is gonna come from al Qaeda in Pakistan/Afghanistan and he's right but, like, um, maybe we shouldn't talk about the "next attack."

9:44 ET: Sarah Palin is snotty about Obama on Iraq. Like, really snotty. Okay, for real, I'm pretty sure she's flipping through her index cards at the podium. "John McCain has been dead wrong on the fundamentals of the issues related to the war." Prolly shouldn't call the old guy "dead" anything.

9:42 ET: "Um... Your plan is a white flag of surrender." Plus, Obama doesn't believe the Surge worked and it will have worked when we've won, whenever that is.

9:41 ET: I'm a bad American. I lost his train of thought, too, but he did actually string sentences together in a string of logical

9:40 ET: Ok, seriously, I lost her train of though a minute ago. Biden didn't notice an actual answer about a plan for withdrawal, either.

9:39 ET: Foreign policy questions! Ifill is, like, soooo in the tank.

9:38 ET: Palin won't agree with Biden that what she just said was that there shouldn't be a distinction of the civil rights afforded homosexuals and straight people. But she doesn't support gay marriage, definitely.

9:38 ET: Biden and Obama don't support redefining marriage. Sigh.

9:37 ET: Palin says she wouldn't expand it to gays outside of Alaska because it might be too close to making it like a "real" marriage but she has GAY FRIENDS! So, you know, it's tolerant. And they wouldn't prohibit same-sex visits or same-sex contracts that look like marriage, except, you know, how the Republican party in Virginia pushed that shit through.

9:36 ET: Does Biden support granting same-sex benefits the way they do in Alaska? Biden says, fuck yeah! He then flubs and says "same sex marriage" instead of "domestic partnership."

9:35 ET: She mocks Biden for saying that clean coal isn't clean. It isn't. I lobbied (briefly) for the coal industry. There's a fucking reason they run so many happy-happy ads about it.

9:33 ET: Sarah Palin smiles and tosses her hair and grins and says "Dill, baby, drill." Then she's like, Alaska pipeline and people are hungry and she says "you even called offshore drilling 'raping the inner continental shelf'" with a smile.

9:32 ET: Biden is all like, Bish plz. We all know it's man made. Then he talks about things like investing in solar, clean coal and nuclear, plus exporting our energy. This is how you actually make points. "John McCain has voted 20 times... So I guess the only answer is 'drill, drill, drill'"

9:30 ET: Gwen, honey, why are you gonna ask her about energy? She's just gonna bring it up. Palin is all, we know about climate change because we're arctic! She makes a bunch of random statements about energy independence and such. I believe this is the bullshitting moment. It's all fucking talking points without a link between them.

9:28 ET: Palin still isn't going to talk about bankruptcy or mortgages. She's going to talk about energy. ENERGY MOTHERFUCKERS. THERE IS NO OTHER ISSUE!!!1!!

9:27 ET: The bankruptcy bill: Biden says it didn't effect the mortgage crisis. Um, you know, I actually know someone who's fucked over because of it. But Obama voted against it. Biden didn't because he's from Delaware. He thinks also that bankruptcy courts should be allowed to adjust both interest rates and principles. McCain supposedly doesn't support that, but Biden doesn't know. I do. He doesn't.

9:26 ET: "We have John McCain to thank for at least warning people." Oh, ok. Good to know he wasn't expected to be effective or anything.

9:24 ET: Palin denies that she or McCain won't keep every single fucking promise they made. Joe Biden snickers a little. Then he attacks her on the issues. John McCain wants a tax cut for the oil companies. Palin imposed a windfall profit tax on the oil comps — and that's what Biden and Obama want but John McCain opposes it. He wants her to convince McCain to help them on that.

9:22 ET: Obama says one thing in Scanton and another in San Francisco. Now she's not going to answer the question, and she's talking about energy and taking on the oil companies. She also said "Bless their hearts" about oil company executives. No, really, fuck those guys.

9:21 ET: Biden says they won't be able to double foreign aid and won't extend Bush's tax credits. Good answer. Then he says all the stuff they won't cut.

9:19 ET: By the way, Joe Biden makes that point. The average health care plan costs $12,000 and year, and 20 million people will lose their health insurance and have to use that $5,000 to buy something else. He calls that "the ultimate Bridge to Nowhere" and the audience laughs.

9:18 ET: Sarah Palin says that she'll give you a $5K tax credit will help you. Unless, of course, like 40% of Americans you make less than $45K a year and don't pay any income taxes, in which case you're fucked, completely, because it's not a fully refundable credit and they're going to pay for it by eliminating your employer's incentive to pay for your health insurance. In which case, then, you're exceptionally fucked.

9:17 ET: Sarah Palin says that Joe Biden saying that having the rich pay more taxes is patriotic isn't. She says she and Todd have always been "middle class." Oh course, median income in this country is $47,000 and they make $250,000, but whatevs.

9:16 ET: Joe Biden says, "None of the wealthy will pay any more taxes than they did under Ronald Reagan." Oh, snap!

9:15 ET: It is very strange to hear the words "class warfare" come out of Gwen Ifill's mouth. Really, really strange. Biden gives a good answer, actually, about the $250,000 limit on who will pay more and John McCain giving tax breaks to the rich and companies.

9:14 ET: Oh, Palin isn't going to fucking talk about health care! Fuck you America! Fuck you Biden! Fuck you, Gwen! She's going to talk about taxes! You don't need no stinking health care!

9:13 ET: Palin says that Obama would raise taxes on people that make $42,000 a year. Um, someone go check out the work of the Tax Foundation where I used to work, but the number of people that earn $42,000 a year and pay any federal income tax (not Social Security and Medicare) is really low. I used to know, actually, but I drink too much and they laid me off in 2007.

9:12 ET: Ifill offers Palin the chance to respond to Biden's point on health care, but she'd rather talk taxes. That's because McCain's health care "plan" sucks. But, hey, taxes! Barack Obama loves taxes!

9:11 ET: Biden points out that McCain is all about deregulating health care.

9:10 ET: Biden says Obama warned about the subprime crisis and John McCain didn't know there was an issue and wanted to deregulate more. Holy fuck, how many time is Biden going to say "regulate," "regulation" "deregulate" or "deregulation"? That can't be a drinking word or I will be admitted to the fucking ER tonight.

9:09 ET: Palin talked deception, predatory lending, greed and corruption on Wall Street. Neglects to mention any specific things to change it. But she does bring up Joe Six Pack and Hockey Moms so yay! And also, you need to make sure you don't need to be taken advantage of again and not spend so profligately.

9:08 ET: Palin brings up the whole talking point about how Washington needs a non-Washingtonian. Do Americans really buy that some guy that's been in D.C. for almost 30 years is an outsider? Really?

9:08 ET: "Maverick" mention! Drink up, drinky!

9:07 ET: Joe points out that McCain is out of touch because of his "fundamentals" comment. Palin says that means the workforce, not any pesky things like inflation or unemployment or whatever.

9:06 ET: Biden, if you're going to mention violence against women, you probs ought to bring up VAWA, you know, the bill you sponsored?

9:05 ET: Palin needs a fucking barometer to figure out whether this is a good economic time? And there's a fear that our retirement plans have taken a hit? But notice! She's a mom! At soccer games! What happened to hockey, honey?

9:04 ET: "Main Street." Drink!

9:03 ET: Bailout question. Joe calls Palin "Governor." Ooh, that's gonna be an interesting contrast, and not in Palin's favor. On the topic, Biden points out excess deregulation. We need oversight.

9:02 ET: They take the stage. Sarah blows kisses at Gwen, asks permission to call Biden "Joe." That isn't gonna work out well.

9:01: And Gwen Ifill has started! And strangely, her audio was about 5 seconds off her mouth moving for the first 30 seconds. We have decided we are uncommitted to CSPAN because it is not in HD

9:00 ET: The room has gone silent except for the person coughing BUT IT IS NOT ME. I am in New York and have a much manlier cough.

8:55 ET: Anna and I have tuned to the CSPAN feed because we have heard that there is a split feed so that we can watch Palin's and Biden's reactions. Said feed currently panning the audience without any audio. This is far less exciting than Keith Olbermann, I gotta say.

1. Joe Biden never wears pants behind the podium. Ever.
2. Sarah Palin carries a derringer in her purse and has a tendencies to discreetly menace her opponents with it when she appears to be losing.
3. Joe Biden isn't gaffe-prone. The poor bastard has Tourette's.
4. Sarah Palin isn't inarticulate when trying to answer questions. Those are actually what her notecards say.
5. There is no such state as "Delaware." Joe Biden made it up and just convinced the rest of the country that it was real, so you really don't have to worry about him winning.
6. Sarah Palin was also recently elected governor-in-absentia of Siberia, so she finally has some foreign policy experience.
7. Joe Biden will lose the swimsuit portion of the competition.
8. ...right up until McCain rushes out to interrupt Palin and takes the stage in a turquoise tankini set with black pumps. The mis-matched shoes will kill you every time.
9. Gwen Ifill will channel Barbara Walters and press Joe Biden to confide about the night his first wife was killed, and he'll start to weep.
10. The crying will cause Palin to chortle audibly, earning her hisses from the audience which, like Ifill, will all be in the tank for Obama at that point.

Underestimate Palin At Your Own Risk, Former Rivals Say [LA Times]
Shooting From the Hip, With a Smile to Boot [Washington Post]
Palin's Accent Takes Center Stage [Politico]
Palin Proved to Be Formidable Foe in Alaska Debates [Wall Street Journal]
Though an Experienced Debater, Biden Is Often Tripped Up by Spontaneity [NY Times]
Past Debates Show a Confident Palin, at Times Fluent but Often Vague [NY Times]

• McCain suggested he might suspend his campaign again so that he can really broker a bailout plan to save the country and be a hero... and we all know how well that worked out the last time. [The Nation]
• An actuarial company has predicted that McCain has a 25 percent chance of dying in office his second term, which is why Sarah Palin is cracking jokes about Joe Biden's age and asked people whether they want "the new energy, the new face, the new ideas" in the White House in her new interview with Katie Couric. [MSNBC, Politico]
• By the way, despite the fact that Republican leaders initially claimed it was Pelosi's partisan speech that caused Republicans to vote against the bailout plan — a stance mocked by no less than Minnesota Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann and Rush Limbaugh — it turns out that it was actually Newt Gingrich's fault! He ginned up opposition to the bill to test the waters for a 2012 Presidential run before releasing a tepid statement of support while the Members he conned voted his will in the floor. Dick. [Huffington Post, Huffington Post, Politico, Huffington Post]
• The Republican strategy to win in Ohio — as in Michigan before that — remains to disenfranchise new, poor and minority voters. For real. It's easier than winning based on your candidate or the issues, apparently. [MSNBC, Michigan Messenger]

• Palin's former aides admit that she's a little ADD about debate prep but usually pulls it out in the end because she's all charming and shit. [LA Times, Andrew Sullivan]
• Palin gave her first newspaper interview — via e-mail, naturally — and managed not to stick her foot in it. Her staff managed to do little more than reiterate talking points in e-mail format, but it's a start. [Mat-Su Frontiersman]
• Gwen Ifill broke her ankle this week (Steve Schmidt has nothing to do with it, he swears) but neither rain nor snow nor dark of night will keep her from asking Sarah Palin about foreign policy. [Fishbowl LA]
• Bill Clinton plans to suck it up and do a couple of Obama rallies in Florida so people will stop saying he's bitter and not really keen on an Obama presidency. Now if only he can keep the passive-aggressive slights to himself while doing them! [The Guardian]

• That compromise bailout plan intended to save the economy? Yeah, it failed. [Washington Post]
• The Dow proceeded to drop 778 points, the largest one-day loss in nearly 2 decades. Many people just kissed their asses and life savings goodbye. [Washington Post]
• Republicans blame Nancy Pelosi for giving an offensive speech before the vote, which included partisan remarks like recognizing that Bush inherited surpluses and now the economy sucks. [Politico, Swampland]
• Barney Frank responded to those criticisms thusly: "Because somebody hurt their feelings, they decide to punish the country." Fucking crybabies. [Huffington Post]

• McCain economic adviser Douglas Holtz-Eakin blamed Democrats for preventing his boss from saving this great nation. Even my mom rolled her eyes at that shit. [Talking Points Memo]
• Others think that if McCain was so willing to take credit for the bailout yesterday, he should grow a pair and take credit for the failure today. My mom wiped tears from her eyes when she was done laughing at that one. [Marc Ambinder]
• Sarah Palin is looking forward to winning the debate because Joe Biden rooted for his home state football team, thus continuing her streak of WTF comments. [NY Times]
• The new Sarah Palin interview clips that will be on today and tomorrow on CBS are from Palin's second, brand-new interview with Katie Couric. Apparently, the fun can continue. [LA Times]

Gwen Ifill moderated the 2004 debate between Vice President Dick Cheney and Senator John Edwards, asking a total of 20 questions. Ten of those questions were specifically about foreign policy — including the first 9 — while Cheney brought up foreign policy in two addition domestic policy questions and Edwards snuck it into one of his domestic policy answers. In the latter three cases, Edwards and Cheney responded to the other's foreign policy forays in kind. That means that foreign policy discussions comprised two-thirds of the last Vice Presidential debate.

Unlike the two Vice Presidential debates (Lieberman-Cheney and Gore-Kemp) before that, in 2008, this country has troops stationed abroad fighting in conflicts that we started — i.e., we're in the midst of two foreign wars— much as it did in 2004. During the Cheney-Edwards debate, the foreign policy questions were about Iraq, Afghanistan, the use of intelligence, Iran and Israel — gosh, it kind of seems like those might be ongoing and relevant issues, right? (Let alone that Sarah Palin has suggested that we go to war with Russia, attack Pakistan and has tried to burnish her foreign policy credentials by getting photo ops with world leaders might be relevant.) But Nancy Pfuckingsucks and Doocy think that it would totally be unfair to ask Sarah Palin too much about it.

Doocy said, "it seems like they're stacking the deck against" Palin by asking too much about foreign policy — not that Gwen Ifill has released her list of questions or anything — and added "the average person is more concerned with domestic stuff than foreign stuff anyway." Presumably he meant "the average person that doesn't have loved ones in imminent danger fighting one of the two wars abroad in which we are currently embroiled." Pfuckingsucks agreed, says " "Exactly! I think the moderator will have some serious questions to answer if they do go so heavily on foreign policy," and defined "heavy" as sixty percent of the questions — which is, as I pointed out, less than the percentage of the Cheney-Edwards debate that centered in foreign policy. I guess it's only fair to focus on foreign policy questions when it's the Democrat without a whole lot of experience.

In much the same way that the Obama-Biden campaign is seeking to lower expectations of Biden by talking Palin up, the McCain-Palin campaign is seeking to mitigate her expected trouncing by blaming Gwen Ifill. They're literally going on the airwaves and trashing Ifill and her journalistic credentials in advance of a single question being asked in the hopes that she won't ask too much about foreign policy and to garner sympathy for Palin if she does. How long do you think until Pfuckingsucks takes to the air again to suggest that Ifill is "in the tank" for Obama because they have so much in common? Tuesday? Wednesday?

McCain Camp to Ifill: Go Easy on Palin [Talking Points Memo]
The Cheney-Edwards Vice Presidential Debate [The Commission on Presidential Debates]
Palin: U.S. Might Have To Go To War With Russia [Chicago Tribune]
McCain Retracts Palin's Pakistan Comments [CNN]
Sarah Palin Meets World Leaders [Huffington Post]
Obama-Biden Camp Hypes Palin’s Debating Skills [CNN]

• John McCain will be debating after all tonight in Mississippi, and I'll be live-blogging it at 9:00 ET to help you get through it. [Washington Post]
• As the ad indicates, McCain started declaring victory in the debate right about the same time he decided to attend it. Talk about lowered expectations. [CNN]
• Everyone from his former adviser Craig Shirley to his former opponent Mike Huckabee thinks McCain fucked this up. Ya think? [Huffington Post, CNN]
• Aides to Sarah Palin are defying subpoenas issued in response to the troopergate probe of the Alaska governor; seven of them simply didn't appear in court today. Is anyone surprised?

• House Republicans have decided to try this "negotiations" thing on the bailout plan they keep hearing about. Oh, goodie. [Washington Post]
• Those would be the same House Republicans who proposed their bailout plan yesterday that McCain backed in his now-infamous White House meeting. Aides admit McCain had no idea what the fuck the plan was about, big surprise. [Think Progress]
• Economists agree that said plan is fucking stupid. [Politico]
• If McCain hadn't had his head up is ass and no idea what he was doing, he could've noticed that the public wasn't keen on the plan that was out there and made some political hay out of that. Luckily for Obama, McCain finds it really cozy up there in his lower colon, even if it does smell a little funky. [LA Times]
• Democrats are calling McCain "erratic," as though being terminally stupid is somehow different for him. [Politico]

• Congressional lawmakers came to terms on the bailout package today, several hours before John McCain got done giving his Clinton Global Initiative speech and arrived on the Hill to rescue the American economy. [NY Times]
• That doesn't mean he's going to be at the debate tomorrow, of course. There might be something else he could rescue for the good of the nation instead of sucking it up and debating Obama, he's sure. [NY Times]
• Mississippi's Republican governor, Haley Barbour, says they're all systems go for a debate. Obama plans to have a townhall meeting without McCain if McCain is too much of a coward to debate him. [CNN, Huffington Post]
• By the way, McCain's "suspension" saved his campaign $1 million in ads and generated a shitload of earned media. It also didn't stop him from campaigning. [Huffington Post, Huffington Post]

• Meanwhile, Sarah Palin's interview with Katie Couric continued apace, with her repeating the ridiculousness about Russia being close enough to nuke Alaska and calling for a logistically impossible surge in Afghanistan "lead us to victory there as it has proven to have done in Iraq." Oh, brother. No wonder they don't want her debating Biden. [DailyKos, Huffington Post]
• Also, she might make an appearance on Saturday Night Live this weekend. Does anyone else hear the siren song of a drunken live blog? [Newser]
• Jewsvote.org and and Israeli production company both released films today to try to counteract polls that show the Jewish vote swinging for McCain. The latter group, though, calls it "The Great Schlep" and has Sarah Silverman, so they win. [Time, Huffington Post]

MOE: so tell me what happened at these famous debates. i'm barely capable of holding up my head.
MEGAN: Dude, I am SO AWAKE this morning because when I got up slightly hungover and walked into my bathroom, I was greeted by my apartment's official harbinger of warm weather: the single cockroach that each year finds its way into my apartment.
MOE: oh GOD boric acid boric acid eeek gross i'm sorry
MEGAN: Yeah, 6 months ago I sprayed every inch of the bathroom with some terribly carcinogenic anti-bug thing, so it was only half alive. It nonetheless scared the crap out of me.
However, I have to say, that carcinogenic stuff is only supposed to last 6 months so hooray cancer! and buh-bye roaches.
Anyway, so, the debates. If you actually wanted to see them talk about their differences on issues, you probably should've just re-watched the Ohio one.
MOE: The booooing thing sounds kind of historic
MEGAN: You mean, when the audience booed the commercial break?
MOE: This thing says they booed charlie gibson.
MEGAN: Because he sucked. And because he lost the coin toss to Snuffleupaugus and kept having to do the bumper to commercial.
MOE: Fox News doesn't seem to have a verdict on who "won"
MEGAN: Fox News is the only one, then. The papers and MSNBC have awarded it to Hillary because ABC grilled Obama more or something. I think it's just because he stuck with the whole "the American people are tired of this kid of politics" theme and didn't sic her when offered the opportunity on a platter and Hilary, like me, tends to dig right into some bloody, rare meat served up on a platter.
MOE: Tom Shales called the two of them "despicable"
which is kinda cool.
MEGAN: Aw, Snuffleupaugus wasn't as bad as "despicable" would suggest. I'm sure he didn't write his own questions.
MOE: I got some kind of confused emails and text messages throughout...such as THIS DEBATE IS THE MOST RIDICULOUS THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. YOU CANNOT 'BELIEVE' THE QUESTIONS STEPHANOPOULOUS AND CHARLIE GIBSON ARE ASKING. I AM ASHAMED AT THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA. PLEASE BLOG THIS IN YOUR CRAPPY HOUR - I'M SURE ALL THE BLOGS WILL BE DISCUSSING IT ALL NIGHT. IT'S A DISGRACE.
and "ummmm, is this thing as big a waste of time as it is for the candidates as it is for me?" etc etc
This is the most
hilarious recap though.
MEGAN: I have to say, I drank last night so it wasn't a total waste of time. A lovely French red.
MOE:

If Hillary Clinton had not gone into politics it is possible to imagine her as a brilliant actor, whose Lady Macbeth would come to be seen as definitive....He looked as cool as a cucumber: a highly alert cucumber, but not one which was frightened of being sliced up and turned into sandwiches.

The boyish Stephanopoulos, who has done wonders with the network's Sunday morning hour, "This Week" (as, indeed, has Gibson with the nightly "World News"), looked like an overly ambitious intern helping out at a subcommittee hearing, digging through notes for something smart-alecky
and slimy. He came up with such tired tripe as a charge that Obama once associated with a nutty bomb-throwing anarchist. That was "40 years ago, when I was 8 years old," Obama said with exasperation.